InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ The Gods' Opinion ❯ Absquatulate ( Chapter 16 )

The Gods' Opinion

 

Disclaimer: Almost all characters belong to Takahashi Rumiko.

 

Warning: This is a mature story and I mean that in more than this story only containing sexual situations and bad language. It contains adult themes.

 

Summary: Kagome is trying hard to have a baby. But when things don't work out, she visits the best fertility doctor in the world. She finds her feelings and beliefs challenged as she struggles to hold onto her dreams.

 

xxxxx-----xxx-----xxxxx

 

Chapter Sixteen Absquatulate

 

This was her secondary sanctuary. It was another place in her hometown where she could escape to when she needed to relax, and if she so desired, to be alone.

 

Last night's graduation party was overwhelming for starters. Before she was able to digest everything Kikyou had said, Hojo really surprised her with the engagement announcement. At the thought of engagement, Kagome lifted up her hand to examine the ring he presented to her last night.

 

It was beautiful, that she couldn't deny. In the middle perched a larger square cut diamond with two smaller triangular cut diamonds hugging the sides of the larger stone, all set in a platinum band. It was just so sparkly. She was curious as to its cost, but knew it was inappropriate to even consider asking. The first time he suggested that they get married, he couldn't afford a ring. Maybe that was why marriage wasn't an issue that was brought up until now.

 

Kagome strolled into the kitchen department of the store and mindlessly started to survey and examine all of the slicers, dicers, and choppers that were offered to her. She loved to see the newest gadgets made available for kitchen use. When buying a new gadget, Kagome couldn't wait to use it to create a meal. It was her toy.

 

It was this environment, this mind frame that allowed her to really think clearly, carefully about all of the recent changes and events in her life: graduation, her probable yet impending pregnancy, her very recent engagement and of course, the things Kikyou had said to her. What Kikyou had said to her was even more shocking and surprising than Hojo's engagement.

 

Kagome didn't really have a relationship with Kikyou, even though Hojo had tried often enough to get them together for dinner. They were two very different people, each being half of Hojo's ideal woman. Kikyou was intelligent and graceful, and a scientist, making her someone Hojo could talk work and recent breakthroughs with. What was Kagome to Hojo? She could cook, laugh and, well . . . that was all she could think of. Hojo could go to Kikyou for work stuff and Kagome figured he could live of the rest of his life with her.

 

Kagome picked up a stainless steel mandoline slicer. She needed a new one. This slicer was probably the only thing she was sure about in her life. Her pregnancy wasn't guaranteed, no matter how much she believed in Dr. Takahashi and his skills. She got the feeling that he would stop short of nothing to make sure they succeeded. That scared her, but at the same time, it calmed her. Here was someone so willing to do anything to make sure her dreams came true.

 

Dreams . . . huh . . .

 

Oo, ice cream sandwich molds. I just have to have one of those.

 

With the package of molds in her cart, Kagome thought about what exactly were her dreams. Sure, she wanted the married-with-children package. She already had her education. However, what she was ready to give up was a career. How important was a career to her? She thought she could hold off on her career until her child was old enough for day care. That would be what, two, three years, almost too long of a break. She would only be that many years behind, and that's if she still wanted to have a career by then.

 

Souta . . . grandfather . . .

 

For some reason, thoughts of job and career always led her to dwell on the two dearest men in her life. They were her biggest fans and harshest critics, but always only wanting to help her to be the best she could be. And with her dreams to be a chef came their deaths. Did they have to die so she could have this fantastic career? Would she be betraying them, dishonoring their deaths if she didn't follow that path?

 

Now she was really lost. What was she supposed to do? What she wanted was for someone to tell her. Right now, she had no direction and she was not feeling like she was in control of her own life.

 

By this point, Kagome was filing her basket with a whole new dinnerware set. The jade, pink and dark amber colors were an interesting mix, though the curry spice color would be nice for the fall and they could all be paired with white or a nice glass set. This was her therapy, though she was only finding things to buy and not the answers she wanted. Were the answers on display as well?

 

In her left hand she held a silicon spatula and in her right, a stainless steel one. Which one was better? Which one was the right one for her? Each had their pros and cons. The silicon one did come in a variety of colors, however, she felt that the stainless steel was more durable. And where she was afraid the stainless steel one might scratch her cookware, the silicon one would be like an insurance plan for her pots and pans.

 

Was there a correct one? What was the right answer? Kagome held up the silicon spatula and studied it. It was pink. She didn't consider herself one of those types of girls, but she wasn't disgusted with the color either. There were other color choices: white, red, blue, green, and yellow. Was there even a right choice to begin with?

 

The same could be asked about the choices she now faced?

 

Baby or no baby?

 

Marriage or no marriage?

 

Career or no career?

 

Souta . . . grandfather . . . mama . . . Hojo . . .

 

Who was she really living for? Her life . . . whose was it? The control over her feelings, that control she lost . . . was it . . . could it be because she was no longer in control of her own life? Had she not recovered from their deaths as she thought she had? Was it really their deaths, or was something else wrong with her?

