InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ The Secret Club ❯ The End ( Chapter 19 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: NinjaGamer 
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Drama / Hentai / Romance | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 02.18.2012 | Pages: 4 | Words: 6.7K | Visits: 1.2K | Status: Completed
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Drama / Hentai / Romance | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 02.18.2012 | Pages: 4 | Words: 6.7K | Visits: 1.2K | Status: Completed
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any characters associated with it. This story is rated for a mature audience.Lemon warning.
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Kagome felt like an entirely different woman, her life just starting to move forward again. Three years had passed since the disastrous end to her engagement with Inuyasha. She moved back home, abandoning the city for the solitude of the countryside. It had been a hard adjustment, mostly due to her mother’s constant badgering to find out what happened. The worst of it came after Kagome had broken down and told her. She didn’t shy away about sleeping with other men and having threesomes, but she figured the orgies and gangbangs were a little much for her mother to handle – especially with the number of times she had participated in them. Her mother’s reaction had taken her by surprise. She had been expecting anger and righteous judgment. Instead, it seemed like her mother pitied her. Kagome wasn’t sure which one was worse.
Her grandfather passed only six months after she moved back in, tearing another hole in her already tattered heart. Besides her mother and brother, she had no emotional support. Her friends were all back in the city, and while she phoned and texted Sango, their relationship wasn’t quite the same. She would visit Sango from time to time, but she always felt apprehensive meeting her. Seeing Sango and Miroku brought back feelings she was trying to keep buried. It was a constant struggle to resist the temptation she felt around them, knowing full well they would accept her into bed if she asked – maybe even hoping she would ask. That was a slippery slope she wanted to avoid. It had been painful and difficult pulling herself out of that life before. She doubted she would be able to do it again.
An announcement sounded over the speakers, pulling Kagome from her thoughts. The woman’s voice sweet and full of pep, making her jealous at how some people managed to make even the most routine sound enjoyable. Kagome double checked her ticket to make sure hers matched. Her eyes fell to the ring sitting on her finger. It was nowhere near as fanciful as Inuyasha’s engagement ring had been, but in the area she was living in now, it was top-notch. Chest tightening, she forced her eyes away. Standing, she collected her luggage.
“Kagome!” a voice called out. She turned at the familiar voice, smiling as the man rushed over to her, a coffee in each hand. “Sorry, the line was long.”
“That’s fine,” she said, relieving him of one of his cups. She took a moment to size up her fiancée. With short brown hair, blue eyes, and average build and height, Hojo wasn’t bad looking. Her new circle of friends in the country went on and on about how lucky she was to get someone so dreamy. Maybe it was because she grew up with him or spent so long in the city, but Hojo seemed… average, boring even. Kagome liked him, but their relationship lacked the special something she felt with Inuyasha. It felt like she was simply tolerating him, going through the motions like she was on autopilot. I guess tolerance is good enough, she thought, taking a sip of the coffee. After all, love is not required in an arranged marriage. Hojo was everything Kagome’s mother wanted in a son-in-law, probably why she picked him. While Kagome did have a say, she ultimately accepted her mother’s choice for her and went through with the engagement. She wanted to put as much distance from her past relationship with Inuyasha as she could – a challenge considering how much her thoughts still drifted back to him. The connection she shared with him had been something special. She wondered if she would ever forget her love for him, or even if she could.
Besides, she needed safe, and Hojo was as safe and secure as a man gets. That they had been engaged for over a year and a half and had yet to have sex was proof of that.
God, I need to get laid, she thought, taking another sip of the coffee. The last time she had sex was the threesome with Inuyasha and Kikyo, not exactly the best thing to think back on. Three years seemed an eternity to her. She wondered if something was wrong with her. It was like her sex drive had been put into overdrive and just left there. She masturbated nearly every night, only temporarily sating her need, and only that brought the boiling need within her to a tolerable murmur. She thought that her engagement with Hojo would bring an end to that, but their relationship was progressing agonizingly slow. Only recently had they started kissing on the lips.
In a way, she felt guilty about being with someone like Hojo. To her, it seemed like he deserved someone better than her. He would have made any other woman incredibly happy. When Kagome realized he was serious about his intentions for her, she told him everything about herself and her past. Unlike her mother, she gave him all the details. He knew about the orgies and gangbangs and how much she had enjoyed them. Maybe she was trying to scare him away – to have him reject her. Yet even knowing this, he still went ahead and asked her to marry him.
“They call you to board yet?” he asked, oblivious to her thoughts.
She glanced down at her ticket. “They just did.”
He nodded, accepting the coffee back. He took a deep breath, giving her a smile. He’s okay to look at. Things could have been worse. She leaned forward to give him a quick kiss. It was tame, like it was mandatory instead of something emotional. “I’ll miss you,” he said as she pulled away.
“I’m only going to be gone four days,” she said, pulling her bag over her shoulder.
He smiled. “Have fun.”
“Listening to a bunch of old people droning on about this and that? Please.” He laughed, getting a smile out of her.
“Bye,” he said as she backed away, starting towards the gate. She gave him a brief wave and turned around. “I love you,” she heard him call.
“Love you too,” she said automatically over her shoulder. There was no emotion behind the words. She wondered if he knew that. Did he really love her? Did she love him? Maybe, but it was a different sort of love than she had known with Inuyasha. Even Miroku and Sango elicited stronger emotions from her.
Stop overthinking it, she thought, mentally chastising herself. This is my life now. As dull as it felt, she knew it was better than the alternative.
**********************
Sitting on the plane, Kagome flipped through the magazine she had brought, her right hand idly playing with her short hair. One of the changes she had made in her makeover had been to cut her hair. It was now just above shoulder length, and despite being this way for close to two years, she still treated it as if it had been done a few days ago. It made her wonder if she should grow it back out.
Her hand froze as an article caught her attention. It was about two sisters who started a successful business together. The picture below the title showed two women, both smiling with the taller leaning slightly on the others shoulder; seeing it made her think of her own sister. Like her, Kikyo had undergone life changes after that night. Her relationship with Maiko was stronger than ever. Kagome had met her several times when they came up for holidays. She even went up to visit them a few times, spending a few weekends with them. Things weren’t completely normal for the sisters yet. It helped a little talking about what happened between them. That had been one of the most awkward nights of Kagome’s life, especially with Maiko being there. She had wondered why Kikyo and Kagome were acting so uncomfortable around each other, so they told her what had happened between them. She had been shocked when they told her, but she took it in stride. Kagome was amazed at how accepting she was – though Kagome picked up on her relief when they said it only happened once and hell would freeze over before it happened again.
Now, Kagome was jealous of her sister. She saw how she was with Maiko, how they looked and acted towards each other. In a way, her relationship with Inuyasha was like that – when they weren’t busy sleeping with other people. Comparing that to what she had now, and what she had to look forward to, it didn’t seem fair. Kagome wasn’t going to fool herself. She knew she would never love Hojo like that, but she didn’t dare think of breaking it off. Her mother had arranged the marriage, hoping that the small town boy would bring stability and be a proper role model to her wayward daughter. Kagome was in agreement. Hojo might not be what she wanted, but he was what she needed.
