InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Temporal Sequence ❯ Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Do I really need to keep writing these? Whatever… I don't own Inuyasha and company, duh!

 

A/N: I know this isn't the most original idea, but I am going to make it so nonetheless. That's why I took the challenge. I could see all the opportunity waiting to be released with the right angle. I know these were rather long chapters, but necessarily so. This is the first multi-chapter canon story I have written and I think Kagome needs reasons behind her actions toward Sesshoumaru. He has afterall done some horrible things, but he does have some saving qualities that cannot be overlooked. Some people complained about my pace, but I absolutely refuse to just throw them together. Look at the title- it's all about reasoning. I will not subject my readers to some love-at-first-sight or I-want-your-body-now crap. Granted, I know some authors may be able to pull off those scenarios, but most cannot. So if you want a quick romance, then you are reading the wrong story. There is going to be a lot of psychological evaluation, but I will make it highly interesting. Promise! So let me know what you think as we go along!

 

Temporal Sequence

 

Chapter 2:

 

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Science can help us understand how choices are made. Decisions and actions are based upon more than just personal values…

 

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<~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>

 

It was sunny that day as she held onto her mother's hand, skipping as best she could while still keeping pace. She loved the sun; it was always shining with warmth and defeating darkness. She began humming softly as she and her mother walked back to the shrine.

 

“Oh no,” her mother said strangely

 

Her mother stopped suddenly and the little girl she once was followed her mother's gaze. There was a red and brown heap ahead at the side of the road. She didn't know what it was, but she knew it didn't belong there.

 

“What's wrong, mama?”

 

Her mother sighed and pulled her along gently, stopping when they reached the large lump, half of which covered the sidewalk and the rest sprawled out on the road. It was a relatively large and oddly furry heap.

 

“It's a dog, Kagome.”

 

That didn't make any sense. “It's a doggy?” she whispered in disbelief. “Then why does it look like that, mama? Shouldn't it be playing?” She inspected the dormant dog and immediately found herself frightened. She recognized the coal-colored beads as eyes, but those eyes didn't look right. They were fully open and staring at nothing at all; the blackened orbs clouded and unfocused, making the dog seem more like a stuffed toy than an actual animal.

 

“Sweetheart, this dog will never play again.” She wondered why her mother sounded so sad.

 

“Why not, mama?”

 

“The poor thing is dead,” she replied. “Someone hit it with a car.”

 

She stared up at her mother with wide eyes as understanding began seeping into her mind. “Is that why mama says not to play in the street?”

 

“Yes dear,” her mother said with a faint smile. “That way a car won't hurt you.”

 

“Then we should take him to the doctor so he gets better.”

 

“Honey, do you understand what I meant when I said that it's dead?” Kagome shook her head, knowing she hadn't really given the word much thought. Her mother kneeled down and took her hand, placing the tiny digits over her chest. “Do you feel that?” Her mother paused until Kagome nodded affirmatively and then took Kagome's hand and placed it on her own chest. “And that?”

 

“Uh-huh,” she replied cheerily, happy that her mother was explaining things to her.

 

“That's a heartbeat, Kagome,” she began. “You have one and I have one. Daddy has one and so does grandpa. It means you're alive.”

 

Tears pooled at the corners of her eyes when comprehension struck true. “So, the doggy doesn't have one? He doesn't have a heart beat?”

 

Her mother nodded as she smoothed a thick strand of hair behind her ear. “You see, every living thing is born with a heart and it beats while you live. When it stops, you're dead.”

 

“Can't it be started again?” she asked hopefully.

 

Her mother looked thoughtful for a moment as she contemplated how to word her thoughts. “Sometimes it can, but it must be done within a few minutes after it stops.”

 

“Oh.” She felt the hot liquid trace her cheek, and then the other one—shed tears serving as a child's initiation into the hardest of human realities.

 

“You'll understand better when you're older,” she said tenderly as she stroked Kagome's hair.

 

“So, he's not coming back?”

 

“No dear. He's in a better place now.”

 

“Where's that?” she asked with another surge of hope.

