InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ The Botanist and the Beast ❯ No Way Home ( Chapter 17 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

A/N Wow, hello everyone! Been a long time, but I am finally back to working on this story and committed to finishing it. Thanks to everyone who encouraged me to do so and still love the story after all this time. I hope that this, though short chapter, is enough to help make amends.

Disclaimer: I don't own, Sesshou, Rin and all other inu char's Takahashi Rumiko does. The characters from Alice in Wonderland belong to Lewis Carroll. Peter Pan and all it's characters is property of the heirs of  J. M. Barrie. I don't own anything but Donella, her relatives and Adrian... And lately I think they own me and want me to finish their damn story...

The Botanist and The Beast
Chapter 17: No Way Home

Dear Jabberwocky,

I am truly enjoying my looking-glass room. There is no one here to scold me away from the fire; so it is much warmer than the other room. And what fun it is when they see me through the glass in here, and can't get at me!

-Alice

My bed moved. Drowsily, I curled against the motion, attempting to keep it still and hold on to the wonderful dream I’d been having. Yet the bed fought back, pulling the warm, fuzzy blankets from me. I made an inarticulate noise of annoyed protest as I clumsily grabbed for the furry deserter and pulled it back to its place over my shoulder and under my chin, but the second I let go it reenacted its original withdrawal. This latest attempt at abandonment forcing me to snatch it back, clutch it close and burrow my way further down into the warm, silken sheets with an unintelligible mutter, that should have been, “I don’t want to wake up,” but sounded more like, “Don’t wata waoop.”

None of these strange occurrences signaled my treacherously fuzzy brain to remind me of where I had fallen asleep, or in whose embrace. Nor why I was incongruously encased in warm silk and cozy fur or why my mattress was breathing; until a hand slowly glided from my waist to my shoulder. Thus, when the electric current generated by that motion jolted through my skin, it turned my internal organs to jello, caused my heart to race, my body to jerk back and my eyes to fly open as that previously withheld knowledge slammed into the forefront of my mind.

The first thing to come into focus where laughing, liquid gold eyes; then an aristocratic nose and a pair of full lips curving slightly at the left corner in a teasing smirk. It was a good thing there was so much adrenalin pumping through my veins, because that look threatened to be my undoing. Instead I managed to deflect the breath hitching, mind blowing, knee weakening force of it with annoyance. “Is encouraging me to sleep and then aggravating me into wakefulness some sort of yokai torture technique, or is this another one of your fiendish maneuvers to allow me no serenity?”

His smile became broader, “Your rest has lasted much longer than your usual span, ningen, and watching you slumber bores me.”

“Well since you have now completely ruined my phenomenally good dream about Legolas Greenleaf, I’d say that makes us about even.” I announced indignantly as I disentangled myself from his far too comfortable embrace. “I am beginning to suspect that this spitefulness of yours is not race or species related, but originating entirely from your own mischievous soul. Surely -yokai or even other Inu-yokai would not subject their companions to such protracted and sporadic torment.”

The look he gave me was one of acrimonious disdain, but he had regained his stoic composure and didn’t take the bait. Instead, he remained silent as I went through the familiar morning routine of rousing the coals into a fire and starting breakfast in blessed solitude.

There was a time, not long ago, when his glacial quiet would not have bothered me. Yet as the day wore on, through my meal, clean up, and the mental and physical exercises my incorporeal ancestors mandated upon me, he remained uncommunicative and attentive to my every move. Hours went by and the only proof that he wasn’t carved from the same rock wall that supported him was the constant movement of his golden eyes as they shifted incessantly to keep me and my every action in view. It was a steadfast, creepy, nerve wracking distraction. The whole mess was compounded with my frustrated mind replaying the awkward events of those first early morning moments in my head and a terrifying certainty engulfed me. If he insists on the same sleeping arrangement tonight, I am most definitely going to wake up doing something I’ll regret, and be killed for it.

Uacteran chuckled wickedly, and a sharp, excited thrill rose from my mamo, yet neither commented on my internal damnation. Instead Uacteran ranted, Quit yer blath gatherin’ whelp, an’ go through that again, an’ this time pay yer own bill, I’ll nay help ye this time!

I let out my zillionth heavy sigh of the day and went through the kata again; all the while trying to focus my energy into cutting a nearby boulder in half and ignore my immovable audience of one, simultaneously. I expected to hear the blade nicking sound of by sword bounding off of the rock again as I continued to destroy it's edge.

