InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ The Pages of My Life ❯ The Ways I Miss You ( Chapter 15 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

A/N: Hey everyone! Long time no see I know, sorry about that. You all know how life can get I'm sure hehe. You might have noticed recently that it said updated for all the Pages Chapters. The reason I haven't updated any new material is because I've be revamping all the old chapters. I put them all finally in the same format getting the spacing and everything from when my computer died finally fixed. And rewriting and cleaning up some mistakes. For the most part if you were to go back and reread you wouldn't notice many changes, except maybe in Chapter 3 during the accident and Chapter 8 I did some slight tweaking. It's nothing you need to go back and reread and was mostly for myself. I just think it looks so much cleaner now hehe.

Holy crap it hasn't really been since Halloween since I updated this has it?? Damn…Now I feel bad. Well I'm really sorry everyone! I got caught up in updating my other two stories and poor pages got neglected.Well I'm trying to get the next chapter out sometime next week, so maybe that'll make up for my lack of love for this story a bit. *Le sigh* hehe Oh well no since dwelling, on to my thank you's!

BlackLotus: Thank you again for your constant reviews! You're the best reader an author could ask for :D Yea this chapter isn't tooo terribly long unfortunately It had to be cut off out of 16 pages I'm working on, so it was either shorten it and post this part early or you'd be waiting until at least next week to read the entire chapter. Something is better than nothing right?? Well I hope you like the new chapters! Thanks again! Princess-In-Training: Yes they're quite adorable right now hehe. More fluff to come yay! I think I'm actually starting to like writing fluff haha oh jeeze :p Thanks for your reviews!!! Tarzan: haha that's so cool you came over from ff to review here too! You'll be getting two thankyou's lucky you! Yea just read the note above for the revisions I just did. But thanks very much! I wasn't actually expecting anyone to notice the `updated' thing.

Hope you all enjoy it and I'll try and get some out quicker for you in the future! Please review if you've got the time, I love reading them so much. Laurell~

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I looked at the phone curiously after hanging it up, watching the name Kagome drop from the screen and go back to displaying the time. Rolling up the bag of chips I had been munching on I threw them in the cabinet and went to change into something other than the clothes I had worn at work.

After finding something decent I dialed my cell to the movie times and scribbling them down with a pen into the palm of my hand while pacing through the house. Satisfied I had done everything necessary I dropped down to my bed to wait. I could have gone and watched TV but for some reason I liked the silence better at the moment. Something felt odd today and I couldn't quite place it…

Laying back on the bed I struggled to put my finger on what I could be overlooking. It was then I realized what day it was and shut my eyes tight groaning. Kagome was already on her way…I couldn't call her back and cancel…

`No.' I decided firmly. I wasn't going to run and avoid everyone for a week or however long it would take this time. I wasn't going to shut myself in, not yet at least. I had to at least try to not fall into my usual habits.

A knock came softly on the old wooden door before I could debate myself to death anymore thankfully. I had barely opened it before the petite girl had thrown herself inside and into my arms and I smiled nuzzling into her hair and hugging her back. Somehow whenever Kagome was around everything felt right…it was peaceful her by my side. I didn't have to worry or pretend, she was just Kagome, and everything about her was so warm.

It was insane how different she was around me from the first time I had spoken with her. From just days ago, every time I saw her again she seemed a little happier, a little more alive with every phone call.

“What are you spacing out about now?” She giggled nudging me.

“Nah just nice to see you again.” I covered easily giving her another quick squeeze before letting go to grab my wallet and keys.

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As usual the movies had gone wonderfully with Inuyasha, despite the fact I buried my head into his shirt and screamed more than I watched the gory horror flick, but he didn't seem to mind that.

Night had fallen quickly and as we left our time alcove I checked my watch by habit, always surprised how late it is when you leave the theaters. The sturdy one way doors clamped shut behind us rushing us into the warm air, even with it being well into the night the summer weather prevailed leaving no room for a chill to follow the dark.

“It's almost eight already, want to call it a night?” I tilted my face up to watch for his answer; honestly I knew I shouldn't have gone out with him at all. I should have been home doing some last minute studying for my psychology test tomorrow night but I was tired of books and Inuyasha was irresistible in comparison to them.

“It's still early; I don't mind staying out if you don't.” I shook my head with a soft smile. “Settled then.” He said threading his fingers through mine. “Let's go get dessert.”

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I could still taste the chocolate on her lips when I kissed her goodnight, mingling with her usual tastes and smells. I would have liked to have dropped her off on a door step like an old fashion date ending, me shining as the gentlemen. But with Kagome's independence and more modern settings, I settled for walking her to her car.