 

“You remember some of grandpa's teachings, don't you?” She nodded enthusiastically, hope still shining bright. “This dog will either go to Nirvana, which is the happiest place you can go, or he'll be reincarnated as another living thing once again.”

 

“So, he's not really dead?” she asked hesitantly.

 

“In essence yes, because if this dog comes back, it'll be in many years and he won't be the same. He won't even remember being a dog. You see the soul never dies. It keeps being reincarnated until it finds true peace. Then it will rest in Nirvana forever.”

 

“So, if a soul comes back,” she began uncertainly, “then it won't be the same?” Her mother smiled and nodded, making Kagome swell with pride.

 

“So don't be sad. It's always sad when something dies, but always remember to move on and accept it. Remember that their soul will never die.”

 

“Okay, mama,” she said as she wiped the tears from her eyes.

 

“Now, let's go get papa so he can carry the dog,” her mother said passively as she pulled Kagome along once more.

 

“But why, mama?”

 

“So we can bury him and see him off to the next stop.”

 

“Huh? But he wasn't our dog.”

 

“Kagome, when someone, or an animal in this case, is hurt you should always help them—even if you don't know them or can't stand them. Though we can't heal this dog, we can at least give him a proper burial.”

 

“To see him off?”

 

“Yes dear. Think of it as the last act of kindness he receives before he moves on to the next stage of life. And what have I always told you about kindness?”

 

“Always be kind so you get good karma!” she exclaimed, happy she remembered her mother's words. Her mother chuckled quietly making Kagome question her own interpretation.

 

“The gods want you to be kind. And it feels good to share your kindness with others. For every time you're kind it becomes more a part of who you are. And you will be rewarded with good karma and that's good for your next stage of life,” her mother said warmly. “Remember, sweetie, that death is merely a stage in the ongoing process of life.”

 

“Umm…” Kagome was a little confused, but she was too embarrassed to admit it.

 

“Don't worry, honey. I'm just laying the foundation. You'll understand perfectly when you're older,” her mother said as though reading her thoughts.

 

“That's what everybody says!” she replied with frustration. She wanted to understand now!

 

“That's how it always is,” her mother said with a giggle. Kagome shrugged in response, not wanting to talk about her lack of knowledge right the moment.

 

“Well,” she began, “I hope that doggy has good karma.”

 

<~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>

 

She wiped the gathering tears from her eyes as she recalled her first experience of death. She was six years old at the time and a year later she would have a baby brother and a dead father. At least her mother had been honest about the dead dog or else she would have been thoroughly confused when she was told her father was never coming back. She was sad when she realized the dog was no longer alive, but it swiftly passed since she knew life was a never-ending process, not to mention that it wasn't her dog that had passed. But it was her father that had died, and that simple possessive changed everything.

 

She placed a clammy hand on the chest in front of her that was slowly rising and falling with each shallow breath. He had a heartbeat, albeit a weak one, but that meant he was alive. When she had first inspected and cleansed his wounds she didn't think he'd make it. But now that his heartbeat and breathing had stabilized she was sure his youkai blood would do its magic. Cleaning and bandaging him had been quite a task indeed, not to mention the headache she endured while getting off the hook with Inuyasha.

 

 

After she had decided to help Sesshoumaru she immediately ran back to Kaede's village. Right as she neared the curtain sewn from bamboo that served as a door, a red-clad figure jumped from the roof, effectively blocking her path.

 

“Inu…yasha,” she said brokenly, trying to regain her breath from her previous exercise and recently bestowed shock.

 

“Where have you been?” he asked accusingly. She was momentarily glad she didn't touch Sesshoumaru, for surely Inuyasha would have smelt his blood.

 

But she had other things to worry about since now was the time to initiate her ploy. She had actually concocted a pretty good lie during her sprint, making her want to pat herself on the back in appreciation of her own cleverness. “I took a walk,” she began, trying to look flustered. “I needed to clear my head, but…but—“

 

“But?” he demanded.

 

“I have this terrible feeling and it won't go away!” `This is where the miko's intuition comes in handy,' she mused. Inuyasha's scowl shifted to a look a concern. `Score one for me!' She had desperately hoped that he would buy it.

