InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Stronger ❯ Absolution ( Chapter 12 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

================================================================Chapter twelve – Absolution============================================================= ==:::Terms for use:::Mo-ikkai – againYame – stopBoken – a wooden practice sword, even though the shinai and boken were not created until the 18th century, for my purposes, they’re here now.Saya – scabbard or sheathKoiguchi – Open end of the sayaRei - bowsupaida - spiderkumo - cloudKohaku stared at the remains of his fire and sighed. He would much prefer to be back at his hut, sitting next to the fire cuddling Keiji and listening to Rin’s idle chatter as she prepared dinner. One of his nieces or nephews would undoubtedly come over – probably Seiko, she was the most adventuresome and winsome of the lot, and absolutely adored Rin’s son. The three of them would spend a while just talking and drinking tea around a warm fire and…Kohaku sighed again, deliberately pulling himself away from the thoughts of warmth and love and acceptance. Living with Rin had spoiled him. Slinging his brace of rabbits and other small game over a shoulder, he set off for town. He would sell the rabbits and their skins in exchange for some currency, and wait till the sun set.He had some work to do.-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=--=-=--=-“Mo-ikkai!” Perspiration poured down the demon’s forehead, staining the cloth over his eyes. Wind whistled as the boken slashed downward in a viscous arc.“Mo-ikkai!” Fatigue beat at him as he swung the wooden sword down again. Muscles screamed their protest under the onslaught of sheer physical labor. The muscles in his arms, shoulders, back and chest hurt. “Mo-ikkai!”It wasn’t anything difficult – the wooden sword couldn’t weigh more than a kilo and a half at most. But having done it for a lengthy amount of time was quite…wearing.“Yame!”Carved pine swung up, around in an arc to rest on his left sleeve. ContInuing the motion, he brought the sword across the sleeve, bringing the tip to rest on the simulated koiguchi – to opening of the saya – pausing or a brief second before placing the boken through the ties of his hakama. Atoki drew himself up, hands cupped lightly and pressed to the middle of his outer thighs, elbows very slightly bent and shoulders square, making sure the warriors behind him followed suit. Drawing in a deep, cleansing breath, he exhaled on his final command.“Rei!” Solemnly, he and the warriors bowed in unison. Rising, they strode out of the practice area, single file, each pausing briefly to bow respectfully at the exit point. Atoki followed silently, standing back and watching the soldiers remove sweaty headbands and put on their zoris. Undoubtedly there would be a mass exodus to the hot springs in order to soak away the aches of a particularly rigorous practice session.“Oi, Atoki-sensei!”Atoki turned, catching sight of Kenshin, who was as sweaty and red-faced as the rest of them but still smiling cheerfully.“Yes?”“We’re all going to go down to the tea house this evening, would you like to join us?”Atoki considered. He couldn’t say he was too enthused about the idea – the evening with a bunch of rowdy soldiers who had just gotten paid – but a diversion would be nice, and was indefinitely preferable to a night alone in his quarters.“What time?” He asked.Kenshin considered, his bright red hair, dampened to a dark maroon by sweat, shining weakly in the light from the tall windows. “Around sundown, I believe.”“I’ll meet you there.” Atoki said, waving good-bye as he headed off towards his quarters. He would catch a quick nap and go soak in the hot springs later, after everyone else had vacated it…-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-It mocked him…that kami-forsaken beige edifice in font of him that simply stood, as it had for years, stoically silent, perfectly indifferent to the gnawing, aching emptiness that tore at his insides, silently reinforcing the fact that it needed no one to stand and support the ceiling above his head, while he, the once equally stoic and indifferent taiyoukai, desperately needed the small, not-quite-human female for support and strength.Sesshomaru glared at the offending wall belligerently, before dropping his head to cradle it in his palm, stretching it over his eyes and using his thumb and middle finger to massage his aching temples. Groaning, he turned to try one more time to focus on his work. He was really losing it if he was offended by a wall.-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-The market place was a bustle of noise, people running to and fro, children playing in the dust, their shrieking laughter filling the air amid the cries of vendors hawking their wares and the general noise that accompanied a mass amount of people. Kohaku slipped amongst them easily, making an extra effort to seem like a normal human. He kept his steps light, but made sure he made some noise; he even whistled cheerily as he toted the skinned hares he had slung over his shoulder as he made his was to the meat seller.“Ohayo!” He called gaily as the vendor turned around at his approach. “Good day to you.”The spider-youkai was a hulking creature, a full three meters in height with six arms and slanted, ruby-hued eyes that had neither iris nor pupil. His skin was colored a dark brown, rubbery and extremely smooth, covered in tiny fine “feelers” that helped make up for his weak eyesight. He stood still and allowed the demon to sweep a clawed hand briefly over his face before the two bowed to one another respectfully. “And to you as well little, human,” The supaida-youkai replied gravely as he eyed the game Kohaku brought. He knew Kohaku’s name but had yet to use it, as was the custom amongst his people. Though he had never said anything, Kohaku remembered his training as a taijiya well, and knew that amongst the supaida tribes, names were power, and real names were rarely divulged, and casual ones almost never used. Grinning, Kohaku swung the game over his shoulder and onto the vendor’s table with an audible thunk. “You said something about pheasant for your Lord’s table…?” He asked as he pushed the bird carcass to the fore. “Iie. Not my Lord, the village headman.” The spider demon replied.“Aah,” Kohaku said, as casually as possible, “the Taiyoukai does not prefer pheasant then?”The supaida-youkai snorted vaguely. “He has no real preference. It is well known little human, that he eats from the workingman’s stew pot as readily as he does the High Table. However…” he shot Kohaku a slanted glance, “the head cooks preference for fresh, wild game, especially a choice cut of deer meat, is equally well-known.”Kohaku nodded sagely. The bit about it being fresh didn’t particularly surprise him, nor did the information about it being wild game rather than tame. Game slaughtered in the heat of a battle, rather than animals led calmly to the slaughter did far more to nourish a demon’s youki. However, the knowledge that he preferred deer could be useful…Pocketing the coins handed to him by the vendor, Kohaku set off.-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-Atoki strolled idly through the throngs of people, simply listening to the chatter and appreciating the noise and bustle that made up everyday life in the village. Things were getting stressful in Sesshomaru’s castle. It had been nearly a year since Rin had left, and from that moment on, nothing had been the same. ‘If I only knew…’ Atoki berated himself for what felt like the thousandth time, ‘I would never have let her run past me that day in the forest. I wouldn’t have held Sesshomaru back when he tried to run out the door, I would never have…’ The list went on and on, running through all of the things that he could have changed, would have changed had he the opportunity to go back and do so.