InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Tears of a Broken Soul ❯ Meeting ( Chapter 1 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: celestialmoon 
New beginnings and meeting a new and interesting friend.
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst | Type: Songfic | Uploaded On: 02.28.2005 | Updated On: 03.24.2005 | Pages: 6 | Words: 6.2K | Visits: 159 | Status: Work In Progress
New beginnings and meeting a new and interesting friend.
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst | Type: Songfic | Uploaded On: 02.28.2005 | Updated On: 03.24.2005 | Pages: 6 | Words: 6.2K | Visits: 159 | Status: Work In Progress
Ch. 1
New Beginnings
"Now I will tell you what I've done for you
50 thousand tears I've cried
Screaming deceiving and bleeding for you
And you still won't hear me
Don't want your hand this time I'll save myself
Maybe I'll wake up for once
Not tormented daily defeated by you
Just when I thought I'd reached the bottom
I'm dying again,"
Every one was drawn into the mellow, lulling voice coming from the arena stage. There were four groups walking to the sound of the voice and the screaming guitars with it. The soft sounds of keys were little tinkling to the demon's ears. Drums were more audible to the humans, who were too busy concentrating on the voice to really register anything else. It was soothing and angry with an undertone of loss and despair.
"I'm going under
Drowning in you
I'm falling forever
I've got to break through
I'm going under,"
Finally the door opened and the house lights flashed once in their eyes, hiding the owner of the voice from view. With one look, the groups of artists were mesmerized with the four women on stage. A raven-haired neko demoness pounded furiously at the black-silver swirled drum set. Another girl, slightly younger looking, tapped the keyboard with her fingers. Eyes closed, she seemed lost in the melody. The girl closer to the front of the stage, plucked at the strings of her guitar with vigor. Her lips were pressed against the head of the microphone as she slid her voice into the song with subtlety. The final figure stood at the head of the stage, leading her band as she would an army. With confidence and determination, she played her bass and sang clearly into the microphone. Words of defeat and struggle echoed through the hall.
The groups sat down mechanically, as if in a trance and commanded to do so. They were spellbound to the words and music. Trapped in a dream-like state where you were helpless to do anything but listen to the haunting words.
"Blurring and stirring the truth and the lies
So I don't know what's real and what's not
Always confusing the thoughts in my head
So I can't trust myself anymore
I'm dying again
I'm going under
Drowning in you
I'm falling forever
I've got to break through,"
The red head voicing her troubles into the microphone had her eyes closed and her body covered in a loose sweat suit. The males could only stare at the beauty of her face and the splendor of her companions. The girl on lead stopped the stroke of her fingers to the bass and removed her jacket showing a tight black tank top underneath. They realized the others were similarly clad, in sweat pants and tank tops. But the one on electric had on these tight black pants with various zippers and a chain hanging from her side. Two ribbon-looking straps of black material criss-crossed behind her thighs and lightly tapped her as she moved. They were a sight to behold and talent to drown in.
"So go on and scream
Scream at me I'm so far away
I won't be broken again
I've got to breathe I can't keep going under
I'm dying again
I'm going under
Drowning in you
I'm falling forever
I've got to break through
I'm going under
I'm going under
I'm going under…"
With a smile the singer pulled her head away from the microphone, letting the sound trail off as the music stilled and silence gathered in the hall.
The four girls on stage finally registered the presence of watchers. They all froze and stared at the audience. The one on electric set her guitar on the stand off to the side and hopped off the stage. She nonchalantly walked up to the red head standing in the isle and gave him a quiet hug accompanied by a small smile.
It was a downhill from there.
Screamed accusations erupted from the girls on stage, but the lead just sat down on the ledge with her legs hanging lazily off the side. She decided to people watch.
Various males from the seats closest to the pair shouted loudly. Mainly a black haired tall muscled boy. He didn't look any older than a high schooler, but something about him just screamed ancient. Another, who was just screaming anything that popped out of his head, also had red hair but done less…elegantly. He seemed sluggish in his movements, but he radiated strength, mainly from his hands. The final member who just stood off to the side stared disdainfully at everything in sight, but his eyes softened a little at his friends.
They're not one of the groups, Shinjiru concluded. The record labels decided to have a joint tour. Not only to show off their best acts, but also to show that they had no ill will to each other. To them, by letting their best go on tour together, they were showing their trust that no one would harm their acts. Funny really… Shinjiru chuckled.
"Now." Shinjiru said getting the attention of all the occupants. Standing up, she swept her eyes across the faces. "Why don't we all sit down and get to know each other," At the disgusted look the short spiky-haired man shot everyone, she added, "Or at least everyone's names."
Everyone moved closer to the stage and sat grouped according to record label. Shinjiru and her friends sat on the stage, taking up her pose.
"Now why don't I start? I'm Shinjiru Inochi, lead singer and bassist of Chaotic Times." Gesturing to her left, "This is my sister Sitora Inochi she plays electric guitar and sings back-up." Gesturing to her right at the other two, she finished, "These two are our friends, Hitohana Kaiku on drums. And Kasou Mori on instrumental." They finished with a small wave.
"What do you mean instrumental?" A black-haired girl asked from the front. She looked frail, but she radiated pure power. Miko power.
"She plays whatever we need played that no one else plays. Percussion." Sitora said quickly. She was uncomfortable with so many unfamiliar demons and humans so near. But only Shinjiru could read her body language better than Kurama, her mate.
"Well, I'm InuYasha, I sing lead. This," He said pointing to the line of humans at his right. "Is Kagome on keys, Sango on electric, Miroku on bass, and Shippo on drums. We are Seichirou." They all stood and bowed as they were introduced.
"I am Naraku, I sing lead for the group Damasu. These are my band mates. Kikyo on electric, Kagura on bass, and Kanna on drums." The man who spoke, Naraku, had an evil aura to him. It seemed that his 'band mates' didn't like him as much as he thought.
"Yo. I'm Yusuke, this is Hiei, Kurama, and Kuwabara. We don't sing, but Sitora invited us." He said casually. Kurama and Kuwabara greeted everyone with a hello, but Hiei just 'hn'ed and turned away.
"Right…Anyway." Shinjiru said as she looked at Sitora pointedly.
"I'm Sesshoumaru. I sing lead and play bass for Western Rulers. This is Ah on electric, Un on percussion, and Rin on drums." Sesshoumaru said quickly. He said the names with an icy tone and straight face. But he said Rin's name with affection. Shinjiru wondered at this. Odd, she thought.
"Well, now that that's over with. I think we should give everyone a sample of our talents. Seeing as you've already seen ours." Shinjiru smiled sweetly. She really wanted to see what she had to perform with, just in case she had to up her own performance to make up for anything they were lacking. "Whoever wants to go first can just get up here and use our instruments." She finished as she and her band hopped off the stage to sit down as InuYasha's group stepped up.
