InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ The curse of the dragon ❯ Epilogue 2- taking over me ( Chapter 84 )

~<>~ Curse of the Dragon ~<>~

 

-Warning; monster chapter. ^__^;; I have to do this in two parts. So…yes, enjoy more or less four extra chapters. This is part 1.

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~<>~ Epilogue 2 ~<>~ Taking over me: part 1

 

 

 

Kagome stood outside the apartment, her brown eyes scanning the scene for any semblance of recognition. This wasn't where she grew up, that was true…but still, her best friend lived here now, with her future husband. Something should have popped out at her. Yet it was all the same; the faces of the condos, the tight streets, the busy highways, the bustling streets…and yet nothing distinctly Sango. Her heart hammered in her chest as she slowly ascended the stairs that led to the large condo. She heard the dog barking inside, betraying her early arrival. The blue front door swung open and a black haired woman she hardly recognized stood wide eyed, staring at Kagome. Taking a few steps forward, the woman stepped out from her home and dropped the magazine she had been holding.

 

“Kagome?”

 

Kagome hardly had the time to respond, let alone smile, before Sango embraced her in probably the tightest bear hug ever received. She lasted two seconds before she pleaded, “Sango…air! Need air!”

 

Sango pulled back, a small foolish smile etched on her face as she nearly jumped foot to foot. “You're three days early! What happened?” she quickly added, “not that I mind! Oh my god…you look…” looking over Kagome, Sango couldn't help the frown that fell on her lips. “You've lost a lot of weight!”

 

Kagome waved her hand and hugged her friend, tears pricking at the corner of her eyes at the happy, nonetheless slightly awkward reunion. “Yeah…swimming and college food, not a good mix. But look at you…wow!”

 

Sango shrugged and tossed her shoulder length brown hair over her shoulder. “Miroku thought blonde highlights were the way to go…I still want to hurt him for it. I tried dying it red to get them out…and that failed. So now I got just about every color…he likes it, I hate it…oh well. But seriously, come inside! Miroku's not home yet, he's still at the precinct. What are you doing here so early?”

 

Kagome followed her long missed friend into the condo and settled down at the table. The apartment was beautiful and spotless; the kitchen was a few different hues of earth tones, mostly browns and whites with some tans and coppers through the tiled floor. This was definitely Sango design by nature. The room looked as if someone had hired an interior decorator. Kagome stared up at Sango and beamed. “The place is beautiful. So tell me, how's school?”

 

Sango quickly got to work in the kitchen. “It's okay…I might have to call it early quits. Would you like some tea?”

 

Kagome was taken back and leaned against the island she had sat at. “Yes, please. Why would you have to call it early quits? Aren't you going to get your doctorate?”

 

Sango put on the pot of water before slowly looking at her friend. She gnawed at her lip for a moment before gritting her teeth. “Well…we found out about two weeks ago. I'm pregnant.”

 

Kagome squealed and just about jumped out of her chair. “That's great! Oh my god! Sango! You're going to have a baby! And you're getting married! That makes two things to celebrate over the next three weeks!”

 

Sango chuckled at her friend's sudden eagerness before pouring two cups of tea. “We think I'm about five weeks along. Needless to say, I took a desk job at the precinct and…well…yeah.” She shrugged then squeaked when Kagome rushed and embraced her.

 

Kagome let go of her friend and pulled back, looking over her face; a sudden nostalgia rushed into the room and nearly drowned the two girls. Staring into each other's eyes, the grasped for words to say. Kagome was daring and took the first shot. “Has it really been four years?”

 

The joy slid out of Sango's eyes and was replaced by an unreadable emotion. It wasn't anger but quite possibly a mix of contempt with something akin to sorrow. “Yes…yeah it has.”

 

Kagome felt the sudden change in tone and dropped back to her chair, near shamefully. It wasn't as if they hadn't tried to get together, it just never worked out in the right fashion. She had planned go to Tokyo two years prior…that hadn't worked out well. Then Sango had planned to come and visit soon there after…that hadn't worked out either. It was the wedding that finally got everything to work out right. But still…four years was a long time to go without seeing a best friend. The two stared into their cups for a long moment, neither jumping back into conversation. Finally Sango waved her hands in front of her. “I'm being stupid, I'm sorry. I am so happy you're here Kagome!”

 

Kagome returned the beam. “You caught me at just the right time. Winter break is four weeks long…just enough to get a good vacation away from that hell hole!”

 

Sango glanced outside into the frigid day and shivered once. “They say it might snow this weekend. I bet you haven't seen snow in forever!”

 

Kagome stirred her tea and nodded. “Not since I stayed at Rin's three holiday's ago.” she made a face and tapped her chin with her index finger. “That could be bad for those traveling. Who else is coming in this week?”

 

Sango counted a few times on her fingers then sighed. “Well…Ryen is taking the train to come up to help move stuff to the house over the week. Him, `Roku and…” she paused and cleared her throat. “Well…in any case, we'll handle that.” At the puzzled expression on Kagome's face, she elaborated; “me and Miroku bought a house. It's wonderful! I'll take you to see it over the week. The boys are helping us move in; it's out in Kyoto. It's a four bedroom right outside of the city. With Miroku finished with school and starting working full time with the N.P.A., we have the extra money. I'm extending the invitation to Kohaku to come with us, but he's doing okay.”

 

Kagome beamed. “That's wonderful Sango! Wow…it's so hard to picture you and Miroku finally settling down!”

 

Sango sighed and shook her head and laughed lightly. “I know. But we will be…in three and a half weeks and counting.”

 

Kagome sat back on the chair and smiled. “So how is Kohaku?”

 

“He's doing okay. He got into some trouble about five years ago, but you know that. He made it through rehab though and has been doing really well running his own mechanics' shop. Miroku is kind of the investor, but it was Kohaku who has really made the business boom. They are talking about expanding the shop to have the one here in Tokyo and opening another in Kyoto. He's so excited and I couldn't be more thrilled. I don't think he's going to move in with us, but that's okay. I'm not selling this condo so he can stay here and just pay rent.”

 

Kagome laughed, “You're going to charge your brother to live here?”

 

“You know how stubborn he is, Kagome. He's always trying to take care of me. So what I'll do is put the money he gives us for rent into a mutual fund for him, then it will be a part of his wedding gift.”

 

Kagome gasped and bolted upright. “Has he finally asked Yuka to marry him?”

 

Sango nodded, “he did.” She laughed again and shook her head. “Who would ever of seen my brother…as Goth as he is…marrying little pristine Yuka?”

 

Kagome shrugged. “Same with my brother and Eri.” She paused and tapped her chin, “what is it with our brothers and our friend?”

 

Sango laughed. “Tell me about it. I mean…at least Souta isn't rushing his relationship with Eri. They're all…cute…and what not. My brother…well…” she wrinkled her nose and then pinched the bridge with a sigh. “Yuka's due in a month.”

 

Kagome put a hand to her mouth, “oh my god! I didn't know! Man…if I know her family…”

 

Sango nodded. “She was staying with us for a while, but when Eri got her new place, she moved in there. The day she told her family, they kicked her out. The girl sobbed for weeks. But Kohaku made it easier for her…and they are doing amazing.”

 

Kagome smiled sadly. “I'm glad that your brother stuck with her through it. he did the right thing. And it's amazing to hear that they will be getting married. Good for him. You're right though, who ever would have guessed?” with an airy laugh, she rubbed her head, “do you know what ever happened to Houjo?”

 

Sango sipped her tea and sighed. “Yes…he's a lawyer. They say he might make district attorney…if he grows a pair. He's to afraid to really get into arguments with criminals in court.” She paused as Kagome tried hard not to laugh. Shaking her head, she spoke without thinking, “I think it has to do with how Yash handed him his ass back in high school for badgering you.” The air was thick for a moment, Kagome seemingly startled at actually hearing his name spoken, Sango berating herself for saying his name. His name had quickly become an obscenity to say after the New York accident. Neither party wanted to even speak of the other by name; they were simply `him' or `that bitch'.

 

Kagome cleared her throat, pressing down unwanted emotions that would rear their head with time and asked, trying to make light of the conversation, “So…who else will be here this week?”

 

Sango let out a silent breath of relief as Kagome switched the subject. “Sessh and Rin will be flying in from New York Thursday, when you were supposed to arrive.”

 

 

Kagome laughed and shook her head. “I talked to Rin last week. She's ecstatic to see you.”

 

Sango smiled. “Didn't you go to Hawaii with them last summer?”

 

Kagome paused then nodded, “yeah, we went to Hawaii this past summer and the summer before that we went on a cruise.” She placed her hand in front of her mouth then giggled. “I think it's always Rin's idea to bring me along…Sesshoumaru just stopped arguing. I try to stay out of their way. we have fun, regardless though.”

 

Standing slowly, Sango worked her way back to the sink. “That's great. I miss them so much!”

 

Kagome chewed on her lip for a moment before spilling out, “I'm not supposed to tell you this…but I can't help it…Rin's four months pregnant.”

 

Sango whirled around on her heels and slapped a hand over her mouth. “No!”

 

Kagome nodded enthusiastically, “yeah…she is. She wants to surprise you though…so don't say anything!”

 

Sango chuckled and cleaned her cup. “Wow…you're twenty five, Kagome, and still can't keep a secret?”

