InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ The Chimera ❯ The 'M' Woman ( Chapter 3 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: Demonlordlover 
Written as a snark!fic. 'M' Woman comes to the rescue when ready-to-be-sexed Kagome and Sesshoumaru are interrupted by Mary Sue Whatthefuck.
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Hentai / Romance | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 04.07.2008 | Pages: 2 | Words: 2.2K | Visits: 512 | Status: Completed
Written as a snark!fic. 'M' Woman comes to the rescue when ready-to-be-sexed Kagome and Sesshoumaru are interrupted by Mary Sue Whatthefuck.
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Hentai / Romance | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 04.07.2008 | Pages: 2 | Words: 2.2K | Visits: 512 | Status: Completed
Please enjoy a slice of my snark. Served with a dab of sarcasm and a hefty dose of cynicism. Break out the Tums.
The Amazing ‘M’ Woman
“Sesshoumaru!” Kagome giggled as she swatted his hands away from going any further up her skirt. “We can’t do this here, you horny youkai! Anyone could walk in on us,” she pointed out while waving a hand to indicate the open space surrounding the small clearing they had wandered into.
He quirked a brow in response to the admonishment. “And your point being?” It was a lovely spring day. Rin was preoccupied chasing Jaken, Naraku was defeated, and his lands were in perfect running order. To make the day complete, it was time to claim some miko tail.
His fingers began to dance up the smooth skin once more. A shy blush followed his actions, but Kagome didn’t stop him this time. Blue eyes gleamed with awakened desire. The armor didn’t stand a chance, and soon, they were both panting.
“WAIT!!” a loud, grating voice interrupted the pair. “Stop!”
Growling, Sesshoumaru turned to regard the pigtailed female that bounded into the clearing, hands raised as if to forcibly draw them apart. Kagome squealed and scrambled back into her clothing.
A loud crack sounded from above, and Inuyasha tumbled from the tree he had been sitting in to land on the ground. The broken remains on the branch knocked him on the head.
“Inuyasha!” Kagome screamed. “What were you doing up there?”
Sesshoumaru smirked, knowing perfectly well what his hanyou half-brother had been up to. If the untied hakamas weren’t a perfectly good clue, the rapidly deflating bulge would have given it away. Who knew the whelp was into watching?
Taking in the half-feral gaze of his traveling companion, Inuyasha had a moment of painful clarity and foresaw a future of multiple fractures. Rather than answer, he decided to deflect the attack and turned on the interloper. “Hey, who the fuck are you?”
Blushing madly, giggling shrilly at being addressed by the oh-so-cute puppy-eared GOD standing before her, Mary Sue Whatthefuck introduced herself. When they looked confused at the introduction, her blush intensified into an inferno of burst capillaries. “I’m your BIGGEST fan! Like, totally!” she added with a wink and a wave to clarify things.
Non-plussed, Sesshoumaru narrowed his eyes on the annoying waste of time. Inuyasha slowly backed away from the almost rabid way in which the crazy wench kept eying him and his brother.
Kagome bit her lip in confusion. “What are you doing here?” she asked.
Practically gushing, Mary Sue Whatthefuck exclaimed, “Well, I HAD to stop you! You were going to ruin everything!”
Completely lost, Kagome scrunched her brows. Sesshoumaru cracked his knuckles.
Inuyasha snorted. “You’re the one who ruined it, bitch!” He had been about to explode when she came onto the scene, and now he was sporting a serious case of blue balls. Not to mention the serious beating he was going to take from Kagome for getting caught peeping! He shuddered at the thought.
Mary Sue Whatthefuck slyly retorted, “As if you didn’t know, you whore you.”
“Whore?” Anger quickly took hold, and Kagome stormed forward to deliver a resounding slap but was halted by Sesshoumaru. He leaned forward slightly, his golden eyes intense as they practically incinerated the audacious bitch on the spot.
“You would dare insult my mate?” he drawled in a deadly voice. Oh, this bitch was going down.
Completely oblivious to the danger, Mary Sue Whatthefuck blithely waved away the question. “Well, I certainly don’t go sleeping around! I’m still a virgin, in fact,” she commented proudly.
Inuyasha smirked. “I wonder why.”
Magnanimously waving that comment aside, as really, he was just a joker, Mary Sue Whatthefuck continued to explain, “I just love watching the romance between you two!” Big sparkles danced in her envy-green eyes. “You’re so KAWAII!!!! But, my little virgin eyes can’t take the sexy stuff.” She shuddered before whispering conspiratorially, “It’s scary! I mean, what if I’m overcome with the need to, like, do it! What would my mommy and daddy think!”