After some arguments as to what should be sung, finally a decision was made and everyone was ready.
"Dead I am the one, exterminating son
Slipping through the trees, strangling the breeze
Dead I am the sky, watching angels cry
While they slowly turn, conquering the worm,"
The group on the stage obviously preferred rock music to anything else. Hard, loud rock. Shinjiru winced as the music stung her sensitive ears. She wasn't the only one. The other demons off stage were also trying not to cover their ears. How the inu and kitsune on stage could bear it was a mystery.
"Dig through the ditches,
Burn through the witches
I slam in the back of my
Dragula
Dig through the ditches,
Burn through the witches
I slam in the back of my
Dragula,"
Overall, Shinjiru had to praise them. Though the music was deafening, they worked and preformed well together. InuYasha's voice, though raspy, suits the lyrics and music well. His band mates played their instruments with precision.
"Dead I am the pool, spreading from the fool
Weak and want you need, nowhere as you bleed
Dead I am the rat, feast upon the cat
Tender is the fur, dying as you purr
Dig through the ditches,
Burn through the witches
I slam in the back of my
Dragula
Dig through the ditches,
Burn through the witches
I slam in the back of my
Dragula
Do it baby, Do it baby
Do it baby, Do it baby
Burn like an animal
Dead I am the knife, dig into the skin
Knuckle crack the bone, 21 to win
Dead I am the dog, hound of hell you cry
Devil on your back, I can never die
Dig through the ditches,
Burn through the witches
I slam in the back of my
Dragula
Dig through the ditches,
Burn through the witches
I slam in the back of my
Dragula,"
Shinjiru watched as InuYasha sung his heart out. If he always sings like that he's gonna sing out a lung. She thought with a small chuckle.
"Do it baby, Do it baby
Do it baby, Do it baby
Burn like an animal
Dig through the ditches,
Burn through the witches
I slam in the back of my
Dragula
Dig through the ditches,
Burn through the witches
I slam in the back of my
Dragula
Dig through the ditches,
Burn through the witches
I slam in the back of my
Dragula"
They bowed at the light applause. Shinjiru looked around. Either everyone else had already heard them before or no one else enjoyed it. She shrugged it off.
Next on the stage was Naraku's group. They seemed to sneer at the instruments, like they weren't good enough. Shinjiru growled lowly. Ungrateful idiots.
"Drowning deep in my sea of loathing
Broken your servant I kneel
It seems what's left of my human side
Is slowly changing in me
Looking at my own reflection
When suddenly it changes
Violently it changes (oh no)
There is no turning back now
You've woken up the demon in me,"
Shinjiru cringed at his word choice and how he seemed to make the air feel stale. This guy had major control issues and she could tell he loved to make women submit. What male demon doesn't? But this was the kind of submitting that happens when you accept death. Shinjiru shuddered. Disturbing…
"Get up, come on get down with the sickness
Get up, come on get down with the sickness
Get up, come on get down with the sickness
Open up your hate, and let it flow into me
Get up, come on get down with the sickness
You mother get up come on get down with the sickness
You fucker get up come on get down with the sickness
Madness is the gift that has been given to me"
Shinjiru looked at everyone out of the corner of her eyes. No one else seemed as disturbed as she was. Sure they were bothered, but not to the extent that she was. They seemed to, on some level, ignore it. But it was harder for her to brush his stage presence away. She was just happy that he wasn't playing her bass.
"I can see inside you, the sickness is rising
Don't try to deny what you feel
(Will you give in to me?)
It seems that all that was good has died
And is decaying in me
It seems you're having some trouble
In dealing with these changes
Living with these changes (oh no)
The world is a scary place
Now that you've woken up the demon in me,"
The visual images came unbidden to her mind. The changes he was speaking of made her cringe. The image of a human morphing into some hideous monster, but not all demons was bad, so his analogy was wrong. At least to her it was.
"Get up, come on get down with the sickness
Get up, come on get down with the sickness
Get up, come on get down with the sickness
Open up your hate, and let it flow into me
Get up, come on get down with the sickness
You mother get up come on get down with the sickness
You fucker get up come on get down with the sickness
Madness is the gift that has been given to me
Get up, come on get down with the sickness
Get up, come on get down with the sickness
Get up, come on get down with the sickness
Open up your hate, and let it flow into me
Get up, come on get down with the sickness
You mother get up come on get down with the sickness
You fucker get up come on get down with the sickness
Madness is the gift that has been given to me"
Shinjiru tried to stop the bile rising in her throat, but it couldn't be stopped. Someone's presence behind her made her look up.
"Do not concentrate on the words. He is using some kind of magic to dispel us. He doesn't like the threat we pose to his popularity, however fleeting it may be." It was Sesshoumaru. His voice brought her out of the spell and instantly she felt more at ease.
"Thank you." She said quietly. He gave her a small nod and sat down next to her. She could see her sister eyeing his spot with curiosity.
"(And when I dream)
(And when I dream)
(And when I dream)
(And when I dream)
No mommy, don't do it again
Don't do it again
I'll be a good boy
I'll be a good boy, I promise
No mommy don't hit me
Why did you have to hit me like that, mommy?
Don't do it, you're hurting me
Why did you have to be such a bitch
Why don't you,
Why don't you fuck off and die
Why can't you just fuck off and die
Why can't you just leave here and die
Never stick your hand in my face again bitch
FUCK YOU
I don't need this shit
You stupid sadistic abusive fucking whore
How would you like to see how it feels mommy
Here it comes, get ready to die,"
It takes a sick man to be able to stomach those words. Shinjiru thought to her sister.
*You're telling me. Without Kurama here I would have fallen to the spell like you seemed to be doing. That's why no one else is falling. They all have their own distractions. Your lucky Sesshoumaru noticed before I did. I would've taken the bastard's head off if you'd have fallen.* Shinjiru heard the still lingering threat in Sitora's voice.
I'll be fine once the song's over. But I wonder what Western Lords are gonna sing? Shinjiru wondered absently through the link.
*I don't know, but at least you won't have to worry about being lulled into a dark spell.* Sitora finished, cutting the link.
"Get up, come on get down with the sickness
Get up, come on get down with the sickness
Get up, come on get down with the sickness
Open up your hate, and let it flow into me
Get up, come on get down with the sickness
You mother get up come on get down with the sickness
You fucker get up come on get down with the sickness
Madness has now come over me"
Very light clapping ensued their departure from the stage. Shinjiru clapped just to seem like she had paid attention the whole time. The lead singer smirked at her as if he'd known that she almost fell. It made her sick.
Sesshoumaru getting up from next to her startled her. He smirked down at her, making her heart shudder in her chest. Shrugging it off, she sat back to enjoy the show. This should be good, she said to herself, not expecting to get a reply.
