InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ The Killer Inside ❯ Chapter 4: The Noose ( Chapter 4 )

I do not own Inuyasha and I do not own the two songs used in the chapter. The first one (The Noose) belongs to A Perfect Circle and the second (eraser) belongs to Trent Reznor, whom, as much as I love him as an artist and a potential fu- um… where was I? Oh yeah! Trent needs to release the angst! Let it go, man!!! You've made billions of dollars and own a frigging record label… Let it go! I, on the other hand, am unemployed and make crappy money when I am working in my field (early childhood educators get paid shit). I can bitch and moan and be as angsty as I like! So there!

I think Inuyasha might be a little OCC in this chapter… and Kagome acts kinda ditzy… but things will get better!! I promise! Yeah and I have no beta, so all errors are my fault.

The Noose by A Perfect Circle

"So glad to see you well
Overcome and completely silent now
With heaven's help
You cast your demons out
And not to pull your halo down
Around your neck and tug you off your cloud
But I'm more than just a little curious
How you're planning to go about
Making your amends to the dead
To the dead…"

Chapter 4: The Noose

"How could you?" he screamed. "I trusted you, Kikyou! I loved you, god damn it! Fucking hell, woman, I asked you to marry me! Offered you the rest of my goddamned life, for fuck's sake! How could you?"

"Yash, please listen to me!" She was on her knees, tears streaming down her face, clutching at the edge of his shirt. The living room they stood in was a wreck, testament to the battle that had begun just a few short minutes ago. He had refused to have their argument in public.

"No!"

"Yash-"

"God fucking damn it, Kikyou!" he bellowed. He fell to his knees and held her shoulders in his hands. He was trembling, shaking with the force of his emotions. His Kikyou had betrayed him. "I thought you loved me. You told me you loved me. I believed you."

"Inuyasha! Oh god, I do love you! Please believe me, it wasn't-" He growled at her, warning her. "Yasha, I love you so much it hurts. Please-"

"You slept with him." His voice cracked. Rage gnawed at his gut as tears made their way down his face. His claws dug into her skin, drawing blood. He didn't know weather to lick her wounds and heal them or make them deeper and shred her to ribbons. "I can still smell him on you."

"Yash-"

"You enjoyed it!" he snarled. Kikyou began to sob, her face resting against his chest. She gripped his shirt in her small fists and pulled at him, trying to bring him closer, trying to make him listen to her, to make him understand.

"Inuyasha, I didn't have a choice."

"Like hell, you didn't! It wasn't rape or coercion, Kikyou. I'd have been able to tell by your scent; you would have been distressed, sad, scared. You would have had some other emotion than-" he choked on his words, unable to continue. He shuddered and threw her away from him. She crumpled in a heap, her long grey skirt pooling around her. "But you didn't smell that way," he whispered, almost to himself. "I didn't smell fear on you, or sorrow or even fucking shame. You willingly betrayed me. You tell me you love me and yet you willingly gave yourself to another man, a man who- damn it!"

"Inuyasha, please listen to me! Please try to understand, I-"

"Just who was it, Kikyou? Which one of them did you fuck? I didn't recognize the scent." He growled at her menacingly "Did you even know his name? Or was it just some random frat boy? Was he the only one? Or was that why you made it a habit to shower before you came home? Is that why I never smelled them on you before? Did you find a good fuck, wash it off and then come waltzing back into my arms?"

"No, Inuyasha, no. You know why I showered before I came home. You told me that the chemicals from the lab bothered your nose. I did it for you, because I love you and…" She crawled over to him and put her head down on his knee. "Please, love. Please listen to me. Please believe me. I would never do anything to harm-" He put his hand on her head and she quieted. He smoothed her dark hair against her skull for a moment and tried to calm his breathing. She trembled beneath his hand but he ignored it, trying to gather the strength to say what he knew needed to be said.

"Get out." His voice was so soft she didn't respond at first. "Get out!"

"Yash," She hesitated, biting her lip. "What- what do you mean?"

"I mean get the fuck out of my house!"

"But, Yash- Please don't do this. Please, no."