“How old are you again?” Kagome baldly asked, sizing up the girl. Garbed in a sailor fuku much like her own, the girl had tied her hair up in twin pigtails that trailed her figure like kite strings. This… this creature had been watching them?
Mary Sue Whatthefuck clapped her hands together. “I’ll be fifteen, just like you, in a year!” She held a finger up, as if the point needed emphasizing.
Kagome rolled her eyes. “I haven’t been fifteen in three years. I’m eighteen now, thank you very much.” How creepy.
Mary Sue Whatthefuck broke out a notebook from thin air and rifled through the pages with the air of a practiced scholar. “Nope,” she said, tapping the page with a chewed off fingernail, “it says here that you’re fifteen, silly. You can’t change your age just ‘cause you wanna do it.”
Seriously peeved now, Kagome stalked forward to grab the notebook. Mary Sue Whatthefuck snatched it to her chest before Kagome could get hold of it. “No! This is mine, you can’t have it!”
Inuyasha jumped into the fray and, holding the wailing girl back with one finger to her forehead, tossed the book to Kagome. She rifled through the pages, gaping. “You’ve got some nerve!” she lectured the hypocrite. Images of a naked Sesshoumaru doing Inuyasha, Inuyasha performing fellatio on Miroku, Sango licking… her??? Kagome paled. To each their own, but really… She didn’t want to read it! She dropped the book. Problem solved.
Mary Sue Whatthefuck regained her composure and pouted. “Pictures aren’t the same thing. I’m just looking, is all. That doesn’t mean I want to see you do it! I could be warped! My morals degraded and abandoned as a result of the deviant imagery! I want romance, not, you know!”
Inuyasha, still reeling at the discovery of the pictures, blue balls exaggerated by the picture of Miroku’s weeping phallus dancing about his mind (damn that monk was hung) his eyes rolled into the back of his head and he passed out.
Ready to find more welcome lands to conquer his mate’s luscious body, Sesshoumaru prepared to leave the scene with said mate under arm. Mary Sue Whathefuck sensed their imminent departure and whipped out her last weapon. “STOP!” Her censorship bazooka gleamed maliciously in the morning light.
Glaring, Sesshoumaru was about to give a proper set down when a gigantic, rubbery substance fell over his head. Blind and bound, he couldn’t see a damn thing. Kagome screeched and he heard the sounds of struggles going on, but then all was silent. Suddenly, hands were scrabbling at his clothing and he yelped as his cock was assaulted with cool metal and a sharp jolt was delivered to his system.
--------------Twenty minutes later----------------
“What the fuck!”
Inuyasha’s enraged shout cut through the fog that clouded Kagome’s mind. Groaning, she sat up. A clanging sound met her ears, and a distinctly uncomfortable sensation from her nether regions alerted her to the fact that something was VERY wrong.
Discretely lifting her skirt, she was shocked speechless. Marked with the label ‘Made in De Nile,’ a shiny, new chasity belt had taken the place of her easily-ripped-off-for-a-fucktastic-quickie panties! The damn thing was metal, completely impenetrable, and itched in a very sensitive place!
Startled, she looked over to see Sesshoumaru rising from where he had sprawled on the ground. A similar device, looking more like a cod piece from the middle ages, adorned his crotch. Inuyasha was in no better shape.
Looking immensely pleased with herself, Mary Sue Whatthefuck clapped her hands together delightedly. “Now I can watch without having to worry that you would do something nasty!”
Completely appalled, Kagome couldn’t help but to ask, “Why do you have to watch us if you just want to control us like this?” she gestured to the chastity belt that looked and felt more like an iron diaper. “We just want to live our lives the way we want! What gives you the right to tell us what to do?”
Her mate was a fine specimen, had buns you could bounce a nickel off of, the stamina of a, well, of a demon, a horse dick, and would lick it all day long. What kind of woman wouldn’t want to get pounded by that! And this, this brat wanted to keep her from a little harmless lovin’?
Who did Mary Sue Whatthefuck think she was? A Romance Nazi? “Why don’t you go watch someone else instead of bothering us?”
Rolling her eyes as if it was obvious, Mary Sue Whatthefuck sighed. “I just love you guys too much! I couldn’t possibly move on, I’m a totally loyal fan!”
Carefully standing, Sesshoumaru toppled forward when the weight of the iron codpiece unbalanced him. Kagome tried to get up to help him, but ended up falling back on her heavy ass. Inuyasha didn’t even bother to try to get up. He laid back in the grass and contemplated the many ways in which to dismember the annoying wench without getting brat blood all over his haori. It was so hard to get out of the fabric.