~Yes it will.~ Sesshoumaru smiled lightly down at her from over his shoulder as he pulled her favorite bass from the stand. It was completely black, except for the green that ran down the tip like blood oozing from a wound. She had the band name engraved on the inside. She got that the day they were signed.
"It's all the same, only the names will change
Everyday it seems we're wasting away
Another place where the faces are so cold
I'd drive all night just to get back home,"
The chimes in the background and the light strumming his fingers made against the guitar strings made her shiver. When his voice came through the speakers she smiled widely and leaned forward to enjoy the entire show.
"I'm a cowboy, on a steel horse I ride
I'm wanted dead or alive
Wanted dead or alive
Sometimes I sleep, sometimes it's not for days
And the people I meet always go their separate ways
Sometimes you tell the day
By the bottle that you drink
And times when you're all alone all you do is think,"
The words he sung spoke of experience. Of sitting against the window of the tour bus and just watching the road pass you by. The way his voice spoke of the days and nights, reminding her of the past and present. The others on stage and in the room disappeared and her vision narrowed to just him. His voice told her volumes about his past and everything that only lovers would know. Truth be told that thought appealed to her, very much.
"I'm a cowboy, on a steel horse I ride
I'm wanted dead or alive
Wanted dead or alive
I walk these streets, a loaded six string on my back
I play for keeps, 'cause I might not make it back
I been everywhere, still I'm standing tall
I've seen a million faces an I've rocked them all,"
Just from hearing that little piece, she could tell he was tortured. The days of demon's past troubled his mind and those days he longed for. For just a taste of the fresh clean air and the blooming trees. Days of old where you had to prove yourself or fall to someone's lust for strength. But he radiated strength, like he was the epitome of strength.
"I'm a cowboy, on a steel horse I ride
I'm wanted dead or alive
I'm a cowboy, I got the night on my side
I'm wanted dead or alive
Wanted dead or alive"
Shinjiru clapped enthusiastically. That was the greatest song she'd ever heard, with the exception of her own songs, of course. Sesshoumaru walked off the stage and toward her. She watched every one of his movements, cat-like and graceful. He strode with a purpose and fluid movements, like walking on air.
"Did you enjoy that?" His silky voice whispered in her ear. She tried to contain the shiver that coursed her body, but to no avail. She just nodded weakly, not trusting her voice not to give away her thoughts and emotions. "I thought you would." He finished as he sat down.
"Well, now that that's over with. Why don't we all go to our hotel rooms and settle in? We'll see you guys in the morning!" She said as everyone filed out of the building and off to wherever they were staying.
~*~*~*~
"So…What was going on between you and Sesshoumaru?" Kasou asked as she lounged on Shinjiru's bed. The room wasn't extravagant, like the record label insisted she should get. Sometimes she preferred to sit in a stiff hotel bed and sit up all night listening to sirens cause you're in the 'bad' part of town. She had been told she was nuts many times, this just proved it.
"What do you mean? I wasn't aware that anything was to be mistaken for 'going on'." Shinjiru said looking at her band mates questioningly. They sweat dropped and let the accusations fly.
"What?! Your kidding me!" Hito yelled.
"There was obviously something 'going on'." Kasou said with her fingers making quotations.
"You cannot honesty tell me you weren't captured by his song." Hito accused.
"And what about the whispers he was telling you? No guy just whispers something in your ear without really knowing you." Kasou said exasperatedly.
"She is attracted to the guy." Sitora called from the door. "It's easy to see." She finished walking in and plopping down on the bed.
"Easy for you to say. You two are practically twins and know each other better than the backs of your hands." Hito said with an accusing finger pointing to the two sisters.
Shinjiru shrugged it off with a bright smile and went back to her laptop. She was writing lyrics for the way that Kagome girl sang and what happened outside the building as the group was waiting for a ride.
~*Flashback*~
She watched Kagome hugging the jacket closer to herself. Tonight was especially cold and just a bit nippier than usual. But what caught her eye was the way Kagome would stare at InuYasha as he talked to Miroku that made her interested. So many free emotions flashed through her eyes, it was amazing. The most prominent being the jealousy that enveloped her blue irises when Kikyo walked up to InuYasha.
Shinjiru watched mildly pissed at the half-breed as two tears fell from her eyes and his name fell from her lips in a whisper.
"InuYasha…" Kagome then turned her teary eyes from the sight to digest his next words.
"Do you want to get together sometime?" InuYasha asked Kikyo with no regard to the knife he twisted into the heart he held in his palm.
Shinjiru sent a death glare to InuYasha as she walked to the girl trying to quiet her sobs.
"Hey." She said quietly. She watched Kagome swipe at her eyes and turn around with a sad smile.
"Hi." She said quietly. So many details of her life were in her eyes. Grief, longing, pain, and most of all love. She had obviously loved the hanyou for years and never once had it acknowledged or returned.
"Don't feel so blue. With someone as wonderful as you, you deserve better than second place." Shinjiru whispered. Kagome's eyes widened, before softening with gratefulness.
"Thank you." She said, her smile slightly less pained.
"Thank me tomorrow." Shinjiru said before walking away, catching Sesshoumaru's eyes as she hopped into the cab and drove to her hotel.
~*End Flashback*~
She hadn't been able to think of anything else since and no matter how much she tried, she could do anything else. So after two agonizing hours of trying to distract herself, she finally got out her laptop and started to type down some lyrics of what she saw in Kagome's eyes.
"Hey guys, do you thing that we could have this ready for tomorrow?" Shinjiru asked letting her friends see what was written on her laptop. They smiled at one another before nodding. Immediately they set to work on the harmonies and beats to go with the lyrics, going by what Shinjiru said.
"It has to be deep, not sad, just accusing."
Finally at midnight, they had a completed song.
"I want Kagome to come up and sing duet with me. Is that cool?" Shinjiru asked.
"Yeah." Everyone agreed before literally dropping dead on their beds, asleep.
~*~*~*~
"Hey Kagome!" Shinjiru called from the stage.
"Kami, how early are you here every morning?" Kagome asked as she hopped up onto the stage.
"Whenever I get up. I've never been a heavy sleeper. Anyway, come here, I have a favor to ask." Shinjiru asked from her spot by the guitar stand.
"What's up?" Kagome asked. Shinjiru handed her the penned down lyrics, the original.
"I want you to sing this with me this morning. I know it's not much, but I figured it would help you feel better." Kagome's silence made her unsure. She thought Kagome would yell at her for butting in, but Kagome's tears were less than expected.
"Now can I thank you?" She asked. Shinjiru smiled as Kagome hugged her. "This means so much. Can I have this copy?"
"Yeah. No problem. I figured you could use a break from your key board today, at least for a little while." Shinjiru said as she rubbed her hands along Kagome's spine.
"Oi! Did we miss somethin'?" InuYasha's gruff voice called from the door. Both girls on the stage giggled.
