InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Sword of Supreme Conquest ❯ Chapter 31 ( Chapter 31 )

The small campfire crackled and popped beneath its burden of heavy wood and staved off the chilled night air. Akira poked at the red hot coals aimlessly with a stick as he awaited Inuyasha's return. He was dreading tomorrow. Tomorrow they would go through the well to the modern era and he would tell Kagome's family what'd happened. A resounding sense of dread lingered in his mind and coiled uncomfortably in his gut. He'd spent the past few hours searching for the right words to say, but his mind was blank. There were no words to express the depth of his grief or the level of unforgivable remorse he felt for what he'd done.

 

 

What the hell do I tell them? he asked himself painfully. “Hello! You don't know me but I'm your daughter's bastard child and oh, did I mention I killed her? Whoops!”? Shaking his head dismissively, he let out a `tch' of disgust and tossed his stick angrily at the fire. With his knees tucked into his chest, he rested his chin atop them and brooded in stormy silence.

 

 

He sensed Inuyasha's arrival a few seconds before he appeared. He was getting better at that now, sensing when other demonic auras were around. He'd never been able to do it before with much accuracy but now it was becoming almost second nature.

 

 

“How did it go?” he asked softly.

 

 

“Oh just peachy,” came the terse response from the tree branches overhead.

 

 

With a frustrated snarl Inuyasha dropped soundlessly to the ground. Turning his back on Akira, he stalked to the other side of the fire and dropped gracefully onto his backside, tucking his legs beneath him. Crossing his arms in front of his chest he watched Akira intently, his bright eyes never wavering.

 

 

“I want to know everything,” he demanded, the hardness in his voice reflecting the determination in his gaze.

 

 

Akira let out a despondent sigh, his body sagging backwards to rest against the tree behind him. He was exhausted. Everything was happening so fast…he still hadn't had time to process it all. He didn't want to live it over again. It was too soon….too painful…but from the look in Inuyasha's eyes he realized he didn't have much of a choice.

 

 

“What do you want to know?”

 

 

His voice sounded as weak and defeated as he felt. It was never supposed to turn out like this. She was never supposed to be the one to die. He couldn't get over the guilt and it was eating him alive like a cancer, black and insidious as it ravaged his heart. He kept his eyes fixed on a patch of deadened grass beside his feet and braced himself for the impending interrogation.

 

 

“You can start by telling me when you figured out you could go through the well,” Inuyasha barked out gruffly. He could see that the boy was despondent but he didn't know the first thing about how to comfort him. He was never good with emotions and too often found his mouth full of dirt, the result of Kagome's “sit” commands, because of it. He leaned forward expectantly, his fingers tapping impatiently against his legs. Akira leaned forward as well to rest his chin atop his folded arms but did not lift his eyes from the ground.

 

 

<How could he be my father? He stole a discreet glance at the hanyou seated across from him and felt his back stiffen. This boy, who seemed hardly older than himself, was his father? It seemed impossible that he could ever become the Inuyasha of legends, the one who made a name for himself as a formidable opponent and warrior. That man who'd been at the well when they'd departed and the man sitting across from him now were not the same.

 

 

He had no interest in getting to know this Inuyasha. What he wanted was to go home - back through the well to a time when he knew how the world worked and who he could trust and just start over, but that was impossible now. He couldn't leave until he'd fulfilled his obligation to her family. It was that thought which kept his face shadowed and his head bent low as he answered the first question directed at him.

 

 

“I don't remember how old I was. Older than a child, but younger than I am now.”

 

 

Inuyasha rolled his eyes. Well that's specific. His brows drew low and he shot Akira a dark look, warning him that this had better not be how the rest of the story was going to play out. Sensing the pair of golden eyes burning into him, Akira shifted his back against the tree and cleared his throat.

 

 

“I was visiting her grave beneath the Goshinboku tree,” he continued, his voice thoughtful as he remembered the way the summer sun had warmed the earth and the array of beautiful pink flowers that'd begun to sprout up through the grass.

 

 

“Ah-Un wandered off somewhere, so I went after them. When I found them they were standing next to an old well. I was curious so I looked down into it and wondered why anyone would leave such a thing uncovered. Ironically, just as I thought that the damn beast bumped me from behind and I fell in head first.

 

 

Akira tilted his head to the side and a smile pulled at his lips as he remembered the two-headed half demon that'd always been more of a friend than a pet. At times he'd felt certain they were his only friends.