‘I would simply have made her mine!’ the treacherous thought sneaked across his consciousness, immediately suppressed. Rin had never been his, and knowing now what he did about the soul bond, he knew that there would never have been a chance for the two of them. Sesshomaru, even had he been consciously consenting to a union between his ward and his general, his youki would have sent him into a blood rage the second Atoki marked her. A blood rage that, past scrolls had shown, would have only ended with his death.Atoki sighed. No, Rin had never been for him, no matter how much he desired it. Sesshomaru’s own reaction to Rin’s refusal of their bond was proof enough as to the seriousness of it. “…I seek information, whom would I go to find it?”The snippet of conversation, very low, nonetheless caught Atoki’s ear as he was strolling past a vendor’s stall. Pausing a little ways away, Atoki examined a piece of jewelry.“The would depend on the type of information you seek.” The vendor said, very low, to the young man he was talking to. “Would you care for this necklace, perhaps?” He continued, a little louder, as he held a chain of crystals up for the young man’s inspection.The man in question, young, with black hair tied back in a low tail at the nape of his neck, dutifully examined the chain. “I seek information on a girl.”Atoki rolled his eyes. ‘I’m eavesdropping on a lover’s spat?’ he thought to himself.“Maybe this one then?” The vendor said, taking the chain that the young man handed to him and replacing it with another, pointing out the matching bracelet. “Then I am the one you seek.”The man made an appreciative noise at the string of crystals. “Very nice, but this would not suit my sister I think… what of that one there?” He said, pointing out a chain from which dangled a solitary gem, which twinkled merrily in the sunlight. Atoki turned, placing the melon he had been examining back on the stall and turned with the intention of leaving. “I seek knowledge on the former companion of the taiyoukai.”Atoki froze in his steps. ‘Former companion….girl…’ “Then come back in two days time and I will tell you what I can.” The vendor said. The boy nodded, made his purchase – a small trinket – and turned to leave, pocketing change as he went. Atoki inhaled, catching the boy’s scent. Continuing on his way, he turned the next corner and circled back, coming out from behind the building and, picking up the man’s scent and following it stealthily. He followed the human through the marketplace, watched as he picked up rice and a drinking skin. After a substantial amount of time, in which he looked at cooking wares, various bits of cloth, jewelry for his sister and various foods, he finally headed off into the woods.‘Finally!’ Atoki, watching as the man casually meandered off and into the tree line. Atoki followed, keeping a careful distance, making sure to stay out of the human’s sensory range.Thus he was very surprised when the human he was tailing landed squarely on his via the tree he was standing behind.‘Wha-?’ Was his only discernable thought before he hit the ground, automatically rolling to dislodge the thing now firmly attached to his back. Successfully dislodging it when he hit the ground – on his back, using sheer mass and brute force to drive the wind from his lungs and loosen the tenacious tentacles that resembled arms – he rolled into a crouch and retrieved a short knife from his boot leg.The human had also used rolled to his feet, obviously not overly disturbed that the demon he had latched onto had tried to crush him, and had also drawn a small knife though unlike the one Atoki carried, it was a throwing knife. Atoki rushed at him just as the human lunged, sending the two males crashing into one another, grappling furiously for dominance. After a time, they broke, leaping back, and panting.“Who the hell are you?” The human ground out. “What right have you to follow me, sneaking through the forest like a thief?”“I am Uuchia Atoki!” Atoki cried, lunging forward once more, catching the other’s oncoming blade in a lock and twisting to release as he swung his fist up into an uppercut towards the other’s jaw.The human twisted back, avoiding the brunt of the blow and issuing a swift kick to the other, who grunted and left back to further assess the situation.“What business have you with me, Uuchia Atoki?” the human said, glaring at him from his place across the clearing. Discreetly he turned his head to the side and spit, and Atoki was satisfied to see that the saliva was red-tinged.“What business have you in the Western Territories?” He shot back.“My business is personal, or no concern to you.” The human replied guardedly. “I disagree.” Atoki snarled. “I heard you in the market place. You seek the girl who travels with the taiyoukai, and that makes it my business.”‘Shit.’ Kohaku swore violently to himself. He had known someone was following him, but he hadn’t known for how long. Longer than he’d guessed, he supposed…Kohaku’s mind raced, trying to figure out what his next move should be. He couldn’t kill the demon; judging by the cut and style of his clothing, he appeared to be someone of importance, who would undoubtedly be missed, not to mention that he was nobility enough to possess a surname. He couldn’t just let him walk away either; the man knew too much, in fact seemed to know something about Rin herself, and that would be dangerous also. He would just have to-“It’s rude to demand someone’s name and not give your own in return.” The demon said, effectively cutting off his train of thought.“My name is Kohaku.” Kohaku replied, noting how the demon had lowered his blade. Not entirely, just enough to show that he wasn’t going to leap at him and try to tear his throat out. Kohaku, crouched as he was across the clearing, lowered his blade very slightly as well.‘Kohaku…’ Atoki mused to himself, filing the name away for later reference and giving a passing thought as to where he might have heard that name before. “What business have you with me?” Kohaku asked warily.“I wish to know why is it you seek information on the Lady Rin.” Atoki said, deliberately tossing Rin’s name out as he sheathed his blade within the bootleg and rose from his crouch. Kohaku shook his head. “The business is personal in nature, and I cannot give that out.”Atoki studied Kohaku for several long moments. ‘Meaning that there’s a very good chance he knows where she is and may have even spoken with her personally. If he’s spoken with her, enough to get a grasp on the situation, then he most likely has heard her view of the situation. Which would undoubtedly explain his need for extreme secrecy.’“I see.” Is what he said aloud. He leaned back against the tree, and crossed his arms across his chest, a mockery of a relaxed stance. Kohaku wasn’t fooled, The deliberately casual way he executed the gesture spoke volumes; he was ready to kill if Kohaku so much as twitched wrong. “The Lady Rin has been gone for some time now,” the General said. “So if you seek you find her here, you are out of luck. And should you seek to do her ill,” He raised a clawed hand, very deliberately contemplating the deadly sharp tips on the end before turning his gaze to the young man and pining his with a chilling blue glare, “you’ll not leave alive.”-------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------A sharp prick in her finger was what brought her awareness back to the here and now. With a wince, Rin stared down at the droplet of ruby blood welling on the tip of her finger.