InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ The Gods' Opinion ❯ Without ( Chapter 9 )

The Gods' Opinion

 

Disclaimer: Almost all characters belong to Takahashi Rumiko.

 

Warning: This is a mature story and I mean that in more than this story only containing sexual situations and bad language. It contains adult themes.

 

Summary: Kagome is trying hard to have a baby. But when things don't work out, she visits the best fertility doctor in the world. She finds her feelings and beliefs challenged as she struggles to hold onto her dreams.

 

xxxxx-----xxx-----xxxxx

 

Chapter Nine Without

 

Kagome lifted the heavy backpack off the ground as soon as the secretary on the psychology floor told her that Sango was ready and waiting for her. She had gone to the school earlier that day to collect the work her students had due that day, only to find a work box stuffed with papers and back assignments as well. As the days counted down toward the end of the quarter, the amount of work she found herself doing only increased. Why couldn't the students have turned in the assignments on time at the beginning to save her from the hassle?

 

The door to Sango's office was already open and Kagome found the doctor sitting behind her desk, typing away furiously at the computer. It looked as if she was answering and replying to her email that she had put off for the first half of the day, which reminded Kagome of something she needed to do later on. Closing the door behind her, Kagome left the large bag by the door so she didn't have to drag it over to her seat. There was so much paper work for just a cooking class.

 

“Kagome, hi, I'll be with you in just one minute.”

 

Sitting down in the chair she was starting to get used to, she flashed a quick smile at Sango. “It's all right, take your time.”

 

Sango closed the files up and readied her other pieces of equipment for her appointment with Kagome. Moving herself from the desk, she took her position across from Kagome, settling into the seat for the first of their hour long sessions this week.

 

First, she thought about talking to Kagome about the dinner, and what she had Miroku find out for her. But the more she thought about it, the more it seemed like a terrible idea. The dinner was bad enough for Kagome, with Hojo having to leave right in the middle of it, and Inuyasha scolding her about the cooking technique, that for Sango to tell her what she thought about the relationship would most likely hurt Kagome.

 

So, she decided to try a different approach.

 

“How are you today?” she started out. It was a non-threatening question that she used to start a lot of her sessions; it would allow Kagome to get comfortable with not only being in the office, but with talking to her again about personal matters.

 

“Fine. A bit busy.” She motioned to the backpack squatting next to the door. It was going to suck dragging that thing onto the bus for the ride home, though it would be better than walking or riding her bike with it.

 

“Looks like it,” Sango commented on the large yellow backpack. “So, is there anything that you want to talk about today?”

 

Nodding her head, Kagome didn't look directly at Sango, but just off to the side, perhaps at one of the pictures on that wall. “Yeah, there is.” Kagome quietly shifted in her seat, already uncomfortable by the question she needed to ask. Now, how to word the question?

 

“Is it possible to be in love with someone, but not want to have sex with them? I mean, a romantical kind of love, not brotherly or a paternal love, romance.”

Wow, didn't expect that one. Kinda came out of right field.

 

Sango shifted in her chair, looking for that comfortable position for what was going to be one of those sessions, the kind where she did most of the talking. But some sessions like that were successful as it gave the patient an opportunity to get the right information, information they needed to make some decision or to come to some conclusion about their lives.

 

“Yes, it is. The term for these people is asexual, and basically they are people who have no sexual attractions and very limited sexual desires. They can be intimate, more like an emotional intimacy than physical intimacy.”

 

“Many consider it an orientation, like straight, bi or gay. Last I remember, something like 1 out of every 100 adults is asexual, and it occurs in those that seek companionship with someone of the opposite sex or the same sex, or both.”

 

Kagome remained silent and still as Sango described what she could recall about asexual humans from her sexuality classes. That was so long ago, and working at this clinic, it was a topic that hadn't come up before. However, it wasn't something Kagome brought up for fun. There was a reason she asked her question.

 

“Kagome, are you and Hojo having sex?”

 

“Yes, we have sex,” she sputtered out loudly. She wasn't a prude. At least, she didn't consider herself one.

 

“Then why the question?”

 

“I just feel that, maybe, perhaps, there's a chance that Hojo doesn't want to have sex . . . with me.” It took a lot of her guts for her to come out and finally say it. She didn't know when she started to feel this way, but lately, the feelings were growing stronger. They also were having less sex since they started coming to this clinic.

 

“Why do you think that? You said so yourself, his work has him very busy. He may be stressed more than usual, which can lower one's sexual drive for the duration of heavy stress.”

 

That did make sense. Was it only her that could see it? Something she made up as an excuse for her lack luster sex life? Maybe it was time for Sango to know a little more about her relationship with Hojo.

 

“You may be right,” Kagome conceded. Still . . . “But, would you hear me out and then tell me your opinion on the matter?”

 

Sango nodded. She never figured that this was the problem with their relationship. Miroku had his opinion on their situation, and he was close, but he would never, ever, ever accept that any male would choose not to have sex, would not want it.

