InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ The curse of the dragon ❯ The man who loves you ( Chapter 60 )

~<>~ Curse of the Dragon ~<>~

 

 

~<>~ Chapter 60 ~<>~ the man who loves you

 

 

I want to drop a big thank you to those who nominated me for the 2005 first quarter InuYasha fan fiction guild for best drama. Thank you so much, that really means a lot to me!!!!! there are a lot of great fictions up for awards this year, so anyone who is a member, please remember to vote!!!!

 

 

 

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Kagome blinked herself awake slowly; her body tingling with the feeling of a thousand pin pricks all over. She felt like she was standing in the deepest ring of hell encased in ice. She tried to wrap her arms around her body only to find other arms enveloping her. She blinked again languidly then lifted her head. `What the hell…when did I…how…?' She had a pounding headache but was pretty sure that she felt better then she had all day. Glancing to her left, her eyes locked onto the small digital clock by her bed. 3:50 pm. `I slept the entire day away?' she tried to sit up only to find those same arms were locked tightly in place. Her eyes widened in recognition as pieces of the day fell into place; she had woken up much like this before…to him holding her. `InuYasha.' A wave of relief broke upon her tattered soul, providing her the relief she felt like she had been denied since he had gone missing. She swallowed hard, fighting a losing battle with the tears that dared to rise when reminiscing over the weekend. She had been so worried, so very worried…and now he was just here. A part of her felt as if he had never left…she felt so at peace in his arms that she nearly forgave him for his disappearance just to appease the feeling of tranquility he had granted her. `Just like that a part of me wants to let him walk. Just let him off the hook for…' she closed her eyes and stifled a groan, `why does he always put me at odds with myself?' she sighed and tugged at his arms again that were wrapped around the small of her back, holding her to his chest. She was lying on her side and to be truthful, she was losing feeling in her left hip. The part of her brain that was finally beginning to react logically to the situation was screaming at her to move her ass…to lash out at him for being gone for so long. `He promised never to hurt me…he swore he wouldn't and what does he do? He drops off the face of the earth!' she wondered, again, for a brief moment if this was what her mother felt when Ryen disappeared…when she realized that she would never see her husband again. Had she suffered like Kagome had over these past four days? Kagome sighed and shook her head slowly, `that's like apples and oranges. He's back…I got him back…Mother never got those men back. InuYasha came back to me…does that mean…' she swallowed once, finding herself rather parched and yawned. Closing her eyes for one brief moment, when she opened them, she was face to face with a worried set of amber orbs.

 

“How are you feeling?”

 

His voice, normally so condescending and arrogant, was filled with distraught…with worry. He was worried about her. She blinked once, wondering exactly how sick she was really was before using the moment to pull her from his arms. She sat up, wrapping her arms around her chest and shivered once. “I feel like I'm on ice in hell.”

 

InuYasha raised an eyebrow. `Good thing she can at least get sentences out now.' he gave her a brash smile before leaning over to her tray to get her glass of water. He tried to hide the tremble in his hands as worry clout his brain. `is she really okay now? I mean…is she ready to deal with everything? I know…I know she is going to have it out with me…but it can't be that bad can it? Will I be able to tell her everything I want to?' He turned slowly back and offered it to her with two hands, forcing himself steady. “Here, babe, drink some. You're probably dehydrated. You've been out for three hours.”

 

Kagome turned her nose from the glass. “No.” The water was enticing but she was not going to accept anything from him before getting an apology. He had things he needed to tell her, she could feel it. But there was no way in hell she was just going to let him off the hook that easy. She forced her eyes to meet his and what she saw nearly shattered her heart. He looked so remorseful, so vexed. He looked like a guy who had beat himself up over a bad decision. She felt her eyebrows crease as she fought with herself to keep from reaching to him, to calm and comfort him. `He wasn't here to comfort me when I needed him. Again, he wasn't there when I needed him…he abandoned me to go play with the guys!' she swallowed once again and turned her face from him, tears once again welling in her eyes. `Damn him for making me feel like this!'

 

InuYasha's eyes darkened, as he smelled her tears before he saw the glistening drops on her long beautiful lashes. He reached out with his right hand and dragged two fingers under her eyes, catching one falling tear. “Baby…”

 

Kagome snapped her head out of his reach as his fingers touched her, as if they had burnt her. She stared at the offending hand that kind of lingered in the air where her face had been seconds before with a race of pure shock and misery cutting emotional gashes across his face. She could swear that she heard his heart shatter in that moment. She felt her face tighten as tears continued to flow down her face. She turned from him and swung her legs over the bed and stood on wobbly legs. She glanced down, noticing her state of undress and shook her head slowly. A part of her was sure that she didn't want to know why… `Don't be a fool, Kagome! He would never take advantage of you. Look how fast he jumped when he realized you were awake! The first thing he did was try to take care of you! What more can you ask for? The poor guy probably had something to do and you're berating him of his chance for explanations!' Kagome glowered at the voice in her mind…her voice of reason. She didn't want to let him off the hook that easy, it was just to easy to let this mistake join the others that were over flowing the closet marked `do not enter' in the back of her mind. She walked to her dresser slowly, fully aware that InuYasha was sitting up in bed, his legs dangling over the side with his hands resting on his knees, ready to rush to her side if she needed him. `Where was he when I did need him? Where was he when I cried for him? Where was he to tell me everything was okay? The excuse that he had stuff that needed to be done can only go so far. He should have called…it couldn't have been that much of an inconvenience to call me. Is that all I am, an insouciance of a girlfriend who he doesn't care to call to tell that he's alive?' she swallowed hard as she yanked out a pair of sweat pants and pulled them over her slender hips. She grabbed a hair holder from her dresser and threw her hair into a sloppy ponytail. Throwing him a disgusted look she walked for the door.

 

“Where are you going?”

 

Kagome paused and cringed at the door. She closed her eyes as his voice tore at the already bleeding wounds in her heart. He sounded just as hurt as she was…just as emotionally unstable. For a point, she wondered if she was being the bitch for treating him this way. “I need fresh air.” She knew how monotone her voice was and forced herself to keep from repenting the comment and flinging herself into his arms. `how long can I do this to myself. Without him, I'm nothing…with him, I …i…' a part of her was dying regardless of how this ended. `he doesn't care…how could he? How can he stand here and lie to me about loving me? if he loved me…if he…if he cared as he said he does he would have called me! He would have made some type of attempt. He knows he didn't…he should have known this was coming. I have no choice…he decided this himself.'

 

InuYasha's eyes widened a little at her voice. Reacting as automatic as he could, he nearly jumped to his feet, “it's raining outside. Stay in the house.”

 

Kagome paused as her hand reached for the doorknob. She sucked in a deep breath as a small brash chuckle ripped from her body, “who are you to tell me what to do?”

 

InuYasha walked two feet towards Kagome and planted his feet by hers. He could have touched her shoulder had he simply reached out. “The man who loves you.”

