InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ The Gods' Opinion ❯ A Way Bad ( Chapter 20 )

The Gods' Opinion

 

Disclaimer: Almost all characters belong to Takahashi Rumiko.

 

Warning: This is a mature story and I mean that in more than this story only containing sexual situations and bad language. It contains adult themes.

 

Summary: Kagome is trying hard to have a baby. But when things don't work out, she visits the best fertility doctor in the world. She finds her feelings and beliefs challenged as she struggles to hold onto her dreams.

 

xxxxx-----xxx-----xxxxx

 

Chapter Twenty A Way Bad

 

Sunday morning, as Kagome prepared breakfast for her mother and herself, she quietly hummed, smiling, but staying mostly quiet. Mama Higurashi didn't press her daughter for any scandalous information about her daughter's date. Kagome was old enough to make any decision for herself, or if she would seek out motherly advice or not. So for now, she'd just sit back and let her daughter be a grown-up. A happy one at that.

 

“How do you want your eggs?”

 

“Scrambled,” Mama Higurashi replied before lifting up her teacup to finish off the brew.

 

“Anything in it or plain?”

“Plain is fine.”

 

“You sure?”

 

“Yes. Kagome, this isn't a restaurant. You're supposed to relax when you're home.”

 

“I know that. It's just that I don't actually get to cook that often.”

 

“Now that's not true.”

 

“Really? The last time I cooked at the restaurant was…well, when Inuyasha first ate there. Did I tell you about that?” Her mother shook her head so Kagome continued. “He demanded to have ramen served to him. Ramen.”

 

“Well of course he would. Didn't he want payment from you in the form of meaty broth and thin, curly egg noodles?”

 

“You remembered that?”

 

“You didn't put caviar in it, did you?”

 

“No.”

 

“He's a simple man that knows what he wants.” Mama Higurashi was proud of her daughter for seeing Inuyasha for the first time after six months and not having any thoughts of revenge, but only that of friendship. Some girls would think to seek revenge on someone that could be blamed for a terrible event that happened, if that someone weren't completely responsible for said event. Kagome did not feel that way about Inuyasha.

 

“He is simple,” Kagome muttered, setting down two plates of scrambled eggs, rice and sausage patties. One good thing about working at a restaurant: leftovers. “He's not simple-minded. He's actually really perceptive.”

 

“I'm sure he has to be for his job.” Mama Higurashi placed her chopsticks down on the table. “A second date?”

 

“Mama!”

 

“Sorry, I couldn't hold out any longer.” The elder woman giggled like a tween girl before resuming her breakfast.

 

“I really don't know. I'd like to take things slow. I mean, I just ended it with Hojo and we'd been together for what…five…six years.”

 

“What do they say? One month for every year?”

 

“Strange conversion. But…I don't want to waste my time.”

 

“Are you saying Hojo was a waste of time?”

 

“No. I-I don't know. I think nine in-vitros was a waste of time. Being with a man that couldn't satisfy my needs may have been a waste of my time.”

 

“You can't regret the past, you can only learn from it. What happened with Hojo may or may not happen with Inuyasha or any other guy for that matter. Just let things happen naturally.”

 

“I don't want to rush it. I don't want it to crash and burn. I don't want a fling. I don't think I could `fling' even if I wanted to.”

 

“No one is telling you to do that, however, neither can you control it. Well, you can sure try.” Mama Higurashi gave her daughter a smile that she hoped would relieve some of the anxiety Kagome was feeling. “These are good eggs.”

 

“Oh, okay.” Kagome picked and nibbled at her breakfast. At times, she broke out into a smile, blushing, and at other times, she'd frown. This whole dating thing was complicated. And among all of her friends, Sango would be the one who she could relate to the most right now, though only barely. Sango was in a semi-stable relationship with Miroku, but it was somewhat of a new relationship. Yuka, Ayumi and Ayame were all married. And Eri didn't date because dating meant you were interested in something meaningful and, God forbid, long-term.

 

The only real single people she knew were those at work. Rin was the only girl she was close to that she felt comfortable enough to share intimate details with. And Jakotsu as well. Rin and Jakotsu were a weird sort of tag team when it came to gossip and dishing out advice. They could be on the radio.

 

“Any plans for today?”

 

Kagome shrugged her shoulders. “Some laundry. Need to pack my clothes for the week. Oh, and go over the receipts for the week since I skipped out on Saturday night.”

 

“You have to do that today?”

 

“Yeah. I'm in meetings tomorrow since April is coming up and some of the students working for me will be graduating, so we're creating evaluation forms and creating a procedure where the students would have to actually cook something from their portfolios at the restaurant.”

 

“I never thought tests could be delicious.”

 

“We don't. It terrifies us. There's performance anxiety for the students when they first start at the restaurant until they get comfortable, but a test is different. I am so glad I don't have to do what they do.”

 

“It'll be fine. Will Shippo be graduating this year?”

 

“No. He's decided to stick around and do the pastry track, as well as the confections. He's youkai, so he has the time.”

 

“Shippo and Rin like to stop by and bring me leftovers.”

 

“That's because you're their mama. You're everyone's mom.”

 

“It's not that. I just think that they're worried about you.”

 

“Them? Worried about me? What are they worried about?”

 

“Probably all of the time you spend at the restaurant. They're young, though. Nor do I think they understand how important this is to you.”

 

“I think Jakotsu's older than me.”

 

“Well, he just thinks that it's wrong for a beautiful, mid-twenty-something female to not be out looking for Mr. Right. But he's such a doll.”

 

“He wants to be your life partner.”

 

“Tell him that's okay.”

 

“Mama!”

 

“What? He's a sweet boy. Oh, don't worry about him or me or Rin. We're all adults and can take care of ourselves, or at least I can take care of Rin, Shippo and Jakotsu for a while.”

 

“That's what they both really want.”

 

“I know. But what do you want?”

 

“How do you do that?”

 

“What do I do?”

“You can completely change the subject just like that.”

 

“I'm just curious Kagome, about you. I'm sure any of your other friends are concerned about the time you spend at the restaurant. But what they all need to understand is that this is what you want.”

 

“Well…yeah…that's true, but…but I might want other things too, someday. I'm just trying to get back on my feet. I'm almost 26 years old. I live at the restaurant I work at and then at my mother's place on the weekends. I have very little money saved up because of the costs of the fertility treatments. I just got out of a long-term relationship. I'm just trying to find my own pace.”

 

“I know dear. I know. Though I still can't understand why Hojo couldn't help out with the cost of those treatments.”

 

“Because I chose not to let him. He practically paid for everything else, the previous treatments, the rent, utilities, food. I felt so bad at times, like I was some freeloader and not his girlfriend.”

 

“He was just taking care of you.”

 

“I know, but I'm a capable person.”

 

“You can't do it all alone.”

 

“What about you? You do it all by yourself.”

 

“No I don't. I have you, and my friends, our family, the Shrine patrons. Everyone contributes in their own way.”

 

“I don't feel like I've really lived.”