“Rin.” Suzaka sighed wearily, “You’re not paying attention to your work. What ails you child?”The woman in question had the grace to blush as she abashedly eyed the middle-aged woman sitting across from her. Today was her turn to help with mending, and she wasn’t doing an adequate job. ‘Then again, my sewing skills were always lacking…and limited to chain mail and leather…’ Rin thought. “Aaahh..nothing.” Was what she said aloud.The kindly middle-aged warrior gave here a knowing look. “You cannot fool me child. I’ve seen that look far too often.”Rin grinned amiably. “Oh really? Where have you seen my looks before?”Suzaka settled back, gently blowing a wispy strand of silver hair out of her eyes. “I’ve seen that look on every warrior’s face at one point or another. I’ve watched that look on young Kohaku’s face many times, as well as husband’s, son’s and all of his friends faces.” Suzaka paused for a significant moment before continuing. “Wanderlust.”Rin paused in the act of biting off a piece of string. Sighing a little through her teeth, she bit off the string and set her cloth in her lap, considering her companion’s words. It was true, she had been feeling confined as of late. It had remained stubbornly indefinable, no matter how she had tried to analyze the feeling. Finally, she had gotten fed up and just started calling it an itch, but hearing the word said made something click into place. The feeling of being confined. Immobile. Stagnant. In the three months since Keiji’s birth, things had settled down into a pattern. The pattern had been slightly disrupted by Kohaku’s departure, but after about a week, she had adjusted to the new routine. She woke each morning with the sun and started tea. Shortly thereafter, Keiji would start to fuss and she would go in and remove him from the small basket that comprised of his bed. She would change his diaper, feed him and drink her tea, then take him to whomever was watching the children. She would help wherever she was needed until lunch, then go to Keiji and feed him and after, herself. She would cuddle with her baby a bit, return him to the watcher and return to her duties. In the evening she would make a quick supper, usually alight stew, feed herself and Keiji and the two of them would play until he fell asleep. She would put him in his basket, do some sewing or washing, and go to bed, only to arise the next day with the sun and begin again. A few days a week, she would work only a half day, then go into the woods and collect wood, or wash clothes instead of returning to her duties. She and a few of the village women would bathe together, leaving the children home with the husbands, or, in Rin’s case, Miroku would care for Keiji for a bit.On the whole, a very mundane routine. “I feel…stagnant.” Rin admitted lowly. “Hollow. Like something’s missing. Its been a year now since I left Sesshomaru and… it still hurts.” She raised her eyes from the cloth in her lap. “You know what I mean? It shouldn’t hurt, I should be happy and grateful that I have Keiji and the people in the village, Sango and Miroku and Kohaku, and I am. It’s just…” she trailed off, at a loss for words.“Not the same.” Sazaku said, smiling a small, sad smile. “I know child. My husband has been gone for nigh unto fifteen seasons now, and I still miss him terribly.”“Maybe…” Sazaku tapped her forefinger against her upper lip thoughtfully. “Maybe if you took a short journey, it would ease your restlessness. And seeing your family would ease the loneliness.”Rin leaned back thoughtfully.-------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------Sesshomaru leaned back thoughtfully, studying the earnest brown eyes in front of him. There was something the boy was leaving out, but he wasn’t sure what.“So…Rin made it all the way to the exterminator’s new village.” He said, more to himself than to anyone else. That was quite a distance, even by horseback. She must have wanted to get away from his desperately to risk herself that way, and his heart clenched painfully at the thought.‘Rin…did you trust me so little?’He had been nothing short of shocked when Atoki had marched in and demanded and audience. Atoki never demanded and audience, hells, he’d never even asked, at least, not unless he had someone he wasn’t entirely sure of with him. The last time he had done so was when Lord Raidon had visited for the first time, and even then Raidon had marched in and very bluntly asked “Why the hell do I need to ‘request and audience’ with you, pup? I knew you fresh out of the womb, you’d damn well better have a minute for an old friend!”So when Atoki had come marching in, a man on a mission, insisting a moment of Sesshomaru’s time, Sesshomaru had put aside the paperwork and had given him his undivided attention.It was well worth it.Sesshomaru had immediately recognized the young man as the one who, while under Naraku’s control, had threatened Rin’s life repeatedly but in the end had turned against his former master and had assisted in the slaying of the hanyou. Granted, he had grown over the years, but the flat, traumatized look in his eyes was unmistakable.And so they had sat, and Kohaku had told the story of how Inuyasha had brought Rin to the village, so concerned was he for her life. Sesshomaru had been affronted at the implication that e would slay his own mate, but Kohaku had pointed out that no one knew the full situation and with Rin convinced he was hunting her, it was better safe than sorry. Still Sesshomaru seethed. He and Atoki had been to Inuyasha’s village months ago and the hanyou had insisted the they hadn’t seen Rin since the last time he had brought her here, and what was he doing losing his mate anyway? Rather than tell Inuyasha the full story – and how it was his own stupidity that had lost him his mate – he had turned and left, biting out that it was none of his business. Thinking back, he could vaguely recall a disappointed look in his eyes.Apparently he had failed the test.“You will take me to Rin.” Sesshomaru said, knowing that the statement came as more of a command than a request. He fully intended it to; his human would take him to his mate if he had to force his compliance.Kohaku shot him a glare that told him he knew exactly what he was doing. “I will take you to Inuyasha’s village, and there you will wait for me to bring Rin to you.” No way was he going to lead a demon Lord to the demon exterminator’s village. Rin’s mate he may be, but Kohaku didn’t trust him not to pick off some troublesome exterminators on the way out.Sesshomaru’s stance was relaxed, but neither Kohaku nor Atoki were deceived by the pose, they knew for a fact that Sesshomaru was poised and ready to take whatever action he felt “necessary.”“You will take me to Rin.”“I will not.” Kohaku said, the words having more frustration in them than he had intended. “I will bring Rin to a neutral location to meet you.”“And I suppose that once you tell her where she is going and whom she is going to see, that she will be nothing less than pleased to accompany you.” Sesshomaru bit out, feeling his tenuous hold on sanity slipping as the boy spoke. Kohaku sighed. “No, she won’t. She may not necessarily believe you want to hurt her anymore, but she is hurting, and she may not want to come back.” Sesshomaru looked away, pained. Though he knew Rin would be wary of him, it hurt to think that she didn’t even want to see him. “However,” Kohaku continued. “I was just planning on taking her for a vacation to Kagome and Inuyasha’s village, so I thought you could meet us there, and you can talk to her.” He would watch the demon Lord carefully, he decided, and if he got a bad feeling about it, he would arrange for Keiko to take Keiji to the temple, where he would be safe. “Why not simply take us to Rin?” Atoki asked, speaking for the first time in quite a while.“The place where she’s staying is carefully hidden and well guarded.” Kohaku replied. “It is, after all, a demon exterminator’s village and we’re not taking any chances. All routes to and from the village are excessively convoluted and safe passage is known to a very select few.”“Then how do the people needing aid ask?” Atoki queried, curious.“We have small groups of representatives in several villages to handle minor conflicts.” Kohaku replied. “These representatives each know a safe route, and come to us with anything they can’t handle. They also know that to lead a demon to our midst is a veritable death sentence. Not just for them, but most likely us as well.” He left out the fact that Inuyasha’s family was the only ones who weren’t of the exterminator’s clan that was granted unlimited access to their village. Everyone else who came or went was either an exterminator, related to an exterminator, or enlisting aid from an exterminator. Sesshomaru’s lips thinned. The situation was delicate at best. The stubborn gleam in the boy’s eyes was one he recognized from his dealings with Rin, and he knew Kohaku wasn’t about to be pushed any further. It was not agreeable, he wanted to rush straight to Rin’s side and demand to know why she had stayed away so long, but it would have to do. He also knew that he was being evaluated, and should this boy decide he was going to harm his mate, Sesshomaru knew that the boy would not hesitate to lead him to Inuyasha’s village for the sole purpose of removing whatever threat he presented to Rin.Sesshomaru sat forward, mind made up, trying his best not to sigh out his exasperation. “Very well human, we depart day after tomorrow.”