"You're not stupid, bitch, don't act it." His voice was cold. He would not break; he would not bend. "It's over. I'll send your things to your aunt in the morning. As for you, I never want to see you again, you faithless whore!" He roared at her now. Standing, he picked her up by her hair and dragged her to the door. She tripped and fumbled, her feet trying to find purchase on the waxed wood floor.

"Inuyasha! No! No, please, love!" She wailed and cried, her weak nails tearing at his hard skin. At the door her lifted her to face him and she found her feet again. He stared into her grey eyes, now luminous with tears. His other hand went to her throat. For an instant he saw her, dead, her throat slit and her face battered. No! he thought, startled and pained. No, even after this, I still love her too much. Even after all this pain, I could never...

He let go, making sure she stood on her feet before stepping away. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath through his nose, inhaling all the scents around him. The night bloomed around them, full of life but before him all he could smell was she. The softly floral scent of her soap, the slightly chemical smell of her shampoo, the sharp musk of a man he wanted to kill and a tinge of blood from around her mouth and arms. The tang of her fear and sadness made his heart flinch but he stood firm. She wasn't hurt, not really. A bruise here and there and her arms might be tender for a while. She would survive. He wasn't so sure about himself.

"Inuyasha?" She was trembling, body and voice. He leaned over and kissed her one last time. Her lips were soft and warm, as they'd always been, but he tasted blood. She'd bitten her lip through. A shaft of pain tore through his heart.

"Good bye, koishii."

"NO!"

*@*@*@*

need you
dream you
find you
taste you
fuck you
use you
scar you
break you
lose me
hate me
smash me
erase me

*@*@*@*

The sun had risen by the time he woke up. The dream still echoed in his head, not so much a nightmare as a painful memory. He stared at the pillow beside him that had belonged to Kikyou and stifled the urge to rip it to shreds. I need to forget her, get on with my damn life. But I can't. Not until I've laid her to rest.

Stretching, he got up and made a stop in the bathroom. After throwing on some old clothes he made his way downstairs, briefly checking the clock in the hall on the way. Seven fifty-eight. Morning sucked and his hanyou internal alarm clock sucked. He never got to sleep past eight AM. Padding barefoot down the stairs to the kitchen, his slightly clawed toes made little noise. Shoes were just torture; the longer he wore them, the more easily annoyed he became and as he was already an irritable dog, shoes could make him an impossible jackass. His home was one place he refused to wear them.

The blessed aroma of coffee was just beginning to fill the kitchen when there was a knock at the front door. Inuyasha stomped towards the door, ready to shout something rude (and probably quite crude) to the early morning visitor when he recognized the scent. Kagome? Before he could think of a reason not to, he opened the door. For a moment he just stared at her, blinking owlishly, still too sleepy to react.

"Inuyasha? Earth to Inuyasha?" She waved her hand in front of his face and laughed as he shook his head and backed away. "Are you awake?" He scrunched up his face a bit and shook his head. "May I come in?" Nodding he stepped back and let her in.

"Coffee," he croaked.

"Yeah, I'm like that too before my first two cups."

"Mmm," he mumbled. Kagome giggled. Still smiling, she followed him back to the kitchen, making herself at home. The kitchen took up a good portion of the back of the house and had been remodeled and painted a bright cheery yellow when Inuyasha was still a kid. A lot of the work was starting to look old but Inuyasha figured he could fix it whenever. Taking down two mugs from the cabinet, he poured some of the life-giving brew for each of them then pulled the sugar bowl over and dumped three or four spoonfuls in his own cup. Blinking, he realized he should offer her some as well.

"Sugar?" His voice sounded rough to his ears.

"Two please, and powdered creamer if you've got it?"

"Next to the fridge." He dumped in two spoonfuls of sugar and handed her the mug.

"Thanks!" She grabbed the creamer and started fixing her coffee, still talking and looking up at him occasionally. "You left that disk at my house yesterday, by the way. I thought you might show up last evening to get it, but you didn't. As anxious as you were to get your hands on those e-mails, I didn't think you wanted to lose them."

"Thank you. I didn't remember until late last night."

"I was up until midnight, you should have stopped over."

Inuyasha smiled. Guess I was wrong. She does trust me. "Feh. It was too late by the time I remembered. I was tired, myself, last night. I had a tenant move into the carriage house yesterday afternoon and I kinda helped him move in. And Kaede would have killed me if I had shown up at her doorstep that late."