 

“Okay, so I told you a little something about how Hojo and I met, and got together as a couple. He took me out all of the time; to the museum, theater, restaurants, zoos, parks, uh, ferry trips to even just staying home to watch a foreign flick. I found it so romantic. I felt like this could be love.”

 

She took a deep breath and slowly released it before continuing on with her little fairy tale. “He'd kiss me on the cheek or on the hand when he'd say goodnight. I lived with my college roomies for the first two years we dated. Sometimes he'd stay the night, and we'd cuddle and snuggle with one another, just falling asleep in the warmth of each other's arms.”

 

Sango smiled at the description of her memories. It sounded like she had a normal and ideal relationship with Hojo. So, why did she want her opinion on the matter?

 

“When I graduated from the university, I didn't move in with him right away, I went home to live. A few weeks after graduation, he asked me to move in and of course I said yes. He was waiting to see if he got his acceptance into the doctorate school before asking me. Then, he asked me to consider marrying him. And again, I said yes.”

 

“Then your grandfather died?”

 

“Not right away. He blessed our engagement and helped to prepare for the ceremony. I grew up on a shrine, so many of the beliefs of the shrine were instilled in me, becoming my beliefs. Hojo was the same way, since his parents were patrons of the shrine. I happened to be a little more liberal though, despite my upbringing.”

 

“A week or two before the wedding, my grandfather died and I just couldn't be married by someone else. I really don't know why, but at that time, it could only be him. Yes, I got very depressed after the death of my brother and grandfather. I had lost a huge part of my family, a part of my life. And I know my depression hurt Hojo, and even confused him. He never brought up the wedding after the funeral. He did bring up children though. He said that my grandfather's blessing was a blessing by the gods and for him that was enough for us to be married.”

 

“I agreed with his conclusions and so, we decided to try for a child. We both went to a doctor together and were tested for any diseases. The weekend after the tests came back, clear, we had sex for the first time.”

 

Sango blinked a couple of times, her mouth hanging open. Shutting her eyes tight, she shook the shock out. She just couldn't believe it. Miroku wouldn't believe it either. Yet, on some level, it made sense from what she had concluded about Hojo. He was the type who would wait until marriage before having sex.

 

“So, you and Hojo were together for almost three years and you didn't have sex?” she had to ask to be sure she heard Kagome correctly.

 

“For a while, I think anyway, that it was because of our religious beliefs that the only function sex played in a relationship was to create offspring. Hojo told me he felt that way. It sounded reasonable. But, because my friends were having sex, and enjoying it, without having any children, I was confused.”

 

“Sex is just so . . . awkward. Especially that first time. Neither of use really knew what we were doing. You can see it on TV, movies, you can read about it, but it when it gets down to you and your partner in bed, you just don't know. So, we'd have sex, and then wait to see if I'd become pregnant. Then we'd try again. But it wasn't happening for us. I thought . . . I thought that Hojo might be more motivated to do it more often then we have been.”

 

“Kagome, why don't you just come out and ask me the question you really want to ask me?”

 

“Eh?”

 

“You are telling me your story so that I may answer your real question, or maybe two. Are you or Hojo asexual? And is that the reason why you aren't having as much sex as you think you two should be?”

 

Kagome opened her mouth, hoping a nice, well-sounding rebuttal would come rolling out. But nothing. There was nothing to say. Maybe she didn't know what question she was trying to ask, but Sango could be right. Kagome figured she had just taken the scenic route because she didn't know how to ask it.

 

“Well, let's see then. Kagome, do you respond to sexual attraction?”

 

As soon as the word sexual left Sango's lips, Kagome's brain went right to work, the gears grinding as she recalled the scent of a particular doctor's leather jacket. The gears in her head started the gears in her lower abdomen. She squeezed her eyes tightly shut, hoping it would just all go away. She would just have to wait until her brain was de-scented . . .

 

“Y-yes,” her shaky voice rattled out. At least she thought she did. Now that Sango asked her about it, doubts started to surface. But what was she doubting? “I guess so.”

 

“And do you act or want to act on these attractions?”

 

“Sometimes.” When appropriate and legal and . . .

 

“Then you are not asexual.” Sango leaned forward in her chair. “As for Hojo, I can't say.”

 

Kagome watched as the delicate threads holding the hem of her blouse together easily unraveled and broke. A sign of impending doom? - Or maybe just the need for a new shirt. She was so confused. Her original question still hadn't been answered. If she was asexual, if Hojo was asexual, well, that might be okay, yet, it wasn't what she was worried about.

 

“If I am, well, you said I'm not . . . and if Hojo is . . . can we still have love, be in love, really deep love?”

 

Sango was taken aback by Kagome's question. She wasn't worried about sex, but love? Many women and men who sat in Kagome's chair were so worried about sex; their sexual performance, their ability to please their partner, the ability to orgasm or at least fake it well enough. Why was Kagome worried about love?

 

“Yes, a person, a couple can have deep, romantic love without sex. In fact, many asexual people claim to have healthier, deeper love because there isn't a sexual factor to confuse or complicate matters. Many relationships can become solely dependent on sex and sex alone. As long as the sex is good, they will stay together, even if there is no love.”