 

Kagome froze as her rested on the copper doorknob. With a very deep scoff, she wheeled around and met his distressed amber gaze with heated mocha eyes. “Who the hell do you think you are, InuYasha? The man who loves me, you say? I don't see him here…sorry.” She watched as her words bitch-smacked InuYasha across his face. He raised one hand to her cheek and stared at Kagome as if she had ripped his heart from his chest. She swallowed hard and willed herself to go on, feeling the anger in her body melt into a puddle at her feet, as he seemed to be breaking into pieces in front of her. She sniffled once, and looked to the floor, unable to meet his gaze, “why…why couldn't you call me? Was…that is….” she sighed and shook her head, the tears she had willed back in her eyes seeping down her cheeks regardless, “am I really that much of an inconvenience?” she swallowed hard, again, and forced out with a wry gasp, “I guess I am…”

 

InuYasha lunged forward, grabbing Kagome roughly by her shoulders and slammed her back against the door. Her eyes snapped open as she met the angry fury that was ignited in his soul. It was as if those words…her calling herself an inconvenience had unleashed something inside of him…something primal, something uncontrollable. `How dare she ever think that of herself! She is my mate! How could she think herself disposable? Doesn't she realize it was my fuck up?' something darker, angrier, in his mind screamed at him in a series of grunts and growls that translated loosely into `fix it. Fix mate! No more tears! Now!' InuYasha leaned forward and gently licked one tear off her cheek before nuzzling his nose into her cheek. “Kagome…don't you dare…” he pulled back to stare at the younger girl, daring her to look away. He made sure she was focused on him before proceeding, “ever…think of you as disposable! You are not anything of the sort! I love you baby…I love you so much! How could you…”

 

A hand reached out and slapped him hard across his right cheek. He turned his head with the blow, pure shock encompassing his face. A rather gruff voice barked back, “don't touch me! You say that I'm not disposable but you couldn't take two damned minutes to call me? No…don't you dare say that you love me! You use that as your scapegoat every time you fuck up! I'm…” she swallowed hard and forced herself to meet his eyes, “I'm done! I can't do this anymore InuYasha!” her jaw quivered and yet she stood her ground.

 

Something inside of him shattered. His eyes widened and yet his pupils reduced in size; it was as if something had smacked him dead on in the balls. He didn't double over but she did not doubt for one moment that his soul had sunk to the floor with those words and died at her feet. She felt the same; simply hearing those words made her want to vomit. She turned on her heels, using his momentary lapse to run out of her room and down the steps of the house. She hardly could see through the barrage of tears that streamed down her face. Somewhere inside of her mind she was dying; no…no it was not her mind…it was her heart. She slammed through her front door and into the pouring rain. The cold air and frozen droplets splashed against her heated skin as she tore down the shrine's steps, never once pausing. She had to get away…she had to stop this pain. She was dying, she was sure of it. `He left me, without so much as a word, then thought he could just show back up with an `I'm sorry but I love you' and fix it? What kind of girl does he take me for? He probably was with another…with another…' something inside of her mind stopped her from finishing that train of thought. `You stupid little girl! What the hell is the matter with you? You didn't even give the boy a chance to explain himself! Turn around, now, and find out what happened…get the truth. If you react more brashly then you already have, you might really lose him, Kagome! Turn around now! Forever…forever is a long time to go without him, do you really want to risk it?' Kagome closed her eyes as she ran faster. `I can't go back…not now. I have to…I have to get out of here!' Her bare foot hit a puddle on the second to last step of the shrine and she lost her balance. Her feet flew out from under her as she flailed her arms to stop her from falling backwards. She knew that if she hit her head on the steps with the force she was falling with, she was as good as dead. Realizing there was nothing to stop her fall…that there was no one there to catch her…she readied herself for the blow. `It can't hurt more then I do right now. Maybe…maybe it will end the pain!' Yet the impact never came.

 

InuYasha took a moment to recover from her harsh words and it took another second for him to realize that she had fled the room. A part of him was justifiably angry. `After all this shit…after all of this mess…she just walks away? After everything I've done? Oh hell no! Not this time…not like this; she is not running away again!' something inside of him burned with fury…a fury for letting himself hurt her again, a fury for her words and reaction…a fury that held no distinct destination for its release…he was simply enraged at the whole situation. `After all I promised her…after everything we've been though…how could I have been so stupid. Suddenly, that damn phone call isn't looking so threatening; this is far worse. She can't be serious…not over this. Damnit, I didn't do anything! She has to understand!' somewhere his unconscious called to him. `It's a much scarier though of facing eternity without her, isn't it? It's a scarier thought of returning to what you were, isn't it? The thought of having to be alone again…of having to start over; is that what you fear, InuYasha, being alone again? Being one of the unloved?' he shook his head as his eyes darkened. `No…you're wrong. This has nothing to do with the fear of being alone! I don't want to live without her…I will not live without her! We've come to far to let something this stupid interrupt us. I will not wake up without her next to me…I will not breathe without knowing she is in my grasp. I will not live without her! I'm not letting her walk…not like this! We've both come to far to turn back now!' he flung open the window to her bedroom and threw himself out of it. Landing on a bended knee, he gazed around the shrine to see the outline of a girl skimpily clad in a spaghetti strapped shirt and sweats fleeing down the shrine steps. The rain was a torrent downpour with no end in sight; the ground was soaked and beginning to reject the onslaught of water, rising puddles all over the Shrine's grounds. The temperature could hardly be over forty degrees Fahrenheit. `She cannot be out here! She is going to catch her death if she keeps this up! Damn that stupid wench…what is she thinking?' InuYasha lunged towards Kagome with speed he nearly forgot he possessed. `She's going to give herself pneumonia if she doesn't get back inside!' He watched in near horror as he reached the top of the steps as her foot went out from under her. InuYasha exhaled only after she landed in his arms, his breath in rapid pants. He had just caught her before her head hit the cement steps. `Damnit, how careless can she be?' Glancing down to look at his love, his breath seemed to cease again. She had her eyes screwed shut, apparently still waiting for the forthcoming impact. He felt his face fall into a look of despair as he began the walk back up the steps. He cradled her to his chest and winced at the pained look on her face. He could just about smell her fever tearing across her body with a vengeance. `Damnit!' he looked down at the girl in his arms before turning and walking back up the steps wordlessly. He held her bridal style, her head pressed against his shoulder. `I am not letting go; I won't…I refuse to!'

 

It took Kagome a while to process the fact that she hadn't hit the ground. It took a longer moment to realize that she was in <I>his</I> arms. She could feel her body begging to collapse back into the warmth he so temptingly lured her with, to surrender back into serenity in his arms, to be swooned by his words…his lies. `But are they lies? Wake up, you stupid girl! You know he loves you! Stop being so pretentious! Listen to him…just this once…listen first before assuming! You know it in your heart…you know he didn't do this to intentionally hurt you!' She blinked away the voice of reason as her fury welled inside of her, taking on it's own voice. `He left you…high and dry; he skipped out when you needed him. What kind of guy does that? The kind that sleeps with you for a conquest, that's who. That is all you are to him…and you have made yourself disposable at that! Face it, wench, you're his toy now.' Kagome grew furious, her passion overwhelming her reason, and kicked InuYasha with her heel in his ribs. He stumbled forward in the sudden blinding pain yet still managed to twist his body in the middle of the attack to land flat on his back on the pavement at the top of the steps and with cat-like reflexes, still managed to get her to land snuggly on his chest. The impact was enough to knock the wind from the boy, but it did not cause him to loosen his grasp. The moment they hit ground, his body shielding her from the impact, Kagome pulled herself free from his arms and sat up, inadvertently straddling his hips in the process. As she bent her knees to stand on unsteady legs, his hands clamped down on her thighs, holding her in her place. Her brown eyes widened and shot through the mess of silver bangs that cluttered his face to meet his amber orbs. She expected him to be livid; to scream at her for being so stupid and the normal name-calling would follow with him lecturing her on being stupid. What she saw startled her…and destroyed any trace of anger in her body. He looked miserable; his eyes were filled with worry, with fear…with the fear of losing her…with the fear of facing another day without her. The rain absolved her, washing the rage and jealous vehemence from her body as she collapsed into his chest, sobbing hysterically. `Damnit…I did it again. I almost ran because…I thought…I thought I wasn't good enough…I thought he was going to hurt me pointlessly. How could I question his love for me? How could i…?' InuYasha's arms left her legs and wrapped themselves protectively around her back, holding her tighter against his warm chest, trying to hold her to him. Her voice cracked with the volley of sobs that tore at her chest with blinding white-hot pain. “Why…why did you leave?”

