InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Temporal Sequence ❯ Chapter 4

Temporal Sequence

 

Chapter 4:

 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxx

 

For causation to occur a logical connection must be established, even if the relationship is only rational in theory…

 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxx

 

He blinked several times, trying to eradicate that annoying brightness from his eyes. Whatever it was, it was determined to bother him until he was delightfully abrupt and irritable. It was the sun… Why did it take him so long to realize that piece of common knowledge? He had just awoken, that much was apparent, but how long had he been asleep? His eyes were burning from the light, which made him believe he had slept for quite some time.

 

…

 

Was it normal for him to sleep for long periods of time?

 

…

 

Okay…his mind seemed a bit groggy. Maybe a bath would make him feel better and then he could gain some awareness.

 

…

 

Did a bath normally make him feel better?

 

…

 

Perhaps he should stop thinking since it seemed he was drawing nothing but blanks. It would prove easy to cease all current mental activities since his body suddenly flared to life with pain. His back felt as though it was ablaze and his face was tingling with sharp sensations. Everything else felt terrible, like his body was broken. But the worst of all was his arm—his left arm. It felt like it was being stabbed with a heated blade and it stung horribly with searing hot pain. And it was itching, which might be an indication that it was undergoing the healing process. If only he could scratch it…

 

x x x

 

It had been three days. Three long, boring, but wonderfully productive days. Since her patient had not awoken for the last seventy-two hours she had kept busy by studying for her finals that would begin at the end of the week. She actually couldn't have asked for a better studying situation seeing as no one had bothered her. No interruptions whatsoever—no Souta to bombard her with questions, no Shippou to demand attention, no Inuyasha to appease—nope, there was definitely nothing to distract her studious mind. It was actually refreshing to be able to give her full attention to something so important without having to worry about anyone.

 

Well, she had to worry about Sesshoumaru and change his bandages everyday, but he wasn't much of a talker, therefore he caused no disruptions to her quiet time. He was actually quite the listener, which she had discovered when she decided to spill her heart to him about his idiotic brother last night when she got bored. All right, so he was unconscious, but that was only circumstantial. He seemed like a good listener, even when conscious. If he lived in her era he would be a therapist, she felt sure of it. Now that was stupid. Sesshoumaru would've rebuked her for her human folly revolving around useless emotions. Then he would've probably killed her. She briefly imagined him with depressed patients. No doubt his methods would yield high suicide rates. He could just look at them in that belittling way of his and they'd go running home to convert their suicidal tendencies into full-blown actions. No, he would most definitely not be a therapist in her time. He would probably be a cutthroat industrialist specializing in advanced offensive military technologies. That way the humans could take each other out and leave the `worthy' youkai to rule the post-human world after the apocalypse. That thought made her shudder with dread. Sesshoumaru seemed savvy enough to make that dream a reality if he desired it enough. Scary…

 

Her strange wayward thoughts came to an abrupt halt when she heard cloth shuffling. She looked over at Sesshoumaru and noticed his right arm reaching over his chest. It must have been sore and in need of stretching. Wait…that meant he must've awoken. She had no idea how to handle this situation. He was harmless and rather amiable three days ago, but that was three days ago. It was quite possible that now he would be fully aware of his surroundings and would be very displeased to see her. She had settled this matter in her mind by convincing herself that if he was angry when he rose then she needn't worry because he would most likely be physically unable to attack her. Then she would leave. But what if his body healed even quicker than she thought? What if he was physically capable of slaughtering or maiming her? Inuyasha would still be down from such injuries, but he wasn't Inuyasha…

 

His right hand was now gripping the empty sleeve and then she heard him gasp sharply. Was he in pain? Should she say something? “Sesshoumaru?” she asked shakily.

 

His head immediately turned her way and when their eyes connected it was her turn to inhale sharply. His eyes were wide, not narrow as she had expected, and his mouth was hanging open. She had never seen that one before. He looked confused, painfully confused. His breathing was thickening and she was sure panic was overtaking him again. This reminded her of his first awakening. Could it be that Sesshoumaru was still delirious?

 

“My-my…my arm.”

 

His erratic breaths slowed and his face relaxed a bit. He was letting the information sink in she supposed. Wait…he was acting like this was new, shocking information!

 

“It's gone,” he said softly as he looked away from her. “But I can feel it.”

 

He was experiencing phantom sensations and to top it off he was acting like he didn't know his arm was severed in battle. That could cause huge psychological distress.

 

“Don't you remember?” she asked.