 

 

“I fully expected to crack my head open at the bottom, but instead I was surrounded by a blue light. I felt like I was floating and then suddenly I was sitting unharmed in the dirt. Surprised, I leapt out of the well only to realize that I was no longer where I should have been. The sounds and the smells all around me were different than anything I'd ever experienced before.”

 

 

At this Inuyasha nodded his head understandingly. Kagome's world was full of too many dangers and distractions. The first few times he'd ventured down the well he'd been overcome by it all as well. He tilted his head to the side curiously and waited for Akira to go on with his story.

 

 

“It took me a long time to get used to them,” he confessed, “and once I was able to tolerate it, I stumbled out of the well house and leapt into the branches of the Goshinboku. I sat in them shivering and frightened for what felt like hours, asking myself how I was going to get home, wondering how I'd gotten there to begin with. I had so many questions and no one to answer them for me.

 

 

“It was well past dark by the time I convinced myself to descend from the tree. I began to make my way towards the small hut that housed the well, but something caught my attention; a scent that I recognized but could not place. It lured me into the branches of another tree, where I could look into the second story windows of the house. Inside one of the rooms was a girl, the one who was the source of the scent.

 

 

“I watched her for a long time as she wrote page after page in a notebook and all the while I wondered who she was and why I knew her. She was young, no older than Rin is now, and she appeared happy. After a long while stumbled over to her bed and slept.

 

 

“I sat in that tree until sunrise trying to discern what I could about her and my current predicament. I wondered about the girl I'd seen - if she could help me get home again. I wanted to speak with her but I was too scared. From my experience, humans feared demons and though I look human for the most part, enough of me looks demon that they quiver in fear at the sight of me. I didn't want to risk exposing myself, not knowing how demons or hanyou were treated in this new world, so instead I escaped back to the well and leapt into its dark depths.

 

 

“When I emerged again I was in my own time and Ah-Un was waiting patiently for me. I'd only been gone a day, but it felt like much longer. I left immediately and returned to the palace. For the next few weeks I couldn't get the girl out of my head. Eventually, I returned to the well to learn more about her. I never talked to her of course, just watched her from afar, and during one of my trips I overheard a young boy call her `Kagome'.

 

 

“Though I'd never met my mother, I knew Kagome was her name and began to wonder if there was any connection. The more I thought about it and the more questions I asked. I soon began to wonder if this girl from the future was possibly my mother, long before she'd ever been so of course.

 

 

“I'd grown up listening to servants' gossip. They whispered that Sesshomaru was the one responsible for my mother's death. Everyone liked her, or at least that's the impression I got from listening to them talk. They said she was kind and beautiful for a human, and strong like an ox in battle.”

 

 

Inuyasha snorted at that comment. More like stubborn as an ox, he thought with a smirk. “So you decided to develop this big plan to steal Sesshomaru's sword so you could kill him with it?”

 

 

Akira nodded his head slowly, the glow from the fire reflecting like gold in his eyes. “I thought that if I killed him, then maybe she could be saved. Without him in the picture she'd stay with me and then my life would end up the way it should've been. It was never supposed to turn out this way.” He murmured those last words before burying his head in his arms.

 

 

Inuyasha's ears twitched as he contemplated Akira's words. “Okay, so tell me this. If you knew Kagome had died early why did you still go to the modern world and get her involved? Didn't you know that it was your hand that killed her?”

 

 

Akira's head snapped up and he fixed Inuyasha with a look of alarm. “What?! I never would've involved her if I'd known it was going to turn out this way! It was always implied by my family and you that I was the reason for her death, but I just assumed she'd died as a result of her labour and Sesshomaru casting her out too soon afterwards. She nearly died giving birth to Ronin, that much I knew for sure, so why should I have thought things would be any different with me?

 

 

“If I'd known…Kami if I'd known that I was the one who'd done it, I never would've gotten her involved. This whole time I thought I was saving her! Ironic isn't it? I go through all of this trouble to bring her back only to find out that I'm the one who killed her all along. The gods must really have it out for me...”

 

 

Inuyasha's ears drooped until they were nearly flush against his silver mane. He felt bad for the kid. It had to be a difficult position to be in, to know that your own hand killed the person who cared most for you in the world. He knew what it was like to live a life full of hardship, but at least he could remember the years he'd had at his mother's side. They'd been the happiest years of his life until he'd met Kagome.

 

 

Compared to Akira, he'd been lucky to have both his mother and Kagome - the kid hadn't had either. He'd had no one, and lived his entire life up until today thinking that he was hated and unloved. Hearing him speak now reminded Inuyasha of just how much he would have to change and the work that was still left for him to do. The baby he'd left in Rin's care back at the palace would have to become the most important thing in his life. Now that Kagome was gone, that child was all he had left of her and he'd be a fool not to cherish it.

