InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ The Pack of the West ❯ Sesshoumaru's Past ( Chapter 8 )

Warning! This chapter contains yaoi and rape.

 

Chapter 8: Sesshoumaru's Past

 

Days turned into weeks and Sesshoumaru and Miroku developed an easy friendship, neither pushing the other in their relationship allowing it to flow along as it wanted. Sesshoumaru's youkai, seeing this period as courting, was satisfied and left him alone, allowing him rest from the intense emotions he had been feeling before.

 

Miroku had been asking Sesshoumaru about his childhood, where he grew up, what did he do for fun, and the like. Sesshoumaru had answered some questions, others he avoided until one day Miroku asked, “Do you not trust me?”

 

“It's not that” he answered, “There are parts of my childhood that are not….pleasant. I would rather not talk about them now. Perhaps some day I will tell you.”

 

That hadn't entirely satisfied Miroku but for the moment he let it drop.

 

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Sesshoumaru was thinking of his childhood right at the moment. He had been on a hunt and had stopped by a brook to get a drink. He noticed a large weeping willow tree and because of Miroku's questions of his past, it had brought back a harsh memory. He had been raped under a weeping willow.

 

He had been no more than the age of Rin at the time and had gone off into his father's woods to play, arrogant in the fact that no one would bother him as he was the taiyoukai's son.

 

Sesshoumaru is an extremely good looking male and when a child, he was beautiful. There were those who coveted that beauty and had followed the young demon as he wandered in the woods looking at this and that. He smelt the human males but put them out of his mind. His father always had humans around, servants and lords that he dealt with on a daily basis, so Sesshoumaru felt no fear.

 

He had just gone under the long strands of the willow, happy to have found such a secret place when they pounced. They grabbed the young lord and roughly threw him to the ground on his stomach, one tying a gag around his mouth so he couldn't cry out. He struggled, trying to claw his way free but they were too strong for him and held him tight as they ripped off his clothing, pulled his legs apart and raped him brutally, each taking turns until they were well satisfied. They had hurt Sesshoumaru badly, one had twisted his arm so hard behind his back that it had broken, he had blood running down between his legs and his face was tear streaked and bruised from being pushed into the hard ground. Bruises and scratches covered his back and sides.

 

They had finally let go of the weeping and trembling boy, one of the men leaning down close to his ear. “If you tell your father, we will come back again” causing Sesshoumaru's breath to hitch in his chest in fear “besides, he will not be pleased with what you have done, you have caused him a great disgrace.”

 

Sesshoumaru's eyes opened large in shock, this was the worst thing they could have said to the boy as he held his father in highest regard, seeing him as a god, and he never wanted to disappoint him in any way. He believed them and rolling into a little ball, cried his heart out under the tree. This was the last time he ever shed tears again and the first time he learned to hate, not only others, but himself as well.

 

When he returned back to the castle, his clothing ripped, his arm broken, his mother had asked him what he had done to himself. He told her that he had been climbing a tree and had fallen thereby breaking the arm and ripping his clothes. She had called the healer to aid her son and then telling him he needed to be more careful next time left to go about her business. His father never came to see him at all as he lay in his bed feeling hurt and alone.

 

Sesshoumaru was clenching his fist so hard that blood was dripping from his palm as these images played across his memory. He had not thought of that incident in a long time and it still made him feel weak and small. Other memories began to come to him as if that one memory had now opened the floodgates of all he had tried to suppress.

 

His mother had been married to his father in an arranged marriage to bring two great houses together. Neither had loved each other and he was born, as was expected, to become the heir that was needed for the western lands.

 

His mother was never cruel to him but she saw him as his father's son and didn't really pay much attention to him, feeling her duty had been done by providing the taiyoukai an heir.

 

She was miserable at the castle of her husband and not long after Sesshoumaru had been raped, she left to go back to her people and to the one man she had left behind that she did love. No one worried about it as she had not taken the lord's heir and there had been rumours flying that the great lord had taken a human mistress to his bed and that he had sent the demon female away.

 

Sesshoumaru, in his childhood grief and naivety, believed that his mother must have found out about his shameful secret and had left him because of that, disgusted by her only son.

 

Sesshoumaru had also heard the rumours of the human female and had watched as his father spent more and more time with a dark haired woman, stealing time with her whenever he could. The young boy tried to gain his fathers attentions, trying to do his best in everything he was set to do, but the woman, it seemed to Sesshoumaru, became more important to his father and he would sometimes leave his son in favour of spending time with her. This was when Sesshoumaru's hate increased for humans, as he could not hate his father, putting up the wall that was to encase his heart.

 

One day his father came to him and told him he had found him a sensei to teach him about the affairs of state and to instruct him in the martial arts. Sesshoumaru was happy to do his fathers bidding and bowing low told him he would do his best and make him proud.

 

The sensei, a jackal demon, was strict to the point of bordering on cruel. He pushed Sesshoumaru hard in his studies, making the boy stay up late into the night without food or water all day until he got a problem solved. In the training arena he never held back with his attacks, sometimes breaking bones or causing Sesshoumaru to become unconscious, telling the boy that he would have to learn to take punishment and fight through the pain if he was to become as great as his father.

 

The one time Sesshoumaru went to his father in the hopes he would get him a new sensei, his father had rebuked him, telling him to stop fooling around and to listen to his sensei. The jackal had been to the great lord earlier that day complaining that his son was not giving his all.

 

He had told him that the jackal was the best in the land and that he would obey his commands and continue his studies without complaint. Sesshoumaru had bowed low, upset and ashamed that he had displeased his great father and did as he was commanded, sometimes crawling to his room exhausted and wounded in his body and his soul. Some more bricks began to appear to make the wall higher.