 

InuYasha carefully sat up, still cautious of her heels and kneecaps that now rested so close to his most vital of organs. He shoved the pain aside that shot through his body like knives and slowly stood. “Kagome…” he pulled her with him, trying to maneuver his hands to be able to carry her once again. “Let's go inside…”

 

Kagome stood to her own feet yet refused to budge forward. “No…” she crossed her arms around her chest, trying to keep from shuddering. She knew her fever was burning the rain off her forehead and consuming her body but she needed answers…only then would she be able to rest properly. “What happened? Why did you leave?”

 

InuYasha reached down and traced her cheek with two soggy fingers, wiping off the rain that had landed on her cheeks. Moments after he cleared the path, new drops took their place. But these were not raindrops…they were tears. Kagome tried to withhold the sobs that racked her body yet failed. InuYasha could feel the sobs through his chest and fought with his own. `I almost lost her again…I almost blew it.' he sighed and lowered his head to rest his forehead against hers. “Kagome…in Kyushu…that's where my mother is buried. I have…had…family relations…things I needed to tie up. I had to do one last quest for my mother…and I had to do it alone. I'm sorry, baby…it was something that I needed to fix that I needed to do alone. If I had told you what I was going to do, then I feared that you would want to go with me. I never meant…I really didn't….” he sighed and buried his face in her hair by her right ear. Inhaling her scents, the scents that calmed him, that soothed his inner beast, he closed his eyes. “I meant for it to be a one day trip…but I…” he balled one hand into a fist behind Kagome's back. Hiten. It was Hiten and that damn Bankotsu's fault that he nearly lost Kagome again. He was going to pay…both of them would. With a deep sigh, he released his fist letting go of his anger. `Now is not the time for that'. He opened his eyes slowly and grimaced as the rain picked up. He could feel Kagome weakening against him and he moved. Grabbing her around her waist, he hiked her up over his shoulder and bolted for the house. Her small fists pounded lightly against his back, more for show he was sure then actually an attempt to get down. He ran around back and took one jump into her bedroom window…yet didn't stop. Walking from her bedroom, he went straight for the bathroom. Only once he reached the toilet did he stop. He planted her on the closed lid and pointed one finger at her soaking wet clothes that now had her shivering with the cold November rain. “Lose the clothes, I'll draw you a bath.”

 

Kagome did a double take of the hanyou in front of her. They had been connecting…he had nearly told her what had happened when suddenly…. His words hit her like a ton of bricks and she felt her jaw slack in response, “excuse me? You want me to do what now?”

 

InuYasha was already lingering over the tub, a scowl on his face, as he ran water into the small tub. Not daring to look back, he could already smell the sickness returning to the girl with a vengeance. `Her mom is going to kill me!' a voice in his head chuckled, `not half as much as she will if she comes home to you in the bathroom with her naked daughter!' InuYasha's scowl darkened as he drew the bath for the drenched girl. He tried to hide the blush that rushed to his cheeks as he took in the site of the exquisite girl sitting in front of him. Her top was clinging to her curves in all the right ways…her lips were slightly parted and were calling to him. He grit his teeth together “Clothes…off…now.”

 

Kagome tried to smile yet failed when a cough overran her body. She shook with each exhale, her chest burning with the sensation. `Damnit, when did I get this sick?' idly, she began tugging her clothes from her body. `He is just worried…he's trying to warm me up.' she blushed as she suddenly found herself naked and in InuYasha's arms. `How did he…wait…what the hell just happened?'

 

Kagome was taking far to long. InuYasha had the bath drawn and Kagome in his arms in a matter of seconds. Hardly taking any notice to her state of undress, he deposited the girl into the tub of warm water. His ears flattened to his head when she hissed at the temperature, yet he could see the relief on her face. She had been freezing and that would just not help her cold. He gave her a brief smile that was filled with worry, grabbed her clothes and tossed them into the hamper in the bathroom. Only then did he fall to his knees beside the tub and rest his left cheek on the pale white porcelain tub. He smiled when she laid back and sighed contently. The two remained silent for a comfortable moment before InuYasha struggled to his feet, “I'll go get you dry clothes. You should…wash up…but uhh…hurry up, you're still sick…” he paused and gave her a wry smile, “…weak human…”

 

Her mouth fell into an indignant o shape as he closed the door behind him. Kagome would be lying if she had stated that she was okay to do this alone. She felt like there was weights attached to each of her arms…but asking InuYasha to help her was so out in left field…it just was not going to happen. `Could I take his hands on me…without wanting…without receiving more…' she blushed crimson as she began to scrub at her body with her lufa. `He…he was worried about me. He came back because…he thought…' she closed her eyes and washed shampoo into her hair. She could hear him pacing in the hallway outside of the bathroom door. `He doesn't want to push me…he doesn't want to make me feel…' she blushed again and finished bathing as fast as she could. She wanted to be in his arms…it had been a burning need as soon as she realized she couldn't be…for four days that was all she thought about. She thought about how her body curved in proportion to his…how her head seemed to fit like a puzzle piece into the nook of his neck. All she could think about was how right it felt when her body was wrapped around his. She sighed and rinsed the conditioner from her hair and attempted to stand. Her legs wobbled once and she fell back onto her ass, luckily she had not been more then a foot off the ground. The door to the bathroom flung open, nearly being knocked off its hinges and InuYasha stormed into the bathroom, not pausing until he was once again in front of the tub. Kagome glanced up at the hanyou, her cheeks now a bright flaming red matching the color that overwhelmed his face. Kagome swallowed hard then blinked as small stars exploded in her vision. `No…I'm not blacking out again! I can't! Not like this…this is not cool!' She felt something warm being wrapped around her as she was lifted from the tub like a rag doll.

 

InuYasha had never pulled a towel off a rack faster then he had at that moment. Sheathing Kagome in the white cotton, he lifted her carefully from the tub and carried her back into her room. He could tell she was near passing out again as he let her settle into the comfortable sheets of her bed. He returned to the bathroom only after making sure she was settled, for the clothes he had picked out for her. Quickly he returned to the room and stared at the girl. `Shit.' He fidgeted once, looking at the clothes to the girl's towel covered body. `The shit I do for her…' he smiled as he dropped onto the bed next to her, his hand going for the towels edge. `I can just see her mom coming in now…of all times.' He scowled and paused at the burning image. `Talk about breaking out the sutras. Her mother would fry me alive…'

 

A hand slapped over his and he nearly screamed, fearing the worst of his ideas had occurred. Kagome's brown eyes met his and she gave him a small smile. She shook her head then sat up slowly. “It's okay…Yash…I got it.”

