InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Sword of Supreme Conquest ❯ Chapter 29 ( Chapter 29 )

Author's Note Part 1: You may want to grab some Kleenex. This chapter even got me a little teary eyed.

 

 

 

You hear many things about Death when you're alive. Some people describe it as a great monster; a sly, shadowy figure that lies in wait for the day when everything in your life feels perfect. As luck would have it, the wicked creature often chooses that exact moment to extend its lethal claws and unjustly snatch your life away. The devoutly religious cling desperately to the image of a utopian afterlife and all the spiritual hoo hah that goes along with it.

 

 

 

Like most young people, I never gave it much thought one way or the other. Even after years of fighting demons and several near-death experiences I was never all that concerned with my own mortality. I guess a part of me just figured I'd find some way to survive. I always was a fighter.

 

 

 

That kind of self-deception was the only way people like me, Sango, Miroku, and the others could remain positive in spite of the insurmountable odds against us. There were so many times when our battles with Naraku felt hopeless. It would've been much easier to simply give up and succumb to the fear, but none of us ever did and I think that a large part of why we didn't was because of this self-deception. We told ourselves we would survive and we made it so. We told ourselves we would succeed and we did that too. I guess I figured that if I told myself I could live through this day my will would be strong enough to make it happen. It was foolish of me to think so, I realize that now, but not a single part of me regrets what I've done.

 

 

 

The knowledge that my end was near forced me to reflect on the life I'd lived up until that moment. It'd certainly been one hell of a ride. It almost seems selfish for me to cry about the unfairness of it all when I'd experienced such adventure, love and friendship. I learned so many important lessons in such a short number of years and I'd like to think that I've touched at least a few lives along the way. When so many people don't have the chances I've had, how could I possibly have the audacity to feel upset?

 

 

 

To soothe the inescapable sting of fear that comes in those last few seconds, I tried to convince myself that maybe everything I'd gone through up until that moment - all the love, the sorrow and the trials - had been part of some grand design. Maybe my life really did have a purpose. It was certainly an endearing thought. Or maybe my birth was nothing more than the result of a chance meeting between two seeds. I'm no philosopher. I never did get good grades in that class so I won't waste your time and mine trying to answer the greatest question known to mankind: “What is the purpose of life?” Or rather…what was the purpose of my short existence here on earth?

 

 

 

For all the things I'd heard about dying or imagined about death, I never thought it would be like this. It feels like the kind of day where you put on your favourite pair of sweats, curl up in bed under a big fluffy comforter and console yourself with the best book you've ever read. It's an overwhelming feeling of peace, warmth and acceptance. I may have died violently but the essence of what I am - what I was - feels utterly content. I'd be lying if I said it's perfect though.

 

 

 

I half expected there to be some kind of tunnel with a bright light at the end of it. That's how it's always portrayed in the movies anyway. I thought there might even be a group of dead relatives I'd never met popping up to greet me. I actually kind of hoped my dad would be there, you know, to show me the way. Death is not how I thought it'd be. It's pretty anti-climatic actually. I know that sounds strange, but that's just the way it is. One second you're alive and the next you…aren't. It took me a while to even realize I was gone. It wasn't until the moment I saw my body, bloodied and broken beyond recognition, draped across Sesshomaru's lap that it hit me.

 

 

 

I cringed at the thought of how much those wounds would hurt when I woke up. Great gashes sliced across my arms from where I'd put them up to shield my face from the blast and blood pooled around me from the various other wounds hidden beneath my tattered clothes. Sluggish red rivers snaked down the pale skin of my arms, staining the grass and ruining the immaculate white silk of Sesshomaru's robes.

 

 

 

Kami, I'll be in pain for weeks by the looks of it, I thought to myself with a grimace and then I realized…I didn't feel any pain.