Once we actually get around to having sex… She sighed out loud. Wishful thinking. Their first time would probably be the night of the wedding. Six months… I just need to wait another six months. Hojo was the one who wanted to wait a few years before getting married. While the time leading up to the engagement was short, he had made it clear to both Kagome and her mother that he wanted to get to know his future wife. Kagome just wished he would show interest in getting to know her a little more intimately.
The thought of sex always made her think of Inuyasha. She couldn’t help thinking about what he was up to. How he was doing, who he was with. She imagined what it would be like if he had opened the door. What would they be doing if they had made up? Would her life really be like that dream? After all, it had only been a dream, conjured by her sleeping mind after a night of lust-filled, passionate, wonderful, wonderful sex.
God, stop thinking about it! She shifted slightly in her seat, clearing her throat. She was making herself antsy. She checked her watch. There was still three more hours before they landed. Leaning her head back against the seat, she closed her eyes. She already knew what she was going to do when she got to the hotel…
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One of the perks about being invited to a conference was the room. To Kagome, it was more a small apartment than a hotel room. After stashing her luggage near the couch, Kagome tipped the staff member who helped her and wondered around the room. The carpet was a lush red, the walls painted an odd white. The wood trim was a dark cherry, as with all the wooden furniture like the dresser and table. There was a small workable kitchen, the single bathroom was enormous, complete with a Jacuzzi tub and massive shower. A large flat screen TV was placed on the wall across from the leather couch. Opening a pair of double white doors led to the bedroom. The bed was a king, with cherry frame and black covers. Kagome was amazed they put her in a room like this by herself. All free, compliments of the people who put together the conference. The entire reason she was here at all was a fluke in her mind. One of the hosts had been a former teacher that she impressed. He helped her publish her first paper, which ultimately led her here.
Collapsing back on the bed, Kagome took in a deep breath. It wasn’t long before the familiar feeling tickled at her stomach. Knowing she wouldn’t be able to resist much longer, she stripped – carefully laying out her clothes so they wouldn’t wrinkle. A few minutes later, her whimpers and moans filled the empty hotel room, her hand furious at work; bringing her ever closer to the release she desired.
**********************
Kagome woke with a start, taking a few seconds to remember where she was. It felt odd being alone in such a large bed. Sitting up, she stretched her arms, letting the covers fall away. The cold air of the hotel hit her bare skin. Knowing she would never get up if she got back under the covers, she forced herself out of bed and shuffled towards the bathroom. She was always regretful in the morning, even more so today. This wonderful new city and I spend my first night in the hotel masturbating. She had no idea what had come over her. One orgasm did little to quench her lust, causing her to spend a fair amount of the evening in bed pleasuring herself. Thinking of Inuyasha always does that to me.
Stepping into the shower, she let the warm water run over her. Once more, her eyes were on her finger, staring at the ring. She never thought about Hojo when she pleasured herself. Even after everything, Inuyasha still haunted her fantasies; Miroku and Sango following close behind. She missed it – that wanton lifestyle of love and lust. Even after three years, her heart still ached when she thought of him. Kagome knew he was ‘the one,’ her soul mate, but fate had put them on differing paths. He traveled down a road I could not follow. She clenched her fists. No, I could have easily continued with him. I chose not to.
Sighing, she pushed thoughts of Inuyasha and her old life away as she turned the water off. As much as she wanted to, she couldn’t stay in the shower and think about what could have been. She had lectures to get ready for.
**********************
The guest speakers were every bit as boring as Kagome imagined they would be. Even though they were all about history, they focused on obscure topics or topics that she held no interest in. Despite this, she smiled and socialized like a good guest, making light conversation with other guests and some of the speakers themselves. When speaking with the lecturers, Kagome tried to keep the conversation on areas she was awake for.
Kagome was in the middle of speaking with a professor whose name escaped her when something caught her attention out of the corner of her eye. Turning her head, she was shocked to find a familiar face moving through the crowd. Her head quickly snapped back as his gaze swept over in her direction. No, that’s not him. It can’t be. It’s impossible. Cautiously, she turned her head to get another look. Sure enough, there on the other side of the room was Inuyasha, currently talking with two professors. A flood of emotions washed through her. She had no idea what to make of everything. Rage, joy, desire, hatred, love and more rolled together within her. It took her a second to realize that she was ignoring the man she had been talking to. He was still rambling on, oblivious to her lack of attention.
“Excuse me a moment,” she said, stopping him midsentence. She quickly moved away before he could respond. All she cared about now was escaping before he saw her. She weaved through the crowd as quickly as she could without her rush being evident. She glanced over to where she had last seen him, only to realize he was gone. Panic rushed through her as she scanned the area. Most of the people were taller than her, making it difficult to see in the distance.
Forget finding him, just get to the door! Her attention elsewhere, she took two steps before running into someone. Looking up, she felt the color drain from her face. Standing right in front of her was none other than a surprised Inuyasha.
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Inuyasha almost didn’t give the woman a second look. There had been a lot of women who had been ‘carelessly’ bumping into him lately. Bedding any of them would have been simple. Their intentions were obvious enough. Still, he politely brushed them off. He just wasn’t interested, not anymore.
It took him awhile to realize how much he had changed after Kagome left. At first, he expected her to call him, or show up at his apartment. They would talk about things, make-up, and go back to what they enjoyed. It took three weeks for him to understand that she had meant what she said: that their relationship was over.
He tried returning to how he lived before Kagome. He returned to his long-neglected harem – the women almost throwing themselves at him, overjoyed at his return. The sex was glorious and abundant, but hollow. There was suddenly no point. He had no one to share his exploits with, no one to share tales of debauchery with. The sight of his loved one with another man was gone. The sounds of her cries of passion as another man brought her to orgasm were silent. Kagome was gone from his life, and no other woman would ever replace her.
Two halves of himself were in a state of war. On one side, he regretted everything. His words were insensitive and selfish. He was the one who pushed Kagome to become what she was. For months, she had been the woman he wanted her to be, and when she finally decided that wasn’t the woman she wanted to be, he had lashed out at her. The other side regretted nothing. Kagome ultimately may not have wanted to be the type of woman who enjoyed the embrace of multiple men, but she certainly played the part well. The months they had been together had been the best of his life – the sex unbeatable. Her greatness and willingness to please him had culminated in that one glorious night when both her and her sister joined him in bed. That night forever haunted him as the apex of his sex life and the act that brought it all to ruin.
Part of him felt that it was worth it, losing Kagome for the experience. For a long time, that part felt much larger than it was. As time passed, he realized how large a hole Kagome had left. The knowledge that nothing he did would ever fill it was sobering. After recognizing this, change came quickly. He no longer desired women as he used to. He would still occasionally sleep with a woman who caught his attention, or served to farther a goal, but they were few and far between.