 

“You live everyday. You're living now. Life isn't always about those large events that drastically reshape our livelihood. The little things count for something. I think you're trying too hard Kagome. If Inuyasha isn't the one, so be it, but at least you'll know and won't dwell on it ten…twenty years from now.”

“Mama…”

 

“Yes?”

 

“You've lived at the Shrine for way too long.”

 

“I know. But I'd like to think of it more along the lines that your grandfather, father, and brother are still here…and are helping me to guide you.”

 

“Oh Mama…”

 

“Don't cry. It's a happy thought.”

 

“I know. These are happy tears.”

 

“Good. Now, let's get started on your laundry and then we can curl up by the fire and drink some of that hot chocolate of yours while you work on receipts.”

 

“Okay, we'll do that and the dishes.”

 

xxxxx-----xxx-----xxxxx

 

Kagome got up early Monday morning, lugging her overstuffed suitcase to the restaurant first before heading off to the culinary institute for a day full of meetings with various instructors about the students currently working, as well as those who applied to work, at KenSen. KenSen was a wildly popular place to work among the students, a surprise to Kagome.

 

That surprise was quickly pushed aside as the daunting task of evaluations, documents and other mundane activities that would last until dinnertime loomed. Kagome grabbed something quick from the convenience store near the school before making it back to the restaurant, only to look forward to doing this week's inventory. Monday nights were always spent in the kitchen and the supply rooms, double-checking the amount of inventory. She then compared this to the specials of the week, just in case something had to be ordered.

 

Dressed in oversized sweatpants, a tank top, and a zip-up hoodie, she started her counting of the fridge and freezer items. It was during these humdrum tasks that her mind started to wander to her date with Inuyasha Saturday night. And that kiss…what a kiss! She was too embarrassed to tell him that she'd never been kissed like that before. The feel of his body, his soft tender lips, and the way he surprised her with it set aflame a rawer side to her, as well as one intense pillow-biting orgasm she brought on herself. She didn't want to wake her mother.

 

What really threw her for a loop was that he had confessed to her that he'd wanted to kiss her since he first saw her. But wasn't he with that other woman? Kagome sighed as she checked the `manufactured by' dates on the packages. Maybe he was dating her, but wasn't in a real relationship with that woman. Kagome didn't really know how that all worked. She really hoped it wasn't a pickup line. At least it was better than `your eyes are really pretty.'

 

“What to do? What…to…do?” Kagome said to herself as she made a note to purchase extra chili oil since the cold snap was forecasted to hover about the city for another week.

 

She really liked him, but wasn't sure if she could trust her own feelings. Her mother made some good points, but it was hard. She had her doubts. Those doubts she considered to be normal. What did she know about dating, really? Once she had explained everything to her friends, once they knew how Hojo really was, they went on and on about how Kagome's relationship was a dud and that she hadn't experienced the same kind of dating they did.

 

And was Inuyasha that kind of dating?

 

Kagome tossed the package of tofu back into the fridge, grunting at the frustrations her mind was causing her. Why was dating so difficult? She never thought dating Hojo was difficult. But, Hojo was different. She learned how different he was through the years, and it wasn't until the very last years that it became apparent just how different he really was. But Inuyasha was not Hojo.

 

Boy, is that an understatement.

 

Kagome didn't know how Inuyasha felt about the date. Heck, he kissed her right off the bat and even said that if things still went bad, at least he got a kiss. She didn't know if she should be flattered or hurt by that statement. He didn't try anything after he dropped her back off at the Shrine. Nor had he called yet. Yuka and Eri both explained to her about this male urban myth of the two-day phone call. That a guy believes he needs to wait at least two days after a date to call if…IF the guy felt a connection. However, women's magazines said that guys like a direct girl.

 

She could call. She knew that. But she wanted to avoid it at the same time. What if he didn't enjoy himself? What if he didn't feel a connection and that was that? If that was the case, would she be forever doomed to be stuck as `the friend'? She didn't think she could just be his friend if she had these kinds of feelings and reactions to him every time she saw him. That would be too hard.

 

The only thing she could do, other than her inventory, was to see if he showed up tomorrow for lunch. She didn't know if it would be worse over the phone or in person. But why was she expecting only the worst? She figured she had a happier outlook on life, always seeing the good before the bad. But not for her. She tried at one time, but gave up. Thinking about the worst prepared her for the worst.

 

She finished up the rest of the inventory, not dwelling too much on the depressing `what-ifs.' And no matter how prepared she thought she could be, life wasn't like that. Did that mean she shouldn't bother herself about what horrible things could happen? She didn't know.

 

Walking into her office, she automatically yawned at the sight of the oversized couch. Never had she thought that having this career would mean living out of the office. Sure, she could get an apartment close by, but it would only end up as an expensive storage unit. Sleep and storage, but it wouldn't be a place she would live at. The Shrine was free and so was her office. It would do for now as she worked on saving up her money.

 

Kagome pulled out her pillow and blankets, transforming the blue-colored couch into her bed. She had grown accustomed to the make-shift bed, but remained firm in her belief that it could never replace a real one. Sleeping on her bed back at the Shrine was enough to satiate her needs every week.

 

Tonight, she quickly fell into a shallow, dreamless sleep.

 

xxxxx-----xxx-----xxxxx

 

“Is this for real?”

 

Miroku slyly grinned as he nodded to affirm Inuyasha's question regarding a letter that came their way this morning. Apparently, it was mislabeled and spent part of Monday stranded at the wrong location. This news didn't settle well for Inuyasha at all.

 

“Today?”

“Yeah, well, this afternoon. It was already approved by the board.”

 

Inuyasha tossed the letter onto his desk and let out a heavy sigh. “Fuck. I guess there's nothing else to do.”

 

“We need to get our stuff, but, it's a go.”

 

“What time?”

 

“Uh,” Miroku pulled out his copy of the letter and scanned its contents, “two.”

 

Inuyasha glanced at the clock in the corner of his computer screen. It was just after eleven. Pushing his chair back, he made sure he had his stuff and quietly rushed out of his office.

 

“Inuyasha…” Miroku called out, knowing that the hanyou heard him and it was clear that Inuyasha was ignoring him. The only problem Miroku had was that he didn't know why. And that meant something was going on.

 

xxxxx-----xxx-----xxxxx

 

“Shippo!”

 

“What?”

 

“Where's your dessert proposal? I need it so I can make the orders.”

 

“It's in my locker in the break room.”

 

Kagome sighed as she thought about her situation. When she arrived back from her morning workout, she was sent an e-mail about a promotion for the restaurant involving desserts starting in about two weeks, or three, if needed. This week, she needed to place orders and create an advertisement. It was a whole lot of work that she hadn't been warned about during the meetings yesterday.

 

“Okay. When you get the chance, bring it to me. I'll be in my office. At least, I think I will be. If I'm not, just leave it on my desk.”

 

Shippo just waved at her as a sign that he got her message as she made her way back into her office. Today was hectic. Something about the cold sent people into the restaurant this week; when last week, they scampered home instead of going out. Kagome just couldn't figure these people out. But, if the frigid air brought them in, that was good. But what she was really waiting for was spring. She really wanted to see the restaurant into the spring season.