 

“Oh, okay.”

 

Sango leaned back into her chair keeping quiet as she studied Kagome. After the previous session, this one and the dinner, she was no closer to unraveling the secrets of Kagome's mind, her feelings and her thoughts.

 

What reasons did Kagome have to stay silent? Something else other than family deaths; other than being unable to have a child was bothering her. Deep down there was a problem, the real problem, and it was hiding in Kagome's brain, releasing pieces of clues as to what it really was; the true identity of the beast lurking in the shadows.

 

Could Sango help her to not only reveal the beast, but to slay it as well? She didn't know. Most couples in here knew what was wrong with them or at least knew which path to walk down to find its lair. Kagome barely knew anything about her problem.

 

“Kagome?”

 

“Mmm?”

 

“You said you feel sexual attraction. Do you want to act on it?”

 

“Eh?” Oh, gods, she knew. How did she find out? She hadn't told anyone about it, not even her mother. Especially not her mother. Kagome did not want her mother to know.

 

“Are you sexually attracted to Hojo?”

 

Was she sexually attracted to Hojo? In high school, he was tall and in decent shape as he had ran track. He was an upperclassman, last year, the cream of the crop to a first year such as her, making him untouchable. She remembered when she first laid her eyes on him; warm bright caramel eyes and perfect toffee-colored hair. Popular, intelligent and sweet.

 

What was there that a girl couldn't be attracted to?

 

Hojo was Prince Charming, the man of any girl's dreams. He had good pedigree as he came from a family of doctors and teachers. He was gentle, kind and so romantic that at times, she felt like she was that girl in the fairy tales. The girl who woke up at the smallest kiss, or had the glass slipper placed onto her tiny foot by the one she was destined to be with. The one she could live happily ever after with.

 

However, in the story of Cinderella or Sleeping Beauty, there was no sexual element. The chemistry of the main characters was cute with the `ahh' factor, but not the sexual, wet panty sensations. Did there have to be sex, or even sexual attraction to have the fairy tale?

 

Did she really want the fairy tale?

 

No, she wanted normal. She wanted a child with the man she loved. But she also wanted to have the experiences that Eri so proudly shared. She didn't need all of it, but she was becoming aware that her relationship with Hojo was missing something. Unless that something was just a part of her imagination.

 

Unlike Eri, she did want a relationship what would last. Eri's were one month flings. That might work for her, but Kagome needed love, not just physical gratification. Eri had the carnal, but not the spiritual.

 

Kagome looked up at Sango, unable to answer her question because she really didn't know anymore. Hojo was the guy from the stories, Hojo was the nice guy girls searched for, but complained that they could never find. Well, Kagome found one, a real one. And still, her life wasn't all rainbows and puppies.

 

Something was definitely wrong with her.

 

“Kagome, you're not the first woman to suddenly find herself not as attracted to the man in your life. It's easy to get comfortable, too comfortable with the person we live with, the person we see in their ugliest moments. You can still be very much in love with Hojo and not feel the need to hump his bone every night.”

 

“There is a solution to this.” Kagome looked up eagerly. There was help. “You need to rekindle your desires for Hojo. Most people do this by going out to the same place they had their first date, or a weekend trip to a hotel or bed and breakfast. The point being, you and Hojo need to go out and experience sex in a new setting. Just to be reminded of what you are attracted to.”

 

Kagome frowned. It wasn't that she wasn't into the idea. In fact, it sounded wonderful, romantic even. Yet, the problem was that it would never happen. Not right now. Not with Hojo and his work. His work was the second most important thing to him. Having his child with Kagome was first. And a child could be conceived without the physical act of sex. Procreation didn't even need love, or romance or passion either.

 

“Sango, Hojo and I, we can't have sex.” Kagome looked up at the confused looking doctor. “I mean, we can, but it's just . . . it's just not happening for us. I'm so worried about trying to have this child that I'm too . . . I'm too stressed to be in the mood for it as well.”

 

“Have you told this to Dr. Takahashi?”

 

“Uh, no . . . I haven't.”

 

“Well, you need to. You most likely feel stressed about sex because in the past because it hasn't given you the results you desire.”

 

“I don't understand how doing the same thing with a different doctor is any different.”

 

“He needs to know this. And soon. You're wasting his time, and yours, if you don't.”

 

“Okay.”

 

“But, I still recommend that getaway the moment you can. It's good for all relationships, ones with or without sexual problems. I would highly consider it before things start to really get hectic for the both of you.”

 

“I will try.”

 

“I'm not going to order you to do it, but do look into it. Also, talk to Dr. Takahashi as soon as you can. When is your next appointment with him?”

 

“Next week, next Tuesday.”

 

“Tell him now so that on Tuesday he can begin discussing a course of treatments that will actually work.”

 

Kagome liked the sound of that. Sex for her and Hojo wasn't working, mainly because they weren't having any. Hojo was off working late hours only to come home, eat, shower and sleep so he could get up early and repeat the process. Also, Kagome didn't feel like having sex. She never asked Hojo about it and he didn't say anything about it either.

