InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Temporal Sequence ❯ Chapter 17

Temporal Sequence

 

Chapter 17:

 

xxx

 

“Fold,” Maurus said with a short sigh. Maurus was a very theatrical man and so short sighs were uncharacteristic of him, unless of course he was engaged in a heavy bout of drinking, which was not uncommon. The desert youkai took a long swig of his sake as Sesshoumaru gathered up the cards, making sure to take a sip of his own drink for good measure. He supposed it was natural for a being empowered with wind and sand to be constantly thirsty, but Maurus seemed to think everyone was parched at any given moment. The thought made him smile as he dealt the cards. Maurus said the Egyptians had invented cards and his homeland was near that kingdom and so he learned the many games with child-like fervor. Apparently, Maurus was a gambling man, among the many other things he was, and so he taught Sesshoumaru some of the games to keep himself entertained. It wasn't like Kazuma would play with him.

 

Sesshoumaru won the next hand and just as the slurring Maurus began accusing him of cheating, Kazuma entered the room, sucking the atmosphere dry of its former amiability.

 

“What is going on here?”

 

“I'll tell ya waz goin' on here,” Maurus said unevenly. “This here boy take my monies. He cheater I say.” Kazuma looked unfazed, but Sesshoumaru noticed his eyes roaming about the room and finally settling on the cases of empty sake.

 

“You are drunk and gambling with a sober opponent? How foolish.” He sighed softly as he mentally cursed his luck. Maurus was under the impression that he, too, was drunk, though he knew it was impossible before he even agreed to play. The cards wouldn't have been nearly as much fun had he not been deceiving Maurus the whole time.

 

“Sober?”

 

“Yes, sober,” Kazuma mocked degradingly, though Maurus was too incapacitated to notice the slight, much less retaliate. “Sesshoumaru is a poison maker like his father. Alcohol is merely a weak poison. So weak, in fact, that his blood most likely purified it so quickly that he didn't even feel a change in perception whatsoever.”

 

Well, that much was true… He'd probably never get to play cards with Maurus again.

 

“You mean his father can't get drunk either?”

 

“No.”

 

“Then why pretend?” Maurus asked indignantly, suddenly seeming to sober up a good bit as he tried to digest this new, shocking information. Sesshoumaru knew why his father pretended to be drunk when he went out with Maurus. It was disgusting and lowly, making his father appear nothing more than a sleazy womanizer willing to rut anything capable of reproduction.

 

“It's a ploy to bed human women,” Kazuma stated evenly. “It seems they find a drunken youkai more approachable. Sesshoumaru, come with me.”

 

“Not before he gives me back my money,” Maurus said, his voice muffled by the table his head was now laying upon.

 

“You were the one foolish enough to lose it. It now belongs to him.” Maurus grumbled a few incoherent curses as Sesshoumaru gathered his winnings and followed his uncle through the corridors.

 

“I'm proud of you,” Kazuma said flatly, though Sesshoumaru could feel his smile. “Your cunning pleases me and as you are well aware, it always makes my day when Maurus suffers.” He entertained a small smile of his own at the thought of Maurus being bested at his own game.

 

“Where are we going? Do I need to bring anything?”

 

“You need nothing but your body for what I have in store for you.” The sound of Kazuma's voice made him a bit uneasy.

 

After several more minutes of traversing through the dark hallways, they suddenly came to a halt in a very familiar corridor. This was his hall containing his chambers and other quarters for whatever use he deemed necessary. Why was Kazuma leading him to his own rooms? A few feminine scents came to his attention and suddenly he wasn't so lost anymore. Should he object? He recalled Maurus' words centered on taint, but the more Sesshoumaru thought about it, the angrier he became. He cared for Hitomi, but had he lain with her, it would have become tainted nonetheless, for her heart was not reserved for youkai. He honestly had no idea what his father or his uncle had experienced as their first introduction into the world of carnal pleasures, nor had it even crossed his mind to ask. He was always so busy and shortly after he became aware of his own sexuality, Hitomi had been added to the scheme of things. Should he embrace this?

 

Why shouldn't he? He was already jaded and figured love would never equate to anything of significance in his life. His father had formed an eternal union with his mother not out of love, but out of political necessity. In addition, he could finally get this part of his life out of the way and figure out what all the fuss was about.

