InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Suppression ❯ Chapter 15 ( Chapter 15 )

Chapter 15

 

“Can we go too?” Shippou asked when Inuyasha turned to leave, wanting to accompany the dog demon as he checked for his brother's return. Kagome was standing beside the kit with a smile, hoping that she too might get to go.

 

“I guess so,” Inuyasha returned a bit sourly. He wanted to get a chance to see his brother by himself, but since it was afternoon, they wouldn't get a chance to be alone until the evening anyways. That too was contingent upon whether or not his sibling was even back.

 

Kagome grabbed Inuyasha's hand and gave him a big smile. He couldn't help but smile back at her cheerfulness. “Come on, Inuyasha. Shippou just misses Rin,” she winked.

 

The kitsune turned beet red. “I do not,” he replied defiantly, which only caused Kagome to giggle at him and Inuyasha to roll his eyes.

 

“Sure, sure,” the hanyou teased as they walked down the road. He didn't let go of Kagome's hand until they got closer to his brother's camp.

 

Sesshoumaru turned his regal head to look down the path as soon as he heard the unmistakable voice of his brother.

 

“Do so,” Inuyasha stated yet again, still using that sing-songy voice that was driving Shippou crazy.

 

“Do not,” yelped the kitsune using the same reply he had been giving since they left to go to Sesshoumaru's camp.

 

Kagome's cheerfulness was now somewhat abated. She was sure she was going to have a huge headache and hoped she had remembered to pack her Tylenol. “Oh,” the teen girl uttered in surprise, causing Inuyasha and Shippou to stop their infantile argument.

 

One group of three looked in surprise at the other group of four. “Who's that?” Shippou whispered, staring at the lovely wolf demon that was standing beside the demon lord. Inuyasha narrowed his eyes; he wanted to know the answer to that as well.

 

“Inuyasha,” Sesshoumaru greeted, his eyes lighting up at seeing his brother. Quickly, he controlled his features as he noticed the other two members of his sibling's group staring at him in curiosity. In an attempt to cover the silence, the demon lord decided that some introductions were in order. “This is Shorai. Shorai, this is my brother, Inuyasha.”

 

“Pleased to meet you,” the wolf demoness stated as she bowed. A hanyou brother? This Sesshoumaru is just full of surprises, she thought.

 

“Hi,” the hanyou returned, feeling a bit weird at having someone bow to him. “This is Kagome and Shippou,” he told her when she straightened.

 

Kagome gave the wolf girl a smile and a wave, Shippou gave a small, polite bow.

 

“Shippou,” Rin cried out, happy to see her friend. “Can we go play, Sesshoumaru-sama?” the small girl asked as she started to dance in a circle.

 

The demon lord nodded, prompting the two to dash off to an adult free location. Shippou pulled out the inks and brushes he had brought with him to show them to the small human. It wasn't long before the two smaller members of the group were happily coloring and chatting away.

 

Sesshoumaru watched the two with a thoughtful look on his face. “We may have things to discuss in the future,” he told his brother.

 

Inuyasha looked at him quizzically. “Huh?” he asked.

 

“Nevermind for now,” Sesshoumaru returned, realizing his brother's confusion. Kagome looked quizzically at the taiyoukai and then at the kids before understanding dawned on her.

 

Shorai had a huge grin on her face as the teen miko caught her eye. She had figured out what Sesshoumaru had been thinking as well. ~So he's a matchmaker as well, the wolf thought. I'm just finding out all sorts of interesting things about this demon. I think I'm beginning to really like this guy.~

 

The group went and sat at the camp. Jaken, off from the rest, kept an eye on the two youngsters, trying as hard as he could to look displeased with his duty.

 

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“Sesshoumaru?” Inuyasha questioned his brother as they sat together on the hill that evening, finally able to get some time alone.

 

“Ummm?”

 

“Who is that wolf?” Inuyasha had chased the uncertainty he felt from his voice, but his ears betrayed him by splaying backwards.

 

“You know who she is, I introduced you earlier today,” Sesshoumaru returned. He had suspected this day might come, but for whatever reason, he had never made any preparations for it. ~How very unlike me,~ he mused.

 

“That's not what I meant and you know it,” Inuyasha grumbled as he began to frown. They had been sitting out here for almost an hour both making small talk. Sesshoumaru seemed a bit standoffish and the hanyou was beginning to feel awkward.

