InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Sword of Supreme Conquest ❯ Chapter 30 ( Chapter 30 )

Inuyasha sat with his back braced against the aged wood of the bone eater's well; Kagome's body clutched close to his chest and his face hidden in her hair to hide the tears that escaped down his cheeks. She felt heavy in his arms and despite knowing the futility of it all, his fingertips pressed into the delicate skin of her back in search of a heart beat. Scent alone told him that life no longer lingered within her body, but for the first time in his life he couldn't bring himself to trust his nose. Didn't it know that just a few minutes ago she'd been so alive?

 

 

With a despondent sigh he sat upright and pulled away, reluctant to accept the bitter truth - she was gone. There'd been many times before when he'd thought he'd lost her, and a few where he nearly had, but this was different. The sinking weight that accompanied the grim acceptance let him know with resounding clarity that this time it was for real. This time there would be no stroke of fate that would bring her back. The nightmarish moment he'd been dreading since the day he first realized he loved her had finally arrived.

 

 

His eyes panned slowly over her face and he was more than a little surprised to see how peaceful her expression was. She had the countenance of someone who'd long ago accepted her fate and that knowledge made his heart clench inside his chest. She'd known…all along she'd known it would end like this and yet she'd still plunged headfirst into it anyway. Stupid wench…what the heck were you thinking?

 

 

Extending a pointed claw, he grazed it softly over her lips and wondered what she'd thought in those last moments. Had she been scared? Did she know that jumping in the way would mean the end? Had she paused for even a moment to think about how her decision would affect everyone else around her? How it would affect him? He wanted to be angry with her for leaving him without even a goodbye but couldn't bring himself to feel anything more than hurt.

 

 

He wanted to be angry at the world. He wanted to blame everyone, especially Sesshomaru for the aching emptiness that was eating away at him, but he just didn't have the strength. He was already defeated by the thought of living the rest of his life without her. She'd barely been dead an hour and already he missed her. He missed her smile and the way her eyes lit up when she talked. He even missed her all too frequent reprimands and the scowl she gave him when she was really pissed off.

 

 

With a sinking feeling of dread he began to worry that all too soon he would forget the things he loved about her the most - her laugh, her voice, her smile. For the most part he'd forgotten those things about his mother. Would he forget them about her too? His hands tightened on her shoulders and he pulled her body in closer, delaying the inevitable. He would have to say goodbye eventually and return with her through the well. It was that moment he couldn't bear to face just yet. Burying his nose in her hair once more, he breathed in her fading scent and allowed it to permeate his senses. He wanted to remember her always. He wouldn't allow himself to forget.

 

 

A strange but familiar voice pulled him from his thoughts. “I know what you're thinking,” it said.

 

 

His ears turned towards the sound and his forehead creased in confusion as he lifted his head to meet an identical pair of amber eyes staring back at him. He stared in muted shock at the older version of himself leaning casually against a tree a few feet away. He appeared mature, confident, and powerful. His skin was weathered and bronzed from years spent outdoors and in battle. He'd grown into a man and his eyes shone with a certain level of wisdom that could only come with age and the experience of clumsily feeling one's way through the world.

 

 

Inuyasha crossed his arms in front of his chest and leaned his shoulder against the trunk of the young oak tree. He watched his immature self impassively. He remembered this moment, this day, as if it'd just happened minutes and not centuries ago. His heart shuddered at the sight of Kagome's body draped across his own lap, but he was careful to keep his face unreadable.

 

 

He'd learned long ago to reign in his emotions. In many ways he'd become exactly like the brother he spent the better part of his life hating. That was the one good thing that'd blossomed out of her sacrifice - he and Sesshomaru actually referred to one another as family now. But then, she'd always had a knack for making the impossible seem possible.

 

 

“I said, I know that you're thinking,” he repeated, his voice strong and gruff.

 

 

Inuyasha looked up from where his eyes had dropped to Kagome's face. His ears twitched along with his nose as he confirmed that his eyes weren't deceiving him. Shifting his shoulders he pulled Kagome close and growled possessively.

 

 

“So what am I thinking?” he demanded, not appreciating the way he was being eyed down.

 

 

“You're scared to death that you're going to forget her just like you forgot your mother.”

 

 

Inuyasha bristled at the painfully true words. His eyes drifted down to Kagome's face and he cupped her cheek in his palm. His thumb drifted across her lips of its own accord in a gentle caress. Would he forget her? He lifted his gaze to meet the identical one staring back at him with his heart in his throat. Like it or not, this older version of himself was the only one who knew for sure how things would turn out. Feeling like he was being slowly suffocated by the weight of his own fear, he pulled in a shaky breath and waited for the answer that had every potential of being his undoing.