 

Kagome shrugged and leaned back into the chair. “Shoot me.” With something that resembled a rather sad laugh, she stared off out the kitchen window. “So…you're both pregnant, huh? That's great…the cousins will be able to play with each other at family gatherings.”

 

Sango tapped her polished nails on the counter before walking to sit next to her friend. Placing an arm around her shoulders, she shook Kagome once. “So, how about you? Any new interests in your life? Any hot roommates? A boyfriend that you're afraid to tell me about?””

 

Kagome looked somewhat blind-sided. “No, Sango…that hasn't changed. I'm not dating, you know that.” somewhere in the back of her mind, the voice she had grown to loathe ridiculed her, `and you haven't since him…and you won't. give it up!'

 

Sango felt a frown tug at her lips but chose not to voice her concerns. Instead, she hugged her friend again before walking to the refrigerator. “I wasn't planning on having a dinner tonight, but since you're here…”

 

Kagome nearly jumped to her feet. “No, Sango! Please, don't go out of your way for me! We can always go Wacdonalds!”

 

“Wacdonalds is hardly a meal worthy of your first night back in Japan.”

 

Kagome shook her head. “No, I've been here for a week. I spent time with mom and Ryen.”

 

Sango glanced up and smiled. “Oh. How is mother? And what about those two?”

 

Kagome nearly paled. “What about those two?” She leaned forward, her hands just shy from shaking, “please god don't tell me they want to have kids? Mom is way to old!”

 

Sango laughed, “No! I'm just wondering when he's going to pop the question.”

 

Kagome shrugged and leaned back. “They have been living together for nearly seven years…who knows. I know it's a law in the states where if you live with someone for seven years your basically married.”

 

Sango seemed to pause, slowly glancing back over her shoulder. “Has it really been eight years since we graduated?”

 

Nodding lethargically Kagome added, “It has…and that scares the hell out of me.”

 

Sango wrinkled her nose. “You ain't kidding!”

 

Sighing, Kagome stood from her spot. “I got a lot of luggage out in the rental car…I'm gonna bring it in.”

 

Sango shifted nervously before blurting out, “you know he's Miroku's best man…right?”

 

Kagome paused, her back going stiff and grimaced. Turning slowly, she forced herself to regard her friend. In as even of a voice as she could muster, she treaded, “I know that, Sango.”

 

Sango shook her head and touched her shoulder. It was like Kagome instantly relaxed, losing an inch to the height inflicted by her tensed muscles. “Kagome…look at yourself. You're freaking out over his name…what are you going to do when you have to see him?”

 

Kagome chewed on her lip and shook her head, honestly dumbfound. “I…don't know. I…wish I did…but I don't. I can tell you one thing…much like at Rin's wedding, our problems won't interfere with your big day.”

 

Sango looked slightly aghast. “Kagome…he's going to be staying here for the next three weeks!”

 

Kagome whirled around so fast, she had to grab the wall from falling over. “W…What? Why?” She had built herself up the courage to come out to Tokyo…to see her family and friends and attend her best friends wedding under the presumption she would have to spend one full day and maybe a few hours here and there in his presence. If he was staying at the same place as her for three weeks…. She shook her head once, trying to get Sango's words to filter through her mind. `Three weeks…no, this can't be happening!' This was completely unacceptable!

 

Sango studied her friend's face then slowly crossed her arms. “Do you still have feelings for him, Kagome?”

 

Kagome rolled her eyes, willing down the tears of frustration building in her eyes. “No! It's been four years, Sango! I'm not some pathetic chick who's holding onto something for the thought.”

 

Sango embraced her friend and muttered, “It's not pathetic to still be in love, Kagome. It's pathetic to know you're in love and do nothing about it.”

 

Kagome pulled back and sniffed once. Turning around, she refused to listen to Sango badger her about her love life. “I'm getting…”

 

“He's dating a girl, Kagome.”

 

And her heart dropped to her feet. She managed to keep herself collected enough to walk to the door. Pausing without turning around, she asked, “Is he happy?”

 

Sango shifted her weight. “He said he might ask her to marry him.”

 

Closing her eyes, Kagome muttered, “then I wish him all the world. Excuse me.”

 

Walking outside, Kagome climbed into the rental car. Shutting the door behind her, she simply stared off for a while. Kagome rested her head against the steering wheel as the tears once again began to flow. `I knew he would have moved on…he isn't the kind of guy to wait around for noting. But it still…god it hurts! It hurts so bad!' Shaking her head, she wrapped her arms around her body and leaned back. She closed her eyes, willing the tears to stop. `I let him go…damnit Kagome, remember that! I let him go and therefore have no claim to him.' She still couldn't deny the part of her mind that wanted to find this supposed girlfriend and rip her hair out. Yet the pain that she saw in his eyes over that week in New York so many moons ago, the raw agony that they had thrust themselves into, wading in so deep that they could no longer see…if he found his way out of that marsh, then the gods had blessed him. She was still in over her head…not that she would ever admit that though. She had thought that it would hurt, tear her apart, for months after leaving him; sleepless nights, tossing and turning, waking up looking for his comfort, looking for his arm…that was what she expected to be facing for a few months. Yet it was four years later, and at night she knew…she knew she still called out for him, to him…searching endlessly in barely notable sleep for her heart, for that missing piece of her soul. Now…now that piece was gone, in the arms of another, and it was her fault. She was ready to deal with that…she was, but her heart wasn't.

 

Sango tapped gently on the window, feeling awful. “Kagome, I'm sorry! I shouldn't have….”

 

Kagome shook her head and slowly got out of the car. She grabbed her luggage and moved towards Sango's house with it. Her face was a mask of stoic intent. Her eyes seemed nearly lifeless; her face lost its radiance in a matter of seconds, with the utterance of a single name. InuYasha. “What, told me the truth? No…I needed to hear it.”

 

Sango shrugged, somewhat relieved that Kagome hadn't exploded…yet she knew the storm was brewing, and it was going to get ugly. The tides weren't going to be so friendly this time around and Sango knew she would be blessed if world war three did not break out in her living room. Throwing caution into the wind, she had to try to get through this erected barrier; she had to see what Kagome was really thinking. “Good, I'm glad that you see the truth being that way. Because it's not as though you still love him or anything.” She could just about see every muscle in Kagome's back tense and she hated herself for pushing. She had always pushed Kagome when it came to the hanyou. She had pushed her in high school to realize just how the couple were systematically destroying each other…she had tried to push them to make decisions about each other, about being together, about fights, about stupid shit that they should never of fought over. She had tried to get them to truly ration their relationship in ideal terminology. She had failed. For the longest time, Sango had felt responsible for the break. She had felt that she had pushed to hard, or not enough…she had felt utterly useless and that ate away at her more then anything else. That's why she had just shy of linked herself to InuYasha. She was his partner on the force and had spent hours and hours trying to comfort the heartache that he lived with. Nothing had ever worked. Now she saw the exact imprints that had tormented InuYasha engraved on Kagome's face. She looked hopeless, lost…lonely, desperate. She needed to admit the truth to herself…it would be the only way to move on. Crossing her arms, Sango pushed the girl once more. “For that matter, it was you who let him go…so there isn't really a claim on him for you, now is there? I'm just happy that he's happy.”

 

Kagome clenched her jaw, refusing to answer. Entering the house, Kagome silently found the way to her bedroom.

 

~*~*~*~**~*~**~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*

 

 

Rin sat on the edge of Sango' couch, braiding Kagome's hair. Said girl rested with her head in Rin's lap, her eyes focused blurrily on the ceiling. “You know…I was always jealous of how straight your hair is, Kagome. My hair takes so much conditioner and spray to get it flat. You have always had…perfect hair.”

 

Kagome blinked herself back to awareness and smiled up at the girl. “Thank you Rin. I'd offer it to you but I see you already got rid of yours.”

 

Rin laughed, gently touching her chin length cut. “Yeah, well…I thought it was cute.”

 

Sango looked up from where she was lying on the floor and tugged on Rin's pant leg. “I love it! I think it's sexy!” she growled at the girl and swung a hand at her playfully.

 

Rin purred and kicked gently at Sango, “Oh baby! Not to loud or you might alert the hubby!”

 

Kagome laughed and brought up her hand to rub Rin's extended stomach. “Or confuse the poor baby.”

 

Rin tied the end of Kagome's braid with a hair band then growled when Kagome at up and found it all simply fell out of the up-do. “Damnit, woman…can' t your hair hold any style?”

 

Kagome shrugged, “told you I hated it. I can never get it to do anything.”

 

The front door open and closed and a sudden silence cut into the room like a knife through butter. Rin shot to her feet and darted to the doorway of the living room, lunging at the figure next to her husband. “Yash!” And the world stopped turning.

 

InuYasha caught the girl on his hip then swung her around once. He stared at her for a moment then glowered at his brother, “do you not know how to feed your mate? Shit Sesshoumaru, she's skin and bones!” his eyes bore into Rin's as he put her back to her feet. “and you should not be jumping around like that when your this far along. I know your mates a dumb ass but come on Rin!”

 

Rin laughed and kissed his cheek, tossing away his comments with the roll of her eyes. “It's been to long!”

 

InuYasha smiled then tentatively put a hand on her stomach. “So…a…”

 

Rin blanched and screamed over him, “I don't want to know, don't tell me!” Seeing InuYasha's nearly dumb struck expression, she added in a much more collected voice, “I'm trying to not let anyone spoil the surprise. A baby is a baby right…all that matters is it's healthy. Ten fingers and ten toes, and if I'm lucky, those simply adorable kawaii ears!” reaching up, she tweaked InuYasha's left ear.