 

Sitting down at her desk, Kagome rechecked her e-mail, seeing if anything new had arrived in the past ten minutes. Once Shippo gave her his group's dessert menu, then she could really get to work. She planned to outsource the advertising to a nearby school, trying to keep everything about the restaurant a true learning experience, as well as keeping the cost low.

 

A knock at the door and a cutesy call of her name tore Kagome away from the computer screen to find Rin standing there. “You busy?”

 

Kagome blinked a couple of times, shaking her head. “Rin…what are you doing here?”

 

Rin giggled. “I work here silly.”

 

“It's lunch.”

 

“Yeah, I know. Actually, I'm not here to work. I'm here to see my schedule.”

 

“Schedule?” Kagome paused before turning back to the computer. “This week's?”

 

“No. Next. If you have it made out yet.”

 

“Sorry I don't have it right now. Give me five, ten minutes to double-check it before I print out a copy.”

 

“Okay. No problem. I'll be upstairs with Jak.”

 

Kagome smiled at the cheery young girl and waited until she had left before returning to her work. Today was already one of those days. She was really anxious about lunch later on and thought about making sure she had plenty of work to do just in case. Something needed to keep her mind busy enough.

 

And before she got a chance to get started again, another knock at her door. And her mother wondered why she spent so much time here. “The schedule will be out in a few minutes,” she said as she searched through the files on her computer for the folder that contained all of the information for schedules.

 

“You're putting me on a schedule?”

 

Kagome quickly glanced up to find Inuyasha casually leaning up against the door frame. His thick silver hair was braided back, but he wore that leather jacket of his. He had been taking the braid out when coming to their lunches. It just had to be one of those days.

 

“Inuyasha.” Kagome glanced at the time to make sure that four hours hadn't already passed by. “Hi! What…what can I do for you?” she asked as she managed to escape from her chair to stand up.

 

Inuyasha casually shrugged. “Not much.” He pushed himself up and crossed his arms over his chest. “I stopped by to tell you that I won't be able to make it lunch today.”

 

“Oh, well, that's okay. We're really swamped today.” Kagome laughed off the tiny twinge of pain she felt pinching her somewhere.

 

“And the rest of the week.”

 

Kagome paused mid-laughter as that pinching pain flamed up and scorched her heart. “Oh,” she breathed out. “Work?”

 

“Yeah, work.”

 

“Here or…”

 

“Seattle.”

 

“Wow, uh, long trip. Would…eh, would you like something to take with you?”

 

“No thanks. I just wanted to stop by quickly and tell you before I catch my flight.”

“Be careful.”

 

“Sure. Bye.”

 

“Yeah…bye…” Her soft voice trailed off as he turned and hurried out of her office to leave. Kagome watched him, unsure of what to think. Was…was this his way of blowing her off? He said nothing about their date…a big, old, fat nothing. Kagome slid over to her couch and sunk down into her temporary bed.

 

So, was that…it? Was that the end? She didn't want to believe it, even as she had prepared herself for it. It couldn't really be an ending, as there wasn't much of a beginning. And instead of having dating doubts, Kagome had doubts about herself. Kagome also didn't miss the fact that the reason he couldn't make lunch was because of work.

 

Work. She had a lot of work to do. It was what helped her cope with the breakup of her last relationship and it would help her with this. Jumping up off her couch, she had a schedule to print, a dessert promotion to get started, and another week of making sure her customers had the best dining experience possible. Yep, that would be enough to keep her mind from that pain in her head and in her heart.

 

xxxxx-----xxx-----xxxxx

 

Kagome worked and worked and worked. When a waitress called in sick, Kagome covered her shift. And when a cook couldn't make it, Kagome covered that for him. And she was okay with it all. When asked why she decided to work instead of calling in someone else, Kagome replied that she wanted to talk to the customers about the food and the service, and to see how the kitchen was running since she hardly had the time or chance to. Kagome kept quiet about her real reasons for the extra work.

 

Normally, Kagome didn't stay up until the closing of the bar, letting either Jakotsu or Bankotsu handle it. The restaurant section closed up at around ten, and then she spent about an hour cleaning and closing up. Tonight, she felt restless. Perhaps it was from all of the extra work that had somehow pumped extra adrenaline into her pained system. She settled into a seat at the bar.

 

“Kagome, what are you doing here?” Bankotsu asked as he caught her out of the corner of his eye and had to make his way over to her.

 

Kagome smiled at the handsome young bartender. Jakotsu and Bankotsu both came in together to apply for the bartender position saying that they were an inseparable team. The two had a lot of experience and she got along well with both of them, so she hired them right on the spot. What Kagome didn't know is if they were related or not. They weren't partners in that sense, or brothers, but just really good friends, or cousins…

 

“Oh, I decided to cover a kitchen shift tonight,” Kagome explained as she eyed the number of patrons still hanging around. Many were businessmen still conducting business. It was one reason why she insisted on having a bar.

 

“So, what can I get for you, oh fearless workaholic?”

 

The weight of ignoring her little problem started to buckle. “Something sweet and dangerous,” she replied.

 

“A drink made like Kagome.”

 

“What about Kagome?”

 

“Oh, hey Rin,” Kagome said as Rin plopped down in the seat next to her. “Oh, Bankotsu's getting me a drink.”

 

“We're drinking? I want one.”

 

“Sure.”

 

“Rin, why didn't you go home? It's late. You're done.”

 

“I normally hang out here for a while after my shift ends.”

 

“Aren't the single guys heading home by now?”

 

Rin grinned as she waggled her eyebrows at Kagome. “Only the boring ones.”

 

“Ah, I see.”

 

Bankotsu set down two glasses of something pink colored. Both girls reached out for their glasses and pulled them over for a closer inspection. With the way the bar was built, many of the drinks glowed like something reactive because of the illumination from the lights underneath the glass bar. Rin shrugged her shoulders and took a safe sip.

 

“Yummy. It tastes like bubblegum.” Rin gleefully giggled out before taking another, yet larger, sip.

 

Kagome took a sip, finding that Rin was correct in her declaration. “This is really good,” she confessed before downing back the rest of the drink. The empty glass rattled against the bar top as Kagome slid it toward Bankotsu.

 

“Another?” he cautiously asked. He was aware that Kagome was comfortable with tiny amounts of alcohol, mostly sake and wine. But when it came to hard liquor, she wasn't a drunk.

 

“Yeah. One more,” she requested already feeling past her limit.

 

“Kagome?”

“Yes Rin?”

 

“What are you doing this coming Monday evening?”

 

“Inventory. You know that.”

 

“Anything else?”

 

“No.” Bankotsu set down another bubblegummy concoction, keeping the alcohol content to the tiniest minimum. “Thanks.”

 

Rin moved closer to her boss and friend. “I was wondering…if you were willing….well…”

 

“Just say it. You've never been one to be afraid to just come out with it.”

 

“Right. Okay. Well, there's this gathering at this awesome little eatery in the Ginza district and I was wondering if you were interested in going.”

 

“A gathering? Like a date gathering?” Kagome asked out loud.

 

“Yeah, exactly like a date gathering.”