"A tenant? What's his name?"

"Miroku Hoshi. And I'm going to warn you once," he said, emphasizing his words with his spoon, "I've been told the man is a terrible letch with wandering hands. You might not want to get too close to him."

"Thanks for the warning."

"Don't mention it."

"Did you need any help with your garden? It's looking kinda…" she paused, looking unsure.

"Dead?" he offered, thinking of the tangle of thorns and Kudzu the yard had become. The parasitic plant killed just about everything it attached itself to and he was sure it would take months of work, if not years, to tame the mess that had taken over his property.

"Yeah. You might say that."

"If you can bring that tangled mess back to life, it'd be a miracle," he snorted. "It's been three years since anyone's touched it and even then, it didn't look too good. The kudzu's pretty much killed off most of the original plants that survived the years before I moved back here a decade ago. My mother used to keep it beautifully but when we moved to Raleigh, she turned it over to a caretaker. They didn't do their job very well."

"Keade told me your mother was a miko. It was one of the reasons they got along so well."

"Yeah, well, she never told me much about it."

Kagome smiled at him. "She probably never thought much about it. Most of us just… fall into our gifts. I'll bet she was a bit like me and had a good hand with plants." She chuckled and took a good long sip of her drink. "When I still lived in Arlington, it was harder to see them, but I could always feel the life forces of the plants around me. I was always unconsciously feeding them with my power. Our townhouse had the biggest, brightest flowers for miles. Mom said they started to fade when I moved, though. I kinda feel bad about that."

"Your power was gone and they couldn't feed off it anymore," he said wonderingly.

"Yeah," she said, nodding. "That's pretty much what Kaede said when Mom asked her about it after she `labled' my power as being a `spirit healing' one." Kagome smiled and leaned back against the counter. "I'll bet your mother moving had something to do with this place failing. And I know my cousin couldn't have done anything to help the place. Her powers were more earth and mineral based than life based." Suddenly her face lit up. "Maybe your mom can come visit after I've livened it up a bit? I'm sure she'd hate to see it so dead and I'd love to ask her for pointers. Those pecan trees in the side yard grew huge!"

"She died a year and a half ago."

"Oh."

"I spent the fifteen months after her death in Saskatchewan with my father, trying to… do something. He wanted to mourn her in a place a bit less crowded than Raleigh."

"If he was a full Taiyoukai, I can understand why. So that's where you were!" Her eyes were wide, as if she'd figured out some big secret. "Kaede said you'd been missing. I'm so sorry to hear about your mother. I lost my father when I was about eight; my brother Souta was just an infant. He doesn't remember Papa."

"It's ok, really. No need for you to apologize." Kagome raised an eyebrow at him and he chuckled darkly. "Well, it will be eventually."

"Did you tell Kaede?"

He shook his head. "No. She'd… no, I didn't tell her."

"Do you want me to?"

He stared at her a moment and then nodded, somewhat grateful for the offer. He'd been dreading telling the old woman. Too many people had died.

Truthfully he was still a little shocked that she was actually there, standing in his kitchen drinking coffee with him the day after he'd told her he couldn't remember if he had killed her cousin in cold blood. She looked right there, of course, comfortable and secure. Hell, she just looked plain good, in his opinion. Her long legs were displayed by cut off jean shorts and pale pink scoop necked shirt framed her face (and her cleavage, which he couldn't help but notice) prettily. You're as bad as that damn monk, he growled to himself as he realized he was staring at her breasts.

She looked at home in his kitchen, leaning against the counter with a mug of coffee in her hand and a smile on her face. Her hair was up in a high ponytail that only reached the tops of her shoulders and she had leather sandals on her feet. She smelled like a warm summer field. Briefly, he remembered Kikyou, standing in that exact same pose, getting ready for work one morning.

It had been summer. She wore a sleeveless white blouse and black dress slacks with pearls. Her shoes had been pointy with high heels. She'd looked elegant and graceful and smelled of expensive perfume. She made it look effortless.