 

The day his father had died, the day Inuyasha had been born, had been the worst for Sesshoumaru. As a young man he had become very strong, an asset to the western lands and he had hoped that finally his father would be proud of him and would love him.

 

He never smiled anymore, the joy of life beaten out of him long ago and he hid his emotions as best as he could, keeping all at arms length, afraid to trust anyone. His father never noticed the slow changes in his son, believing instead that Sesshoumaru had matured and left his childhood behind. He never knew the pain that was in his own son's heart day after day.

 

Sesshoumaru, standing before the dog demon after he had come back from defeating the great dragon Ryukotsusei, knew his father was wounded. He should be off trying to heal, not staying in his demon form to go rescue his human wench was what he thought.

 

His father had asked him if he was going to stop him. As much as Sesshoumaru wanted to, he told his father he would not, hoping he would see the senselessness in this rescue and decide on his own not to go, to stay with him instead. His father then asked him a most unusual question. Do you have something to protect?

 

Sesshoumaru was astounded, never in his life had he felt true compassion from anyone so he had no one that was close to him, no one to protect. He told his father no and then his great father had left him. He died that day protecting a human woman and a half breed infant. Sesshoumaru realized that his father had never once tried to protect him.

 

The last brick clicked into place around his heart the day he had gone to see his new brother. He was curious as to what it was that his father saw in this child and not in him. When he approached the house that the human wench and his brother were, she grabbed the child to her trying to protect him.

 

Sesshoumaru was hurt beyond words at the fear he felt coming from this woman. He realized that she believed he was there to kill his own blood and it cut deep that she would think he was without honour. He turned and left, jealousy blooming in his breast that this small insignificant half demon deserved so much more love and protection than him.

 

Over time he became the lord assassin of the western lands, moving from place to place as a ghost, unfeeling and uncaring of anything that went on, loneliness his only companion, glad of the fear he instilled in others.

 

With a sigh Sesshoumaru came out of his remembrances. He made his way back to Miroku, Rin, Jaken and Yumi with nothing showing on his face but his mood was quite subdued.

 

Miroku noticed the small changes in his companion, he frowned in worry as the evening went on and he saw the dullness in Sesshoumaru's eyes.

 

“What's wrong?” asked Miroku when Jaken had left them alone, the two girls asleep.

 

“Nothing” was the one word reply.

 

“I know you, there is something wrong, please tell me.”

 

Sesshoumaru looked into the caring eyes of his monk and unbelievably, even to himself, told Miroku everything. He left nothing out, Miroku quietly waiting for him to finish only gasping once in awhile when Sesshoumaru told him of some of the worse things that had happened to him. He finished, his heart pounding in his chest, a lump forming in his throat, trying desperately to control his emotions.

 

Miroku was shocked at all Sesshoumaru had endured. Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru have more in common than they think, it's too bad they couldn't have been proper brothers, they could have helped each other.

 

Miroku was angry at the unfairness of fate and looking at Sesshoumaru who now had his head lowered, hiding his face so Miroku could not see his misery.

 

Miroku reached out and wrapped both arms around him. “Remember when you told me I wasn't alone?” he asked.

 

Sesshoumaru said nothing he just leaned back into Miroku's embrace.

 

“You are not alone either, Sesshoumaru, I'll always be here with you.”

 

This was the first time Miroku had said his name since being slapped those many weeks ago and Sesshoumaru decided he liked the sound of it coming from those lovely lips.

 

“Don't say things you can't do” he said sadly, knowing that no matter what, Miroku was human and would die well before him.

 

“Well I'll be here for as long as I'm able, I will not leave you willingly.”

 

Sesshoumaru gave a small smile, and in a rare moment of letting his emotions fully out said, “That would be nice.”

 

They turned looking into each others eyes, one seeing the love and compassion he had always been missing, the other seeing the love and trust the other had never been able to give before.

 

They kissed each other gently, Miroku taking the lead and running his hands through Sesshoumaru's soft hair, teasing it and causing tingles to run from his scalp down his spine.

 

Sesshoumaru deepened the kiss, running his tongue along Miroku's lips asking for him to open his mouth so he could enter.

 

Miroku opened, his own tongue right there to push and stroke against Sesshoumaru's.

 

Sesshoumaru groaned at the feelings of pleasure that swept over him, bringing his arm up to Miroku's back, gently running his hand over the muscles there. They lay back on the ground, Sesshoumaru on top, their lips locked together.

 

Miroku ran his hands over Sesshoumaru's back and around to the front of his kimono, untying the body armour that he always wore and slipping it off. He reached into the kimono and ran his fingers over the chest and nipples of his demon, feeling his manhood enlarge when Sesshoumaru moaned out at the pleasure he was receiving. Miroku took his lips off Sesshoumaru's and placed them on his chest instead, rolling the now flushed demon over so he could gain better purchase to the lovely body. He licked and teased, running his tongue up to Sesshoumaru's neck and back down to the hard nipples of his chest, his hands roaming over the hard muscles of his stomach and shoulders, trying to take the top of the kimono off.

 

Sesshoumaru was doing the same. With his one arm he was untying the sash that held the monk's robe closed. That done, he pulled the robes open at his chest to look upon the well toned body of his human consort.

 

They both came together again in a hot searing kiss, tongues wrapping around each others, hands flying over bodies finding the special places that made them gasp out in pleasure, their still clothed members rubbing against each others causing a heat to build between them.

 

They both pulled apart quickly when they heard a small cry. Yumi was waking, probably to be changed, and they put their clothes back in order to go tend to her. Before leaving, Sesshoumaru reached forward and grabbed Miroku close, kissing him softly once more, trying with his actions to thank the monk for accepting him and allowing him to release the burden he had carried for so many years.