 

Sesshoumaru lowered the magazine from his face and growled back, “Not if I have anything to say about it.”

 

InuYasha flipped his brother off, flicked his ear out of Rin's grasp then laughed. With a smile, he hugged her and nodded. “You're absolutely right, it has been to long. You need to bring asshole around more often so I can poke fun at the chubby bastard!”

 

Sesshoumaru put down the magazine and took his glasses off, placing them on top of the articles. “Oi! This Sesshoumaru is not chubby!”

 

InuYasha turned to regard his brother, “Okay…fine, you're not chubby. You're a fat ass.”

 

Sesshoumaru's face fell, blanching for a quick moment. A snarl replaced the dumbstruck stare in a matter of seconds. “Then consider this; this fat ass is going to kick your sorry ass back to feudal Japan, baka!”

 

InuYasha broke into a smile, “any time of the week, bastard, just bring it. I could use some target practice!” Shaking his head, he laughed. “You know…your kids gonna be a hanyou…you ready for that? Could you raise a hanyou, you bastard?”

 

Sesshoumaru narrowed his eyes. He had grown another two inches, much to the disdain of his brother, and now could seriously tower over InuYasha without much effort, which he was in the process of doing. “The child will be just that…my child, and I will love them regardless.”

 

InuYasha shrugged and shoved his brother's shoulder, pushing him a few steps back. “Wish you could have seen it like that when I was little.”

 

“You, my dear brother, were a pest on top of that.”

 

InuYasha reached into his pocket. “Oh, hey Sessh…I got something for you.” Pulling out his hand, he flipped the man off. With a laugh, he hugged his brother, a man who he hadn't seen in over two years.

 

Sesshoumaru snorted, placing one hand on his brother's back for an awkward moment before he turned to his teary eyed mate. “You should be sitting down, Rin.”

 

InuYasha progressed a foot into the living room then stopped dead. Though the wall was blocking her…and he had been warned by just abut everyone under the sun…when he caught her scent, he felt as if someone had punched him in the stomach. His face must have twitched because Rin's hand was instantly rubbing his arm, a concerned look on her face. He forced himself to smile and rub her hand, telling her that he was okay. “Listen to your mate Rin. He might be a bastard but he ain't stupid. Go sit, I'll be fine.” The last part was a mere whisper.

 

Sango stood up from the floor and hugged her friend. “You're looking good Yash!”

 

InuYasha laughed and hugged his old partner. “Sango…we miss you at the precinct!”

 

Sango laughed and poked his stomach, “You miss me always bringing in food! You've lost weight. Like what…five pounds?”

 

InuYasha made a face then nodded, “yeah…that too. How can you just leave us hungry like that, Sango…don't you have a heart?”

 

Sango shoved his shoulder then hugged him back. “Gods, you're so helpless, I swear!”

 

InuYasha smirked and looked her over. “Not bad…I told Miroku you were going to kill him for…” He raised an eyebrow, suddenly aware of the company in the room. “…Have you told anyone?”

 

Sango nodded slowly, “yeah, it's not a secret. And no, I'm not going to kill Miroku. Had it been two months ago, he'd be dead. I swear…anything that keeps me from fitting into my wedding dress will die!”

 

InuYasha laughed nervously then took a deep breath. Sango sidestepped and InuYasha nearly choked on air. Kagome sat on the couch ahead of him, her eyes cast to the floor, obviously trying hard not to look at him. The sunlight danced through the window and shined off her black hair, her brown eyes seemed somewhat glazed over…possibly in unshed tears. The girl of his dreams…the girl who haunted his memory…the girl who had ripped his heart from his chest and stole it away with her to a place he could never reach; she was in front of him and he was flabbergasted. How was it that she was more beautiful then he could remember? He swallowed hard again and struggled to find his voice. Instantly his hands were shoved into his pockets, his eyes anywhere but on her. “H…hey.”

 

Kagome stood from the couch, her eyes avoiding leaving the floor. Looking him in the eyes would mean total self-annihilation. Simply being in his presence was like standing in a flood of memories. Memories that she wished she would never remember…memories that hurt to much to remember; being in his arms laughing, being happy…being loved. Many nights of the late she had woken up in a cold sweat calling out his name in fear…fear of something she couldn't see…and her hero was nowhere. `He's not mine anymore…he's dating…he's…' With the most bravado she had conquered since she had arrived, she lifted her eyes and nearly gaped, `…miserable?' His golden eyes told the story of his soul, the torment he felt, the cold that swirled through his brain like a fog. For a moment, as their souls clashed, she forgot how to speak.

 

InuYasha had never had more conflicting emotions as he did at that moment. He wanted to yell at her, to scream at her for nearly destroying him…he wanted to dig into her and rip out the parts of him she had stolen away to California. A larger part though, no matter how much he wanted to deny it, wanted to grab her, to hug her, to get her in his arms again and this time never let go. Ryen had been right…letting go of Kagome, allowing her to walk out of his life was the worst mistake in the history of mankind. And it was one he was still paying for. His mouth went dry as she took a step towards him. Looking her over for the second time, he felt his lips dip into a frown. The light receded and her face was no longer basked by the golden rays. The hollows of her cheeks captured shadows; the bags under her eyes exploded in dark contrast…she looked like she hadn't eaten anything healthy in months, nor slept anything more then three or four hazy hours. “You look like shit.” Damn. What he meant to say was `why are you losing weight, don't you know how beautiful you are?'

 

Kagome recoiled a step then rolled her eyes, seemingly knocked out of whatever daze she had induced herself into. Folding her arms, she adverted her eyes. “Whatever…I see you're still the same asshole you were.”

 

InuYasha rubbed his head, refusing to start. He was going to be twenty-six in a week, he wasn't going to act like the seventeen year old version of himself. Taking a deep breath for something he knew he was going to regret later, he stepped forward and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into a very quick, somewhat disjoined hug.

 

Kagome was shocked to say the least. Yet as she found herself cradled tightly against his chest, she realized there was no better place for her to be. Being this close to him made the memories flow faster…blind-sided her to things she never had wanted to remember. From the first I love you to the hardest conversation she ever had…she remembered it all.

 

InuYasha's eyes opened with her threat then he smiled. Gently kissing her on the forehead, he closed his eyes. “I love you too, Kagome.”

 

Then there were the other times…the other conversations that hurt more to think back to. The empty promises built up like pyres along the horizon of her mind.

 

“Kagome, the ring I told you about, that my father gave my mother…it was a promise ring. On it was a promise of love and commitment…much like how my father's father promised his wife with the same crystal. The ring itself was a object that stood for the love that they had for each other, and for my father, it was an unspoken promise to marry my mother after things cleared up with Launia and Diegosan…after he put them behind bars.”

 

“I…I'm not saying I want to get married tomorrow…or five years from now. I'm not even saying we have to! What I am saying is that I promise on my dying breath that I love you…and that I want to be with you. I'm saying that I promise that no matter how much of a baka I may seem like, I always have you in my heart and in my mind. You're all I think about Kagome, and when I'm not with you, I'm miserable. I know the others doubt our relationship…that Rin and Sango see me as a walking hormone…but it's nothing like that. If we never…” he stopped himself from the rant he was entering and took a deep breath. “I love you and if you would…if you're willing to wear it…I want you to have this.”

 

“And this isn't a promise…it's a vow…that you own my heart and that I'll never hurt you again, and that when you're ready, this ring will be replaced with one that will see out our future.”

 

The warmth left her nearly as fast as it had been next to her. InuYasha pulled back and gave her a small sad smile, nearly the same memories cutting a bloody path through his heart. Both stared on in commiseration.

 

Kagome smiled faintly, feeling rather nauseous, then turned to Rin and muttered, “i…got to call…work. I'll be back.” She turned and ran up the steps like a bullet.

 

Sango opened her mouth but Rin was already on Kagome's tail. InuYasha watched the girl run off, the girl who had every day had longed for, had prayed would some day show up on his door step and tell him she wanted him again…and for the first time in four years, felt a small glimmer of hope spark. `Why would she get distraught? It's as if…as if…' He dared not to think it…at least he tried not to. The other half of his mind finished the thought. `As if she still cared.'

 

Sango just about read his mind. She wasn't going to let the vulture swoop in and confuse Kagome more. It was better to make them hash it out. Stepping on once more, Sango took her line on the offensive. She knew that she would be burned for this once the truth got out, but she couldn't watch InuYasha peruse Kagome hopelessly, when Kagome herself wasn't sure of what she wanted. It wouldn't be fair to the hanyou. “Don't think it Yash…I know it's hard to see her…but you got to know something.”

 

InuYasha slowly turned his head to stare at Sango. Why did his body feel so sluggish? “Unless it's you telling me you know where my gauged out heart is, I really don't give a rats ass.”

 

Sango grabbed InuYasha's hands and stared him in the eyes. “I love you like a brother, so you have to understand that when I tell you this, it's not for any other purpose then just so you don't get your hopes up. Kagome's dating a guy back home…she's living with him.”

 

InuYasha tried not to acknowledge the news outside…but he couldn't help it. With a loud curse, he turned and slammed his hand into the wood of the doorframe and stormed out.