 

“Rin, we aren't nurses or flight attendants. We don't even wear uniforms, or are in company calendars, or anything like that.”

 

“So. That's just a stereotype.”

 

Kagome sighed before taking another large sip of her drink. “Rin, I-I can't.”

 

“Why not? You're single, right? And searching?”

Kagome opened her mouth to answer, but couldn't and looked away instead. Picking up her glass, she let it rest on her lips before gulping the rest of it down.

 

“You…you're still stuck on that guy? Inuyasha?”

 

“It's not that.”

 

“I didn't think you'd be interested in a guy that only reminded you of bad things. He's not that much different from this Hojo guy. A bad communicator, a workaholic, the idea of children…If you want to date a doctor, one will be there, a cardiologist, I think. Or maybe an oncologist, I can't remember exactly.”

 

“I'm not interested in Inuyasha for money. If I was only interested in money, then I could've stayed with Hojo. I'm sorry Rin, but, no thanks. I…I just don't think I'm dating material. Especially right now. Excuse me.” Kagome pushed herself up off the stool and hurried to the stairs and quickly made her way down them.

 

Bankotsu strolled over to Rin. “What was that?”

 

“Kagome being Kagome.”

 

“Jakotsu told me you were into a lawyer.”

 

“Oh, I am. I'm just going to that gathering for the free food.”

 

“Of course.”

xxxxx-----xxx-----xxxxx

 

“Kagome, what are you…” Mama Higurashi stopped when she took in Kagome's rattled appearance, unbrushed hair, pajamas and swollen eyes, and Kagome's making of her infamous cookie dough ice cream. “Oh Kagome…what level?”

“What?”

 

“I asked what level?”

 

“Oh, uh, very bad, I think. I'm not really sure.”

 

“Kagome…”

 

“It's okay Mama, really. I…I just need to talk. Well, I think what I really just need is to hear some things right now.” Kagome furiously stirred in the frozen bits of cookie dough into the ice cream batter. She also added copious amounts of chocolate chips. There could never be enough chocolate chips, not for this. Not for the help she needed.

 

“How many?”

 

“Five plus me makes six.”

 

“Oh, you've invited Sango?”

 

“Yeah, if Ayame remembers.”

 

“Well, it's a good thing we got you that larger bed. You finish your ice cream and I'll get everything else ready.”

 

“Thanks Mama.”

 

“So, what are you making for dinner?”

 

xxxxx-----xxx-----xxxxx

 

“You're eating what…No, I don't really care who is there. Yes, I'm glad you're having a…Oh wait, I've got another call. Of course I'm taking it. You can wait. Hello? Ayame? Wait, wait…repeat that…A way bad? Pajamas. Those comfy ones and…yes I know what my security blanket is, I'm a psychologist or did you forget? Where? Okay, okay. Now? Wait. Fine. Bye. Miroku? Hey, I have to go. Actually, I'm not sure. Ayame just called me about something that's way bad. When are you coming home? Okay. See you then. Yes, of course you can call me before then, but it doesn't mean I'll answer. Bye.”

 

xxxxx-----xxx-----xxxxx

 

“Hi girls,” Mama Higurashi happily welcomed the five girls standing outside her door. “Hurry inside before you catch a cold.”

 

The girls all scuttled inside, shivering and saying their `hellos' to their second mother. Mama Higurashi shut the door behind them, locking out the cold draft from the extended cold weather that had yet to let up. The cry of a young child sent Mama Higurashi into a peaceful frenzy.

 

“You brought Moriko,” she cheerily said as she extended her arms to grab the finicky infant out of Ayame's arms.

 

“I'm sorry Mama H, I didn't want to, but I couldn't leave all four of them in Kouga's care. He's got a real soft spot for Moriko and I'm afraid that something would happen to the boys.”

 

“She's really daddy's little girl, isn't she? Aren't you, you sweet thing?” Moriko giggled at her godmother's smile.

“I thought Kouga was super duper alpha male?” Yuka asked as she slipped off her coat and deposited it onto the back of the couch.

 

“Yeah, well, three boys ages 2 to 4 are about the limit for him. The only way I could make sure that the house didn't burn down was to bring Mariko with me.”

 

“It's no problem at all Ayame. Moriko and I will stay down here, won't we?” The little wolf child laughed out, clapping her hands together in glee as her emerald eyes sparkled. The little girl's dark brown tail happily wagged at the prospect of spending time with her favorite relative.

 

“How is she?” Ayumi quietly asked, her eyes glancing in the direction of Kagome's room.

 

“I'm not sure. She's been at the restaurant all week. She came home, dropped off her laundry, took a long, really long bath and then came out in her bunny pajamas. You know the-”

 

“Yeah, I know which ones,” Ayumi responded. She turned back to the others. “The ones we got her after the second-year dance.”

 

The other girls, excluding Sango, all nodded their heads as if they understood exactly what was going on. Sango figured she'd be clued in later as she was new to this…well, whatever this was. However, now she understood why Eri got her those pajamas for Christmas. There was a note in the card explaining to her that the pajamas were for emergencies only. This must be the emergency she was referring to.

 

“You girls better hurry on up. Kagome made pizza and ice cream and I'm afraid she plans on eating all of it.”

 

“Cookie dough?” Eri asked, placing her coat on top of the others. Mama Higurashi just nodded her head, trying to keep a smile on her face for Moriko. “Right.”

 

Sango followed the other girls up the stairs and into Kagome's room finding the raven-haired, bunny-clad girl sitting on her bed surrounded by food and clutching tightly onto the stuffed bunny Souta had given to her so many years ago. It was that bunny Kagome had chosen as her security blanket.

 

The girls, each dressed in their unique pair of pajamas, carried their equally unique security blankets and hurried inside Kagome's room, closing the door behind them for privacy. They climbed onto Kagome's bed, claiming their spots for the rest of the night. All of the girls had called their employers to tell them that they would be taking Monday off as a personal day.

 

“Hey,” Kagome said to her friends as she passed out plates, napkins, and other utensils for the freshly created goods she prepared earlier. The girls all said `hey', `hi' and `hello' back, taking the plates and filling them up with slices of oven-baked pizza, their own personal pizzas topped with their favorites.

 

Kagome glanced around at everyone, noticing the pajamas they all wore. Ayame was dressed in pale green pajamas with cute little large-eyed sheep and she had a sheep-skin blanket wrapped over her shoulders. Ayumi's pajamas were pale green with green turtles dancing around the fabric and in her hands was a matching stuffed turtle with plastic eyes that moved when jiggled. Yuka's pajamas were purple with bright colorful birds flapping about. Tucked underneath her legs was a pillow made from the same bird-covered fabric as her pajamas. Eri was dressed in something that was almost a penguin suit. She wore a blank spaghetti strap top with a single penguin on the front with matching bottoms of the same, yet smaller version of the penguin all around. Eri cuddled with her penguin puppet.

 

Lastly was Sango. She was decked out in soft yellow pajamas with kittens on them. Curled around her neck was Kirara, her demonic pet kitten that was truly the most secure security blanket one could ask for. Kirara had been introduced to the girls earlier and was on friendly terms with all of them. The demonic cat was the obvious influence for Sango's style of pajamas. The other girls had decided to get the pajamas for Sango for Christmas as a way to induct her into their tight-knit group. Sango really was one of the girls now.

