InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Things Never Meant to Be ❯ Chapter 4 ( Chapter 4 )

Things Never Meant to Be

Chapter 4

One month later . . .

"Rin," Kagome ran up to her in the village. "Rin? I knew it was you."

She forced a smile.

InuYasha and Kisho were with her. "What're you doing here?" she asked.

Rin shrugged. "Just stretching my legs."

"Keh, I'm surprised the all-mighty Sesshomaru let you out."

She lowered her eyes. "Well . . . I'm not exactly his concern any more."

"What?" Kagome asked.

"I . . . live on my own, now," she said.

Her jaw dropped. "What are you talking about? He just kicked you out?"

She laughed to herself. "It was nothing so drastic as that. We both agreed my needs couldn't be met in the confines of the castle, so . . . he let me go."

"Let you go?" she said. "Let you go where? Where are you staying?"

"In a cave," she said. She stooped down and said hello to Kisho. He looked so much like Sesshomaru it hurt to look at him.

Kagome looked at InuYasha in apparent disgust. "In a cave?"

InuYasha shrugged.

"There're worse places to live," Rin said, standing again.

"But it's nearly winter," Kagome said. "You'll freeze."

She laughed to herself. "I know how to light a fire. And I've already gathered plenty of wood."

"Nonsense!" she said. "You'll spend the winter with us."

She felt as shocked as InuYasha looked. "I-I can't do that. I don't wanna impose."

"Don't be silly," she linked her arm around Rin's. "You're practically family." She led her back to their hut and sat her down on their stoop. "Now, you just tell InuYasha where to find your things and we'll get you settled in."

InuYasha crossed his arms.

"I really don't wanna be in the way," Rin said.

"You're just being silly," she insisted. "How could you possibly be in anybody's way?"

She didn't feel like answering.

"Now, tell InuYasha where you've been staying, and he'll get all your stuff, and you can stay here."

"Well," she said, "I really don't have any stuff any more."

"He kicked you out with nothing?" Kagome was aghast.

"No, no," she said. "I took stuff with me. But I sold most of it, and I carry the rest of it with me." She pulled out a pipe from her makeshift silk back pack. The sheet and the pipe were the two things she couldn't bare to part with.

"You play?" she asked.

"A little," she said. "Lord Sesshomaru thought it would be good if I had a hobby. I used to play for him at night." She closed her eyes and laughed softly to herself. "I think he did it so he didn't have to listen to me talk. You can't talk and play at the same time, you know."

She gave her an understanding smile.

"So, I really don't wanna be any trouble."

"You won't be any trouble," she insisted. "I couldn't sleep at night knowing you were out there all alone."

She forced another smile. "Thank you."

* * *

That night after dinner . . .

"That was delicious, Kagome," Rin said. "I can't remember the last time I ate so much."

"You do look a little thin," she said.

"And when was the last time you had a bath?" InuYasha asked.

"InuYasha!" Kagome scolded.

Rin felt her face go red. She didn't like the idea of bathing alone in the forest. Who knew who could be watching?

"Don't listen to him, Rin. It's just that canine nose of his."

"I know," she nodded.

"Oh! I said something wrong, didn't I?"

She shook her head. "No, no. I'm fine. I'm used to being on my own again, now."

InuYasha and Kagome exchanged looks.

"Well," she pushed herself to her feet, "if you don't mind, I'm gonna turn in for the night. It's been a rather eventful day."

Kagome nodded. "We rolled out a futon for you right behind the screen."

"Thank you," she yawned and disappeared behind the screen.

A few hours later, she heard them talking together in the dark.

"Stop it, InuYasha," Kagome said.

"What! Why?"

"She'll hear us," she said.

"Hear what? She's asleep."

"It wouldn't be right," she said more insistently.

"Come on, Kagome . . ." He spoke softly to her, sweetly to her.

"InuYasha . . ." she sounded less resistant now, more pleasant.

"Come on," he said again. "Show your husband some love. I know you want to."

"Do you, now?" she asked teasingly.

Rin could feel the heat rising in her cheeks. She couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"I can't believe that brother of yours," Kagome said. "Putting that poor girl out like that."

InuYasha scoffed. "What'd you expect him to do?" he asked. "Marry her?"

There was a pregnant pause in conversation, punctuated by what she assumed to be kissing and sucking.

"Well . . . maybe," she finally said.

"Keh, he hates humans. Always has, always will."

She heard the sound of shifting fabric--maybe sheets, maybe clothing.

"Not like you, huh?" Kagome laughed.

"Not at all like me," he said breathily.

Rin squeezed her eyes shut. Why did she have to be here to hear this?

"Still, I feel bad for her," Kagome continued.

"She seems all right to me," he said.

"Like you're such an expert on women?" she asked. "She's obviously heartbroken."

Hot tears spilled down her cheeks. Why did she have to be here to hear this?

"Well, what can you do?" he asked.

Someone moaned accompanied by the sound of shifting fabric.

She turned her head to face away from the screen. Kisho was sleeping peacefully against the rear wall. The sight of him, coupled with the sound of his parents love-making was too much for her to take. She pulled the covers over her head and wept silently into her silk sheet. Why wouldn't the morning come?