 

 

“It's not your fault,” he determined decidedly, drawing Akira's attention once more. “Yeah it was your hand that killed her,” he reasoned, “but you weren't trying to kill her.” Seeing Akira's blank expression and sensing his confusion, he continued.

 

 

“You spent your whole life being blamed for things that weren't your fault right? I know what it feels like to have people hate you because of what you are. If anyone is to blame here it's me.

 

 

I spent a lot of my life hating people, but Kagome changed that. I'm a better person because of her, though I never admitted it to her of course. She had a big enough ego as it was.” Akira smiled shyly at the attempted joke.

 

 

“The point I'm trying to make, is that I'm going to be a better father to you. I screwed it up royally last time, but this time I'm going to make things right.”

 

 

Father and son locked eyes across the fading light of the fire and simultaneously nodded their heads in silent agreement. Though he still felt guilty for what'd happened, and knew it would take time to heal the wounds in his heart, Akira felt the faint glimmer of renewed hope. Perhaps the future might turn out different after all.

 

 

“You'd better get some sleep,” Inuyasha cautioned after a long moment of silence passed between them. His voice sounded rough and he took a swig of water to clear it before speaking again. “We gotta set out early for the well.”

 

 

Akira nodded complacently and curled his body forward to rest his forehead against his arms. Like his father, he preferred to sleep upright. Inuyasha watched the stead rise and fall of his shoulders for a moment before leaping silently into the branches above his head. Leaving one leg dangling, he tucked the other in close to his chest and rested his back against the broad trunk. His amber eyes drifted up through the dark leaves to what could be seen of the stars above and he silently sent Kagome the same promise he'd made their son.

 

 

I'm going to do better. I'll make it right. I have to.

 

 

 

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A gentle wind rustled through the vibrant green leaves of the Goshinboku tree. Beneath its outstretched branches stood a family of sorts - a proud, stoic demon lord, his human female companion, a hanyou child, and an infant. The breeze swirled around them in a gentle caress, sending their clothes billowing out from their bodies and tousling their hair in alternating clouds of silver and ebony. It wrapped around them in an invisible hug, offering its condolences for their loss. The tree's great branches seemed to dip as well, bowing out of respect for their grief.

 

 

Behind them stood two obedient servants, a mischievous toad-like imp and a kind-hearted, two-headed dragon with a saddle hitched to his back. They waited patiently as the family stared at the base of the tree in muted silence. Atop the freshly dug earth at their feet was laid a simple grave marker and a small collection of wild flowers. No one dared speak, fearful of being the lone voice that would make this moment real. Not one of them wanted to say goodbye so they just stared and contemplated what would become of them next.

 

 

The younger ones of course, having only just experienced death for the first time, still did not understand the gravity of the situation. The hanyou boy, with his tousled dark curls and large expressive eyes, peered up at his father inquisitively.

 

 

“Father…” he began tentatively, his voice soft but firm. The majestic demon did not respond and his face remained a mask of impassivity. Clearing his throat the boy went on, his gaze alternating from the grave to his father's features. “Is Mama coming back?”

 

 

It was such a simple question but it was also the most difficult one to answer. Rin offered Sesshomaru a sympathetic gaze and a sad smile. She didn't pity him being the one to have to explain the nuances of death and grief to his son, who was just barely six. She had been around that age when she herself had experienced death for the first time. Her family had been brutally slaughtered in the dead of night by a gang of roving bandits. The only reason she'd survived at all was because her brother had sacrificed himself and shielded her body beneath his own.

 

 

With no one to explain how she was supposed to react to such a traumatic event, she'd simply wandered off alone, mute and half dazed, her eyes stubbornly refusing to shed tears of grief. Sesshomaru had found her like that, or rather she'd found him - vulnerable and alone just as she was. He was suffering and she took it upon herself to care for him. He did not thank her for the attention and tried to push her away but she stubbornly returned to his side each day.

 

 

On the night when she was attacked and killed by rabid wolves, he'd brought her back to life without hesitation. To him it was inconsequential, but in truth he'd given her more than just breath in her lungs and blood in her veins. With one selfless gesture, a brief interlude from his detached solitary wanderings, he'd shown her that she was no longer alone.