 

 

 

I'm not sure why it didn't strike me as odd at first that I was examining my own body with a sort of detached interest. I looked over my wounds the same way I used to study Inuyasha's; carefully planning out how they should be dressed and what ointments to use. It took a few minutes of this careful assessment for the sobering reality to sink in. The body was mine and I was no longer in it. Whatever had happened during that blast, whatever power had been released, it'd fulfilled the prophecy Akira gave me all those years ago. With one swing of the fang my life had been extinguished.

 

 

 

For a while I thought time had frozen to a stand still. Not a single person in the clearing moved and everything had gone silent. Even the animals seemed to still as if they too sensed that something catastrophic had just happened. My eyes rested solely on Sesshomaru because they couldn't bear to look anywhere else. He held me in his lap with his arm wrapped gently around my shoulders in a protective embrace.

 

 

 

I stared long and hard at the tender way he held me and wondered - is it possible he still loves me after all of this? His harsh words earlier had planted the first tingling seeds of doubt in my heart. All along it had stubbornly refused to accept that he hated me. Would he have taken Akira in and raised him as his own if he did not love you? Would he have resurrected you after you gave birth to Ronin all those years ago? it said, and for a long while I'd listened. I'd clung desperately to that shred of hope, the one what whispered to me that some part of him had never stopped loving me. Yet, his words had made me doubt and his actions left me confused.

 

 

 

I watched as his claws brushed the matted hair out of my eyes with the gentlest of movements. They hesitated at my temple where a particularly nasty looking gash had been hiding beneath my hair. Pulling away, his hand settled atop my head and his thumb grazed the smudged skin of my forehead in an unconscious gesture. I envied my body. I'd longed to have him hold me like he was doing now while I was still alive. The way he touched me told me everything I needed to know about his heart without a single word being uttered. The truth was obvious to me now and I couldn't push down the guilt that rose up at the thought that I'd doubted him.

 

 

 

I didn't have to see Inuyasha's expression to know how he felt. His ears drooped until they were almost hidden within his silvery mane and his claws clenched into fists at his sides. He took a tentative step towards me but his legs wouldn't support him and he collapsed to his knees on the grass. He hung his head and pressed his fists into the soft earth, his sharp claws digging into the mud.

 

 

 

“Can't you do something?” he demanded roughly, presumably addressing Sesshomaru. It was remarkable how different his voice sounded. It was as if I was hearing him speak to me across a mountain pass; every word echoed upon the next in a cascading wave until they reached my ears sounding distant and distorted.

 

 

 

Sesshomaru didn't answer or even acknowledge that he'd spoken and so my attention was drawn to Ronin. It was hard to believe that this handsome stranger that I'd met mere hours before was the young boy I'd left behind. He'd become a man and I'd missed it all; the gawky teenage phase, his first real girlfriend, the day when he stopped holding my hand and faced the world on his own. I was thankful for the five years I'd enjoyed by his side, but there was so much more that I'd missed.

 

 

 

His eyes, though they'd inherited the brilliant amber hue of his father's lineage, were warmer and gentler than Sesshomaru's had ever been. I could tell he had a kind heart, even though I'd hardly had the chance to get re-acquainted with it. It pained me to know that like Sesshomaru and Inuyasha, he and Akira were so at odds with one another. I wanted them to find peace. I wanted them to be more to each other than just brothers; I'd hoped they could be friends as well. Maybe it was foolish of me to think so.

 

 

 

It hurt me to see the pain and confusion in his eyes. It felt like all he'd ever known from me was death and sadness. I prayed that somewhere amidst all the bad memories he remembered the good times too. I'd tried to be a good mother to him - to be caring, supportive and loving like my own mother had been for Souta and me. I wanted to hug him and hold him in my arms like the child he once was. I wanted to tell him how proud I was of the man he'd become but I knew I couldn't. I had to be content to fill my gaze with all the pride that was in my heart in the hopes that on some level he could feel it and be comforted by it.