 

He turned to look at her again, this time a small light of recognition shone in his eyes. She was glad for this—she wasn't exactly stoked about taking on such a delicate subject. But just a moment ago he really looked like he didn't know what had happened…

 

“I…remember you.”

 

Oh…gods…what was going on? He remembered her, but not losing his arm? That was entirely too strange for her liking.

 

“You remember me? What do you recall?”

 

“Your eyes.”

 

Oh gods! She could feel it rising, but there was no stopping its unrelenting journey. She could feel the red heat spreading across her cheeks and over her nose until it covered her entire face. Then it would travel downward until it reached her collarbone. Why did she blush so badly when she became embarrassed?

 

“Uh…Sesshoumaru…”

 

He now looked crestfallen as though some nasty kid had crushed his favorite toy and stole his lollipop in the process. He looked like that kid that finally came to terms with the fact that they were always going to be bullied. Something had clicked into place in his mind…and it wasn't good…

 

“You said that earlier,” he said as he looked off into the distance behind her. “Is that my name?” She nodded slowly.

 

`OH KAMI!' Sesshoumaru had lost his memory! Sesshoumaru couldn't remember anything! Sesshoumaru didn't know his name was Sesshoumaru! This was bad!

 

“What is your name?”

 

Sesshoumaru wanted to know her name! Sesshoumaru had never before wanted to know her name! She swore she could feel the earth spinning at that moment and she feared that gravity would fail at any second and she would plummet off into space. This was not what she had expected.

 

“Kagome.”

 

“Kagome,” he whispered, her name rolling off his tongue like a sweet delicacy. She had never heard him say her name before and to be quite honest, she liked how he said her name—she liked it very much.

 

“I can't remember…anything. You knew my name. You know me?”

 

That look in his eyes spoke of hope. He wanted some answers, but would he like what she had to tell? She knew very little about him, but what she did know was not exactly praise-worthy. He had done terrible things, things that sparked fear and dread within the hearts of many.

 

But he had also spared Inuyasha and let Kohaku live. He had killed Mukotsu, thus saving her life as well as the lives of Miroku and Sango.

 

He looked after an orphaned little girl…

 

“We were not exactly close,” she began uncomfortably. “But I do know some things about you.” She paused, not knowing where to begin while he just continued to stare at her, awaiting his answers. “Uh…your arm. I was there when you lost it.”

 

How was she supposed to tell him this—that his own brother took his arm? How was she supposed to tell him that it happened because his anger and hatred had compelled him to do horrible things? How was she to tell him that he was obsessed with trifling things? Should she just spill it and tell him that he was a bigot, despising his own brother because his blood wasn't pure? How the hell should she approach this? Seriously, she didn't sign up for this thinking she'd be dealing with an amnesic Sesshoumaru.

 

He was still looking at her, waiting for her to continue—waiting for her to tell him what had transpired on that dreadful day when he lost his arm. Little did he know that he was anticipating horrendous news.

 

“Your brother, or half-brother really, cut it off.”

 

He looked positively shocked. His face was marred with the most bitter expression she could recall ever seeing. Did this news hurt him…?

 

“Why?” he choked out.

 

She sighed, once again unsure of what to say. Maybe she should just say it all…

 

“You and your brother never really got along. You fought over a sword—an heirloom.” Or maybe she wouldn't say it all… But what he said next wasn't what she had anticipated, not at all.

 

“What is his name? My brother?”

 

He didn't ask for a detailed recollection of the battle. He didn't ask about the sword. He didn't ask for whom the heirloom was rightfully intended. He wanted to know his brother's name.

 

And he didn't even add the word `half' to it…

 

“Inuyasha.”

 

Then Sesshoumaru tipped the world over once again.

 

“What is he like?”

 

She was stunned, nearly speechless. Out of all the things he could've ask, he asked this. He could have prompted her for all the details of what she knew of him, but instead he chose to learn more about his estranged younger brother.

 

“Well,” she said quietly, again trying to determine a point of origin, “he's younger than you and he's only a half-demon—“

 

“I am youkai?”

 

That was certainly unexpected. He needed to quit surprising her before she lost her mind—this was just too surreal!

 

“Yes, a taiyoukai to be exact. Inuyasha had a human mother.”

 

“I see. Demons and humans usually do not care for one another, do they?”

 

“No.”

 

“This is why my brother and I did not `get along'?”

 

Sesshoumaru definitely caught on quickly. He must have a very inquisitive mind to decipher such a truth from subtle clues.

 

“Yeah, basically.” He didn't speak for a while, but when he did, Kagome began to question everything she knew of him.