I took a deep, practiced breath and called the power. Sliding like an electric eel through my feet, it rose effortlessly into my body, spreading a dazzling warmth as it approached my arms, flowing down through my hands and into the blade. I focused my inner eye and saw the rock clearly in my mind sliced neatly in two with less effort than cutting soft butter. My body finished the kata. Seconds later and I heard the stone halves rattle to the cave floor. The echoing noise was deafening, but it was the sound of victory! My half lidded eyes flew completely open and I let out a triumphant laugh. I whirled happily to face my companion, intent on sharing my success, only to meet an impassive gaze and an ironically quirked eyebrow.

My joy dissipated into sheepish embarrassment. Of coarse, my cutting a stupid rock in half with a crappy sword isn’t cool to a guy who can do the same thing with his bare hands. I sighed heavily and my shoulders slumped a little at the blow to my ego.

Ye did a great job lass! An’ ye should be right proud o’ yerself. Uacteran praised.

Aye, child ye’re finally comin’ inta yer own, an’ we’re right pleased wi’ ye. Donna give him no mind, he canna understand how hard it is fer one not born ta such power to learn ta wield it.

I'm done for to day.
I thought back at them as I sheathed my blade and turned from Sesshomaru. Sweat ran down my back and my muscles twitched from the day's exertion. This far from the cave's mouth there was no way to accurately gauge the passage of time, but my stomach and sore body convinced me that I had missed lunch by several hours. Feeling dirty and smelly I gathered my bath items and yukata before wordlessly heading towards the hot spring without a glance to my companion. Lunch can wait, I thought tiredly as I sat my burden by the water's edge and began to loosen by obi.


“I shall return shorty.” Sesshomaru's crisp words made me jump, but by the time I had turned towards them, he was gone. To tired to even be annoyed at his supercilious manner I finished undressing and lowered myself into the relaxing embrace of the hot spring and sighed heavily. Even though the heat made my aching body want nothing more than for me to soak a nice long time, I hurried through my bath, very cognizant that at any moment Sesshomaru could return and find me in a compromising state of undress.

 The contrast between the caves cool air and the hot spring covered  me in goose flesh as I rushed to towel off. “I wonder where he went.” I thought out loud, and a spoken answer from the cave entrance caused me to jump and drop my towel.

“Like a good doggy he is following the trail of Naraku's scent I laid for him. By now he is quite some distance from here and unable to interrupt us.”  Byakuya said with a small giggle as he eyed me, languidly dragging the paper lotus in his fingers back and forth along his jaw as he spoke. Stalling, and trying hard not to let my fear and surprise show,  I reached for my yukata and began to dress.

“What exactly is it that you want from me Byakuya?” I fought to keep my voice calm; my mind racing for a way to get to my weapon in the other cavern and damning Sesshomaru for an impulsive fool. Even my peanut gallery was silent and unhelpful.

“What do I want my dear?,” he asked with a smirk and a wink, as he thoughtfully tapped the lotus against his chin. “I was rather enjoying the view of your unclothed form, alas, my master's desire is the one I have here to serve. Give me the bracelet, hime-sama, and I shall be on my way.” His reasonable tone and lecherous expression helped my anger over come my fear. This man had nothing on Sesshomaru when it came to instilling terror in his prey, and Byakuya didn't have a thirty foot yokai to back him up this time.

He canna take it from ya unless ye give it to him, lass. My grandmother's voice was reassuring in my frantically spinning brain. Where have you been, how do I get out of this? I thought at her agitatedly. We are to week ta help ye, we exhausted ourselves teaching ye today. Her tone did sound weak and worn, and I momentarily wondered how much energy they had expended so that I could hear  her at all. Shaking my head and acknowledging that, at least for the moment, I as on my own. I tried to stall.

I extended my hand and hoped my grandmother was right. “It's right here, Byakuya, come and get it.” Suddenly an ugly worm-like yokai was on my arm, it's teeth intent on the band around my wrist. When it's mouth connected, the creature's entire body jolted and fell lifelessly to the ground.  Byakuya laughed.

“As Naraku suspected, the enchantment cannot be forced, but do not worry, hime-sama, I have a solution.” I hastily erected a barrier wall in front of me, but when he threw his lotus, instead of becoming a projectile it burst into a fine, shimmering powder that filled the cavern and drifted around my partition. As it settled, I felt my body become weak, a little girl with long white hair and flower barrettes appeared at my side and shoved me roughly into the spring behind me. The last thought I had before my mind faded to black was, Funny, you couldn't see your refection in the water before. When did it become so smooth?