 

“What do you mean?” he asked with worry written plainly on his face. “Do you think it has to do with Naraku?” Even his voice was colored with concern, making her heart briefly cringe with guilt.

 

`Oh great, he has to take it there…'

 

She shook her head in negation. “No, I keep thinking about my family,” she said in a voice of feigned worry, quite contrary to Inuyasha's authentic concern. “I feel like I'm missing something…like something isn't right.”

 

He frowned at her and she swore at that moment that she could feel his anger rising like a sudden gust of wind. “You're trying to get out of shard hunting, aren't you?”

 

This was taking a turn for the worst. “Inuyasha,” she said sweetly, placing a hand on his forearm. “I know my schooling has slowed down our hunt—“

 

“Damn right it has!” he yelled as he jerked his arm away. “We barely get anywhere before you have to go back!”

 

“I-I,” she stuttered. He was making this even more difficult, and as if things couldn't get any worse, her words had decided to take a vacation. During her mind's mock sessions of this meeting things had definitely gone smoother. Then as if on cue, Miroku stepped from the hut.

 

“Are you all right, Kagome-sama?” he asked.

 

“Stay out of this, monk!” Inuyasha yelled. Miroku's gaze shifted between them as he tried to understand why Inuyasha was so angry.

 

“Well, my friend,” Miroku began, eyeing Inuyasha cautiously, “it seems that you two need a mediator since you cannot have a civilized conversation on your own.” Kagome sighed in relief; Miroku was a godsend right about now.

 

Miroku led them across the village and sat under a tree bordering the forest. He insisted they go somewhere else to speak in case any yelling erupted—he didn't want to wake the others or any unsuspecting villagers either. When Kagome and Inuyasha both took a seat on the grass, he spoke again.

 

“So, what is this all about?”

 

“I—“

 

“She—“

 

Miroku sighed in exasperation. “One at a time please,” he said calmly, not wishing to incite any more anger.

 

“She's copping out of our mission!” Inuyasha hollered while pointing an accusatory finger at her. Miroku eyed Kagome curiously, as though wondering the truthful extent of Inuyasha's words.

 

“Is this true Kagome-sama?” Miroku asked skeptically. Inuyasha had never been very persuasive she realized when Miroku's full attention fell on her to verify the hanyou's candor.

 

“Not entirely,” she began. Inuyasha opened his mouth to retort, but Miroku swiftly raised a hand to silence him. Inuyasha's mouth snapped closed and a scowl marred his face.

 

She looked at Inuyasha with a bit of regret as feelings she wished to forget bombarded her in that moment. She hated herself for making him look like that and she hated him even more for affecting her. Why did things have to turn out like this?

 

“You see,” she began, trying to recapture her insincere concern, “when everyone went to bed an ominous feeling overcame me. I couldn't sleep because of it and I took a walk, hoping it would ease my mind so I could rest.” If anyone had a predisposition for `ominous feelings' it was definitely the scandalous monk, and surely he would not refute her. Things were starting to look up again…

 

“She is so full of shit!” Inuyasha yelled, again.

 

“Inuyasha,” Miroku began with a sigh, “please quit interrupting. Your accusatory outbursts are not helping in the least. Please continue, Kagome-sama.”

 

Miroku looked at her with a slight frown as he awaited her to continue. She knew that look; it was his way of displaying concern. She could win him over; she just had to reinforce the acting a bit. So, she focused on her pain, her unrequited love—the hanyou that broke her heart with a mere gaze… Then the tears came.

 

“I think something bad is happening…in my time,” she sobbed. “I feel like I left something important behind.” More tears fell; this was going well…

 

Inuyasha scoffed at her remarks, but Miroku sent him a warning glare. “So you need to return to your own era again?” Miroku asked in understanding and she quickly nodded in affirmation. Miroku stroked his chin thoughtfully as he looked to the ground and after a minute or two of contemplation he spoke with finality. “You should go then. A miko's intuition should not be ignored.”

 

“What?!” Inuyasha screamed.

