InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Tale of the Twins ❯ Chapter Thirteen: Conflict Resolved ( Chapter 13 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Chapter Thirteen

Conflict Resolved

--Change of Prose—

I needed time to think clearly—time I wasn't so certain that any of us had. It took me forever to come to a simple conclusion, and this was so complicated. I needed to be rational, but for some reason, I just couldn't be. I wanted to be irrational, because it was easier. I wanted to run away from my problems, because it was too difficult to confront them. I give up easily, like most youkai. I saw no point in fighting if I couldn't win, so I gave up. I was giving up this mental battle too—but I would fight for a little while before I relented.

Naraku and Nanako. Their names were even similar-sounding. They also looked better together, and she was a girl—and did not desire otherwise, like me. Naraku had wanted a woman, had he not?

I was so stuck on that. He had wanted a woman. But he liked me for me, didn't he? Yes, he had stayed with me for so long. And pestered me incessantly about becoming female again.

Naraku was right, though. I was putting everyone in danger by staying male. We were going through all this trouble, and I was complicating things. But I wasn't going to change. I wanted to stay male. I liked this body, and I felt comfortable in it like I never had before. I had felt wrong when I was a girl. Just… wrong. Like wearing clothing that was slightly too small or too large: wrong. One could also equate it to sticking one's head into a shark's mouth—horribly wrong.

I didn't want to return to something that I hated so much. But that was selfish, was it not? That was what Naraku said. He had said that I was selfish. But wasn't my happiness important? I wished that there was a way that we could compromise. But how? Even if we could, he and Nanako were…

They had to be. They had a history together, did they not? And she obviously seemed to want him. Perhaps… And he had evaded my question as well. That was proof enough, wasn't it?

I sighed deeply.

I felt miserable and utterly alone—like I hadn't felt in decades. The funny thing about contentment is that it is easy to grow accustomed to, whereas sadness is not. It doesn't matter how satisfied with life one might be—something like this happens, and that period of content only makes the sadness harder to manage.

I hadn't been this miserable since Inuyasha had split open my haori and I had woken up staring at him oh-so long ago. That was how this had all began, after all—back when Naraku had seen me in the woods through the eyes of his puppet.

I sat down slowly, resting my back against a tree. What should I do? Where should I go? I didn't know.

I closed my eyes. I had no idea. Could I really abandon the children? Going would only put them at risk. What about Rin? She would be at risk as well, would she not? But it still felt wrong. But I couldn't possibly go with them and endanger everyone. But I also couldn't leave them. Well, the more I thought about, the more I thought… Yes, I could leave them. A part of me would die inside, but I could.

Except that… That part of me that would die—my hope, my passion, my devotion, and my love—was what was worth living for, was it not? So, either way, I would be miserable.

I would be miserable if I stayed with them because we would be in danger. And if I were a woman, I'd be miserable because of that. And if I left, I would be content because I would remain a man. However, everyone that meant anything to me would be out of my reach—possibly forever.

There wasn't an in-between, was there?

I kept trying to find that in-between, gray area, but I couldn't seem to locate it. Any time I thought I had, I thought of something obviously wrong with any of the ideas that came to mind, and so I had gotten no where in this struggle.

I kept second-guessing myself and wondering, but I came to no real conclusions. I just succeeded in sinking deeper into the waters of misery. One of the gods really must hate me.

Not that I could really blame them, of course.

--Normal Prose—

Naraku followed Sesshoumaru's aura. He had landed on the beach and had ventured in to the deciduous forest, so Naraku followed him. Rin had no trouble keeping the children on the beach, as they were only too happy to kick off their shoes and run around on the sand and the shallower waters. He sort of envied them that. Their lives were so carefree.

He was surprised that Sesshoumaru wasn't moving farther away from him. He had to have smelled him by now—unless all of the other unfamiliar scents were overwhelming him. Regardless, he made no effort to disguise his approach. Doing so might provoke the dog, and he did not want to chase him all across Asia.

When he saw him, he understood why he hadn't moved. Sesshoumaru was asleep. By the looks of things, he had been upset and had mentally exhausted himself. Despite how peaceful he looked, if Naraku got too close, Sesshoumaru would automatically lash out. Sesshoumaru was in unfamiliar territory, and would register everything as a threat right now.

“Sesshoumaru,” he said.

The dog stirred slightly, but didn't move.

“Sesshoumaru,” he repeated, taking a dangerous step further, closer to the youkai's sleeping wrath. Said youkai's eyes flickered, then closed again. One more step forward. “Sesshoumaru…” Saying his name would probably calm him down—something familiar, anyway, might prevent a sudden attack.