 

They walked silently into one of the rooms in his hall and there, waiting in a rigid line, were three youkai females, all dressed very provocatively. Each wore a little smile—one shy, one pretty and one downright seductive. They were all very attractive he supposed, but their beauty didn't exactly impress him. He would not let an obsession with superficial things cloud his judgement—not like some people did…

 

“Pick whichever you like. They are yours,” Kazuma said with an arm extended. “Think of them as the beginning of your own harem. You can have all three at once if you like.”

 

He cleared his throat as he carefully examined each female. This was his first time and so he knew he'd only chose one. He didn't know what to think exactly, but these women were definitely older than him, making him think his uncle had purposefully chosen experienced females. That way, he could become well versed in the art of pleasure. He wasn't opposed, but he wasn't convinced that he needed to know how to please a woman anyhow. The inclination just wasn't all that strong.

 

The first he approached was the bashful one, but something about her seemed fake. She was pretty with turquoise hair and blue eyes. He liked her shape the best. Her curves looked the softest. The second was perhaps the loveliest of them all with ebony hair and deep purple eyes that almost looked black. The third was the epitome of a youkai beauty. She was tall with gold-colored hair and crimson eyes, her body strong and defined. Upon closer inspection, he realized there was something off about all of them and the answer hit him almost immediately. They were objects of pleasure and they found their niche and went with it, something that differentiated them from all the other whores out there. The first one played on her innocence, the second counted on her unique beauty and the third relied upon her power of seduction.

 

He chose the second one. Her face was the most beautiful of the three and he wanted to run his fingers through her pretty dark hair. Kazuma nodded in approval and directed them to a room further down the hall. Apparently, it was unscrupulous to take them in the room he normally slept in.

 

Once the screen was shut, he had no idea what was expected of him. In fact, he felt rather awkward and out of his element. He could draw blood with the best of them, but he felt incompetent when it came to women. Hitomi was a disaster and knowing his own manhood the way he did, he knew it just didn't stand on alert at a moment's notice. He found this youkai very attractive, but that didn't mean he was ready to fuck her here and now. This was going to be more difficult than he first thought.

 

“Do you know what kind of youkai I am?” she asked as she slipped off her sandals.

 

“A bird of some sort, I think,” he said anxiously, inwardly cringing at the nervous energy bubbling in his voice.

 

“Yes,” she said with a smile, “A raven. You like things that are dark, don't you?”

 

“Yes,” he said truthfully, his breath hitching as she began untying her robes.

 

He had read about all sorts of youkai and he recalled that bird youkai were visually stimulated, more so than most other youkai. He supposed that applied to sex as well and not just the battlefield. He didn't know what the hell that meant to her though!

 

Her layered robes landed softly at her feet and he took his first look at a nude woman and he couldn't say he was disappointed. He liked the way the light moved over her body, seeming to caress her as she moved. He traced the shadows dancing on her belly as she sauntered up to him, modesty far removed from her vocabulary.

 

“When I was hired,” she said softly as her fingers traced the markings on his cheek, “I thought I'd be pleasuring your uncle. Not that I would have minded, but this…this is much better.” He swallowed hard, his mouth suddenly dry as she brushed her fingertips across the moon on his forehead. “I know this is your first time. I am honored,” she whispered into his ear. He hadn't even realized that he lowered himself to facilitate contact. “I promise to be gentle.” She licked his ear and ran her hands up his stomach, sliding one into his kosode.

 

This was it—no more ignorance after this and so he embraced the moment and threw himself into it. His body was no stranger to lust and so his instincts directed him to his former pattern. After she removed the top layer of his clothing, he gripped her forearms and spun her around into the wall. She was surprised and the shock grew exponentially when he ravaged her mouth, his hands roaming over her hips. The curve of her hip wasn't as exaggerated as Hitomi's and that left him feeling disappointed. He reprimanded himself, vowing not to be distracted by memories of some stupid human girl. He gripped her waist, his claws biting into her flesh. She apparently liked the aggression and met him full-force, her tongue vigorously exploring him. Her arousal was growing by the second and when she finally disrobed him, the scent nearly made him lose his mind. Visuals did the trick for him this time, but he knew that it would be different with other types of youkai.