The only woman he visited on a regular basis was Sango. She and Miroku were the only two people he could consider friends. At the beginning, he would always ask about Kagome as they both lay, spent from vigorous lovemaking. He wasn’t sure if he stopped asking, or if Sango quit telling him. Things had changed between the three as Inuyasha changed himself. For the first year after the breakup, Inuyasha had spent many nights enjoying Sango alongside Miroku. Things slowly changed so that he was spending more nights alone with just Sango. Finally, things settled so that they were no longer sleeping together, the three enjoying each other’s company as friends rather than feeling compelled to do anything else.
It had been like that for months and Inuyasha finally understood that what he desired now was a relationship like the one he had with Kagome; the real one, hidden under the muck of their mistakes and his stupidity. He knew that Kagome had been his one shot, and that he had blown it. Knowing that he would never have another chance, never find another like her was almost too much.
He knew running into her here, at a conference in the middle of nowhere, was a sign that something larger connected them. It was true that he almost didn’t recognize her at first glance. Her hair was shorter and she seemed thinner than he remembered. Most of all, there was a mature air about her. How she carried herself, held her head, it was all subtlety different than the woman he remembered.
“Kagome?” he said slowly, not quite believing his eyes. She didn’t meet his gaze. It almost appeared she was disappointed at having been seen.
Finally, after a few seconds, she met his gaze. He never really appreciated those brown eyes more than he did at this very moment. “Inuyasha,” she said coldly. She had every right to be angry with him, and he figured she would be. But that even knowing that did little to blunt the sting of her tone. Despite everything, he had hoped... After all, three years was a long time.
“H-how have you been?” he asked, a million things coming to mind all at once.
She shrugged. “Okay I guess.”
She’s not going to make this easy… is she? “That’s… good to hear.” There was an awkward silence as the two stood there, him not knowing what to say and her having no desire to say anything.
Seeing that he wasn’t going to say anything else, she gave him a curt nod. “Goodbye then,” she said as she sidestepped him.
“Wait, Kagome,” he started. Not thinking, he reached out to grab her arm. Her glare caused him to pull his hands back as if she had scorched him. “S-sorry,” he said quickly. “A-about everything,” he added. “I messed up.”
“Yeah, you did.”
His words seemed to want to hang up in his throat. “Please, can we talk?”
Her eyes were unsympathetic. “I don’t think we have anything to talk about.”
“Please Kagome, just a few minutes.” There was a long silence, and for a while, he fully expected her to say no.
After an antagonizing silence, her expression softened somewhat. “A few minutes.”
They walked to the hotel bar. At this time of the day, they were alone minus the bored looking bartender. After taking their orders, he left, leaving the two in uncomfortable silence. Inuyasha realized that he had asked her to talk, only he suddenly had nothing to talk about. Just looking at her made everything go blank.
“I know nothing I say will ever make up for what I did,” he started, finding his voice. “And no amount of apologizing will ever express how much I am sorry – nor will it ever be enough.” Kagome remained silent, not meeting his eye. The bartender returned, setting their drinks in front of them before disappearing once more. With the heavy atmosphere between them, it was no wonder he made such a quick escape.
Kagome’s voice surprised him. “Do you ever wonder what would have happened if you hadn’t left?”
“Every day,” he said, staring down at his beer. “Every time I wake up alone, I regret it.”
She grunted softly. “So what, once or twice a year?”
“It’s a lot more often than you would think,” he said, his tone slightly heated. “I’ve changed a lot since then.” He looked up to find her staring at him. “What?”
“You look just like I remember you.” It could have been his wishful thinking, but it almost sounded like she was happy.
“You’ve… changed a bit,” he said with a grin. Her hand automatically moved to her hair. “I like it.” Her smile made his chest swell. It was like seeing a light after a very long darkness. She must have remembered who she was with because it quickly disappeared, her hand returning to her lap as she turned her head away. Inuyasha felt his hopes die a little. He knew it would be impossible for anything to come from this meeting. Too many mistakes, mostly his, had occurred for there to ever be a connection between them again. After they left the bar, chances were he would never see her again. As much as that hurt to accept, he still needed to bear with the pain and try, will everything he had, to at least let this parting be civil. To put a tolerable mark on the ending to their relationship.
There was a long silence. He struggled to think of what to say, something, anything that wouldn’t have her immediately pull back. Despite all his thinking, it was her who broke the silence first. She let out a small laugh, slowly shaking her head. “Out of all the terrible things we did, we could never be satisfied. Why did we always push for more? Why couldn’t we just be happy with what we had? If it hadn’t been for that one night…”
Inuyasha felt his throat tighten. This was affirmation on just how much that night had affected her. Even after three years, she still thinks about it. “I’m sorry.” It was pathetic. All he could say was that he was sorry, and no matter how many times he said it, it wouldn’t make things any better.
She looked at him, her eyes moist with tears that refused to fall. “I miss it Inuyasha. Everything. Sango and Miroku. The sex. You… I think about it more than I should. I enjoyed it more than I should have too. It hurts knowing it’s all gone.”
“I should have been more supportive. I knew a part of you enjoyed it, but I should have seen how much stopping meant to you. Instead, I was a selfish, immature ass who wanted everything my way. I was afraid of stopping; afraid that by making such a large change to our relationship, it would destroy it.” He shook his head, giving a dry chuckle as he stared down at his untouched beer. “What a fool I was. I should have seen how much damage that night did to you. I should have seen how much our relationship had already changed.”
“Do you know what the worst part of that night was?” Inuyasha looked up to find Kagome’s head tipped back slightly, her eyes staring off into the distance. “That I enjoyed it.”
“What?”
She gave him a humorless smile, her eyes meeting his. “Sick isn’t it? I loved it. Each and every second.”
“But I thought—”
“That it disgusted me? That it damaged me?” Inuyasha nodded, stunned by her revelation. She let out a huff of air before downing a sizable amount of her beer. “I wish. It would be easier to live with myself.”
“Then why? Why—”
“Did I want to stop?” Once more, he found himself nodding. “Because I was terrified of what I was becoming, of what I had already become. Thinking back on it now horrifies me. You said you’ve thought a lot about what would have happened if we stayed together. Tell me, what did you think life would be like?”
“I—well…” He took a deep breath, collecting his thoughts. Yes he had thought a lot about it, an obscene amount of time on it actually. Yet now that he was on the spot, none of it seemed to come forth. “Well, for one, we would be married.” She stared at him, her complete attention on him as he continued. “We’d probably spend a lot of time with Miroku and Sango, both in bed and out. Chances are we’d have several steady lovers on the side and lots of random one night stands. Maybe an orgy or two.” He couldn’t help but smile at old, pleasant memories that surfaced as he shared one of his many imaginings of a life lost. “And maybe a few surprise gangbangs for my lovely wife on special occasions.”
To his surprise, she actually smiled. “I see you haven’t changed that much.”
“Hey, this is if we never broke up, remember? Nothing like how it would be now.”
She took another sip of beer. “So, any kids in this little fantasy of yours?”
It was odd, how normal this felt. “A few.” He grinned. “I don’t know if they’re mine or not. I have a suspicion that my wife might be seeing other people.”
She laughed. It was a wonderful sound. “It sounds wonderful,” she said, her laugh fading into a more sobering tone. “Much better than mine.”