I woke up to my alarm screeching that it was seven-thirty and shuffling noises coming from my bathroom. I rubbed my face in confusion, attempting to dispel the fog in my head. “Hurry up sleepy head, you have a meeting at nine and I need you to drop me off at the mechanics so I can get my car before then.” Adrian's voice rang out over the sound of the faucet. Trying to shake myself from the strange dream I'd had, something to do with elves, little green men, kids and feudal Japan. I found my slippers and shuffled to bathroom door. Adrian was at the sink brushing his teeth, black hair roguishly disheveled, blue eyes dancing at me in the mirror. I couldn't help smiling impishly back at him.

“Let's forget meetings and errands and stay in bed all day!” I announced, stepping forward and molding myself to his back as I wrapped my arms around him in an inverted hug. Resting my head on his shoulder blades I breathed him in. He smelled like mint soap, herbal shampoo and his aftershave. God I miss this smell. I thought, and then frowned trying to remember why I would miss something that was currently in my arms.

My confusion was banished by Adrian laughing, a sharp, carefree sound, “Wish I could babe, but there's a million things to do before dinner tonight, and I won't be the reason we catch hell from your sister for being late.” I stepped back as he turned in my arms and kissed me. Even though time was ticking by and we had a million things to do, is was a slow, sensual affair. Adrian was never one to rush the little joys in life. I giggle as he stepped back and playfully nipped my nose. “Now get in the shower dirty girl, I’ll make some coffee.” He was at the door and I had my night gown off before he asked, “You aren't wearing that thing into the shower are you?” Confused I looked down and realized I was wearing my grandmother's ruby bracelet. Touching the stone thoughtfully I felt loath to remove it.

“Meh, it's gold, it's not like it will rust,” and I laughed giving him a flirtatious wink, “it makes me feel beautiful.” A disquieting look crossed his face for a second before it was washed away with a rueful grin.

“Babe, you look beautiful all on your own,” he teased and giving the bracelet one last look, he left the room.

Time is a strange thing. It seemed like a week went by, but all I could remember about it was the feeling of time passing and a few key moments, as if I was only getting the highlight reel of my life. I remember teaching students, faculty meetings, working in my lab, dinners with my siblings and long, passionate nights in Adrian's arms, but no details. The one reoccurring theme was the bracelet. He wasn't forceful about it, or annoying, but Adrian was continuous in asking after the bauble and wanting me to take it off and wear another piece of jewelry.

Then things began to get even more confusing as, little girls with black hair would make me feel as if I’d lost something important and randomly cause me to weep. I started collecting anything in my day to day life with frogs or white dogs on them, and then Adrian and I had a major fight. It began with one of my crying fits as I saw children playing outside our condo. Adrian rushed from his chair and pulled me into his arms protectively. “Shush, hon, don't cry, love.” he murmured around kisses into my hair. I struggled to get a hold of myself as I hugged him, desperately clinging to his person until the pain in my heart eased and the sense of loss faded. When I was nothing but sniffles he lifted my face to his and wiped my tears away. I gave him a weak smile, which he returned with an accepting grin. “There now, lovely one. I've got something that will cheer you right up!” He said pleasantly.

He went to the bedroom and returned with a small oblong box. “I think that we need to do something about all these tears.” he stated conspiratorially as he handed me the box. Inside was a beautiful silver bracelet and several unattached charms in the shapes of little boys and girl with hollow bodies.

“What is this?” I asked him in confusion. He smiled and lead me to the couch before replying. He took the box from me and sat it in my lap; claiming my hands with his, he looking into my eyes earnestly.

“I think that all these tears are a sign, a biological response to our lack of a family.” I frowned and made to pull my hands away, but he clutched them tighter and interrupted the angry retort I had opened my mouth to make. “'Ella, listen to me, babe, please.” The appeal is his voice mollified me a little, but I continued to frown and my body was tensing for an argument. “I want this, I want a family with you and children to call our own. We have a good life, and I know we can make it better. I was offered a job with a litigation firm yesterday and I want to take it. I can still do pro bono advocacy on the side, but I want the better world we build to include our own family, our children and I think it's time we start that project.” He gave me a hopeful smile and my heart leaped into my throat and I threw my arms around him, headless of the box in my lap.

“Of course!” I laughed, and cried as I kissed him in sheer joy. Our life, a family, I could hardly believe it. I so desperately wanted a little girl of my own. I couldn't stop smiling.

Adrian gave me a devilish grin, “No time like the present to start.” I laughed as he lifted me from the couch and carried me into the bedroom, showering me with hot kisses the entire way.
Several wonderful hours later, I was dozing happily when he brought me the forgotten gift from the living room floor. Showing me the charms he explained, “it's a birthstone bracelet, you put the stone of the baby in the little figurine and attach it the the bracelet like so,” he said using a little girl charm to demonstrate how they affix to the chain. “I may have gone over-bored on buying charms, but I'd love us to have a big family. Here try it on,” he encouraged holding it out to my right hand, looking down at my grandmother's ruby band, I offered my left wrist instead and Adrian lost his temper.

