InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Sword of Supreme Conquest ❯ Chapter 40 ( Chapter 39 )

Oblivion. It wrapped him in its gentle caress; it lulled him into a peaceful, dreamless sleep with its ubiquitous atmosphere of peace and calm. He rested at the very center of its warm pool, his body weightless and motionless as he waited. What he was waiting for he wasn't sure. There were no easy answers in this place.

 

When his eyes cracked open they saw nothing. His ears, which strained in every direction, heard only silence. In this vast oblivion there existed only him. No glimmer of life showed through the impenetrable fog and for a moment a pang of fear washed over him - did death mean this? An eternity of loneliness? Was he cursed to float for all time in this pool of nothingness and remain ignorant to the fate of those he left behind? It was not a particularly tempting thought. It left a bitter taste in the back of his mouth and snapped the hairline thread of calm that'd sustained him until now.

 

Pushing past the fog that muddled his thoughts and made his movements slow, he forced his body to rouse itself and into a sitting position. His limbs felt heavy, every movement felt laboured and awkward, as if he were swimming in a pool of black tar.

After a moment of rest and a deep breath he opened his eyes fully. It was only then that he noticed he was no longer alone. His great golden orbs widened fractionally at the sight ahead of him.

 

“What do you want?” he demanded, his eyes narrowing in suspicion and his voice sounding overly loud in his ears. He'd expected it to echo but the thick fog had reflected it back making the air around him sound dead and impenetrable.

 

“Such insolence,” the demon scolded in return. “Do you not recognize me Sesshomaru? Have you ignored me for so long that you are now ignorant of my existence?”

 

Sesshomaru paused, his lips pressed firmly together in thought. The dog sitting across from him with his fang bared and crimson eyes glowering certainly resembled his demon form. But he'd already learned that he could not trust his eyes. This vision was likely just that, a hallucination conjured up by his addled brain. He paid the demon's remark no heed and audaciously repeated his previous question.

 

The dog snarled and lunged forward, stopping just short of where he sat. With his great maw mere inches from his face he gnashed and snarled, giving the taiyoukai a closer image of the hungry fangs sharp enough to devour him. Sesshomaru felt the steady gaze of the dog's blood red eyes pierce him to his very core. What was he looking for?

 

“It is you who wants, not I. You are weak, pathetic, you've let yourself be compromised.”

 

Sesshomaru scoffed at this remark and tossed his head to the side to avoid the demon's piercing gaze. “You know not of what you speak dog.”

 

Unhindered, the demon continued his cryptic diatribe. His tone was scornful and filled with contempt, all of it directed towards the taiyoukai seated before him.

 

“I know more than you realize fool. I am you. I am the source of your power. Without my strength you are nothing but a ningen, no better than the lowly humans we quash beneath our feet. Do you remember what it feels like to have their blood on your hands? Or have you castrated yourself for so long you no longer remember?”

 

The taiyoukai's lip lifted in a sneer and he regarded the dog with open contempt. He was not accustomed to being addressed so brazenly and it didn't sit well with his pride. “What is your point?” he demanded coolly, his anger steadily rising.

 

“You've become weak. You've forgotten how to listen to me. You do not heed my call when it is given. You've ignored me too many times and now your ignorance has nearly cost you your life.”

 

That gave him reason to pause. For a moment he let his mask of indifference slip, showing his genuine shock and surprise on his alabaster face. “I am not dead?”

 

“Obviously not. I would never allow myself be killed so foolishly by a selfish whelp like you. Never forget that it was I who brought you back from the brink. I will be the one who feeds your body with the strength it will need to heal, but my aid does not come without a price. What I would've done for you most obediently in the past will now cost you dearly.”

 

“What do you want from me?” Feeling shamed despite himself, Sesshomaru fixed the dog with a sincere look. He realized the truth the moment it was spoken. His inner demon, standing before him now in the form of this great dog, had saved his life. He owed it everything and could deny him nothing.