-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-Rin tossed restlessly in her sleep. Something was wrong. She could feel it. Tentatively she reached out and mentally felt in the back of her mind for the connection she had very carefully ignored for the past year. The connection had been there for as long as she could remember. Even in her earliest memories she could remember a strange emptiness that had been deep inside her, and a horrible, wrench pain that had terrified her just a few days before she had found him at the base of a tree in the woods, all those years ago. She could still remember the way she had felt; the horrible, too fast fluttering of her heart as it pounded against her ribcage, the agonizing pain in her skull, the shaking and cramping of her limbs as she fought to stay upright. The pain had taken fully half a day to subside, but when it did, it vanished as completely as if it had never been.Three days later she had found him, weak and injured, at the base of the tree.Her attention was pulled away from her thoughts as she felt the connection in the back of her mind; it was weak, like an old string that was about to snap, but it was still there. Cautiously, she traced it back, trying to feel her way along it to Sesshomaru. It had worked before, it had led her to him whenever she was little and lost, it had told her whenever she was hurt or hungry or aggravated as she grew older. Thus she was very surprised when she found her path was totally and thoroughly blocked. The wall had loomed up out of seemingly nowhere, a towering edifice reverberating with fear and pain. Rin didn’t notice it until she hit it, and bounced.Rin’s eyes snapped open. ‘What the hell was that?’ Never, never, in all of her twelve seasons at Sesshomaru’s side had her path to him been blocked! Closing her eyes to help resume her focus, Rin carefully retraced her path back to the wall, and simply sat there, studying the feel of it.‘Pain. Pain and fear…’ The wall was constructed out of these two elements.‘Why didn’t I notice it here before?’ ‘Because you didn’t want to.’ A small voice in the back of her own mind spoke up. Her conscience. Was this, then, what was keeping her from Sesshomaru? Her own mistrust? Resolutely, she pressed into the wall, determined not to be repelled.She wasn’t. Instead, she was swamped with memories, feelings long buried and forgotten. Flashes and images from her childhood, watching random youkai females fawn over her Lord, wishing they would go away. The pain she felt the first time she had heard the rumors of him and Mitsuki in the court, the same pain she had resolutely pushed aside. The wrenching betrayal she felt when those rumors had become stark, unadulterated truth. There had been women, many of them over the years. The dove youkai outside the village when he thought she was asleep, and the way he had come back stinking of her. The deer youkai, two of them if she recalled correctly, that he had taken by the stream, and she had chanced upon them when she was going to get water. Her Lord had never known that she was there, he thought her safely under Jaken’s watchful eye, but she had seen him, and had quickly hurried away. Off the top of her head she could count six females that he had been with on their travels while she was young that she knew of. His affair had been much more sparse while in the fortress, but Mitsuki had remained a steady, constant lover in his life.Each memory sliced through her like a knife’s blade, cutting a little deeper, slicing just a bit further into her. Each scene that flashed before her eyes sought to reinforce the image that she had been nothing but a mistake, her love for him nothing but a nuisance, her devotion nothing but a hindrance, a shame, a source of amusement to an indifferent Demon Lord.“But that’s not how it is.”Rin’s head jerked up. “Who is that?”Sesshomaru’s voice snorted softly. “Silly girl. Who has it always been?”As she pressed further against the wall in front of her she could see that there was someone on the other side. The figure was there, hazy at first, but it grew clearer as she pressed further. ‘Sesshomaru...’He was sitting with his back against the wall, head tilted back, looking at nothing in particular as she had seen him do so many times before. His left knee was bent up and his left arm was draped over it, exactly as she remembered.She laughed bitterly. “Tell me then,” She taunted, “If it isn’t like that, what is it like?”“I never saw you as less,” Sesshomaru said, ignoring the derision in her voice. “Or as a mistake. I may have told others that reviving you was nothing but an experiment, but I was lying. You are as vital to me now as you were then.”“So in other words – not at all.” Rin snapped back.Sesshomaru didn’t even spare her a glance. “Foolish girl. It is unhealthy to lie, especially to yourself.”Rin opened her mouth to retort, but was cut off as Sesshomaru continued on.“Do you remember when you were little and the wandering monks tried to take you with them? You refused to go with them, instead calling out for me over and over as they tried to take you.”Rin refused to reply, but that didn’t faze him.“I had never been more torn in my life then I was at that point, hiding as I was in the trees. The monk stood there, telling you that you were a human and belonged with humans, a point that I had thought of myself, time and again. He told you that a demon would hurt and abandon you, would defile you and you kept telling him over and over that it wasn’t true, that I cared for you and I had saved you.“I could almost have left, could have abandoned you to live amongst the humans, as a human. The monk made some very good points, you were human, and I most certainly was not. I would live for centuries and your light would be extinguished in a few short decades.“But the way you cried... your fear practically manifested it was so apparent. As the monk tried to force you away and you screamed, I realized I could no more leave you behind then I could stop caring for you.”“I remember…” Rin said quietly. “You knocked out all of the monks and told me it was my choice before walking away.” As she grew, she had always remembered that instant where he had emerged from the trees sleek and deadly, to rescue her. He had knocked them all out cold, except for the lead monk, and had turned his large golden eyes on her, coolly telling her that the choice to follow him was hers alone before turning and walking away. At that moment, she had felt truly loved. As she grew older, all she remembered was him leaving, walking away as if he didn’t care one way or another if she followed. The memory had stung, and she had cursed herself as naive. “It would have killed me if you had chosen to stay.”Again, Rin said nothing, simply waiting, and listening.“As you grew older, grew taller and stronger, you became more to me than a child, and it frightened me. My father had mated a human woman, and the other lords had thought him weak. The only one who stood by him was Raidon, even I abandoned him when Inuyasha was conceived. Hanyous were lower than low, disgusting creatures fit only to be killed.”Rin’s heart clenched painfully. What of her baby, the tiny little being that she had worked so hard to bring into the world, was his life worth so little? His big gold eyes and silky silver hair; his soft baby skin and his contagious laughter – was that all fit for nothing but a slaughter?“Do you still feel that way?” She asked, holding her breath.“No.” Sesshomaru said. “But it is a hard thing to let go of, hate. I hated my father when Inuyasha was born and he rushed o his death next to a human woman’s side. I hated that he would muddy the noble blood of our lineage with a human, and conceive a child with her. I hated that he would doom that child to life as an outcast because no one would accept a child that was neither this nor that. And though I watched him when he was little, made sure he survived, I could never find it in me to take him into my home and raise his as a brother.”“Why not?” Rin asked, genuinely curious.