 

Tossing both the pink silicon and the stainless steel spatulas into her cart, she also grabbed the red one, adding it with the others. Red was a color for luck and the gods knew she needed some of the good kind. She really didn't expect a red spatula to give her good luck in her life, but, it might help her flip better pancakes.

 

Kagome continued to psychoanalyze her life using kitchen utensils as symbols and metaphors to represent the current state of her existence. She had taken an introductory psychology course as part of her nutrition program. Psychological development skipped along hand-in-hand with physical development. However, she wasn't sure that professionals like Sango could use spatulas or ice cream molds to analyze someone's mind. Maybe it was something chefs did.

 

No, chefs didn't do that. Food. Food was the instrument of their analysis. When she felt sad, cookie dough ice cream was her drug. When she was feeling frisky or really happy, she craved spicy foods. The types of food she sought comfort from really depended on if she was feeling content or sleepy, or even experimental. Kagome wandered what she would cook if she went home right now, and what it would mean.

 

With a cart full of things she didn't need, but wanted, she checked out. It was a lot to carry home resulting in a call to the local cab company for an expensive ride home. She wasn't too worried about the cost, it was the ride itself. She had the driver take the roads less traveled so she wouldn't have to watch the driver fret about in traffic.

 

Even though she hadn't found any real answers, she was feeling a little bit better. At least now she had the questions. The words her mother had shared with her at the Shrine during her last visit home came back to her, and as she glanced out the window with the shops and cafes zipping by, she wondered if Souta and her grandfather would say the same thing as well.

 

xxxxx-----xxx-----xxxxx

 

Kagome walked down the bricked path, passing by other families who had come to this place for visits. With so much free time during her relaxing vacation, she took advantage of that free time to do some errands, and make some visits. Finding her spot, she sat down on the tiny patch of overgrown grass and made her self comfortable in the mid-June sun.

 

“I know I'm early,” she started with a smile on her face, but she couldn't help but feel some sense of joy here. “There's so much going on right now, that I wasn't sure if I would be able to come next month, so I'm here now. I hope you don't mind?”

 

Kagome picked at the overgrown grass, tearing the tips of the tiny green blades off and tossing them into the air. “A lot's happened in this last year. So much in fact that I don't know where to really begin. I guess the beginning is a good place to start.” Kagome giggled at her nervousness. She had to reason to be nervous, at this place, surrounded by those she loved.

 

“Uh, I graduated. I'm a certified chef. It feels so weird to be done with that. I had dreamed about going to culinary school for so long and now it's all over with. I can't really accept it yet. But I'm trying to.”

 

She took a gentle grasp of the ring on her finger, twisting it a few times before continuing. “Hojo asked me to marry him. He asked me in front of so many people too. I always thought he was someone who valued his privacy and wanted us to be private. I was surprised. Take a look at this ring. It's so . . . it's way to fancy for me. I bet it cost a fortune. I haven't asked him about the price. It's not like we had gone to jewelry stores to take a look at rings. He just went out on his own. I bet you could burn ants with this stone if you so desired to.”

 

“I'm still working on this pregnancy thing. But I don't really want to talk about that much right now. I'm supposed to be relaxing, taking it easy while I wait for the in-vitro to take. All I can really do is wait and maybe pray. I'll confess that I don't pray as much as I should, with me living at a shrine for a good part of my life.”

 

“Lot of other things are going on. Ayame is almost ready to pop her fourth child out. Kouga is so going to kill someone soon if she doesn't. He just can't take it anymore. I know you would take advantage of that. It wasn't nice of you the last time you teased him. Ayumi is about half way along into her second one. I'm throwing them a joint baby shower next months. One of the reasons why I'm visiting with you now instead of later.”

 

“I went to a Seibu Lions game the other day with Eri. Her flavor of this month is someone who works for them. I really don't know if he's a player on the team or a manager or something. But we went. Had a lot of fun. Oh, Matsuzaka Daisuke no longer plays for them anymore. He was offered a lot of money to go to the US and play. Get this, 50 million US dollars just to talk to him. That's what the team got out of it. I think he went to play for the Boston Red Socks. Eri and I thought about going out to buy Boston Red Sox Tees with his name on it. Ichiro of the Mariners is no longer our sports hero. I still have our Ichiro tees in my closet. I wear it sometimes when I cook in the kitchen.”

 

“I wonder if Dr. Takahashi likes baseball. You'd like him. He is different than Hojo. A lot different. But . . . he's my friend. I could see both of you attending a baseball game together, yelling at the umpire. He seems to be the type would have the perfect mouth for yelling at the lousy calls. Maybe . . . maybe I'll introduce him to you one of these days. But I doubt it. He's a doctor and he's . . . well, he's busy, let's just put it that way.”

 

Kagome lazily looked up at the clear blue sky, her hand shielding her bright eyes from the sun. It was such a nice day out. It was a good idea to come out here for this visit. She glanced back down, catching sight of her ring. She thought she would be happy that she was finally engaged. After the big deal she made about not being a married woman, why was she having doubts about this?