 

“Beer?” Sango questioned Kagome as she searched the nearby table for a beverage to go with her meal.

 

“Yeah,” she sheepishly chuckled out. “In case I need my lips loosened.”

 

“We don't want you drunk. You're supposed to remember this,” Ayumi reminded her, passing over the beer for the bottle of water. She wanted to remember this night as well.

 

“Kagome, just talk. You've never been this tongue-tied before,” Yuka blasted out in between bites of pizza.

 

“That's because she's never used her tongue before,” Eri teased the already embarrassed girl. Kagome wasn't normally shy, but she had her moments. The other girls laughed, quieting as they settled in. Eri cracked open a can of beer, relishing its smooth, somewhat sour taste.

 

“Talk. Now,” Ayame commanded, not at all worried about Moriko, but only about her boys back home. She prayed to the Gods that they didn't call her to tell her they somehow ended up in the emergency room.

 

Kagome, held up a slice of pizza and dropped it onto her plate, hearing it plop and staring hard at the patterns the melted cheese made. She bit her bottom lip, starting to feel those overwhelming emotions once again.

 

“Am I date-able?”

 

This question posed by Kagome froze the other girls. Their eyes searched out for the others, each silently debating with the other over who would answer first, or if any could answer at all.

 

Still staring at her slice of pizza, Kagome huffed out a heavy chunk of air, blowing her bangs up and out of her hazy eyes. She had more to say. “I've had men approach me, interested, but nothing ever developed from that.”

 

Kagome hugged her floppy-eared bunny tightly as she brought her knees up to her chest. There was more, a lot more, but Kagome didn't want to share everything right away. As much as this was to be a confessional, it was also supposed to be an open conversation.

 

Sango set down her slice of pizza, plucking off a piece of meat and slipping it over to Kirara. “Kagome, it can't be just you. Just because a man sees you as someone pretty and approachable and that you see that man in the same way doesn't necessarily mean there's going to be a connection.”

 

Eri agreed with her psychologist companion. “Same with sexual relationships. Not that you are the type for no-strings attached sex. But relationships work because there is something to be gained from it.”

 

“So, you're saying I have nothing to offer a man?”

 

“Eh, no. When starting out, you share a laugh, talk, and a common interest that gradually builds up. These men who talk to you can't find that.”

 

“Or are too blind to it and are really only looking for that quick fix,” Yuka added as she worked on her third slice.

 

“Yup,” Ayame added. Not all men wanted to date and Kagome had to know that.

 

“So I'm boring? Too career-minded? It can't be about children because it never goes far enough for that to be brought up. And I'm sorry that my sexual experience is so limited that it frightens even me. I still…I mean I'd like to one day have a relationship again, but…”

 

They all knew Kagome's fear. Strong relationships lead towards marriages which then lead to the possibility of the `children-talk.' There were exceptions, Yuka being one of them. But still, Kagome wanted a child of her own. It would be hard to screen for a man who was okay with adoption so early on in the dating period.

 

“I'm so scared of having my heart broken because I'm…I'm not…I'm just not a real woman.”

 

“That's not true,” Ayumi defended the poor girl. “Don't say that.”

 

“Even I temporarily forget that I'm unable to conceive, what can I offer to a guy?”

“You're beautiful,” Ayame chirped up.

 

“I'm child-like,” Kagome easily argued back.

 

“You're kind,” Ayumi added, remembering all of the times Kagome selflessly helped others.

 

“Just polite,” Kagome barked back.

 

Sango shook her head at all of this. What was going on now wasn't getting them anywhere. “Kagome, what happened?”

 

Kagome quickly glanced over in Sango's direction, never bringing her eyes to meet with the psychologist's and sighing as the real reason why she called over her friends was finally being questioned. “Last Saturday, I went out on a date.”

 

“And you didn't tell us,” Eri yelled out as she snapped open her second can of beer for the night.

 

“Be quiet Eri and let the girl talk. We're done listening to you for the time being.” Yuka grabbed the can of beer right out of Eri's hands and took a sip.

 

“It was nice. He took me to this little restaurant that served the most amazing food. He knows about my passion for food. I thought it went rather well. There was conversation, laughter and even a kiss.”

 

“So, what's the problem?” Ayame asked as she was unclear on where Kagome was going with all of this.

 

“I didn't hear from him until Tuesday. And then all he said was that he was going to be out of town for a week.” Now, Kagome couldn't hold them in any longer. Her dark eyes watered up as she once again questioned her self-worth. “He didn't even say anything about the date. He didn't even say that he was going to try to contact me at all. Really? What am I supposed to think? We're friends and I guess…maybe…we tried to see if there was something else beyond friendship. He must've seen nothing and I…I don't think I can still be his friend after the date because…because I really like him, more than a friend.

 

“All these extra emotions, they hurt because I just don't know. I don't know how to bring it up. I'm not sure if I can. What if he tells me he just wants to be friends? Can I tell him that's impossible for me? I'm so frustrated and lost and…and feeling so hopeless. I can't…”

 

“You can Kagome. And you will.” Ayame reached out and put her hand over Kagome's, giving it a good squeeze. “You handled Souta's and your grandfather's death and this isn't at all as bad as that. We are here to help you, no matter what. You still have time to find your place in this crazy world. You just can't always expect it to go perfectly.”

 

“I know that…” Kagome meekly replied feeling a bit selfish, but at the same time, she needed to be selfish if she was going to get this problem solved.

 

“Then he's an idiot, Kagome,” Eri said, pointing her finger at her friend. “If he can't say anything honest to your face then he's not worth it. Even the guys I simply fuck are able to say something to me, whether I wasn't enough for them or if they want to extend our time together, they say something to me. I do need that feedback for my research.”

 

“Kagome, if you are looking for someone for the long haul, he's going to have to be honest with you up front.” Sango stroked the soft fur of Kirara's back and tail. “And you need to be honest with him as well.”

 

“Is it okay for me to just pick up the phone and call him and tell him all of this?”

 

“Wow, you can really tell when the last time you dated was. Guys don't drag girls into the caves anymore.” Yuka casually pointed out as she pushed her pizza away from her, feeling full from the American dish. “Things are a little different today. You, as a healthy, vibrant modern woman, can actively, and even a little aggressively, pursue a man.”

 

“I thought that was something you did because you tend to be more…uh, dominate.” Kagome was careful with her comment, as she didn't want to hurt her friend's feelings.

 

“I tended to be very aggressive, but really, what's stopping you from picking up the phone, calling his dishonest ass, and finding out what is going on?”

 

Kagome shrugged her shoulders at Yuka. She knew what was holding her back, but couldn't say it, afraid to say it out loud for fear of jinxing herself.

 

“Does this guy happen to have a name?” Ayumi innocently asked. They were talking about this guy and it would be easier to talk about him if he had a name. He was a living being after all.