"No." The said as they sat down on the edge to discuss what she would be singing.
~*~*~*~
After the rest of the bands had decided to join them, Kagome asked Shinjiru if they could go up there.
"If you want to sing now, that's fine." Shinjiru shrugged it off, sending a message to her sister, mentally, to prepare the group.
They headed up the stairs backstage to give Kagome time to gather her courage. After a few encouragements, they walked out on stage, a confident aura about them.
"Ready?" Shinjiru asked Kagome. She could feel Sesshoumaru's curious eyes on her, but ignored it. This needed her attention, her full attention. At Kagome's nod, she signaled the band.
Kagome: "There were places we would go at midnight
There were secrets that nobody else would know
There's a reason but I don't know why
I don't know why
I don't know why
I thought they all belonged to me"
Shinjiru didn't know why Kagome didn't sing, she had a wonderful voice. Even though, she hadn't really sung the song, it was as if the rhythm came naturally to her. She fit the words perfectly and suited the harmony exceptionally well.
All: "Who's that girl?
Where's she from?
No she can't be the one
That you want
That has stolen my world
It's not real
It's not right
It's my day
It's my night
By the way
Who's that girl livin' my life?
Sitora: (Oh no
Livin' my life)"
Shinjiru focused on the audience's reaction. Most of them were mesmerized, but InuYasha was surprised and a little blown away. Shinjiru could just imagine his thoughts, 'My Kagome is actually voicing her displeasure of me.' But more stupid. More like him with more of his vocabulary.
Shin: "Seems like everything's the same around me
Then I look again and everything has changed
I'm not dreaming
So I don't know why
I don't know why
I don't know why
She's everywhere I want to be
All: Who's that girl?
Where's she from?
No she can't be the one
That you want
That has stolen my world
It's not real
It's not right
It's my day
It's my night
By the way
Who's that girl livin' my life?"
Shinjiru smiled at the look of pleasure on Sesshoumaru's face as the half-breed walked out. I just called him half-breed? Shinjiru shrugged it off, the only people allowed in her mind were Sitora because she was her sister, and Sesshoumaru because…Well she didn't really know, but having him in her brain felt…interesting.
~Likewise, Shin.~ Sesshoumaru's silky voice floated through her thoughts.
Sitora: "I'm the one who made you laugh
Who made you feel and made you sad
I'm not sorry
For what we did
For who we were
I'm not sorry
I'm not her
All: Who's that girl?
Where's she from?
No she can't be the one
That you want
That has stolen my world
It's not real
It's not right
It's my day
It's my night
By the way
Who's that girl livin' my life?
Sitora: (Oh no
Livin' my life)"
Silent tears had started to stream down Kagome's cheeks as soon as InuYasha walked out, Kikyo chasing after him. InuYasha doesn't deserve her tears. He doesn't deserve her.
*It's not our place.* Sitora's voice reminded her.
I know. I just wish she could see her situation through another's eyes. It would be so much clearer.
*But it wouldn't change how she feels. There's no cure for a broken heart. Only painkillers to dull the heartache.* Sitora spoke wisely.
Time. Comfort. Someone to listen. Shinjiru agreed thoughtfully.
*Keep out. Let her decide. If she comes to you for advice, speak properly, but don't push her in any direction.* Sitora finished.
Thanks. I knew you were good for something.
*Yeah, yeah.*
"Oh Shin…What do I do?" Kagome cried breathlessly. Shinjiru hugged her.
"I'm not gonna tell you to let him go or even to chase after him. That decision is yours and yours alone. You know what your heart wants, let it show you the way." Shinjiru whispered as she released Kagome. Kagome's eyes were grateful as she smiled warmly.
"Thank you. You'll never know how much you've helped me see this for what it truly is." Kagome gave Shinjiru one last hug before walking off stage to think alone, of feelings only solitude could reveal.
"Alright…Who's next?" Shinjiru asked as she hopped off stage. Luckily Damasu wasn't present and Kikyo had just run after the half-breed, so no one was getting possessed today!
"Well, seeing as how the half-breed is missing two of his members, we'll go. I wanted to test out a new song today anyway." Sesshoumaru replied nonchalantly as he rose from his seat and made his way to the stage, brushing past Shinjiru on his way.
Shinjiru shivered at the feather light touch, but sat down as he and his group readied their instruments. With a small smirk in her direction they began to play.
"I am your spoken truth
I am the lies in you
I'm gonna make you shine in everything you do
I am your lighted way
And I'm your darkest day
I'm here to help you see you can rely on me
Just consider me your friend
I am until the end
Can I guarantee you life?
I don't think I can"
Though the words were of confusion and longing, Shinjiru returned them wholeheartedly. Their situation was so confusing. She felt a deep connection to him, but for some reason, a dark shadow veiled their fates and a lingering sadness kept her heart from taking the plunge. This was the one time the unknown frightened her.
"This isn't the life for me
This isn't the way I want to be
And let me tell you
Death will come when I'm good and ready
I am your peace of mind
Confusing all your time
I'm running through your veins, I am your pain
I thought by now you'd know
I'll never let you go
It's time you recognize I am the devil's eyes"
His words were a warning to her should they ever uncover what laid ahead. The roads were treacherous and he knew that everything about him wasn't the safest. The words were fair warning to the risks of his life and Shinjiru shivered just thinking about it.
"Just consider me your friend
I am until the end
Can I guarantee you life?
I don't think I can
This isn't the life for me
This isn't the way I want to be
And let me tell you
Death will come when I'm good and ready
This isn't the life for me
This isn't the way I want to be
And let me tell you
Death will come when I'm good and ready
Take me by my hand
And let me show you what I am
I'm taking control again
Now I know I can
Take you back to where it all began
'Cause I am"
That sounded familiar and somewhat…arousing. No one verse had ever been so confusingly wanted. Hearing that gave Shinjiru an odd glimmer of hope and a desire of things yet to come. And it didn't really help that he was staring at her in silent challenge. He wants me to realize his words and acknowledge them. It truly is like a warning. She thought.
"This isn't the life for me
This isn't the way I want to be
And let me tell you
Death will come when I'm good and ready
This isn't the life for me
This isn't the way I want to be
And let me tell you
Death will come when I'm good and ready"
He silently regarded her before walking off the stage and out the door. Shinjiru watched him walk away and hesitated. Does he really want to be followed? she questioned the look he gave her. She sat back in her chair with a sigh.
"Sesshoumaru…" She whispered longingly. Why couldn't she just understand him? Why couldn't he just… Ugh, I have a headache. He's so complicated.
*You'll have more than a headache if you just sit there contemplating the point of his words. He wants you to follow him. Away from prying eyes. Away from outside influences. Alone.*
But what if this is just me? What could he possibly find so…likeable in me?
*Didn't I just tell you not to contemplate? Go. Think later.*
What would I do without you?
