InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ The Bliss of Nights Forgotten ❯ Sunrise & Sunset ( Chapter 4 )

By: EvilNekoEatsYourSoul

Last time: Unexpectedly, an image of Shippou emerged in her mind, and she could understand that need to protect someone you love. She nodded her head as a tear slid down her cheek. She hadn't realized until now how much she cared for and missed the young kitsune. Thankfully, Sesshoumaru seemed to be ignoring her once again.

"I understand," she said in another whisper, "I know how that feels, and for that reason I will help you."

Chapter 4: Sunrise & Sunset

"Shhh. . . Don't say anything because I know what you're thinking. This was a mistake, that's it right? You regret having done this. To you it is a weakness and weak is something you can never be. Perhaps it's better for both of us if you believe that to be true, although I did enjoy it and so did you at the time. But I get this foreboding feeling when I'm close to you, even in the joy and pleasure it brings there's still that cold feeling in my heart. A premonition, nothing good can come of this. I realize that and so do you, I think. Yet we're still drawn to each other despite our better judgment, almost against our own wills."

She wore one of those sad smiles he was becoming accustomed to as she turned towards him. Her pale skin was illuminated by the moonlight making her look ethereal. She was a mysterious angel, or maybe some forlorn fairy whose wings have been cut. Thus the pain in her eyes, she would never fly again.

"You feel it too, don't you" he nodded in an affirmative answer. It was true, a sense of unease had been growing within him even as he was learning to be happy and enjoy life. He was speechless as she came towards him in that slow sensuous way of hers. Without thinking he extended his hand to her but she turned away, staring at the half moon in the sky again.

"You're becoming too attached," she said, "what will you do when I am ready to leave? It's dangerous if you start caring too much." He didn't answer her. Instead he stood and wrapped his arms around her slender waist, burying his nose in the mass of her hair and smelling their combined scents. Having her near him like this was soothing; his racing heart began to slow regaining its steady rhythm. He opened his mouth to tell her something but found that he couldn't breath. Instead, she turned and pushed him away. Standing in her robes that billowed around her angrily.

"Listen to me, " her voice commanded, the gentle tone she had been using gone, "don't do this, you will regret it. I'm here to warn you-" but the voice was cut off as the dream ended, leaving the dreamer alone breathing harshly in the warm night air.

~*~

"This herb can be used to reduce fevers, you dry it and use the leaves for tea. Here, take a look." Kagome handed her young student a leaf of the herb, watching as the girl put it to her nose to smell it.

"Ack! It's smelly!" she said, dropping it to the forests' floor. A rare smile came to Kagome's lips as the young Rin made faces.

"Kagome-sensei. . ."

"Yes, Rin?"

"Why do you always look so sad now? You used to look happy all the time, before you came here. Is it because. . . you don't like Rin? Did Rin do something to make you mad?"

"No, Rin, never think that. It's not because of you. . . I just miss my friends" she lied, " don't worry about me. I'll be fine." The little girl smiled and nodded before running off to find some flowers.

There was a slight rustle of cloth behind her and she stood, facing away from the taiyoukai. She had no desire to speak to him anymore then was required of her; their conversations always ended badly. Her patient, caring disposition had abandoned her that day in the forest when she had nearly died. Where once she might have tried to befriend Sesshoumaru, she now only wanted to be away from him and everyone else in the world. To be left to her own thoughts in this fleeting life of hers.

He didn't move or speak, knowing she sensed him behind her. Despite his best efforts he was actually beginning to worry about the miko. She ate very little, spoke less and her eyes were usually devoid of emotion. It was unnerving. The girl had always been filled with life and determination when she had been in the company of his half-brother. He couldn't decide whether her lack of emotion was due to the absence of her friends, or was it just a result of her near death experience.

After a few more moments, he couldn't stand the silence any longer so he turned to leave. Her voice stopped him.

"That day, when I woke up in your castle, after my injury. . ." his back stiffened, he knew what she was going to ask `Why did you kiss me?' or at least he had thought that was what she was going to ask. Instead she said, "How long has it been since then?"

He nearly sighed in relief. But that would have been terribly uncharacteristic of him, so he said the first thing that came to his mind.

"I am not your personal calendar, if you cannot keep track of the days yourself then you are even more of an idiot then I first thought." And with that, he walked in the direction Rin had gone.

~Kagome~

I watched as he walked away. In the few weeks I had been here we had developed a routine. He would come out with Rin and I as I taught her about herb craft as part of her miko training. He would quietly follow us through the forests and fields that surrounded his castle. Then, Rin would run off, leaving us alone. At that point we would stand there, neither of us saying a word. Though I always get the feeling that he wants to say something, I have no desire to prompt him to speak. What could he say that would have any meaning to me? I know what I have to do, it is simple enough; Teach Rin in my ways, and restore his missing arm, that is the only bond we share.