“All of my life I had been taught that humans were weak and worthless. Their lives were short – the smallest fraction of ours – and their physical shells could break under even the slightest pressure. Their entire existence was consumed with the struggle to survive, from birth on out. They had to battle first their birth, then sickness and famine as they grew, then each other to survive once they reached adulthood. They did this all only so that they could breed and reproduce, to start the cycle over again.“But I watched Inuyasha as he struggled over the years, and I was secretly amazed at what he achieved. He faced odds that few humans and most demons would have rather died than gone against, and he flourished. For I, who had been taught that their weakness was laughable, this was a revelation.“But still the majority of demons were against the idea. And while I watched and was amazed, I promise myself that I would never be party bringing a hanyou into the world, so they could be ridiculed and hated.”“But times have changed.” Rin reminded him. ‘Demons no longer despise hanyous as they used to.’“True enough,” Sesshomaru agreed, “But that idea was several hundred years in coming, and even now, it is rejected in some circles.”“But you have never cared what others thought.” Rin said. “Not in the time you have known me.” Sesshomaru corrected. “When I was young, it was very different. And as I said, hate is a very difficult emotion to let go of. The change didn’t even start until you joined me.”“But-“ Rin started, only to be cut off as Sesshomaru continued.“But I digress. As I said, my views changed when you joined me; while hanyous were no longer quite as repellent, humans were still disgusting. Why I put up with you at times, I didn’t even know.”“Then why-”“But I watched you grow and mature and once again, I was amazed. You kept yourself clean, you weren’t in a constant struggle. But when it became apparent to me that your remaining with me would put you in danger I ordered Atoki to teach you to defend yourself. “There you amazed me yet again. You proved yourself to be resilient, strong in unexpected ways. You learned everything put forth and clamored for more, while still retaining your pleasant nature and innocence. By the time you were fourteen my youkai was insisting that you were worthy, that I should make sure no other could take you. As we traveled together, things became immeasurably harder, and I was forced to leave you while I patrolled. I would turn to other females to sate whatever it was that raged within me whenever you were near. I hated what you did to me, making me weak and uncontrolled whenever you were near, but I could no more leave you than I could deny what I felt for you.”“Then why did you cheat on me once we were mated?” Rin snapped, trying to quell the rising feelings of warmth that bubbled in her breast.“I didn’t.”“I saw you! You told me that I was worthless, a mistake, that I was a toy!” Rin screamed.“I know what you saw.“ Sesshomaru retorted, “and I know it was false. Alina’s general, Kenji, is an inu-youkai capable of changing his image. He can look like whomever he pleases. The only thing he cannot replicate is his scent.”“How convenient.” Rin quipped.Sesshomaru turned to face her for the first time, his face contorted in fury. “You foolish little girl! I confess to you, bare my heart to you, explain myself to you and still you doubt me! I know my being with other women in the past hurt you. I offer no apologies or excuses; what’s done is done, and I cannot change it. But you doubt me, question me, force me to bare my soul to your examination, and throw it back in my face! I may have hurt you, but it was never intentional. In fact, I took great measure to make sure I wouldn’t hurt you! Yet when something frightened you, you ran! You abandoned your faith in me and instead of approaching me and trying to work things out, you left! Have you so little trust in me?”Inside her mind, Rin froze. Was is true? Was it not she alone who had suffered this past year? Had Sesshomaru been just as hurt, just as betrayed as she? …I don’t trust him. Rin realized. I’ve been watching him run around with other women so long I never once considered why he was doing it. “Rin,” Sesshomaru said quietly, breaking into her thoughts, “You are my mate. I’m..” he paused, cleared his throat before continuing. “I’m sorry if you’re not happy with that. But I…I don’t regret it.” With a sigh, he moved to stand.“Sesshomaru!” Rin cried, trying to reach him, but it was too late.He was gone.-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=--=-=-=-==-=-Sesshomaru bolted upright as the sun crested the horizon. He couldn’t even remember falling asleep, but he was glad he had. The dream had been odd, to say the least, but it was nice to finally get a full night’s rest – he hadn’t had one in a very long time. Below him, the human moved about, humming a little tune, banking the coals from last night’s fire and placing some water over the pit to warm and boil. “Human,” Sesshomaru said, looking down from where he sat on the wide branch of the tree they had camped under.“Mmmh?” Kohaku asked as he stirred the rice into the water. Glancing up, he saw Lord Sesshomaru was on a branch above him, his leg stretched out in front of him, carefully not looking in his direction. “What was that tune you were humming?” Sesshomaru asked. Kohaku thought for a moment. What had he been humming…? Then it struck him; he had been humming the same tune that Rin sang so often when she was making breakfast, cleaning, sewing, or doing any number of things. He had, in fact, heard her sing the song itself to Keiji multiple times…“It’s a tune that I’ve heard many times.” He responded. In the week they had been traveling together, Kohaku had become acquainted with some of the side-effects of an over-strained soul bond. Sesshomaru was irritable – more so than usual – Atoki said, due to the fact that he rarely slept. Other things that Atoki hadn’t mentioned, but became readily apparent to Kohaku was that Lore Sesshomaru was not quite the demon he used to be. He seemed….off-kilter. Like a man missing a limb, he appeared subtly off-balance.‘He seems more clear-eyes today though.’ Kohaku noted, sighing. They would reach Inuyasha’s village today, after a week of traveling. From there, he would leave for Sango’s home, which was a three-day ride, spend a couple days convincing Rin she wanted to go visit Kagome and Inuyasha, then the two of them would set off for Inuyasha’s village. Well, that was the plan anyway. Plans, as he very well knew, had a sad tendency to go drastically awry. ‘I don’t even have the most difficult part.’ Kohaku thought wryly. ‘Sesshomaru still has to convince Rin that he loves her and doesn’t want to hurt her or shame her. And she’s not going to be any more malleable because of Keiji; if anything she’s going to be more obstinate!’A rattle of logs next to him alerted him to the fact that Atoki was back, done cleaning up at the stream and had thought to pick up some firewood on the way back to camp.“Thanks.” Kohaku said, reaching over and snagging a piece to put under the fire.The three of them remained silent throughout breakfast, and the cleaning of the camp, each lost in their own thoughts as they set off towards the village, where Kohaku would leave them and continue n his way.‘Here’s hoping..’ Kohaku thought as they set off into the rising sun.-==-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=--=-“Mou , what a day!” Kagome said, wiping a dirty hand across her forehead as she leaned back on her heels. Rin sighed and followed suit, arching her back and stretching. The two of them had been out collecting herbs since just after daybreak, and it was mid-day now. A small giggle sounded from above them and an apple fell into the soft grass next to Kagome. Rin glanced up, then grinned at what she saw. Kimi was hanging upside down from a tree branch above them. Her long silver hair shone in the light, her blue eyes sparkled, and her ear-to-ear grin was nothing short of infectious. Laughing at her mother’s surprised face, Kimi tossed another apple down.“There, now you each have one.” She proclaimed around a mouthful of fruit. “Tch.” Mai said, looking up from her work a ways away. “Kimi. Can’t you be a proper young lady for once?” “’Proper’ is overrated.” Kimi retorted. “And no fun to boot. Besides,” She added as an after-thought, “I can be proper. You’re just prissy.”Mai looked indignant. “I am not prissy.” She fumed. “Just because I can pretend to be a real young lady instead of some half-tamed little heathen who-““Mai.” Kagome cut her off. “Enough.” Mai’s mouth snapped closed and she shot her sister a glare that promised trouble later. Keiji chose that moment to squeal and Rin turned to see him reaching for a bug the had crawled precariously close to his grasp.