InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ To Know, To Will, To Dare or Keep Silent? ❯ To Know ( Chapter 1 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

He knows that a child's hero-worship isn't a woman's romantic love. She knows that he will never love her 'like that'. Can traveling together again change what they 'know? Sess/teen!Rin, post-canon. Bonus if you 'get' the title. RATING NOW 'M'

Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance | Type: Fanfiction Sequel | Uploaded On: 08.26.2010 | Pages: 2 | Words: 2.2K | Visits: 505 | Status: Work In Progress

Disclaimer: I don't own Sess and Rin

A/N: This was originally a flashback part to the next chapter in Bound For Tomorrow, but I re-read that chapter at the last minute before publishing and just wasn't happy with it, but I didn't want to waste this little scene. Considering how it ends, this might end up being a short 2-3chapter fic.

He watched from the tree line as she sat drawing.

Her hands were dark with charcoal and the paper she used was not in a scroll but as brilliantly white as his own kimono. He knew this paper to be a gift from the miko, though where exactly it was she acquired such things was not part of his knowledge.

He knew she liked to draw flowers, and animals, and the people of the village, the children especially. The girl had talent, and it had surprised him to see her drawings, as it let him know exactly how poor human sight was. When he saw her drawings though, he could appreciate a flower's 'beauty' in a different way, when it was softened, muddled and the edges not so sharp.

He could see through Rin's eyes when she drew.

This time however, Rin did not look up from her drawing to study anything in particular in the surrounding landscape, and a faint blush had spread it's self permanently across her cheeks as she sighed occasionally.

He moved from the tree line then, intent on visiting as usual, and seeing Rin's latest masterpiece.

"Rin."

A startled Rin looked up and quickly covered her paper. Unusual… most of the time she could not wait to show him her drawings.

The few other drawings she had with her were not covered before he could see them though and he saw one of the monk and his slayer locked in a passionate embrace, another similar one of his brother and his miko, kissing deeply, and then there was the one Rin was holding. He reached for it, and Rin blushed, but did not protest when he brought it up to his face for inspection.

It was him. A side view of him, leaning far down and kissing a dark haired woman whose face was obscured by the angle of the kiss, although her hair was pinned up so that he could see the stripes that adorned her cheeks and the pointed ears she sported. Her kimono was one he had never seen before either, very simple in pattern, although there were sakura blossoms patterned over it, and crescent moons in the same pattern as on his shoulder on hers. A demoness, obviously, but one who was much smaller in build than he. He had never seen a demoness who looked like the one in Rin's drawing and wondered who it could be?

"Who is she?" he asked casually.

Rin blushed again… she would not tell him that it was her, as she envisioned herself if she were fit to be with her lord. If she were not so utterly, unchangeably human.

"She does not exist my lord, Rin has been drawing all of the couples she knows and you are unmated, so Rin imagined what a female you might mate with might look like… Rin does not know if all Inuyoukai have the same coloring as you do, however, for the purpose of the picture, the contrast of her darker features for your lighter ones were more pleasing to the eye. Is Sesshomaru-sama angry?"

"No." He was not angry, merely… unsettled. The picture in hand was a pleasant one, although… something about it seemed to feel…wrong.

It should be her in this drawing.

He caught himself before he could let his troubling thoughts, his loneliness, and his longing for her, be reflected in his eyes. She could always read him so well…

She is human… She is my… responsibility.

She will never see me as anything more than the stoic and cold youkai who abandoned her to strangers, and whose feeble attempts to assuage his guilt include gifting her with the occasion article of clothing.

She deserves more than me… She deserves a man who is able to express feelings of love as openly as she… not the icy touch and distant silence of a man rendered mute by pride.

As much as she adores me… She will never see me as a woman sees a man.

Hero-worship is not romantic love.

"It is acceptable. Inuyoukai come in many varieties, this pattern of coloring and markings is within the realm of possibility."

"Would Sesshomaru-sama like to keep it? Rin is finished with it now."

He nodded and took a clean sheet of paper placed it over the drawing and tucked it away in his kimono sleeve.

"And who does Rin draw herself with?" he asked. He had been wondering for some time now when he would get the news that Rin was to be married off to some human boy… some wretched, lowly, weak human boy who was in no way worthy of her. He could not help the sharpness to his tone when he'd asked the question, and was inexplicably pleased when Rin looked up surprised at his question.

Rin shook her head, "Rin will not be married, Sesshomaru-sama."

Puzzlement painted itself across his features for less than a second, before he asked, "Why is that?"

Because no human can compare to you. Because I've dreamed of being yours since I was a child, and the thought of any other man touching me makes me ill. Because my heart will always and only belong to you. Because I'm in love with you, even if you'll never feel the same way…

"Because human men are cowards, my Lord." Rin laughed when he smirked slightly at her response, "As soon as Rin tells them that they must seek the permission of a demon lord for her hand, they no longer wish to pursue me… not that Rin would wish for such a thing anyway…" Rin stopped herself before she could say too much.

"I see." There was an odd satisfaction in her words, even if it was a selfish thing to wish her to be alone. The thought of anyone else touching her…

For the briefest of moments Sesshomaru's eyes bled to red, and he turned his head so that Rin would not notice the rise in his youkai and become frightened. Just as quickly, he regained control.

"I must take my leave now, Rin." For some reason he could not fathom he was suddenly very eager to make his exit.

Rin looked down and brushed the charcoal off of her hands as quickly as she could before rising to face him. With a bow she bid him farewell.

Before he could make his retreat she called to him. He stopped and turned his upper body as far around as his armor would allow, "Yes, Rin?"

"Thank you for visiting, my Lord… Rin is always very happy to see you."

He nodded and responded, "This Sesshomaru will come to collect you before the end of the lunar cycle. Be prepared for travel."

"Travel, my Lord?"

Without answering he turned and made his way back to where Jaken and Ah-Un were waiting for him.

Travel? Why did I say that?

Just as much as he wished to get away from her now… he also longed to spend more than a few hours with her… If only temporarily he wanted her back under his care. Perhaps, if things went well, and considering he now knew that she did not intend to bind herself to any of the mortal men in the village…

Perhaps the time to offer her the choice is near…