 

The sex was rough; blood and sweat intermingled with the scent of semen, making him want to vomit when it was over. He rather enjoyed himself, though, and he learned something very important—he didn't like it when she faced him. It was almost degrading to have this stranger look into his eyes as thrust in and out of her. He didn't even know her name.

 

At that realization, he demanded that she leave. He would never call for her again, despite her pretty dark hair. The next two were quite different. He took the golden haired one the next evening. Not that he preferred her to the other, but Kazuma kept droning on and on about the damn minx. He wanted to know what the fuss was all about and learned that it was definitely overplayed. She was much like the first one except she didn't meet his aggression with equal violence, but rather wished for him to dominate her once penetration began. He took her from behind, having no desire to look into her blood-colored eyes and she seemed to like it like that. He got off and that was all that mattered.

 

The final one, with the shy smile, was quite a surprise. She was bashful, making him all the more eager to force her into submission. Her hair was short, which he didn't like, but darker than the last one, which he did like. Her curves were more pronounced and a bit softer than the previous ones and he found himself being more careful with her, although he still refused to face her once inside. After some time passed, he had a full harem and rarely rutted the same woman twice and he never had more than one in his chamber at a time. It sparked him as repulsive and he figured if he had two at once then his odds of having to look one in the eyes while fucking would be much too great. He never faced them after the first one and after the third one, he stopped kissing them. Despite his lack of enthusiasm for the actual women themselves, they thought him a good fuck. He almost laughed when he first caught wind of the rumor. They found him pleasing when he had no intention of pleasing any of them!

 

By the time his harem was complete, every last one had dark hair except two. He had decided to keep the turquoise-haired one because her soft curves were a rarity among youkai. He also decided to keep a white-haired one because she had an exceptional mouth.

 

Then his father made a comment about his choices.

 

“Ever wonder why you always seem to choose the dark-headed ones?” his father had asked, a coy smile splitting his mouth. He said nothing, but made it an urgent point to add a little colorful diversity to his harem.

 

Sex became his hobby and he loved it. It would seem that when he found something he liked, he overindulged himself. His anger died as he pounded into them and he held such power over them that he felt an enduring high of elation. But things began to change. His father died, Maurus was gone and his brother was born, but that didn't deter his now famed lust.

 

However, the elemental youkai with the turquoise hair ended up falling in love with him, or so she had said. He wondered if he should have remained so careful with her for so long. Had he not, she may not have gotten those ideas of tenderness in her head. Well, he probably did bring it upon himself since he called upon her the most. The others were more beautiful, but she was so soft. Her name was Yuki and he fucked her one last time before he sent her away. She was the only one whose name he would ever recall.

 

She cried and made a scene, both of which didn't go unnoticed by the entirety of the citadel. The soldiers thought it was hilarious and patted him on the back for knowing how to deal with unruly women. The female servants cried for Yuki's unrequited love, but none said anything directly to him. The rest of his whores were delighted with her departure, each hoping to be his next favorite. Kazuma had different things to say on that matter.

 

“She declares her love for you, then you fuck her and send her off?” Kazuma asked as though he didn't quite understand the situation.

 

“More or less, yes.”

 

“If she loves you, then you know she is loyal and will do anything to please you. Why send her away?”

 

“A whore should know her boundaries. There is no love in fucking.”

 

“I guess Maurus actually had a point once.”

 

“And what is that supposed to mean?”

 

“Perhaps I did in fact taint you. My intention was not for you to belittle the act of sex, but for you to get over that damn girl. Sex is a good and natural thing, but it should be done with some sense of honor and restraint.”

 

His anger was growing with every word. Kazuma started all this and now he's changing his mind? This had been going on for a very long time and now Kazuma says he lacks restraint and dishonors his whores. But what are whores for if not disrespect? They disrespected themselves far more than he did. They didn't demand kisses or endearments, nor tender caresses. Hell, they didn't even care that he never faced them when in the act as long as he was rutting them instead of the next whore.

 

“This is ridiculous,” he scoffed. “Why wait so long to call out my immorality? Is it because of that deluded girl?”

 

“That `deluded girl' had been a mainstay in your harem for a long time, Sesshoumaru. She should have held some importance to you. But you threw her away like a broken blade. That concerns me. I understand life has not been perfect for you and that sex has been a sort of…release for you, but this has got to change and quick.”