“No baby,” Rin said, grabbing his hand and directing it to the piece of wood she had given him to play with. Keiji promptly threw down the wood and glared up at her, his little lips pursing in a pout. At three months old, Keiji was growing fast, as fast as a hanyou, Inuyasha had said after watching him for a little bit. Keiji was already sitting, albeit precariously, and trying to eat solid food as well. Everything he could get his hands on went in his mouth, bar none.‘And that includes insects as well.’ Rin thought as her son took another swipe at the insect, which had realized the danger and was now furiously trying to get away from it. Rin pushed his hand aside again and Keiji glared back up at her, his pout showing every sign of turning into a full-fledged tantrum if he didn’t get his way.“Uh-oh,” Rin said, picking up her son, who promptly nuzzled his head into her shoulder as he whimpered. “Looks like somebody needs a nap.”“And fed as well.” Kagome observed, picking up the herbs they had gathered and placing them in a basket. “Why don’t you go take him down to the stream, and take a bath as well? A refreshing swim ought to do you both some good.”“That sounds marvelous,” Rin agreed, picking up the apple Kimi had tossed her and preparing to rise.“I wanna go too!” Kimi cried jubilantly as she leapt down from her perch in the tree, flipping over gracefully as she did so and landing soundlessly on her feet.‘How does she do that?’ Rin wondered absently when Kagome’s voice interrupted her musings.“I think not, young lady.” Kagome said rising. “You still have your letters to complete.”“But moooommm!” Kimi whimpered, her ears flattening close to her head, “I did those yesterday!”“Um-hmm.” Kagome agreed absently as she started off. “And you’ll do them every day until you get them right.”Mai, who had gathered her herbs and was walking along with her mother and sister leaned back and stuck her tongue out at her sister behind her mother’s back. Kimi in turn leaned back and glared at her, flashing fangs as her ears pressed closer to her skull.Rin laughed a little and Kagome glanced back at her, rolling her eyes and grinning, fully aware of her children’s antics. Still chuckling to herself as Kagome turned the corner and disappeared, Rin turned and headed towards the stream.A swim sounded really good.-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-“Mama, why can’t I go swimming with Rin?” Kimi pleaded, blue eyes beseeching as she slipped her hand into her mother’s.“Because you need to learn your letters, and Rin needs some time to herself.” Kagome responded serenely, her head tilted back as she felt the warm sun on her face.“But she’s not by herself; Keiji’s with her too.” Kimi pointed out petulantly. “He’ll be asleep soon enough.” Kagome responded, lifting a warning finger as her daughter opened her mouth to press the issue. “Let it be.”‘She is indeed her father’s daughter.’ Kagome mused as Kimi’s expression reverted into what had ominously been dubbed “The Pout” years ago. As they crested the hill leading to the village, a chill skittered down Kagome’s spine.“Mama,” Kimi said almost simultaneously, her voice no longer pouting and resentful, but alert and wary. “Mama, something’s wrong.”“What are you talking about Kimi nothing’s… oh my goodness…” Mai’s voice trailed off as they came closer to the village. “There’s a two-headed dragon down there…”Dropping Kimi’s hand, Kagome took off at a run, the ends of her yukata flapping wildly as she sprinted towards her home. ‘Oh Kami oh Kami oh Kami oh Kami…’ Whatever it was, she knew Inuyasha was involved in it; Inuyasha was always involved in it. Sure enough, she skidded around the corner to find her husband face-to-face with his elder brother, with Kohaku and another demon standing off in the background, and looking none to happy about the fact.‘Surly.’ Some far-off corner of Kagome’s mind thought, ‘He looks surly.’ “What do you want Sesshomaru?” Inuyasha growled, not sparing Kagome a glance. “It is none of your business.” Sesshomaru responded coolly. “All you need to know is that I will be in the local area for a little while.”“Bullshit.” Inuyasha spat, cutting off Kohaku, who had opened his mouth to undoubtedly inject a phrase. Kagome, however, saw straight through her husband’s obstinate attitude and knew that he wasn’t upset because Sesshomaru was there, but was afraid for Rin and Keiji’s safety. ‘Why did Sesshomaru have to show up now?’ Kagome cried internally. “If you’re here, in my territory, then I have every reason to know why you’re here.” Inuyasha continued. Sesshomaru’s eyes hardened as he stood up straighter, looming over Inuyasha, and Inuyasha growled in response to the unconscious intimidation act on Sesshomaru’s part.“Sesshomaru,” Kagome said, ignoring her mate’s silent signals for her to stay away and stepping up to the two, “Perhaps it would be best to simply tell us your reason for being here. If your reason presents a threat to the village, then Inuyasha needs to know.”“My reason will bring no threat to your family or your village.” Sesshomaru said, backing down slightly and turning to face what was obviously the more cooperative of the duo. Out of his eye he watched two come running around the corner of the hut, practically falling on one another in their haste to stop. They looked little alike – one was almost entirely human looking, the only thing that signified her youkai heritage being a silver streak in her temple, while the other was clearly a hanyou, and furthermore, was clearly Inuyasha’s child. She looked almost exactly like him, except for the fact that she was female and, where Inuyasha’s eyes were amber, this child had eyes of the most arresting electric blue he had ever seen.‘Where did those come from?’ He vaguely wondered as the girl froze, her eyes narrowing as she studied him intently. “So, if you would please tell us why you’re here…?” Kagome asked leadingly, seeing Sesshomaru’s attention wandering to her children.“Kohaku asked us to remain here while he fetched Rin.” Sesshomaru said suddenly, watching out of the corner of his eye as the girl, who had remained unmoving since her eyes rested on him before, froze into a predatory stillness, her examination taking on a whole new level of scrutiny.Inuyasha, too, froze into stillness. “Why,” he growled low in his throat, “would he do that?”Again, Kohaku opened his mouth to speak and again Sesshomaru cut him off, voice snapping through the air like a whip.“Why did you tell me that you didn’t know where Rin was?” Sesshomaru responded.“You didn’t need to know.” Inuyasha shot back.Sesshomaru moved, and in a blur of motion, Inuyasha was against a wall. “You had no right to make that call.” Sesshomaru seethed, his eyes narrowed in rage and his youki flowering up and out like a tidal wave. Sesshomaru opened his mouth, and what his intentions were he knew not, but a small growl was his only warning before something small and solid hit his back with a surprising amount of force.“Let him go!” Kimi screamed. “You asshole let him go now!”“Kimi!” Kagome screamed in the background.“Kimi!” Inuyasha said, commanding his daughter to desist. Kimi ignored them both and Sesshomaru felt small fangs sink into the silk of his haori as miniature claws tore at the sleeves and shoulders. Twisting around in an attempt to dislodge what he now considered to be a particularly vicious little thing from his back, Sesshomaru grabbed Kimi and pulled her in front of him, wrapping his arms around her torso to secure her claws.“Quiet!” He hissed to the squirming child. “I meant no harm to your father.”Kimi stopped struggling and jerked her had back to glare angrily into his eyes. “Liar!” She snarled. “I know you, Uncle. You tried to kill Otou when he was little, and Okaa when she was young. Aunt Rin loved you, and you turned your back on her for another woman!”“You know nothing.” Sesshomaru hissed. “I know enough.” Kimi shot back, then lowered her voice and said low, “You’re not worthy of her.”