Pushed past all levels of tolerance, Kagome snarled, “You are such a idiot! Most girls get their cherry popped by the time their sixteen! I had to wait until I was eighteen, and now you want to consign me to a PG-rating love-life? There isn’t anything wrong with being a virgin, but don’t expect ME to live by YOUR rules!”
Mary Sue Whatthefuck shrugged unconcernedly. “Sorry, you don’t have a choice. If you want to be difficult, I’ll just call my daddy. He hasn’t got the time to keep me from the computer, so he’ll just sue you instead and then you’ll have to pay me lots and lots of money and then the judge will tell you that you can’t do it when I’m watching anyway. I’m young, not stupid. I know my rights.” She coyly played with the end of one of her pigtails. “Just think of it as me trying to protect you from getting in trouble.”
Unable to respond to that bit of twisted idiocy, the trio fell silent. Suddenly, a harpoon cut through Mary Sue Whatthefuck’s middle. Unsurprisingly, ink rather than blood spilled from the wound as she was unceremoniously dragged to the edge of the clearing.
Clothing disheveled and hair in wild disarray, a large-boned woman in a flaming, pink neon leotard with a huge ‘M’ emblazoned on her chest wrestled Mary Sue Whatthefuck to the ground. “No!” she screamed, “You can’t make me leave! I want to STAAAAA-”
Cutting off her wails, the woman slapped tape across her mouth. Next, she tied her up right and tight. She retrieved the key for the belt and codpieces from the bound girls pocket. “Sorry about that,” ‘M’ Woman apologized after throwing the key to Kagome. “I warned her that you guys were too old for her, but she didn’t listen. Can’t have her making trouble for you all, what kind of a disclaimer would I be?”
Sighing in relief as the chastity belt fell away, Kagome smiled at ‘M’ Woman. “Thanks! That thing really chafed!”
Inuyasha seconded, “You aren’t kidding!” He hitched his hakamas up and rubbed the sore balls. Images of Miroku’s phallus returned to him along with the blood flow, and he bounced away. He and the monk had some talking to do. Privately, of course.
Sesshoumaru picked Kagome up and flew off into the sunset, intent on making up where he had left off. He was a bit sore as well, and he had every intention of soothing his itch.
Humming lightly, ‘M’ Woman slung Mary Sue Whatthefuck over her shoulder and tossed her off the edge of the clearing. She watched in satisfaction as the screaming girl fell into the arms of ‘T’ Girl. “See if you can’t keep her there for another few years!” she yelled down to her contemporary. ‘T’ Girl shrugged after setting Mary Sue Whatthefuck free to frolic among the KAWAII daisies and FLUFFY clouds. Who did ‘M’ Woman think she was? Wonder woman?
The Amazing ‘M’ Woman
“Sesshoumaru!” Kagome giggled as she swatted his hands away from going any further up her skirt. “We can’t do this here, you horny youkai! Anyone could walk in on us,” she pointed out while waving a hand to indicate the open space surrounding the small clearing they had wandered into.
He quirked a brow in response to the admonishment. “And your point being?” It was a lovely spring day. Rin was preoccupied chasing Jaken, Naraku was defeated, and his lands were in perfect running order. To make the day complete, it was time to claim some miko tail.
His fingers began to dance up the smooth skin once more. A shy blush followed his actions, but Kagome didn’t stop him this time. Blue eyes gleamed with awakened desire. The armor didn’t stand a chance, and soon, they were both panting.
“WAIT!!” a loud, grating voice interrupted the pair. “Stop!”
Growling, Sesshoumaru turned to regard the pigtailed female that bounded into the clearing, hands raised as if to forcibly draw them apart. Kagome squealed and scrambled back into her clothing.
A loud crack sounded from above, and Inuyasha tumbled from the tree he had been sitting in to land on the ground. The broken remains on the branch knocked him on the head.
“Inuyasha!” Kagome screamed. “What were you doing up there?”
Sesshoumaru smirked, knowing perfectly well what his hanyou half-brother had been up to. If the untied hakamas weren’t a perfectly good clue, the rapidly deflating bulge would have given it away. Who knew the whelp was into watching?
Taking in the half-feral gaze of his traveling companion, Inuyasha had a moment of painful clarity and foresaw a future of multiple fractures. Rather than answer, he decided to deflect the attack and turned on the interloper. “Hey, who the fuck are you?”
Blushing madly, giggling shrilly at being addressed by the oh-so-cute puppy-eared GOD standing before her, Mary Sue Whatthefuck introduced herself. When they looked confused at the introduction, her blush intensified into an inferno of burst capillaries. “I’m your BIGGEST fan! Like, totally!” she added with a wink and a wave to clarify things.