 

“You must become deserving once more of the title that was bestowed upon you at birth - Sesshomaru, the Killing Perfection. The only hope you have of restoring your name is by destroying those things which have weakened you.”

 

“I have no weaknesses.”

 

“Foolish pride will not serve you now boy. The woman, the ningen - get rid of her. She is the source of your failure. She is the one weakness with the power to utterly destroy you.”

 

Sesshomaru started, feeling his ire jet down his spine like a bolt of white hot lightning. How dare he speak of his mate with such disrespect! Was she not his mate as well? Had he not chosen her too? In the years since they'd been together his demon had never once opposed the match - but he realized now that perhaps he'd never bothered to listen to what he didn't want to hear. With his jaw clenched shut he muttered simply, “You are wrong.”

 

“Am I? I know many things you have forgotten, things which you choose now not to remember. These memories are so painful to you that you've blocked them out like a coward. Come, look into my eyes and I will show you what your mind has allowed you to forget. See what a fool she has made of you. Tell me then that I am wrong.”

 

Sesshomaru hesitated. While the urge to deny the demon his request purely out of spite was strong, his curiosity was stronger. What was it he couldn't remember? Had he truly blocked out these memories, as the demon implied? It didn't seem like him to do something so cowardly, but the possibility was certainly there. He'd once thought he'd never succumb to a panther demon as well, but today had proved him wrong.

 

His stomach tightened in anticipation, his mind not entirely sure it wanted to see what he'd tried so hard to forget, but once his eyes lifted and locked with that haunting red gaze, there was no turning back.

 

 

The scent of her tears hit him like a brick wall. His eyes snapped open, though he couldn't remember closing them, and stared hard at the small bundle of blankets nestled next to her. It stirred and a tiny fist popped out to grasp greedily at the air in search of freedom. Her scent was everywhere, and its warm familiarity comforted him. It was in the air, on the sheets, and even emanated from the tiny body nestled in the crook of her arm.

 

It was then that he noticed what was amiss, what he hadn't noticed before. The one scent that should've been there, entwined with hers, was absent. His eyes narrowed suspiciously at the child and his nostrils flared delicately. No, he wasn't mistaken. The child was not his.

 

“What have you done?” he heard himself ask her incredulously. No word spoken from her lips could've been enough to appease his burning rage in that moment. His claws flexed and he imbedded them into the palm of his hand so he did not slash them through the physical manifestation of her adultery. He could not feel the pain; his heart was already overwhelmed.

 

She was blubbering now, whispering her heartfelt apology over and over again, but he was deaf to the empty words spewing from her lips. They meant nothing to him now.

 

Why? He asked himself with a pang of real regret. “Why?” He repeated the question aloud, his tone demanding an answer from her that she could not give.

 

“Please...,” she whispered, “Please Sesshomaru I'm sorry. I can't-,” the rest of her words were swallowed by sobs and he turned his back to her. He didn't care to hear the rest. Abandoning her to her tears of guilt he felt his body move towards the door.

 

He was a silent observer. Though he'd attempted to speak he could not and when he tried to move his limbs they would not obey his commands. He was a voyeur, a silent witness to this horrific nightmare that was unknown to him, yet somehow vaguely familiar.

 

If this was real, if Kagome had indeed betrayed him, where was the child? He could not remember her ever speaking of any child but the one they shared and yet the child in that bed had not been theirs. Ronin's hair was dark and had been since birth and yet the babe's was silver?

 

This brief moment of passive reflection ended the moment he exited the room into the hallway. His eyes locked with the wide amber gaze belonging to his brother and he felt the rage explode within him, fresh and raw as if he were experiencing it for the first time.

 

The desire to spill Inuyasha's blood was so strong that he hardly realized he had his hand wrapped around the hanyou's throat, choking the life from his body, until his amber eyes began to roll towards the ceiling. He slackened his grip marginally and managed to snarl a few words through his tightly clenched jaw. “This ends now.”