“You’re right, I’m not.” Sesshomaru replied, “but I deserve to hear it from her lips.”Kimi studied him intently, and for a minute Sesshomaru thought himself to be mad. Why was he confessing this to a four year old? Surely she wasn’t old enough to understand… But even as he watched, Kimi’s eyes, those deep, sapphire eyes which seemed to be lit up from some internal light, flashed. In that split second, amber bubbles rose up from their depths, and broke the surface to cover the irises in deepest citrine. Sesshomaru blinked in surprise and just like that, it was gone.‘I am going mad…’“I want your word you won’t hurt her.” Kimi said, drawing him out of his reverie.“My word.” He agreed.“She’s bathing in the river, south of the Goshinkobu.”Putting the girl down, Sesshomaru took off, leaving his thoroughly confused companions behind.-=-=-=-=-=--=-=-=-=-=-=-=-It was hot outside, and Rin was very glad of the cool comfort the water afforded. Stripping down to the skin, she and Keiji played around for a little bit, she mostly holding him above the water and allowing him to kick at it with his chubby baby legs and squeal in delight.‘Hanyou…’ Sesshomaru’s words to her last night in her dream had come back to haunt her time and again as she watched Keiji splash in the water, screaming happily the whole time.‘That didn’t feel like it was just a dream..’ She thought absently as she placed the worn out little boy on a small blanket she had spread out under a nearby tree. The tree was huge and old, with limbs spreading far and wide over the area. Roots protruded out from the ground, a testament to its age and strength, that not even the continuous flooding of rainy seasons could overwhelm it and make it flounder. The roots also created a secluded and shaded spot for her baby to lie in and nap as she bathed, Rin thought as she slipped out of her kimono and into the stream.‘Am I really so fickle, that I trusted him so little?’ She wondered to herself, then glanced back at her sleeping baby.‘He deserves to know…’ She thought to herself, and in that moment, she didn’t know if she was referring to Sesshomaru or Keiji. Certainly Keiji would have questions as he grew, and she didn’t want him to go haring off to his death should Sesshomaru reject him. And Sesshomaru deserved a chance to explain himself…no matter how much it hurt to hear it. He didn’t have to know about Keiji until she knew his stance on hanyous, but he at least deserved to explain his actions.‘I’ll go after Keiji’s weaned.’ She decided. She had toyed with the idea periodically over the months, even while pregnant, when the loneliness was too great, of returning to Sesshomaru and hoping for the best… it had hurt unbearably to be without him, but the thought of what he had done and said to her, and what he might do to her unborn child had stayed her when nothing else would have. Rin sighed, lathering up her body with the sweetly scented soap Kagome brought back from her time. Weak. It was weak to return to a man who used you and betrayed you with another woman; had their situations been reversed she could have had him executed on the spot, with no questions asked. But since she was a woman, she was expected to take it as a matter of course. “Women are like flowers,” Jaken had once told her, when she had asked why Sesshomaru-sama would smell like so many females, “and men are like bees; they flit from one to another giving nectar, so that there can be more flowers. The flowers do not complain because this is how things are supposed to be.” ‘Well I don’t accept that!’ Rin thought defiantly to herself. ’If I am expected to remain with one individual, should not he as well? Kagome and Inuyasha are content with one another, as do Miroku ad Sango. Inuyasha and Miroku do not accept other women into their beds and all are happier for it; why can I not have that happiness?’ ‘Not that you can really go back anyway.’ A more cynical piece of her mind taunted. ‘If you show up at his front door he is fully within rights to have you slain immediately.’Still, she would go and see what there was to see, and if she emerged alive, she and Keiji would both be better for it…Taking a deep breath, Rin sunk into the water to rinse away the dirt.-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-==-=-=-=--=-=-=-At first he couldn’t see her as anything more than a glimmer of movement underneath the water, but he could smell her sweet scent permeating the clearing. Another scent was mixed in, but he paid it no mind, focused solely on the scent of rainwater and the essential, vital scent he associated with Rin. He descended to the ground, dispersing his kumo-san as his feet touched the ground and had to force himself to stop, rather than dive straight into the river after her. Instead he forced himself to stop and wait for her to emerge and see him. No use finding his mate if he was just going to frighten her to death.When she finally emerged from the river, she didn’t see him straight away, which was okay with him, since it gave him time to study her. She surged upward from the river‘s shallows, illuminated in the afternoon light as water droplets sparkled around her frame. Her head was tilted back and her eyes were tightly closed as water ran in rivulets down her frame.His eyes immediately flew to her ears, slightly pointed, no longer rounded like a humans. The second thing he noticed was the jade crescent on her forehead, marking her as a Western Lady.A swell of pride rose in his chest at the sight of her; she was strong and healthy, a beautiful demoness of the highest caliber….It was then that she turned, opening her eyes as she saw him. And it was then that everything went downhill.Where he had expected her to react as a human would, had in fact braced himself for the shrill scream that would issue from her throat, the fear in her scent as she lunged either towards or away from him. Of all the reactions he anticipated, the only one her received was the stark fear in her scent. Instead of screaming and lunging, she froze into utter stillness, her hands suspended halfway down her torso, her mouth partially open in a small gasp. The only thing that actually moved was her eyes, widening and rounding until the whites were visible the entire way around. “Sesshomaru…” She breathed.“Rin.” He responded. In truth he felt unable to move, half believing that this was a cruel trick being played on him by his mind, and if her stirred now the delicate fantasy would shatter and he would be alone again.Slowly, very slowly, she seemed to relax. Her arms unfroze and continued their descent towards her thighs, stopping just short of total relaxation. Her lungs seemed to unfreeze and she began breathing again. Her eyes were still wide in a half-panic though, and Sesshomaru wasn’t fooled by her relaxed stance. Her muscles were still taut and ready for action should he make a single unsavory movement, and he knew she wouldn’t hesitate to attack.“How did you find me?” She asked, ever word, ever syllable, carefully measured and weighed before it left her lips.“Rin…” He said his voice coming out rather rougher than he would have liked. Clearing his throat, he tried again. “Rin it’s a very long story. Come out of the water and let’s talk.”Slowly she edged out the water, her eyes never leaving him, her mind racing. ‘Oh Kami…Keiji. What if he hurts Keiji? What if he hurts my baby!’ Her mind was tinged with a red haze of panic as she tried frantically to keep from looking at Keiji, wanting to reassure herself that he was healthy and sleeping peacefully on his blanket, wanting to make sure he was alright.That he wasn’t dead.Slowly, slowly, she edged out of the water and over to her yukata. Reaching down, she tore it aside and grabbed the sword hidden underneath, drawing it from the sheath and tossing it down as she moved to stand over Keiji. All of this was done in one smooth movement and she stood over Keiji, legs crouched and braced for battle, in a heartbeat as Sesshomaru surveyed her actions.He had been surprised to say the least when she had thrown aside her kimono and drawn a sword. He had been even more surprised when, instead of lunging for him, she lunged to the side, bracing herself over the trees roots.‘What good will that position do her?’ He wondered, ‘That is the most defensively unsound position I’ve seen in a long time.’ The look in her eyes, however, suggested that she had not chosen that position for its defensive capabilities.It was then that he saw it - the small square of red blanket that lay behind her and between her splayed legs. For one small point in time, Sesshomaru would have sworn that the world very simply tilted. He could find no other way to describe the way everything seemed to quite simply stop. His breath froze in his lungs and his heart seemed to pause before resuming its rhythm with a resounding thud. The wind died as the sound of his blood rushing through his ears overwhelmed all else.There was a baby, no more than a few months old, laying behind her, sleeping peacefully as Rin stood over it, completely ready to kill.‘Oh God…’“Rin…” He said, the word hitching in his throat as his head spun.“Swear to me!” She screamed, her eyes wide and frightened as she faced him. “Swear to me you won’t harm him!”‘Rin…?’ “I promise.” Sesshomaru said, still shocked at the implications.“Your word.” She insisted. “You have it.” Sesshomaru growled, beginning to get annoyed. “Now sit down and talk to me.” Stalking over to where her yukata lay he snatched it up and tossed it to her, aiming so it landed at her feet rather than on her.To his consternation, she eyed him warily for a moment before planting her sword in the ground in front of her and snatching up the garment, hastily donning it before folding her legs beneath her and sinking to the ground. Sesshomaru was mollified by the show of trust, but noted that she remained in front of the child, hiding him from view.“Rin, what happened?”“After I saw you with…her,” Rin seemed to trip over the word, “I left. I wandered aimlessly for a while, eventually coming to Inuyasha’s village. I would have stayed here, but you were hunting me. I don’t know I knew you were, but I did….and I thought you meant to hurt me as well.”She took a deep breath, then continued. “Inuyasha thought that you would certainly come looking here, so we left and he took me someplace else, where he knew I would be safe.”“The demon exterminator’s village.” Sesshomaru injected, and Rin looked up in surprise.“How did you-“ She started, eyes narrowing in suspicion, but Sesshomaru cut her off.“That’s not important right now.” He said as he sat down across from her. He wanted to get to the heart of the matter, and get this sorted out so they could move on with their lives. “Rin, why did you not return to the fortress?”“I…I was afraid.” She said, eyes darkening in remembrance. “The things you said…they were terrible. And…I was afraid they were true. You’d been with so many others, how was I to know weather I was another toy for you or not? And then when you said…those things, it all fell into place. So I left.”“But why did you not come back?” Sesshomaru persisted. “I looked for you, everywhere I could think of. We followed you for nearly two moons before we lost your trail up North. Eventually I went to Inuyasha’s village, thinking you would be there, but Inuyasha told me that you had never come.”“At first I didn’t return because I was afraid for myself.” Rin said. “I could feel you perusing me, and I was shocked at what you had done…I thought that you loved me…” Rin broke off, staring at the ground as red suffused her cheeks.Keiji chose that moment to wake from his nap and started fussing behind her. Sensing no malice or ill-will from Sesshomaru, Rin turned and picked up her son, wishing there was an easier way to do things. Keiji however, seemed to be content to be held, and started dozing off again almost immediately. “But then..” Rin stopped again, emotions choking her, and cleared her throat before continuing. “Then I found out I was pregnant and things were no longer about me. I knew how you felt about hanyous – I watched you peruse Inuyasha time and again over the years, and you didn’t stop until you had to in order to defeat Naraku. Even now the two of you can’t be near one another without fighting. I had thought,” She paused, gathering her courage, “that you might hurt Keiji as well, because he was a hanyou…”She trailed off, watching Keiji as he slept peacefully in her arms, content in the knowledge that she was his mother and would not place him in harm’s way.‘But I have baby,’ She thought sadly. ‘I don’t know what to do anymore…all I can do is hope I’m right.’“Rin.” Sesshomaru said, and when she looked up, he was no longer looking at her, but at the ground a little ways off from her. “That was not me you saw. Alina…her general, Kenji, is a shape-shifter. She used him to try and frighten you away, hoping I would accept her.”Rin looked up, startled, staring at him with wide, hopeful eyes. ‘Please…’“In demon society, it is...” Sesshomaru paused, trying to find words. Matters of the heart was not his usual playing ground, and he stumbled in an effort to appeal to a woman who was ruled by hers. “Perfectly acceptable to court a mate, and acceptable to try and fend off competition. That is what she was doing with you. Not just then, but what you saw before that, it was her planting doubts in your mind, and preying off of them.”“How do you know-“ Rin started, but Sesshomaru cut her off.“What she did? Because when she…exploited Kenji’s abilities that day, to the point of having him threaten you, she overstepped her bounds.” Sesshomaru held up a clawed hand to stay the words he knew she would speak. “It is acceptable to interfere with a courting couple, but once they are actually mated, one must desist. She did not. When you ran by Atoki that day, crying, he followed your tears and saw them. He captured them, and brought them to me, and together we found out what they had been doing.”“Rin..” He took a deep breath, gathering himself, trying to keep at bay the guilt he felt. “Rin..I’m sorry. I swore to protect you, to keep you from harm, to keep you safe and happy and I…I failed.”
“Sesshomaru…” Rin’s eyes welled up with tears and she had to fight not to sob, “There’s nothing to forgive. I should have trusted you more, and I didn’t. For that I also apologize…”“You had cause to be upset.” Sesshomaru said, trying to keep his tone smooth and analytical. His mate had forgiven him! He could feel their bond opening up once more, and her relief flowed through to him, gave him the courage to speak freely with her. “I know I have had a hard time accepting that I could love a human…but I do. And I know you have know my attitudes towards hanyous, so I cannot fault you your caution.”Rin opened her mouth to speak and he cut her off once more.“I only wish that the past can be undone. However, it cannot, and…I will respect your wishes if you desire to dissolve the relationship. I have not proven myself as a mate to you, and I have little to offer in the way of compensation for your pain except my word that I do love you, and that I can accept our children, even as hanyous, and will love them no less for it.”“I’m sorry too.” Rin said, the tears she had been fighting for the past few minutes overflowing and streaming silently down her cheeks. “I would have come back, was going to once Keiji was weaned and I was sure I could leave him alone. It…it hurt, more than I can possibly explain, to be without you, and I don’t want to do that ever again.” She took a deep breath. “No, I don’t want to dissolve the relationship…I love you.” She said, the very last words coming out in a strangled whisper. In her arms Keiji whimpered, and when she looked down at him, big amber eyes stared back up at her in worry as a small fist reached up and grasped onto the edge of her kimono.“I love you too Rin.” Sesshomaru said, the weight on his chest lifting as he said the words. “Please…come home.”Tears still streaming down her cheeks, Rin laughed. It was a small, giddy sound, full of relief and a sort of desperate hope. Things were not perfect between them, and they would not be for a long time. They had much ground to make up for, and a lot of time lost to them. But still….they had a beginning, and strength, and a shared love. And that was enough. They would have to work, but it could be done, and both of them would come out stronger for it.“I will.” She said, smiling at her mate. “I will come home. But first…come meet your son.” And to put it quite simply….The End.