Sesshoumaru's eyes suddenly snapped open, eyes glowing red, lips curled in a snarl. Naraku took a step back unintentionally. He had seen Sesshoumaru angry plenty of times before, and for many reasons. However, he had never seen him just wake up angry and ready to transform. This was Sesshoumaru at his most primal.

Sesshoumaru's eyes faded to gold as his consciousness rushed to the forefront of his mind, pushing down his instincts. He blinked, trying to register what he was seeing. Sesshoumaru looked away. Naraku closed the distance between them and kneeled down to look him in the eye. “I don't care about Nanako,” Naraku said flatly.

Sesshoumaru blinked, but said nothing.

“She's just the captain of the ship; that's all. Just a tool to get us from one place to another. She might be attracted to me, but feelings are not mutual.” He touched Sesshoumaru's cheek gently. “And my relationship with Nanako has never been more than close acquaintances.”

“How close?”

“Close enough to know her well enough to know that I want nothing to do with her personally.”

“And before you knew her?”

He sighed. “Sesshoumaru. Nanako and I have never had sex. We never will.” He moved and sat beside him. “What else is bothering you?”

He was silent for a moment. “Do I cause you trouble?”

Naraku was tempted to be flippant, but decided that now was not the time. “Not particularly. Except for times like this.”

Sesshoumaru looked away. “Am I causing trouble by staying with you now—putting everyone in danger?”
“Yes.”

He looked down.

“We can resolve this, you know.”
He looked back at him. “How?”

Naraku stood up. “I'm not certain.” He looked at Sesshoumaru, an older but renovated idea sparking. “What if we ay that you and I are relatives? The twins call me `father' so we can say that I am the biological parent, and you are… The mother's brother? We can say that she passed away…”

It wasn't all that far from the truth, anyway. Sesshoumaru rose to his feet, suddenly feeling infinitely better. “No, let us say that I am your cousin, which makes more sense. Rin can be my daughter, and the rest of my `family' is dead.” That was also mostly true.

Naraku started to walk away. When Sesshoumaru hadn't moved, he turned back. He grabbed on to his lover's wrist and tugged him gently forward. Sesshoumaru seemed strangely unsure of himself, though. “Is there something else?”

“It bothers me that I had never considered this.”

He almost laughed. “You were too close to the problem; that's all.”

When Sesshoumaru started walking, his hand slipped away, brushing against Sesshoumaru's palm. Sesshoumaru's movement was quick and he had ensnared his hand in his in an instant. “Don't let me do that again. I almost left all of you.” Sesshoumaru suddenly jerked Naraku backwards. He hadn't been expecting it, so he half-fell as he was turned back around, but Sesshoumaru caught him with his other hand. The dog kissed the spider. The kiss was full of frustration and unreleased sexual tension. It had been days. He wasn't used to “days.” Only hours. “Don't let go of me again.” He dropped Naraku's hand and his fingers trailed to his obi.

“The children are waiting…”

“They can wait.”

He pulled at the sash, untying it. He let it fall to the forest floor. Naraku's gaze darted back in the general direction of the beach. “I'm sure that Nanako and her crew will come ashore as well…”

“There's a town nearby. They'll go there.” Naraku had thought that was a human town. He was a bit confused, because youkai typically didn't live together, except under extenuating circumstances. Then again, it was probably a youkai pirate town. Nanako had mentioned something like that. However, Sesshoumaru wasn't about to give him time to ponder it.

“But…”

“I don't care if that bitch sees us.” Sesshoumaru started pulling off Naraku's haori. “You should be more compliant to my wishes.”

Naraku rolled his eyes. How could he possibly be any more compliant than he already was? “Sesshoumaru…”
“Fuck me.”

“Sesshoumaru, there's too much we need to do right now. I left the twins on the beach—“
Sesshoumaru dropped his garments on the ground unceremoniously. “I'm sure they're quite happy there.”

“Well, Rin is—“

“I'm sure she is quite happy as well.”

Naraku was grasping at straws. “Iria and Jaken will be in a panic.”
This only seemed to please Sesshoumaru. “Good.” He began undressing himself. Naraku seemed to have no way out of this. He had sort of been enjoying not having to exert himself on a nightly/daily basis. He actually got to sleep, woke up at a decent hour, and…

Sesshoumaru was naked. Oh, hell. Fuck his sleeping schedule.

Better yet, fuck this beautiful creature.