 

InuYasha looked like he wanted to argue but simply shrugged and sat back. It wasn't as if he wouldn't dress her…she was his mate after all. It was just…well…weird. A small smirk over took his handsome features as he settled back on the bed as his eyes took in her body. Her pale skin that was barely covered by the towel…the swell of her breasts pressing against the towels surface. He found himself hardening at the sight in front of him, much to his disgust. `Damn…she's sick and I'm just about…damn!'

 

Kagome stared at InuYasha incredulously then blinked and gave him a bored glower, “can you turn around?” she could sense his tension…in all areas…and was fighting her own blush over the thought. She wasn't just going to strip in front of him, no matter how many times he had seen in all her glory before. This was just weird. `Here I am, sick as a dog…thinking about being naked in front of him? What has he turned me into?'

 

InuYasha gave her a cocky smirk and tilted his head to his right shoulder to look over her body again from a different angle, “maybe…but it ain't nothing I haven't seen…or tasted…”

 

Kagome's blush overtook her entire body as her breath caught in her throat. If she hadn't been sick… she just about growled. `Shit, why does he have to be so damn sexy?' she closed her eyes and shook her head and held out a shaky hand pointing towards the door, “out!”

 

InuYasha sighed and made a show of turning around so his back was to her. “Is this good enough? Cause if it ain't…that's to damn bad!”

 

Kagome stared at InuYasha and then rolled her eyes. She shifted from the towel to the clothes that her lover had picked out quickly; as if afraid he would turn around to get his rocks off at the sight. She sighed, `how elementary school is this?' she finished pulling on her pants and threw the tank top he had pulled out for her over her shoulders. With a small cough, she lightly let herself fall back into the pillows. “Now…before I take another nap…” she frowned at the thought; not so much nap as pass out. `Damn this cold!' she shook her head once and spoke while yawning, “what were you saying?”

 

InuYasha turned to stare down at Kagome, a small part of him, which sounded like Miroku, was sad to see that she was properly dressed. He smiled and let himself fall backwards before shoving his left arm under Kagome's shoulders and pulling her to his chest. He turned her manually onto her right side and eased her head to his shoulder blade. Planting a soft kiss on her forehead, he rested his head right above hers. “It's a long story, Princess, and if you're tired, I'm going to wait till your ready to hear it. You getting better is much more important then anything I can say.”

 

Kagome turned to look up at InuYasha through her eyes with a distinct frown, “you're not getting out of this that easy, mister. You've been gone for…what…three, maybe four days? You can't,” Kagome paused to yawn again and fought with the sandman that tugged at her eyelids and soothed her with a silent lullaby. “…You can't just smooth talk your way out of this!”

 

InuYasha rolled his eyes and kissed her forehead, “you need to sleep.”

 

Kagome narrowed her eyes indignantly at the hanyou and tried to pull herself from his arms. “And you need to start fessing up!”

 

InuYasha held her tighter, a small smirk forming on his lips as she struggled half-heartedly. He wouldn't have restrained her if her attempt had been with effort to free her body from him…she was just blowing smoke up his ass. He gave her a very smug grin and tapped her nose with one claw, “I don't have anything to fess up to. I did nothing wrong in Kyushu…except kick some old acquaintances asses and figure out whose asses I need to hand to people here. But like I said, none of that matters. What does matter is that; one, I love you…and two, you need to go to sleep. Now.”

 

Kagome sighed and rested her head on his collarbone, “you can't tell me what to do, you know!”

 

InuYasha lowered his mouth to her ear, smirking wildly towards the side of her face. He knew she could see him…he smelt the desired effect it had on her body. She still wanted him…she still loved him. `And my smile still has it.' he tried not to react so cockily but his smirk had always been a knee-bending, leg wobbling drug to all the girls he knew. With the flash of one of his million dollar smiles, InuYasha was always able to get girls to do anything for him…and anything was unlimited, as he had learned. He kissed her temple and whispered huskily in her ear, “I can tell you what to do, Princess…because I'm your mate. You have to listen to me, it's an unwritten rule.”

 

Kagome fused her brows at the nickname and crinkled her nose. “I hate you calling me that…and what do you mean I can't argue with you? Does that go in both directions?” She wanted to hear what had happened…what had caused him to leave her. But what mattered, and she understood that, without the words being spoken, he had taken care of personal stuff that he thought he didn't need to include her in on. They would speak of that when she was feeling better. For the moment though, she knew he was there…and he was okay. She knew he loved her and hadn't abandoned her. He had tried once again to protect her. Kagome sighed and shook her head, `it's that baka gene, I know it is!'

 

InuYasha smirked and closed his eyes, “I know and that's why I call you princess…Princess.”

 

Kagome sighed and shook her head slowly, “you're such a jerk.” `But I love you regardless.' Though she didn't speak the words, the idea floated through the air and put the pair at rest.

 

InuYasha's smirk grew, knowing he had to prod that subject. He voiced the words for her, “that's why you love me.”

 

Kagome huffed snapping open her eyes and tried to pull herself up to look down at him, “harassing sick people is a sick fetish of yours, isn't it?”

 

InuYasha scoffed and put his left hand onto the base of her skull, luring her head back to his shoulder, “shut up and go to sleep, baby…you're rambling.” There was a long awkward pause that InuYasha finally relented to; “it's not a fetish, Princess…if it were, I would have been in that tub with you.” His inner demon growled at the thought; mate…claim mate. He nearly coughed feeling his loins beginning to burn at the thought. `No…not now! Damn, can't that fucking stay down for five minutes?'

 

Kagome laughed ruefully and antagonized, “no, that was just a really random act of control, something I didn't know you possessed.”

 

InuYasha let his jaw slack open as he stared down at the girl in his arms, “excuse me?” he let his lips twitch into an evil grin as he poked at her sides, earning loud squeals from the girl. “What was that? I lack what? Say that again Kagome?” He didn't press her to hard, knowing she was still sick but enough to get his point across.

 

Kagome squirmed in InuYasha's arms and threw herself to her right, only to be trapped on his chest. She squirmed as his hands attacked both of her sides and she silently cursed herself for choosing to roll the wrong way. Her chest was pressed against his chest and she was laughing like a maniac. He wouldn't relent and she wouldn't surrender. `This shall be interesting!'

 

InuYasha's barrage of tickle-fest 2005 ceased after a minute of her being on his lap. His eyes widened slowly and his breath became jagged, “damn, Kagome…” his hands grasped onto her hips and he forced her still, “…damn.”