I have to stop comparing them, he thought. Kagome isn't Kikyou and Kikyou is gone. Kagome is alive and… very different. Glancing down at his paint stained jeans and threadbare tee shirt he snorted to himself. I still look like a fucking slob by comparison, though.

Looking up at her again, he watched her sip her coffee. Suddenly, he needed to know.

"Why are you here? Why are you helping me?"

*@*@*@*

Kagome blinked. His golden eyes tore at her heart so she closed hers as she looked down at her coffee. She turned her head so she was facing away from him and opened them again. It's eating at him. She sighed and them bit her lip, trying to gain courage to look him in the eyes again.

"Because," she said.

"Because what?" She didn't respond. His eyes! There's so much pain there! How do other people not see it? "Look at me, Kagome. Why are you helping me?"

She looked up at him then, warm brown fusing with burning gold.

"Because your eyes are killing me."

"Huh?" He looked at her, confused.

She laughed sadly. "I heal things, Inuyasha, not just plants but people, too. Not so much physically, though I can do that, more emotionally. Your aura is strong, stronger than most youkai auras I've seen but your eyes…" She trailed off and took a step towards him. "Something inside is shattered and it shows in your eyes. It's eating you alive. I feel I must help you. I don't have a choice."

A light in his eyes dampened slightly and a frown turned his lips, hardening his already cynical face. She felt the urge to step back but stood her ground, refusing to feel fear. Fear would upset him even more, though she knew he expected it.

"Do you think I killed her?" His voice was sharp and demanding. Kagome took a deep breath and then stepped closer before answering.

"Do you think you did?"

"Answer the damn question, Kagome!" he snarled at her taking a step of his own towards her. His stride was longer and it brought them close enough to touch. She had to crane her neck up to look him in the face.

"No, I don't think you murdered my cousin," she whispered.

He relaxed slightly and backed away a touch, though not fully. A mere two feet separated them. Kagome worried at her lip. Will he notice the difference in wording? The difference in the meanings, in the intent… He looked down at his coffee and smiled slightly and Kagome breathed easier again.

"Well," he muttered darkly, "at least you don't believe I intended to kill her, like most people around here." Kagome flinched at the cynicism and anger in his voice. "Hell, even I can't say for sure that I didn't."

It was too much. Aunt Kaede had been right about him, he was no murderer and there was so much good in him. Kagome knew he thought she might pity him but she didn't. He was strong, he protected what was his; his sense of honor would demand no less of him. He felt he had failed and perhaps had even deliberately killed a woman he had loved. She could not let him suffer thinking she felt he was guilty.

"I can. You loved her. You would never have intentionally harmed her because..." she swallowed roughly. "Because you loved her." She saw him flinch slightly. The pain in his eyes increased and she looked away, unable to tolerate the emotions his hurt stirred in her.

"Yeah. I did."

*@*@*@*

Miroku eyed the waitress with a smile then winked at her as she finished refreshing his mug. She was charmed, of course and with a coy swing of her hips, walked away from his booth. Few women had ever tried to resist his charms, even if he was only flirting, as he was now.

Not that he never set out seduce one of the lovely creatures that were drawn to him like flies to honey. He might be a monk (of sorts) but he loved women as much as the next man (more perhaps) and was quite partial to sins of the flesh. All women were beautiful in his eyes. The waitress in her twenties was quite pretty but so was the seventeen-year-old sitting on the nearby stool in the halter-top and daisy dukes. So was the thirty-something woman in the jogging suit gulping orange juice as she sweated from her run. Miroku smiled and sipped his coffee. Ah, the beauty of a summer morning.

By far, the most beautiful creature in the small diner was probably the woman he sat back to back with. He'd caught a glimpse of her as she crossed the street with a young boy no more than thirteen. Her brother, he'd guessed, she didn't seem old enough to be his mother. They had been smiling and laughing and Miroku was intrigued. He had followed her, ducking into the diner after them and fortunately being seated right behind her. Seated as he was, he was unable to watch her but man was given ears for a reason.

Her name was Sango. The boy with her was her brother, Kohaku. They were doing their weekly "brother-sister" bonding by eating out and then going to an arcade to waste ten bucks each. Kohaku challenged his sister to a DDR match, complaining that she always won the shooting games because she was such a crack shot.