 

“I guess I could give him a call or something.”

 

“Well, if you don't have anything else to discuss, you can head over to his office now and talk to him.”

 

“Yeah, that could work.”

 

“All right. So, we're meeting again on Friday?”

 

“Yes, Friday, same time.”

 

“Great. Oh, I just want to say that dinner was fabulous. Miroku and I finished our leftovers before the night ended. And I'm just about out of that salad dressing. It really does add flavor to those things they pass off as salads here.”

 

“If you want, I can bring you a new bottle on Friday.”

 

“Really? You don't have to.”

 

“No, it's fine. Really. I've been wanting to make this new cranberry sauce dressing. I think you'll like it. It's perfect for spring and it'll go great with tiny mandarin oranges and nuts on a salad.”

 

“I can't wait for that then. See you Friday.”

 

“Later Sango.”

 

xxxxx-----xxx-----xxxxx

 

Kagome stepped off the elevator and entered the offices of Dr. Takahashi and the other fertility specialists. She found Saori at the reception desk humming quietly to herself as she entered file information into the computer.

 

“Uh, Saori, excuse me. Hi.”

 

“Hello Kagome. What can I do for you?”

 

“Is . . . uh . . . is Dr. Takahashi available?”

 

“Let me see.” Saori put down the file she was working on and started to tap on the keyboard. “Actually, yeah, he should be. He has no appointments for the rest of the afternoon. If you want, you can just skip on down to his office and pop in.”

 

“Thanks.” Kagome lugged her heavy backpack down the hallway as she made it toward the hanyou's office. She stopped as she saw a woman standing just outside the doorway to his office, talking to him, laughing, flirting. Kagome watched as the woman blew a kiss to him before turning and strutting away.

 

Kagome didn't know why, but she decided not to go see him. He was obviously in his office. Her chest shocked her with pain with every breath she took as she hurried down the hallway.

 

“Oh, Kagome, was he not in his office?”

 

“No, he wasn't and I can't wait. I just realized the time and I have a bus to catch.”

 

“Do you need to leave a message?”

 

“No, it's not that important. I'll just see him next week. Thanks anyway Saori.” Kagome bolted out of the office and dove into the open elevator.

 

She didn't know what was wrong with her, but it hurt her heart just to keep beating. Her mind was flooded with dirty images of that woman and Dr. Takahashi. Kagome had never seen a porn flick, and yet, her brain was doing a pretty good job of producing one for her.

 

The problem seemed to be that she wasn't the star. Also, she could never imagine herself acting like that with Hojo. Dr. Takahashi had this rough, unrefined edge about him while Hojo was squeaky clean. Was this just a case of the good girl attracted to the bad boy? Relationships with bad boys were nothing more than quick burning flings.

 

Once Kagome made it back to the apartment, she hunkered down at the dining room table to work on grading the mountainous stack of papers. She figured it would take her all night to get these taken care of, which was fine with her. It's not like she had any plans for the evening anyway.

 

xxxxx-----xxx-----xxxxx

One Week Later

 

Friday's appointment with Sango was a complete disaster. After seeing that girl flirt with Dr. Takahashi, she was upset. But she was afraid to talk to Sango about it. Sango could tell Inuyasha about it and that might affect her treatments. However, she couldn't think of anything else to talk about. They ended up mumbling through some questions and spent most of the hour in silence.

 

But what she was dreading the most was finally upon her, the appointment with Dr. Takahashi. Well, Hojo and her and Dr. Takahashi. Somehow, she needed to tell Dr. Takahashi that having sex enhanced with nutrients wasn't working out because they (her and Hojo) weren't having sex at all. She couldn't tell Dr. Takahashi that she wasn't in the mood for sex with Hojo as Hojo at in the room with her. All of her reasons for not having sex involved the two men that would be in the room.

 

“Kagome.”

 

It's not like she had any right to be angry at Dr. Takahashi for being attracted to that woman. She was prettier - no - sexier than anything Kagome could ever be. Other than Eri's stories and her gift books, what did Kagome really know about sex? Dr. Takahashi seemed experienced, like a teacher of sorts . . .

 

“Kagome . . . “

 

Besides, she was in a relationship with a nice, sweet man who took care of her. They were going to have a child together. It was going to be perfect. Nothing was going to ruin their plans.

 

“Kagome.” Kagome glanced up to see Saori standing there with a smile on her face. “Dr. Takahashi is ready to see you now.” Kagome stood up, preparing herself for the task ahead. “Where's Hojo?”

 

And what were you saying about nothing ruining those plans?

 

“I'm not sure.” Kagome reached into her purse, pulling out her cell phone. Hojo's number was speed dial #2, her mother was #1. She listened to the set number of rings before hearing Hojo's voice; the voice of his messaging system. She waited for the tone and then, “Hojo, it's me. We had an appointment with Dr. Takahashi today. Give me a call as soon as you get this. Bye.”