*Have no love life?*
Shinjiru stood nonchalantly and walked to the door. As soon as the door was shut behind her, she took off running, following his unforgettable scent. Nothing was more important to her than finding him. Running up six flights of stairs and through twelve doors led her to the roof.
Converting /tmp/phpz0NddO to /dev/stdout
New Beginnings
"Now I will tell you what I've done for you
50 thousand tears I've cried
Screaming deceiving and bleeding for you
And you still won't hear me
Don't want your hand this time I'll save myself
Maybe I'll wake up for once
Not tormented daily defeated by you
Just when I thought I'd reached the bottom
I'm dying again,"
Every one was drawn into the mellow, lulling voice coming from the arena stage. There were four groups walking to the sound of the voice and the screaming guitars with it. The soft sounds of keys were little tinkling to the demon's ears. Drums were more audible to the humans, who were too busy concentrating on the voice to really register anything else. It was soothing and angry with an undertone of loss and despair.
"I'm going under
Drowning in you
I'm falling forever
I've got to break through
I'm going under,"
Finally the door opened and the house lights flashed once in their eyes, hiding the owner of the voice from view. With one look, the groups of artists were mesmerized with the four women on stage. A raven-haired neko demoness pounded furiously at the black-silver swirled drum set. Another girl, slightly younger looking, tapped the keyboard with her fingers. Eyes closed, she seemed lost in the melody. The girl closer to the front of the stage, plucked at the strings of her guitar with vigor. Her lips were pressed against the head of the microphone as she slid her voice into the song with subtlety. The final figure stood at the head of the stage, leading her band as she would an army. With confidence and determination, she played her bass and sang clearly into the microphone. Words of defeat and struggle echoed through the hall.
The groups sat down mechanically, as if in a trance and commanded to do so. They were spellbound to the words and music. Trapped in a dream-like state where you were helpless to do anything but listen to the haunting words.
"Blurring and stirring the truth and the lies
So I don't know what's real and what's not
Always confusing the thoughts in my head
So I can't trust myself anymore
I'm dying again
I'm going under
Drowning in you
I'm falling forever
I've got to break through,"
The red head voicing her troubles into the microphone had her eyes closed and her body covered in a loose sweat suit. The males could only stare at the beauty of her face and the splendor of her companions. The girl on lead stopped the stroke of her fingers to the bass and removed her jacket showing a tight black tank top underneath. They realized the others were similarly clad, in sweat pants and tank tops. But the one on electric had on these tight black pants with various zippers and a chain hanging from her side. Two ribbon-looking straps of black material criss-crossed behind her thighs and lightly tapped her as she moved. They were a sight to behold and talent to drown in.
"So go on and scream
Scream at me I'm so far away
I won't be broken again
I've got to breathe I can't keep going under
I'm dying again
I'm going under
Drowning in you
I'm falling forever
I've got to break through
I'm going under
I'm going under
I'm going under…"
With a smile the singer pulled her head away from the microphone, letting the sound trail off as the music stilled and silence gathered in the hall.
The four girls on stage finally registered the presence of watchers. They all froze and stared at the audience. The one on electric set her guitar on the stand off to the side and hopped off the stage. She nonchalantly walked up to the red head standing in the isle and gave him a quiet hug accompanied by a small smile.
It was a downhill from there.
Screamed accusations erupted from the girls on stage, but the lead just sat down on the ledge with her legs hanging lazily off the side. She decided to people watch.
Various males from the seats closest to the pair shouted loudly. Mainly a black haired tall muscled boy. He didn't look any older than a high schooler, but something about him just screamed ancient. Another, who was just screaming anything that popped out of his head, also had red hair but done less…elegantly. He seemed sluggish in his movements, but he radiated strength, mainly from his hands. The final member who just stood off to the side stared disdainfully at everything in sight, but his eyes softened a little at his friends.
They're not one of the groups, Shinjiru concluded. The record labels decided to have a joint tour. Not only to show off their best acts, but also to show that they had no ill will to each other. To them, by letting their best go on tour together, they were showing their trust that no one would harm their acts. Funny really… Shinjiru chuckled.
"Now." Shinjiru said getting the attention of all the occupants. Standing up, she swept her eyes across the faces. "Why don't we all sit down and get to know each other," At the disgusted look the short spiky-haired man shot everyone, she added, "Or at least everyone's names."
Everyone moved closer to the stage and sat grouped according to record label. Shinjiru and her friends sat on the stage, taking up her pose.
"Now why don't I start? I'm Shinjiru Inochi, lead singer and bassist of Chaotic Times." Gesturing to her left, "This is my sister Sitora Inochi she plays electric guitar and sings back-up." Gesturing to her right at the other two, she finished, "These two are our friends, Hitohana Kaiku on drums. And Kasou Mori on instrumental." They finished with a small wave.
"What do you mean instrumental?" A black-haired girl asked from the front. She looked frail, but she radiated pure power. Miko power.
"She plays whatever we need played that no one else plays. Percussion." Sitora said quickly. She was uncomfortable with so many unfamiliar demons and humans so near. But only Shinjiru could read her body language better than Kurama, her mate.
"Well, I'm InuYasha, I sing lead. This," He said pointing to the line of humans at his right. "Is Kagome on keys, Sango on electric, Miroku on bass, and Shippo on drums. We are Seichirou." They all stood and bowed as they were introduced.
"I am Naraku, I sing lead for the group Damasu. These are my band mates. Kikyo on electric, Kagura on bass, and Kanna on drums." The man who spoke, Naraku, had an evil aura to him. It seemed that his 'band mates' didn't like him as much as he thought.
"Yo. I'm Yusuke, this is Hiei, Kurama, and Kuwabara. We don't sing, but Sitora invited us." He said casually. Kurama and Kuwabara greeted everyone with a hello, but Hiei just 'hn'ed and turned away.
"Right…Anyway." Shinjiru said as she looked at Sitora pointedly.
"I'm Sesshoumaru. I sing lead and play bass for Western Rulers. This is Ah on electric, Un on percussion, and Rin on drums." Sesshoumaru said quickly. He said the names with an icy tone and straight face. But he said Rin's name with affection. Shinjiru wondered at this. Odd, she thought.
"Well, now that that's over with. I think we should give everyone a sample of our talents. Seeing as you've already seen ours." Shinjiru smiled sweetly. She really wanted to see what she had to perform with, just in case she had to up her own performance to make up for anything they were lacking. "Whoever wants to go first can just get up here and use our instruments." She finished as she and her band hopped off the stage to sit down as InuYasha's group stepped up.
After some arguments as to what should be sung, finally a decision was made and everyone was ready.
