InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ The curse of the dragon ❯ Rooftop Expressions ( Chapter 55 )

~<>~ Curse of the Dragon ~<>~

 

 

~<>~ Chapter 55 ~<>~ rooftop expressions

 

 

 

Rin laid on Sesshoumaru's silk sheet covered bed, her head resting on her hands as she stared off into nothing in the direction of the wall. Sesshoumaru sat with his back to his mahogany desk, his hands clasp firmly together, imitating a steeple, with his fingers poised in front of his lips, seated in his swivel leather chair facing Rin. They hadn't said much of anything to each other since they had arrived home from Dr. Yamaoto's…and Sesshoumaru was throwing fuel on the fire with random under breath muttering accompanied by periodic growls. Rin blinked away her dreamless state and turned her gaze to her lover. He looked so pensive sitting there, staring into the nothingness with her. `She's wrong…Dr. Yamaoto thinks that he would hurt me…he wouldn't…couldn't.' She sat up slowly, stretching backwards with a defined arch to her back. She felt crammed into the small room…she felt stifled by the constricting walls and thick silence. Her bones ached and needed attention to help relieve the pressure that lay on her shoulders. But she wouldn't ask him for help…not after everything that had transpired thus far. She felt…distant…to him now. Though a few feet away, to Rin, Sesshoumaru could have been a thousand miles away. Whatever the doctor had said to him had put him into a foul mood…and that scared Rin. `She was going to ask him if we…if I'm blocking it out…if I forgot. What if he…what if she was right…what if he and me…? What if I forgot?' She chewed on her bottom lip as she placed her right hand to the small of her back and arched back, pushing her chest out in front of her as she attempted to crack her bones. `What if he didn't realize I forgot?' she blanched then shook her black hair over her shoulder, `no, that's ridiculous. We never had sex…I would remember that. I love him to much to forget that!' Rin heard a low whimper that broke the pregnant silence with blunt force…it filled the air with a sudden feeling of unquenched need…of lust and desire. Rin paused mid stretch, her tank top riding shortly over the flat of her stomach exposing the slight glint of flawless tanned skin. She peaked open one eye and shot a confused stare over to Sesshoumaru. The demon was bent over in his chair, his hands cradling his head by the corner of his eyes, propped up by his elbows on his knees. What struck Rin breathless was the molten amber gaze that stared out at her from under the depths of his silver bangs that cluttered his face. She found herself staring back; the same needs that circled in his eyes burned in hers, igniting that cold fire that loomed in her loins. She attempted to lick her lips, trying to replenish the lost moisture to her lips only to find her mouth was dry as well. Slowly, Rin brought the arm out from behind her back, where she had been supporting herself throughout her stretch and sat up to rest on her knees. She blinked once…twice…then slowly turned and swung her legs off the bed.

 

Sesshoumaru watched Rin get up from the bed slowly, her eyes mirroring what he felt inside of his heart…the emotional torrent that tore at him every time he looked at her. Gods he wanted her…he wanted her so bad. Never before had he ever felt such a burning need. It was a feeling that woke him during the darkest hours of night…a feeling that left him grasping into thin air, reaching for something…anything. It was what tore at his heart and ate him alive. He stood swiftly, dropping both of his hands to his side. Taking two steps, he was in front of her by time her feet hit the ground. Reaching down, he wrapped his arms around her shoulders and ducked his head down to firmly plant his lips against hers. He felt her jump slightly under the pressure and was tempted to back away and allow her to control the situation until two hands wrapped themselves around his broad back, digging her nails into his flesh. He groaned into her mouth and gently knocked her backwards with his knees, controlling her decent with one hand wrapped around her frail frame. He lowered her to the bed, never breaking their kiss. Placing one hand, palm down, onto the mattress, he rested his weight on it as he shifted them backwards onto the bed, lifting her feet from the ground. Letting his lips slide from hers, he eagerly attacked the side of her neck with soft butterfly kisses, trailing up and down her jugular with a feather soft touch. `Fuck what the doctor says. Rin…Rin is what matters and what she wants is my driving force.' He tilted her chin to the side with two fingers then let them slide down the front of her neck to rest on her shoulder. With painstaking ease, he slowly moved the straps of her tank top to the side, allowing his lips to trace the soft skin of her collarbone and shoulder. He breathed heavily into the crook of her neck, before licking one spot at the base of her neck and collarbone that he knew could ignite her fires on even the coldest of days. He felt her shiver underneath him and reveled in the knowledge that he could cause such a heat to swell inside of her…to burn her blood with need and desire. Sesshoumaru leaned forward and kissed her chin then her lips as his fingers wove their way into her hair, tracing his thumbs over her flushed cheeks. “I love you.”