 

Kagome opened her mouth to ask what was wrong before she felt it. Even if she hadn't, the look in his eyes would have told her the truth. In those golden orbs that she loved so much was a sudden raw passion…a primal desire…that ignited her fires just seeing the glimmer of such basic needs in his eyes. She felt her loins burst into flames as his hardened member poked into her hip. She crushed her lips together to keep from laughing, though the situation was far from funny. She brought one hand up slowly, in a peaceful manner, and dragged her fingers through his bangs, pushing them out of his face, “Yash…”

 

InuYasha smiled, almost sadly, at the girl before turning to his left to deposit her back on the mattress. “You should…uhh…get some sleep.” He offered her a forced smile and kissed her forehead.

 

Kagome tilted her head up as his lips grazed her skin and met them with hers, pressing the two soft appendages together in a moment of bliss. Her tongue darted from her mouth and she dragged it across his lips, allowing herself a taste of him. `God how I missed him.' she pulled back, her lips still parted and waiting for more…needing more. She felt her body shiver once, maybe at the loss of his lips, or with the fever, she wasn't sure. “Yash…” she didn't want her voice to sound that desperate, but it did.

 

InuYasha smiled, looking down at Kagome, and once again brushed his lips over hers. “Not now baby. You need your sleep…” he couldn't help the cocky tone that had wormed its way into her voice; his bitch needed his attention. `Bitch? Damn my Youkai side for seeing her as that. No, she's not my bitch…she's my mate!'

 

Kagome groaned and curled into his chest, resting her head on his outstretched left arm. “I hate being sick…”

 

InuYasha laughed ruefully and kissed her forehead and cheeks. “You'll be okay, I'll make sure.”

 

Kagome nodded; sleep beginning to slowly pull at her eyes. It overwhelmed her so quickly, blindsided her…it was like being hit by a truck. She gave in to closing her eyes and laughed scornfully; the dampness that he enticed between her legs was not so easily dissipating and was beginning to eat away at her sanity. She knew that she needed sleep, her body was screaming it to her…but her mind was also screaming that she needed…him. She knew how sick she was and yet she still wanted him…needed him. She needed to be touched, to be appeased. What she didn't want to do was beg…but gods did she need him. He had turned on something so deep inside of her she had no idea how to shut it off. `Maybe I'm not supposed to…maybe this is how it is supposed to be…to be angry when I can't touch him…when I can't feel him.' she swallowed hard and allowed herself to do the one thing she swore she would never do; beg. “Baby…I need…I want…”

 

InuYasha scoffed and pushed his lips to the right side of her neck; placing light kisses up the soft skin as innocently as one could. He couldn't believe his ears and was choosing to ignore it. `She doesn't mean…she can't be serious. My Kagome would never beg me for…would never take the gull to…damn!' He focused on a spot on the wall while blandly stating, “Kagome, you need to get better.”

 

Kagome moaned as she pushed her body against his with the last bit of strength she possessed. `Talk about new levels to sink to; what has he done to me?' she moaned lightly and pressed her head against his shoulder, “Inu…I don't want to get better…I want you…now…”

 

InuYasha raised an eyebrow, cursing whatever god thought this situation would be amusing. He would chew off his own arm before allowing himself to take her while she was this sick. She was feverish and probably slightly delusional. He could taunt her with memories from this for a month, he was sure of it. `Damn me and not having a tape recorder! She would kill me later for that but when is she ever going to be willing to beg…damnit!' He sighed and relented, her scent beginning to entice him into the darker sides of his personality. `She's going to be the death of me, I swear it!' he looked down and whispered seductively in her ear, “Tell you what baby, you tell me that in two days when you ain't sick no more and I'll fuck you three ways from Thursday; how does that sound?”

 

Kagome groaned in approval as she closed her eyes and gave into the easier of the two needs to fill; sleep. She didn't expect to be able to close her eyes and zonk out…but she did, in a matter of seconds.

 

InuYasha frowned as he felt the girl he loved with all of his heart fall into a deep sleep. They had…she had asked… damnit! InuYasha ran his right hand over his face and shook his head slowly, `that had to be the fever talking. My Kagome would never…she would…would she?' he smirked as he smelled Kagome's scent spike as small muffled moan escaped her lips. He could just about feel his bravado inflate, `I can only guess what she's dreaming about.' he sighed dejectedly and let his head roll back to the pillows, willing his member to relax. `Man…when she's better…' he sighed again and tried to ward off those thoughts. `Only will get me into trouble.' He pulled her tighter to his chest and covered them both in blankets. He still was having a hard time going over everything that had happened. `I almost did it again? Why didn't I see it? Why couldn't' I see the signs that I almost fucked up again?' very gently, InuYasha ran his right fingers through her bangs and then stroked her loose flowing hair. `I almost lost you again cause I'm such a fucking idiot! What the hell is wrong with me Kagome?' at that thought, Kagome began to mumble incoherently. Her aura grew dark…angry…hurt? She lightly tossed back and forth, her eyebrows creased. InuYasha stared at her for a moment, a very deep growl building in his chest, `what is she dreaming about? Is she angry with me? Is she hurt? Is she dreaming of how I hurt her?' he didn't like the idea that he couldn't reach her…that he couldn't' help her. He hated it, in fact. Feeling the anger welling in her body, he felt incapable of controlling it…of helping her. He never wanted to feel helpless with her…it made him feel like a part of him failed. `I almost did fail, didn't I? I caused this anger this time…didn't I? We just keep hurting each other…' something deep inside of him was beginning to ask questions he wouldn't answer…that he refused to even consider.

 

`If it hurts this much now, what's going to happen in a year? In ten years? Are you two always going to fight like idiots? Fight like absolute morons? Are you always going to be angry? Should you take this as a sign and get the hell out of dodge? What do you think InuYasha? Can you really stick around for this?'

 

InuYasha growled and hugged Kagome tighter, `of course I can do this! I love her. I can only imagine where we'll be in ten years…but I know one thing; wherever she is, I'll be there. I will not lose her…not again!'

 

`Think about how many people you've been with you baka! All those girls…didn't they mean anything to you? Weren't there a few you were ready to marry? Kara…maybe Lirin…didn't you promise them eternity to get down their pants? What of them?'

 

InuYasha made a face, `well…Kara became a fuck slut and Lirin…I'm sure Kougaiji is taking care of her like a brother should. She was too sweet for her own good…sweet and innocent...and a fucking ray of sunshine at that. Oh…how Kougaiji hated me.' he shook his head with a dull laugh, `getting way off topic. Look…it doesn't matter about the girls in the past. Yeah, I was an asshole…I get it. but what you don't get is that I love Kagome…I love her with all my heart.'