"Dead I am the one, exterminating son
Slipping through the trees, strangling the breeze
Dead I am the sky, watching angels cry
While they slowly turn, conquering the worm,"
The group on the stage obviously preferred rock music to anything else. Hard, loud rock. Shinjiru winced as the music stung her sensitive ears. She wasn't the only one. The other demons off stage were also trying not to cover their ears. How the inu and kitsune on stage could bear it was a mystery.
"Dig through the ditches,
Burn through the witches
I slam in the back of my
Dragula
Dig through the ditches,
Burn through the witches
I slam in the back of my
Dragula,"
Overall, Shinjiru had to praise them. Though the music was deafening, they worked and preformed well together. InuYasha's voice, though raspy, suits the lyrics and music well. His band mates played their instruments with precision.
"Dead I am the pool, spreading from the fool
Weak and want you need, nowhere as you bleed
Dead I am the rat, feast upon the cat
Tender is the fur, dying as you purr
Dig through the ditches,
Burn through the witches
I slam in the back of my
Dragula
Dig through the ditches,
Burn through the witches
I slam in the back of my
Dragula
Do it baby, Do it baby
Do it baby, Do it baby
Burn like an animal
Dead I am the knife, dig into the skin
Knuckle crack the bone, 21 to win
Dead I am the dog, hound of hell you cry
Devil on your back, I can never die
Dig through the ditches,
Burn through the witches
I slam in the back of my
Dragula
Dig through the ditches,
Burn through the witches
I slam in the back of my
Dragula,"
Shinjiru watched as InuYasha sung his heart out. If he always sings like that he's gonna sing out a lung. She thought with a small chuckle.
"Do it baby, Do it baby
Do it baby, Do it baby
Burn like an animal
Dig through the ditches,
Burn through the witches
I slam in the back of my
Dragula
Dig through the ditches,
Burn through the witches
I slam in the back of my
Dragula
Dig through the ditches,
Burn through the witches
I slam in the back of my
Dragula"
They bowed at the light applause. Shinjiru looked around. Either everyone else had already heard them before or no one else enjoyed it. She shrugged it off.
Next on the stage was Naraku's group. They seemed to sneer at the instruments, like they weren't good enough. Shinjiru growled lowly. Ungrateful idiots.
"Drowning deep in my sea of loathing
Broken your servant I kneel
It seems what's left of my human side
Is slowly changing in me
Looking at my own reflection
When suddenly it changes
Violently it changes (oh no)
There is no turning back now
You've woken up the demon in me,"
Shinjiru cringed at his word choice and how he seemed to make the air feel stale. This guy had major control issues and she could tell he loved to make women submit. What male demon doesn't? But this was the kind of submitting that happens when you accept death. Shinjiru shuddered. Disturbing…
"Get up, come on get down with the sickness
Get up, come on get down with the sickness
Get up, come on get down with the sickness
Open up your hate, and let it flow into me
Get up, come on get down with the sickness
You mother get up come on get down with the sickness
You fucker get up come on get down with the sickness
Madness is the gift that has been given to me"
Shinjiru looked at everyone out of the corner of her eyes. No one else seemed as disturbed as she was. Sure they were bothered, but not to the extent that she was. They seemed to, on some level, ignore it. But it was harder for her to brush his stage presence away. She was just happy that he wasn't playing her bass.
"I can see inside you, the sickness is rising
Don't try to deny what you feel
(Will you give in to me?)
It seems that all that was good has died
And is decaying in me
It seems you're having some trouble
In dealing with these changes
Living with these changes (oh no)
The world is a scary place
Now that you've woken up the demon in me,"
The visual images came unbidden to her mind. The changes he was speaking of made her cringe. The image of a human morphing into some hideous monster, but not all demons was bad, so his analogy was wrong. At least to her it was.
"Get up, come on get down with the sickness
Get up, come on get down with the sickness
Get up, come on get down with the sickness
Open up your hate, and let it flow into me
Get up, come on get down with the sickness
You mother get up come on get down with the sickness
You fucker get up come on get down with the sickness
Madness is the gift that has been given to me
Get up, come on get down with the sickness
Get up, come on get down with the sickness
Get up, come on get down with the sickness
Open up your hate, and let it flow into me
Get up, come on get down with the sickness
You mother get up come on get down with the sickness
You fucker get up come on get down with the sickness
Madness is the gift that has been given to me"
Shinjiru tried to stop the bile rising in her throat, but it couldn't be stopped. Someone's presence behind her made her look up.
"Do not concentrate on the words. He is using some kind of magic to dispel us. He doesn't like the threat we pose to his popularity, however fleeting it may be." It was Sesshoumaru. His voice brought her out of the spell and instantly she felt more at ease.
"Thank you." She said quietly. He gave her a small nod and sat down next to her. She could see her sister eyeing his spot with curiosity.
"(And when I dream)
(And when I dream)
(And when I dream)
(And when I dream)
No mommy, don't do it again
Don't do it again
I'll be a good boy
I'll be a good boy, I promise
No mommy don't hit me
Why did you have to hit me like that, mommy?
Don't do it, you're hurting me
Why did you have to be such a bitch
Why don't you,
Why don't you fuck off and die
Why can't you just fuck off and die
Why can't you just leave here and die
Never stick your hand in my face again bitch
FUCK YOU
I don't need this shit
You stupid sadistic abusive fucking whore
How would you like to see how it feels mommy
Here it comes, get ready to die,"
It takes a sick man to be able to stomach those words. Shinjiru thought to her sister.
*You're telling me. Without Kurama here I would have fallen to the spell like you seemed to be doing. That's why no one else is falling. They all have their own distractions. Your lucky Sesshoumaru noticed before I did. I would've taken the bastard's head off if you'd have fallen.* Shinjiru heard the still lingering threat in Sitora's voice.
I'll be fine once the song's over. But I wonder what Western Lords are gonna sing? Shinjiru wondered absently through the link.
*I don't know, but at least you won't have to worry about being lulled into a dark spell.* Sitora finished, cutting the link.
"Get up, come on get down with the sickness
Get up, come on get down with the sickness
Get up, come on get down with the sickness
Open up your hate, and let it flow into me
Get up, come on get down with the sickness
You mother get up come on get down with the sickness
You fucker get up come on get down with the sickness
Madness has now come over me"
Very light clapping ensued their departure from the stage. Shinjiru clapped just to seem like she had paid attention the whole time. The lead singer smirked at her as if he'd known that she almost fell. It made her sick.
Sesshoumaru getting up from next to her startled her. He smirked down at her, making her heart shudder in her chest. Shrugging it off, she sat back to enjoy the show. This should be good, she said to herself, not expecting to get a reply.
~Yes it will.~ Sesshoumaru smiled lightly down at her from over his shoulder as he pulled her favorite bass from the stand. It was completely black, except for the green that ran down the tip like blood oozing from a wound. She had the band name engraved on the inside. She got that the day they were signed.