 

 

“You'll never forget,” the older hanyou explained reassuringly. With a smirk tugging at his lips he tilted his head towards Kagome's body. “Do you really think you could forget someone like her?”

 

 

Inuyasha shook his head and tightened his grip on her shoulders.

 

 

“Things aren't going to be easy,” he went on. “I wish I could tell you it gets easier, but I'd be lying. You're going to miss her every day of your miserable life, but you'll survive it because you know better than anyone that it's what she would have wanted. So go mend your relationship with Sesshomaru and do what you can to honour her memory. You think you can handle that?”

 

 

Inuyasha nodded his head dumbly. He wasn't looking forward to the next few months, but avoiding them wouldn't make them any easier and it sure wouldn't make the hurt go away. His eyes dropped to Kagome's face and he held his breath. It was almost time; time to dive back down the well that'd started it all, but he hesitated. He didn't want to give her back to Sesshomaru, even though he knew it was where she belonged.

 

 

Inuyasha crouched down to one knee in front of the pair. His eyes were on Kagome as he gently brushed her bangs back from her face. His lips turned upwards in a small smile, just about all the emotion he was willing to reveal to anyone anymore, even himself.

 

 

“It's easy to forget,” he stated softly, his hand stilling its movements and drifting down to caress her cheek. His eyes lifted to meet those of his younger self and he stared into them intently. There was so much he could tell himself about the future, but it wouldn't be right. Figuring it all out was a part of life. An easy life wasn't necessarily the best life. He'd realize it eventually, just not for about a century or so.

 

 

“That she looked this peaceful when she went,” he finished off seriously. His gaze silently warned the younger hanyou not to forget. Understanding perfectly he nodded, a silent promise that he wouldn't.

 

 

Inuyasha stood and cleared his throat, swallowing down the thick lump that'd formed there. It was harder than he thought it'd be to see her like that again. Being haunted by memories was one thing, to see it in reality and know it wasn't just another dream…Eager for a distraction he glanced purposefully at the well and shifted his weight to his right foot so he could peer over the edge into its inky depths.

 

 

“You probably don't realize this yet, but you can't go through the well.”

 

 

The comment came off so casually Inuyasha almost choked on his next breath. Cant…go through…the well? He looked up at himself stunned, his eyes shimmering with shock and unshed tears. “What the hell do you mean I can't go through the well? I have to get her home!”

 

 

He was losing all patience now as his last raw nerve was agitated. He couldn't handle any more surprises. He was having a hard enough time dealing with her death as it was without fretting over how they were going to get home as well. He had his beads. Their weight hung secure and familiar around his neck - surely they would do the job?

 

 

Inuyasha leaned back from the well's edge and tilted his face up toward the mid-morning sun. He closed his eyes as it beamed down, warm against his skin, and let out a sigh. He really didn't want to have to be the one to break the news to himself…he knew his own temper…but he remembered the panic he'd felt the first time he'd gone down the well only to realize that he hadn't budged. He was doing himself a favour really.

 

 

“The sheath you came with will take you back to the feudal era but you can't go to the modern world again, at least not on your own. Now that she's gone those beads have no power.”

 

 

The hanyou swallowed hard and stared unseeingly at the grass. No…it wasn't true. It couldn't possibly be true. There was no way the gods were cruel enough to take his entire family from him in one day. Memories of Mrs. Higurashi's smiling face, Sota's video games, and even Gramps' moody frowns flashed before his eyes. His breaths came into his chest in swift, ragged gasps as he turned his face up to look at his double. The casual way he stood and waited for a response made him want to howl. He wanted to bear his fangs and rip his older half to shreds for being so calm about the entire ordeal. Didn't he understand better than anyone how this was tearing him apart? He couldn't suppress the rumbling growl that tore suddenly through his chest and reverberated loudly throughout the clearing.

 

 

“Don't bear your fangs at me pup,” his older self reprimanded harshly. “I'm just telling it like it is. I'm saving you the trouble of finding out for yourself that the well doesn't work anymore.”

 

 

Realizing he was right, Inuyasha choked off the rest of his growl and let the anger dissipate from his body. “How am I supposed to tell her family if I can't go through the well? I can't not tell them.” His voice was almost a whisper. The older half demon nodded his head thoughtfully.

 

 

“True. Well there is one option - take Akira with you.”

 

 

“What?!” His eyes grew wide and the anger returned with a vengeance, just as vicious and bitter as ever. “Like hell I'm getting anywhere near that bastard!”

