InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ The Nature of Sacrifice ❯ Reversals ( Chapter 2 )

Rolling merrily along, we come to another equally painful chapter. *Cackles.*

 

Enjoy!

 

DISCLAMER: I DO NOT, NOR HAVE I EVER, OWNED INUYASHA. I'm simply borrowing the characters and putting them through hell. ^.^ I also do not own the songs 'Sweetest Goodbye' by Maroon 5 or 'My Immortal' by Evanescence. I simply am using them to illustrate my little story. ^^

 

 

***

The Nature of Sacrifice

 

By Evie Lovejoy

 

Chapter Two:

Reversals

 

***

 

The night had gone on, speeding up and slowing down until Kagome and Inuyasha had two tables each, and they were just wanting appetizers and some talk time.

 

Both waiter and waitress had kept their distance after the blow up. Before she turned fifteen, they would have bothered each other endlessly, but after so many years and that strange transition and disapearance, they usually kept their distance.. Yet worried honey eyes always seemed to watch the troubled woman he had fallen in love with from the front as she padded back to get clean cups.

 

As always, Miroku blasted music from the back, bopping his head currently to Maroon 5 as he prepared the food for the tickets Inuyasha and Kagome had given him. Patrons were used to the music coming from the kitchen, and knew by the style of music who was cooking; Miroku usually had some type of rock and roll, sometimes blues; Kanna never played music, prefering silence and her thoughts; Kagura had screamo music blasting, usually some chick band that screamed that men were pigs; Inuyasha, when he cooked, had heavy metal playing, Korn or some such. Luckily for Kagome, the cooks usually never had a problem playing one of her CDs when it was slow.

 

Kagome smiled as she heard one of her favorite songs from the CD play, a slow ballad that spoke to her pained soul, starting to sing along with the band's front man as she grabbed cups from the back. Unknowingly, Miroku smiled as well. She had a beautiful husky mezzo-soprano voice, and when it came to rock and roll or soul, she could belt it with the best of them. Miroku, Sango and Kagome had choir together in high school; it was how they all met. Shy at first, Kagome had started to bloom, even getting into drama, where she met Koga, Ayame, and an older Rin. Hanging in the performing arts department had introduced her to Miroku's best friend, Inuyasha and his brother Sesshoumaru, both of which were in the school band in the drumline. Kanna and Kagura were in stagecraft; the void demon running lights while Kagura was usually the backstage manager for every play, ordering both actors and backstage crew around like they were her puppets. Miroku had loved high school, but still wondered why Kagome was gone the entire sophmore year. She never spoke of it, and he couldn't help but wonder how she had managed to put such feeling; pain and passion, in her voice after that. But it was so haunting and beautiful, you couldn't help but listen in amazement.

 

"Where you are seems to be

as far as an eternity,

outstretched arms, open hearts,

And if it never ends, then when do we start?

I'll never leave you behind

Or treat you unkind

I know that you understand

And with a tear in my eye

Give me the sweetest goodbye

That I ever did recieve.."

 

Inuyasha's throat closed up a bit as she sang, sounding far too believeable for her to be acting. She was a good actress and a great singer, but the pain in those words burned in his chest. He couldn't help but remember her words so long ago.. had it been nearly ten years? They echoed in his mind and in his dreams, 'Inuyasha.. let me go. It isn't that I don't love you, because I do. It's that.. damnit.. I love you too much.. you don't understand! I don't want you to understand. Just let me protect you for once.' He watched her through the window between the front end in the back, looking past Miroku with a distant look in his eye. 'One day, Kagome.. You can't run from me forever.. you can't run from us.'

 

Miroku frowned at his best friend. He knew that look. Inuyasha was still pining after the young waitress, the same woman Miroku thought of as a sister. They would be perfect together, Inuyasha knew it, but Kagome still pushed him away.. Hell, she pushed everyone away. But she couldn't keep everything in for much longer, Miroku knew too well. He'd have to sit her down one day, if she'd let him, and get her to come to her senses. She was letting her life slip away. Sighing, the cook slid the plates into the window, right under Inuyasha's nose. Inuyasha jumped, smacking his bandana covered head on the ceiling of the window with a low thud and a yelp. "Order up!" The violet eyed man grinned, distracting the forlorn inu hanyou from his thought process.

 

"Goddamnit, you fucking asshole!" Rubbing the top of his head, he growled under his breath. "I'll get you for that later." Empty threats as he'd never hurt the man he thought of like a brother, but it was normal to utter them. Grabbing the plates roughly, he walked from behind the front counter, forcing a passive face as he went to serve his table.

 

Kagome smiled wistfully as she brought the cups to the front, having heard the exchange. She had felt Inuyasha's powerful gaze on her and it hurt. Not that he gazed at her that way, but that she was the cause of his gaze. He may have given up chasing after her, but he could never stop loving her or wanting her. She knew that. But it would be so much worse.. she'd have to tell him, he would know everything.. And he'd hate her, she knew it.

 

Frowning as she put the glasses away, she instantly forced a smile on her cheeks as the customers she had been waiting on came up to the counter. Dealing with the money from both tables, putting her tips away and busing the tables took very little time. And in that same time, Inuyasha was set on doing the same thing for one of his tables. They didn't speak as they crossed paths, putting dishes in the bus tub, but she felt his gaze on her as surely as if it had been his touch. Reaching for a clean dish cloth, their hands brushed, a slow tingle coursing through her body. It had been too long.. Clenching her jaw as he delibrately brushed her hand again, she bit down on her bottom lip and turned away as if it had never happened. But it had. And she couldn't deny it. He knew her scent like none other and knew the change he had brought to it.