"It's all the same, only the names will change
Everyday it seems we're wasting away
Another place where the faces are so cold
I'd drive all night just to get back home,"
The chimes in the background and the light strumming his fingers made against the guitar strings made her shiver. When his voice came through the speakers she smiled widely and leaned forward to enjoy the entire show.
"I'm a cowboy, on a steel horse I ride
I'm wanted dead or alive
Wanted dead or alive
Sometimes I sleep, sometimes it's not for days
And the people I meet always go their separate ways
Sometimes you tell the day
By the bottle that you drink
And times when you're all alone all you do is think,"
The words he sung spoke of experience. Of sitting against the window of the tour bus and just watching the road pass you by. The way his voice spoke of the days and nights, reminding her of the past and present. The others on stage and in the room disappeared and her vision narrowed to just him. His voice told her volumes about his past and everything that only lovers would know. Truth be told that thought appealed to her, very much.
"I'm a cowboy, on a steel horse I ride
I'm wanted dead or alive
Wanted dead or alive
I walk these streets, a loaded six string on my back
I play for keeps, 'cause I might not make it back
I been everywhere, still I'm standing tall
I've seen a million faces an I've rocked them all,"
Just from hearing that little piece, she could tell he was tortured. The days of demon's past troubled his mind and those days he longed for. For just a taste of the fresh clean air and the blooming trees. Days of old where you had to prove yourself or fall to someone's lust for strength. But he radiated strength, like he was the epitome of strength.
"I'm a cowboy, on a steel horse I ride
I'm wanted dead or alive
I'm a cowboy, I got the night on my side
I'm wanted dead or alive
Wanted dead or alive"
Shinjiru clapped enthusiastically. That was the greatest song she'd ever heard, with the exception of her own songs, of course. Sesshoumaru walked off the stage and toward her. She watched every one of his movements, cat-like and graceful. He strode with a purpose and fluid movements, like walking on air.
"Did you enjoy that?" His silky voice whispered in her ear. She tried to contain the shiver that coursed her body, but to no avail. She just nodded weakly, not trusting her voice not to give away her thoughts and emotions. "I thought you would." He finished as he sat down.
"Well, now that that's over with. Why don't we all go to our hotel rooms and settle in? We'll see you guys in the morning!" She said as everyone filed out of the building and off to wherever they were staying.
~*~*~*~
"So…What was going on between you and Sesshoumaru?" Kasou asked as she lounged on Shinjiru's bed. The room wasn't extravagant, like the record label insisted she should get. Sometimes she preferred to sit in a stiff hotel bed and sit up all night listening to sirens cause you're in the 'bad' part of town. She had been told she was nuts many times, this just proved it.
"What do you mean? I wasn't aware that anything was to be mistaken for 'going on'." Shinjiru said looking at her band mates questioningly. They sweat dropped and let the accusations fly.
"What?! Your kidding me!" Hito yelled.
"There was obviously something 'going on'." Kasou said with her fingers making quotations.
"You cannot honesty tell me you weren't captured by his song." Hito accused.
"And what about the whispers he was telling you? No guy just whispers something in your ear without really knowing you." Kasou said exasperatedly.
"She is attracted to the guy." Sitora called from the door. "It's easy to see." She finished walking in and plopping down on the bed.
"Easy for you to say. You two are practically twins and know each other better than the backs of your hands." Hito said with an accusing finger pointing to the two sisters.
Shinjiru shrugged it off with a bright smile and went back to her laptop. She was writing lyrics for the way that Kagome girl sang and what happened outside the building as the group was waiting for a ride.
~*Flashback*~
She watched Kagome hugging the jacket closer to herself. Tonight was especially cold and just a bit nippier than usual. But what caught her eye was the way Kagome would stare at InuYasha as he talked to Miroku that made her interested. So many free emotions flashed through her eyes, it was amazing. The most prominent being the jealousy that enveloped her blue irises when Kikyo walked up to InuYasha.
Shinjiru watched mildly pissed at the half-breed as two tears fell from her eyes and his name fell from her lips in a whisper.
"InuYasha…" Kagome then turned her teary eyes from the sight to digest his next words.
"Do you want to get together sometime?" InuYasha asked Kikyo with no regard to the knife he twisted into the heart he held in his palm.
Shinjiru sent a death glare to InuYasha as she walked to the girl trying to quiet her sobs.
"Hey." She said quietly. She watched Kagome swipe at her eyes and turn around with a sad smile.
"Hi." She said quietly. So many details of her life were in her eyes. Grief, longing, pain, and most of all love. She had obviously loved the hanyou for years and never once had it acknowledged or returned.
"Don't feel so blue. With someone as wonderful as you, you deserve better than second place." Shinjiru whispered. Kagome's eyes widened, before softening with gratefulness.
"Thank you." She said, her smile slightly less pained.
"Thank me tomorrow." Shinjiru said before walking away, catching Sesshoumaru's eyes as she hopped into the cab and drove to her hotel.
~*End Flashback*~
She hadn't been able to think of anything else since and no matter how much she tried, she could do anything else. So after two agonizing hours of trying to distract herself, she finally got out her laptop and started to type down some lyrics of what she saw in Kagome's eyes.
"Hey guys, do you thing that we could have this ready for tomorrow?" Shinjiru asked letting her friends see what was written on her laptop. They smiled at one another before nodding. Immediately they set to work on the harmonies and beats to go with the lyrics, going by what Shinjiru said.
"It has to be deep, not sad, just accusing."
Finally at midnight, they had a completed song.
"I want Kagome to come up and sing duet with me. Is that cool?" Shinjiru asked.
"Yeah." Everyone agreed before literally dropping dead on their beds, asleep.
~*~*~*~
"Hey Kagome!" Shinjiru called from the stage.
"Kami, how early are you here every morning?" Kagome asked as she hopped up onto the stage.
"Whenever I get up. I've never been a heavy sleeper. Anyway, come here, I have a favor to ask." Shinjiru asked from her spot by the guitar stand.
"What's up?" Kagome asked. Shinjiru handed her the penned down lyrics, the original.
"I want you to sing this with me this morning. I know it's not much, but I figured it would help you feel better." Kagome's silence made her unsure. She thought Kagome would yell at her for butting in, but Kagome's tears were less than expected.
"Now can I thank you?" She asked. Shinjiru smiled as Kagome hugged her. "This means so much. Can I have this copy?"
"Yeah. No problem. I figured you could use a break from your key board today, at least for a little while." Shinjiru said as she rubbed her hands along Kagome's spine.
"Oi! Did we miss somethin'?" InuYasha's gruff voice called from the door. Both girls on the stage giggled.
"No." The said as they sat down on the edge to discuss what she would be singing.
~*~*~*~
After the rest of the bands had decided to join them, Kagome asked Shinjiru if they could go up there.
"If you want to sing now, that's fine." Shinjiru shrugged it off, sending a message to her sister, mentally, to prepare the group.