 

 

“Cease your barking! Like it or not he's your son - yours and Kagome's. Without him you can't go to the modern era. He's the only one who can get you there so swallow your damn pride and do it.”

 

 

Inuyasha snorted indignantly and turned away, muttering a muted “Feh!” He didn't like being told what to do, especially not by himself as he was quickly discovering, and not when it involved asking the hanyou responsible for killing the woman he loved for help. Just what kind of screwed up world did they live in?

 

 

Though Akira was his own flesh and blood, at the moment he couldn't get past the resentment he felt towards him. He had a feeling that from the way Akira had spoken about him that he'd spent the majority of the kid's life avoiding him…he'd have to work on that. Kagome told him once that he'd make a great father some day. Well, now was his first real chance to prove her right.

 

 

“Fine. Where is he?” he demanded tersely, a snarl underlying his tone. His ears flickered at a faint noise a few feet away and he turned to see Akira emerge from the edge of the tree line. His featured hardened for a moment as a swell of hate rose to the surface, but he quickly pushed it down. He could smell the tears coming off the boy and it immediately softened his expression. He'd always hated it when Kagome cried.

 

 

“You can get me through the well to her time?” he inquired, his voice losing the biting quality it'd held earlier. Akira nodded his head tentatively and took a step forward. “Alright then, let's go.”

 

 

Inuyasha stood and looked with determination at the well. He was as ready as he'd ever be. Akira stepped up beside him and heaved a quiet sigh. Inuyasha's mouth turned down into a frown at the way the boy kept his gaze averted to the ground. He wanted to comfort him and tell him that everything was going to be okay, but he didn't have it in him just yet.

 

 

“Akira.” It was the oldest hanyou who spoke.

 

 

Two sets of eyes turned to fix on him - one bright amber, the other dark cerulean. His expression was serious and thoughtful as he gazed at them both before narrowing his eyes at his son. The silence hanging between them was heavy, over-laden with unspoken words. When he finally did speak, it was only to utter a swift apology.

 

 

“I'm sorry.”

 

 

Akira gasped softly and Inuyasha turned to look at him questioningly. “What's the matter?” he demanded. Akira closed his gaping mouth and shook his head back and forth seeming somewhat disoriented.

 

 

“N-nothing,” he stammered slightly. “It's just that Inuyasha doesn't apologize…to anyone.”

 

 

Inuyasha smirked at that comment. Damn, he really had turned out like Sesshomaru. He glanced up at the spot where his older self had been and wasn't surprised to see it vacant. With a shrug of his shoulders he turned to face the well.

 

 

“Consider yourself lucky then. Come on, let's go.”

 

 

Placing one bare foot on the rim, he took a second to glance around what was left of the future, his future, before plunging into the inky void. Akira followed close behind and within seconds they were enveloped by the well's soft blue glow. With their departure the clearing went silent and the steady rhythm of everyday life returned to normal.

 

 

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The court was bustling with men at arms and pensive advisors. Plans were underway for a defensive attack along the eastern border and there was still much organizing to be done. Sesshomaru stood at the centre of the hoard, distractedly looking at one map after the other, though clearly his thoughts were elsewhere. He stared out the nearest window at the fields beyond and desperately wished for freedom. He despised the mundane tasks and responsibilities of leadership. He loathed the thought of being confined to the palace for any length of time and found himself longing for the days when he'd roamed free in search of power and conquest.

 

 

Sesshomaru's features hardened as his thoughts wandered to his absent mate. He'd been seriously toying with the idea of killing the child she'd left behind. With one swipe of his claws the stain upon his name would cease to exist. Then he wouldn't have to suffer the humiliation of being reminded of his mate's unfaithfulness every time he saw the infant or heard its cries for attention.

 

 

She knew him well enough to understand that he would certainly entertain the idea, which made him all the more curious as to why she'd ever thought it wise to entrust him with the child to begin with. What kind of mother knowingly abandons her son to a den of blood thirsty dogs? Perhaps she'd been clinging to the hope that his affection for her would dissuade him from committing such a selfish act. Well, in either case she was wrong. The only reason he hadn't disposed of the child yet was because Rin had made it her personal mission to ensure he stayed alive. She remained with him at all times, caring for him as if he was her own. She even slept with him in her bed, making it entirely impossible for him to make a move.

 

 

Her actions frustrated him to no end. The one charge he'd believed would always be faithful to his wishes had chosen this opportunity to stand against him. Had she no gratitude for everything he'd given her? No understanding of just how precarious her position was? All it would take was one word and she too would be gone from his life forever. Then he would be alone.