 

Rin blinked slowly, seductively, before meeting his amber gaze with a smile that reached her eyes. She fought down the tears that welled in her eyes at his words…at his touch. The way he looked and moved about, the way he stared down at her and the way he smelled…all things Rin could only wish to remember for the rest of her life. She felt the smile slip from her face as she blinked away the giddy feelings that were overwhelming her. “I love you to Sesshoumaru, more then you know. And…I…” she swallowed hard and gave him a very small smile, “I'm sorry…I'm sorry that you have to put up with all of this…”

 

Sesshoumaru let go of her hair with his right hand and brought his fingers to her chin. Capturing the bone between his thumb and index finger, he held her head tight as he stared down into her eyes. Set determination rimmed the beautiful golden orbs. “Rin, I'm not one to repeat myself but I will for you. I want you to listen to me and understand one thing; I don't say things that I do not mean. Hence, when I say I love you, I mean it. You are not making me put up with anything…everything thing I do is because I choose to. I have chosen to protect you, I have chosen to stay by your side and I have chosen to be in love with you…”

 

Rin's face darkened as she pulled away from him, pressing her back further into the mattress. “Chosen? You make it seem like it's an obligation!”

 

Sesshoumaru blinked once then frowned, bringing his nose inches from hers. “Haven't we had this discussion before?”

 

Rin narrowed her eyes and shoved at his chest with both of her arms. This time he didn't budge. “Yeah, because you decided to say something just about as stupid as what you just said.”

 

Sesshoumaru cocked an eyebrow and slowly sat up, his eyes never leaving hers, “what did I say that was stupid? That I choose to love you?”

 

“No,” she said, backing herself up to the headboard, “that it's an obligation to love me.”

 

Sesshoumaru stared incredulously at the girl for a moment before responding in a very flat tone, “I never said…”

 

“You implied it!”

 

“I did no such thing!”

 

Rin rolled her eyes and crossed her arms, her face flushed and her body near shaking, “you really did. You chose to love me? What kind of statement is that Sesshoumaru? Something I'm supposed to be giddy over? Something I'm supposed to be fucking happy about? You shouldn't have to choose to do anything! It should come naturally…like it does for me. Loving you is an instinct for me…I don't choose to, I just do.”

 

Sesshoumaru stood from the bed and walked up to where she sat. Pinning her to bed with an arm on each side, he lowered his face to reach the front of hers. Commanding her attention with his golden gaze, he stated very slowly, “Loving you is all I live for, Rin. I wake up every morning with the intention to pull you tighter to my chest and thank the Kami's that you are there. You are what I think about before I go to sleep, always making sure that you are in my arms. I do not wish it to be any other way!”

 

Rin dropped her arms to her side, an undistinguishable look overtaking her face. She swallowed hard and looked to his lips, avoiding his eyes, “that's great that you want me to be here…but wanting me to be here is different then loving me.”

 

Sesshoumaru's eyes darkened…darker then she could remember in a stare that he directed at her. “Are you implying that I don't know what love is?”

 

`Am I? What am I saying? He is kissing me…he is in love with me and I'm questioning him! What is wrong with me?' she opened her mouth but it took a voice of its own, “do you?” Instantly she covered her mouth with her hands, her eyes wide. Vigorously she shook her head side to side, trying to indicate that she didn't mean that but she could see it in his eyes…she could see it written across his face…the gauntlet had been cast down.

 

Sesshoumaru felt like she had slapped him across the face. Turning his face with an invisible blow to glower out the window, he slowly stood up and turned his back to the girl. “I see.”

 

Rin's eyes filled with tears as she leapt up off the bed in a single bound and wrapped her arms around his waist. She only then dared to open her mouth, “I'm sorry…I don't know why I said that! God Sesshoumaru, I'm sorry! I didn't mean that…I know you love me…just like I do you. I don't know what's wrong…please…” tears flowed freely down her face, soaking into the thin cotton of his black shirt, “please believe me…”

 

Sesshoumaru turned around and sighed lightly, pulling her head into his chest; he encased her in his arms. He relished the moment before placing his cheek against the top of her head. “Rin…”

 

Rin sniffled then laughed callously, “me and my baka mouth…”

 

“Rin…”

 

Rin hiccupped and sniffed up the tears before clearing her throat and closing her eyes, “I really don't know…”

 

“Rin!”

 

Rin paused and looked up to stare at her savior. He was smiling…smiling? `This can't be good…' she felt her eyebrows crease as she withdrew her arms. “Sesshoumaru?”

 

He leaned down and kissed the top of her forehead before turning his back to her. “Follow me.”

 

Rin gaze held unanswered questions that she pushed to the side then followed behind her lord wordlessly. She had questions…many of them…but decided it best to keep them to herself for the time being. She followed Sesshoumaru up the stairs to the third story then through an empty bedroom that had once been his mother's to the balcony. She gasped when he suddenly swept her off her feet and leapt to the roof. It was near dusk and the sun was setting to the west. She smiled into his chest as he deposited her next to him on a flat portion of the back of the roof and draped an arm around her shoulders. The view of the sunset was amazing, as was the scenery. Lush hills rolled in all directions from the mansion and were lined with tall trees, leaving only a straight path towards the distant horizon visible. The sun was a beautiful ball of burning crimson, setting in the oceanic blue sky. Rivets of pinks and pale purples danced along the horizon, captivating anyone who would dare turn face to the sunset.