 

Saori noticed the disappointed look on Kagome's face. She'd seen many women who had to face the task of conceiving a child alone. With most women, it was an emotional loneliness. For Kagome, it was both.

 

“Do you want to reschedule?”

 

“No, it's okay. He said he might be a little late.”

 

“Okay, go right on ahead then.”

 

Kagome gave a grim looking grin to Saori before heading to Inuyasha's office. Hojo knew about the appointment. She reminded him last night and told him about it this morning before he left for work. Now she had to lie for him.

 

Composing herself the best she could, Kagome put a nicer smile on her face, pulled her shoulders back and readied herself to face Dr. Takahashi. She felt scared and lonely without Hojo with her. Even though they could conceive a child without sex, she still needed him by her side.

 

Inuyasha looked up as the door opened, walking around from behind his large desk to greet his patients. Nether would know what he had to go through to prepare himself for this appointment. One more cold shower and he was sure his testicles would freeze off.

 

“Kagome, Ho . . . “It was just Kagome. And while she had a smile on her face, Hojo's absence was a surprise to him as well. “Oi, where's Hojo? This is supposed to be a joint appointment.”

 

Kagome closed the door behind her. “He's going to be late. Something came up.”

 

Inuyasha frowned at her obvious lie. Though he could sense her frustration at her partner, he decided not to question her about it. It wasn't his job to play love doctor to distraught couples. If Kagome was suffering like this, then Sango wasn't doing her damn job.

 

“Well, uh, have a seat and we'll get started.” Inuyasha motioned her to one of the chairs, which she quietly sat down in. Inuyasha took his seat behind the desk, her file open and ready.

 

“So, Kagome, how, uh, how are things?”

 

Staring at the back of his computer monitor, she lazily lifted her shoulders up in a small shrug. “Okay I guess.”

 

She guesses? That was a strange answer. He glanced down at her folder. He had her doing what Sango had said Kagome called enhanced sex. It sounded a bit kinky. He cleared his throat. She'd been in presence for two minutes and already he was as hard as a rock and turning work terms into something sexual.

 

“Have you and Hojo been sexually active?”

 

“Oh, uh, yeah, we have been,” she chuckled out the lie to soften it for herself. Why did it feel so embarrassing to admit too? Because she felt like she was failing? To admit that she wasn't having sex was to say that she wasn't serious about having a baby.

 

“Kagome . . . “Inuyasha started to say but was interrupted by the sounds of a little kid singing some sickly sweet song that no doubt would be stuck in his head all day.

 

“Oh, excuse me.” Kagome dug deep into her purse and fished out the phone. “Hey.”

 

Inuyasha's ears perked up. Kagome stood up and walked over to a corner of his office, seeking some privacy for the conversation. Like she could get some with his hearing. Didn't she remember their little tiff about Superman? He examined her with his hearing not a month ago. Had she'd forgotten already?

 

Better add an MRI exam to that eye exam.

 

“Where are you?” she forcefully whispered into the tiny device, using her hand to cover her mouth, hoping to keep the nice looking hanyou doctor from eavesdropping.

 

`I'm so sorry Kagome. I can't get into details as you know. We've had a bit of a set back. I'm going to be stuck here.'

 

She sighed, her stormy eyes glancing up at the ceiling as the rain threatened to fall. “What am I going to do?”

 

`I trust you to do what is right concerning the child we want. If Dr. Takahashi needs my . . . uh, fluids, just let me know, okay?'

 

She just didn't need his semen, she needed him. Didn't he know that? To have him hold her hand, to hear his whispers of reassurances, to see that perfect smile of his; she needed it all. Instead, his work's need overshadowed her own. She was being placed second to a sterile lab and a Petri dish.

 

“Sure,” she quickly snapped the word out of her mouth. She was mad, frustrated and believed that she had every right to be.

 

“I'll be home late. Please don't stay up late on my behalf, okay? Have a good day at work tomorrow. I love you.”

 

“Bye.” Kagome pushed the disconnect button and removed the phone from her ear. She brushed her fingers over the keypad. Why was all of this happening to her now? Kagome took a deep breath, remembering that she had an appointment, one that she wasn't going to miss.

 

Inuyasha busied himself with emails and little things while Kagome took her call. It was a short conversation, one that he couldn't completely hear because the person on the other end was quiet; the person being Hojo. He figured that out by Kagome asking him where he was at.

 

“Excuse me for a moment Dr. Takahashi. I need to use the ladies room.”

 

“Of course.”

 

Kagome quickly left, slamming the door shut behind her. Inuyasha quickly picked up his phone and dialed one of the phone extension numbers he had memorized. He waited several rings, tapping his claws impatiently against the glossy varnish of his desk. What the fuck was taking so long?

 

“What is it Inuyasha? I have an appointment in two minutes.”

 

“Damnit Sango, what the fuck is wrong with Kagome?”

 

“What are you talking about?”

 

“Sex. She hasn't had sex in two weeks, yet she tells me that they've been busy at it.”

 

“I don't know Inuyasha. Why don't you ask her?”

