InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ The Summer of My Demon Lover ❯ Nobody's Home ( Chapter 6 )

When I got home no one was there. Kaede had probably taken Souta to a friends house while she went out shopping. I looked around the house, the one my mother loved more than any other. It did not look the same as it use to, all of her things had been sold and replaced.

"I hate this ugly thing." I said as I looked down at the couch my step-mother never let me sit on when I was a child.

Hell, she barely let me sit on it now. Not that I ever wanted to, it was the ugliest, most uncomfortable piece of crap I had ever had the displeasure of seeing. She loved it, and the rest of us hated it, but we would never say anything. My father never liked it when I talked ill of his wife, he always said that it was my fault that she was my new mother.

I sighed as I walked in to the kitchen, I stopped and grabbed a cookie from the table before I made my way to my room. It was the smallest room in the house, and was not originally mine. It was Souta's room, but my father thought that he needed the bigger one to fit all of his toys into. My room didn't have much in it, just a bed, a dresser, and a bookshelf. My father wasn't too big on buying me anything unless he really had too.

"Bed," I muttered to myself as I threw myself on it.

I laid there for a few minutes, not sure how many, I just felt so tired. Lately I haven't had much strength, not like I use too.

"Mama...what I wouldn't give for some soup and a story right now," I murmured.

And to see your face, smell your hair, feel your arms around me.

"Mama...do you blame me too?"

Do you blame me for being a spoiled brat, for having to have my way? For being me?

"I blame me," I said finally.

And I blame you.

"I blame the world for taking you, and for letting me come into it,"

I couldn't tell you why she felt that way,
She felt it everyday.
And I couldn't help her,
I just watched her make the same mistakes again.

I thought about my mother everyday, I couldn't help it. Everything I did or said turned into her dying and leaving me alone with my father. Deep down inside I know that it wasn't really my fault, but that part had long ago been covered up by all of my scars and bruises, and not to mention my fathers words.

I always wondered why I ever listened to them, took them seriously and let them hurt me so badly. I realized the answer years ago though, it is because he is my father. He is my father and no matter what he does, his opinion will always matter to me. Even if I don't want it too, it will simply for the fact that it had for so many years before he stopped loving me.

"I'm pathetic," I spat.

What's wrong, what's wrong now?
Too many, too many problems.
Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs.

I stared up at my ceiling. There was nothing special about it, but it did stop me from thinking for a whole minute. Thinking became something I loathed.

"To think is to feel, to feel is to cry, to cry is to stop living my lie," I said.

I lied to myself, everyday I would tell myself that this was a dream. A bad dream, but a dream no less. But once I started crying, the dream became real, my life became the horrible dream I tried to hide from for so long. I miss how life use to be, my mom baking in the kitchen while my little brother 'helped', and my dad reading me stories while we sat in our favorite chair.

She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.

**********

Flashback

"Daddy, will you read me a story?" a little girl with long black hair asked as she held a small book out to a man sitting in a big green chair.

The man smiled down at the little girl and then gave her a nod. She squealed in delight and hugged her fathers leg.

"Of course. Anything for my little princess," he said as he lifted her into his lap and opened the book she had.

He read to her for over an hour, the girl smiling up at her father with a look of pure bliss shining in her eyes. He looked back down at her with the same look as he kissed the tip of her nose. She fell asleep like that, cuddled in her fathers warm arms like nothing in the world could ever hard her.

End Flashback

**********

Open your eyes and look outside, find the reasons why.
You've been rejected, and now you can't find what you left behind.

Before I knew what was going on, a tear rolled down my cheek, followed by another. I tried to hold them back, but it was no use. My lie was lost another day.

"I miss you daddy, please come back soon," I whispered to my empty room as more tears fell from my eyes

At one point in my life, my father was the one I told everything to, as well as my mother. We were so close, and he loved me with every fiber of his being, you could just tell by the way he looked at me. At one point in time my father was proud to have me as his daughter.

Be strong, be strong now.
Too many, too many problems.
Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs.

I cried even more, though I wanted desperately to stop. These memories were like a wave of pain, just waiting to drown me in even more sorrow. I laid still for a while, my face now buried in my pillow, but then I heard something. I lifted my head from it's hiding place and looked towards my wondow.

"What are you doing here?" I asked the figured that stood by my window, eating my cookie that I didn't realize wasn't in my hand anymore.

"You didn't come to play, so I came to see you!" the little ball of fluff know as Shippou squealed as he launched himself at me, my cookie still in his mouth.

"Shippou-chan, you know that you shouldn't be here." I scolded him, but I wasn't really mad, just worried.

"But I made a real good disguise, and I was really careful." he said, giving me his puppy eyes. I could never resist them...never.

"Okay, but next time just wait for me. We might as well get you some food, I'm sure you ate all that I left you the other day," I said as I got out of bed, wiping my eyes on my sleeve when Shippou wasn't looking.

She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.

"Hai! It was all really goodm" he said with the cutest smile on his face as he rubbed his stomach through his shirt.

"I'm glad you liked it Shippou-chan." I couldn't help the giggle that escaped from throat as I walked back into the kitchen with the tiny youkai.

"Kagome-chan, do you think my papa will be back soon?" he asked after a minute, and I didn't know how to answer.

"I hope so Shippou-chan, I know how much you miss him," that was all I could say to even try and comfort him. He gave a sad nod, he had been left alone since his father was taken into the camps. His mother died giving birth to him, so now all he had was me. I felt a kinship to him, since we both lost our parents, to death and other tragic situations.

"How about another cookie?"

"Hai!" he squealed again as he ran for the plate. He grabbed his cookie and took a big bite out of it, but before he could finish it someone opened the front door.

"Kagome, you better be here," the voice of my father came from the living room. Shippou panicked, and did the only thing he could. He turned into duster and jumped into my hands, as did his cookie. My father came in a minute later, glaring at me.

"Good, you're here," he spat out at me. How one could hold that much hate for another was something I would never begin to realize, and I didn't want to even try.

"What's in your hand?" he asked, glaring down at my palms

I looked down and saw the cookie, and knew what was about to come.

Her feelings she hides.
Her dreams she can't find.
She's losing her mind.
She's fallen behind.

"I-I got hungry, I was only going to eat half," I tried to reason with him, but I knew it wouldn't work.

"Stealing food now. How selfish can you be, I feed you three god damn times a day, and now you're sitting down here scarfing down cookies and who knows what else!" he screamed in my face. I closed my eyes, trying to not cry.

"Look at me you little bitch!" he screamed even louder, but this time a slapped came with it.

I fell to the floor, Shippou was knocked out of my hands, and I could see him shaking under the table.

"I'm sorry!" I cried, but all I got in response was a kick in my back

I stayed on the floor, hoping that he was done with his assault, but I found that he wasn't when something shattered and blood spilled from my face. He broke a plate over my head, he hadn't done that in a long time, I almost for got how much it hurt.

She can't find her place.
She's losing her faith.
She's fallen from grace.
She's all over the place.
Yeah, oh

I sniffed back the tears as he kicked me one last time.

"Clean this place up. I want it done before I get home." and with that said, I was left on the floor, bleeding, and wanting to die.

"Kagome-chan?" Shippou's voice broke me out of my thoughts of death. He stood infront of me, shaking he would never be able to stop. He looked at me with his sad eyes, and I couldn't help the smile that came to my face.

She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.

I didn't need death, all I needed were the few people that loved me.

"It's okay Shippou-chan. Everything will be fine," I said as I hugged him close to me.

She's lost inside, lost inside...oh oh yeah
She's lost inside, lost inside...oh oh yeah