 

Kagome finally looked up at Sango, directly in her chocolate eyes and instantly Sango knew it all. A look told her not only about Kagome, but about who Kagome was talking about. This put Sango in a difficult and even dangerous position.

 

“Oh Kagome…” Sango whispered having a deeper understanding of where Kagome's doubt was coming from.

 

“What?” Eri excitedly asked. There had to be something very special about this guy to render Kagome speechless. “Who is this guy?”

 

Kagome just looked away from everyone, unable to answer. She found some nerve to glance up at Sango, looking to her for confirmation that she should tell her friends about whom this guy really was and the history they shared.

 

Sango released Kirara, the cat hopping over to Kagome and snuggling up against the conflicted girl. Kagome reached out, touching the soft yellow fur. It was working on making her feel a little bit better.

 

“He's the silver-haired, doggy-eared hunk at Kagome's party.”

 

“What?” Eri screeched out, causing Kirara to burrow underneath Kagome's legs. “You mean…Was he…? Is she…?” Eri tossed her penguin puppet at Kagome, causing Kirara to burrow deeper so she wouldn't be forced to transform just to protect herself from this woman. “Kagome!”

 

“What?”

 

“Nothing actually. He's good looking. I'm kinda jealous.” Eri reached over and took her penguin puppet back so she could continue to cuddle with it.

 

“You…you tried hitting on him?” Kagome asked, unaware that her friends actually knew who he was.

 

Eri shook her head. “Nope. Dr. Sango here stopped me. Apparently he was with someone else.”

 

Kagome nodded. Right. Someone else. Maybe this was his way of saying that he didn't need a rebound girl. Or worse, maybe this was his way of saying that he was still attached to that previous someone else. Kagome being only a temporary fix during their break or something. Sure, he may have been interested in Kagome, but he was way more interested in that special, beautiful, even fertile, someone else.

 

The past was a hard enemy to fight. Even Kagome was a victim of her one past relationship. While most could say that their first relationship allowed them to experiment and learn, Kagome came out with very little to show for it. Kagome really believed that if she and Hojo didn't want children, they'd never have had sex and would still be together.

 

Would her life be better than it was now if that was the path she had taken? There wouldn't be the restaurant; at least, she didn't think so. But it didn't do her any good to think like this. Right now, she was a single woman with a good job who was about to lose at the relationship race before she even stepped up the blocks.

 

“Really, what can I do?” Kagome posed the more upbeat question to her friends. This was really why she invited them over, to get their input about her next step. “I know I can't sit on my butt and wait.” The girls all nodded in agreement with that statement.

 

“Forget about him,” Yuka stated as she stuffed herself full of ice cream. “Seriously, if he was really into you, he would've made his next move by now.”

 

Ayame, Eri and Ayumi all nodded along with Yuka's statement. Kagome looked over to Sango for her take on the matter since she hadn't nodded along with what Yuka had just said.

 

“It's not as easy as that. He has his own reasons for being skittish with this. He might even have a plausible reason for not saying what he should've said.” The thing was, Sango didn't know. She hadn't seen or talked to Inuyasha at all because he was really out of town for work. And when they met up that Sunday for their usual weekend meetings, he never said anything about his date with Kagome. Sango would've never known that they went out on a date if Kagome hadn't called this little group gathering.

 

Eri shook her head, disagreeing with Sango. “Even if he did have a reason, it's no reason to string Kagome along like this. He could've said something. Even if he said there was a reason, but couldn't share it with her, at least he said something. You said he was out of town, right? Well, if he thought the date was good, he'd still call you, no matter where he was at, because he wouldn't want to lose another chance with you.”

 

“And he's hanyou,” Ayame added, “meaning he's straddling both his instincts and his emotions. Sango said he may have his reasons. One reason I can think of is that his instincts and his emotions aren't skipping along hand-in-hand, so he's struggling with what to do next.”

 

“I didn't know that…about hanyou.” Kagome slipped the spoon out of her mouth and dug it into her bowl of ice cream.

 

“I'm not sure if it's true or not considering his type is rare, but I can see it happening.”

 

“Ayame's right, Kagome. Inuyasha does struggle with his abilities, his instincts and his humanity, constantly. He just internalizes it.”

 

“So, basically you're saying that if he's struggling like this, then in the end, we're nothing? I mean, wouldn't all of these different parts about him need to be in a…uh…in alignment for him to really feel anything? And even to believe in those feelings and instincts?”

 

“I don't really know,” Sango sadly confessed. She knew Inuyasha had an attraction to Kagome and was struggling with the idea of maybe asking her out. She could guess at how deep this attraction went, but it would only be a guess. But if that attraction was based on instinct alone, then he could harbor no real feelings for Kagome. An attraction got things started, but it can't keep the motor running all by itself. Same thing can be said about humans. “Like Ayame said, they're rare and I'm afraid I don't have any information, not even theories.”

 

“So, I take a vote? You all seem to agree that I need to just quickly move on and you…you're too good of a friend of his and mine to really say anything at all. If that's the case, then I guess…I guess I completely end it…again.”

 

“Are you sure that's what you want to do?”

 

Kagome looked up at Ayumi. “I have to be, right? For the sake of everyone and everything.” She then turned to Sango. “You've known him longer. You're one of his best friends. Did he say anything to you?”

 

“I didn't even know he asked you out. We knew he was spending time at your restaurant eating food, hanging out with you…”

 

“He…he didn't tell you…about our date?”

 

“Well, neither did you, you snob.” Yuka hollered back with a faint smile on her face.

 

“I told my mother and several people at work knew, so it wasn't a total secret.”

 

“But not us, dearie.” Eri said as she now dug into her ice cream.

 

“Inuyasha…he's private despite his loud, rude mouth. He's good at saying the right thing to hide his true feelings. He hates feeling vulnerable. Even though I've known him for quite some time now, I really don't know that much about him.”

Kagome opened her mouth to say something, but quickly closed it. Inuyasha had shared with her parts of his life, his past. She did know something about him that hardly anyone knew, even Sango. But what did that mean exactly? She was so lost.

 

“He…he told me about his parents, and…well…I just thought that he was trying to make a point with me.”

 

“Inuyasha told you about his parents?” Kagome nodded at Sango's question. “Miroku and I don't even know about that.”

 

“I thought that he was just trying to make sure that I wasn't having a child with Hojo for reasons beyond what I wanted. I was being so open about Souta's and my grandfather's deaths that I didn't know he was telling me something so private that he hadn't even shared it with his best friends.”

 

Kagome groaned as she fell onto her side, grabbing a pillow and placing it underneath her head. “I still don't know what to do.”

 

“Why do you make everything so complicated?” Yuka asked half-jokingly.

 

“I don't mean to,” Kagome replied as she pulled her stuffed rabbit closer to her, Kirara finding a place next to both the bunny and Kagome.

 

“Then we take a break,” Eri suggested. “Let me tell you about my new role as mommy to a 30-year-old man who has paraphilic infantilism. Well, kind of. Adult baby play. He likes to relive his life with me, starting out as a baby up to the point where as a teenager, he discovers sex.”

 

“You don't do that…oh, what's it called…uh, re-birthing thing?” Ayumi inquired as the topic had seemed to quickly move from Kagome to Eri.