"You're not such a bad shot yourself, Kohaku," he heard Sango laugh. "Someday you might even make it onto the force like Dad and me."

Force? He sat up a bit straighter, worried now. Please be talking about the "force" from Star Wars, I can deal with that. Please don't be a cop! The waitress returned from the kitchen with his breakfast and he feigned a smile as he strained to hear the conversation behind him.

"You know I was barely any better than you when I entered the police academy in Batten Rouge," she continued. "Dad thinks you could be better than even he is and he's the best in the state."

Fuck.

"Uh, Sango, I don't really want to be a cop."

"What would you rather be?" she asked.

"A pro skateboarder!"

"Kohaku, you can barely stay standing on one of those things!" Sango laughed and the siblings continued to discuss possible careers for the younger of the two, each suggesting something more outrageous than the other. Miroku struggled not to allow this face to show disappointment, aware that a sudden change in his pleasant expression would surely be noted.

Damn, why'd she have to be a cop? Miroku moved his scrambled eggs around in a mulish way. It really did figure; the prettiest girl in town just happened to be a policewoman. He'd come here to hide his not so legal past and try to start anew. Hopefully there weren't any warrants out for his arrest. He doubted there would be; while he was not strictly speaking "law abiding" he was no hardened criminal, just a bit of a con artist on occasion.

Mushin, his godfather and former guardian, had taught him everything he knew, good and bad, from talking his way out of a bar fight to talking a woman into his bed. The old sot had taken care of him after his parents died, as they had asked in their will. Still, Miroku was pretty sure they had not intended their son to live the life he'd lived. Early on, Miroku had tried to live up to his family's reputation of good deeds and high spirituality. He'd joined a prestigious Buddhist monastery and worked for many charities and foundations in a variety of positions. As he grew older though, he'd succumbed to the family faults: wandering hands and eyes and a smooth tongue that kept him out of trouble.

Trouble had still found him, of course, in the form of Naraku, a hanyou with disturbing habits and the ability to pay handsomely for information or services. Miroku had been seventeen when Naraku and his group of refined thugs had contacted him. He soon learned that his parent's death had been no accident and that the family's ties to Naraku's organization had existed for generations.

He looked at the scar on his left palm and smiled cynically. I'll find you, Naraku, he promised silently. Soon, the Hoshi family will no longer be your pawns. Soon, your game will be up. The man had played with his family and others for far too long. Miroku was the only one left now, the last Hoshi. But maybe, he thought, maybe that is for the best. If I'm the last, if I have no children and leave behind no trace, then even if I do not destroy the organization, my family will never again be tainted.

Behind him he heard Sango ask for the check. Her brother was teasing her about some past trouble she'd made. She threw her napkin at him laughing and then swore she'd beat him at DDR later today. Miroku smiled. He'd never had a sibling and had never understood the bonds between brothers; he envied Sango. When she left the table he watched her; she moved like a dancer, her movements precise but still somewhat loose and flowing. He appreciated her soft curves even as he estimated that they were backed up by hard muscle; the legs that filled her jeans in all the right places could probably deliver a killing kick to a man's throat. The arms and hands that looked so delicate and feminine could probably punch him right into next week. He would prefer the strength in her arms, hands and legs being used for other, more pleasurable activities, but his luck had been bad lately in that regard. She'd probably drop kick me into next week if I made a move, he thought morosely.

As she reached the door she turned back into the diner and their eyes met. His breath caught in his throat as he saw her eyes widen. Her eyes were the color of warm brandy, dark brown with a hint of warm red lights. Mine, was his only thought. It startled him, but as soon as it appeared it was gone and so was she.

So, he thought, how does one seduce a lady cop?

*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*

Music is a strong force in my life and there are a lot of songs that influenced this chapter. I listened to a loop of about 40-50 songs while writing it; everything from Nine Inch Nails to Amiee Mann to Better Than Ezra to Ani Difranco. Special songs for this chapter include: The Noose (a perfect circle), Eraser (nin), The Killer Inside (BTE of course), As Is (ANI!!!), The Saddest Song (morphine), Hallelujah (Rufus Wainright), Ana's Song (silverchair), Sugar Kisses (echo and the bunnymen) and Bomb (Bush).