 

“Jealous?” Sesshoumaru smirked, trying to joke his way out of answering the question.

 

“No………maybe,” the hanyou returned. He stood and looked down on his brother, forcing the taiyoukai to stare at him head on. “Why is she with you?”

 

“Rin likes her,” Sesshoumaru answered after a slight hesitation.

 

“That's it? The hanyou's head swam with a million emotions, but he could not name a single one. “You let her follow you around because Rin likes her?” Inuyasha growled out. It was as if the hanyou didn't believe what his brother was saying. He had noticed that pause before his sibling had answered him. Worry began to nibble at the back of his mind and heart, filling that silent space with a thousand unspoken words.

 

“Inuyasha, this is our first time alone together in over a week, why spoil it by fighting?” Sesshoumaru pleaded as he continued to sit on the ground, looking up at his hanyou brother.

 

“Do you love me, Sesshoumaru?” Inuyasha asked instead. He looked out over the hill they had been sitting on waiting for his brother to answer him, the breeze gently blowing his hair. In fact, on this night, Inuyasha had never looked so breathtaking with the hidden fires pooling behind his eyes.

 

~Kami-sama,~ the demon thought. ~This is going to hurt him, but I cannot live with him. I cannot damage him the way I was.~

 

“How do you want me to answer that?” Sesshoumaru sighed. The week away from Inuyasha had given him time to think about his life, about what he truly wanted now and the addition of the ookami to his small group had helped him to make up his mind. He had hoped that he would have had more time to prepare himself and his brother for what he knew he was going to have to do. ~I am foolish for thinking you would have patience in matters of the heart, brother.~

 

“I do not think you are going to like my answer to that question,” the demon lord said carefully.

 

Inuyasha sat on the ground beside his sibling again. “Do you love that wolf?” he asked quietly, picking at the grass in front of him.

 

Again there was a slight hesitation. Inuyasha could see the worry in Sesshoumaru's mind as he tried to knit together a response that would satisfy both of them. “No, I do not love her. I have only just met her.”

 

“But you'd like to get to know her better,” Inuyasha proclaimed a bit jealously. He was frowning now and pulling the grass out in clumps.

 

Sesshoumaru took Inuyasha's hand and squeezed it to stop him from destroying the landscape. The hanyou jolted forward in surprise at first, but then met his brother's eyes in a transfixed wide-eyed emotion.

 

“Let me ask you…do you think I deserve to be happy?” Sesshoumaru queried.

 

“Yes, of course. Why would you ask something like that?” Inuyasha fought to control the beast that was now churning somersaults inside of him.

 

“Even if I am happy with someone else…someone other than you?” Sesshoumaru grabbed the half demon's chin to be sure Inuyasha was looking at him, so he could read the expressions on his younger brother's face.

 

Inuyasha looked into his brother's golden eyes not knowing what to say. He really did love his brother and wanted to be with him. He wanted more than just these lover's trysts they had, but whenever he had pressed for a stronger commitment in their relationship, Sesshoumaru had backed off. It was frustrating. It was if the more he got to know his demon sibling, the larger the enigma that was Sesshoumaru grew.

 

“Inuyasha, I would like to get to know Shorai better. I will be frank with you. I like her.”

 

“What about us? Did all this mean nothing to you?” Inuyasha questioned a bit angrily. He slapped Sesshoumaru's hand from his face, but the older inu just pulled him closer.

 

“What we have is special to me and I will always treasure the time we've spent together…and you. You have done what you said you would, you have saved me.” Sesshoumaru ran his hand gently over his brother's cheek. “You have taught me what love is, but I do not wish to continue being your lover.”

 

Inuyasha looked at his brother in shock. He had not been expecting this at all. “You…you're leaving me?” the hanyou stammered.

 

“What we are doing is not good for either of us,” Sesshoumaru tried to explain. “I know you have strong feelings towards the miko girl, as she has them for you. One only has to watch the two of you together to see that.”

 

Inuyasha tried to deny it, but his brother cut him off. “Inuyasha, do not lie to yourself. It is plain for all to see that you care for that girl. If we continue, one day you will regret being with me, you will resent me because you should have been with her,” he hissed. He hated to use such tones with his brother, but their relationship always had and always would carry currents of conflict.