“What do you mean?”
She stared down at her beer, the smile replaced by a somber expression. “I think mine is a lot like yours in ways. We’d be with other people, that’s for sure. The night with Kikyo wouldn’t be the last, not by a long shot.”
Inuyasha was shocked by what he was hearing. “Really?”
Kagome nodded sadly. “I told you I liked it, remember? It’s why I was so afraid. Why I’m still afraid. With how I was back then, what if we had kids? What if…” She took a shaken breath. “What if I did things with them too?”
“No! That would never happen!”
“And how do you know? Inuyasha, you knew what I was like.”
“Yeah, but… No, you aren’t that type of person.”
“I slept with my sister.”
“That’s… different.” She frowned at him. “She’s an adult.”
Kagome laughed. “Funny thing about kids is that they have the annoying tendency to become adults.”
“Still, you never would have done something like that.”
She sighed. “Maybe you’re right. But I still don’t like that person I was.”
“What about now?”
Kagome looked down at her hand. For the first time, Inuyasha noticed the engagement ring on her finger. “I think I can tolerate me now.”
Something clung at Inuyasha’s throat. He knew she would move on with life. That was expected. Three years was a long time. Still, seeing that she had already found someone else… it was hard. “Who’s the lucky man?”
“Huh?” She followed his gaze to her ring. She covered it with her other hand, as if she was embarrassed. “He’s someone I knew from childhood. My mom set it all up.”
“An arranged marriage?”
“Something like that.”
“That doesn’t sound like you.”
“No, but it needed to be done. It’s something stable.”
“Does he know?”
“Getting a little personal, aren’t we?”
“Sorry,” he said, looking down.
“I’m kidding. Yes he knows. Everything.”
“Wow, and he still agreed to marry you?”
She punched him on the arm. It wasn’t hard, or at least, he didn’t think it was. “He’s a complete gentlemen, sensitive and loving. Unlike someone I knew.”
“Sounds boring. I bet he’s lame in bed.”
She was silent for a long time. “I wouldn’t know,” she said before finishing her beer.
“What? Seriously? You haven’t slept with him?”
“I think that is none of your business!”
“You poor thing…”
Laughing, Kagome waved the bartender down to order another drink. For the first time since they started talking, Inuyasha took a drink of his own.
**********************
Kagome was surprised at how things had ended up. She thought she would be furious at Inuyasha. She certainly had been when they first started talking. Yet the longer they talked, the more she opened up. Within an hour, they were laughing and having a good time, like nothing had ever happened. Everything just seemed… natural. It was why she was sad when it was time for them to part ways. She wished they had more time. She wished for a lot of things. Sadly, life did its best to make sure wishes never came true.
He escorted her to her hotel room. Kagome didn’t mind. It just meant they had a few extra minutes together. Them running into each other here was a cosmic joke, a way of reminding them what they lost before sending them off on paths that would never again intersect.
“Well… this is me,” she said, stopping in front of her door.
He nodded, taking a deep breath. “I don’t know about you, but I’m glad we met again. How we left things… I’m glad we got a second chance to say goodbye on a happier note.”
She smiled. “I am too.” Looking up at him, staring into his eyes… She felt the familiar rush go through her, pulling her towards him. She wanted him, she wanted everything that she had lost. Her heart raced as he leaned down. She closed her eyes, waiting for his lips against hers…
He lips pressed against her forehead. Disappointed, she opened her eyes as he pulled away, smiling. “Goodbye Kagome.”
“That’s it?” she found herself saying as he turned around to leave. Her face turned beet red when she realized she said her thought aloud.
He turned around slowly, a puzzled look on his face. “I’m sorry?”
“I… uh… Nothing,” she stuttered, quickly sliding her key into the door. It beeped as the electronic lock clicked open. She was halfway inside when she stopped. Looking back, she saw him with the same confused expression on his face. This will be the last time I ever see him… She could hear her heart pounding in her ears, her eyes resting on the ring on her finger…
**********************
Three years had been a long time. Kagome had almost forgotten how vastly superior the real thing was to masturbation. She knew sleeping with Inuyasha was stupid. He had been a key factor in destroying her life. Now, she was doing her best to destroy what she had rebuilt. But the guilt and regret would have to come later. Right now, she was focused on just one thing – remembering how wonderful it was riding Inuyasha.
It was a passion filled day. They would collapse, soaked in sweat and gasping for air, take a break to recover, then she would quickly mount him again for another go. What she had expected to be a one-time thing quickly turned into an all-day event. They did it in multiple positions, at all sorts of paces. When they were too tired to move, they just kissed. It was like they were trying to fit three years of sex into a day.
Only it wasn’t just a day. With the wonders of room service, the two never left Kagome’s hotel room. The bed, the couch, floor, shower, everything was fair game. Their reasons for being here were completely forgotten. They lost themselves in the embrace of each other. But the dream had to end, and the day of Kagome’s flight was upon them. After one last passion-filled shower, Kagome was busy packing while Inuyasha dressed in the clothes he had worn when she invited him inside days ago.
“So… uh… What does this mean?”
“What do you mean?” she asked, putting her luggage near the door. God I’m sore. She mentally smiled. Sore but happy.
“What happened here between us.”
She sighed. “Inuyasha, I’m getting married.” She was surprised at how matter-of-fact she sounded. It was also the first time she thought of Hojo this entire time. There was also the complete lack of regret or guilt that normally would be associated with infidelity of this sort.
“Wait, you’re still getting married?”
“What? Wait, you thought that just because I had sex with you, I would break it off?”
“Uh…”
It was the first time she felt bad for what she had done. Not because what she had done to Hojo, but what she had done to Inuyasha. “I… It’s been a long time for me.”
“So that’s all this was? A quick fuck to tide you over until the wedding?”
“I would rather think of it as a loving goodbye between old friends.” He was about to say something when she interrupted him. “Before you say anything else, I want you to listen to me. Please Inuyasha, this has been perfect. I will always cherish what happened here between us. Don’t ruin our last memories together. Please.”
He opened his mouth, paused, then closed it. It was heartbreaking to see his sorrowful expression. “Goodbye Kagome. I love you. I always will.”
It took everything she could to hold back her tears. “I love you too.” It was more than a canned response, automatically replayed when needed. She really felt it with everything she was. With that, she took her luggage and left.
**********************
Kagome is gone. She had been for a few minutes. It still didn’t seem real. Meeting her after all this time… talking to her… making love… He stared at the door for a long time. It reminded him of another door, closed forever ago. It was that door that took Kagome away from him, his own stupidity preventing him from opening it. He felt his hands clench together, nails digging in the skin of his palms.
“Not this time.”
Leaping to his feet, he rushed to the door. She left a few minutes ago. There’s still time to catch her. If I hurry…
Flinging open the door, he prepared to sprint down the hall, only to stop short. Standing in front of him was Kagome, still holding her bags.
She smiled up at him, tears in her eyes. “I was about to leave…”
Fighting back tears, he wrapped her in a hug, clutching her to him. “I won’t let you. Not this time. Not ever again.”