 

“Did I wrong him? The day he took my arm?”

 

His eyes looked hazy and distant, as though he knew the truth, but didn't want to face it. She wondered if he regretted asking, but he stood fast, bravely awaiting the consequences…

 

“Yes.” She lowered her head, expecting him to say nothing…but Sesshoumaru wasn't done throwing the unexpected into her day.

 

“You still have not told me about him.”

 

She smiled genuinely at the demon lying on his back, his features soft and hard simultaneously. Sesshoumaru was not what she had expected at all. “Oh, yeah… Where to begin?”

 

x x x

 

When he had tried to scratch that ridiculous itch, he found…nothing. His left arm was not there. All that he could find was a stump just below his shoulder, though he could swear he felt his limb as though it was still attached to his body.

 

But he drew a blank, again. He frantically searched his mind as though trying to find something important he had lost. He looked in every possible corner that may harbor what he had misplaced, but he found…nothing. When he realized he couldn't remember why his arm was gone, he then realized that he didn't know where he was from or how he got here. Then he noticed that he couldn't even recall his own name. He had forgotten, but how does one forget his own name?

 

There was only one possible answer—he had lost his memory, but how? And that was the ultimate problem—he couldn't remember how. He was obviously attacked; his body gave that much away, and his memory must've been lost in that recent battle. This was not a good situation to be in…

 

Then he lost it. He began to panic as though some malevolent force was holding him in the realm of the living by a mere thread. It would snap at any moment, forcing him to plummet into the realm of the netherworld and he was not prepared for that. How could one face his own transgressions if he could not even recall what he had done?

“Sesshoumaru?”

 

He turned to the bearer of that voice—that voice that was hauntingly familiar as though it had originated from a ghost within his own dreams. It was a girl and something about her scratched the surface of his mind, asking to be released. For some unknown reason it frightened him and he refused to face it just yet. So he focused on his missing limb.

 

“My-my…my arm. It's gone,” he said softly as he looked away from her. “But I can feel it.”

 

“Don't you remember?” she asked.

 

No, he did not remember. He looked at her intensely this time, studying her features. When his eyes met hers he noticed their unique color. She had blue eyes. He remembered those eyes.

 

“I…remember you.”

 

She appeared shocked that he remembered her. Why? Was she not here by his side? This girl was strange indeed.

 

“You remember me? What do you recall?”

 

Didn't she realize he remembered nothing? Perhaps they were not well acquainted. But if that was the case, then why was she here? A voice in the back of his head whispered to him that perhaps she was simply a kind soul. Why did that thought make him feel so empty? Maybe it was because that particular alternative screamed of loneliness. But why ponder it? It wasn't as if he could remember if he had led a lonely life.

 

“Your eyes.”

 

That comment flustered her so badly she literally turned red. How strangely sweet… Why was that sweet? He had no clue.

 

“Uh…Sesshoumaru…”

 

That was the second time she had said that name. Was that his name?

 

“You said that earlier. Is that my name?”

 

She nodded very slowly, belying her disbelief. She apparently was starting to grasp the concept that he could in fact recall nothing. Who was this girl with the familiar eyes?

 

“What is your name?”

 

This girl had very odd expressions. They were also bold, openly relaying her current feelings, which he had noticed seemed to change quite frequently. He then realized that he couldn't identify many of the emotions playing on her face, though he could tell they were altering every so often. `Strange…'

 

“Kagome.”

 

“Kagome,” he repeated softly. She reacted funny to that—had he repeated her name incorrectly? He thought not and decided it was time to get to the point. “I can't remember…anything. You knew my name. You know me?”

 

He needed her to know. He needed her to tell him something so that at least he could have some tangible recollection to hold onto so that he didn't walk about as a completely blank slate. The thought of being merely a shell did not sit well with him. He needed to begin rebuilding and he hoped that she could provide him with the foundation.

 

“We were not exactly close,” she began uncomfortably. “But I do know some things about you.” She paused and he waited patiently for her to continue. He felt a bit disappointed at this knowledge because she would be unable to give him a plethora of much needed information. But maybe she could lead him to people that could? “Uh…your arm. I was there when you lost it.”

 

Well, that would certainly be nice to know. He was missing a major limb after all and he had no idea as to why that was the case. He realized he felt oddly compelled to know the reasons behind things—like his origins, his current state of immobility and such. He didn't even know if he was capable of defending himself. Did he lose his memory because he lacked battle savvy? His head was spinning from his hunger for knowledge and—

 

“Your brother, or half-brother really, cut it off.”