 

Sesshoumaru reached around Rin and pulled her against him, letting her settle between his legs, her back to his chest. Wrapping his arms around her protectively, he rested his chin on her shoulder and indulged in the beauty of the nights approach. Rin pressed her cheek against his as wind whipped about the two, sending a spiral of black and white hair flinging about together madly in the dusk sky. A wavering passion blanketed the two…a passion that needed not the physical side of a relationship to prove one's devotion. The mental bond that had been forged between the Youkai and the human was strong enough…it was strong enough to support even the hardest of times and weather the hardest of decisions. Rin smiled softly, and closed her eyes as one clawed finger traced her cheek. “How do you ignite these feeling in me Rin?”

 

Rin leaned towards his touch, resting her hand on his hand and rubbed her cheek into the warmth of his hand, “how do you put up with me?”

 

Sesshoumaru smiled and sat back, letting his hand support Rin's head as they watched the sun set into the west as the crimson bled out of the sun and stained the sky. Soon an inky black began to immerge from the clouds…beginning the process of blotching out the pinks and reds…of dulling the luminous colors. He blinked once, feeling Rin shiver against him, and reached into his pocket. Fidgeting for a moment, he pulled his hand from his jeans and kissed the top of Rin's head. “Sit up.”

 

Rin nearly jumped at his sudden command; she didn't turn around as her instincts told her to, she simply complied. So much had gone through her mind as she sat with her lover watching the beauty of nature…so much that she hadn't thought of in years. Her mind traveled to the thoughts of the future…a future she wasn't sure a month ago that she would ever see. She thought of how it felt to be in Sesshoumaru's arms…and how it would feel to wake up in his embrace tomorrow…and the day after that…and a year from then… even a decade from then. She thought of what it would be like to finally go the last mile with Sesshoumaru…to know what it felt like to have him inside of her…to have him make her his mate. Then she had though of what it would be like for him to make her his bride…and how big their wedding could be or how small is would be. She thought of things that a normal teenager in love would think of. She thought of what their children would look like…and how he would hold her when they had their first-born…and then their second. What he gave her in those moments of silence was more then anything anyone ever had. He gave her hope…he gave her comfort…he gave her unconditional love, and that was something she had never known. It was a feeling that ripped all of the horrors she had seen and experienced out of her mind and cast them into the darkness of night. He rejuvenated her soul; pulling her out of the darkest pit of hell she had exiled herself to. He saved her. At that moment, he could have asked her to scale a mountain for him and she would have in a second.

 

Her deep thought was interrupted when something cold touched her neck. It was a foreign feeling…something that was heavy and yet not, cool but warm. She felt it lay loosely around the base of her neck and slip down towards her breasts, stopping halfway down. She looked over her shoulder once at Sesshoumaru and paused, her breath leaving her body in a rasp gasp. His magnificent amber eyes were sparkling. An absolute feeling of love tore into her heart and flowed through her veins. It was as if the sun had set in the sky and risen in his eyes. Though his lips were still formed in their stoic line, his eyes told of another story; a story of love that ran so deep, no one could dare to fathom it…of feelings that could not be put into spoken words. A downpour of emotions flickered through Rin's eyes before she carefully brought one hand to her neck. Her hand fell on what felt like a stone and her eyes widened. She forced herself to break her mesmerized gaze that connected with him to glance down at her bare neck. Her mouth hung open when her eyes fell onto the piece of jewelry that clung to her skin. On a thin golden chain that reached about thee inches below her neck, laid three beautiful teardrop shaped diamonds in a vertical row. The top diamond was nearly a forth of a carrot in size, followed by the second that was nearly a third of a carrot and the last, that sparkled with even the dimmest of light glittering off of it, was nearly two thirds of a carrot in size. Her eyes widened to extreme widths as she fingered the jewels. She jerked her head up to glare at Sesshoumaru, inaudibly asking if her was serious, before returning her attention to the one and a half carrot piece that clung to her neck.

 

A hand reached up and encased hers, gently capturing one finger with his with an almost magnetic force. He touched the top jewel with her and whispered in a raw hushed sexy voice that made her toes curl, “for the past month that I have known you…and for the feelings that you have awoken in me that I didn't know I could still feel.” As she opened her mouth to retort, he clicked his tongue and hushed her gently. He traced his finger down her bare flesh to the next stone, that he touched with her finger against his, “for today…for the present…for what I feel for you; it is for the words that I can't form…that I don't know how to say.” his eyes connected with hers as he moved his hand to the last of the three stones automatically, letting her trace the stone on her own. Her eyes didn't leave his as he captured her lips in a chaste kiss. Whispering against the satin soft appendages, “and for where the road will lead us in the future…together.” He pressed his lips harder against hers, letting his tongue flicker over the inside of her lips, begging for access to her mouth. She eagerly granted him such and closed her eyes, letting her hand drop from the necklace to lace around his neck. She pulled herself around, twisting at her hips to kneel before him, her lips captured against his. She didn't bother to wipe away the tears that flowed from her eyes. They were the first tears of absolute joy she had ever cried…and something inside of her gut told her that they would not be her last.