 

Sango cringed as the front door slammed shut, tears pricking in the corners of her eyes. Glancing at the molding to her family room, she cursed loudly. The wood had splintered and the pain nearly destroyed. `And thus beings the war.'

 

“You should not lie, Sango…didn't anyone ever tell you that? Should I be to guess you told Kagome the same of him?”

 

Sango whirled around to face Sesshoumaru, who was casually leaning against the stair banister, an onlooker of the whole event. “Look, you don't understand. You haven't had to see InuYasha every day since Kagome walked out on him. He would never be able to get over her a second time, so why allow them the chance? If they stay away from each other to start, they can never disappoint.” Her unspoken words screamed louder; `or they can work this out and be back together before the wedding…just a thought.'

 

Sesshoumaru folded his arms; “you're playing God with flawed logic.”

 

Sango mimicked his stance. “Care to tell me how?”

 

“You assume that you know what is best for them. Maybe what they need is each other to heal, regardless that they are the ones who carved into each other. Not to mention, they never got over each other…they are still in love, that much is obvious.”

 

Sango shook her head and sighed deeply. “I know they are…and that's why I'm doing this. I pray they'll get over each other.”

 

Sesshoumaru caught Sango's hand in his and stared hard into her eyes. “Do not interfere, Sango. They have both been miserable! If they can find happiness…”

 

Sango shook her head. “No, they won't. If they think they can pursue the other, they will do so until they once again destroy the other. Neither one knows that they really want Sesshoumaru…and maybe some time in each other's presence will help determine that fact. But if they think the other is waiting, then they will rush and only hurt each other again.”

 

Sesshoumaru fought down the urge to smack the girl. Instead, her reached out and grabbed Sango's hand. “After ten years you are still being a bitch. Stop interfering or I'll get involved…and you will not like the results.”

 

Sango pulled her hand from his and stormed off. Sesshoumaru rolled his eyes then sat down on the couch and turned on the television. `I'm in a house full of bakas…it's going to be the death of me, I swear it to the Kami's. `

 

~*~~*~~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~

 

Kagome stood numbly while staring at herself in the mauve dress. The material barely clung to her curves and was just shy of slipping off her shoulders. When she had fit into it six months ago at home, it had been amazingly form fitting; beautiful and perfect…now she looked a mess. Rin tapped her mouth nervously as she circled the girl. “In the last six months, just how much weight did you lose?”

 

Kagome looked away, “I was sick and I'm really active in swimming.”

 

Rin plopped down in front of Kagome and propped her chin up on her hands. “How much, Kagome?”

 

Kagome shrugged nonchalantly, fiddling with the straps of her bra, “maybe twenty pounds. I tell you, swimming is amazing at taking off pounds.”

 

Sango breezed into the room and nearly screamed. “Kagome! My god…you need to get that altered! Oh my god…” Circling the girl, she frowned. “You're skin and bones, Kagome…honest. How much do you weigh?”

 

Rin raised an eyebrow, “question of the hour, apparently.”

 

Kagome threw up her hands and stepped off the block. “Am I done being on display? Can I have some space, please? Gods, you guys are horrible! Yes, I lost a little weight…yeah, I might look overly skinny…but I'm fine! I eat, I function, I'm active…I am okay!”

 

Sango narrowed her eyes, “and I'm the queen of England. Come on, Kagome…you aren't okay. You weight like what, all of ninety pounds?”

 

Kagome began peeling off the dress. “No…maybe…I don't know. I haven't weighted myself in a while. Look…just…leave it alone. I'm fine…and I don't have to keep saying that, at least I shouldn't have to!”

 

The two others exchanged worried glanced but relented and moved on in conversation. “So…Kagome,” Rin started as she slipped into her dress. “I hear there are some good looking cops at Sango's work. Maybe that's something we should go scope out.”

 

Kagome pulled on her jeans and looked over her shoulder at the others. “Yeah, that's a great idea. First off, I think your husband would really appreciate that one. Then, I can borrow one of those `good looking' cop's gun and shoot myself for dating a guy who works with Yash. Nothing like having `whore' stamped onto my forehead.”

 

Sango shifted her weight on her heels nervously as silence claimed the group. “Kagome…” She sighed, knowing she was going to hate herself in the morning…or that Kagome was going to hate her. Either way, it wasn't going to be pleasant. “Did…can…can I ask you a question that you'll answer truthfully?”

 

Kagome cracked her neck, rolled her eyes then swatted her hand. “You will eventually so why not now. What can you possibly want to know?”

 

“Are you still in love with InuYasha?” and for the second time that week, the world stood still, awaiting an answer.

 

Kagome closed her eyes, knowing that would be the question. It was one she asked herself a hundred ties a day and always cried at the answer to. “I refuse to answer that.”

 

Rin made a face. “Why?”

 

Kagome pulled on her shirt, then tugged it back to her shoulder as the collar slipped down her arm. “Because. I said so, how's that for an answer?”

 

Sango rubbed her eyes and sighed. “Let it go Rin…it's obvious she doesn't want to answer.”

 

Kagome grimaced, the feeling of her skin peeling off her face itching at her body. Biting back the urge to claw at her head, pull out her hair and yell at the nosey girls, she chose the higher route. Truth. “Because I don't know. Look, you two think it' so cut and dry. It's not. I'm so happy for the both of you, but you both fuckin' lucked out. You got these great guys who are so honest and up front about their feelings that there is little room for any question. Yash…he's so much more complicated. He wants one thing and does another, he means one thing and says another. There's only so much of that in which a person can take. I did what I could…I took what I could. Did I ever stop loving him? No. Could I tolerate it any longer? No. Do I know what I want?” tears brimmed in her eye as she dropped her head into her hands and shook her head before falling into a fit of sobs. “I don't want to hurt anymore.”

 

There was little more to say.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*

 

A week came and went like a tortoise in a race with a hare. The more Kagome stared at the clock trying to keep herself preoccupied, the slower it went. She had tried to avoid InuYasha at all costs…and that had been nearly impossible. The scalding looks she got from him were enough to dissuade her from trying to talk to him and when he would touch her, accidentally of course, he would pull back as if burnt and flash her some of the nastiest glowers known to man. Tonight was no different. She was standing in the kitchen, staring at the clock, supposedly getting a glass of water, or more to the point, she was avoiding sitting with him at the dinner table. She was going on a ten-minute water break when he pushed into the kitchen, his eyes cast dead ahead. He seemed honestly shocked she was still there. Hateful amber eyes dragged over her body and zoned on her face.

 

“I figured you would ran away by now up to your room…or England…whatever is easier, since apparently it's not that hard to up and move across country…oh sorry…the world.” He breezed around her, gritting his teeth as her scent spiked.

 

Kagome winced, but chose to stick out her chin instead of cry. She was not going to let him break her, not with word, not with actions. If she gave in now, the next two weeks would be hell. “I try not to run, but sometimes you can't help it. When something gets so stifling that you'd rather shoot yourself then face it in the morning, there's little choice.”

 

That hit deep. InuYasha closed his eyes, leaning over the counter that held the desert he had been sent in to retrieve. `Bunch of pricks, the lot of them are. They knew she was in here. Bastards.' Fisting one hand, he ground out, “that's rich, Princess…real rich.”

 

Kagome felt her heart lurch, the feeling of despair suddenly drowning her once more. Fingering the countertop, she traced the lines of marble. “What do you know anyway? You have your friends here…you have family.”

 

InuYasha shrugged as nonchalantly as a heartbroken man could. “That's because I didn't run from them. I know you ran halfway around the world instead of facing problems, but that shit doesn't bother me anymore. You're afraid of everything so escaping from it instead of confronting is so much better.”

 

Kagome closed her eyes and willed herself sane. Tears were pulling at her eyes and she was sick to death of crying over this man. Somehow, all the years away had made him into some type of god in her book. But now, standing in his presence, he was so much less then the legend her mind had achieved. “Whatever, Yash…whatever.”

 

InuYasha growled as she tried to walk past him to get away. “See…you're running.”

 

Kagome paused and took a deep breath, her entire body nearly bursting from her skin. “What should it matter to you? You're happy…I'm miserable…either way, you win.”

 

InuYasha snapped his head like a whip. He turned on her and stared hard at her, causing the girl to backpedaled away from him. “Oh, I'm so fucking happy Kagome, don't you see all the joy just…bursting…from my inner self.” He slowly started backing her up into the corner of the kitchen, his eyes burning into hers. “Tell me, bitch, jut what the fuck do I have going on in my life to be happy about? I haven't…” He caught himself before saying something he knew he wouldn't potentially regret admitting and paused, looking to the side as he tried to collect himself.

 

Kagome scoffed and tried to move around him from her corner. He blocked her. “Look…I'm happy for you and the little misses…but I really am not comfortable with this….” she gestured at the little space she had left between her and the wall and the hanyou. She swallowed hard and backed up completely against the wall.

 

InuYasha held up a hand and cocked an eyebrow. He looked genuinely confused…under all the anger. “What the fuck are you blabbering about, bitch? What fucking little miss? You got your head all fucked up?”

 

Kagome shoved her hands into her sweatshirt pockets, refusing to look up at him. “You know…the girl you're almost engaged to. But it's cool…honest…I'm…happy …for you.”

 

InuYasha slammed one hand onto the wall when she tried to slip by, trapping her between his chest and the hard plaster. “What girl? What fucking girl are you talking about?” He made a face and looked her over, sniffing in lightly. “You don't smell like cock…so should I guess that you keep this new boy toy of yours on a leash?”