 

 

 

It was Akira who drew my attention last, not because he was insignificant or that I cared less for him than the others, but simply because he hadn't moved or spoken since the fatal moment when he'd brought the sword down and cut my life short. I suppose it would've been easy to hate him for lying, betraying us and killing me, but the instant I looked upon his face I realized that I could never hate him. He was my son, my baby, the part of myself I'd never been able to let go of. He reminded me so much of Inuyasha that I was shocked I hadn't pieced together the puzzle of his identity sooner.

 

 

 

Inside he was no different from the abandoned and abused boy I met so many years ago beneath the wise branches of the Goshinboku tree. It would be wrong for me to blame anyone but myself for the man he'd become. I was the one who made the decision to leave him behind. The darkness that consumed his heart, the monster he'd turned in to, everything he'd done this day, was a result of that fateful choice and nothing I did now could change that fact.

 

 

 

Seeing the tears of rage and sorrow mixing upon his cheeks, I couldn't help but feel sorry for him. He furiously tried to wipe them away, but they continued to stream in stubborn rivulets from his eyes. The Sword of Supreme Conquest, that damn sword that'd been the start of all of this, rested heavily against the ground with his claws still wrapped tight around the hilt. I was surprised to see him lift it again. Despite the tears, murder still shone bright in his eyes and I realized then that nothing short of a divine intervention would dissuade him. Apparently even my death hadn't been sufficient to assuage his blood lust. Then again, I suppose that's only fair considering he barely knew me at all.

 

 

 

I may not have been there when he was young to scold him when he was bad and teach him the life lessons that would shape him into a proper man, but I was damned if I was going to let him go on a murderous rampage. Balling my hands into fists I lifted my leg and kicked the sword with as much power as I could muster. I fully expected my foot to go through it of course, but to my surprise the blade was flung from his hands. It spun end over end through the air until it became firmly embedded in the trunk of a nearby tree. Everyone stared at the sword with shock, including Akira who for the life of him couldn't figure out how it had happened.

 

 

 

When he took a step towards the blade I called out his name in the scolding tone that only a mother can master. He halted in his tracks immediately and turned to face me, his eyes wide and questioning. So he'd heard me…well it was a start.

“Akira…,” I said his name again more gently this time. He appeared to be staring straight at me and when he fell to his knees I knelt down with him. I smiled at him as I stared into his liquid azure eyes and tried to heal the raw emotional scars I saw burning there.

 

 

 

“I need you to forgive me,” I begged softly. “I wasn't a very good mother to you. I left you alone when you needed me most and because of that I wasn't there to pick you up when you fell down or protect you from the others. I didn't teach you all of the life lessons mothers are supposed to give their sons and for that I'm sorry.”

 

 

 

My eyes desperately searched his for some sign of understanding. The azure orbs widened marginally and I heard him suck in a shuddering breath. “I know you aren't to blame for what happened today. I know you aren't this person. I knew it the first night we met in the modern world when you told me you would never hurt me. I believed in you then and I believe in you now. You have a good heart Akira, I've seen it.”

 

 

 

I turned my gaze meaningfully towards Sesshomaru and his eyes followed. “Whatever he might have done, killing Sesshomaru like this isn't the answer. It won't make the pain go away and it won't bring me back. As hard as it is to accept, this is something you're going to have to work through on your own. It will make you stronger and you'll be a better man because of it.”

 

 

 

His gaze darkened as he stared at Sesshomaru and I hastily shifted between them. He was so close I could almost feel it. Just a little bit more and this would all be at an end.

 

 

 

“I want you to know that I'm proud of you,” I said sincerely. “I'm proud that you had the strength to fight for what you thought was right and the courage to demand better for yourself. Don't ever let anyone tell you you're less than them again.”

 

 

 

He took a moment to think over my words before reluctantly nodding his head. His shoulders sagged and he blew out a heavy breath, as though he was expelling the weight of all the emotions that'd weighed so heavily on his heart. Realizing that my work was done, I sat back on my haunches with a despondent sigh and extended my hand to unfeelingly graze his cheek.