 

How long they sat on the roof, they were not sure. Two bodies pressed to the other, indulging in the taste of each other yet not crossing any depicted boarders. When their lips were bruised and their hair tussled from the wind…when their lungs were void of air and burning with the need for oxygen they broke apart, her head against his chest and her legs around his waist. He cradled her against him, letting his hands rest on her back as he let his head roll back and inhaled deeply. The night air was crisp and sent electric jolts of longevity through veins. He had never felt this alive in all of his life. After another deep breath, he lifted his head to stare down at Rin whose cheek was pressed firmly against his heart. “Rin…”

 

“Shush…” her finger worked its way to seal his lips as a smile graced her lips, “I can hear your heart beating.” She closed her eyes, memorizing its pattern…memorizing just another part of him.

 

Sesshoumaru smiled and let his tongue dart out of his mouth to trace over the taunt skin of her finger, teasing her with a glimmer of a smirk on his lips. Hearing her gasp then giggle, he lifted his head an inch to let his tongue guide her finger into his mouth. He captured it softly between his front teeth then traced the tip of her finger with his tongue, his eyes boring holes into the top of her head. He felt her entire body tense against him then shiver as he flicked the digit's pad. A very soft moaned version of his name slipped from her lips and he hardened on the spot. He licked the top of her finger again before releasing it from his hold. His hand came to rest on cheek and guided her head up to look at him. Rin's eyes were wide and filled with a sudden pang of desire. Sesshoumaru dropped his lips to hers and pulled her fully against him, letting her feel his need pressing against her core from under the safe yet taunt confines of his denim jeans. She gasped and he pushed his tongue into her mouth, letting his hands rest on her hips. She welcomed him most graciously, sucking on the appendage that was shoved into her mouth greedily, while one hand worked at the bottom of his shirt.

 

Sesshoumaru closed his eyes as her hand brushed against his rock solid abs on her quest of riding him of his shirt. The way her soft skin felt as it grazed his was enough to bring him dangerously close enough to blow his load right in his jeans, like a worthless whelp. “…Rin…” her name slid from his lips in a groan as she abandoned her goal of taking off his shirt and was resting to close to his throbbing member. He smelt him before the voice could reach the two and dropped one hand to cover Rin's, breaking the kiss with a deep scowl. Closing his eyes, he barked out roughly, “what the hell do you want?”

 

Rin jumped in shock and was about to ask him who he was talking to when a rather teasingly aired tone reached them, “you know…you really shouldn't be doing <I>that </I>on a roof, Sesshoumaru.” Rin's face fell as she buried her face in her lovers chest, “Why…damnit why!” her eyes lifted to meet an equally frusta rated gaze and her heart lightened. `At least I'm not the only one in this boat.' She noted with a grin that Sesshoumaru was reluctant to get up to greet his uncle.

 

The humor was gone from the tone and was replaced by something that was near…lecturing. “Sesshoumaru, can you come here for a moment?”

 

Sesshoumaru quickly snapped back, his eyes darkening, “if you cannot see, Ryen, I am slightly preoccupied…”

 

The voice replied, “Yeah, that's the problem. Come `ere…”

 

Sesshoumaru took a deep breath, a breath that was silently begging the gods for patience. “I think I shall reframe. Now be on your way…”

 

A loud thump was heard followed by footsteps. The voice was a lot closer now, just over the opposing peak of the houses' roof, “I really don't want to come over this peak to see something I don't need to see. So get decent and get your ass over here. I'm tired of being patient with this, Sesshoumaru. Get your ass over here…now.”

 

Sesshoumaru's nostrils flared as he gently lifted Rin from his lap and sat her on the roof. “Stay here…I'll be but a moment. Pick a nice place in the field from here to let us burry my uncle at…” he stood, all traces of his arousal gone with the harsh demands of the intruder, and he lumbered over the roof. He wasn't ready for the hand that latched around the back of his neck and growled ferociously at the source. `This whelp is trying to scruff me! Me…a full blooded Youkai!' he lashed back with one arm only to have it pinned rather painfully to his back. Before he knew it, he was on the balcony outside of his mother's bedroom. Only then did Ryen release him and Sesshoumaru turned swinging. Ryen must have calculated for the blow because he easily ducked under it then shoved Sesshoumaru back into the wall. “Take it easy, pup.”

 

An incredulous look passed over Sesshoumaru's features, “Oi! <I>Pup?</I> I should…”

 

“…Keep it in your pants, at least until Rin is `better'.” The way that better rolled off Ryen's tongue left distaste in both Youkai's mouths. The two amber gazes met and exploded in vibrant unaired swears of anger and frustration; one of Sesshoumaru for the unwelcome interruption and yet his sudden lack of control and the other Ryen for having to remind the boy of the dire situation.