 

Flinging herself out, she hugged that which she was talking to, sobbing out loudly as the gravity of it all pulled her down. “I'm so scared,” she cried out, squeezing the cool object tightly. “I thought this life … I wanted to believe that this was the life I wanted. So…so why I am so unsure about this?”

 

She glanced up at what she was talking to. Never did she expect an answer from them. “Souta …”

 

Curling up into a tiny ball, she hugged the headstone of her brother as she let the tears pour out. She hated crying all of the time. The end of July would mark the second anniversary of his death. But she didn't know what she would be doing at the end of July. Besides, she wanted to talk to him, to try and sort through her feelings and figure something out for sure. Her brother had always been there for her, offering her his support, being the best little brother she could ask for.

 

Kagome always felt better after visiting him and talking with him. And in some way that only her grandfather could really explain, Souta did answer her, offering her advice. It would just appear in her head and then she would move forward. Would Souta be able to help her this time?

 

xxxxx-----xxx-----xxxxx

 

Hojo sat in the reception area of the fertility floor at the Izayoi Clinic as he waited. He started back up at work this week to begin finding qualified candidates for the live species trials, but he was forcefully adamant about making this appointment. He had a lot of making up to do on her behalf for missed appointments and ditching her at the egg implantation procedure. Yeah, he was a jerk, but he was so lucky that Kagome was such a sweet and understanding girl.

 

He felt a little uncomfortable being alone with strange women. Having come over straight from work, Kagome didn't arrive with him. They were to meet here for the big appointment. Today, she was scheduled for her first pregnancy test. And he wouldn't deny that he was a little more than excited for it. Everything in his life was coming together perfectly.

 

His work was progressing faster than he had imagined and he hardly faced any hiccups. A few computer problems here and there, but overall, nothing resulting in a need to redo year's worth of work. From what he and his team had proposed, there was maybe two to three years of live species trials, if that, and then he'd have a drug out on the market. He considered it his part in making an ideal society.

 

Then there was his relationship with Kagome. She was such a vibrant and kind girl, having made her impression on him back in high school. By going to college, he thought he could forget about her, but instead, being surrounded by all of those other girls; none could be compared to Kagome. He was more than surprised to find her in one of his chemistry classes, like fate had intervened.

 

Now, they were engaged to be married and it was even possible that she was pregnant with his child. His life would be on track towards completion. There was nothing else he could ask for in his life, a good career, a wonderful girl, and soon his own family. It was all like he had planned.

 

“Kagome,” Saori called out, standing up from her place behind her desk. “Kagome.”

 

“Uh, she's not here yet,” Hojo said, stumbling over his words as he fumbled out of his seat. He made his way over to Saori's station. “She's supposed to meet me here.”

 

“That's all right Mr. Akitoki. I am well aware of Kagome's attendance record. It's possible that some road accident or construction is keeping her.”

 

“We don't mean to be so bothersome.”

 

“Nonsense. It's fine. It's a test that she can do at any time. Today was just the earliest we could test her for accurate results.”

 

“Oh, okay then.”

 

“If you wish to remain here and wait for her, you may.”

 

Hojo nodded his head as he really had no other choice. If he left, Kagome might show up and then what excuse could he have for not being here with her. That was not the type of man, not the father he wanted to be. And so, he would wait.

 

xxxxx-----xxx-----xxxxx

 

Sango and Miroku hovered around Saori's desk, spying on a very glum-looking Hojo who was still sitting in the reception area. Saori had brought him a cup of tea and a snack from the vending machine. Saori left him in the chair he had been seated in since the morning.

 

“Four hours,” Saori said to the interested party as she sat back down in her seat.

 

“Really?” Miroku gasped out, a bit surprised not only by Hojo's presence, but his persistence.

 

“This isn't like Kagome,” Sango commented as she went through her mail. “Has he tried calling her?”

 

“Yeah, like every fifteen minutes.” Saori's bleak face glanced over at Hojo. “It's really sad.”

 

“Something could've happened to Kagome.”

 

“Miroku, you know you can't say things like that out loud.”

 

“I know and I don't want to be the one that says it, but neither can I be one to just ignore the situation.”

 

“Still . . . “Sango sighed as she held an envelope in her hand, her thumb lightly brushing over its smooth, dry surface. “You don't think . . . “Now she didn't want to be the one who said anything. It was superstitious to say what one was thinking out loud that could possible curse another. Normally she wasn't one to accept the possible existence of ghosts or spirits, but she could never shake off the vibes she felt when saying bad things. Yes, words had an unknown supernatural power about them. That within each noun and verb, an entity existed that could mold and shape the fabric of reality for the one spoken about.

 

“I can think it Sango, but I dare not say it.”

 

Sango misled, just faintly at the man standing next to her, his hand, not on her ass like he usually tried, but on her look back, rubbing comforting circles of warmth. She turned to look at him, losing herself in his soft violet buds that blossomed into concern for both her and Kagome.