Non-plussed, Sesshoumaru narrowed his eyes on the annoying waste of time. Inuyasha slowly backed away from the almost rabid way in which the crazy wench kept eying him and his brother.
Kagome bit her lip in confusion. “What are you doing here?” she asked.
Practically gushing, Mary Sue Whatthefuck exclaimed, “Well, I HAD to stop you! You were going to ruin everything!”
Completely lost, Kagome scrunched her brows. Sesshoumaru cracked his knuckles.
Inuyasha snorted. “You’re the one who ruined it, bitch!” He had been about to explode when she came onto the scene, and now he was sporting a serious case of blue balls. Not to mention the serious beating he was going to take from Kagome for getting caught peeping! He shuddered at the thought.
Mary Sue Whatthefuck slyly retorted, “As if you didn’t know, you whore you.”
“Whore?” Anger quickly took hold, and Kagome stormed forward to deliver a resounding slap but was halted by Sesshoumaru. He leaned forward slightly, his golden eyes intense as they practically incinerated the audacious bitch on the spot.
“You would dare insult my mate?” he drawled in a deadly voice. Oh, this bitch was going down.
Completely oblivious to the danger, Mary Sue Whatthefuck blithely waved away the question. “Well, I certainly don’t go sleeping around! I’m still a virgin, in fact,” she commented proudly.
Inuyasha smirked. “I wonder why.”
Magnanimously waving that comment aside, as really, he was just a joker, Mary Sue Whatthefuck continued to explain, “I just love watching the romance between you two!” Big sparkles danced in her envy-green eyes. “You’re so KAWAII!!!! But, my little virgin eyes can’t take the sexy stuff.” She shuddered before whispering conspiratorially, “It’s scary! I mean, what if I’m overcome with the need to, like, do it! What would my mommy and daddy think!”
“How old are you again?” Kagome baldly asked, sizing up the girl. Garbed in a sailor fuku much like her own, the girl had tied her hair up in twin pigtails that trailed her figure like kite strings. This… this creature had been watching them?
Mary Sue Whatthefuck clapped her hands together. “I’ll be fifteen, just like you, in a year!” She held a finger up, as if the point needed emphasizing.
Kagome rolled her eyes. “I haven’t been fifteen in three years. I’m eighteen now, thank you very much.” How creepy.
Mary Sue Whatthefuck broke out a notebook from thin air and rifled through the pages with the air of a practiced scholar. “Nope,” she said, tapping the page with a chewed off fingernail, “it says here that you’re fifteen, silly. You can’t change your age just ‘cause you wanna do it.”
Seriously peeved now, Kagome stalked forward to grab the notebook. Mary Sue Whatthefuck snatched it to her chest before Kagome could get hold of it. “No! This is mine, you can’t have it!”
Inuyasha jumped into the fray and, holding the wailing girl back with one finger to her forehead, tossed the book to Kagome. She rifled through the pages, gaping. “You’ve got some nerve!” she lectured the hypocrite. Images of a naked Sesshoumaru doing Inuyasha, Inuyasha performing fellatio on Miroku, Sango licking… her??? Kagome paled. To each their own, but really… She didn’t want to read it! She dropped the book. Problem solved.
Mary Sue Whatthefuck regained her composure and pouted. “Pictures aren’t the same thing. I’m just looking, is all. That doesn’t mean I want to see you do it! I could be warped! My morals degraded and abandoned as a result of the deviant imagery! I want romance, not, you know!”
Inuyasha, still reeling at the discovery of the pictures, blue balls exaggerated by the picture of Miroku’s weeping phallus dancing about his mind (damn that monk was hung) his eyes rolled into the back of his head and he passed out.
Ready to find more welcome lands to conquer his mate’s luscious body, Sesshoumaru prepared to leave the scene with said mate under arm. Mary Sue Whathefuck sensed their imminent departure and whipped out her last weapon. “STOP!” Her censorship bazooka gleamed maliciously in the morning light.
Glaring, Sesshoumaru was about to give a proper set down when a gigantic, rubbery substance fell over his head. Blind and bound, he couldn’t see a damn thing. Kagome screeched and he heard the sounds of struggles going on, but then all was silent. Suddenly, hands were scrabbling at his clothing and he yelped as his cock was assaulted with cool metal and a sharp jolt was delivered to his system.
--------------Twenty minutes later----------------
“What the fuck!”
Inuyasha’s enraged shout cut through the fog that clouded Kagome’s mind. Groaning, she sat up. A clanging sound met her ears, and a distinctly uncomfortable sensation from her nether regions alerted her to the fact that something was VERY wrong.