 

Sesshoumaru blinked once then snarled, “I will do as I please, Ryen, and not you nor the God's themselves can keep me from Rin!”

 

Ryen closed his eyes and sighed, “Sesshoumaru, I know you're a walking ball of flaming hormones right now but try to use that overachieved brain I know you have. Rin is really in a nasty predicament right now and you yourself told me that the psych doesn't think Rin would do well to be in an intimate relationship at the current time.”

 

“It doesn't matter what the doctor thinks; I will do what Rin wishes…and only what Rin wishes.”

 

Ryen laughed half-heartedly and rolled his eyes, “pussy whipped a little bit, are we? And without the…”

 

“Oi!”

 

Ryen held up two hands apologetically, all signs of joking gone from his face, “look, Sesshoumaru…it is not a good idea for you two to be partaking in these…activities…without chancing a change to Rin's personal mental health. But do as you will…just preferably not out in the open air…where others can see you…”

 

Sesshoumaru growled and narrowed his eyes, holding one hand out towards the forest on the other side of the house, “prey tell, Ryen, exactly who is watching…besides for you.”

 

Ryen blinked once and pointed at the highway, “anyone passing by? Kind of hard to miss two figures going at it on a roof…”

 

“In the dark?”

 

Two tuffs of white hair glanced up to see Rin lingering on the roof right above them, her legs hanging off the edge. Ryen sighed and reached up to help Rin down. Sesshoumaru slapped away his hands with a menacing and territorial growl as he slipped his hands around Rin's knees and lifted her down carefully, sliding his hands to her hips as he lowered her to the floor. Ryen nodded once, curtly, to Rin before meeting his nephew's heated gaze. “Look, I was in the house…”

 

Rin rolled her eyes and crossed her arms, “…spying?”

 

Ryen blinked once and looked to Rin with a frown, “you two are hardly on my spying list…I have many other important things to see too…”

 

Rin sparred back, “like what?”

 

Ryen blinked at the girl then sighed and met Sesshoumaru's eyes once more. “Look, don't fuck up, all I'm saying. And not on the roof…be a little more classy then that if your gonna'…” he blinked once and waved a hand at the two, “…do that…”

 

Rin glanced up at Sesshoumaru, who was more perturbed then she was and sighed heavily, “well…now that he killed that mood…I'm going to go start diner.” She turned and pressed a light kiss to the younger Youkai's neck. “Come down when you two are done.” She knew that Ryen wished to speak with Sesshoumaru alone and had enough trust in him to know that he would tell her later what he said. She quickly stepped out of the room.

 

Sesshoumaru waited for the door to close before sighing heavily, dragging a weary gaze to Ryen, “I don't have the strength to put you into your place right now, but be assured that when this is said and done, I'm going to physically hurt you…”

 

Ryen chuckled and slapped the boy on the back, “nothing like a future promise of pain!” his face sobered immediately and he took a deep breath, “I know I have said to be careful with her, Sesshoumaru, but somehow I do not think you understand.”

 

“I understand just fine.”

 

Ryen shook his head no. “you don't. Sesshoumaru, you have done wise to keep yourself passive with her in any sexual advances but you can't give in now. Look…I have been talking with one of my friends from Kyoto…a very distinguished Psychologist…who is willing to allow Rin to go out for a long weekend to a spa that he runs in the hills outside of Kyoto for a group meeting with other girl's her age who have been raped. It's a retreat…basically for the girl's to speak of their experiences and ways to help cope with the problems. He is also willing to sit with Rin and talk with her…maybe he could be able to help her. I trust this man with my life and can guarantee that she would be safe…”

 

Sesshoumaru growled, “Not on a cold day in hell. I told you that I have her talking with a psychiatrist who comes highly recommended.”

 

Ryen's eyes darkened as he leaned back, “Psychiatrist? You never mentioned that part. Why a psychiatrist and not a psychologist?”

 

Sesshoumaru blinked then sighed deeply, “You are the one who left me the numbers.”

 

Ryen frowned and straightened his back, “did they put her on medication; anti-depressants or sedatives?”

 

Sesshoumaru sat back onto the bed that his mother would never use again and put his hands to his face. Calling out from under his hands, he pulled at his stress-worn eyes, “she is taking two tranquilizers.”

 

Ryen's eyes widened in shock, “what? You're kidding me!”

 

Sesshoumaru shook his head then lifted his head to meet Ryen's glare, “the doctor thought it best after seeing Rin's panic attack in the waiting room.”

 

Ryen glowered at the boy then began to pace, “you do not put a child on tranqs for a panic attack. It's not done…maybe a temporary sedative but nothing so harsh as a tranq. Who is this doctor?”

 

Sesshoumaru narrowed his eyes and spat out, “Dr. Yamaoto…”

 

“Yamaoto what?”

 

Sesshoumaru paused, his mind fishing for that missing information. “I'm…not sure…”

 

Ryen nearly slapped his head. Reserving the need to lash out and verbally bash his nephew, he took a deep breath, “who recommended her?”