 

Since the graduation party, Kagome and Sango's relationship evolved beyond a typical doctor/patient one and into the beginnings of a real friendship. It seemed that Eri, Yuka, Ayumi and Ayame had all given their thumbs-up seal of approval for the psychologist. Those girls really cared for Kagome and were only looking out for her. It was a rare thing to have such bonds, like sisters. And Sango was now a part of that sisterhood. She could no long see Kagome as just her patient, but a real friend in need.

 

“She'll be alright,” Miroku reassured her, wrapping his arm around her waist and pulling her closer to him. “We must believe in her, as her friends.”

 

“Mi . . roku . . . “Sango turned away, hiding her fresh tears.

 

Saori sniffled too, bringing attention to her emotional state. “That was beautiful.”

 

Sango chuckled at Saori. “Yes, it was. And he's right.”

 

“Does Dr. Takahashi know?”

 

Sango and Miroku both looked up at each other. No, he did not know. Neither had spoken to him since he bolted out of Kagome's graduation party. Both had left Inuyasha alone to give him the space he required to get over his attraction to Kagome and to get back to the way things were before Kagome bent over to get a drink at the water fountain. It was an impossible task, but on that Inuyasha had to do for himself.

 

“No,” Miroku calmly replied knowing that the duty was now on his shoulders. “If you see him, tell him . . . “Miroku paused. Both Saori and Sango glanced at him as they awaited his instructions. “Just tell him to come see me.”

 

“Sure thing Dr. Miroku.”

 

“Sango dear, do you have time to accompany me for a light lunch.”

 

“I do actually.”

 

“Saori, if Inuyasha does come looking for us, tell him to call our cells.”

 

“Sure.”

 

Miroku escorted Sango out of the depressing office to try and brighten her spirits with food and his company, though he didn't expect too much. He watched as everyone who had interacted with Kagome be affected by the warmth and kindness of her aura. He hoped for Sango and maybe even Inuyasha's sake, that something horrible had not happen to Kagome, something that took her away from everyone.

 

xxxxx-----xxx-----xxxxx

 

The middle-aged couple sat with their chairs seated right up next to each other, their interlocked fingers and clasped hands resting on the arm rests. They took several deep breaths and let out several frustrated sighs as they told their sad, desperate tale of conception woes.

 

“. . . my wife and I . . . “

 

Wife.

 

Inuyasha let out a sigh as he made squiggly scribbles on the pad of lined yellow paper resting in his lap. The blank ink was nothing more than a blurry blob now than a continuous looping of lines and curves.

 

Kagome was going to be a wife.

 

She was that much further away from him. Not that he really thought he had a chance with her, but, without a ring on her finger, the chance existed. Now, she was off the market, set to marry the man she loved. As much as he wanted her to be happy, he just couldn't. And he figured he never would. All those other guys said that they could be happy as long as the girl was happy were full of shit. And they were cowards too.

 

“. . . it's so hard to believe that a child is possible when we've face so many complications, so many negative tests . . . “

 

Today was that day. Considering the time, she had to have already been tested with the results arriving tomorrow. His clinic liked to test the sample thoroughly, and then double test to rule out any mistakes. Then, she would have to come in a few days after the initial test to make sure the serum beta hCG levels actually increased. He would receive the results of both those tests, call them in for an appointment and then share the news.

 

A positive result meant she was no longer his patient. It would be best to have Miroku be the one to give them the good news so they could immediately start working together, getting her through the morning sickness and beyond. For him, a positive result meant that their friendship would be over because he would initiate its ending.

 

A negative result meant that Kagome and Hojo had a choice. They could either continue with the treatments or walk away. As much as he would be better off if they just walked away, he knew that wouldn't happen. Kagome wasn't the kind of person to give up so easily. And then he would have to suffer along with her as he did all that he could to help her, them.

 

“. . . we were told that this was the place to come. We've traveled a long way to be here and hope you can help us.”

 

Always with the hope. Nobody asked him about his hopes or his dreams. And why should they? They always went somewhere else first, coming to him as their last resort. Hopes and dreams could be tainted by a hanyou's touch. He was a curse to them, a curse to himself.

 

Inuyasha put down his pen as it was his turn to talk. Shame on him for not paying any attention to the couple. There were thoughts about passing this on to a different doctor in the department. If Kagome's test was positive, he would really need that vacation he'd been promising himself for the last few years. Sure, it looked like he was running away. And maybe he was. What as that stuff that Sango was always spouting out? When someone was trapped, cornered, they had two responses, to stand and fight, or to flee: flight or fight. Kagome might not appreciate a fight, so he'd run.

 

He could run and never come back.

 

There was plenty of money in his savings, plus he was heavily invested in the clinic, so money wasn't much of an issue. There were plenty of brilliant and talented people working at the clinic that could easily take over for him. And with the board of directors in direct control of the clinic, the future of the clinic was in good hands. It was that easy to leave.

 

“I won't make you any promises, but we'll do everything we can. Okay?” The couple nodded enthusiastically. “Let's schedule you both for a complete physical this week so we can gather the biological information we need. Saori will work with the two of you for convenient appointment times.”