 

He did not look back towards the nursery as he dragged the coughing, spluttering hanyou down the hall, but he didn't need to. The scent of her tears followed him all the way to the courtyard. As he moved with single-minded focus he couldn't help but wonder if it was for herself or the hanyou that she was weeping.

 

“Have you had enough or do you need to see more?”

 

Gone were the vacant courtyard and red-clad hanyou. Gone was the scent of her tears, and yet the bitter ache remained. The disturbing scene had been replaced by the dense fog and the unwelcome scowl of dog who claimed to be his demon half.

 

“How can I trust what my eyes have seen? I have no knowledge of these events. Inuyasha is not dead. That child does not exist. My mate does not carry the scent of guilt that lingers on a person after such a betrayal. What is it you are not showing me dog?”

 

“Silence you ungrateful cur! I have graciously spared you the shame of seeing your true cowardice till now. I believed you to be too proud to want to see what you became after that day. You allowed her to destroy you!

 

“Tell me, do you still wish to see such a thing? Will that be the only cause that will convince you to see reason and realize that I've been right all along? That this woman must be destroyed if you are to survive and thrive under the title that was your birthright?”

 

Sesshomaru did not hesitate a second time. Still recovering from the painful scene he'd just experienced, but curious to see what he still did not know, he answered.

 

“Show me.”

 

When he opened his eyes a second time it was not like before. Rather than taking part in a forgotten scene from his life he was shown snippets and images of days long forgotten. Just as he wrapped his mind around what was happening in one, it disappeared, only to be replaced by another equally disturbing scene.

 

He saw himself cast Kagome out of his house and was thankful that at least this time he was spared the scent of anguish laced with her tears.

 

Next he was standing over a crib, staring down at an innocent cherub face framed by silver hair. His claws extended as if to strike down the infant - a daily reminder that his mate had sought solace in the arms of his brother. But he couldn't do it. Angry, hurt and weak as he was, he could not bring himself to kill it because it reminded him of her.

 

Several scenes whirled by that depicted him looking more withdrawn and dour that ever before. He'd lost interest in life, or so it seemed, and cared little for anything or anyone. Even Rin, who'd always possessed the unique ability to brighten his moods, was unable to rouse him for his sombre disposition.

 

The shadow of the man he'd once been darkened after Inuyasha appeared carrying Kagome's body in his arms. He laid it like an offering on the steps leading up to his seat of power before disappearing into the crowd.

 

He watched how her death destroyed him in every way that a man can be broken. Seeing himself wander without direction from one day to the next he felt the pain acutely as if experiencing it anew. He was lost without her, a being without drive or purpose. The anger and her crime no longer mattered to him anymore. He dwelled endlessly on the fact that she was gone and there would never be an opportunity to make amends. She'd died believing he would never forgive her and what was worse, she'd died to save him.

 

He saw it now, the horrific scene that would take place in his future. His sons, he did not balk at the plural way he regarded them, stood around him - Ronin at his side and Akira (how did he know that name?) in front of him. In Akira's hands was a sword which he recognized as his own, fashioned from his fang to surpass those of his father. He saw the blade come down in slow motion, noted the look of rage on his son's face, and watched with abject horror as Kagome threw herself in front of it to shield him from the killing blow.

 

So this was how she'd died. Selfless to the bitter end, she'd sacrificed her life to save him. Foolish, stupid woman. He couldn't understand why she'd done it, why she'd given up everything to gain nothing.

 

He didn't have long to contemplate this before that scene too dematerialized into nothingness. The dense fog surrounded him once more and he glanced around anxiously for his guide. “What happened next?” he demanded urgently. The fog thinned to his left and the dog stepped forward slowly, regarding him sceptically.

 

“Why do you wish to know? Haven't you seen enough to be convinced that nothing good has come of your pairing?”

 

“Your explanation defies logic. You've shown that my mate betrays me, that she bore a child belonging to another man, that I cast her out only to have her return to sacrifice her life to save mine and yet I know these things to be untrue. My mate is alive and well, she has not abandoned me for another and there is no child named Akira. Explain yourself dog! How can any of what you've shown me could possibly be true?”