 

Sesshoumaru lifted his eyes to meet his uncle, he frowned “a couple other psychologists' I talked to about Rin and a guidance counselor at the school.”

 

Ryen shook his head very slowly, letting out a deep breath, “Sesshoumaru…did I not warn you that the mind is something not to be fucked with? What if this doctor isn't reputable?”

 

Sesshoumaru blinked once and sighed, “No, she is…acceptable. I do not like her attitude towards me but she is genuine in her feelings of protecting Rin.”

 

Ryen looked like he had his doubts. “She put Rin on tranqs…something is not right there. Tell me, what drugs is she on?”

 

“Paxil and Xanax…along with some random Advil for when she gets a headache.” Sesshoumaru watched the color drain from his uncle's face and he quickly stood, “what is it?”

 

Ryen swallowed once and let his lips form a very thin line. “Those two drugs, Sesshoumaru, are very dangerous on their own. Combined they could render Rin a doormat for suggestion and even worse, manipulation.”

 

Sesshoumaru growled, “but will it help her?”

 

Ryen shrugged and huffed, “help her how? It won't cure her. She doesn't have an infection…she is sick, yes, but it is a mental disease. Those drugs will only put her into more of a happier mood about it. For her to get better, she needs to do it herself. No drugs will help her in that path of recovery.”

 

Sesshoumaru frowned, “so what your saying is that it is pointless for her to take the medication?”

 

Ryen shook his head, “I'm not saying anything right now, Sesshoumaru. What I will say is this; I'm going to investigate this Yamaoto person. I'll find out if she's legit. Until then, I would suggest you keep yourself with Rin at all points, especially when she is under the influence of the medication. With those two combined…I'm not sure what it will do to her but you need to stay with her. If you see anything abnormal, call me immediately.” Ryen turned and began to walk from the room.

 

“Why do you care so much?”

 

Ryen paused, his eyes glazing over to a near pained look as he turned to look at Sesshoumaru. He recognized the look in the younger boy's eyes and offered him a supportive smile, “you are my nephew, Sesshoumaru…and whether or not you believe me, I do care about what happens to you and what goes through that brain of yours. You were without your dad for so long…and I feel partly responsible for that.”

 

“You're under no obligation to make up for his mistakes. Know that now, Ryen.”

 

Ryen gauged the amount of pain he saw swirling in his nephew's eyes and frowned, “I know that. I merely am taking care of my own. You and your brother, Sesshoumaru, are like sons to me…and I love you as such.” He turned and walked from the room, leaving a befuddled and shocked Youkai in his wake.

 

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-okay, a small blip of a chapter that I thought I would throw in for fluff value. Everyone say AWWW!! Hehe. Sorry for the lack of updating…the previous week has been taxing on the mind and to sum it up my grandfather passed over the weekend so I'm not sure when I'll get a healthy chapter out but this is what I offer. still accepting bids for who you think the doc is…virtual pocky for the winner!!!!

 

Q/A

Tarzan from fanfiction. net- Rin getting help….yyyeess….i guess you could say that…but then again, maybe not. Muhhahah…yeah, I know, evil author, leave poor Rin alone! ::ducks under tomato:: I'm sorry!! Everything has a point though, all I can say!! Yes, Bankotsu and Hiten are drama queens into the story but their part was numbed when people told me that Yash was to `far gone' so I back off of that evil plot bunny. (Hmm…::points finger at rabbit:: I shall get one you one day…… )hehe. As for the doctor being evil? HMM…. maybe…. I'll leave that for you to decide! Thanks for the review!!

 

ayngel_babie- thanks for the reviews and the praise, I'm glad that you like the story! yeah, it's hitting Rin hard and Sessh just as bad, because he can't be the one to heal her. I think that is his biggest weak point.  

 

Crazed assassin- Though the Kazzana would play a great catch deal in the story, it would be to length to describe how he has it…and why. I mean, Diegosan or someone in his family could have possibly put the curse on the family but then there would have been way to much vindictive nature to open with between the two. So no, in this one he will not. It was a good thought though and I appreciate it! Thanks!!

 

Foxfire730- yeah, I really wanted to indulge on the scene of Kag's mom realizing just WHAT Yash was doing to her daughter on the couch…in front of her nose…was something worth dabbling with but once again, the evil plot bunnies have had their way with the story!!! AGH!!

As for yash and the flashbacks, yeah, it is meaningful and can hopefully show a more retrospective side as to why he is the way he is, `ya know? Yeah, what Sesshoumaru said to him on the roof, about fixing things and making it right, lead to him leaving. He wants to start at square one, which was life with his mother when things started to go bad, and fix it from there. Not that he can change the past but maybe set things right then and learn how to do that correctly with Kagome.

Yes, Jak is a definite weirdo!! I'm glad that your up on how they met, it got a little fuzzy but I think that's explained pretty clear now. don't worry, how they got so bad will also be explained. Oh the joy of flashbacks. Now just for the time to write them….GRR.