 

“Thank you so much Dr. Takahashi. This means so much to us.”

 

Inuyasha quickly shrugged his shoulders. “Right. Have a good day.”

 

The hopeful couple left and he couldn't be happier. There was no reason for him to deal with all of this excess baggage. Slamming his files shut, he decided that he just needed to get out, go get a late lunch somewhere. It wasn't good for him to sit around and dwell on Kagome and the other things he couldn't have.

 

Leaving his white lab coat draped over the back of his leather chair, he loosed his hair, making sure he had his wallet, keys and cell phone, and then he took off. The scent of Hojo was still strong, but he'd been gone for a while now. However, he missed the concerned look on Saori's face as he bolted out through the glass doors, heading for the stairwell.

 

Once Inuyasha had disappeared through the stairwell door, Saori picked up her phone and dialed Miroku's number. She wasn't sure if she'd get a hold of him, but she had to try.

 

“The pleasant voice you have the distinct delight of hearing is that of Dr. Miroku. Unfortunately, this is just a poor representation as it is a recording. Leave a message for me.”

 

After that ridiculous message and the beep, she left her message. “Inuyasha has just left. He has no more appointments scheduled, but he didn't ask about Kagome. I-I . . . I'm scared for him Miroku. He looked . . . detached . . . spiritless. I don't think he would, but . . . I don't know what he would do.” Saori hung up the phone, trying to keep herself composed. It'd worry the patients if she started to cry for her boss.

 

xxxxx-----xxx-----xxxxx

 

 

Like a good little puppy, he returned to week each day even though it was getting harder to as the days counted down to the moment when Kagome's tests would be ready. Each day he had to mentally and sometimes physically prepare himself for that folder to arrive, the one with her name on it. And while it was a relief when that folder wasn't on his desk, too many days had passed by and he couldn't help but worry that something was wrong.

 

Even his youkai seemed out of phase.

 

He left his office t talk to Saori. It had been a week and nothing still. That was too long to wait for the test results. The lab was much more diligent than that. Saori was quietly working at her desk; the soft melody of her music was accompanied with her sporadic humming.

 

“Saori.”

 

Saori looked up from the computer and smiled at her boss. “Yes.”

 

“Is there any reason why I haven't received Kagome's test results yet?”

 

“Uh . . . “Uh-oh. Saori averted her eyes to the shocking pink sticky note left for her. It was a reminder of what to do when this happened. She put on a fake smile hoping she could trick him just this once. “Dr. Miroku would like to talk to you about that.”

 

“Shit.” So it ended up positive. He wanted to be happy that he was successful, but it wasn't happening.

 

“Don't . . . “Saori stopped herself.

 

“Don't what?”

 

“Eh, don't cuss out Dr. Miroku too much. Sango hasn't given him an answer about the moving in thing.” Thank the gods for water cooler gossip. “He's a little sensitive right now.”

 

“Like that's ever stopped me before.” Inuyasha left his secretary to work as he took the stairs down to the gynecology floor where Miroku's office was.

 

So, he'd finally broken down and asked Sango to be monogamous. It seemed he had missed a lot by avoiding everyone and everything by drowning his shitty emotions in huge bowls of cheap ramen and intense exercising. It was safer than drinking, but damn, his body still hurt from the overexertion of the physical punishment. Luckily for him, Miroku was in his office.

 

“Oi.”

 

Miroku looked up and at seeing Inuyasha, gulped hard. He knew exactly why the hanyou was here and knew that he couldn't lie to him either. Inuyasha's demonic senses were really going to do the both of them in. Miroku had envisioned his death at the petite, yet mighty hands of the lovely Sango, not a pissed off hanyou. In how many ways did the gods have to curse him?

 

“Inuyasha, what brings you down to this floor?”

 

“Heard Sango hasn't given you an answer yet.” Inuyasha sat down on the couch in the OB/GYN's office. It was comfy, but he preferred his own chair.

 

“Oh, you heard that. I asked her over the weekend. She was surprised that I was the one who asked.”

 

“No doubt about that.”

 

“I'm taking her `let me think about it' as not a no answer, but a definite maybe.”

 

“You're always the optimist.”

 

“Well,” Miroku paused, hoping he was ready for this, “I know you didn't come to cheer me up. So what brings you here?”

 

“Kagome's test results.”

 

“Kagome's test results.”

 

“Did I stutter? Yeah. It's been a week. The lab rats down there work fast.”

 

“Inuyasha . . . “

 

“Miroku,” Inuyasha interjected, pausing to take a breath to ready and steady his being. “I can take it.”

 

“Are you sure? I don't want my office to be declared a state of emergency.”

 

“Fuck just . . . Just get it over with.”

 

“Fine.” And Miroku told it to him straight and honestly, everything he could from the beginning.

 

xxxxx-----xxx-----xxxxx

 

Hojo opened the door wanting to rid the barrage of knocking and rapid doorbell ringing. It only worsened his headache. He was surprised. “Dr. Takahashi.”