 

 

 

“I really wish I'd had more time to get to know you,” I commented, my voice tinged with regret. He nodded understandingly, his eyes following me as I stood up. His fingers immediately lifted to his cheek as though he could still feel my touch.

 

 

 

I turned to face the others with a sense of finality and realized that apparently no one but Akira could see me. They were all transfixed by the sight of my quickly cooling corpse and I found the situation almost humorous. I wanted to tell them how insignificant my body was now that my soul had been set free, but I doubted that they would understand, even if they could hear me.

 

 

 

It was Akira who plucked the Sword of Supreme Conquest from the tree. He carried it reverently towards my body and hastily planted it into the ground at Sesshomaru's side. The great demon lord's amber eyes didn't move from my face and he didn't flinch when Akira knelt at his side, head bowed in remorse.

 

 

 

“Father, what I did today is unforgivable and I will remove myself from your house at once. Before I go, I must beg one last request. Please, use this to bring her back.”

 

 

 

Akira's heartfelt plea stirred Sesshomaru to life, yet his movements were slow and leaden as he shook his head `no'. He looked at Akira with dark, remorseful eyes and held his gaze in tense silence. “I can't,” he muttered and his eyes flickered momentarily to the blade at his side before they closed against the sight of it.

 

 

 

“What do you mean? I thought it could bring people back to life?” Akira demanded, his eyes growing wide with confusion.

 

 

 

“It can, but life is finite. There are only so many times one can be brought back. This blade has already been used to restore her life once before and it will not do so again. Can you not smell it on her?”

 

 

 

Akira stared down at my body, his face a mixture of shock and dismay. My heart went out to him, but there was nothing I could do to give him comfort. I just hoped that Sesshomaru and Ronin could find it within themselves to forgive him as well.

 

 

 

Ronin, who'd been so quiet through all of this, silently knelt next to my head and rested his hand on Sesshomaru's shoulder. “Father,” he said gently and Sesshomaru turned to him with eyes that burned. “Let me take care of her.” He motioned towards my body and gave a silent nod. Sesshomaru hesitantly removed his hand from my head and absently wiped the blood from my wounds onto the white silk of his pants.

 

 

 

I'd been prepared to leave them and answer the call of the invisible force that'd been urging me onward for the past few minutes, but Ronin's words made me pause. What did he mean `take care of' me? I moved in closer to watch, my eyes glued to Ronin's hands.

 

 

 

He closed his eyes and took in several relaxing breaths before holding them out over my body. I was surprised to see a faint blue light emanate from his palms and watched in awe as he began to sweep them down across my form. Everywhere the blue light touched the wounds and blood there vanished. Even the tears stains on my cheeks had been scrubbed clean by the time he was done. When he sat back I stared down at my freshly cleaned and healed body with awe and a touch of pride. I had no idea Ronin possessed such unique abilities.

 

 

 

“I'd forgotten what she looked like…,” he commented absently as he reached out a finger to caress my cheek.

 

 

 

Akira studied my body intently through tear filled eyes and I heard a tiny gasp escape his lips. “She looks like she's sleeping,” he whispered quietly and I could see his hand twitch at his side as though he was tempted to shake me, just to be sure.

 

 

 

“Inuyasha.”

 

 

 

Sesshomaru's voice emerged suddenly sounding clear and commanding. Without hesitating, Inuyasha stood and went to his side, knowing instinctively what he was supposed to do. Without sparing a word or a glance to either of my sons, he picked my body up off the ground and draped it across his arms. With a nod to Sesshomaru he held me close and carried me back towards the well in stony silence.

 

 

 

I didn't have to follow him to know where he was headed, so instead I chose to stay by my family's side for what little time I had left. I knelt before the man who through better and worse had been my mate and willed him to look at me. I wanted to read his heart in his eyes.

 

 

 

As if giving in to my silent command he complied and lifted his eyes to unleash an amber firestorm directly at me. The wave of emotion that radiated out from him in that second when our souls joined for the last time made me want to double over and scream, yet I couldn't tear my eyes away to save myself from its onslaught. There was so much pain. It was all consuming - an endless well of despair and loneliness. There was regret there too, bitter and unmerciful.