 

“That's not true…” Inuyasha started to say.

 

Sesshoumaru frowned at his younger sibling. “Then, shall I become like father and shall you turn into me?” the demon asked furiously.

 

Inuyasha looked away, his lower lip quivering. The demon lord's voice and eyes softened, “I do not wish that for you, brother. You deserve better.” ~I cannot treat you as father treated me.~ “Do you not think that I should have a chance at a normal relationship?” Sesshoumaru continued gently. “I have only been with two beings in my entire lifetime, father and you. I want more than an incestuous affair that can only end in heartache. I want children, grandchildren and a mate that will not one day regret what has passed and yearn for what might have been. Do I not deserve that?”

 

“Sesshoumaru, I couldn't stand it if you weren't with me,” Inuyasha replied, hanging his head.

 

“I will not abandon you. I will always be your brother, otouto. I will always be there for you.” Sesshoumaru hugged his arm around the hanyou, pulling him closer. “But we cannot continue this.”

 

The demon lowered his voice and spoke gently into Inuyasha's ear. “Take Kagome as your mate. Fate has put her in your life for a reason; do not toss her aside so easily. Give me nieces and nephews to spoil. Live a good life. That will make me happy as well.”

 

“Niisan,” Inuyasha whispered as tears began to sting his eyes. He lowered his head into his brother's chest so the demon wouldn't see.

 

Sesshoumaru lifted his brother's face and gently used a clawed finger to wipe away the wetness at the corner of his sibling's eye. “We have come a long way from where we were, but we have gone from one extreme to the other. Perhaps we should meet in the middle as brothers and friends.”

 

Inuyasha nodded his head. He wanted his brother to be happy, to have a normal life, something Sesshoumaru had never had. He also knew that his sibling was right. He always did have an affection for Kagome; maybe he should give her a chance, find out what exactly he did feel for her. She certainly deserved that much at least.

 

Sesshoumaru gave his brother one of those all too rare smiles that transformed him from the cold lord of the west into the caring, boyish beauty that had always been hidden behind the painful effects of his father's love. It was a face that always made Inuyasha's breath catch and his heart beat faster, now was no different.

 

“So this is it then,” the hanyou said sadly.

 

“I'm afraid so. I am leaving tomorrow to continue to search for Naraku. I will aid you whenever you need it. I will never be far away,” Sesshoumaru responded.

 

“I guess I'll do the same.” Inuyasha stood and gave his brother a sad, gentle smile. “I love you, Sesshoumaru,” he stated softly, wishing in his heart that his brother, just this once, would speak those same words to him. The hanyou turned when there was no response, walking back towards his friends and his otherwise normal life.

 

“I love you too, otouto,” Sesshoumaru whispered into the night when he knew the hanyou would not be able to hear the words he had longed for. ~That's why it must be this way,~ the taiyoukai thought as he rose and walked in the opposite direction, moving towards his new life.

 

Entering his camp, Sesshoumaru added three more logs to the fire, so that his party might snooze more soundly in warmth. He took great care not to wake anyone, stepping carefully over the sleeping bodies. The dog lord leaned up against a mighty oak, ready for rest to claim him too, but something made him look out upon his companions.

 

He noticed Shorai shift in her sleep over onto her side, exposing more of her skin to the warmth of the flames. Perhaps the ookami was not his next step in life, or love, but he had to start trying somehow. Then, his attention was drawn to Jaken, who was situated between the two slumbering heads of the dragon, his beak open wide and head thrown back. Sometimes the imp's awkwardness just made the taiyoukai want to laugh.

 

To his left, Rin was snoring softly, her tiny head resting upon the crook of her arm. Sesshoumaru felt compelled to rise once more, but instead he leaned towards the girl. Gently, the taiyoukai reached over and cradled the ningen child in his arms, folding his fluffy pelt around her body. Seeing her sleep had always made him feel proud, now he knew why. He, Sesshoumaru, was strong enough to provide for others those things he never had. He was not broken, helpless or worthless, no matter what he had lived through. ~I have you to thank for showing me that, Inuyasha,~ Sesshoumaru thought to himself.

 

He brushed back a spray of hair from Rin's face, and closed his eyes, beginning to feel himself drift away into the beginnings of deep sleep.

 

A sleep without nightmares so he could awaken with new hope.

 

 

THE END