 

Inuyasha barged into the apartment. “I want to talk to Kagome.”

 

“She's not here.”

 

“Where is she then? Her mother's?”

 

“I-I . . . I don't know.”

 

“What? What do you mean?”

 

“She's gone Dr. Takahashi. I don't know what else to say. I waited for her, the day of the appointment, but she never showed up. When I returned here, she was already gone.”

 

“I don't . . . you mean . . . “

 

“All of her belongings, her clothing . . . her kitchen . . . gone.”

 

Inuyasha didn't know what to say. He never expected this. “Did she leave a note or something?”

 

Hojo reached into his pocket and pulled out a softened, crumbly piece of paper. Inuyasha's ears twitched at the small jingle sound of soft metal meeting the hardwood floor. Ignoring the sound, he unfolded the paper, catching the salty stains of her tears decorating the pink piece of paper.

 

I am a broken woman, unworthy

I am so sorry

I do not deserve your love or your forgiveness

 

“Did you call her mother? Her friends?”

 

Hojo took the note back from Inuyasha. “Yeah. No one . . . no one has heard from her.”

 

“What about her job at the school?”

 

“She's not teaching there anymore.”

 

Inuyasha really couldn't believe it. This wasn't the Kagome he knew. What happened? Something had to have happened to trigger this. It . . . he was at a loss. “Can I use your bathroom?”

 

“Yeah, go ahead.”

 

Inside the tiny room he stared at himself in the mirror. Kagome's scent was mostly faded from this place. Turning on the faucet, he splashed some cold water onto his face as he digested this revelation. Had Kagome really just ran away? He never figured her to be one to give up so easily like this. But beyond that, she just disappeared.

 

Turning the water off, he leaned down to use the hand towel to dry his face when a rusty smell waft up to his nose. Taking a glance down, he noticed that it had to be coming for the waste basket just below. From his general chemistry courses, he knew about how certain metals oxidized when left in the open air for a given amount of time. This was the smell of corroding metal, specifically iron. Iron left out in the open would be bombarded by oxygen molecules. Iron was also the key element for oxygen bonding in hemoglobin, in other words, blood. This was Kagome's blood.

 

He dug through the pile of discarded tissues and other bits of garbage until he reached the very bottom of the basket, finding a pair of white cotton panties that was folded in a manner to conceal something. He set the folded material down on the counter so he could careful unwrap it. What he saw explained Kagome's seemingly bizarre behavior.

 

Cradled in the crotch was something that pained him to look at, yet, another part of him was elated to see the darkened rusted umber chunk of tissue speckled with grayish-blue pieces. The beginnings of Kagome and Hojo's child was evident, however, it was all over now. It probably happened that morning, the day the first test was scheduled, only for her to discover the results in this manner.

 

Wadding the material up, he tossed it back into the waste basket and left the bathroom. He found Hojo sulking on the couch, clutching onto a framed picture of him and Kagome during a happier moment. Inuyasha wondered if he should even say something.

 

“I didn't know. She, she was packing her stuff up right in front of me and I didn't ask. I just assumed she was reorganizing.”

 

Inuyasha shook his head. Nothing he could say would reach Hojo. He left the broken man alone in the apartment, closing the front door shut behind him. His hand lingered on the door knob as his thoughts drifted back to his discovery. How many times did she wake up only to see that? As a male, he could never understand how she felt.

 

“Did you come by to offer some comfort to Hojo?”

 

Inuyasha glanced over to see an elderly woman making her way down the hallway. “Uh, no, I was looking for Kagome actually.”

 

“Oh, yes, poor girl. She cried so hard last week when she moved out.”

 

“You saw her?”

 

“Oh yes. She gave me some of her plants as well as some of her cooking. Enough to last me a week or so. Kagome was worried that I might not be ale to care for myself with her not being here. Such a sweet girl.”

 

“Do you know where she went?”

 

“No, but I didn't ask either. She said she was going to find herself. That there were signs that showed her she was not meant to be here. She is still young and has time to do that. I don't worry about her though. She had a capable man with her.”

 

“Man? What man? Hojo?”

 

“It wasn't Hojo. He was . . . confident. They were obviously very good friends. He helped her move her stuff out and they left together.”

 

“Uh, thanks.” Inuyasha wandered past the woman as he made his way to the stairs. There was more he couldn't believe. Kagome wasn't cheating on Hojo, but who was this man? A potential love interest? Damn. He just could not accept any of this. No part of him could.

 

Now was a perfect time to take that vacation. As much as he wanted to scour the city, even the country for her, he was most likely the last person she wanted to see. He promised her a child and he failed her. Instead, she had to fail another loss. According to her records, that was the ninth failure. Nine times she lived a dying dream.

 

xxxxx-----xxx-----xxxxx

 

 

He made his way back to the office so he could scratch off a few weeks on the calendar for a vacation. There were only a few open cases he still had which he could easily pass on to some other doctor. They often complained that they weren't getting enough work.