 

“Because that's your fuckin' job.”

 

“Yours too. Don't you try to blame this on me.”

 

“No. She's physically able to have sex. Same with that Hobo guy. This is something else.”

 

Sango sighed. “Look I told her to talk to you before her appointment today and obviously she didn't. I'm not 100% absolutely sure, but after my sessions with her, I purposely didn't give you a summary because I had to do some research. Kagome and Hojo, their relationship is asexual.”

 

“Asexual?”

 

“I think. Kagome asked me about it. The bottom line is that they don't enjoy sex. They have a healthy happy relationship without the worries of sex. Okay? Oh, gotta go.”

 

Kagome not like sex? Fuck.

 

She exuded sexiness he'd never seen in a woman before. Not just because she was physically beautiful, but her scent, her voice, the kindness in her eyes, every cell of her body contributed to an overall sexiness that was rarely seen in today's cosmetic Botox-ed society. But for someone like her to no enjoy sex, that was a crime against nature.

 

Setting the phone back down on the receiver, he glanced over at the new email waiting to be read. He rolled his golden eyes at the sender of said email. Double clicking the bold words of the subject, the email popped up with a brief message and an offending picture.

 

How's Kagome looking today? In case you have a `hard' problem, this picture and accompanying video may help to `soften the blow'.

Miroku

 

Inuyasha immediately trashed the junk mail Miroku sent him. Fuckin' pervert. He should keep his filthy mind in his own gutter instead of sharing it electronically with others. Miroku was right though. He had a big problem. And glancing down at his pants, it was hard. Painfully hard and one that he couldn't easily take care of. Not now and probably not for several hours. Damn, the strain was already starting to hurt.

 

Kagome entered the office as silently as she could, trying to hastily recover from her balancing act on the edge of having another emotional breakdown. A little something she neglected to share with her psychologist. She wouldn't tell a soul about that. But she found herself struggling to keep her emotions properly contained.

 

Inuyasha eyed Kagome the moment that door cracked open. She had splashed some water on her face, though it did nothing to wash away the evidence of tears. She took her seat once again, slipping her phone back into her purse which she now clutched tightly against her stomach. Her eyes never rose to meet with his.

 

He wanted to comfort her, to reach out and take her in his arms, hold her tight little body against his. There was so much he could do the help her, but he couldn't. She was off limits, no matter how much his body ached and yearned for her. Her problems were hers to deal with and Sango, not him, was the one there to help.

 

Kagome glanced up at Inuyasha quickly, her eyes avoiding his and instead focused on his bangs, a neutral zone. “Sorry, we can . . . we can start the appointment now.”

 

He agreed. “Right. Uh, I'll just start over.” Clearing his throat, he glanced down at her file, which he hadn't made a note in yet. Sighing, he figured he couldn't be as nice as he was trying to be. It was time to get nasty.

 

“Are you having sex with Hojo?”

 

Kagome's mouth dropped open and she was sure she heard the crickets creaking. She thought she was prepared for his brash, up front, in your face attitude. She wasn't. Looking away, she fought back the tears that once again fought to break free. Biting down to keep her lip from trembling, she quickly sucked in a rush of cool air.

 

“No.”

 

“Fine. So, that's not working. That's, uh, okay. We'll start you on ovulation regulation medications. Do you prefer oral or injections?”

 

“Oral, please.”

 

Inuyasha reached into his desk, pulling out a tablet of light blue paper. He scribbled out the prescription, signing it with his lazy signature. “Okay, let's see, if I prescribe to you the clomiphene citrate, we'll be looking at another three to six months before we can move forward.”

 

“I can't wait that long!” Kagome cried out.

 

Inuyasha flattened his ears against his head at the shrill in her voice. “Just wait, I'm explaining things to you so you can make a decision. Jeez. Calm down for one fuckin' moment.”

 

“Fine.”

 

“Since you're so eager to get started, we'll have to go to the injectables. Using an injectable along with ART procedures might be our best option. That course of action has several options. The best for you will be hMG and FSH along with IVF.”

 

“Hello, non-geek here.”

 

“FSH is a follicle stimulating hormone, same with hMG. Makes you produce more eggs for me to retrieve. Then I take them to the lab, inject Hojo's swimmers . . . “

 

“I do know what IVF is. I've done this before, remember?”

 

“You asked.” He wrote these notes down in her folder. “You'll have to come here to get your injections.”

 

“I thought I could do them at home.”

 

“Normally, yeah, but unless you have phlebotomy training, I'd rather have a nurse stick you with the needle. Also, when you come in, we can take tests to monitor your hormones and follicles. Now, when does your cycle start?”

 

Cycle? Maybe that was why she was so emotional. Her period was starting soon. “Uh, either tomorrow or the next day.”

 

“Good.”

 

Kagome huffed at his proclamation. Maybe for him it was great, but for her, it was a sign that she wasn't pregnant and that for the next week, it was chocolate therapy and heating pads. She didn't have to worry about sex as she wasn't getting any to being with.