 

 

There was more to life than grief, she'd realized, and there was still much to learn and see. She'd been a faithful companion of his ever since, and prided herself with the thought that perhaps she'd saved him as well. He'd given her life and she'd shown him how to care for someone other than himself. He'd protected her from the dangers of the world and she'd shown him unwavering love and loyalty in return. In many ways they'd saved each other and she wished she could save him now. Save him from the awkward yet necessary explanation of how Kagome died and why he could not save her with the fang that restored all life.

 

 

A heavy silence hung in the air as all ears tuned in to hear his answer, yet the demon lord remained stubbornly silent. Finally he bit out a curt “No”, his voice hard and unyielding. There was no compassion there, no sense of understanding or empathy for the boy's confusion.

 

 

Ronin's golden eyes widened at his father's response and shifted to focus resolutely on the stone marker. He read the words slowly to himself. He vaguely recognized the characters from the short-lived lessons he'd shared with his mother.

 

 

 

Kagome. Miko. Mate. Mother. Friend.

 

 

 

It was short and to the point, but it described her well. She'd been each of those things and all of them to the people who knew her. Though he didn't understand the meaning behind all the words just yet, Ronin was proud to have called such a woman `Mother'.

 

 

“I miss her,” he lamented softly, his shoulders drooping with the weight of his words and the finality of her departure. Emboldened by the confusing pain in his young heart, he blindly sought comfort. Reaching his hand up, he slipped it into his father's and waited.

 

 

Sesshomaru's body stood rigid as he stared in mute disbelief at the pile of rich earth that hid the body of his mate. She'd sacrificed herself to save him. He'd turned her away, denied his love for her, and turned deaf ears to her pleas for mercy and yet she'd still thought him worth saving. He had to wonder what purpose his life possibly held now that he had buried two women he loved. Like the arm that had been severed from his shoulder, her loss had carved a great chasm into his heart. There was an emptiness there that he didn't know how to fill.

 

 

He'd forgotten how to distance himself from others, how to survive solely on his own company. He contemplated leaving, going off to the farthest corners of the earth to find what he'd lost - that hard callousness that made his heart impenetrable. He longed for the feeling of disconnectedness that had protected him from pain and heartache for so many centuries. The warm pressure of a tiny hand in his brought him back to the present.

 

 

The boy's hand clung to his warm and alive; desperately seeking comfort and stability, asking for some reassurance that the pain would subside. The features of his face softened as he closed his hand around the boy's and gave it a gentle squeeze. This was why he must stay. Though his mate was gone from this world, a part of her was still very much alive in the boy at his side and the child in Rin's arms. He couldn't abandon them, or her, again. He had something much more important to take care of now than his own needs.

 

 

Keeping Ronin's hand enclosed within his own, Sesshomaru lowered himself to one knee so he could meet his gaze. Tears welled along the edges of the boy's large golden eyes but they did not fall to his cheeks. Fixing his son with an understanding look Sesshomaru turned his head to glance at the grave as well.

 

 

“Come, it is time to head home. We will return tomorrow.”

 

 

Ronin nodded his head and a smile lit his face as he wiped the last vestiges of tears from his eyes with the back of his hand. He had worried that this would be the last time he would ever be allowed to visit this place, but knowing they would return sent an incredible sense of relief coursing through his body.

 

 

He frowned slightly when his father's hand slipped away from his. The frown didn't remain long though as his body was quickly hoisted into the air and drawn to his father's chest. Instinctively he wrapped his small soft arms around his father's neck for support and nestled his head against the many layers of soft white silk that covered his body. He wore no armour today and Ronin relished in the opportunity to be this close to him. His father had never carried him like this. Though he tried, he couldn't hide the beaming grin that broke out across his face - so broad it made his cheeks ache.

 

 

Rin caught the boy's eye and gave him a knowing smile as well, telling him with the warmth in her dark eyes that everything would be okay. With awestruck eyes he gazed up at his father's face and noticed that it had changed. The lines and features remained the same but there was a softness there now, an openness that hadn't existed before. He wasn't sure what it meant, only that he liked the way his father's arm felt strong and powerful as it held him in place. It made him feel invincible and reassured him that no matter what, he would always be protected.

 

 

Leaning his head against the white silk covering his father's heart, Ronin pressed his ear to the fabric and listened to the rhythmic thrum. He closed his eyes to focus on the strong, reassuring pulse of life beneath his ear and knew with unwavering certainty that he was loved.

 

 

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Author's Note: I fixed up a few typos and a whole whack of grammatical errors...oh the pleasures of proof reading hahaha. Another update IS coming soon I'm just a little stumped as to where I want to go. I'm trying to move away from the sad but I need a segue. Any suggestions?

 

~ Langus