 

He refused to see the logic in Kazuma's argument. He wasn't a child anymore; he didn't have to listen. “It is not your place to tell me what to do. I do as I please.”

 

“Of that I am aware.”

 

He walked away then, continuing the charade for a few decades thereafter, but it all came crashing down when Kazuma finally shared a deep-seeded secret with him—one so dark and repulsive that he dismissed his entire harem and aligned himself with a lifestyle of celibacy.

 

Lust was a thing of disgust and he would never succumb to its sickly call again.

 

xxx

 

He felt slightly awkward after telling the entirety of his sex life to Kagome. He felt even stranger when he realized that it had indeed been a long time since he last revisited his old pastime. He looked at Kagome and anxiously awaited a comment—any comment—to ease the building tension. He had been able to speak with her about almost anything with little inhibition, but this topic had become more difficult than he had first anticipated. Why did sex always become a burden?

 

A tiny smile slowly elevated the sides of her mouth until it became a full-fledged grin. That wasn't what he expected.

 

“You're a whore-monger,” she accused teasingly. Now that was most definitely not what he expected.

 

“Well, I think you'll understand in a few hundred years when you're older.” It was his turn to smile.

 

“What's that supposed to mean?” she asked, her smile faltering.

 

“You'd be a whore-monger at some point in your life as well, if you lived as long as I already have.”

 

“How do you know I'm not one now?” she asked, sticking her little up-turned nose higher into the air.

 

“You're not.”

 

“How do you know?”

 

“You're too modest. My guess is that you've hardly even been kissed, if you have at all.”

 

The strangest thing happened when he said that. Her face had retained the cutest little tint of pink throughout his entire story and suddenly it went stark white only to flush even redder than before, when she first asked him about his `sexual desires.' If she was Maurus right now, he would have won some money.

 

“Never been kissed, Kagome?” he teased. He knew he was acting a little childish, but he felt the need to cut through the thick atmosphere. Besides, she started it by calling him a whore-monger.

 

“Once.”

 

He hadn't expected her to answer and now he didn't know what to say. He knew she was unwed because she traveled so much, but she was well past her prime, for a human. But things were different in her time and she acted as though she wasn't supposed to be married yet, but still…

 

“How old are you?”

 

“Nineteen,” she replied in the most depressingly deadpanned voice.

 

“When do humans normally wed in your time?”

 

“Well, the nature of marriage has changed a lot. With more freedoms and a much higher standard of living, people wait now. You can choose who you want to marry and sometimes that takes a long time.”

 

“You are digressing. I asked a simple question.”

 

“About twenty-five, I guess. Why?”

 

“So, you are not passed your prime then?”

 

“What's that supposed to mean?” she asked accusingly. She was a torrent of emotions again and he was actually relieved that the chaos that was Kagome distracted him from his former musings on his lack of sex.

 

“I don't understand your disappointment, that's all.” He knew humans were rigid creatures who demanded monogamy and repressed their sexuality. Sex within a marriage was deemed moral and anything else was a dishonor to the individual's entire family, which was doubly true for women. He supposed their self-imposed frustrations were logical in order to prevent social problems.

 

“It's different in my time. There's a little stigma to it, like you don't want your mom to know you did it before the Big Day, but if she does find out, it's not the end of the world.”

 

“Explain.”

 

“Basically, people have sex all the time now before marriage in my era. I-I'm…I…uh…”

 

“You are the exception.”

 

“Yeah,” she said, diverting her eyes. He was growing tired of that particular reaction.

 

“Does that bother you?”

 

“Well…I don't care what people think of me, if that's what you mean. But-but I…I have issues with it.” Her reluctance to say the word sex made him want to chuckle.

 

“You mean you have desires that are difficult to handle.”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Like what?” By the gods, he prayed she'd answer! For some reason, he really wanted to hear what she'd say.

 

She looked affronted for a moment and then she cleared her throat and righted her back. She looked him square in the eyes and he silently thanked the gods for this small gift.

 

“I have dreams about it. I see it everywhere in the modern era. My friends talk about it and I see a movie and I get wet!” She slapped her hand over her mouth, the red hue overwhelming her face in record time. Even he had trouble believing she had said those words.