**********************
Sorry for the long wait! I hope the ending wasn’t TOO sappy. >.<’
Anyways, I will write a quick epilogue to finish this story up, because I love epilogues! I feel like it’s the cherry on top of a dessert.
Converting /tmp/phplzK2wY to /dev/stdout
**********************
Kagome felt like an entirely different woman, her life just starting to move forward again. Three years had passed since the disastrous end to her engagement with Inuyasha. She moved back home, abandoning the city for the solitude of the countryside. It had been a hard adjustment, mostly due to her mother’s constant badgering to find out what happened. The worst of it came after Kagome had broken down and told her. She didn’t shy away about sleeping with other men and having threesomes, but she figured the orgies and gangbangs were a little much for her mother to handle – especially with the number of times she had participated in them. Her mother’s reaction had taken her by surprise. She had been expecting anger and righteous judgment. Instead, it seemed like her mother pitied her. Kagome wasn’t sure which one was worse.
Her grandfather passed only six months after she moved back in, tearing another hole in her already tattered heart. Besides her mother and brother, she had no emotional support. Her friends were all back in the city, and while she phoned and texted Sango, their relationship wasn’t quite the same. She would visit Sango from time to time, but she always felt apprehensive meeting her. Seeing Sango and Miroku brought back feelings she was trying to keep buried. It was a constant struggle to resist the temptation she felt around them, knowing full well they would accept her into bed if she asked – maybe even hoping she would ask. That was a slippery slope she wanted to avoid. It had been painful and difficult pulling herself out of that life before. She doubted she would be able to do it again.
An announcement sounded over the speakers, pulling Kagome from her thoughts. The woman’s voice sweet and full of pep, making her jealous at how some people managed to make even the most routine sound enjoyable. Kagome double checked her ticket to make sure hers matched. Her eyes fell to the ring sitting on her finger. It was nowhere near as fanciful as Inuyasha’s engagement ring had been, but in the area she was living in now, it was top-notch. Chest tightening, she forced her eyes away. Standing, she collected her luggage.
“Kagome!” a voice called out. She turned at the familiar voice, smiling as the man rushed over to her, a coffee in each hand. “Sorry, the line was long.”
“That’s fine,” she said, relieving him of one of his cups. She took a moment to size up her fiancée. With short brown hair, blue eyes, and average build and height, Hojo wasn’t bad looking. Her new circle of friends in the country went on and on about how lucky she was to get someone so dreamy. Maybe it was because she grew up with him or spent so long in the city, but Hojo seemed… average, boring even. Kagome liked him, but their relationship lacked the special something she felt with Inuyasha. It felt like she was simply tolerating him, going through the motions like she was on autopilot. I guess tolerance is good enough, she thought, taking a sip of the coffee. After all, love is not required in an arranged marriage. Hojo was everything Kagome’s mother wanted in a son-in-law, probably why she picked him. While Kagome did have a say, she ultimately accepted her mother’s choice for her and went through with the engagement. She wanted to put as much distance from her past relationship with Inuyasha as she could – a challenge considering how much her thoughts still drifted back to him. The connection she shared with him had been something special. She wondered if she would ever forget her love for him, or even if she could.
Besides, she needed safe, and Hojo was as safe and secure as a man gets. That they had been engaged for over a year and a half and had yet to have sex was proof of that.
God, I need to get laid, she thought, taking another sip of the coffee. The last time she had sex was the threesome with Inuyasha and Kikyo, not exactly the best thing to think back on. Three years seemed an eternity to her. She wondered if something was wrong with her. It was like her sex drive had been put into overdrive and just left there. She masturbated nearly every night, only temporarily sating her need, and only that brought the boiling need within her to a tolerable murmur. She thought that her engagement with Hojo would bring an end to that, but their relationship was progressing agonizingly slow. Only recently had they started kissing on the lips.
In a way, she felt guilty about being with someone like Hojo. To her, it seemed like he deserved someone better than her. He would have made any other woman incredibly happy. When Kagome realized he was serious about his intentions for her, she told him everything about herself and her past. Unlike her mother, she gave him all the details. He knew about the orgies and gangbangs and how much she had enjoyed them. Maybe she was trying to scare him away – to have him reject her. Yet even knowing this, he still went ahead and asked her to marry him.
“They call you to board yet?” he asked, oblivious to her thoughts.
She glanced down at her ticket. “They just did.”
He nodded, accepting the coffee back. He took a deep breath, giving her a smile. He’s okay to look at. Things could have been worse. She leaned forward to give him a quick kiss. It was tame, like it was mandatory instead of something emotional. “I’ll miss you,” he said as she pulled away.
“I’m only going to be gone four days,” she said, pulling her bag over her shoulder.
He smiled. “Have fun.”
“Listening to a bunch of old people droning on about this and that? Please.” He laughed, getting a smile out of her.
“Bye,” he said as she backed away, starting towards the gate. She gave him a brief wave and turned around. “I love you,” she heard him call.
“Love you too,” she said automatically over her shoulder. There was no emotion behind the words. She wondered if he knew that. Did he really love her? Did she love him? Maybe, but it was a different sort of love than she had known with Inuyasha. Even Miroku and Sango elicited stronger emotions from her.
Stop overthinking it, she thought, mentally chastising herself. This is my life now. As dull as it felt, she knew it was better than the alternative.
**********************
Sitting on the plane, Kagome flipped through the magazine she had brought, her right hand idly playing with her short hair. One of the changes she had made in her makeover had been to cut her hair. It was now just above shoulder length, and despite being this way for close to two years, she still treated it as if it had been done a few days ago. It made her wonder if she should grow it back out.
Her hand froze as an article caught her attention. It was about two sisters who started a successful business together. The picture below the title showed two women, both smiling with the taller leaning slightly on the others shoulder; seeing it made her think of her own sister. Like her, Kikyo had undergone life changes after that night. Her relationship with Maiko was stronger than ever. Kagome had met her several times when they came up for holidays. She even went up to visit them a few times, spending a few weekends with them. Things weren’t completely normal for the sisters yet. It helped a little talking about what happened between them. That had been one of the most awkward nights of Kagome’s life, especially with Maiko being there. She had wondered why Kikyo and Kagome were acting so uncomfortable around each other, so they told her what had happened between them. She had been shocked when they told her, but she took it in stride. Kagome was amazed at how accepting she was – though Kagome picked up on her relief when they said it only happened once and hell would freeze over before it happened again.
Now, Kagome was jealous of her sister. She saw how she was with Maiko, how they looked and acted towards each other. In a way, her relationship with Inuyasha was like that – when they weren’t busy sleeping with other people. Comparing that to what she had now, and what she had to look forward to, it didn’t seem fair. Kagome wasn’t going to fool herself. She knew she would never love Hojo like that, but she didn’t dare think of breaking it off. Her mother had arranged the marriage, hoping that the small town boy would bring stability and be a proper role model to her wayward daughter. Kagome was in agreement. Hojo might not be what she wanted, but he was what she needed.