 

A deep chuckle resonated somewhere in his mind, echoing like a dropped object in an empty room and sent shivers up his spine. `Yeah…we know that. Just want to make sure you don't go fucking this up…again…'

 

InuYasha rolled his eyes and looked down at Kagome. `Mess things up again huh?' Kagome twisted at that moment in his lap again, her eyes screwing shut and he frowned. `Baby…what are you thinking of? Do you sense my frustration over this? Do you realize I never wanted to hurt you? I'll fix this…I promise.' He laughed ruefully as lyrics of one of his more favorite songs from Nickelback© popped into his head. He hated to sing…Bankotsu hadn't been far from the truth when he told Kagome such. But his problem with singing was that he just never really felt like he was anything…like he was actually good. He had been told by many other people that he was amazing…that he could get anywhere in life with singing…but he just was his own worst critic. Yet now lyrics poured through his mind while he stared at the girl in his arms and he couldn't help following with one. He ran his fingers through her bangs while his eyes focused on her closed eyelids. `God she's beautiful.' He smiled as words slipped from his lips, hardly above a dull whisper. He could remember his mother always singing to him when he was younger…when he couldn't sleep. There were some instances when he could remember hearing his mothers voice when he wasn't awake…she would just watch him sleep and when he would be troubled, she would be there. He could only hope to be present like that for his own children…to protect them and love them like she did him. He smiled as he quietly sung, “How the hell'd we wind up like this…why weren't we able…to see the signs that we missed…and try to turn the tables. Now the story's played out like this…just like a paperback novel…let's rewrite an ending that fits…instead of a Hollywood horror…” ©

 

InuYasha paused as Kagome shifted in his arms, a small smile evenly spreading across her face. He stopped and ran his hand through her hair, and felt a weight be lifted from his heart. For the first time in a while, everything seemed okay…things seemed right. Though Kagome was sick, the sickly scent had drifted away from her and InuYasha was content. He rested his head back against the pillows on her bed and closed his eyes. `I think it's going to be okay. This all just might work out…'

 

~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*

 

Rin sat on the couch staring at the clock on the ugly beige wall and sighed deeply. She had already been close to one panic attack in the waiting room and had succumbed to taking two Advil's to try to calm down. It had the desired effects only after settling down on the good doctors couch. Sesshoumaru had made small talk with the doctor while Rin calmed down that had escalated into growls before Yamaoto had whisked Rin away into the office, which only caused a higher onset of the attack. Now Rin sat…trapped for a half hour…in the tedious room. `Not a lively thing in here…it's all so…tranquil…bland…yuck?' Rin shook her head and rested against the cushions on the couch.

 

“So…how was your weekend, Rin?”

 

Rin cracked open one eye to stare gloomily at the doctor. Yamaoto was still behind her desk, writing in that god-awful journal. `My weekend; it sucked…as always. But damn, can't tell her that now can I?' Rin tapped her fingers on her knee and shrugged, “Well…it wasn't the greatest. Kagome's boyfriend kind of bounced momentarily so we had a girls night to try to calm her down.”

Dr. Yamaoto stood from behind her desk, tucking her long black hair behind her hears and sat down on the chair by the couch. She smiled kindly at the girl and asked, “a girls night?”

 

Rin nodded slowly, suddenly wondering if she should talk about what had happened. `What business is it of hers?' she shrugged off the statement and sighed, “yeah, me and Sango kind of spent the day with Kagome to keep her company.” A part of Rin silently begged for the woman not to press on with the conversations. Though nothing had been awkward or uneasy for her to be with her friends, she didn't need some psychological babble to confuse her about them as well as Sesshoumaru. `Am I confused about Sesshoumaru?' she thought while narrowing her eyes. She didn't like how the words slipped from Yamaoto's mouth…they sounded evil, almost hissed in a serpent like manner. But weren't things okay…she was just having normal reactions, wasn't she? She wasn't confused over Sesshoumaru; she was just unconsciously protecting herself. That is what Yamaoto told her, wasn't it? Things were fine…she was doing okay. `Doesn't matter that me and Sessh can't have sex…we will…maybe…and it has nothing to do with…he didn't…' Rin sighed and shook her head slowly.

 

Dr. Yamaoto offered her a warm smile that made Rin's skin crawl. “It must have been good to be able to spend time with your friends. I guess with so much happening for you in this past month, you have not been able to spend so much time with them, have you?”

 

Rin shrugged with ease, brushing off her past concerns. “I haven't really thought much about it. Sesshoumaru has been a new influence in my life…and with everything with…” she paused and shifted her weight to rest forward, her hands on her knees. It was obvious how hard it was for her to say his name. “With everything with Naraku and the others, we…that is…Kagome and I haven't been as close…no…”

 

There was a long pause and the doctor lifted her head to stare at Rin. “Does it bother you that you do not get to see Kagome that much?”

 

Rin made a face and shrugged again, “not really. I mean, I'm happy that she's happy. Even though it's with InuYasha…who don't get me wrong, is a good guy and all…but…it's just…well…” she paused and let her words hang in the air thickly.

 

Dr. Yamaoto nodded slowly, “I'm glad to know that you are okay with her. It is always good to keep close friends; they are always someone who can be there for you, no matter what is going on in their lives…people who you can talk to about anything.”

 

Rin groaned once, knowing that she had always seen Kagome in that light…but had she ever acted on it? `I know I can trust her with my life…but…I never told anyone about Naraku…I never relied in them.' Rin shifted her weight nervously and nodded absently. “Yeah.”

 

Dr. Yamaoto took one look at Rin's face and scowled, “what's the matter Rin?”

 

Rin shrugged and looked towards the door, suddenly feeling very trapped. “I just…well…I don't know. I love Kagome and Sango like sisters but sometimes, you know, you can't let everyone into your little world. You got to go it alone.”

 

Dr. Yamaoto cringed and shifted forward to stare at Rin, “maybe…maybe not. I don't think Kagome would have felt that way if we were to ask her. I'm sure that she would have gladly stood by your side with all of the problems you had with Naraku.”

 

Rin's nostrils flared as she quickly shot back, “I would never have asked her to help me with him! Never!”

 

Dr. Yamaoto leaned back, her eyes widening at the harsh tone of Rin's suddenly demanding demeanor and clicked her teeth, “and why wouldn't you have? Didn't you agree that friends are people who you can trust?”

 

Rin narrowed her eyes, “it's not about trust! I trust Kagome with my life…just as I do Sango and Sesshoumaru! It was about…” she paused and looked to the ground, slumping backwards into the couch. `Damn…you went this far, you might as well just blurt it out. Go ahead, Rin…get it off your chest.' Rin winced and finished the sentence, “it was about protecting Kagome.”

 

Dr. Yamaoto slowly looked over the young girl and removed the glasses from her face. She licked her ruby red lips and narrowed her teal eyes, “protecting, you say? Protecting Kagome from whom?”

 

Rin blinked once and met the psychiatrist's glare with a bleak glower of her own. “From Naraku, of course.”

 

Dr. Yamaoto sat back in the chair and crossed her hands, “why did you have to protect Kagome from Naraku, Rin?”

 

Rin made a face and suddenly found her mouth parched. She blinked slowly and then licked her lips, trying to restore moisture to her body. She knew at some point she was going to have to come clean about everything…she just hoped that it wouldn't be this hard. “Naraku always had a…thing…for Kagome. He wanted her…he wanted her so bad that he was willing to go through just about anything to get to her.” With a cringe, Rin remembered the night that everyone had found out about Naraku and the threats he promised her in the alley, `“Then I will go after them…I'm sure you don't want them to go through what you've been through.”' That had been one of the more idle threats that he had delivered to her about her friends. No…Naraku had threatened her far worse…promised far worse. “He…the first weekend that he…” she looked down and shook her head, spite demanding its away into her voice, “Naraku always told me that if I were to get Kagome to be alone with him for five minutes, he would leave me alone. He promised my freedom if I would deliver him Kagome's body. He wanted to fuck with her like he did me. He was a sick son of a bitch who deserves death.” She balled her hand into a fist and slammed it down on the sofa next to her, trying to relieve some of the stress that was building inside of her. `Damn him!'