 

So, Kagome was afflicted by naughty dreams? He wondered what she dreamt about. He squashed the deviant thought immediately. Not only was it disconcerting in itself, but he also figured that her dreams would feature his brother as the headliner. He saw a dog ear twitch in his mind's eye and a red haori fluttering in the breeze…

 

He remembered what Inuyasha looked like…and all it took was Kagome talking about erotic dreams.

 

“I'm such a pathetic lecher. I feel so dirty and vile. I'm worse than Miroku! Are you even listening? Oh gods, this is so embarrassing!” she whined pitifully, making him willing to delay further exploration into his revived memory of Inuyasha—at least what he did recall.

 

“It means that your body is ready—it has been ready. Sex is not a bad thing, Kagome. The only question that remains is whether your mind is ready.”

 

He now knew that it was vital to be in the correct state of mind when deciding to have sex. He had not been mentally ready for it, betrayal still deep and anger still dominant. He abused the act of sex in order to forget himself and it worked, but along the way he lost of piece of himself. He never even asked them their names. What kind of man acts so carelessly with others? He turned his attention back to Kagome, wondering if she had any thoughts on his statement. He needed her to speak—to drown out the words in his head that reminded him of his cruelty—of how he smashed a woman's heart just because one had already destroyed his. He was so petty back then.

 

Kagome looked thoughtful for a moment and then her blush deepened and she buried her face in her hands. He wondered what she could possibly be thinking.

 

“I can't believe we just had that conversation.” She sure sounded like she was in disbelief.

 

“Why?”

 

“It's just something you don't talk about. Not like this.”

 

“Why not?”

 

“I don't know—you just don't!”

 

“There's no need to be embarrassed. Look at how many women I've bedded and I wouldn't even face them,” he said casually, hoping to give her some perspective. If she was dirty and vile for thinking about sex, then what did that make him? He refused to even think on it.

 

“Why wouldn't you face them?”

 

He hadn't expected her to ask that. It was something even he refused to explore for a very long time. His father was a good example of promiscuity and he showed no discretion. Youkai, hanyou or human—they were all fair game, though his preference rested with soft mortal flesh. His uncle was the opposite extreme, though he knew Kazuma wasn't celibate by any measure. Kazuma only dealt with youkai females and his affairs were secretive. Sesshoumaru never even knew his uncle had a sex life until well after his harem was established. He had no example on which to predicate sexual behavior and so he made due with what he knew. He knew women were shallow, their interest skin deep. They craved attention for the sole purpose of pitting it against each other. They wished to please him so that he would chose them over the others, making their lot in life seem more desirable. They had no desire to please him for his fulfillment, just their own.

 

As the superficial, unworthy creatures they were, he gave them what they deserved. He used them as a means to obtain instant gratification. He didn't want to notice how pretty their eyes were or how entrancing their faces became while lost in the throws of passion. Above all else, such lowly creatures had no right to look him in the eyes while pleasure overtook him. They didn't know him, nor would they ever—they would never love him and so they would never see him as such.

 

“They say a herder never looks his sheep in the eye. Do you know why?”

 

“Why?”

 

“Because he can't stand the thought of knowing the beasts only to kill them.”

 

“Sesshoumaru?” Kagome asked after a seemingly long spell of silence.

 

He sighed, long and hard. He knew by now that when the girl said his name like that and paused, it meant that she was seeking permission to ask a possibly uncomfortable question.

 

“Yes?” he said wearily.

 

“Have you ever felt anything when having sex? I-I mean…oh…never mind.”

 

“I'm not the one to ask of such things. The fulfillment I derived was short lived. I had to repeat it over and over again to refill my elation. It started to lose its excitement even before Kazuma ended my games.” He still to this day had no idea what people meant when they said they made love. It wasn't like that for him.

 

“What did he say to you that changed everything?”

 

The sky was darkening as he watched her twirl a strand of hair around her index finger. It was a nervous habit of hers and it seemed so endearing right now. He didn't regret his candor, but he hoped he made a strong impression. He didn't want her to give herself to someone unworthy like he had. He wanted her to respect herself and treat her body as a prize to be obtained. He wanted it to be better for her.

 

He was becoming aware that he was starting to care for the girl. He wanted things to be good for her. Should he tell her what his uncle said? Should he further recount his taint? He didn't want to stop being honest with her, not now, not ever.

 

“He told me something,” he began, pausing to watch her smooth a lock of hair behind her ear, “about my mother.”

 

x x x