 

 

The idea, just the very sentiment, left an acrid, bitter taste in his mouth. He didn't want to be alone. Even though he'd seen first-hand proof of why humans and demons should never exist together, he could no longer deny his need for them. He would never regret bringing Rin back from the Underworld, or inviting Kagome to be his mate. Together they had unknowingly brought him more happiness than a beast of his vicious character deserved. Even that knowledge wasn't enough to temper the sting of betrayal he'd felt at both their hands…

 

 

Sesshomaru's sullen thoughts were disturbed by a commotion at the far entrance of the great hall. He heard the scraping of metal as swords were drawn and turned to see the cause. His features hardened into a menacing glare as he picked up Inuyasha's scent and caught sight of his tell-tale silver hair making its way towards him. A low threatening growl resounded through chest and he rested his hand against the hilt of Tokijin. If the bastard had come to gloat he wouldn't allow him to leave alive.

 

 

As Inuyasha drew closer the guards slowly lowered their swords. One by one they parted like the Red Sea to provide a path through their gleaming blades. His face was stony, his expression determined, as he continued forward. When he reached Sesshomaru he stopped and fixed him with an equally dark glare. The burnished amber of his eyes spoke in volumes what his lips could not. This is your fault, they said.

 

 

Sesshomaru's gaze wavered to the body draped limply across the hanyou's arms. His mate's long dark hair fell in cascading waves towards the floor and her head lolled lifeless across the sleeve of his haori. There was no blood to be seen and no marks to mar her perfect complexion, yet he understood unequivocally through the lack of her scent on the air that she was dead.

 

 

“What is the meaning of this?” he hissed through clenched teeth.

 

 

His expression remained hard to hide the panic that rose inside of him. Dead. Dead? How? Why? He'd wanted her gone until his anger had been appeased, but not dead. Never dead. Death was too final, too unforgiving. He took in a shuddering breath to calm the turmoil raging inside of him, but his chest remained constricted. His hand tightened on the hilt of his blade for support. Inuyasha too note of this and rolled his eyes, muttering a muted `Keh!'

 

 

“You never change do you? I'm not here to start a fight. I'm just bringing her back where she belongs.” Sesshomaru's eyebrows rose. It was so unlike Inuyasha to be unselfish, particularly when it concerned Kagome. Why now? The demon's surprise vanished almost immediately and his brows drew low as he considered the possibility that this was somehow the hanyou's fault.

 

 

“Give it a rest Sesshomaru,” Inuyasha chided coolly at seeing his rival's face harden once more. “You know as well as I do that you still love her so stop trying to act so pissed off. The least you can do is take her back - especially since the only reason she's gone is because she saved your ungrateful ass.” He felt a small sense of satisfaction at seeing his brother's countenance falter.

 

 

Sesshomaru's hand loosened on the hilt of his blade and his eyes dropped to Kagome's body. “What?” His voice was soft and breathy as he stared wide-eyed at her in complete disbelief.

 

 

Inuyasha huffed an irritated sigh and stepped away, not bothering to explain the situation further. Stepping towards the stairs that led to the seat his brother took on occasion, he took one last glance at Kagome. This was the right thing to do. He could feel it right down to the very fibre of his being. She belonged here…with him…and she always had. That admission was particularly hard for him to swallow but with it came a tiny ounce of wisdom. He was eventually going to become the man he'd met mere hours before on the other side of the well, but it would take time.

 

 

Stopping at the edge of the stairs he stooped to lay Kagome's body across them. It was a peace offering of sorts. All he could do now was wait to see if his brother accepted it. “You should bury her beneath the Goshinboku tree. That way her other family can visit her too,” he commented off-handedly, his voice serious and lacking its usual arrogant tone. He turned back to Sesshomaru, his expression unreadable and awaited his response.

 

 

The silence throughout the hall was deafening. Everyone understood the political ramifications of accepting such an offer. It was tantamount to accepting her infidelity and admitting he was too weak to control his own mate. It would certainly result in a lot of trouble for him, what with rivalries for his position and all, but to not accept it would betray what everyone knew were the loyalties of his heart. He'd chosen politics over love once out of a sense of duty. Now everyone eagerly awaited his response to see if he would do so again.

 

 

After a tense moment of silence Sesshomaru closed his eyes and nodded his head in acceptance. Without waiting for him to speak, Inuyasha stalked towards the large double doors at the far end of the hall. When he was halfway to freedom he paused, a thought suddenly occurring to him. Turning his head slightly so his voice would be heard, he gave his brother an ominous warning,

 

 

“Be nice to the kid. You'll regret it later if you don't.”