 

Dr. Yamaoto taped her pen on her notebook and leaned forward, worry lines spreading like crows feet from her eyes. “You mean, after everything he did to you…after all of the torture he inflicted upon you…you stayed loyal to your friend and took the beating for her?”

 

Rin looked up at the doctor and gawked. “Of course I did. What kind of friend just drops another off in the wolves' lair to be eaten alive? No one should ever leave a friend in that kind of disposition!”

 

Dr. Yamaoto made a small noise in the back of her throat and sat back in her chair, “wow…you really are quite the girl Rin, do you know that? No teenager I have ever known would be so unselfish as to sacrifice his or her own life for a friends welfare. I just hope that Kagome realizes how much you have saved her.”

 

Rin licked her lips again, blushing lightly at the compliment but took the stab to her heart all the same. “I never told Kagome…she didn't need to know I could have had a way out.”

 

Dr. Yamaoto paused and looked up at Rin, “you're kidding, right? You really did all of that for this girl who never knew it?”

 

Rin nodded, a small smile spreading to her lips. “Yes.”

 

Dr. Yamaoto raised one eyebrow, obviously impressed. “That's amazing Rin. I'm stunned. To do that without recognition…simply amazing.”

 

Rin scowled and sat back into the couch, swinging her legs under her ass. “It's nothing about recognition…it's about protecting my friends. I don't give a damn about her knowing! I know…that's damn well enough!”

 

Dr. Yamaoto chewed on the side of her cheek for a moment, then slowly followed with, “that is very true. But the pain…knowing that you could have stopped it…maybe that is why you're having a hard time with Sesshoumaru; maybe you're seeing everything that happened on a bigger picture and are taking out your anger in another way…locking yourself up from the world to avoid being hurt again. Have you ever thought of that?”

 

Rin narrowed her eyes and shrugged, “I don't think I'm locking myself up, doctor. I'm…I can't…everything…” Rin sighed deeply and shook her head, letting her words die off.

 

Dr. Yamaoto studied Rin's face for a while then tapped her chin, “is Kagome as beautiful of a girl as you are?”

 

Rin paused, letting her eyes meet the gaze of her psychiatrist and she swallowed. `What kind of question is that?' Rin tried to tell if the doctor was joking then relented, “I guess. Yeah, Kagome has been called a knockout a number of times. Kouga was and still is obsessed with her, and she has a couple others who follow her like lost puppies…or at least did until InuYasha scared them away.”

 

Dr. Yamaoto nodded slowly, “I see. Do you think beauty had anything to do with Naraku's choice of the two of you?”

 

Rin took a long moment to study the doctor. How could she ask such a stupid question? Nearly growling back, Rin answered, “I think Naraku wanted to obtain something he thought untouchable.”

 

“And you were?”

 

“Is this going somewhere? Cause if it is, get there!” Rin crossed her arms, her eyes blazing with anger and sat back. `How dare she?'

 

Dr. Yamaoto smiled and tossed her hair over her shoulder before looking back to Rin, “beauty, Rin, can motivate people to do ridiculous things. It causes jealousy, hatred, and can be the cause of many crimes against people. Its something to cherish.” She smiled and studied the baffled look on Rin's face, “don't blanche, my dear, I'm simply saying that maybe it was never about you…or Kagome. It was about what he saw that he wanted…not who.”

 

Rin bit back, “it almost sounds as if you're defending that asshole.”

 

Dr. Yamaoto laughed lightly, “I would never do that, Rin. Naraku is where he belongs, in jail.” She shook her head once, dropping the subject for the time being and switched the subject. “You mentioned the first weekend that Naraku…forced you…into submission. Do you remember the events of that day?”

 

Rin nodded absently, still seething over the previous conversation. `Who does she think she is?'

 

Dr. Yamaoto smiled sadly and leaned closer to Rin, “can you tell me about it?”

 

Rin snapped her head up to meet Yamaoto's stare and blandly replied, “He raped me. End of story.”

 

Dr. Yamaoto scowled and shook her head, “no Rin…that's not the end of the story. It is the beginning.” She sat back and tapped her nails on the finished wood of the chair she was sitting in, “tell me how it happened? What did he say to you?”

 

Rin closed her eyes, not wishing to relive that day ever again and sighed. `I guess I have to finish that damn story.' foolishly she wondered if the pain would go away if she told her sob story. She took a deep breath to compose herself and began, “I had been working with him for roughly nine or ten months. He had never…really…done anything to hurt me. Some things made me uncomfortable like the trash he would talk about girls, or who he had fucked…he would make really derogative jokes. After about nine months of me being there, he started grabbing me around my waist when I walked by…grabbed my ass with a sick grin on his face…joked around about my personal life….”

 

Yamaoto glanced up, “you talked to him about your life outside of work?”

 

Rin shook her head, “no, he went to the same school as me. We never associated outside of work.”

 

Yamaoto nodded, “I see…go ahead.”

 

Rin rolled her eyes and looked to the floor, “Naraku would say the reason I wouldn't have sex with Kouga, who was my boyfriend at the time, was because I really wanted him. Stupid shit like that. I would tell him to shove it and get lost then tried to make myself invisible. Bout seven months ago, he had called me up into the office in the middle of the club night. He said he saw me talking with Kagome when I was on break and wanted me to bring her up to speak to him. He said he had some job positions available she would be great for. His whore, mainly, but he never said that. I could see it though…written across his face. I could see the desire in his eyes and I told him that she had left for the night. We started an argument, mostly because he could still see Kagome dancing in the club. I told him I would never bring her to him because something seemed off and he pushed me to tell him what it was. I told him I was afraid of what he would do to her. He grew angry…very angry…and smacked me. He told me I should be afraid of what he would do to me if I didn't listen.” Rin closed her eyes and put a hand to her cheek as if to heal the emotional scar though her cheek, “I…I kept yelling at him. I told him that I wouldn't take this lightly. I told him that I would make sure he rotted in jail for hitting me. That's when he went into this whole monologue speech about me being his and he could do whatever he wanted to me. I hit him, not believing that he had the brass balls to tell me that and he grabbed my arm. He said I was his and he would prove it.” Rin sneered and shoved her hair behind her ears. “He raped me in the office…then beat the living crap out of me. I remember looking up and seeing Diegosan in the doorway. He had stopped Naraku from possibly killing me, but he was smiling. That smile haunts my dreams, doc, I'm serious. It was like he was condoning what Naraku was doing.”

 

Yamaoto shook her head slowly, “and this was all over Kagome?”

 

Rin bit her bottom lip and shrugged, “no…it was over him believing that I was his.”

 

Yamaoto studied Rin's face for a moment before adding, “but you weren't.”

“No…I was not then nor am I now. Even after that night…and the weekend that followed, I still told him such. I think…I think that's why he kept doing it…why he kept raping me. He knew that I refused to break, to admit defeat. He wanted to see me crumble and hand him my best friend to make him go away.”

 

Yamaoto shook her head slowly, “and you didn't. And yet your supposed best friend doesn't even know this.”

 

Rin shot back, “she is my best friend, not supposed, and no, she still doesn't know. No one does. No one has to. I tell you because I have to…and I don't like it, to be honest.”

