InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ To Tell the Truth ❯ Cold ( Chapter 3 )

To Tell the Truth

 

An Inu Yasha fanfiction, By Serenanna

 

Part 3 - Cold

 

Warnings and Disclaimers: I don't own Inu Yasha or any of the characters. I'm just borrowing them to play with. I'll return them later after, promise. There is adult content and sexual situations in this story. So, if you're under 18, leave now before your virgin eyes are scarred forever, if you're over 18, enjoy! I do plan to get overly romantic and dramatic before getting to the good stuff so it's gonna be a long story. If you wanna get right to the goods and not enjoy the ride, please, go find another fic? Any modern songs used in this fic are not mine, I'm borrowing them because it amuses me to do so. This is also your tissue/hankie warning, I'm going for the gut so please, don't kill me if I make you bawl your eyes out.

 

Story Notes: This story takes place when our intrepid adventurers are still searching for the shards of the Shikon Jewel and battling Naraku, but at no specific time. This story is not meant to mess into the rest of the series, taking place as if it never happened. It is fan-fiction after all. At this point I do not plan any sequels once this is finished, so please, don't ask? I am working under the assumption that these characters are semi-real people with hearts in their chests and heads on their shoulders, so it will be more realistic than most fanfics when it comes to actual reactions. If I wanted to write completely canon and to character, I'd just summarize the series, but you don't wanna read that do you? To this end, I am working under the assumption that Kagome is not used to the feudal era since it isn't her time, and vice versa. I'm also going under the assumption that they're idiots sometimes like everyone else, but not complete idiots. I'd summarize part one and two, but if you didn't read it then why are you reading part three?

 

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Kagome

 

I had finally stopped running about halfway back to the village, resting against one of the trees to catch my thoughts and my breath. The realization that all along I was the cause of Inu Yasha's change in behavior was overwhelming. What was even more overwhelming was that he might love me, or was least wanted me in the physical sense. I didn't even want to think about that aspect, but given what I'd just witnessed, I couldn't help but do just that. What was coming over me? This was Inu Yasha, I forgot how long ago I stopped looking at him like an annoying, arrogant prick, and more of as a friend, if rough and troubled, and then as a sad, misguided victim of his fate struggling to do the right thing. Maybe that was why I stuck around, not that he'd ever open his eyes to see how much I cared for him, but that he needed my help to overcome his past failures, Kikiyo included. I was beyond caring if he loved me or not. But . . . this was not what I expected, and now that he seemed to maybe love me . . . I was no longer sure if it was what I wanted, or if it was truly genuine.

 

I could think of a hundred reasons about his change of heart, each one more negative then the last and all of them going back to how much me was Kikiyo, and how much of wasn't. No matter how much I did care for Inu Yasha, she always hung in the back of each of my thoughts like a dead shroud. Everything always seemed to lead back to her no matter what I did, so perhaps her memory was at the root of Inu Yasha's sudden infatuation as well. I could feel my heart harden in my chest, determined not to give into the hope, because, really, how much hope did I have competing against a walking corpse and a ghostly remembrance of a woman?

 

I started off back to the village and then onto the well, determined to forget Inu Yasha now that my thoughts were in order. I could deal with this as I had Kikiyo's resurrection and Inu Yasha's continuing affection for her, with quiet resolve and denial. No, I didn't see anything, no, he doesn't love me. I'd just imagined those few minutes at the lake. That would work to keep my heart safe enough for now. I couldn't crumble in the face of such an ephemeral thing as love. Everyone needed and depended on me too much to snap now . . . let alone over Inu Yasha. I was half convinced that I was right in my choice when I heart a rustle of leaves overhead that was too quick to be an errant breeze. I stopped in my tracks, panicked that he'd found me this soon. So much trying to get away. I figured that would have been too easy for me anyway as this day was proving to be anything but easy. I bit my inner lip, unmoving as I head him jump down onto the soft earth with a thump. Slowly, I glanced over my shoulder waiting for whatever hammer he'd throw to shatter me to fall. But none came, which wasn't like him at all.