They headed up the stairs backstage to give Kagome time to gather her courage. After a few encouragements, they walked out on stage, a confident aura about them.
"Ready?" Shinjiru asked Kagome. She could feel Sesshoumaru's curious eyes on her, but ignored it. This needed her attention, her full attention. At Kagome's nod, she signaled the band.
Kagome: "There were places we would go at midnight
There were secrets that nobody else would know
There's a reason but I don't know why
I don't know why
I don't know why
I thought they all belonged to me"
Shinjiru didn't know why Kagome didn't sing, she had a wonderful voice. Even though, she hadn't really sung the song, it was as if the rhythm came naturally to her. She fit the words perfectly and suited the harmony exceptionally well.
All: "Who's that girl?
Where's she from?
No she can't be the one
That you want
That has stolen my world
It's not real
It's not right
It's my day
It's my night
By the way
Who's that girl livin' my life?
Sitora: (Oh no
Livin' my life)"
Shinjiru focused on the audience's reaction. Most of them were mesmerized, but InuYasha was surprised and a little blown away. Shinjiru could just imagine his thoughts, 'My Kagome is actually voicing her displeasure of me.' But more stupid. More like him with more of his vocabulary.
Shin: "Seems like everything's the same around me
Then I look again and everything has changed
I'm not dreaming
So I don't know why
I don't know why
I don't know why
She's everywhere I want to be
All: Who's that girl?
Where's she from?
No she can't be the one
That you want
That has stolen my world
It's not real
It's not right
It's my day
It's my night
By the way
Who's that girl livin' my life?"
Shinjiru smiled at the look of pleasure on Sesshoumaru's face as the half-breed walked out. I just called him half-breed? Shinjiru shrugged it off, the only people allowed in her mind were Sitora because she was her sister, and Sesshoumaru because…Well she didn't really know, but having him in her brain felt…interesting.
~Likewise, Shin.~ Sesshoumaru's silky voice floated through her thoughts.
Sitora: "I'm the one who made you laugh
Who made you feel and made you sad
I'm not sorry
For what we did
For who we were
I'm not sorry
I'm not her
All: Who's that girl?
Where's she from?
No she can't be the one
That you want
That has stolen my world
It's not real
It's not right
It's my day
It's my night
By the way
Who's that girl livin' my life?
Sitora: (Oh no
Livin' my life)"
Silent tears had started to stream down Kagome's cheeks as soon as InuYasha walked out, Kikyo chasing after him. InuYasha doesn't deserve her tears. He doesn't deserve her.
*It's not our place.* Sitora's voice reminded her.
I know. I just wish she could see her situation through another's eyes. It would be so much clearer.
*But it wouldn't change how she feels. There's no cure for a broken heart. Only painkillers to dull the heartache.* Sitora spoke wisely.
Time. Comfort. Someone to listen. Shinjiru agreed thoughtfully.
*Keep out. Let her decide. If she comes to you for advice, speak properly, but don't push her in any direction.* Sitora finished.
Thanks. I knew you were good for something.
*Yeah, yeah.*
"Oh Shin…What do I do?" Kagome cried breathlessly. Shinjiru hugged her.
"I'm not gonna tell you to let him go or even to chase after him. That decision is yours and yours alone. You know what your heart wants, let it show you the way." Shinjiru whispered as she released Kagome. Kagome's eyes were grateful as she smiled warmly.
"Thank you. You'll never know how much you've helped me see this for what it truly is." Kagome gave Shinjiru one last hug before walking off stage to think alone, of feelings only solitude could reveal.
"Alright…Who's next?" Shinjiru asked as she hopped off stage. Luckily Damasu wasn't present and Kikyo had just run after the half-breed, so no one was getting possessed today!
"Well, seeing as how the half-breed is missing two of his members, we'll go. I wanted to test out a new song today anyway." Sesshoumaru replied nonchalantly as he rose from his seat and made his way to the stage, brushing past Shinjiru on his way.
Shinjiru shivered at the feather light touch, but sat down as he and his group readied their instruments. With a small smirk in her direction they began to play.
"I am your spoken truth
I am the lies in you
I'm gonna make you shine in everything you do
I am your lighted way
And I'm your darkest day
I'm here to help you see you can rely on me
Just consider me your friend
I am until the end
Can I guarantee you life?
I don't think I can"
Though the words were of confusion and longing, Shinjiru returned them wholeheartedly. Their situation was so confusing. She felt a deep connection to him, but for some reason, a dark shadow veiled their fates and a lingering sadness kept her heart from taking the plunge. This was the one time the unknown frightened her.
"This isn't the life for me
This isn't the way I want to be
And let me tell you
Death will come when I'm good and ready
I am your peace of mind
Confusing all your time
I'm running through your veins, I am your pain
I thought by now you'd know
I'll never let you go
It's time you recognize I am the devil's eyes"
His words were a warning to her should they ever uncover what laid ahead. The roads were treacherous and he knew that everything about him wasn't the safest. The words were fair warning to the risks of his life and Shinjiru shivered just thinking about it.
"Just consider me your friend
I am until the end
Can I guarantee you life?
I don't think I can
This isn't the life for me
This isn't the way I want to be
And let me tell you
Death will come when I'm good and ready
This isn't the life for me
This isn't the way I want to be
And let me tell you
Death will come when I'm good and ready
Take me by my hand
And let me show you what I am
I'm taking control again
Now I know I can
Take you back to where it all began
'Cause I am"
That sounded familiar and somewhat…arousing. No one verse had ever been so confusingly wanted. Hearing that gave Shinjiru an odd glimmer of hope and a desire of things yet to come. And it didn't really help that he was staring at her in silent challenge. He wants me to realize his words and acknowledge them. It truly is like a warning. She thought.
"This isn't the life for me
This isn't the way I want to be
And let me tell you
Death will come when I'm good and ready
This isn't the life for me
This isn't the way I want to be
And let me tell you
Death will come when I'm good and ready"
He silently regarded her before walking off the stage and out the door. Shinjiru watched him walk away and hesitated. Does he really want to be followed? she questioned the look he gave her. She sat back in her chair with a sigh.
"Sesshoumaru…" She whispered longingly. Why couldn't she just understand him? Why couldn't he just… Ugh, I have a headache. He's so complicated.
*You'll have more than a headache if you just sit there contemplating the point of his words. He wants you to follow him. Away from prying eyes. Away from outside influences. Alone.*
But what if this is just me? What could he possibly find so…likeable in me?
*Didn't I just tell you not to contemplate? Go. Think later.*
What would I do without you?
*Have no love life?*
Shinjiru stood nonchalantly and walked to the door. As soon as the door was shut behind her, she took off running, following his unforgettable scent. Nothing was more important to her than finding him. Running up six flights of stairs and through twelve doors led her to the roof.
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