 

Dr. Yamaoto coughed into her hand and frowned, “Rin…you said that Naraku beat you up during this encounter?”

 

Rin nodded, adverting her eyes once more.

 

Dr. Yamaoto leaned forward and studied her face a little closer, “why didn't your friends ever notice?”

 

Rin paused, her eyes meeting with the doctors. “Because I was out of school for four days that week. I made sure that someone got the message that I had caught the flu.”

 

Dr. Yamaoto hid the smile that was forming on her face and tilted her head to the side, “and your friends never came calling to see if you were okay? Did they not care?”

 

“I told them to stay away…that I was contagious. They didn't like it but listened.”

 

Dr. Yamaoto licked her lips and leaned forward, “and what of your boyfriend of the time? He was Youkai, was he not? Could he not smell Naraku all over you?”

 

Rin opened her mouth then shut it, her eyes slightly widening. `Could he? Could Kouga have known? No…there is no…just no. He would have intervened if he knew…he would have stood up for me. Kouga didn't know…'

 

Dr. Yamaoto rubbed the bridge of her nose and offered her hand to the girl, “Did you not say that Kouga wanted Kagome?”

 

Rin stared at the doctor from under her bangs and sneered, “what of it?”

 

Dr. Yamaoto shook her head and held up her hands, slowly waving them at the girl, “nothing…I'm just talking aloud.”

 

Rin quickly retorted, “Which means that you're thinking of something, so spill it. What are you saying?”

 

Dr. Yamaoto leaned forward and patted Rin's knee, “it's nothing, honestly. I'm just thinking that Kouga might have turned a blind eye from all of the events in attempts to maybe… I don't know…take your absence as a time to get closer to Kagome?”

 

Rin stood from the couch and began pacing the room, trying to control her boiling temper. If she snapped…even the police wouldn't be able to pull her off the doctor. Rin closed her eyes, stopping by the door and leaned her forehead against the wall. “He…Kouga is dense and honestly a little…slow…but he would never just sit back and let that happen. Not like that…”

 

Dr. Yamaoto stood from the chair and walked towards Rin. “Rin, I want you to be careful. These people, who you say are your friends, sound rather sketchy to me. Honestly, and I am very apologetic to be the one to say this, but it really sounds as if people avoided seeing what needed to be seen. Why could they not have helped you?”

 

Rin chewed on her tongue, not daring to look behind her and whispered as tears began to stream down her cheeks, “I want to go home now.”

 

Dr. Yamaoto took the last two steps and put a hand on Rin's shoulder. “It's okay, Rin…you can let it all out.”

 

Rin turned on the doctor, hell fire blazing in her eyes. “I said I want to fucking go home. Get the fuck out of my way…I'm getting out of this shit hole.”

 

Dr. Yamaoto didn't budge, “Rin…I need you to calm down before I let you walk out of here. You could have another attack if you don't…”

 

Rin snapped back, “Fuck the attacks…let me die. This is far worse then hell.”

 

Dr. Yamaoto scowled and recoiled her hand, “Rin…I understand that you're hurting…”

 

Rin reached out and smacked the doctor once clear across her face. “You don't know shit!” she pushed past the stunned doctor and paused at the door. “I'm not going to just stop these stupid visits, though I don't see what it's doing for me other then wasting my time and pissing me off! How dare you speak of my friends and their intentions without knowing them.”

 

Dr. Yamaoto touched the print on her face, her mouth dropped in shock. Obvious she forced herself to continue talking calmly, “I speak with experience. I know how people can be…inside and out. If your friends never meant to hurt you, then why after six months did no one notice? How did it go by in silence? Think about that Rin…”

 

Rin flipped the doctor off and slammed open the door. She stalked out of the office past Sesshoumaru and out the main door. Sesshoumaru's eyes widened as he turned to give the doctor a glare that could freeze fire then stormed out of the office after Rin.

 

Only after the main door slammed shut did Dr. Yamaoto crack a smile. Leaning against the doorframe to her room, she yawned, “She was a little harder to crack then the rest.”

 

A young girl passed by her, her brown hair cut short to her shoulders with large brown eyes, and paused to regarded the doctor with a sideways glance, “did you finally crack the girl, priestess?”

 

Dr. Yamaoto smiled and nodded curtly, “she's a tough one…tougher then any of Naraku's other…play toys…. Her constitution runs deep in her heart, and she still believes in the good of people. If what Naraku told me is correct, I don't know how she could be a ray of sunshine.”

 

The young girl cradled the files to her chest and sighed, “Sesshoumaru Tashio isn't going to take this lightly, doctor. You might want to consider moving the therapy along…a little faster.”

 

Dr. Yamaoto glowered at the young girl and took a step closer to her, “I know what I'm doing, you idiot. I've been doing this longer then you've been alive! I can't put Rin on any more tranquilizers then she already is on without rising suspicion. Getting her to take the Nembutal* is hard enough without rising suspicion. I think I gave that dog demon a little much credit; I thought for sure he would have caught on by now.” She scoffed and shook her head slowly, “ making that little bitch fall into panic attacks is harder…but if you push the right buttons…”

 

Brown eyes burned into the doctors with a slight glimmer of a vindictive glint, “don't you mean program, ma'am?”

 

Dr. Yamaoto slapped the files from the girls hands and turned on her heels, “Whatever…all she knows is when she feels stressed, she falls into a trance like state that is close enough to the symptoms of a panic attack to not be questioned. It's a damn good thing the girl actually already had one without my intervention. It makes my job easier.”

 

The girl bowed slightly, her eyes scanning the cluttered mess that now covered the floor. “I'm sorry Priestess, I didn't mean to question you…”

 

Dr. Yamaoto huffed and flung her hair over her shoulder, “you shouldn't. I am the wisest in my field…and if anyone can manipulate that little twit, it's me. Naraku wants her completely broken before we move onto the latter portion of her `treatment'.”

 

The girl shifted nervously and cleared her throat. Her voice hardly above a whisper, she asked, “are you going to admit her then…with the others?”

 

Dr. Yamaoto laughed evilly, her voice sending shivers up the girls back. “in time…I want her first to suffer. She dared to put Naraku behind bars…she dared to take a stand against how things work. Little whores like Rin Takisho need to learn that they cannot change the world. She should have accepted her place and shut that damned mouth of hers. Yes…she will suffer worse then the rest…then I will admit her and she will disappear…just like his other victims.”

 

Another girl leaned around the corner from the receptionists desk and met the doctors glare, “Priestess Yamaoto…you have a call on the line from the Tokyo prescient.”

 

Dr. Yamaoto paused and stared at the other girl, obvious annoyance playing on her face. “Who is it, Momiji?”

 

The other teen rolled her eyes and held the phone closer to the doctor; “she says she knows you from high school…and that you are in direct link with her oldest son. She needs some help with bail or something…some friends got her the secure line. I think she called herself Launia.”

 

~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~**~*~*~**~*~*

 

- Sorry it took so long to update this story. I've been working bit by bit…between being locked out of a house and having to kick in the door and working full time, it's great. :-X R&R!!!!

 

*- Nembutal is a barbiturate that basically slows the brains functioning and kind of works much like alcohol, while impairing a person's judgment and making them more susceptive to outside thoughts.

 

- all rights of Nickelback's song goes to them…not to me….though his voice is hot.