 

 

While he couldn't tell his brother everything that would come to pass, he could at least give him this tiny morsel of advice and hope that he was smart enough to figure it out on his own. Maybe if things worked out right this entire situation could be avoided. Maybe some day in the future he'd wake up to a world where Kagome's laughter still rang through the palace walls. It was a faint hope at best, but he clung to it like a life line.

 

 

With those final parting words, he left the suffocating atmosphere of the hall. The cool breeze from outside lashed against his cheeks and he pulled in a deep breath. He felt lighter, freer, as if a great weight of responsibility had been lifted from his shoulders. He only had a second to revel in the feeling before the weight returned - he remembered all too suddenly that there was still one more family he needed to break the news to.

 

 

Inuyasha turned to make his way through the field and back to the campsite he'd left Akira at but was brought up short by Rin. He paused mid-step and fixed her with a surprised stare. Her rich brown eyes swept down his body and back up again to rest pleasantly on his face.

 

 

“You look well. I'm glad.”

 

 

Her voice was sweet and gentle. She understood better than most the tangled web that made up his relationship with Kagome and his brother. She looked up at him with sympathetic eyes - apparently she'd heard everything that'd gone on in the Great Hall. Inuyasha gulped and settled his foot down against the floor.

 

 

Rin had certainly grown into herself as she'd aged. Starting off as such a small, gawky child he'd never paid her much attention. She was just the brat who followed after his brother. Now though, she was about as old as Kagome had been with they'd first met and he couldn't ignore her any longer. He swallowed thickly, not sure how to respond.

 

 

“I just wanted to thank you,” she continued softly. Her voice cut into the silence between them, sounding much louder to the hanyou's ears than it actually was. “For bringing her back, I mean.” She shifted nervously from foot to foot and her eyes dropped to the ground in wake of his continued silence.

 

 

A sniffle and a muffled cry drew his eyes to the tiny bundle of blankets she was carrying in her arms. He'd been so stunned by her unexpected appearance that he hadn't even noticed she was carrying a baby, or rather, his baby. Curiosity took over as he stepped forward and extended a clawed finger to pull back the blankets that'd bunched up around the child's face.

 

 

Inuyasha's breath halted as he looked upon the face of the tiny hanyou who would one day become the man awaiting him back at their campsite. It was surreal and exhilarating and stirred within him a tumult of emotions he'd never felt before. At once he felt incredibly possessive of the brat, while at the same time he was scared to death of anything happening to him. He was slowly beginning to understand some of the dedication Kagome had felt towards her sons - yet another tidbit of wisdom to safely tuck away.

 

 

With a tiny smile he bent his head low and gently rubbed the silver fuzz that ran along the child's crown. “His name's Akira,” he commented as he used the edge of his knuckle to graze his son's soft, pudgy cheek. The infant sniffed at his fingers and let out a tiny sneeze.

 

 

Rin nodded silently and commented to herself that even though the child hadn't yet been named, Akira was as good a name as any. She would be sure to suggest it to Sesshomaru the next time they spoke. “Akira,” she mused thoughtfully as she let the name play out across her tongue.

 

 

Inuyasha's ears twitched as her voice cut into his thoughts and his eyes lifted to meet hers. She blushed and pulled away, suddenly nervous of their close proximity. Inuyasha noticed as well and tentatively took a step backwards though he was finding himself incredibly reluctant to leave the child's side.

 

 

“Take good care of him,” he said with a smile directed at her and she nodded her head, her eyes wide. “And if Ronin tries to bully him, I'm trusting you to put him in his place. He won't be as strong as the other kids, understand?”

 

 

Rin nodded again and looked down with renewed interest at the squirming bundle in her arms. For someone who'd never been a father before, Inuyasha certainly seemed to know a lot about kids. When she looked up she was surprised to see that he was already halfway across the field, bounding in great leaps over the grass. She let out a tiny pensive sigh as she watched him go. She really wished he'd stick around sometimes, but she understood why his visits were so short. It couldn't be easy, having someone like Sesshomaru for a brother…

 

 

Rin lifted her free hand and placed it over her heart, relieved to feel that the pounding rhythm was returning to normal. Every time he was near she lost complete control of her senses. She could hardly speak let alone carry on a decent conversation and she was almost certain her cheeks were still flushed bright pink. Such foreign feelings frightened her but they were exhilarating too. No boy had ever made her feel that way before.

 

 

Her eyes lingered longingly on the fading spot of red that lingered along the horizon and a tiny smile tugged at her lips. Now that he'd finally met his son she had a feeling she wouldn't have to wait long for Inuyasha to return.