 

Trinity757575- AWW. Don't do that now! LOL. As much as that review made my day…don't. lol. Thank you sooo much for your praise, you have no idea how much that helps fuel my want to throw out more chapters for you guys! Don't you love that expression, “beat like a red headed step child.” I was in a toss up whether or not to include it but I couldn't resist the temptation. It was just to…perfect. I love Ryen's character; he is just a full mix of Inu and sessh. Yeah, the part with her mom in the room was definitely something I loved throwing in. as I said above, I wanted to run with it but…well…it got side tracked to the more important things. Oh well…Yash is Yash and therefore he shan't change much…I'm sure we'll have more times to repeat that mistake. :-X but again, thank you sooo much for your praise, it made my day!!!

 

Jade_pendant- yeah, college sucks. LOL. I've realized that I haven't read ANY of the stories for my British literature class in like a month…cause fan fiction has consumed my life. grr….bad addictive stuff. As for Jakotsu…yes VERY scary individual. I was very tempted to use him in a Psychology project I have to do on sadism (you should see half the things he says to inu) but I figured it would be to long to try to explain the story…not to mention make a bunch of college brats listen to Japanese. Grr.

 

Lady_insomniac_- thanks for the compliment about the medical looking stuff. LOL. I try. Hehe. I appreciate your offer to help me out and trust me, I shall be in touch to get some pointers from ya. Also, I want to thank you for sharing anything you can, I know it can be hard. Thank you sooo much.

 

Celestial fox- chapters really vary in length depending as to where I am when I write. The first chapters, up until like chapter 35 I was able to bang out quickly because I had hours at a time to write while on a bus. Now that I'm working full time, in college full time and sleeping the rest (cause I'm a lazy bum) it gets harder. I can bang out 30 pages in about four hours though. But thank you sooo much for the compliment. That really means a lot to me!!! am I done with this one? Not by a long shot. I still figure another 30 chapters will be about enough to sum it up. got a lot still to do. trips to take…asses to kick and plans for the future to mend…. As for new fics, I actually have an idea I'm going to pass through circulaton soon…I just need to think it more out. Another AU it will be, as well as a Kag/Inu but also with underlying tones of Sessh/Kag (more of a friendship that pushes boarders then anything more).

 

Krzy_Grl- hope your happy with this recent update and I promise I will update more as I can! Thanks for the review!!!

 

rhiara_123@hotmail.com - WOW. This is a freakin huge review. okay…let's get ready to …answer? Hehe. Yeah, school getting in the way of reading can be very annoying. I nearly miss class all the time when I get involved in a fic…or I stay up until 5am with it. neither one has good outcomes. Thank you so much for the compliments, a good hard contextual look to the text of what I have written is really a great thing for me. I love constructive criticism (key word constructive, you know? LOL) and am always willing to learn from my mistakes. Yeah, spelling is a sticky situation for me and the constant misspelling of words isn't easy either. The sucky part is that in Word, if you have a right word, it won't tell you it's in the wrong context or wrong spelling and then…well…this happens. LOL. I have two beta's going back over my chapters which is wonderful but I am always looking for more (::hint hint:: hehe) as for the good doctor…a money grabber? Hmm…no, not money she's after…. Hehe.

As for going to school in Japan, that is freakin awesome! I want to go to Japan so bad. I have an entire adjenda planned out…I just need the time, freedom and well…everything else to go. LOL. Oh, and to also know the language. I'm pretty fluent in French so I figure I shall start there, and work my way across, ne? LOL. It could work. But all of your information is really helpful for future fics I will write. I feel that now I am to far into the fic to go back and change it so I'm leaving it as it is for now…maybe later when I'm done with other projects I shall attempt to do so. But seriously, thank you so much, that really helps me out!!

 

AnimeishDwarf - yeah, I tend to see things like a movie before writing, which can make it easier and more difficult in the same breath. So many great ideas I have I can't express and therefore have to pass them up. guess eventually I'll just have to buy the writes, hire an animation studio, hire a voice cast and then produce my own rendition. LOL. How great would that be? hehe. But who was on the phone? I think I stated it, didn't I? that Sesshoumaru dialed Ryen's number? If not…then he called Ryen. LOL.

 

Kirie- yeah, I know, and I apologize. I know what it's like to read something for so damn long then see it's not done after so many hours. I've done that so many times and get so angry. So I apologize! Lol. I'm glad that you like the story though so yeah, get some sleep and smile!!

 

Dragonman- yes, no good doctor goes unpunished…wait, that's not how it goes. LOL. glad that you like the fic and I'm always happy to say hello to new reviewers! Thanks!!! As for the main characters from the anime, I wouldn't call them dependable. Cause I mean, we have Naraku…and I'm telling you, the doctor is a main character from the series (well, okay, not main but was in a number of episodes {like 6, including flashbacks}) But yesss…you have picked up on my plan very well. but there to be more devious actions then just making her `think'. Oh, how doormats can be walked on…and how sad it is when manipulated. Is what Rin taking drugs? No…they are real prescription drugs…just …uhh…heavy ones. But let's not forget about those Advil…HMMM. Maybe I shall look into Kag calling Jak to piss him off. that could be fun!!