 

Yuka wildly waved her hands around in the air. “Oh, oh, I saw one of those on one of those crime drama shows.”

 

“No, I don't do that. That's for Dr. Sango.”

 

Sango shook her head. “I won't even touch that. Too dangerous. It's basically an attempt to wipe the slate clean, thus allowing the person to rewrite their behavior. There are more practical ways to get someone to change their behavior.”

 

“You mean like smacking them?” Ayame teased. Sango blushed as she chose not to reply to that.

 

“Maybe that's a part of my problem,” Kagome mused as she wasn't satisfied with everything talked about prior to Eri's attempt at a topic change.

 

“What? Wait. What are you talking about Kagome?” Yuka popped a huge spoonful of ice cream into her mouth as she lost track at who was talking about what.

 

“Maybe it's my behavior towards men that is keeping them away,” Kagome suggested. She really didn't know where she was going with this and felt that maybe she was reaching.

 

“You mean like falling for the same type of guy?” Sango asked, used to making giant leaps in logic like this. Regular, untrained people didn't know how to accurately describe their situation and/or their feelings, and it was a part of Sango's job to connect the dots.

 

“That could be it,” Kagome guessed, eagerly waiting to see where Sango was going to take this.

 

“There's a theory, just a theory really, but it's got some data to support it. Child abuse victims will grow up and seek partners that also abuse them. It follows those lines. Hojo was a workaholic and so is Inuyasha. So, a part of you seeks out this same type of guy.”

 

Kagome carefully nibbled on her numbed bottom lip as she let the words Sango spoke slowly sink in. Even being attracted to the wrong kind of guy was still her fault and it was something she could probably control. How was she going to change this problem? At least she now knew about it.

 

“I guess I'm still not ready for this whole dating thing. I need to figure out the type of guy I'd want and need in my life.”

 

“Kagome, you don't need to define your life by the man you think it needs.” Yuka glanced down at the wedding band encircling her finger. “Nor do you need one to complete it. You want to find a man that compliments your life and adds to it.”

 

“Listen to the feminist talk,” Eri joked, dodging an empty can being tossed her way.

 

“I'm being serious. I found my life first before finding someone to share it with. I'm sharing my life. I may have had to make some little, minor adjustments, but I'm still Yuka and I still believe in my strengths as a woman. Who are you Kagome? What do you want to accomplish in your life? As Buddha says, `You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.'”

 

“Yuka,” Sango started, “no more dinners with Miroku.”

 

“Actually, my husband says it to me. He says it's what he saw in me when he first met me.”

 

“Oh Gods, this still comes down to me not being able to have children. I have the restaurant. I've accomplished that.”

 

“Why do you have to date a guy for children?” Ayumi asked. “Why can't you just date for fun?”

 

“Because Ayumi, I can't do that. It's not who I am. I have fun with friends. I want to fall in love, get married and have children, but I can't. That's…that's not who I can be.” Kagome sighed. She knew who she was, what she was.

 

“Then it's settled. Kagome…online dating. Right away your profile says `career-minded woman searching for long-term commitment minus children' and see what comes your way.”

 

Ayame tapped Eri on the shoulder. “That's Yuka's old profile,” Ayame reminded Eri. Yuka at one time had tried one of those online dating sites to see what would happen. There were a few potentials and a whole bunch of losers.

 

“Why is real life so complicated?” the stormy-eyed girl whined as a yawn broke free.

 

Eri quickly jumped back in with her latest subject and talked nonstop, not giving Kagome another opening to insert her problems back in. They had almost talked it to death and what Kagome needed to do was to think it over before settling on any kind of decision. It was obvious that it was important for Kagome to have some kind of strong, male companionship. The hard part was finding the right one. Even if she did, Kagome was Kagome.

 

As Eri got detailed in her story about this man who felt he needed to relive his life over and over again, finally finding comfort in his mistakes, Kagome was starting to feel that maybe her dating problem was as childish and even as teenager-ish as this man Eri was with. Kagome figured herself to be a mature adult, and yet, she couldn't grasp its fundamentals. Teengers these days dated so carefreely and she couldn't.

 

xxxxx-----xxx-----xxxxx

roshully's note:

It's ready. First off, a gigantic sized kudos to my new beta renagrrl who fixes the mistakes I make because I have convinced myself that I can type perfectly in my sleep.

So, now that I have a beta, weekend updates might work better, or I'll change the update from Fridays to Mondays. But that's something that it'll be worked on later on.

 

I have a few things things to define and explain.

 

For those of you that don't know `tween' is term used for those between the ages of 9-13. Not quite a kid and not quite a teenager. I will keep my personal comments about them to myself.

 

The name of Ayame's daughter, Moriko, means `child of the forest' which is made up of the Kanji `mori' meaning forest and `ko' meaning child. Names ending with the `ko' Kanji are designated for girls. Our honorable manga princess Takahashi Rumiko is another case of that. Her name, Rumiko, means `beautiful child'.

 

A social gathering is a popular activity in Japan. A group of girls and a group of guys will meet up at a restaurant to dine and hopefully woo the other. In Japanese dramas, women want to go to gatherings with rich men attending so they can marry into a good life. Japanese men like to go to gatherings to see beautiful women, especially those that wear uniforms. A good example of this is the Japanese drama `Attention Please' or even `Beauty or Beast'.

 

As for the Buddha quote, it's one of my favorites. It somewhat counters many of the teachings that Christianity teaches, which says to love your neighbor. It's hard to love your neighbor if you don't love yourself, and that is what the quote is basically saying.

 

Lastly, here is the recipe from the first lunch Kagome and Inuyasha share together. Enjoy!

 

For starters, the Dim Sum wrappers used in the dish.

 

Makes approximately 1 3/4 pounds

2 cups wheat starch

3 tablespoons cornstarch

2 cups less 2 1/2 tablespoons boiling water

 

In a bowl, combine the wheat starch and the corn starch and add the boiling water, stirring with a wooden dowel until fully incorporated, about 3 to 5 minutes, water must be boiling hot. Remove dough, place on counter and knead until smooth, about 8 to10 minutes. Form dough into a ball and cover with a damp towel so that dough does not dry out. To form dim sum wrappers, roll dough into a 1-inch diameter log and cut into 1-inch pieces. Using an oiled cleaver or oiled tortilla press, press each piece into a very thin round. Fill as desired, steam, and either serve immediately or freeze.

 

Serves 4

8 ounces lamb shoulder, coarsely ground

1 tablespoon soy sauce

1 tablespoon brandy or whiskey

1 teaspoon sesame oil

1/4 cup light virgin olive oil or soybean oil

1/2 cup finely chopped shallots (about 2 large)

1 tablespoon plus 1 teaspoon curry powder

2 jalapeño peppers, stems removed and finely chopped

1 cup finely chopped fresh shiitake mushrooms (about 5 medium)

16 Dim Sum Wrappers

2 cloves garlic, thinly sliced

1/2 cup chicken stock

1 teaspoon tapioca powder mixed with 1 tablespoon water

1 cup peeled grape tomatoes

Kosher salt and freshly ground pepper

Tiny basil or cilantro leaves for garnish

 

In a medium bowl, mix the ground lamb with soy sauce, brandy and sesame oil. Cover and set aside. Heat 2 tablespoons of the oil in a small saucepan over high heat, add shallots and cook until soft, about 1 minute. Add 1 tablespoon of the curry powder and jalapeño peppers and cook for 30 seconds. Mix in the chopped shiitake mushrooms, stir and cook for another 30 seconds. Remove from the heat, transfer to a large bowl and allow to cool. Add the marinated lamb to the curried mushrooms and mix well.