 

“Thank you for understanding, Miroku-san.” She looked at Inuyasha who had long since stood and was now pacing furiously, abusing the poor grass so badly that the blades were being uprooted from the ground. “Inuyasha?” she asked cautiously.

 

He glared at her as though he couldn't care less what she had to say. He was visibly fuming and she swore she could see the steam rising from his head. “I'll return in the morning and tell you if I was right or not. If I'm wrong, then we'll leave immediately to continue our quest. If I'm right—”

 

“Then our mission will be delayed for only the gods know how long!”

 

“I'm sorry, Inuyasha,” she said while averting her eyes from his. She wondered if he could sense her subtle deceit and she felt all the more awful for lying to him, but she had already decided to help his wounded brother. `Remember kindness and karma, Kagome,' she told herself as she watched Inuyasha from the corner of her eye.

 

“Whatever,” he sighed, his anger seemingly fading. “I don't even care anymore. I'm getting used to you turning your back on your promise,” he mumbled as he stormed off, away from the village.

 

She was stunned. After all that she had gone through in order to make this quest possible, he had the nerve to say she was going back on her word. She was only delaying it, not leaving it behind. What gave him the right to say those things? Then it struck her with the ferocity of a tsunami and she wished for once that those waves would just go ahead and drown her so that her misery would die alongside her body. He was pissed off because he would have to wait even longer to complete the jewel, meaning he would have to wait even longer to become a full-fledged youkai. Was he angry because he had to wait to get what he wanted?

 

She loved the man in Inuyasha, but she hated the child that he sometimes became. Yes, she broke the jewel, and yes, she brought here in the first place. She didn't have to keep crossing time in order to fix her mistake; she could have left and never returned. She wasn't gaining anything material from this journey. She had gained friends, strength and cherished memories, but it wasn't like she was going to get a wish! It hurt when he talked like that—like she didn't give a damn about him—and it hurt even more when he equated their friendship with material gains.

 

Did he even care about her happiness? Were all his thoughts fixated on restoring that damned jewel so he could make a damned wish? That stupid jewel had consumed the entirety of Inuyasha and she was quickly growing tired of it—of him. He was angry because she had chosen her own life over his, but wasn't that to be expected? Why couldn't he understand that she had to stop spending so much time with him? Why couldn't he understand that it hurt when he looked at her? Didn't he know that one day she would no longer travel through the well and she needed something for herself on the other side? How could she live for someone who couldn't love her in return? He was so self-centered that he was upset because he was no longer the center of her attention. Inuyasha needed a reality check and he needed it badly. He had just strengthened her resolve to heal his brother without even knowing it.

 

`Kindness, Kagome,' she reminded herself, suddenly realizing that she was being too hard on Inuyasha.

 

“Kagome?” Miroku asked gently, pulling her from the thicket of her muddied thoughts.

 

“Oh, sorry. I hope he cools down,” she said as an afterthought.

 

“He will, eventually,” Miroku said as he looked off into the distance where Inuyasha had disappeared. “Kagome-sama, may I ask you a question?”

 

“Sure,” she replied a bit apprehensively.

 

“Do you still love him?”

 

He had to ask that. That particular question that knotted her chest so tightly she thought her heart was internally bleeding; the words that made her stomach burn as though she had been poisoned. And it was such a simple question, though the answer could never possibly be so rudimentary.

 

“I-I don't know,” she replied honestly.

 

“It is difficult to love someone so angry,” he stated in that mage-like voice of his.

 

“Yeah,” she replied with a reducing laugh. “Miroku, do you think,” she stumbled, “do you think that he has ever…seen me. You know, when he looks at me?”

 

Miroku inhaled sharply, closing his eyes. “Sometimes, Kagome-sama,” he said softly as he opened his eyes to look at her again. “But…not enough.”

 

She felt like crying. His words were so strikingly true. She supposed she asked him to convince herself that she wasn't being delusional—to make sure that she was doing the right thing by trying to shut him out of her heart. But she knew he would always remain there, even if it were only a small fraction of space his memory inhabited.