Once we actually get around to having sex… She sighed out loud. Wishful thinking. Their first time would probably be the night of the wedding. Six months… I just need to wait another six months. Hojo was the one who wanted to wait a few years before getting married. While the time leading up to the engagement was short, he had made it clear to both Kagome and her mother that he wanted to get to know his future wife. Kagome just wished he would show interest in getting to know her a little more intimately.
The thought of sex always made her think of Inuyasha. She couldn’t help thinking about what he was up to. How he was doing, who he was with. She imagined what it would be like if he had opened the door. What would they be doing if they had made up? Would her life really be like that dream? After all, it had only been a dream, conjured by her sleeping mind after a night of lust-filled, passionate, wonderful, wonderful sex.
God, stop thinking about it! She shifted slightly in her seat, clearing her throat. She was making herself antsy. She checked her watch. There was still three more hours before they landed. Leaning her head back against the seat, she closed her eyes. She already knew what she was going to do when she got to the hotel…
**********************
One of the perks about being invited to a conference was the room. To Kagome, it was more a small apartment than a hotel room. After stashing her luggage near the couch, Kagome tipped the staff member who helped her and wondered around the room. The carpet was a lush red, the walls painted an odd white. The wood trim was a dark cherry, as with all the wooden furniture like the dresser and table. There was a small workable kitchen, the single bathroom was enormous, complete with a Jacuzzi tub and massive shower. A large flat screen TV was placed on the wall across from the leather couch. Opening a pair of double white doors led to the bedroom. The bed was a king, with cherry frame and black covers. Kagome was amazed they put her in a room like this by herself. All free, compliments of the people who put together the conference. The entire reason she was here at all was a fluke in her mind. One of the hosts had been a former teacher that she impressed. He helped her publish her first paper, which ultimately led her here.
Collapsing back on the bed, Kagome took in a deep breath. It wasn’t long before the familiar feeling tickled at her stomach. Knowing she wouldn’t be able to resist much longer, she stripped – carefully laying out her clothes so they wouldn’t wrinkle. A few minutes later, her whimpers and moans filled the empty hotel room, her hand furious at work; bringing her ever closer to the release she desired.
**********************
Kagome woke with a start, taking a few seconds to remember where she was. It felt odd being alone in such a large bed. Sitting up, she stretched her arms, letting the covers fall away. The cold air of the hotel hit her bare skin. Knowing she would never get up if she got back under the covers, she forced herself out of bed and shuffled towards the bathroom. She was always regretful in the morning, even more so today. This wonderful new city and I spend my first night in the hotel masturbating. She had no idea what had come over her. One orgasm did little to quench her lust, causing her to spend a fair amount of the evening in bed pleasuring herself. Thinking of Inuyasha always does that to me.
Stepping into the shower, she let the warm water run over her. Once more, her eyes were on her finger, staring at the ring. She never thought about Hojo when she pleasured herself. Even after everything, Inuyasha still haunted her fantasies; Miroku and Sango following close behind. She missed it – that wanton lifestyle of love and lust. Even after three years, her heart still ached when she thought of him. Kagome knew he was ‘the one,’ her soul mate, but fate had put them on differing paths. He traveled down a road I could not follow. She clenched her fists. No, I could have easily continued with him. I chose not to.
Sighing, she pushed thoughts of Inuyasha and her old life away as she turned the water off. As much as she wanted to, she couldn’t stay in the shower and think about what could have been. She had lectures to get ready for.
**********************
The guest speakers were every bit as boring as Kagome imagined they would be. Even though they were all about history, they focused on obscure topics or topics that she held no interest in. Despite this, she smiled and socialized like a good guest, making light conversation with other guests and some of the speakers themselves. When speaking with the lecturers, Kagome tried to keep the conversation on areas she was awake for.
Kagome was in the middle of speaking with a professor whose name escaped her when something caught her attention out of the corner of her eye. Turning her head, she was shocked to find a familiar face moving through the crowd. Her head quickly snapped back as his gaze swept over in her direction. No, that’s not him. It can’t be. It’s impossible. Cautiously, she turned her head to get another look. Sure enough, there on the other side of the room was Inuyasha, currently talking with two professors. A flood of emotions washed through her. She had no idea what to make of everything. Rage, joy, desire, hatred, love and more rolled together within her. It took her a second to realize that she was ignoring the man she had been talking to. He was still rambling on, oblivious to her lack of attention.
“Excuse me a moment,” she said, stopping him midsentence. She quickly moved away before he could respond. All she cared about now was escaping before he saw her. She weaved through the crowd as quickly as she could without her rush being evident. She glanced over to where she had last seen him, only to realize he was gone. Panic rushed through her as she scanned the area. Most of the people were taller than her, making it difficult to see in the distance.
Forget finding him, just get to the door! Her attention elsewhere, she took two steps before running into someone. Looking up, she felt the color drain from her face. Standing right in front of her was none other than a surprised Inuyasha.
**********************
Inuyasha almost didn’t give the woman a second look. There had been a lot of women who had been ‘carelessly’ bumping into him lately. Bedding any of them would have been simple. Their intentions were obvious enough. Still, he politely brushed them off. He just wasn’t interested, not anymore.
It took him awhile to realize how much he had changed after Kagome left. At first, he expected her to call him, or show up at his apartment. They would talk about things, make-up, and go back to what they enjoyed. It took three weeks for him to understand that she had meant what she said: that their relationship was over.
He tried returning to how he lived before Kagome. He returned to his long-neglected harem – the women almost throwing themselves at him, overjoyed at his return. The sex was glorious and abundant, but hollow. There was suddenly no point. He had no one to share his exploits with, no one to share tales of debauchery with. The sight of his loved one with another man was gone. The sounds of her cries of passion as another man brought her to orgasm were silent. Kagome was gone from his life, and no other woman would ever replace her.
Two halves of himself were in a state of war. On one side, he regretted everything. His words were insensitive and selfish. He was the one who pushed Kagome to become what she was. For months, she had been the woman he wanted her to be, and when she finally decided that wasn’t the woman she wanted to be, he had lashed out at her. The other side regretted nothing. Kagome ultimately may not have wanted to be the type of woman who enjoyed the embrace of multiple men, but she certainly played the part well. The months they had been together had been the best of his life – the sex unbeatable. Her greatness and willingness to please him had culminated in that one glorious night when both her and her sister joined him in bed. That night forever haunted him as the apex of his sex life and the act that brought it all to ruin.
Part of him felt that it was worth it, losing Kagome for the experience. For a long time, that part felt much larger than it was. As time passed, he realized how large a hole Kagome had left. The knowledge that nothing he did would ever fill it was sobering. After recognizing this, change came quickly. He no longer desired women as he used to. He would still occasionally sleep with a woman who caught his attention, or served to farther a goal, but they were few and far between.
The only woman he visited on a regular basis was Sango. She and Miroku were the only two people he could consider friends. At the beginning, he would always ask about Kagome as they both lay, spent from vigorous lovemaking. He wasn’t sure if he stopped asking, or if Sango quit telling him. Things had changed between the three as Inuyasha changed himself. For the first year after the breakup, Inuyasha had spent many nights enjoying Sango alongside Miroku. Things slowly changed so that he was spending more nights alone with just Sango. Finally, things settled so that they were no longer sleeping together, the three enjoying each other’s company as friends rather than feeling compelled to do anything else.