 

Kagome blinked. “Boy toy? I'm not dating…”

 

InuYasha brought his face closer to hers. “Don't feed me your shit, Kagome. I know your living with some guy back home. That's cool and all…but does he know you're a backstabbing maniacal bitch?”

 

Kagome reached up to slap him, but he moved faster and caught her hand. “Don't…princess. I'll tell you this right now; I'm not your lover, I ain't your boy toy, and I sure as hell ain't your friend. You hit me and I will hit you back.” His growls punctuated his threats.

 

Kagome swallowed hard and fought down tears. “I am not seeing anyone. I haven't dated at all. Period. I live by myself in a shitty little apartment. Are you happy?”

 

InuYasha stared her in the eye, daring her to lie. “Why would Sango tell me you were dating someone?”

 

Kagome opened her mouth to snap at whatever she had expected the hanyou to spew then stopped. “Sango said that?”

 

InuYasha nodded. “Yeah…why…you gonna tell me my friend lied to me?”

 

Kagome leaned back against the wall, letting her palms rest on the surface. She laughed dryly and shook her head. “And…she told me you were dating…almost engaged to some girl.”

 

InuYasha's eyes lit up in rage. He wasn't so sure why he was angry; if anything, he should be happy that Sango made up the story. But why…why would she lie? Worse more, why did he care? “I am not dating…engaged…or whatever you call it. I'm…” He stopped talking and looked down, their bodies so close together and it was beginning to screw up his senses. “I'm single.”

 

Kagome didn't mean to gasp, it just kind of happened. A sudden anger began to swell in her. “I…why would Sango lie?”

 

InuYasha wanted to ask Sango himself with a few choice words added in but chose to refrain. Tapping his hands on the wall twice, he suddenly became very aware of just how close he was to the girl of his dreams. Lifting his face, he noticed she seemed just as flushed. He carefully brought one hand to her face and swept a piece of her hair from her face. “Why are you losing so much weight?”

 

Kagome's head jerked up. “I…I didn't mean to. I really haven't been able to eat so well…and I've been busy.”

 

He moved closer, if that was at all possible and looked her over slowly, his eyes taking her in, in a nonjudgmental view. “When we were at Rin's wedding…and you threw up in the bathroom…” He caught her chin in his hand and held her so she couldn't look away. “Tell me that you aren't bulimic.”

 

 

Kagome pressed her lips together then snorted on laughed. Why she was laughing instead of crying, she wasn't sure. “No! Nothing like that! Honestly, I never really have the time to eat and I was sick for a while.”

 

InuYasha tilted his head forward and laughed lightly. “Thank god.” He hadn't meant to say that out loud. His eyes widened, as did hers. Raising his face, he studied her for a moment. “I didn't mean it…when I said you look like shit…you're still…”

 

Kagome pressed her hand against his mouth. “Please…for my sanity, just, don't say anything you don't mean. Don't say anything we'll regret later.”

 

InuYasha took her hand in his, his eyes trying to read through the wall she had built around herself. Like an impenetrable fortress, he tried to scale the walls. “Kagome…I was pissed at you…I hated myself and a part of me hated you just as much. But I have never…ever…regretted anything we did together. I regret how I fucked it all up…but I never regret meeting you…or falling in love with you.”

 

Kagome's eyes watered as she slowly looked away. She couldn't look at him, not now…now like this. Everything was swirling around her. It was like staring at the one dream you had convinced yourself would never come true, as it became reality. She wanted to shake herself awake. “Yash…”

 

InuYasha traced her jaw with two fingers. “Kagome…I…” with a move of courage he hadn't displayed in a long time, he lowered his face towards hers, intent on kissing those lips at least once more.

 

The door to the room swung open and the two jumped apart like school age children. “What the hell is keeping you with the ring dings, baka?” Sticking his head into the door, the Youkai paused. Ryen studied both faces of the two blushing residents then slowly shook his head. “We were wondering what was going on…but damn, don't let me interrupt. Please…carry on solider!” He smiled widely, and walked back into the dining room whistling.

 

InuYasha ran a hand through his hair. The situation dawned on his as he slowly glanced down at the girl pinned to the wall. He moved back a step and averted his eyes. Though his body language was languid, his eyes were ice cold and somewhat frantic. “This is foolish…we shouldn't…”

 

Kagome nodded while trying to catch her breath. She studied her ex lover's face, realizing as he did that what had nearly happened would have been her undoing. “You're right…” Placing both hands on his shoulders, she pushed the hanyou away from her and ran out of the kitchen.

 

InuYasha studied the spot where Kagome had been moments before and sighed. With a groan, he pushed off the wall and ran a hand over his face. “What the fucking hell just happened?”

 

“That's what I'd love to know.”

 

Turning, InuYasha found himself face to face with probably one of his most illusive friends. “Miro!” He took a step forward and clasped his hands with the man he had yet to see. “When did you get back from school?”

 

Miroku shook his hand vigorously then gave him a devil's grin. “Well, I got back about three hours ago. Remember that we talked? Then…we ate dinner but you were so spaced out, something tells me that you don't remember shit.” He hooked a thumb in the general direction of Kagome's exit. “And I'll take a bigger guess and say that she's the reason behind the madness?”

 

InuYasha sighed and laced his hands into his silver locks. “I don't know what to do anymore Miro'.”

 

Miroku smiled softly and placed his hand on his friend's shoulder. “InuYasha, you spent all last month trying to convince me of just how much you loathe that girl. Do you remember what I told you?”

 

InuYasha grunted and crossed his arms. “What of it?”

 

Miroku's smile widened. “I told you that if you saw her again for more then a week, you'd be all over her. Tell me I was wrong…go ahead, I dare you.”

 

InuYasha cursed under his breath and shoved Miroku's hand off his shoulder. “Oi! I'm not all over her.”

 

“Oh, so were you going to try to inspect her dinner then…her tongue maybe? Just what were you planning on doing with your lips so intimately close to hers?”

 

InuYasha tried not to turn red…he tried. But he failed miserably. “No! I did not kiss her, Miroku. And besides, like she said, it would have been a stupid mistake if I had. So let's just leave it at that, shall we?”

Miroku shrugged and put his hands into his pockets. “So…today you're saved. What about tomorrow…or the day after? How long is it going to take until you break down and kiss her? Until your body demands for you to be next to her?” he chuckled softly at the flustered expression across the man's face. “Don't worry, InuYasha. If I had been away from Sango for so long…”

 

“Don't compare me and Kagome to you and Sango. It's like apples and oranges. We're so different, Miroku! You two…aren't. Besides,” he added in a rather griping tone, “Sango didn't leave you.”

 

Miroku nodded languidly. “I guess you have a point.” Turning, the man paused. “But…remember, InuYasha…love is love. If your heart is telling you to be with someone…then you should be with them. If you know you want to be with them…maybe it's worth swallowing your pride, admit you both were wrong and start fresh. God knows you and Kagome are meant to be, InuYasha, regardless of what anyone else says. It's just up to you two hard headed bakas to see past trivialities.”

 

InuYasha stood with the box of ring dings in his hand, his mouth slightly agape. As the door swung shut to the kitchen, InuYasha inhaled sharply. `Can we go back to how we were?' shaking his head, he gripped the box tighter. `No…we don't want that. It's what she left me for. Can I make it right? Can we make it right?' he was afraid to answer that.

 

 

 

~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~**~*~~*~*~*~*~**~~

 

For another four days, InuYasha and Kagome went to extravagant extents to avoid each other. It wasn't out of anger or hate…the air was not contemptuous when the two were together, it was just awkward. Ryen had cornered both parties numerous times trying to figure out just what the hell was going on, but neither one was willing to divulge anything. The wedding was drawing near and both individuals had hatched out their issues with Sango over her lies. They understood their friend had been trying to protect them but she also now understood just why she wasn't to interfere. Not that there was something to interfere with, InuYasha had reiterated to Sango time after time. he knew his friends were only looking out for his mental well-being but he couldn't set himself up to be hurt again, he couldn't stand to think of just how much it was going to hurt to see Kagome get back on that plane. He couldn't stand the thought of losing her again. Staring into the dark ominous sky, he sighed. `But when did I ever have her? Simply because she sleeps three doors down does not entitle her to me…it does not bring her back into my life. No…she's not back in my life.' But she was…and he knew it deep down. His thoughts were always pertaining to her; her whereabouts, her daily activities, who she was with, what she was doing, and how she looked when the sun hit her face. Every thought that had gone through his mind at the office had something to do with the raven beauty who he had let slip from his fingers like a grain of sand. She was a distraction, he had tried to convince himself at one point, and he would be glad when she was gone. That thought had lasted about a minute before he had to get a cup of coffee and an Excedrin. `She's going to be the death of me.'

 

InuYasha pulled into the driveway on his cycle, and grimaced as the sky rumbled. He parked the bike and removed his helmet before making a dash to the front door. Pushing into the house, the darkened rooms were illuminated by the sparks of lightning. “Who the fuck has ever heard of a thunderstorm in December? What the hell?”