“Really! Are you never going to take that thing off?!” He exploded. My left hand automatically covered the torq defensively and my anger took hold.

“Why is it such a big deal? Jesus H. Christ, Adrian! You act like it's some kind of personal insult to you!” I exploded jumping from the bed to tower over his sitting form. Quickly coming to his knees on the mattress he snatched my left wrist before I could distance myself.

“It's not an insult, you've just been wearing the ugly thing for weeks, and it's a bit crazy!” he declared trying to pull me towards him and back onto the bed. I resisted.

“Crazy! UGLY! This bracelet has been in my family for generation! It's the last gift my grandmother gave me before she died and if I want to wear it until kingdom come I'll do just that you dimwitted muic!” Adrian's face became pleading and it was obvious he was about to change his tactic when we were suddenly no longer alone.

“Unhand her.” A voice like a snow drift washed over the room. In the doorway stood an immaculate man with flowing white hair, in traditional Japanese cloths, hand on sword and death in his eyes. His name fell from my lips unbidden and suddenly I remembered everything.

“Sesshomaru.” It was almost a breath, but he heard it and his red eyes turned to me. Like a gallon of ice water had been dumped over my head, I gasped ,and became fully aware of the scene before the enraged daiyoukai. Adrian and I, both naked, him kneeling on the bed clutching the charm bracelet in one hand and my wrist in the other. Rumpled blankets, askew pillows, forgotten charms and box scattered in the mess. It was painfully obvious what activity we had been engaged in before the argument and a furious blush crept into my cheeks as I snatched my hand roughly from Adrian's grasp.

Infuriated, I rounded on the imposter in the bed, modesty momentarily forgotten, “Who the fuck are you and what it going on here?” Pain filled his blue eyes and he looked from Sesshomaru to me before answering.

“'Ella, love, it's me, Adrian, babe, you know who I am. Who is this guy and what the hell is he doing here?” The look of confusion and heartbreak on his face was almost unbearable, but I backed away from him as if he were a snake and without looking away I made my way, slowly to Sesshomaru's side.

“No, Adrian has been dead for years, and you are some machination of  Byakuya's to get me to give my torq  to him for Naraku.” The apparition hung his head and suddenly the world changed.

“The term invasive species refers to a subset of introduced species or non-indigenous species that are rapidly expanding outside of their native range. Invasive species can alter ecological relationships...” I trailed off looking around the classroom full of college students in confusion. Trying to remember how I got here or why I knew in my soul it wasn't real. With conviction I announced, “This isn't real either! Stop playing games, creature!” and then Sesshomaru and Adrian were there and the rooms was empty of all others. Instead of the dress skirt and button down shirt I had on moments earlier, I was wearing my white yukata and my feet were bare.

Sesshomaru was trapped in some sort of glass enclosure, furiously bouncing his body off of the wall nearest me and striking at it with his sword. No sound of his struggle reached my ears, but his fury was clear. The fake Adrian walked towards me, a heart-wrenching look on his face. “We had a perfect thing going, my pet.” He said wearily, “We were going start a family, have a good life, you were happy, I know you were. We can still have that, 'Ella, please, let me give you the life you dream of.” He had reached the podium I stood at while he was speaking, and his sorrowful blue eyes met mine. His words were mesmerizing, convincing in their sincerity and my own heartsick desire to believe them. The ache of loss I felt for the life I could have had with Adrian was like a wound in my soul, bleeding me dry and weakening my resolve.

A small voice inside of me whispered; urging me to look at Sesshomaru, but those emotive blue eyes drew me in like a whirlpool. I took a hesitant step towards Adrian, tears pricking my eyes, “But you're dead, you have been dead for years.” A suppressed sob made be swallow hard and my voice trembled as I continued in a soft whisper, “I cannot live a lie.”

“'Ella, you can't honestly say you'd choose him over me. Babe, I love you, heart and soul! I came back from the grave for you! That is the power of our love, our bond, don't throw away our second chance, I’m begging you.” The look of grief contorting his face was too much to bear. I turned my head away, and met Sesshomaru's gaze.

He had stopped fighting. He stood calm and regal, as if awaiting my judgment, cold as ice and immovable as the mountains in his glass cage. A picture of indomitable strength. “I gave my word, Adrian, I am needed somewhere else, this isn't my place anymore.” The words came out softly, but I heard my conviction in them. Rin, Jaken, Sesshomaru... Home. I turned to meet Adrian's gaze once more, now distorted with shock and rage.