 

“You should go now,” Miroku stated as he stood, offering her his hand.

 

“Yeah, I guess so.”

 

“We'll see you in the morning?”

 

She nodded and walked toward the hut to gather her things, Miroku flanking her side. They did not speak, but to her surprise, Miroku embraced her before she turned to leave for the well, his hands never leaving her shoulder blades.

 

“Remember, Kagome,” he whispered, “even if he does not love how you wish him to, he still loves you nonetheless. As do we all.”

 

She cried; she couldn't help it. Miroku was so wise, so caring, so understanding, so much like…her mother. She loved the monk with a passion, for he was her stability, her guide—he was her mother's replacement in this era.

 

 

She had to make three sneaky trips through the well to gather all the supplies she needed. She swiped her brother's tent, fully loaded with another sleeping bag, as well as more food and lots of medical supplies. She grabbed her mother's sewing kit in case, gods forbid, she had to stitch up Sesshoumaru. She was so tired by the time she reached her newest charge that she didn't think she'd last through the night! But she needed to find her focus and quickly because his life signs were faint and diminishing. She briefly wondered how he'd feel when he awoke to learn a human had saved his life. She pushed the dangerous thought from her mind, finally finding energy within distraction.

 

After starting a fire she found a narrow stream nearby and filled a large pot with water and scrubbed him clean. She even shampooed his hair, thinking it a peace offering should Sesshoumaru not take kindly to her. The humor of her thoughts, however, died when she opened his kosode.

 

Something had burned him so badly that his clothes were scorched into his skin. She had to rip the silk from his body and pick the remaining bits of cloth out of his flesh with tweezers. It was a tedious and nauseating task and when she thought she had cleared all the threads, she vigorously scrubbed the wounds. Fortunately, for him, pain didn't register within an unconscious mind.

 

Almost every visible inch of skin had been slashed on his midsection and his face had been cut diagonally, extending from his forehead to his neck until it reached his collarbone. She wondered if it'd scar. The cuts on his chest and stomach were from both claws and blades and she noticed differences in the lacerations. Different weapons and claws had inflicted this damage, making her feel certain he'd been ambushed.

 

After an excruciating trial-and-error session of flip-over-Sesshoumaru, it became painfully obvious how he had fallen. There were welts covering the entirety of his back. The sores were red and swollen with a pus-looking substance oozing from them like a noxious toxin. She had seen this before—Naraku's saimyoushou.

 

The enemy of your enemy was your friend, right? Well, that was how she chose to look at this situation. She felt oddly better after that little revelation, knowing she was saving a life that Naraku had sought to take. At least she didn't help him to later find out he had been slaughtering an entire village before he was attacked—that was definitely a relief. She knew Naraku's saimyoushou were venomous creatures and she wondered if Sesshoumaru had been poisoned. It seemed possible that the viscous substance leaking from the wounds was his body's way of expelling the miasma. She distantly remembered Sesshoumaru dismissing the notion of death-by-poison, but she shook the thought in favor of her mother-instilled precautionary measures. It was a good thing she was prepared for these sorts of things, considering Miroku's previous bouts with the hellish insects.

 

She angled him to the side, letting his weight fall onto her lap. As she poured the anti-venom down his throat she began to ponder the irony of the situation. Of course, the most hilarious aspect of this definitely not-so-funny dilemma was the human-hating, all-powerful Sesshoumaru relying on a human girl to save his life. Secondly, the arrogant, `I'm invincible' youkai needed a reality check to inform him that although he may live for an indefinite length of time, `indefinite' was a key word—meaning he could get killed. It was also horribly ironic that the same bugs Naraku had provided him and those same bugs that he had first released against Inuyasha, Miroku, and herself had lived to later cause him problems. Maybe it wasn't funny per se, but she had the right to find some humor in the situation. He did deserve a good mocking session to knock him down a few notches on his self-loving pedestal.