It had been like that for months and Inuyasha finally understood that what he desired now was a relationship like the one he had with Kagome; the real one, hidden under the muck of their mistakes and his stupidity. He knew that Kagome had been his one shot, and that he had blown it. Knowing that he would never have another chance, never find another like her was almost too much.
He knew running into her here, at a conference in the middle of nowhere, was a sign that something larger connected them. It was true that he almost didn’t recognize her at first glance. Her hair was shorter and she seemed thinner than he remembered. Most of all, there was a mature air about her. How she carried herself, held her head, it was all subtlety different than the woman he remembered.
“Kagome?” he said slowly, not quite believing his eyes. She didn’t meet his gaze. It almost appeared she was disappointed at having been seen.
Finally, after a few seconds, she met his gaze. He never really appreciated those brown eyes more than he did at this very moment. “Inuyasha,” she said coldly. She had every right to be angry with him, and he figured she would be. But that even knowing that did little to blunt the sting of her tone. Despite everything, he had hoped... After all, three years was a long time.
“H-how have you been?” he asked, a million things coming to mind all at once.
She shrugged. “Okay I guess.”
She’s not going to make this easy… is she? “That’s… good to hear.” There was an awkward silence as the two stood there, him not knowing what to say and her having no desire to say anything.
Seeing that he wasn’t going to say anything else, she gave him a curt nod. “Goodbye then,” she said as she sidestepped him.
“Wait, Kagome,” he started. Not thinking, he reached out to grab her arm. Her glare caused him to pull his hands back as if she had scorched him. “S-sorry,” he said quickly. “A-about everything,” he added. “I messed up.”
“Yeah, you did.”
His words seemed to want to hang up in his throat. “Please, can we talk?”
Her eyes were unsympathetic. “I don’t think we have anything to talk about.”
“Please Kagome, just a few minutes.” There was a long silence, and for a while, he fully expected her to say no.
After an antagonizing silence, her expression softened somewhat. “A few minutes.”
They walked to the hotel bar. At this time of the day, they were alone minus the bored looking bartender. After taking their orders, he left, leaving the two in uncomfortable silence. Inuyasha realized that he had asked her to talk, only he suddenly had nothing to talk about. Just looking at her made everything go blank.
“I know nothing I say will ever make up for what I did,” he started, finding his voice. “And no amount of apologizing will ever express how much I am sorry – nor will it ever be enough.” Kagome remained silent, not meeting his eye. The bartender returned, setting their drinks in front of them before disappearing once more. With the heavy atmosphere between them, it was no wonder he made such a quick escape.
Kagome’s voice surprised him. “Do you ever wonder what would have happened if you hadn’t left?”
“Every day,” he said, staring down at his beer. “Every time I wake up alone, I regret it.”
She grunted softly. “So what, once or twice a year?”
“It’s a lot more often than you would think,” he said, his tone slightly heated. “I’ve changed a lot since then.” He looked up to find her staring at him. “What?”
“You look just like I remember you.” It could have been his wishful thinking, but it almost sounded like she was happy.
“You’ve… changed a bit,” he said with a grin. Her hand automatically moved to her hair. “I like it.” Her smile made his chest swell. It was like seeing a light after a very long darkness. She must have remembered who she was with because it quickly disappeared, her hand returning to her lap as she turned her head away. Inuyasha felt his hopes die a little. He knew it would be impossible for anything to come from this meeting. Too many mistakes, mostly his, had occurred for there to ever be a connection between them again. After they left the bar, chances were he would never see her again. As much as that hurt to accept, he still needed to bear with the pain and try, will everything he had, to at least let this parting be civil. To put a tolerable mark on the ending to their relationship.
There was a long silence. He struggled to think of what to say, something, anything that wouldn’t have her immediately pull back. Despite all his thinking, it was her who broke the silence first. She let out a small laugh, slowly shaking her head. “Out of all the terrible things we did, we could never be satisfied. Why did we always push for more? Why couldn’t we just be happy with what we had? If it hadn’t been for that one night…”
Inuyasha felt his throat tighten. This was affirmation on just how much that night had affected her. Even after three years, she still thinks about it. “I’m sorry.” It was pathetic. All he could say was that he was sorry, and no matter how many times he said it, it wouldn’t make things any better.
She looked at him, her eyes moist with tears that refused to fall. “I miss it Inuyasha. Everything. Sango and Miroku. The sex. You… I think about it more than I should. I enjoyed it more than I should have too. It hurts knowing it’s all gone.”
“I should have been more supportive. I knew a part of you enjoyed it, but I should have seen how much stopping meant to you. Instead, I was a selfish, immature ass who wanted everything my way. I was afraid of stopping; afraid that by making such a large change to our relationship, it would destroy it.” He shook his head, giving a dry chuckle as he stared down at his untouched beer. “What a fool I was. I should have seen how much damage that night did to you. I should have seen how much our relationship had already changed.”
“Do you know what the worst part of that night was?” Inuyasha looked up to find Kagome’s head tipped back slightly, her eyes staring off into the distance. “That I enjoyed it.”
“What?”
She gave him a humorless smile, her eyes meeting his. “Sick isn’t it? I loved it. Each and every second.”
“But I thought—”
“That it disgusted me? That it damaged me?” Inuyasha nodded, stunned by her revelation. She let out a huff of air before downing a sizable amount of her beer. “I wish. It would be easier to live with myself.”
“Then why? Why—”
“Did I want to stop?” Once more, he found himself nodding. “Because I was terrified of what I was becoming, of what I had already become. Thinking back on it now horrifies me. You said you’ve thought a lot about what would have happened if we stayed together. Tell me, what did you think life would be like?”
“I—well…” He took a deep breath, collecting his thoughts. Yes he had thought a lot about it, an obscene amount of time on it actually. Yet now that he was on the spot, none of it seemed to come forth. “Well, for one, we would be married.” She stared at him, her complete attention on him as he continued. “We’d probably spend a lot of time with Miroku and Sango, both in bed and out. Chances are we’d have several steady lovers on the side and lots of random one night stands. Maybe an orgy or two.” He couldn’t help but smile at old, pleasant memories that surfaced as he shared one of his many imaginings of a life lost. “And maybe a few surprise gangbangs for my lovely wife on special occasions.”
To his surprise, she actually smiled. “I see you haven’t changed that much.”
“Hey, this is if we never broke up, remember? Nothing like how it would be now.”
She took another sip of beer. “So, any kids in this little fantasy of yours?”
It was odd, how normal this felt. “A few.” He grinned. “I don’t know if they’re mine or not. I have a suspicion that my wife might be seeing other people.”
She laughed. It was a wonderful sound. “It sounds wonderful,” she said, her laugh fading into a more sobering tone. “Much better than mine.”
“What do you mean?”
She stared down at her beer, the smile replaced by a somber expression. “I think mine is a lot like yours in ways. We’d be with other people, that’s for sure. The night with Kikyo wouldn’t be the last, not by a long shot.”