 

InuYasha sighed and walked through the house, kicking off his shoes as he went. Rounding into the living room, he sighed and stretched. The day on the street doing patrol had been long and wearisome. He had rotated between doing patrol and office work, covering for Ryen while and Miroku moved more items into the house. Reaching the steps and paused, the lightning once again illuminating the room and the figure sitting in the window. Somehow he hadn't sensed her, hadn't known she was that close. That threw him off; how had he missed her scent…and the scent of commiseration that rolled off her in tidal waves. It was like her soul was pushing against his, demanding him to submit and drown in the sorrow that consumed her. Her shoulders were slumped, her head hanging in the air as how bricks shouldn't, each movement trying to drag her head to her knees, and she was barely holding it up. Crossing his arms, he leaned against the banister and studied the raven black hair that covered the body like a blanket. He watched her jump with every clap of thunder, shudder against the sparks of light. `That's right…she hates storms.' But there was more to it. Her back was heaving with there was no light, no sound…the sound that slipped from her body told the story; she was crying. He watched her for a moment, trying not to be pulled back to that dark place where life was horrid and desolate, a place where life was a wasteland. But he realized, with her soft sobs, that life was a wasteland, and there was no escaping that truth. By the gods, he hated that. With a sigh, he grabbed the blue quilt off the edge of the couch and approached the figure.

 

Kagome sat oblivious to the world, watching the storm breeze by, as the only rain that fell was that from her eyes. There were hardly ever storms in December, and she wasn't happy that one reared its head now. She had many unhappy nights in California due to these kinds of storms. Wrapping her arms around her knees, as she fought with her tears, she buried her head in her knees. She wept for the lost years, she wept for her lost friends, and she wept for her life, for the lack-there-of a life. She was barely aware of InuYasha's presence until the blanket touched her shoulders. She closed her eyes as his knuckles breezed over her bare shoulders, a soft sigh escaping her lips. Her sobs stopped, momentarily shocked, then the tears ceased.

 

InuYasha lingered a moment longer, his hands coming to a rest on her shoulders delicately, as if touching some rare china that could crumble at his touch. He was amazed at her soft her skin was, how warm and full of life her body seemed to be. Yet her eyes, they had been telling him another story, a darker story. They told of a girl who was dead to the world, a girl who had nothing to live for. Yet as the pads of his fingers dragged along the soft of her shoulder, both jumped slightly as if the touch had been electric. InuYasha swallowed hard and bit his tongue, wishing down those feelings that destroyed him utterly; feelings of longing to touch her, longing to hold her, longing to kiss her. Slowly, InuYasha blinked then lifted his gaze to stare out the window. Struggling for a voice, it was rasp at best. “I never got how these winter thunderstorms exist. It's a freak accident of nature. From all my time here, I've seen two.”

 

Kagome shrugged wordlessly and rested her chin on her knees. His presence was a blessing and a curse; it stopped the tears but dug at her like a bed of nails. Just knowing that he was so close to her but she was unable to reach him, unable to explain herself. For months after the breakup, she had contemplated calling him and asking him to come to California to make things right. But she couldn't…she knew if she did, it would be like crawling back to him, and that she would not do. But now… she was willing to do anything to make that moment of his hand touching her, his body so close, last forever. And that scared her.

 

InuYasha studied the girl's sad reflection in the mirror then slowly dropped to sit behind her. Resting against the wall, he put one knee up on the wooden platform that she sat upon. He didn't care that he was grasping at straws for conversation. He was with her…alone…and that was all that mattered. For the first time in years, his Youkai was content. “Living in California must have driven you crazy. I remember constant storms there.”

 

Kagome nodded again then quietly responded, her voice as lost as his. “Lots of sleepless nights. The heat lightning I got used to, but I never could get used to the storms, especially being on the beach.”

 

InuYasha frowned and rested his chin on his knee. Staring at the girls' back, he reached out gently and touched her shoulder. She stiffened, he closed his eyes and they sat for a moment in a content silence. Yet, like shattering glass, he broke the mood. “I need you to tell me what happened.”

 

Kagome shrunk away from his hand and swallowed hard. “What…what do you mean?”

 

InuYasha narrowed his eyes. The last thing he wanted to do at three AM was run in circles with the one girl he had been trying his hardest to avoid. “You know what I mean, Kagome. What happened between us?”

 

Kagome sighed and rubbed her weary eyes. Why this question…why now? She had asked it of herself thousands of times over and always got the same answer. It came via the voice of Sango and drove her crazy. `I ran away.' With a deep sigh, she shook her head. “You know what happened Yash. You saw how we were…you saw how nasty we got with each other. Things just…fell apart.”

 

InuYasha sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He hated the thought of destiny, he always had. And to think that their relationship was a victim of that destiny…it didn't bode well with him at all. Remembering a statement Ryen had made to him when he used a similar line, he reiterated, “Things don't fall apart, people do…and we cause things to get all fucked up. The question is where did we go wrong? Honestly? When did it start changing?”

 

Kagome shrugged and fought the urge to lean back into his arms. It was like fighting a drug addiction. The closer he got the more she remembered, and it was terrifying. “I don't know…after your brother left, I guess, is when I first noticed it. Then we went our separate ways. I went to school; you went into the work force. I got bitchy, you became a drunk.”

 

“I've been sober for two years and a month.” He bowed his head sheepishly. “I took some good advice and joined AA.”

 

Kagome whirled around and gawked; her mouth moved a few times, unable to find the right words to express her feelings. “I…that's great.” Without really thinking, only moved by a moment of elation, she lurched forward and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. Cradling her head to the nook of his neck, she smiled until tears dripped down her face. “That's wonderful! Honestly InuYasha, I'm so happy for you!”

 

 

InuYasha was shocked at a number of things. First that she was so close it was almost stiffening. Second was that her breath was sending chills up his spine and he had to bite his tongue to keep from groaning. The third was that she was touching him, hugging him…hell, she was practically in his lap. His arms snaked around her and pulled her closer. Even if only for a moment, he indulged in the warmth around him, her body pressed tightly against his. The world felt right for the first time in nearly half a decade. The fourth thing, and the most important, that he noticed was what she called him. using one free hand, he pulled her into his lap and pressed her head into his shoulder. Brushing her bangs from her eyes, he stared down at her, unable to help the smile that was growing. “You called me InuYasha…you realize that?”

 

Kagome closed her eyes, unable to fight the blush that flushed her cheeks pink. Pressing her cheek into shoulder, his words hardly sounded Japanese to her. Not daring to open her eyes per chance of waking herself from this wonderful dream, she answered, “Well, it is your name.”

 

InuYasha couldn't help himself. Bringing his hand to her face, he brushed the pads of his fingers over her closed eyelids and down her cheeks. His voice grew distant as he remembered the countless times he had held her like this, touching her just as gently. “You haven't called me InuYasha since my brother left for school. It was always Yash or…” he stopped himself from pressing into the matters that didn't mean a thing anymore.

 

Kagome slowly opened her eyes, as if waking from sleep. Staring up at the hanyou, she felt her lips twist into an apologetic frown. “I…never realized that.”

 

Swallowing hard, InuYasha nodded astutely. “I think there are a lot of things we both did that we never realized.”

 

“I guess there are.”

 

Silence wrapped around the two like a blanket.

 

“For what it's worth, I'm sorry.”

 

Kagome's head snapped up as she stared at the hanyou. His eyes weren't meeting hers; he was staring off at the ceiling. She brought her hand to his cheek and cupped it. gently, she tugged his head towards her, forcing him to look at her. “Don't you be sorry, InuYasha! It was me…I'm at fault. I pushed you away; I refused to let you go with me…I left you. if anything, I should be the one begging for you to talk to me. I should…” she closed her eyes as more tears glistened on her eyelashes like diamonds in the dark. “I shouldn't be forgiven.”

 

InuYasha leaned down and brushed his lips over her forehead. “Don't say such things, Kagome…we both didn't really fight for this. But…”

 

Kagome's eyes jerked open to meet his. “But?”

 

InuYasha's mouth opened and closed a few times before he fell silent. Thunder rattled the house and the girl in his lap jumped. InuYasha chuckled and hugged her tighter to his chest. “It's just noise, Kagome…it can't hurt you.”

 

Kagome shrugged and buried her face in his shoulder. “I know…I hate it regardless.”

 

InuYasha moved to talk but lost himself in a yawn.

 

Kagome nearly fell out of his lap. Moving so fast he could hardly place her to her feet, she darted away from him as if he was infected. “Oh god, I'm so sorry! Gomen nasai. I didn't realize what time it was. Oh gods, it's like four in the morning. You've worked all day and here I am crying like a baby over a storm. Go to bed, InuYasha! Get some rest!”

 

InuYasha climbed off the ledge and in a flash, wrapped his arms around Kagome and pulled her into a tight hug. The couple fought down the tears of depression and of hope, of frustration and of relief. Resting his cheek on her head, he muttered, “don't ever apologize for wasting my time Kagome. If it's time with you, then it's not wasted.”

 

Kagome smiled despite her urge to ball.

 

InuYasha pulled away from the girl and caught the tear that streamed from her cheek on his finger. He flicked it away and rubbed her cheek with the pad of his thumb. “Why don't you get some sleep?”

 

A crack of thunder shook the house and Kagome blanched. Rubbing his back gently, she untangled herself from his arms. “I'll be fine. You go to bed.”

 

InuYasha grasped her hand in his and led her up the steps. Stopping at her bedroom, he opened the door for her. Doing a mock bow, he held his arm out to the girl, “Je presente la chambre de Kagome.” grasping her hand as she giggled, he kissed the back of her hand, his amber eyes glowing like molten lava, burning into hers. “Bon soir, Mon Cherie.”