 

“Come in tomorrow and we'll start you on the medications. Then in two weeks I can collect some eggs and we can get you knocked up.”

 

“Gods, the way you say that . . . “

 

“What?”

 

Kagome shook her head. “Forget it.”

 

“Fine. Anyway, I'll need Hojo to stop by in about two weeks so we can get a fresh sample from him. So, in three weeks we could be ready.”

 

“Really? That soon? Wow, that's . . . that's great,” Kagome beamed. She never thought that it could happen that quickly. In a few months, she could finally be with child. Her life, her dreams, it would soon be realized. She'd reach that point where her life could be considered complete.

 

Standing up, Kagome gathered up her purse, making sure she had all of her belongings. Inuyasha stood up as well. He had some time between appointments to get a snack. I wonder if they still have those ice cream bars . . . Glancing over at Kagome, he felt his chest tighten as she bent over to search for something in her purse. Licking his dry lips, he had to notice how her backside curved round and then down. His chest wasn't the only thing tightening up. Fuck.

 

Inuyasha cleared his throat, hoping that Kagome would stand up. He'd need more than an ice cream to cool things down. And there wasn't enough time for a shower, or Miroku's suggestion for everything: The ejaculatory room. He needed Kagome out of his office so he could reestablish control of himself and his youkai hormones.

 

Hearing Inuyasha, Kagome stood up and turned to face him. She wasn't prepared to stand up with him being so close. She gasped at the close proximity to her very tall doctor. Her stormy eyes trailed up along the straight line of plastic buttons of his white shirt to the top one, which was unbuttoned, exposing his fleshy throat.

 

Her eyes watched with great fascination of the bobbing up and down of his Adam's apple as he swallowed. She gulped before her eyes went any further. At the sensation of burning cheeks, she darted her eyes to the carpeted floor.

 

“I . . uh . . . “She looked up and was trapped. Her lips parted as her blue grey orbs dove deep into his molten gold ones. “Yeah,” her soft voice drawled out. “I don't know how to thank you.”

 

This hanyou was going to grant her wish. A smile tugged at her lips as the idea of a baby growing in her womb very soon took a firmer grip on her thoughts. She couldn't stop the bubbling and overflow of joyous emotions that crept out. She had to release it somehow.

 

“Then don't lie to me, ever, if you want me to help you.”

 

“But, I . . . “

 

“You and Homo haven't had sex in two weeks.” Her gasp caused him to tap his own nose. “I can smell it, or the lack of it.”

 

Kagome cheeks glowed with embarrassment. Not because she lied, but because he knew that she wasn't having sex. That she disobeyed his medical order.

 

“Just promise me that you won't lie to me anymore, all right.”

 

Kagome nodded her head as those joyous emotions that had disappeared came back once again. “Thank you,” she cried, flinging herself at him, her arms wrapping around his neck. Her tiny body landed against his without as much as a thud.

 

Inuyasha didn't know what to do. His muscles tensed, his youkai froze. Her bodies, those curves, were flush against his body. Controlling his raging hard on was no longer his main concern. Now, he just needed to make sure he didn't pull her closer to him, let his hands run down the length of her body . . . Not helping.

 

He opened his mouth to respond, but instead, he inhaled that scent of her shampoo. Stupid inu-youkai scent instincts. The smell hung in the air as his mind scrambled to think logically. Think . . . god damnit. . .

 

She's soft . . . warm . . . smell's good . . .

 

Inuyasha couldn't even rely on his own mind to do the right thing. Balling his fists at his side, it was the first thing he could think of that would keep him out of trouble. He then turned his face away, so that his nostrils couldn't inhale her scent directly from its source.

 

His eyes went wide at a person he'd never expected to see standing there, in the doorway of his office. Shit . . .

 

“Oh, so this is the appointment that kept you away from me,” a woman's voice sharply spoke at the doctor with his patient wrapped around him.

 

Kagome went stiff at the sound of the strange woman's voice. She cranked her head around and the color drained from her face at the sight of the busty-leggy lady she found at his office the other day. She looked up at Inuyasha and noticed the uncomfortable `I've been caught' look on his face.

 

Ripping herself away from her doctor, she grabbed her purse. Glancing at the beautiful woman then back to Inuyasha, she stumbled backwards from the tall doctor, the stem of her heel catching in the thick carpet. Thinking quickly, Kagome lifted up her arm, taking a look at her wrist. “I gotta go,” she muttered out as she turned to run out of his office. A string of the words `very', `deeply' and `sorry' jammed together could be heard trailing her exit.

 

Inuyasha just watched her leave without a word, not even a blink. The woman giggled as she stepped deeper into the office. She closed the door behind her before talking. “You're ignoring me.”

 

Realization hit Inuyasha as he awoke from whatever stun he had been put under. “Ah, shit!” he yelled as he ran to the door, opened it and hauled down the stretch of hallway leading him to Saori's desk.

 

“Where's Kagome?”

 

“Gone. She rushed out of here mentioning the bus,” Saori explained as she entered patient information into the clinic database.