Discretely lifting her skirt, she was shocked speechless. Marked with the label ‘Made in De Nile,’ a shiny, new chasity belt had taken the place of her easily-ripped-off-for-a-fucktastic-quickie panties! The damn thing was metal, completely impenetrable, and itched in a very sensitive place!
Startled, she looked over to see Sesshoumaru rising from where he had sprawled on the ground. A similar device, looking more like a cod piece from the middle ages, adorned his crotch. Inuyasha was in no better shape.
Looking immensely pleased with herself, Mary Sue Whatthefuck clapped her hands together delightedly. “Now I can watch without having to worry that you would do something nasty!”
Completely appalled, Kagome couldn’t help but to ask, “Why do you have to watch us if you just want to control us like this?” she gestured to the chastity belt that looked and felt more like an iron diaper. “We just want to live our lives the way we want! What gives you the right to tell us what to do?”
Her mate was a fine specimen, had buns you could bounce a nickel off of, the stamina of a, well, of a demon, a horse dick, and would lick it all day long. What kind of woman wouldn’t want to get pounded by that! And this, this brat wanted to keep her from a little harmless lovin’?
Who did Mary Sue Whatthefuck think she was? A Romance Nazi? “Why don’t you go watch someone else instead of bothering us?”
Rolling her eyes as if it was obvious, Mary Sue Whatthefuck sighed. “I just love you guys too much! I couldn’t possibly move on, I’m a totally loyal fan!”
Carefully standing, Sesshoumaru toppled forward when the weight of the iron codpiece unbalanced him. Kagome tried to get up to help him, but ended up falling back on her heavy ass. Inuyasha didn’t even bother to try to get up. He laid back in the grass and contemplated the many ways in which to dismember the annoying wench without getting brat blood all over his haori. It was so hard to get out of the fabric.
Pushed past all levels of tolerance, Kagome snarled, “You are such a idiot! Most girls get their cherry popped by the time their sixteen! I had to wait until I was eighteen, and now you want to consign me to a PG-rating love-life? There isn’t anything wrong with being a virgin, but don’t expect ME to live by YOUR rules!”
Mary Sue Whatthefuck shrugged unconcernedly. “Sorry, you don’t have a choice. If you want to be difficult, I’ll just call my daddy. He hasn’t got the time to keep me from the computer, so he’ll just sue you instead and then you’ll have to pay me lots and lots of money and then the judge will tell you that you can’t do it when I’m watching anyway. I’m young, not stupid. I know my rights.” She coyly played with the end of one of her pigtails. “Just think of it as me trying to protect you from getting in trouble.”
Unable to respond to that bit of twisted idiocy, the trio fell silent. Suddenly, a harpoon cut through Mary Sue Whatthefuck’s middle. Unsurprisingly, ink rather than blood spilled from the wound as she was unceremoniously dragged to the edge of the clearing.
Clothing disheveled and hair in wild disarray, a large-boned woman in a flaming, pink neon leotard with a huge ‘M’ emblazoned on her chest wrestled Mary Sue Whatthefuck to the ground. “No!” she screamed, “You can’t make me leave! I want to STAAAAA-”
Cutting off her wails, the woman slapped tape across her mouth. Next, she tied her up right and tight. She retrieved the key for the belt and codpieces from the bound girls pocket. “Sorry about that,” ‘M’ Woman apologized after throwing the key to Kagome. “I warned her that you guys were too old for her, but she didn’t listen. Can’t have her making trouble for you all, what kind of a disclaimer would I be?”
Sighing in relief as the chastity belt fell away, Kagome smiled at ‘M’ Woman. “Thanks! That thing really chafed!”
Inuyasha seconded, “You aren’t kidding!” He hitched his hakamas up and rubbed the sore balls. Images of Miroku’s phallus returned to him along with the blood flow, and he bounced away. He and the monk had some talking to do. Privately, of course.
Sesshoumaru picked Kagome up and flew off into the sunset, intent on making up where he had left off. He was a bit sore as well, and he had every intention of soothing his itch.
Humming lightly, ‘M’ Woman slung Mary Sue Whatthefuck over her shoulder and tossed her off the edge of the clearing. She watched in satisfaction as the screaming girl fell into the arms of ‘T’ Girl. “See if you can’t keep her there for another few years!” she yelled down to her contemporary. ‘T’ Girl shrugged after setting Mary Sue Whatthefuck free to frolic among the KAWAII daisies and FLUFFY clouds. Who did ‘M’ Woman think she was? Wonder woman?