Inuyasha was shocked by what he was hearing. “Really?”
Kagome nodded sadly. “I told you I liked it, remember? It’s why I was so afraid. Why I’m still afraid. With how I was back then, what if we had kids? What if…” She took a shaken breath. “What if I did things with them too?”
“No! That would never happen!”
“And how do you know? Inuyasha, you knew what I was like.”
“Yeah, but… No, you aren’t that type of person.”
“I slept with my sister.”
“That’s… different.” She frowned at him. “She’s an adult.”
Kagome laughed. “Funny thing about kids is that they have the annoying tendency to become adults.”
“Still, you never would have done something like that.”
She sighed. “Maybe you’re right. But I still don’t like that person I was.”
“What about now?”
Kagome looked down at her hand. For the first time, Inuyasha noticed the engagement ring on her finger. “I think I can tolerate me now.”
Something clung at Inuyasha’s throat. He knew she would move on with life. That was expected. Three years was a long time. Still, seeing that she had already found someone else… it was hard. “Who’s the lucky man?”
“Huh?” She followed his gaze to her ring. She covered it with her other hand, as if she was embarrassed. “He’s someone I knew from childhood. My mom set it all up.”
“An arranged marriage?”
“Something like that.”
“That doesn’t sound like you.”
“No, but it needed to be done. It’s something stable.”
“Does he know?”
“Getting a little personal, aren’t we?”
“Sorry,” he said, looking down.
“I’m kidding. Yes he knows. Everything.”
“Wow, and he still agreed to marry you?”
She punched him on the arm. It wasn’t hard, or at least, he didn’t think it was. “He’s a complete gentlemen, sensitive and loving. Unlike someone I knew.”
“Sounds boring. I bet he’s lame in bed.”
She was silent for a long time. “I wouldn’t know,” she said before finishing her beer.
“What? Seriously? You haven’t slept with him?”
“I think that is none of your business!”
“You poor thing…”
Laughing, Kagome waved the bartender down to order another drink. For the first time since they started talking, Inuyasha took a drink of his own.
**********************
Kagome was surprised at how things had ended up. She thought she would be furious at Inuyasha. She certainly had been when they first started talking. Yet the longer they talked, the more she opened up. Within an hour, they were laughing and having a good time, like nothing had ever happened. Everything just seemed… natural. It was why she was sad when it was time for them to part ways. She wished they had more time. She wished for a lot of things. Sadly, life did its best to make sure wishes never came true.
He escorted her to her hotel room. Kagome didn’t mind. It just meant they had a few extra minutes together. Them running into each other here was a cosmic joke, a way of reminding them what they lost before sending them off on paths that would never again intersect.
“Well… this is me,” she said, stopping in front of her door.
He nodded, taking a deep breath. “I don’t know about you, but I’m glad we met again. How we left things… I’m glad we got a second chance to say goodbye on a happier note.”
She smiled. “I am too.” Looking up at him, staring into his eyes… She felt the familiar rush go through her, pulling her towards him. She wanted him, she wanted everything that she had lost. Her heart raced as he leaned down. She closed her eyes, waiting for his lips against hers…
He lips pressed against her forehead. Disappointed, she opened her eyes as he pulled away, smiling. “Goodbye Kagome.”
“That’s it?” she found herself saying as he turned around to leave. Her face turned beet red when she realized she said her thought aloud.
He turned around slowly, a puzzled look on his face. “I’m sorry?”
“I… uh… Nothing,” she stuttered, quickly sliding her key into the door. It beeped as the electronic lock clicked open. She was halfway inside when she stopped. Looking back, she saw him with the same confused expression on his face. This will be the last time I ever see him… She could hear her heart pounding in her ears, her eyes resting on the ring on her finger…
**********************
Three years had been a long time. Kagome had almost forgotten how vastly superior the real thing was to masturbation. She knew sleeping with Inuyasha was stupid. He had been a key factor in destroying her life. Now, she was doing her best to destroy what she had rebuilt. But the guilt and regret would have to come later. Right now, she was focused on just one thing – remembering how wonderful it was riding Inuyasha.
It was a passion filled day. They would collapse, soaked in sweat and gasping for air, take a break to recover, then she would quickly mount him again for another go. What she had expected to be a one-time thing quickly turned into an all-day event. They did it in multiple positions, at all sorts of paces. When they were too tired to move, they just kissed. It was like they were trying to fit three years of sex into a day.
Only it wasn’t just a day. With the wonders of room service, the two never left Kagome’s hotel room. The bed, the couch, floor, shower, everything was fair game. Their reasons for being here were completely forgotten. They lost themselves in the embrace of each other. But the dream had to end, and the day of Kagome’s flight was upon them. After one last passion-filled shower, Kagome was busy packing while Inuyasha dressed in the clothes he had worn when she invited him inside days ago.
“So… uh… What does this mean?”
“What do you mean?” she asked, putting her luggage near the door. God I’m sore. She mentally smiled. Sore but happy.
“What happened here between us.”
She sighed. “Inuyasha, I’m getting married.” She was surprised at how matter-of-fact she sounded. It was also the first time she thought of Hojo this entire time. There was also the complete lack of regret or guilt that normally would be associated with infidelity of this sort.
“Wait, you’re still getting married?”
“What? Wait, you thought that just because I had sex with you, I would break it off?”
“Uh…”
It was the first time she felt bad for what she had done. Not because what she had done to Hojo, but what she had done to Inuyasha. “I… It’s been a long time for me.”
“So that’s all this was? A quick fuck to tide you over until the wedding?”
“I would rather think of it as a loving goodbye between old friends.” He was about to say something when she interrupted him. “Before you say anything else, I want you to listen to me. Please Inuyasha, this has been perfect. I will always cherish what happened here between us. Don’t ruin our last memories together. Please.”
He opened his mouth, paused, then closed it. It was heartbreaking to see his sorrowful expression. “Goodbye Kagome. I love you. I always will.”
It took everything she could to hold back her tears. “I love you too.” It was more than a canned response, automatically replayed when needed. She really felt it with everything she was. With that, she took her luggage and left.
**********************
Kagome is gone. She had been for a few minutes. It still didn’t seem real. Meeting her after all this time… talking to her… making love… He stared at the door for a long time. It reminded him of another door, closed forever ago. It was that door that took Kagome away from him, his own stupidity preventing him from opening it. He felt his hands clench together, nails digging in the skin of his palms.
“Not this time.”
Leaping to his feet, he rushed to the door. She left a few minutes ago. There’s still time to catch her. If I hurry…
Flinging open the door, he prepared to sprint down the hall, only to stop short. Standing in front of him was Kagome, still holding her bags.
She smiled up at him, tears in her eyes. “I was about to leave…”
Fighting back tears, he wrapped her in a hug, clutching her to him. “I won’t let you. Not this time. Not ever again.”
**********************
Sorry for the long wait! I hope the ending wasn’t TOO sappy. >.<’
Anyways, I will write a quick epilogue to finish this story up, because I love epilogues! I feel like it’s the cherry on top of a dessert.
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