 

After patching him up as best she could, she evaluated her work. His face had been the most difficult to bandage because of the length and oddity of the slice, but she didn't fuss over that detail for long. She worried over his leg for a while, thinking the limb might be broken, but too ignorant to do anything about it. The whole ordeal had been tiring and terribly awkward, but it appeared he wasn't going to be offering her any help, so she made due with what she had. His youkai blood would have to take care of the rest anyhow.

 

Restless, her thoughts wandered to death, compliments of a certain helpless dog demon. Sesshoumaru had reminded her of all those years ago when she and her mother had passed a dead dog on the sidewalk. Out of some strange fear, or impulse charged by an old memory, she checked Sesshoumaru's vital signs. She exhaled in relief when she found them to be stronger and steadier than before. It seemed he would make it afterall.

 

`He has a heartbeat. That means he's alive.'

 

She wanted to move him onto the extra sleeping bag, but she couldn't muster the energy to accomplish that heavy task, so instead she settled for placing a blanket over his body. It didn't even reach his ankles, but at least most of him was covered. She wanted to just lie down and sleep so badly, but the languidly rising sun had reminded her of her other duty, which was considerably less noble than taking care of Sesshoumaru. She had to go back to her friends and lie, but she had to; none of them would understand, least of all Inuyasha who would probably sniff out his incapacitated brother and slay him despite his unconsciousness. Unfortunately, she felt lying was necessary.

 

But why couldn't they understand? She could tell Inuyasha that she helped Sesshoumaru because of that day he ended the demonic rampage that had overtaken Inuyasha. She could tell Sango that she felt inclined to help Sesshoumaru because of that night when Kohaku was spared, even after he had tried to kill a little girl they didn't know.

 

`Yes, they would understand, but he wouldn't.'

 

She began thinking over various stories she could tell her friends to explain yet another prolonged absence, though she already knew that Inuyasha would probably not believe her. Damned youkai and their superior senses! Everything seemed to give off a scent, even deceit. But it didn't matter what Inuyasha thought, or knew in this case, because her friends would side with her. She had never blatantly lied to her friends before. Her thoughts began wandering again; this time pondering the wisdom of her decision to help Sesshoumaru. She hated lying and only did it when necessary, but she had to question the extent of this necessity. When it came to misleading people she would weigh out her options and deceit would only be chosen if it provided a more noble outcome. Well, maybe not all the time… She had kept pulling Hojou along just because she didn't want to hurt his feelings. But wouldn't it have been less painful for him if she'd been candid? No use thinking about that because Mr. Perfect was long gone.

 

But Sesshoumaru had shown them all mercy at some point in time and he had revealed a subtle kindness by accepting an orphaned girl as his ward. A little girl that would be devastated if her daddy never returned home—like her daddy had forever left her when she was just seven years old. But that wasn't the only reason; her heart simply wouldn't allow a defenseless soul to die in such a horrible way.

 

“And what have I always told you about kindness?”

 

“Always be kind so you get good karma,” she whispered breathlessly, only the breeze to bear witness.

 

A painful moan broke through her thoughts, causing her to turn sharply. Sesshoumaru was tossing about violently as she crawled to his side, albeit apprehensively, in order to make sure he was all right. She leaned over his face and cringed at the torturous expression creasing his features. He had to be rousing to feel such torment. Just as the thought crossed her mind, golden eyes slowly opened and fixated on hers in the most piercing stare-down. She gasped as fear flooded her veins, overtaking her blood with a rush of adrenaline. Maybe she hadn't thought this through enough. Maybe she was a fool for helping him. He probably didn't even need her help if he was waking so soon.

 

“Who…are…you?”

 

x x x

 

A/N: If you plan on berating me for my treatment of Inuyasha's character, please don't. I am not entirely out of line considering he can be a complete ass in the anime. However, this chapter was from Kagome's point of view and she did mention the fact that she could tell Inuyasha knew she was lying. So he has a right to be pissed at her. There are also some disgruntled feelings between the two that will be explored later- these feelings were mentioned and they are centered around Kagome's decision to spend more time in her era, but other factors exist as well. This is a story about reasoning- look at the title- and there are reasons for what everyone does- Inuyasha included.</b>

 

Now that the foundation has been laid the story can truly begin…