 

Sadsoul- I do feel like a sadist at points, from making these poor guys suffer so much. But to be honest, I'll tell you why I constructed this part of the story. I have read SOO many fics where a girl (kagome or sango or rin, ect…) is raped and in the next five chapters is up and sleeping with lovers to make everything fine and nearly forgets what happened. There are few fictions that portray rape as the heinous crime that it is. I wanted to take a journey to the darker side to show people what can happen (while of course making it twice as hard with evil doctors). Yeah, they have only been together for a month, right…but hey, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right? :-/

 

FF.net

 

Animeish dwarf- yeah, Hiten and Bankotsu are really manipulative…and will only become more so in time, when they realize they aren't getting what they want. I think we should burn them…all in favor? To be honest, I came across the Maserarti by accident and have been drooling over it since. God it's a beauty!! I'm hoping to get a website up on angel fire to devote towards this story just so I can post pictures of the cars and character sketches I have being done and such. But yes, all of those cars are lovely. I looked each one up that you recommended as well. wow…I want!!! As for your guess to who the shrink is…that was a little…unexpected. No, Ryen is NOT the shrink, trust me when I say that the shrink is a girl and Ryen isn't. LOL. I loved it though, I laughed. But your on the right track when you say someone `associated' with Naraku (think cannon characters).

 

Toya's Gurl- thanks for the compliments. Aww!! Makes me smile!!! I'm not sure how many chapters it's going to be…I like to think another 30 to wrap up everything. Very, very long. But I have a lot to cover!! Hehe. Thank you so much for the praise, as always!!!

 

Shadowww15- thanks you for the praise. I'm sorry that may 24th is your birthday…and to be completely honest, I spent a number of days trying to remember just why I used this day but I keep drawing blanks. I think cause it's close to the normal close of school years. Don't worry, I'm not hiding anything nor keep secrets. As for the Hojo personality, yeah, a little creepy and yes, your right, definite stalker.

 

Unseen Jade eyed wolf- Yeah, I really would love a guy like Fluffy….really wish but that ain't gonna happen, I'm out of that fantasy world. I'm just waiting now to meet someone right instead of all the wrong ones.

 

Dog Demon Emiko- yeah, fields of innocence played a very big role in the foundations of the fiction. I fell in love with the song (obviously by its insertion in one of those chapters). Very emotional though. That makes me smile that you laughed after the chapters. That's a great thing!!! Yeah, Sesshoumaru has to take a stand from his brother's wench. LOL. thanks for the review!!!

 

Sunshine22- thanks for the compliment. As to why are Rin and Sango so nosey? Well…mind you that Sango is Kagome's best from of like 10 years. I know that gives her no right to invade Kagome's personal space but she wants to make sure Kagome is okay. As for Kagome's internalization of the problems of her and Yash…with him missing in her eyes, she's going to do some serious self-reflection and rationalization. LOL. Yeah, he has a lot of people on his back mostly because all he does is shake them off. He's basically gone on a spiritual trip that is really going to help him out mentally as well as emotionally.

 

Kitt- Thank you so much for the praise. That makes me smile.

 

Blood-tainted soul- I have to say you had me laughing hysterically at some of the randomness of your comments. LOL. I'm glad that you got your toe to stop bleeding, that could have been bad. As for is the doc going to milk Rin for money…no, she is much darker then that. As stated, virtual pocky for those die hard fans who realize the freakin clue I dropped in everyone's lap. As for Yash, yeah, I wish there were guys like that out there but I have yet to find one and deal with about 1.5 million people a summer so…we'll see.

 

Maboroshi Kaji1- LMAO. Let me tell you something, I got my ass handed to me for inu being to much of a pervert and ass on the aff.net so I decided to write an entire chapter trying to make his side of the case as to why he is how he is and I'm still getting the third degree. LOL. I try…all I can say…to portray his character within limits to his personality from the show, his thick headedness and then on top of that, his modern day persona. But you got it right…he has given up a lot and no one seems to realize that. granted, what he gave up were things he was better without (drugs, booze, random sex, ect…) but Sesshoumaru is going to get a cold dose of reality when he realizes that.

 

LukeSheahl- story is going places…just not to fast. Promise it has direction!! as for the more boring parts, it all has relevance, just give it time! ;-)

 

Tuffyluffy- LOL. I'm glad that you feel I should have more reviews, that makes me smile. But I take what I can get. I have my loyal readers, which is really what matters, ne? but thank you so much for the compliments and I'm glad you like the drama (more where that came from!!!)

 

Hello- not to sure how many more chapters we have but it's going to be near 80 I think…I still have a lot to cover plus an epilogue I already have strung together tentatively.

 

1234567- uhh…9 days until what? The world ends? Damn, and I can't find my toothbrush…. ;-)

 

Anime-freak 89- though I was tempted to have him do so, that would only be completely disrespectful and he would get a mouthful from two very angry women (and one Kagome pissed is bad enough!!!)