 

“Oi Saori,” he greeted his secretary.

 

“What can I do for you Dr. Takahashi?”

 

“First, shuffle my appointments to other doctors. I'm taking a vacation.”

 

Saori snorted out a loud cackle. “April Fool's was a few months ago.”

 

Inuyasha growled at the girl, quickly silencing her. “I'm fuckin' serious here, okay?”

 

“Of course. Anything else?” She quickly retained her cool demeanor at the tone of her boss's sharp voice.

 

“Yeah, what exactly is our payment policy?”

 

“I don't think I understand your question?” she cocked her head to the side as she inquired about what it was he was really asking about.

 

“If . . . if we fail . . . if I fail at getting the couple pregnant, what's the deal with that?”

 

“Uh, it's not like we have a buy one, get one free deal. Is there a specific couple you had in mind? I could access their file . . . “she said as she turned back to the computer to search through the records.

 

“Kagome's.”

 

“Okay, give me a sec.” She quickly typed in Kagome's name and patient number. The file appeared on the screen, and Saori examined what was stored on the computer. Her brows crossed as she found something that she didn't even know was there. “Huh, that's strange.”

 

“What?”

“Well, it says here that her balance is zero.”

 

“Zero, as in free? I don't do shit like this for free.”

 

“No, not free. Zero as in paid. In full to be exact.”

 

“Already paid? When?”

 

“Let's see. Paid by check dated a week ago. Looks like whoever paid it went directly to the accounting department and took it up with billing. But they haven't posted a copy of the check into her records yet. They usually do that at the end of each billing cycle.”

 

“Anything else?”

 

“No. Oh, wait. There's a note here at the bottom of the bill. It mentions a contract Kagome signed.”

 

“Yeah, I know about that. Her and Hojo were supposed to sign a contract.”

 

“Let me bring it up.” A few keystrokes entered and an electronic copy of the contract appeared on the screen. “Uh, according to this, he didn't sign it. Only her name is listed.”

 

“Are you sure?”

 

“I'm looking at the copy of it right now.”

 

“And the other signatures?”

 

“Yup, just one. See for yourself.”

 

Inuyasha walked around the desk and bent down next to Saori so he could look at her computer screen. His claws dug into the back of her chair. “Sneaky bastard. I'll kill him.” Inuyasha had forgotten about the contract and didn't know that Kagome had taken care of it herself, going to the one person that shouldn't have gotten involved with this case to begin with. But, that would wait until after he got back from his vacation.

 

xxxxx-----xxx-----xxxxx

 

roshully's note: Sorry for the short chapter. But I ended it here because I really couldn't stretch it out anymore. So, you can all celebrate, finally. Kagome and Hojo are no more. They are disbanded.

 

And the story continues . . .

 

The title of this chapter is just a fancy way to say `departure'. It looked cool since it has the letter `q' in it.

totally

 

And now for the replies:

 

localsamurai - I'm evil? Okay. I can live with that. For now. No, Hojo didn't just propose because of Inu and Kag's blooming friendship. He loves her in his own shallow, oblivious manner. Hojo is sweet, but he's not really selfish in the normal sense. He believes in his career and believes that it can somehow help out mankind, eh, species-kind. And Kagome understands that to some degree, which is why she is still with him and still supports him as well as his career. Remember, she said that they were going to find the balance together. We all have to bend a bit in a relationship to make it work. There are my words of wisdom. Thanks for the review.

 

Sassa - I wasn't trying to be super dramatic with Inu's reaction, but I wanted it to be honest. I have some life experience, but not a whole lot. I'm shy, so I'm not very social. But I live when I can. I am glad that you can use this story to help your friend out. Sometimes we don't know how to express how we are feeling directly, and sometimes a medium, such as a story, a painting, poem or song are mediums we can use to start a dialogue. This is really good with kids or those that have to overcome language barriers. To confess, I was in therapy as a kid because they thought I had some personality disorder or something. I guess that is just their fancy way of saying that I'm shy. No, Kagome would never tell Hojo about what Kikyou said to her. It would cause a lot of problems. One is that Kikyou is Hojo's superior and confronting her would or could put his work at stake. That's something he'd never do. Two, Kagome doesn't like to cause problems among people. Yeah, if this was real life, well, actually, I'm sure if I asked around enough, I could find some people in my hometown that have done something like this, or as messed up as this. I'm glad you like this. Thanks for your review and tell your friend good luck.

 

Autumn_the_Reviewer - Noticeable typos have been taken care of. As for the Kikyou/Hojo cheating theory: I never, ever, ever, never intended for Hojo to cheat on Kagome. I truly do not believe he has the capacity to cheat. We've all described Hojo as simple and oblivious, and I believe that these qualities about him just won't allow him to cheat on Kagome. Nor do I think Kikyou would be the type of woman to settle for a taken man. I could see her being like Demi Moore's character in `Disclosure', but if I borrow her characteristics from the manga/anime, then she's about purity, so that counts Kikyou out of the whole cheating thing. And I thought this would be a clever way to shut down the cheating theory, to have Inuyasha scent her purity. I might have been slightly overdramatic with the proposal, but then when I thought more and more about it, I think that Hojo is aware of how important these people are in Kagome's life and that proposing to her in front of those special people would make the whole thing more special, instead of over-romantic. Whether or not Hojo just proposed because he may have felt threatened by Inu and Kag's friendship never crossed my mind. I don't think that's a part of Hojo's character either. Ouch (to your reference about seeing someone you like/love propose to someone else in front of you). Double ouch. Thanks for your review.