 

 

 

I wanted to help him but I couldn't. There was nothing left that I could do. These emotions were his new battle now; supreme conquest no longer mattered. All that was left was this - the fight to see whether he had the ability to overcome the emptiness before it devoured him. I had no doubt in my heart that he would succeed and it was this knowledge that convinced me it was finally time to move on.

 

 

 

Closing my eyes, I leaned forward and placed my lips against his. I wasn't even sure if he could feel the kiss, but I did it anyways. I needed him to know that I still loved him, especially after everything we'd been through together. I'd never stopped loving him. For there to be closure he had to know that I harboured no ill feelings towards him and that I had no regrets about my decision.

 

 

 

 

When I felt my body slowly being engulfed by a pool of warmth I opened my eyes. He was staring directly at me again but this time I was certain he could see me. The warmth surrounding me now was coming from him. Like the sadness that'd tried to consume me before, this long familiar emotion enveloped me in a warm blanket. I smiled at him as I felt his love for me wrap around my ethereal form in a comforting embrace.

 

 

 

I wanted to stay there like that, with him, forever but the pull of the Afterlife grew stronger the longer I lingered. With reluctance I finally gave into the light that was drawing me away from his side. His eyes followed mine as I drifted away and I was happy to see the fire storm in them dissipate into a serene calm sea of acceptance and understanding.

 

 

 

In that last moment before crossing over, I took the opportunity to hover just above the trees and take in the awe inspiring beauty of the landscape. The trees, the far off mountains and the vibrant green fields were breathtaking. I greedily drank them in with my eyes and burned the images into my memory so I would never forget.

 

 

 

I would certainly miss being alive, but I did not regret the choices I'd made. I could never regret them knowing that the man I loved more than life itself would live on. It was up to him now to rebuild what'd been allowed to rest in shambles. It was the only request I made of him - that he would work to rebuild our family.

 

 

 

During those last few moments we'd shared together, when our aura's combined one last time to make us as one, he promised me it would be done. I smiled down at him from where I hovered at the gateway between the world of the living and the next, even though I was certain he could no longer see me.

 

 

 

And so it was that on that beautiful morning, with the sun streaming through the skies and the world surging onward, vibrant and alive beneath me, a tiny inaudible `pop' was all it took before Kagome Higurashi was no more.

 

 

 

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Author's Note Part 2: Question & Answer Time:

 

Q: Is Kagome really dead? Like dead dead? And if she is really dead is she gonna come back to life somehow?

A: Yes, Kagome is dead dead and no she will not be reviving anytime soon.

 

Q: Is this the last chapter? Is your story over now?

A: Definitely not. I think this would be a horrible ending don't you?

 

Q: But what about Kags and Fluffy? Aren't they supposed to end up together?

A: Yes well…life doesn't always turn out the way we want it to. That being said, I think some people are just fated/ destined to be together no matter what the circumstances. Plus, I did say this story would have a happy ending didn't I?

 

 

Yes…I did it. I killed Kagome. *braces for impact*

 

 

I'm sorry the wait was so long for this chapter, especially since that last one was such a cliff hanger. At least this one wasn't! Yay! See? I'm already making progress :) Please let me know what you thought of it. I don't usually write in first person so it's sort of new ground for me. I'd be interested to hear your opinions. Was it okay or should I stick to my usual style?

 

 

Thank you to everyone who keeps reading and reviewing this fic. Your dedication keeps me writing :) *Hugz all around*

 

 

Until next time…

 

 

-Langus

 

 

Side Note: I saw this feature on a couple of other fics so I thought if anyone cared to know I would post it up too. While writing this chapter and the previous one I listened to the following music selections:

 

Copeland - I'm Safer on an Airplane & Control Freak

Counting Crows - Colourblind

Evanescence - My Immortal