Set a small bowl of water to one side. Place 1 wrapper at a time on a clean dry surface. Using your fingers, moisten the edges of the wrapper and spoon 1 tablespoon of lamb filling in the center. Fold one side of the wrapper over the filling, then roll the wrapper to cover; pinch to seal both open ends. Repeat, making approximately 16 curried lamb rolls.

Heat a large non-stick skillet over medium heat, add 1 tablespoon of the oil, then place half (8 pieces) of the lamb rolls into the skillet. Pour 3 tablespoons of water into the skillet, cover tightly and cook for about 5 minutes. The bottoms of the rolls will turn golden and become crisp; the meat should be cooked through. Remove and keep warm. Repeat with the remaining rolls, adding an extra tablespoon of oil, if needed.

In the meantime, heat 1 tablespoon of oil in a medium saucepan over high heat, add the garlic and remaining teaspoon of curry powder, and cook for about 1 minute, just until the garlic is lightly golden. Add the stock and tapioca, bring to a boil and cook for 2 minutes. Turn the heat to medium and add the tomatoes; cook for 30 seconds, just until they are hot. The tomatoes should be slightly softened but still hold their shape. Turn off the heat and season to taste with salt and freshly ground pepper.

Place 4 curried lamb rolls on each of 4 serving plates, crispy side up. Spoon the sauce over them, decorate with the basil or cilantro leaves and serve.

And now…the replies…

DecemberLove05 - I think even regular chefs have specialized duties, at least from what I understand about real top notch restaurants. And even if you work at a Denny's or something, your menu is limited, so you only have to know how to cook the food they have on the menu. After a while, you just memorize things. I hope that at whichever college you do end up choosing, you have fun and learn lots.

Sassa - The setbacks make the kiss that much more special. Inuyasha has his own way of expressing himself and I'm sure that there's meaning to it if Kagome can actually read into those expressions. You may stop reading and just enjoy the previous chapter, but who knows what you'll miss. There is still some more joy to come.

localsamurai - I think that how well a date goes really depends on the girl. Hojo may have done all kinds of things that some girls would consider sweet and others wouldn't. I think Inuyasha was able to tell that Kagome was a real down to earth girl, especially by her life at the Shrine. And Inuyasha is a earthy fellow. It really goes to show how much they know about each other without saying it out loud, but instead, showing it by their actions. I always feel like cooking after working on a chapter. It happens that way.

Autumn the Reviewer - I gave you the recipe to the curry lamb rolls. I think you can replace the lamb with chicken if you aren't into lamb. Some people are and some aren't. I'll confess that on occasion I eat veal. Some are afraid to confess that because of the controversy of veal. Same could be said about horse meat or even dog meat in certain parts of Asia. Mistakes should be taken care of as I know have a beta, but we are both still human. Carriage rides are good. My boytoy says he would take me on one in the near future. Yeah, I need to go do real things too like dishes. Ah, life…

sweetkijo - I did the best I could with the kiss. They were both nervous, especially Kagome since it was her first kiss like that. I tried to make it real and cute. I don't know if passionate is what I wanted this kiss to be. Yeah, there is passion, but I think that a real passionate kiss comes from a little experience. Here is a part of the mess that needs to be cleaned up. But, real relationships are messy.

Chase65 - The carriage ride was so important on so many levels. Especially about her fear of cars. But the carriage ride offered a sense of intimacy that trucks or cars or taxis can't offer. As for eating for dates, I've found that small places also offer intimacy that larger restaurants can't offer. There's something about the cozy comfort of a mom and pop type place. After this chapter, communication will be necessary. We'll see if they can talk since Inuyasha isn't always one for talking.

Nomina - There will be much more ear fondling in the future. No doubts about that.

Tarzan14 - Balls and ovaries. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the entire theme of this story.

cwillia - Yes, we women have the ability to do that. It's a bit of a curse. According to my boytoy, his brain doesn't quite work that way. Yes, that was Kagome's first open-mouth kiss involving tasting and tongue. Can't think about something you don't know. Remember, Hojo, traditionalist. Tongue kissing could be considered dirty. He's not a dirty boy.

Togu - This is not a Rin and Sess story. They will not be the focus. Whether they stay platonic or have something more is like tenth on my list of things when it comes to this fic. I have much more important things to focus on, like Kagome and Inuyasha.

violet blossom - As for updating, with my job, the new beta and life, it won't be as consistent, but I promise not to abandon this story. I don't think I could. Inuyasha can be honest sometimes. Well, we'll see how this actually does when it comes to voting. But, it's not that important. As long as you and the other reviewers have something to say, that's cool. Not all men are as thoughtful as Inuyasha, but we can hope and pray.

Inusbabe - Don't know anything about the formatting. I do know about the spelling errors. I do need to go back and update that. Actually, Maguro butsu isn't made with the high grade parts of the tuna. So, it isn't as expensive. But I do miss living in Seattle and having access to all of that freshness. If you ever get to visit a larger town, bring yourself a cooler and stock up.

SSW - I don't think I could rush this story even if I tried. I start to freak out. I really do. And it's not a pretty sight at all. I'm glad that you are enjoying this. AU fics are hard to enjoy because you want it to be like the anime/manga. I've just created my own little niche in the Inu world.

InusGurl4 - Don't know how vibrating can get old, but if you say so. I don't know if this chapter can put you back together, as Kagome is also falling apart as well.

rainydays - I think a relationship works when the rest of your life is going good too. I felt a bit like Kagome did with Hojo, my boyfriend was working and I wasn't and he was basically supporting me. It's not the greatest feeling in the world unless you're okay with mooching off someone else. And that works for others. But Kagome wants to help out. That's the type of person she is. I totally understand how school can get. Wait until you start living.

@__@ - A real relationship? What's that? I don't know exactly what they are getting into yet, but they are going somewhere. This chapter put the breaks on that whole going forward really fast thing.

inuyashaloverr - I'm so glad that you have reviewed. Welcome. I think being anxious is a good feeling. It's something that the story gives you. If you can feel an emotion like that, then I guess I'm doing an okay job. Slow is good for me. I like to take time and examine things. I think that is what gives depth to the characters, and it makes me my own. If you do try the recipes, let me know how the come out. Thanks.

axel720 - How about I update at least once a week, but no particular date? But I will update once a week. I promised myself that. I thought that particular line would be something Inuyasha would say. It doesn't necessarily ruin the mood, but it really keeps Inuyasha in character. That's important. I wasn't just trying to be funny.

There you go. Have a great weekend!

roshully