 

Seiteki Tenshi - Did she or didn't she? Yeah, I don't know. Guess that's something for another chapter. A lot of couples have communication problems which is funny because isn't this called the `age of communication'? There are cell phones, email, Blackberrys, faxes, Fed-Ex… I'm trying to write this from the point of view of the Japanese culture, which I know I'm not doing a whole lot of. But when it comes to families, they haven't fully accepted working mothers as we have here in the US/Canada and parts of Europe. Someone can correct me on that if they wish. So, there is still this pull towards a more traditional family, especially since they can afford it. It is something Kagome needs to think about. Which is what she did this chapter. This was really a reflective paragraph and what to do when you've made a decision about your life. I'm glad this story makes your day. Thanks for your review.

 

musicmuse18 - Hojo does not know about Inu's attraction to Kagome. Kinda like how in the anime Hojo doesn't know that Kagome just doesn't like him like that. Kikyou does not want Hojo. She is his boss and she sees great potential in his drug as a benefit to society and what she said to Kagome was how she truly feels. Kagome has more things to work out. This chapter was kinda the beginning of all of that. Thanks for your review.

 

gillster - Yeah, I think the engagement was somewhat to be expected. I always saw Hojo as a very traditional guy and that means marriage before a baby, but with the difficulties they had, things got a little out of order, but, it didn't mean he was never going to try to marry her again. I'm sorry you got grounded. In between the updates you can try to do your homework. It's important. I would almost go as far as not updating until you got your report card straightened out, but other people read this too, so, I'll just ask you to pay some extra attention to school. I almost became a teacher, but, it just wasn't for me. I've been thinking about maybe playing around with an Inu/Kikyou thing, but haven't decided yet. So, I won't say. The thought is there, just because it created drama in the manga/anime as well. Thanks for your review and remember homework.

 

Inusbabe - I really think that's a true and honest reaction. I might have overdone it, but he did cry for her in the manga, so, yeah, I don't think I'm that far out of character for him. This chapter was about reflection and inner thoughts. But, her project will come up in a later chapter. Yeah, Kikyou is good for saying things that cause drama. We'll see if she can make it back or not. Thanks for your review.

 

bettychan - Take a deep breath. Kagome is not going to marry Hojo. My story is no longer ruined. I hope this is okay with you. Not like I'm going to change it, but, this is what I've given ya. Take it or leave it. Thanks for your review.

 

Geminia - I'm not killing Hojo. That's the cheap way out. Just like having him cheat with Kikyou. Instead, he might end up drowning in his own tears. But, I don't know if he has deep enough emotions to cry that much. But, as of this chapter, Hojo is gone. Thanks for the review.

 

cwillia - A lot of women make that choice. I did this paper on gifted girls. They all had the potential and the drive to be whatever it was that they wanted and a lot of them ended up giving up that dream for family. So it happens more than we may realize. Now, larger companies offer daycare so that women can still have both, but still, a lot of them prefer to be at home with their children. It may look like she's only doing this for Hojo, but also, Kagome looks to her mother and sees that her mother is a happy woman who was content with raising her children without having to worry about career. Now the manga never tells us anything about Mama Higurashi's past, so I can only speculate. It doesn't feel kosher because Kagome is having a hard time letting the cooking dream go because she feels that she owes it to her grandfather and brother to do it. This chapter allows us to kinda see into her mind, to see her thoughts and how she thinks things out. Kikyou didn't really need Hojo's permission to say what she said. Kikyou thought she was helping them all out, in her own brutally honest way. She is looking out for Hojo's drug, something she has invested something into, so she has her own interests to look out for. Yeah, Kagome has some idea about how to act in a situation. Kagome also doesn't want to say anything rude back to Kikyou because it could jeopardize Hojo and his work. Eri is open for anyone and as much as Miroku would like to be, I think this was a way for Sango to almost test Miroku's feelings for her. Thanks for your review.

 

InusGurl4 - I'm not killing Hojo. But I'll make him wallow around for a bit. And I'm not killing Kikyou, even though in the anime/manga she's already dead, I have no reason to just kill anyone off. Thanks for your review.

 

star555555528 - Welcome to the reviews. I'm happy to hear from you. I'm glad you are enjoying this story and I hope to hear from you again. Thanks for your review.

 

Togu - Welcome to the reviews as well. Well, Kagome almost did what you suggested. We'll see next chapter what she does next. Stay tuned. And thanks for your review.

 

Have a good weekend.

 

roshully