 

The dog shook its head and tsks disapprovingly. When he spoke his tone was filled with disappointment.

 

“You really are a worthless creature. All that I've shown you is real, I can assure you of that. At one time, this was your reality. But being the selfish, cunning creature that you are you decided it wasn't good enough. You desired something more and took it upon yourself to make it so.

 

“By taking the bastard child under your care you put an end to the chain of events which led to our mate's betrayal and her subsequent death. I warned you that everything had a price but you did not heed my call. Now you have lost a son and a brother as well. You have allowed two lives to be sacrificed to save one.

 

“Tell me Sesshomaru, was it worth it? Now that you know all that I know, can you still deny that that ningen woman is your weakness, that she will be responsible for your ultimate demise? As if today is not proof enough, remember all that I have shown you as well. Are you now willing to set her aside and reclaim the life that is yours for the taking, the life you were destined to lead since the day of your birth? Are you ready to once again walk the path of supreme conquest and rule over the world as the most powerful of demons?”

 

Sesshomaru wrestled quietly with his private thoughts, unsure what to believe. There were things he knew to be true, Kagome's unwavering loyalty among them, but he was still shaken by the raw emotion and pain that'd accompanied those lost memories. If she had left him at one time, would she do so again? And knowing this, should he set her aside as a means of self-preservation or continue on and pretend to be ignorant of what had come to pass? You have lost a son and a brother as well…what did he mean by that? He couldn't possibly be implying…

 

“You are wrong.” He spoke at last, the firmness of his voice betraying none of the questions or doubts racing through his mind.

 

“I cannot deny the things you have shown are…disturbing…but as you said, that reality is no longer mine. I cannot punish my mate for crimes she has not committed nor can I condemn my actions when they are not truly my own.

 

“Knowing what I know now does not change how I feel for her. She is mine and will remain so until the day she ceases to draw breath. Like you, her presence is a source of great power and strength. The desire to please her drives me to succeed just as the thirst for blood and victory drives you.

 

“I will not deny myself the right to enjoy what is mine, nor will I cast her away simply because I am told to do so. To obey you would imply that you are the strongest among us and ignores the fact that I learned to subdue you quite some time ago. Return me now, I am ready.”

 

The demon snarled and bared its dripping fangs in reply. With hackles raised and fur rigid he crouched low as if to lunge and barked ferociously at the taiyoukai. When Sesshomaru stood unflinching and unyielding in wake of this display, the great dog lowered his head with alacrity to bow in a show of submission.

 

“Forgive me master. It is I who was wrong.”

 

The dog turned its back and marched pointedly into the dense fog, disappearing almost instantly behind the white wall of nothingness. Sesshomaru's keen eyes watched for him to return but he did not. Instead, a wave of weariness crept over him so suddenly that he was helpless to resist it. Hardly realizing he was moving thus, he felt his body lay down once more atop the cold floor.

 

Hands braced at his sides, he stared up blankly at the nothingness that surrounded him as his golden eyes closed ever so slowly. Taking one slow breath followed by another he felt his body be sucked once more into the great void. He did not fear it and offered no resistance to the sickening wave of motion.

 

This time he knew what awaited him on the other side.

 

Author's Note: Hello! Remember me? The Author? No, I didn't die in a horrible train wreck and I haven't been living under a rock...I've just been busy...lame I know....I should've gone with the train wreck story...

I hope you like this shorter chapter. It's a little out there I know but please use your imagination...remember that thing? Yeah it!

I could've continued further with this chapter but then who knows when I would've posted it and I figured you guys deserved an update.

I'm incredibly sorry for the wait for this one. Now that I'm in grad school my goal is to get this fic done ASAP because frankly in about a month's time I'm not going to have enough time to eat and sleep let alone write...

So please bear with me and if you want a faster update feed me some inspiration through your wonderful reviews. Thank you kindly!

Until next time...