InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Strength,Hurt,and Love ❯ Memories and Longing ( Chapter 2 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

SPOV
Memories. That is what gets me through my long days of battle. The memories of her in my arms, loving me the only way she can, and no other could.
How I miss the way she would smile just for me. That mesmerizing toothy grin in which her beauty blossoms right in front of you.
Kagome. Its just purely a Kagome smile.
Kami how I miss that woman! The way she fit against my skin while in an embrace, the way her long legs would wrap around my waist when I carry her to the hot springs, and the way she would look at me in the morning waking up in my arms with the most innocent loving look on her face.
I could never forget when her midnight black hair billows out around her small frame all the way to her more than bountiful behind, then while looking into her blue orbs seeing all the love she has for only me. Always....only me.
I trust her with more than just my life but the life of my lands. Telling her how much I trust her is not complicated. Not like another topic that I have avoided for too long. I should have told her a long time ago my feelings for her. Every day I regret not telling her.
This war needed to end and it needed to end quickly. Too much time has gone by without her knowing what is happening. I fear for what she might decide has happened. She may be tough and well educated but that woman can become very naive when planning strategies.
You can tell her as many times as you like to not let your emotions get the better of you while under attack or creating a plan of attack, but every time she allows her emotions to overcome her then she would get hurt when there was really no reason for her to become injured. We would always win the battles, none the less she has no idea what her injuries do to me.
If she gets hurt during battle it sends my inner Inu into a rage due to his mate being injured, and also myself for even allowing her to get that way.
My need to keep her safe at all times overrode a thought to bring her along with me into war. Usually a Lords mate would stay at the home front in order to keep things there organized and safe for the people. The decision to bring her into battle with me was only so I could keep my mind at ease for I knew she would be with me at all times.
Leaving her there in the meadows that night, two nights before our mating, was one of the hardest things I have done in my long life..
Her emotions were more than confusion and worry, but of sadness and hurt. I knew very well that our mating was coming up in two days time. Since the day I met her I could not wait until the day she would share the passion she instilled in me. Making her my mate was my top priority.
Then on that night I left her there without any indication of when I would return.
Knowing I hurt her, killed me. All I wanted was to sweep her up into my arms and make love to every thing that was Kagome. She is my life.
My everything...
I just have not told her yet.
Regretting what I haven't told her til the day I see her again is what I'll do. She deserves my love more than I deserved hers.
Thinking back on the last letter I realized it was time to let her know I would be coming home in just two days. Also I needed to write the council and inform them that we have accomplished what we set out here to do in the first place.
The battle was long and has made my soldiers weary in travel, but it is due time we head home to our mates and children.
Thinking of children made a picture of Rin flash through my mind.
Her adorable antics while playing with Jaken. I miss her as well as my lady. Those two could wreck havoc upon the castle, but they brought such joy to the lives of everyone they came into contact with, especially their lord.
Two years I have spent away from the tranquil contentment that is my home. It is time we leave the sight of battle.
“My Lord”
Came the voice of one of my soldiers from behind me.
I tried to make it look like I was not sitting there contemplating on all of what I miss. I could see in his eyes the longing of returning home just as much as any of my other men.
“Yes?”
“My Lord you have a message from Lady Kagome.” He said as he handed me the parchment with her seal upon it.
“The messenger said it was urgent. It came just this morning.” He then bowed and walked away to lend me privacy.
'Sesshomaru, I just want you to come home, please. I miss you so much and all I do here is study and train. I'm tired... You have been gone for so long at war, sometimes it scares me. How do I know you will make it home to me? How do I know you even want to mate me any more. I haven't heard from you since the battle of the Gorou (five) and I cannot even remember the way you feel against my skin when we lie in the meadows in the evening under the midnight moon. Even though you reassure me that you can take care of yourself and that you will not be killed by the insubordinate filth that threatens our lands I cannot stay here any longer... I have been waiting for too long love. I need to see you and by the time you read this letter I will have already made it out of our lands. No one knows of my plans so do not take any of your anger out on the servants. I love you and I will find you if it is the last thing I do I am sorry that I have disobeyed your orders and I will except if you decide to be angry with me or throw me out. I just have to see your face before I go mad here with all these political meetings and events. The council wants me to mate the Lord of the East if you do not return. They have already excepted the worst due to the lack of communication between you and the other Lords... Sesshomaru if you still love me I want you to know that I want to mate only you, I want to give only you my virginity, and bear your pups and heir. And know that I love you with everything in my soul. Forgive me....'
Opening up the letter and reading the contents are the last things I remember before everything went blood red...
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KPOV

Riding for over a day has made me completely exhausted. The only reason I am so tired is because using my powers for the amount of time I did really wore on me.
I do have my ways of finding people and I used it to my advantage. Now I'm thinking it was not such a good idea.
Sesshomaru always tells me how I let my emotions get in the way of my decisions, which is true, but it makes me miss him even more.
He was always there for me when I needed him, especially when I got myself into idiotic situations. Sort of like the one I am in now.
When I was told of my 'new mating declaration' my strategic planning went out the window and now here I sit by my stallion with no energy to fight if I had to.
My training over these two years has made me into a force to be reckoned with. By looking at my station now though you could not tell. Sesshomaru would be most disappointed in me. I have let myself become vulnerable to an attack, how stupid...
No wonder he has not came back for me. Heck no wonder he did not want me to go into battle with him. I am so ignorant.
Sighing for the fifth time in three minutes I concluded that I would use my other powers to heal my wounded pride and overworked body. Centering myself I called on my powers to heal my body. My spirit would heal along with my body that's just how it works. These powers are still being learned, but I am very good at what I can do with them.
Though no one knows what sort of power I hold I train myself with them. My Lord does not even know of these powers yet. They came to me about a year and a half ago. Since then I have been training with them along with my other miko powers.
I just hope Sesshomaru is at least content with knowing I can take care of myself and the land if I must.
God I miss him....
Getting up from my healing session I decided to head to the hot spring just around the bend. I grabbed my necessities and headed for natures all forgiving waters.
When I got there I undressed and tip toed over to the relaxing heat of the water.
The scenery of this specific spring was not only beautiful but exotic. Flowers from lilies down to daisies were sprinkled all around the edges. Like this spring was made for perfection. Its beauty was breathtaking. All the more reason why I started to drift to sleep.
The flowers were beginning to fade....the rocks on the side a blur.....tree tops were swirling......
Then black....a black blur...
Hearing water splashing around me with the swishing sounds of a moving being beside me.
I could not move. I could not speak. I could do nothing, but watch the blur take the place of my vision.
Then there was nothing.