She opened her door leaning in to throw her purse and keys in and I rested my elbows hanging off the rather unstable top of the door frame. She smiled turning to face me, such a warm smile, the orange glow of the street lights reflecting off her eyes and hair all the while.

Then like always she was gone as soon as she arrived. Off to run the world or whatever else occupied 95% of her time, truthfully though I was just glad to be in the running, for both of our sakes.

Sighing happily I bounced up the stairs my keys jingling in my pocket and pushed open the stubborn wood door. Unknown to her, everything in my apartment now reminded me of Kagome. All the decorations and any matching colors or patterns breathed of her and she had unconsciously laced the place with her image everywhere I looked. I vaguely thought in the back of my mind if we ever broke up I'd probably have to move again, not that moving was an issue for me naturally.

But I shook my head stubbornly tossing even the thought of it aside. `No jinxing', I told myself and locked the front door to relax the rest of the night before hopefully getting some sleep. But I knew that probably wouldn't happen for the rest of the week, and I knew why but I was trying to push that thought out of my head. It always happened this time of year though, the time when my mother had died…

Maybe if I could have been able to grieve, or even visit her grave, some solace of a normal and healthy way to deal with the loss. But my life had been anything but described as those adjectives and so I shut my eyes pinched the bridge of my nose hard until I could feel the blood in my fingers pulsing.

`This year is different…This year you're back in America. You're your own person, with your own job, place, and they haven't a clue where you've come to. And most importantly, you have Kagome now.' I comforted myself.

`And how long will that last before you scare her away too?' I screw my eyes shut as a voice different entirely from my own speaks up, a long dead memory flashing before me. It was of another girl, one that went with another life, one that needed no more of my thoughts as I was concerned.

When I opened my eyes again nearly twenty minutes had passed. I sighed again standing up from the couch and stretching my arms. `Had the lights been off this whole time?' I wondered absently heading for my room and hoping for much needed rest tonight.

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“Inu?...Inuyasha?” I snapped back to reality when I saw a hand waving in front of my face quickly pushing Miroku back and glaring at him.

“What?” I asked gruffly.

“Man you have had a stick up your ass all WEEK. What's up?” I rolled my eyes and swiveled my chair away from him, but Miroku promptly shoved it back with his foot.

“I'm tired, haven't slept much lately.” I rubbed a hand over my face groggily to emphasize my point and pray he left it at that, but it was Miroku, so naturally that wasn't happening.

“Ah…,” His grin widened. “Been having fun with the Miss-” But before he could finish the sentence I grabbed the back of his chair cranking it back hard enough to just about topple him, then fling him forward when I let go again.

“Fine, if you're going to be such a dick about it, go deliver these to the tellers.” He threw a few mail bags over his shoulder which I happily caught to get out of the office and see something different.

Rolling my shoulder I sighed leaning my head back to peer strangely at my reflection in the mirror on top of the elevator. Why was everything reflective here? I wondered looking at the way the bags hung even worse from this angle under my eyes. I was trying so hard to do all this the normal way, the legal way. No perks, no quick fix's with a sleeping pill or a Vicodin. Leading just a normal, somewhat healthy, decent lifestyle like ever other average Joe out there. But It was proving harder than I thought with the burdens and the past I carried…I had forgotten what it was like to deal with these things sober for so long.

Thoughtfully I rubbed my cell phone hanging in my pocket. I did have one thing going for me, one very important thing, and if I had to deal with all this other shit just to keep that one degree of a perfection I would, Kagome. It had been too long since I had been able to see her, just relax near her and feel more peaceful and clear. But I had been a wreck this week and couldn't have been able to explain why to her, so I knew it was better to just keep her back for a bit. I decided I needed to call her tonight though, I was feeling up to it and once I was around her I was confident I'd be just fine again.

Walking briskly through the lobby and assortment of brief case carrying suits I stopped before the only teller window open and a girl turned to smile pleasantly to me.

“How's it going?” She asked casually seeing my name tag. I shrugged not really expressing anything but not being entirely rude. “Hey you're from the mail room?” She asked after looking a bit closer.

“Yea, why?”

“Do you know Miroku then?”

`Oh god.' I mentally rolled my eyes waiting for the usual spiel of `He's so nice!' `Can you give him my number?' which would a week later no doubt be followed by, `Do you know if he's seeing anyone else?' `Ask him why he isn't calling me.' I groaned but nodded sealing my fate. Looking up though I was surprised to see her snickering to herself quietly.