 

Desire. He could smell the longing in her scent and saw it in her eyes, though averted from him. It gave him the smallest bit of hope. Ten years.. he gave her the space she desired, but he needed her like he needed air to breathe. No, he'd find out why she was keeping him away, everyone away. He'd do it if it killed him. She was hurting. He had to fix it.

 

Kagome tried to catch her breath as she wiped off the table. 'Why does he have to do that?! He has no idea.. or maybe he does..' Closing her eyes, she licked her lips absently, pushing in the chairs at the table. 'He just breaks down my defenses.. He always had. But that's one reason I love him so much..' Tears welled in her eyes as she forced the sensation away, trying to be strong. 'No, Kagome. You're protecting them.. him.. To do that you must be strong. You aren't that weak schoolgirl you were before, you have to be strong, brave.' She repeated that over and over, but deep in her heart she couldn't keep it up forever. And that scared her more than Naraku ever had.

 

*.*.*

 

At ten PM, the Thursday night crowd was slim.. Okay, non-existant. After three cigarettes for Kagome, which pissed Inuyasha off to no end; not so much that she was smoking, but that he had left his pack at home; the three co-workers were bored out of their minds. Hopping up on the counter, Kagome yawned loudly.

 

Soon a familar piano entrance caught Kagome's ear, her heart sinking. Miroku had put in a familiar CD. He always made her sing along, telling her that her voice sounded much better for the music than the true vocalist.

 

Inuyasha kept his mouth shut, his back to the kitchen and Kagome on the counter in front of said kitchen. He leaned on the front counter, his eyes closing at the sound of the CD. Though he never had spoken aloud his views on Miroku's practice of goading her into singing, he secretly had waited all night for the CD to be played. Though it hurt him to hear the pain and longing in her voice, he couldn't help but need to hear her voice the words that seemed to speak their problems rather well.

 

Looking back helplessly at Miroku, he gave her a pleading look, clasping his hands in front of himself and mouthing 'please' over and over. Sighing, Kagome hung her head, her voice too haunting to be ignored.

 

"I'm so tired of being here..

Surpressed by all my childish fears.

And if you have to leave,

I wish that you would just leave

Cause your presence still lingers here

And if won't leave me alone.."

 

She stared into Inuyasha's back with tears shining in her eyes. The words seem to state both of their positions, and how things, in the end, were just going to end in pain either way.

 

"These wounds won't seem to heal,

This pain is just to real,

There's just too much that time cannot erase..

 

When you cried, I wiped away all of your tears.

When you screamed, I'd fight away all of your fears.

I held your hand through all of these years,

But you still have..

All of me.."

 

He could feel her eyes on his back and he bit down onto his bottom lip as he forced his emotions in check. For some reason, he had a feeling that some of the words held more meaning than he could read into. The way she emphasized the words, it sounded as if her heart was breaking. He hated it. And yet, he loved it. He felt such joy knowing she loved him.. If he could just understand why she wouldn't let him love her in return...

 

Her voice gained more emotion as she went, making it sound rough to her ears, though to Miroku and Inuyasha, she did the song more than justice. She made it her own. With each verse, she pressed closer to the climax of the song, and she knew that it would break her

 

"You used to captivate me by your resounating light,

Now I'm bound by the life you left behind.

Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams,

Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me..

 

These wounds won't seem to heal,

This pain is just to real,

There's just too much that time cannot erase..

 

When you cried, I wiped away all of your tears.

When you screamed, I'd fight away all of your fears.

I held your hand through all of these years,

But you still have..

All of me..

 

I tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone..

But though you're still with me,

I've been alone all along..."

 

The last verse was so thick with emotion, though no tears fell down her cheeks, it sounded like the actual breaking of her heart on the last line. After a shaky breath, she kept her gaze on Inuyasha's back, her voice sounding so defeated and helpless as she finished the song, the last lines becoming breathy and final.

 

"When you cried, I wiped away all of your tears.

When you screamed, I'd fight away all of your fears.

I held your hand through all of these years,

But you still have..

All of me..

 

All... of me...

 

All... of me...

 

All.."

 

Closing her eyes tightly, she hopped off the counter as silence rang through the room. She walked quickly into the bathroom, the door slamming after her, the distinct click of a lock following.

 

Silence.

 

Miroku's eyes were watery. She had never sung it quite like that before. It felt like he had been peeking on her diary; it seemed so personal and deep. He knew that she was hiding something, had known for nearly a decade but.. It hurt him to listen to her sing. Looking up to Inuyasha's back, he was tensed, almost shaking. Maybe he shouldn't have played the CD tonight..

 

Inuyasha couldn't help but tense up as she had gone on, the emotion in her beautiful voice almost too hard to bear. It cut him deeply. She was in a lot of pain. And she wouldn't let him try to help. He felt, deep down within himself that he was destined to protect her, to make her smile. And she wouldn't let him. Even now, he could hear her soft, strained sobs in the bathroom. He knew Miroku wouldn't be able to hear it, she was that quiet about it. Finally, he spoke very softly, though he knew the cook in the kitchen would hear him. "Don't play that song again." It wasn't a request, it was a command.

 

Shaking his head, Miroku took the CD from the boombox, putting a Dashboard Confessional one in after it, speaking just before he pushed play.

 

"I won't."

 

***

 

Yes, I know, rather sad. Lots of angst, but don't worry. Though I put these lovely vivid characters through hell, I will make sure they will find providence on the other side! All of this has a point, and is leading somewhere, I promise you. ^.^

 

PLEASE READ AND REVIEW! Though I'm writing this for me, I would love it if I knew that I'm reaching someone else...

 

~Evie