 

Kagome blushed crimson and walked slowly into the room. She watched InuYasha until the door was shut on her world. Twirling in a circle, she held her arms out then hugged herself and fell over onto the bed with a slight giggle. She hadn't felt this good in a long time.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~

 

 

InuYasha peeled off his shirt; his cheeks still red from the evening's events. He couldn't believe that talking with her had been that easy. What amazed him more was that he had been able to hold her in his arms. His eyes lifted to glance into the mirror and he paused. Taking a step closer, he tentatively held out his hand and touched the cold reflective surface. For the first time in probably six years, when looking at himself in the mirror, he was smiling. `I…I feel good. I feel…amazing, actually.' He placed his hand over his heart and closed his eyes. `Does this mean that maybe…maybe things…' he cut off that train of thought. If he enjoyed the time now, for what it was without looking into the future, he could be happy. He knew that she would be leaving…that should would be returning home. She would leave again, and he would be incapable to going with her. somewhere inside of him, his Youkai fumed. `You have her…you have her again in your arms. the hell you're going to let her walk away. You watched her leave once; we will not do it again. I forbid it!'

 

InuYasha nearly jumped as the power snapped off in the house. a second later, thunder roared and lighting lit up the entire house. He reached over and flipped the switch on his light twice then sighed. Lifting his head, he nearly panicked. `Kagome!' rushing out of his room, he ran down the hallway. He knew she was safe, he knew she was probably hiding under her covers as well. Why he felt the urge to run to her was beyond him, but he needed to know she was okay, to comfort her. He opened the door and glanced around the room wildly. His eyes latched onto the sight of the girl, wrapped in a blanket, curled up in the darkest corner of the room, slowly rocking back and forth. The lines of worry gave way to a softer expression as he knelt down in front of her. he reached forward and touched her face. “Kagome?”

 

Kagome jumped, as if he was some monster let in from the horrid night. She jerked backwards then sighed when his gold eyes widened. She nearly fell forward into his arms. “InuYasha.”

 

Collecting the girl in his arms, he plucked her off the floor and worked his way out of the room. “I told you, stupid, its just noise.” He paused and glanced down at her. “Babes…I'm sorry. I didn't mean…” His voice trailed off as the sound of her steady breathing wormed its way into his ears. She was sound asleep. `That or passed out from fear.' Either way, he smiled. He moved to turn back to leave her on her bed but stopped. On one hand he should put her back in her bed; it was only proper. But on the other hand, if she woke up to another clap of thunder she would be all freaked out over again. And the last thing he wanted to do was see her huddling in the corner again. Deciding to weather the storm, he carried her back to his bedroom. He laid her on the opposite side of the bed gently, one hand tracing the contour of her jaw. `She is so beautiful…and she's starting to gain back some weight. She doesn't look so tired anymore.' He touched her cheeks. `she's so gorgeous…why hasn't she dated? I'm sure guys have pursued her, was she just not interested?'

 

Kagome wrinkled her nose in her sleep, her peaceful features twisting into something of a distraught expression; her mouth started moving as her body began to thrash. She was trying to escape some invisible foe, some nightmarish hell world.

 

 

InuYasha studied her face as he slowly stroked her cheek. “Kagome…Kagome wake up.”

 

Kagome grunted and pulled away from his hand. “Inu…Inu, No! Please…”

 

InuYasha's heart stopped. Was she having a nightmare about him? Was she dreading what he was doing to her? She sounded so afraid, so terrified. Trepidation welled in his stomach, making him want to retch. What was the dream version of him doing to her? Was it a memory? Had he ever really hurt her? His heart lurched into his chest as she called his name out again in fear.

 

“InuYasha…”

 

InuYasha shrunk back, his eyes wide. `What did I do to her? Why…why is she so afraid?'

 

Kagome lurched to one side, her face inches away from his knees. “InuYasha help…”

 

InuYasha mentally smacked himself. Leaning forward, he placed one hand on her shoulder, the other on her cheek. “Kags, wake up! Kagome wake up! You're having a dream.” Seeing that it was doing nothing, InuYasha grew a pair and leaned closer to her. Bringing his lips to her cheek, he stopped an inch away as her eyes snapped open. Silence ensued, somewhat awkward, and for a moment, InuYasha wished he could simply slip away into the darkness.

 

Kagome blinked, her eyes lingering on his lips that were so close to her, then slowly trailed up his cheeks to his eyes. She blinked again and smiled softly. Lifting her head, she placed it on his knees and moved closer to him. Closing her eyes, she whispered, “don't leave me…please…”

 

InuYasha choked on his words. “Me…wait…you think…Kagome?” Glancing down, he fought the urge to scream. She was sound asleep. With a defeated sigh, he placed one hand under her head and lifted her just slightly. Slipping onto his back to lie down, he placed her head back onto his shoulder. He wrapped one arm under her small frame and turned her to cradle her against his chest. Lowering his lips to her head, he kissed her forehead. “Don't think I'll ever leave you again, Kagome. I won't…I promise.”

 

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~~**~*~*~*~

 

 

Ryen carried two cups of coffee out onto the covered porch, sitting down on the brown wooden bench swing next to his nephew. Handing one to the Youkai next to him, Ryen indulged in the aroma for a moment.

 

“I worry, Ryen.”

 

Ryen shifted his eyes from the brown liquid to the man next to him. Taking a sip yet never once removing his eyes, the older Youkai groaned. “You woke me up at the ass crack of dawn to tell me your worried? Unless you're sensing the impending apocalypse, I don't want to know about it.” taking another sip, he made no motion to stand.

 

Golden eyes regarded the drowsy elder. “Being that you have yet to move, I shall take it that you know what I speak of and share my feelings.”

 

Ryen rolled his eyes and took another sip. “You know, I really would love to know just where the fuck you get your energy in the morning. If I manage to roll my ass out of bed before ten o'clock, it's a fuckin' miracle.”

 

Sesshoumaru chortled from behind the coffee cup. “Rin. She's my energy source. And since she is on current bed rest, I need enough for the both of us.”

 

Ryen held up a finger. “You put her on bed rest…not the doctor. You're paranoid, by the way.” Glancing at his watch, the Youkai yawned then held out a hand to his eldest nephew. “What the fuck did you want again?”

 

“I'm worried about my brother. He's getting in over his head.”

 

Ryen slumped his shoulders and hung his head for a moment before taking another sip of coffee. “Look, Sesshoumaru,” placing the cup down, he moved back on the bench and kicked up his feet on the small table. “Your brother, over this past week, has been the happiest that I've seen him in a long time.”

 

Sesshoumaru turned slowly to stare incredulously at his uncle. “Are you mad? He's been miserable.”

 

Ryen shrugged, “I know. I never said he was content, he's just in a much better place then he's been in for the last four years. He's talkative, involved…and his work performance has sky rocketed.” Sitting back, the Youkai looked rather smug, “hell, I can't complain.”

 

Sesshoumaru sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Ryen, you miss my point. He's miserable.”

 

Ryen studied Sesshoumaru's face for a while then took the last of his coffee in a large gulp. “I beg to differ.”

 

Sesshoumaru raised an eyebrow, “do you?”

 

“I do, in fact. Case of point; InuYasha has been slacking on the field. He yells more frequently at his coworkers and since Sango requested a desk job, I haven't been able to partner him off with anyone. He's become unstable and a rogue gun, and that was what I was worried about. But since Kagome and his little tryst in the kitchen…”

 

Sesshoumaru choked on his coffee. Trying to be a discrete as possible, he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and swallowed hard. “Wait…what tryst are you speaking of? Don't tell me…”

 

Ryen laughed outright. “No! They just managed to literally back themselves into a corner while arguing and you know those two…when they argue it leads to noise that we can't manage to filter no matter how many headphones we shove on.” Sesshoumaru looked slightly aghast. “Don't freak, they didn't get that far. But it's bee interesting ever since. And…InuYasha has become a better team player!”

 

Sesshoumaru blinked then slowly set down his cup and turned to glower in disdain at his uncle. “Do you not care at all about your nephew's mental state of health? Do you not think him becoming more depressed with every day? I see it in his eyes, especially when she's in the room, he's suffering and I think him being around her this much is a bad idea.”

 

Ryen rubbed his face. “You obviously don't know what longing is when you see it.” Holding up his hands, he gibed the Youkai, “see, Sesshoumaru…sometimes, these little prefect worlds that you erect in life fail. And when they fail, you lose something you cherish, something you love. InuYasha lost Kagome…and seeing her now, he wants her back. Which is good…because god knows those two need each other. It might seem destructive now, but just wait. It will be okay in the end, promise.”

 

Sesshoumaru considered beating his uncle out of stupidity but chose instead to simply to growl. “I do not wish to play Russian roulette with my little brother's sanity, if you do not mind.”

 

Ryen blinked a few times then sat back slowly in his chair and wiped away an invisible tear. “I think I'm going to cry…you're finally worried about InuYasha. That's so…adorable, Sesshoumaru!”

 

Sesshoumaru narrowed his eyes and leaned closer to the Youkai. “If you ever use my name and the word adorable in a sentence together again, I'll have to kill you. I'm sure you understand.”