It's business; there is no friendship or caring between us. There never could be, we are two heartless people without love for anything. . . That is what I have become: cold, perhaps more so then Sesshoumaru. Now all I can do is teach children like Shippou and Rin, be with them in the hopes of hiding the horrible truths I've discovered. Life is much to short, perhaps not even worth living. . . This weight is too much, everyday I feel like I'm going to buckle under it. But I can't do that. I have obligations to fulfill and that's all that I can see in life now, just joyless responsibility. It's becoming more difficult to live through the days and sleep through the nights. If it weren't for Rin and her excitement for life I would have been through with this already. I would just bring an end to all this meaningless time. . .

~*~

The morning lessons went by quickly and before long the trio were headed back towards the castle for lunch. Rin ran out ahead of the two adults who walked at a leisurely pace. Which left them in the usual tense silence that surrounded them both. Suddenly Kagome stopped, turning to look back at the field they had left. A gentle breeze rustled the long grass and swept through her unbound hair weaving its self around her face.

"I'm staying here," she said suddenly, "to think. I will return later this evening." Sesshoumaru looked back at her, a protest on his lips but her next statement stopped him.

"I may have thought of a way to heal your arm. I just need time to think about it, somewhere peaceful." With that said, she walked back the way they had come. She left the youkai lord standing there, watching after her.

~*~

The afternoon passed uneventfully and as dusk approached Sesshoumaru went to look for the miko who had not yet returned. It was a simple thing to follow her scent, but as he passed through the gates surrounding his castle he found he didn't have far to go. She sat a few yards away, looking towards the setting sun. With his youkai skill he silently walked towards her, stopping barely a foot behind her.

"I know you're there," she said "I can sense you."

"I wasn't trying to hide. If I was, you wouldn't know I was here." She just nodded.

"Well, what are you doing out here?" he continued. He knew he should probably stop talking, stop caring. He was giving too much of himself away, it was dangerous to let her get too close to any emotions he felt.

"Relaxing, there are only two times a day when I feel at peace. This is one of them."

"When is the other?"

She turned to him, looking a bit confused. It was an improvement from her usually cold demeanor. The same stoic mask that he usually wore did not suit her, `she should smile, she hasn't genuinely smiled since she awoke here' he thought.

She became quiet again, turning back towards the sunset and not answering his question. He continued to stand silently behind her and ignored the fact that she had not answered his question.

`What is he doing?' thought Kagome `he's never talked this much before. Never showed an interest in me. And now, when I want nothing to do with him, he decides to open up and be civil? . . . I don't understand him, he and Inuyasha have more in common then either them is willing to admit.'

Each seemed to be lost in there own thoughts, but she was the first to break the silence.

"Dawn, the two times during the day I feel at peace are during the sunrise and the sunset. It's the colors I think. They soothe me; make me forget everything, if only for a little while. I don't think even you could get me upset during a sunset." At that, she smiled. Even though it didn't quite reach her eyes there was a little of her old self in that smile. But as she realized that fact, the smile faded leaving her looking exhausted.

"Sometimes when I watch the sun rise or fall I feel almost like my old self. I find myself wanting to giggle and smile like the naïve fool I was. Especially when I think of Inuyasha and my other friends."

At the mention of his half-brothers' name he turned away from her, walking back into the castle and Kagome continued to watch the setting sun. Both vowed to forget that anything even remotely personal had been said.

~*~

"No," the youkai's eyes met those of the miko, willing her to obey. "you are not to endanger yourself in anyway while you are under my protection. If anything should happen to you my idiot half-brother would irritate me even more by trying to avenge you."

"If you want your arm back I need to regain my full energy back. I cannot do that if I'm continually disturbed and confined in here all day." She said as she motioned to the stonewalls that surrounded them. "All I ask is for three days alone, to rest and clear my mind."

Throughout the conversation both had kept their voices down in calm, serious tones. Kagome stood there, looking determined while Sesshoumaru sat in a high backed chair, thinking.

"I will not take responsibility for your safety if you leave this area without anyone to protect you."

"I have to be alone, there cannot be anyone there to distract me."

Anger started to fill the youkai, as she refused to be reasoned with. `Fine, he thought. What do I care if she gets hurt, the hanyou can try to seek vengeance; he is no match for me.'

"Fine, leave. Do not expect me to come to your rescue like that pathetic excuse for a hanyou. I won't come, if you die, it will be because of your own foolishness."

Having expected that answer to begin with, Kagome did nothing but turn on her heel and walk out of the room. `Finally, I'll have three days to myself. I can't stand being confined in these walls anymore.'

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~