“You know that guy thinks he's so smooth. He's come in here twice today knocking all of these girls off their feet batting his eyes at `em with those cheap one liners. What a `wanna be playboy huh?” She laughed to herself going through the bags I had handed her.

“Inuyasha.” I extended my hand across the counter swiftly immediately deciding this girl deserved an introduction. She smiled shaking it.

“Sango.” She replied flicking her pony tail behind her when she moved her head.

“You don't know how good it is to meet someone who finally sees him the way I do.” I grinned leaning over the counter.

“I think I'm going to be glad to have met you Inuyasha.” She laughed.

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I shifted my grip on the two large files in my arms and tried to signal one of my bosses' attention again. She continued to chatter away on her cordless headset and started walking around the office. I sighed following behind her. When she finally stopped to examine some papers in the mail room I mouthed `Dr. Lee is still waiting' holding my finger up for line one and pointing urgently to the phone. She waved me off and I spun around to stomp back to my desk.

Muttering, I went back to my work but found myself hardly able to accomplish anything with the phones ringing off the hook. `Do all girls my age have to deal with crap like this? No! No is the answer! They're all still receiving their allowance checks every month!'

Still grumbling I slipped my glasses back on trying to focus on a spreadsheet. Right when I thought I had finally figured out which total was out of balance Eri plopped down on my desk with a dramatic moan.

“Yes?” I said through gritted teeth not looking up at her.

“Russ is in such an awful mood today, I just got completely reamed for something that was so not my fault.” She whined.

“Maybe because you keep calling him Russ instead of Mr. Benson.” I said tersely, she ignored my tone and continued her complaining, but after several minutes of not responding she took a hint.

“Hey what's wrong with you today?”

“Nothing.” I barked. A bookkeeper I needed to speak to rushed by before I could stop her with Eri being in the way.

“Something's obviously wrong Kagome.” She looked down studying her perfect manicure closely. It seemed that everything today was grating on my last nerve.

“Answer the phones for me Eri I'm going out for some fresh air.” Snagging my purse from under the desk I walked out briskly until I knew I was tucked far enough behind the building to be out of sight. Slumped against the cool wall I dug into my purse pulling out the crumpled pack of cigarettes, sighing that it had to come to this for me to relax. Pulling one out I left it to dangle on the tip of my lips while I kept searching for my lighter.

I leaned heavily against the wall behind me and exhaled the bitter gray air. The truth was, much to my dismay, Eri was right, something was wrong. It had been a few days since I had seen Inuyasha last, and it was bothering much more than I was willing to admit. We were both very busy people though, and I mean it wasn't like I needed to see him daily. So why was it I had been feeling miserable every since?

Things just felt so bleak without him, like something was out of place by him missing. But I had only known him maybe two weeks at most, so why was he having so much of an affect on me? I had already told myself I wasn't going to let things get too serious and myself get hurt again. Inuyasha was fun to be around, and it was nice to have some company but as with all men I didn't expect it to last. So what was the point in getting all obsessed over someone, that sort of behavior only led to heartbreak, I knew this above anything else.

I groaned shutting my lashes tight and tried to not think about him. I had school and my career to focus on, `Inuyasha is just a gorgeous and sweet distraction, but you by no means stop functioning without him.' I reminded myself. But my pep talks weren't working because I did miss him, and I wasn't functioning as well because of all the time I was spending thinking about him. Most would have been delighted to be missing their boyfriend I was fretting a hole in my lip the way I was chewing it.

“There's nothing wrong with being a little attached to someone…Everything is going great, I'll see him again soon and then I'll just sweep all these thoughts under the rug and pretend they never existed. You're just overanalyzing this as usual.” I told myself firmly, almost to the point I believed it.

My head feeling less muggy than before I stubbed out my cigarette flicking it into the plants, and headed back inside. But the rest of the day all through work, and to follow me home one thought lingered.

`Does he miss me too?'

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A/N: Don't smoke kiddies! It's a horrible habit and Kagome doesn't do it because it makes her feel adult or cool, its represents some deeper things in her life. But yea I didn't want anyone to think she was just doing it `because' or I endorse it, that's very far from the truth. And my husband will tell you, he gets beat with a lead pipe when he comes home smelling like smoke! (Not literally people but I do get pissed.)

Next chapter already in the works, yay Kagome will get to meet Sango & Miroku! Review if you can. Until then, ja ne! Laurell~

Disclaimer: Um I own a cute little Sango keychain and some Inuyasha phone straps, but that's all :p