“You would choose that animal! That inhuman monster with the blood of countless innocents on his hand, over me and our love, our life?” he sputtered incredulously.

“I am needed somewhere else,” I repeated with more conviction, urging him to understand, “The life we would have here is false, and would only serve my selfish whim. That's not who I am, nor is it who I want to be. The life I lead with Sesshomaru, Rin and Jaken is not a grand life, nor is it a romantic one, but there is love, and purpose there. I may not be a powerful help, but I will do what I can as long as I can until, with my very last breath, I cannot go on, and  I will know it was well worth the sacrifice. Even this, even you, my love.” Tears were in my eyes, but they refused to fall. The look of rage that clouded Adrian's features contorted his handsome face into a cruel, evil parody of himself.

“Love?!” he scoffed, “That beast cannot love you! It is incapable of such a soft emotion, though it is obvious you have fooled yourself into having feelings for it!” The violence and poisonous tone in Adrian's voice bordered on madness, a man beyond hope. This is the true monster, I thought,  this mockery of the man I loved.

“You have revealed your true nature, imitator,” my voice was now calm, malicious, but my resolve was set. “Adrian would have urged me to continue with my cause, deemed it worthy and encouraged me forward, not back. He would not have spoken of love in such jealous words, nor been so eager for me to give up my life to join him. You play well to my guilt, and my sorrow for letting him go, for caring for another and giving them a place in my heart. You read my rejection and pain easily, my hopeless feelings, but you truly don't know anything of the man you pretend to be. End this illusion and begone creature, I would return to the world with Sesshomaru and be done with these games. Go back to your master and tell him you have failed.”

“I will not fail!” The apparition bellowed and charged. Reaching blindly, I found an object on the lectern I had been teaching from and holding it forward, drove it upwards into is stomach, under his ribs, and into his heart. Adrian stepped back, a metal pointer buried in his chest, blood oozing from his mouth shock and terror in his eyes. “'Ella,” he gurgled as he fell to the floor in an ever widening pool of blood.

My surroundings faded away again, and this time I was at the bottom of a pool hot water, lungs begging for air and confused as to which way was up. Panicking to save myself, I paddled my arms and kicked my legs, but there was no light to guide me and no natural direction in those depths to orient to. My limbs began to weaken and my lungs burned, any moment my mouth would gasp open and I would inhale water, dizziness assailed me. Then, a strong arm circled my waist, and I was pulled against a tall, lean body as he propelled us forward with strong, sure kicks. I gasped and coughed as my head broke the surface of the hot spring, unable to do anything, but sputter, pant and hang limply from Sesshomaru's arm as he hauled me from the water.

He pulled us out onto a pile of limp paper cranes, blearily I noticed there was a path of them leading from the cave mouth to the pool, and many more still magically suspended in the air on either side of the swath. It was a puzzle for later cognition, my brain was far to muddled just then from lack of oxygen and fear. The cranes meant only one thing to me then, we still were not safe. I weakly made it to my hands and knees as Sesshomaru stood. So focused was I on getting to my dry cloths that I only vaguely noticed the other cranes move towards us. However, Sesshomaru dispatched them
so quickly with his whip they didn't even seem to pose a threat.

Having reached my kimono I began to change, discarding my modesty for expedience, though in truth, the soaked yukata was almost as revealing. “We are not safe here, we have to leave.” I said needlessly as I finally stood and donned my kimono. Sesshomaru, obviously keen to the danger, had inspected both caverns and gathered my pack as I dressed. He now stood agitatedly at the cave mouth scenting the air and searching the darkness, still dripping water from head to foot.

Not bothering to ring it out, I squeezed my sodden yukata into an outer pocket of my pack, put on my douchuugi and shouldered my bag. I stepped towards Sesshomaru, intending to inform him of my readiness, yet by the time I had opened my mouth I was already pressed into his body and we were flying from the cave, back towards the shiro. What had taken us five days to hike from only took him moments in flight; we were landing before I even noticed how damp he was, or that his mokomoko did in fact smell slightly of wet dog.

A/N a little note on language. Though Donella speaks English and it is magically translated into something the uni world inhabitants can comprehend, everyone else speaks their native language and hence the use of Japanese words and inflections in some of the speech. Since, though we can translate hime-sama into princess, it's connotation is a bit different that just that and the flavor of the word is just fun to have. Please read and review, and thanks again for your patience. My life has been pretty rough these last few years and the encouragement and love from all my fans helps me carry on. Special Thanks to Tootsiepop254, who read failed chapters and has always been there to give me a smile and an encouraging word.

Muic: irish gaelic, Pig