 

“She's scheduled to begin FSH and hMG injections tomorrow. Call her and set up an appointment.”

 

“Her file is in your office.”

 

“Keh, her info is also in that computer of yours.” He shook his head at her as he turned to go back to his office. She's the fuckin' secretary . . .

 

Inuyasha entered his office quietly, ignoring the woman who had interrupted his moment with Kagome. Quickly glancing down, he no longer needed anything cold. That problem was taken care of. Sitting down at his desk, he made his final notes in Kagome's folder before closing it and tossing it on top of the stack.

 

“Inu . . . what are you doing?”

Inuyasha turned to his computer, typed up and sent out an email to Saori, Sango and Miroku about Kagome's newest course of fertility treatments.

 

“Working.”

 

“Ah, working.” The woman moved her chair closer to his desk. “No time for me?”

 

“Not really.”

 

“Inuyasha . . . I need to talk to you.”

 

“About what?” He kept his eyes fixed on the computer even though he was done with his email.

 

“That thing . . . I talked to you about. I want to know if you'll still help me.”

 

“What . . . thing?”

 

The woman chuckled as a blush crept along the apple of her cheeks. “Inuyasha, are you asking me to explain it? I've talked to you about it several times.”

 

“Indulge me.”

 

“You're mean. And a bit of a tease.” The woman glanced down and sighed. “I need you,” she softly confessed. “At first, I thought I'd be fine on my own, but, the more I thought about it, the more I realized how wrong I was.”

 

“I can't do this now. I have a patient coming in soon.”

 

The woman snapped her head up with a smile. “So you'll reconsider?”

 

“I already told you no. I've told you no a fuckin' dozen times. Shit Kagura, no more.”

 

Kagura jumped out of the chair, slamming her hands down hard onto his desk. He cautiously eyed the full-fledge wind demoness as she had the ability to actually inflict damage on him. Instead, he tried to keep calm, though it took every ounce of his being to not jump at her, slashing his claws around.

 

“But Inuyasha . . . “

 

“No buts. You . . . you were the one that got yourself into this fuckin' mess of yours. And it's yours alone.”

 

Inuyasha stood up, his youkai saturating the outline of his body as he stared down the demoness.

 

Kagura straightened up, fixing her blouse and her skirt. She nodded her head as she considered Inuyasha's words, and his thickening aura. She knew about his stubbornness, though she was trying to appeal to his human emotions.

 

“Fine, I'll leave, for now.” Kagura pulled her purse up so that the thick leather straps wrapped around her shoulder. “I will be back though. I won't let this go easily Inuyasha.” She turned on her four inch heel and gushed out of his office, the door slamming shut behind her with a gust of wind.

 

Inuyasha fell back down into his chair, his youkai calming down from Kagura's absence. Brushing a clawed hand through is unmanageable silver bangs he let out a large sigh, his body sinking into his leather chair. While he wanted to curse Kagura's presence, her timing was perfect.

 

Tipping his head back, Inuyasha took a slow, steady deep breath. Kagome. He didn't know if he was just simply attracted to her physically, or if it was just because he hadn't gotten laid in what seemed like ages. He didn't know her very well. So it was for that reason that he assumed his tiny infatuation with the taken but unmarried girl even existed. He didn't believe in love at first sight. No, this was just a case of lust at first sight.

 

He wasn't good with lust, and his attempts at love were just as bad. Most of the girls he'd been with were with him for two reasons. One - his money. Yeah, he pulled in a very comfortable payroll, and his expenses were at a minimum. Instead, he signed most of his checks into his savings account. And two - he was different. To the majority of the female species, he was exotic. Something to try and play with until they were bored or their curiosities satisfied.

 

That was the story of his life. Work disenabled him to meet potential dates. Looking for a long term mate was impossible. He stopped going out as the number of failed relationships and one-night stands increased. From that, he grew cheap. No need to spend money on dinners and drinks if he wasn't going out to impressing those with the XX-chromosome. Making babies for other couples was his life.

 

Miroku was right, though he'd never admit to that. And second, he really needed that damned vacation.

 

xxxxx-----xxx-----xxxxx

roshully's note:

Wow, this is a lot longer than I intended, but I just couldn't stop typing. Just to clarify some of the terms:

 

ART - assisted reproductive technologies. Basically, anything that a doctor has to prescribe or a procedure that is done to help a couple become pregnant.

 

FSH - follical stimulating hormone. A hormone either injected or taken orally that stimulates a woman's ovaries so that she'll produce eggs.

 

hMG - human menopausal gonadtropins. Used for controlled ovulation stimulation in conjunction with a FSH.

 

IVF - in-vitro fertilization. Eggs are taken from the ovary through a procedure and then sperm is injected into the egg at a lab. The fertilized egg then goes through a few divisions before the fertilized egg is inserted into the woman's vagina. This will be explained more when Kagome goes in for the procedure.

 

A message from Dr. Sango: Love is love, sex is sex. Don't confuse the two.

 

Responses to reviews:

 

 

I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter.

 

roshully