 

Ryen stood up, stretched and ruffled the twenty-eight year old Youkai's hair then avoided the swipe of his claws. “You're to fuckin' sappy in the morning Sessh. Go back to bed for another two hours.”

 

Sesshoumaru grunted his response.

 

“Well, since you decided to torture me by waking me up, I shall do the same…to your brother. Pardon me.” Sluggishly, Ryen dragged himself into the house and up the steps. Passing Kagome's room, he cocked an eyebrow at the ajar door, and then pulled it closed silently. Walking down three more doors, he tapped with one claw on the wood. “Wake up and face the morning rays, sunshine.” Hearing an incoherent grumble from inside, his smile grew. “What, come in you said and drag you downstairs by your ankle? Why…it would be my privilege.” Opening the door, he paused mid-step, his eyes widening.

 

InuYasha was sprawled out under what little was left of his comforter, fully dressed in his police uniform, one leg hanging off the bed, his silver hair spread like a fan across the dark blue bed. That wasn't what got Ryen though. Wrapped in the rest of the comforter, nestled against the hanyou's chest was a body and a mess of black hair. Had Ryen not his demon senses, he would have probably flown into a fit about bringing girls to his friends house. Instead, he leaned against the door and smiled warmly. InuYasha cracked open one eye hazily and stared at his uncle. “What the fuck are you doing here? What do you want, bastard?”

 

Ryen's smile grew cynical. “I ain't your brother, jackass.”

 

InuYasha shrugged, “I know.” He turned and buried his face in Kagome's hair. Ryen counted backwards from three. As soon as he hit zero, InuYasha jumped backwards and fell out of bed with a whimper that resembled a kicked dog. Ryen couldn't contain his laughter. Doubling over, the older Youkai had to hold onto the door to keep from falling over.

 

InuYasha rubbed his sore head, slightly confused. Then like a fog lifting, he remembered the prior night and just why Kagome was in his bed. `She's really here, isn't she?' Glowering at his hysterical uncle, he rolled his eyes and worked his way to his feet. “Ha, fuckin', ha ha. You're such a dick weed, Ryen.”

 

Ryen rubbed the tears from his eyes and stood up straight. “That's officer dick weed to you, punk. And I ain't the one falling out of bed. What, forget what a girl looks like in the morning? Did she scare you that bad?”

 

InuYasha flushed and slowly began to unbutton his top. “No…I just…thought it was all a dream, honestly.”

 

Ryen turned his eyes to his stepdaughter…or at least, soon to be when he got the courage to give Kauai the ring he had bought two years prior. His face sobered as he felt a frown searing its way onto his face. “Yash…you didn't…take things to far, yet, have you?”

 

InuYasha flustered as he pulled off his work shirt. Stretching, he climbed slowly back into bed. “No, I ain't stupid. She was scared of the storm, then we lost power and I knew she would be freaking out. I was just watching out for her. I ain't gonna just grab her, throw her down and rut with her like I used to. I'm not like that anymore, nor have any interest in being like that. I want her to be comfortable with me, and I ain't gonna fall back into the way I used to follow. She deserves so much more then some wild animal sex…”

 

Ryen covered his ears then turned around. “I really don't need nor want to hear about this. I'm going to go now…and bleach my eardrums. In the mean time, keep it in your pants and keep up that current attitude. With that, you might stand a chance.” He closed the door on his way out. Once in the hall, he fisted the air and shouted, “Ryen; one. Sesshoumaru; zero!”

 

InuYasha furrowed his brows as he heard his uncle yell then laid back down into the bed. He smirked seeing the mess of hair that was Kagome sticking out from the blanket. Taking his hands, he smoothed back her black tresses and kissed the top of her forehead. He was shocked when pulling back; to find two chocolate eyes staring back at him.

 

“Is Ryen gone?”

 

InuYasha closed his eyes and nodded. `By the gods, I've missed how she sounds in the morning.'

 

Kagome flushed inside of her cocoon and inched closer to her bed partner. “Are you okay? I…thought…I heard you fall out of bed.”

 

InuYasha shrugged and played it off. “Nah, I'm fine, don't worry.” inside, he was panicking. `Did she hear what I told Ryen? Is she going to think that I want to be back together?' he opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out. `Shit! Think Inu!' he said the first thing that came to his brain. “You know…you're stuck in there until I unroll you, right?”

 

Kagome rolled her eyes and jostled back and forth. Finding herself unable to move, her eyes met his. She gulped at the slight predator's gleam in his eyes and struggled harder. After a moment, she got the hint and rolled in one direction. It did a little good, but she was still stuck.

 

InuYasha laughed then shoved both hands under her. Lifting her up, he held her against him as he unwrapped the blanket. “You know, I can get cold at night, wench. You shouldn't hog the blankets.”

 

“And this coming from the said hanyou who claimed that he never feels anything.”

 

InuYasha frowned as he pulled the blanket from her and dropped her onto the mattress. “I do feel stuff…like hunger and…” He wasn't sure what else to add. Love, frustration, heartache, loneliness, desperation, and desolation…the list was endless. “…Hunger.”

 

Kagome laughed, looking up into his eyes then rubbed her own. “You want to go get something to eat?”

 

InuYasha blinked then smiled. Lying down next to her, he gave her a short squeeze around the waist. “No. I'm perfectly content like this.”

 

Kagome nodded in agreement. Closing her eyes, she snuggled closer to the hanyou. “I missed this…so much.”

 

“So did I, Kag, so did I.”

 

Kagome swallowed thickly. “Yash…I don't…I don't want to hurt you again.” Opening her eyes, she turned pleadingly towards him. “I love you to much to hurt you again. Please…please understand; I'm going back for my last semester after this, to California. Then I need to join a practice. I'm not leaving to come back here, InuYasha. So before you get all comfortable, please understand that.”

 

InuYasha sighed and ran his hand through his hair, somewhat wishing that she had kept her mouth shut over that tiny part. “Kagome…I…I know you don't plan on coming back. I know you just want to graduate school and move into a career.” He sighed and rubbed his head. “How about this; no plans for the future. Right now, we live for now.”

 

Kagome placed her hand over his and gently removed it from her stomach. Sitting up, she rubbed her neck and looked at the sheets. “I can't do that. I fooled myself for two years in our relationship, InuYasha, thinking that I never had to look to the future. I won't kill myself like that again.”

 

InuYasha reached over and tugged at Kagome's hand. “Kagome…I'm not asking for you to devote your life to me. And I'm sorry that you feel that you wasted time with me. That hurts to hear, it really does. But I'm not asking…I…I just…”

 

Kagome turned her head and stared at the boy next to her. The way the gently wisps of morning light illuminated his face made him seem like an angel. “I know what you want, InuYasha, and I'm sorry…but I can't offer that. I can't do that in moral consciousness nor can I emotionally. It would destroy me to give you a part of me but unable to give you all. I can't…and I won't.”

 

InuYasha sighed and ran his hand over his face. “Kagome, if you think I'm asking for sex, rest assured, I'm not. I don't want it. What I want though is for you to let me in. talk to me, don't hold back.”

 

Kagome shook her head, the familiar tensioning in her stomach telling her she would be warding off tears soon. “No. I can't. I'm sorry.” With that, she began to pull herself from his grasp.

 

“What did you dream of?”

 

Kagome froze. Turning slowly, her eyes widened. “What?”

 

“What did you dream of, Kagome? Why did you call out to me in your sleep? Why did you need me to save you? What happened?”

 

Kagome sat back, her body going slack in his grasp. He eased her down to the bed as she stared at the wall. After a long moment, she unsteadily answered, “I have had a reoccurring dream lately. It's of the day I left the hotel. When leave though, it's not how it really happened. I get into the taxi and the man who is driving locks the doors and takes off for the airport. Well…halfway there, he turns down some deserted road and suddenly it's night. He tells me that no one will hear me scream. Then I look and it's…it's….” she rubbed her eyes and sighed deeply, “it's Naraku.”

 

InuYasha nearly gasped “Naraku?”

 

“Yeah, that's what I always think. But in my dreams he…” she flushed and looked away.

 

InuYasha wasted no time grabbing her shoulders and turning her to face him. Cupping her chin, he bore her down. “Don't even think about it. Naraku's dead, you know that. You're being foolish. He can't hurt you anymore.”

 

Kagome rubbed her arms, ignoring the plea her mind was making with her to shut up. “It might be an illusion, but that doesn't make it any less real at the time. Well, I spend the rest of the dream screaming for you, begging for you to come. When he…when he's done, Naraku spits on me and tells me that no one is left in my life…normally I wake up crying for hours. But this time, last night, you saved me.” she lifted her eyes to his and blinked away her tears. “This time you came!”

 

Wrapping his arms around Kagome, InuYasha pulled her into his lap with no effort. Ignoring her indignant gasp, he wrapped his arms around the girl and buried his face in her hair. “I'll always come Kagome…I'll always be there for you. I don't care what I have to do but I'll never let anyone hurt you again Kagome…not even myself.”

 

Kagome resisted his hold on her for a second, and then fell into his chest with a sigh. Resting her face against his chest, she asked quietly, “what am I going to do with you, InuYasha?”

 

InuYasha laughed at the responses that filtered through his head.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~**~*~*~*~

 

 

part two to come soon. I just couldn't post part one until I got something up for you guys…more to the point, so I didn't get yelled at for ruining Christmas (or the holidays) ^__^ ; oh yeah, btw- HAPPY HOLIDAYS all!!!!