"Rin?"

She sat up and wiped the sleep from her eyes.

"It's morning, dear. Do you want some breakfast?" Kagome asked.

She shook her head. "I'm not very hungry," she said. "Thanks, though."

"Didn't you sleep well?" she asked.

She shrugged. "I never sleep well in strange places. I miss my bed, I guess."

She smiled a sad smile. "Well, why don't you get up, and we'll hit the hot spring together? I bet a bath will make you feel better."

"I guess," she said. "Where's Kisho?"

"Out with InuYasha. They have a whole `morning routine' worked out together. InuYasha's teaching him to be a swordsman."

She kept her eyes to the ground. "I guess that's a practical trade to learn in this day and age."

"So, come on," she grabbed her arm and pulled her to her feet. "We'll take a dip in the spring, and you can put on some of my clothes."

"Thank you," she said weakly.

The water in the spring was hot. It stung her skin, nearly bringing tears to her eyes.

"Are you all right, Rin?"

She nodded as she sat back into the spring. "The water's just a little hot. I'm so used to the bath house . . ." she let her thought trail off.

"So," Kagome began, "how long ago since . . . I mean, how long have you been on your own?"

She shrugged again. "About a month, I guess. I try not to keep track of the time."

"Oh," she said.

"I thought about leaving here for the longest time," she said. "You know, leaving the Western lands . . . But, I've never been anywhere else. And, strange girl in strange land-I just didn't wanna tempt fate. I've been rather sheltered for awhile. I forgot how many bad people there actually are in the world."

"Nothing's happened to you, has it?"

She shook her head. "No," she said. "No one's tried anything. But, you know, expect the worst, hope for the best. That's what they say, isn't it?"

Kagome nodded. "So, how are you getting along?" she asked. "Really."

She bit back tears. "I'm okay."

"Rin . . ." she moved closer to her.

"I'm okay!" she screamed. "God, will you people just leave me alone? Everyone thinks I'm so fucking helpless!"

"I don't think--"

"Shut up! You don't have a clue about me. You don't know what I'm thinking. You don't know what I'm feeling. You don't know how SICK everything makes me . . . I live in a cave because people make me sick."

"Rin . . ."

"They're always STARING at me. They stop and they stare and they whisper. And they all KNOW about me. They know I don't belong. They know I'm different. They're scared of me," she said. "I can see it in their eyes. They all know I stayed with him, and they can't make sense of it. Is she a human? Is she a demon? Maybe she's a half-breed. I hear them every day!"

"Oh, Rin . . ."

"Don't touch me!" she swatted at the proffered hand. "I'm disgusting. What happened to that cute little girl? What happened to the old me? What happened to my body? What happened to my heart? What happened to my soul?" She wiped the tears from her face. "Everything used to be so simple. I knew who I was. I knew where I belonged. I knew what I was. I was his little girl. I was his precious little girl, and now I'm . . . I'm . . ."

"You're a woman," Kagome said. "You're a woman in love with a man."

She scoffed. "Don't say such silly things."

"It hurts, doesn't it?" she asked. "Being away from him. Not knowing if he's all right. Not knowing if he misses you, if he thinks about you at all."

"He doesn't need anybody," she said. "Least of all me."

"It feels that way sometimes. Like your presence in his life doesn't matter one way or another. Like he'd do just as well, or maybe even better without you," she said. "But those are just thoughts, not truths."

She waved her away.

"I used to think the same things," she said. "I thought I was always in the way, and I couldn't be of any help. I thought I was such a screw up, such a nuisance."

"And you're not?" she asked.

Kagome laughed. "You're a lot like him," she said. "Proud and fierce and determined to have your own way . . . Those are good qualities. Signs of a strong character."

She laughed to herself. "You're comparing me to your husband?"

"Actually, I was talking about Sesshomaru. Though, he and InuYasha do share some similar characteristics."

Rin thought back to last night when she'd heard them making love. InuYasha had said he was nothing like him.

"Just don't lose hope," she said. "Things always have a way of working themselves out."

"They've already worked themselves out," she said. "It used to be that if I was gone for more than an hour he'd come out looking for me. I mean, he'd never admit it, of course. He'd just `accidentally' stumble across me, then tell me it was getting late, and it was time to go home." The tears were back again. "Well, it's been a month, now. Much longer than an hour and thirty times longer than a day. He . . . he just doesn't care about me any more. I'm just another worthless human, now." She covered her face with her hands.

"Rin?"

"God, I wish I were dead . . ."

"You shouldn't say things like that."

She jumped out of the water and grabbed her clothes. "I can't stay here any more. I've gotta . . . I've gotta get outta here before I do something drastic."

"Rin!"

She ran back to the hut and gathered her things.

Kagome arrived too late. "InuYasha?"

He sat on the front stoop playing with Kisho. "She's gone," he said. "Grabbed her stuff and ran outta town."

She put her hands on her hips. "And you didn't stop her?"

"Was I supposed to?" His ears perked up.

"What is it?" Kagome asked.

He sniffed the air and glanced around. "Sesshomaru."