 

He stopped his thoughts and focused his sight on the girl, though he had been staring blankly at her the entire time.

 

He hadn't even thought about that yet. What kind of person was he?

 

“Why?” This news made his heart sink like an anchor in water, the burden too heavy to float upon the surface. This pain ran deeper than water—he could feel it…in his blood.

 

“You and your brother never really got along. You fought over a sword—an heirloom.”

 

So, he picked on his brother and his brother cut his arm off in spite? No, she was hiding something from him. Her blatant pauses, her subtle changes in pitch, her rapidly blinking eyes—all this whispered of hatred. He needed to know—he felt compelled to learn the truth no matter how much hurt it promised to inflict.

 

Maybe he was the type that didn't know how to drop things…

 

“What is his name? My brother?”

 

“Inuyasha.” She seemed pleasantly surprised, though she was completely unaware of all the suffering that was building inside of him, threatening to burst through his veins. He could not remember, but he could feel the malice on edge at the mention of that name. Though he had forgotten the syllables, he had not forgotten the implications it held that was tapping on the edge of his psyche before she even spoke it.

 

Inuyasha… Much had been caused by that name, but what? He could not recall…

 

“What is he like?”

 

“Well, he is younger than you and he's only a half-demon—“

 

“I am youkai?” He knew the answer before she had even confirmed it. He was…different than his brother. This must have caused many problems, but why?

 

“Yes, a taiyoukai to be exact. Inuyasha had a human mother.”

 

So he was one of the most powerful of his kind. An impure bloodline was looked down upon, was it not? “I see. Demons and humans usually do not care for one another, do they?”

 

“No.”

 

“This is why my brother and I did not `get along'?”

 

“Yeah, basically.”

 

It was strange, but he knew these things, though he could not decipher a point of origin. It was surreal and he didn't like it one bit. He liked the ground where he could feel everything under his feet, knowing what it was he treaded upon. He despised the water where anything could be lurking below him. He disliked its unfamiliarity, which was why he couldn't stand knowing these things while not knowing where he had learned them. He had no points of reference and it was infuriating!

 

For example, how did he know he disliked water? It was all so pointless to contemplate. He would just recall blanks and further disappoint his overwhelmed mind.

 

Then another thought teased his delicate mind, causing his hair to stand on end. She was very apprehensive about sharing this information with him for very obvious reasons. And she seemed to know his brother… And he seemed to possess a questionable character… It crashed over him like waves breaking upon the sand, leaving behind cluttered residue that no one wished to keep.

 

“Did I wrong him? The day he took my arm?”

 

He needed to know—he had to know. He would not cower away; he would stand his ground and take it. He would absorb the impact of the tsunami-like consequences if that were what she had to give him.

 

“Yes.”

 

The waves crashed into him, but he still stood. His throat felt tight from the harshness of her implications. He was not a good person, was he? But why? Why was he this way? Surely no one was born innately evil, were they? That seemed too simplistic and he was not one to take the easier path because it implied less effort.

 

Yes, he supposed he really wasn't the type to sway with the tides. He was an obsessive person, for he needed to know why he went bad, and he would find out. But for now he would like to learn more about his estranged family, hoping that it would shed some light on his own persona. Or maybe it would spark a forgotten memory.

 

“You still have not told me about him.”

 

x x x

 

 

She talked and talked about Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru listened intently. Yep, she was right, he was a good listener. He seemed slightly disturbed the whole time as though he could not believe he had treated his brother as such. It made her wonder why Sesshoumaru was so ruthless and cold before. He was practically a blank slate now, though he knew certain things, especially cultural or societal norms. But his knowledge of these things frustrated him because he had no memory of where or how he had learned them. Memories were nice things, for they reminded one why they turned out the way they did and what experiences life had granted them. Every time she thought of death her mind transported her back to that day when she was six years old walking back to the shrine with her mother.

 

It was funny how memories worked. Most people would have thought about their dead father when the subject of the afterlife came up, but instead she thought of a dog.

 

Sesshoumaru didn't have these recollections, and thus he had nothing to tell him who he was. No matter how sweet or bitter a memory was, it was a part of a person's foundation. And that would never change.

 

She had planned on leaving Sesshoumaru to his own devices when he was fully conscious, but not now. She would help him regain his memory and if she failed, she could at least help him obtain some new memories. But she didn't want to fail. She now wanted to know, more than ever, what had happened to Sesshoumaru in the past that made him into the feared youkai she had known.

 

x x x