 

I turned my head after the silence and inhaled sharply as I saw him, the golden, predatory gleam in his eyes shaking me a moment. He looked like he got dressed in a hurry, his robe just around his waist and his under-robe hanging limply open. I could see a glimpse of his skin and muscles underneath, and quickly looked away, not letting him get to me, no matter how good he looked. He's just a boy, even if he was Inu Yasha. I took another step forward, ignoring him completely till the half-demon moved in front of me. All I did was stop and frown without a word as I finally looked him in the face, anger building with the lust I'd been trying to hide since I first saw him naked. I was confused enough as it was. I didn't need another argument with him to cloud my thoughts any more. Couldn't his dumb ass see I wanted to be left alone? Apparently not as he took a step closer as I took one back, keeping the same distance between us. “You're a far way from the village, Kagome . . .” Inu Yasha said, his voice trailing off, as I wondered if there was an implied question or veiled threat in his words.

 

He took another two steps forward and I took two to the side, feeling like a chess pawn the more I moved and the more he stared at me. I could almost feel his eyes undressing me, annoying as it was embarrassing. He was about one tongue flick away from licking his lips, and it started to rattle my nerves as I stuttered, “I-I went to tell you that, that I was leaving for the well now.”

 

Inu Yasha arched one pale eyebrow, and I knew that he'd seen through the half-truth. My skin blanched and then blushed under his scrutiny, looking away as I nervously fingered my pack. “I didn't see you by the lake . . .” He said as he took another step closer and my feet froze.

 

“Well, I didn't look for you at the lake, Miroku just told me you stalked off into the forest,” I was lying but I went with it anyway, sure that he couldn't tell if I'd actually been there at the lake or not, he was preoccupied with himself after all, “Besides, it sounded like quite an argument, I thought better of disturbing you and turned around when I couldn't find you.”

 

The half demon didn't look convinced at all as he took another step towards. My feet finally decided to work as I back-peddled towards one of the nearest trees. He kept coming closer till my back hit the tree trunk, the gleam in his golden eyes deliciously happy as he smirked. His nose even twitched as he smelled the air around me, and I gasped. It was then that I realized that he knew I had then there. My cheeks burned in embarrassment as I glanced to either side of him, looking for a way out even if I knew I'd never out run him. I had to get out of there. I couldn't deal with this as I was almost as enraged as I was enflamed. Angry and ashamed that I'd done it, not just at myself, but with how Inu Yasha was taking it. He didn't have any right to look at me like another piece of meat that he was hunting down. What did he think to accomplish? I was humiliated enough, and I wasn't stupid enough to do admit to anything else even if I was compromised. I was about to make a break for it to the right when Inu Yasha lunged forward, digging his claws into the tree trunk to block my escape as I gasped, bumping into his arms. “You're not talking your way out of this, Kagome . . .” the half demon said as a grin spread out on his face, “Could smell you through a rainstorm, a lake is no different.”

 

“Fine! I admit it, I did see you by the lake! It doesn't matter, because I don't care what you look like or what you were doing! I'm sorry if I was intruding! I am, really, but I was just trying to tell you I was leaving! I didn't intend for that to happen, now would you back off so I can go home and-!” My ranting was cut off as Inu Yasha did the last thing I expected him to do.

 

He kissed me.

 

I yelped in shock into his mouth as his lips covered mine, my eyes wide as I flustered. This was the last thing I expected him to do, but in retrospective I should have expected it from the look in his eyes. There was something warm and tender in his lips even if he pushed me up against the tree, trapping me between the bark and his arm. Dazed, I stood there yielding to Inu Yasha, shuddering as his hand gently wrapped over my neck to force my head back as he towered over me. I almost thought I was dreaming that this wasn't me he was kissing but Kikiyo again. It was too good to be a real kiss. He had no idea how long I'd pictured kissing him, ever since he first took me in his arm, before throwing me down a well, but that was beside the point. The point is that I never thought I would ever feel thing, his tongue pushing past my teeth, his hands wrapped over my body. I whimpered into the kiss, and cried, the tear running over my cheeks.

 

I couldn't take this anymore, I didn't want this, not like this. It took all the strength in my arms to push him off of me, only succeeding in dislodging him from my face. The tears ran faster over my burning cheeks and I fought against him. Inu Yasha blinked at me, his golden eyes innocently confused even as he reflexively tried to grab me. For a moment I thought I saw something in the back of his golden eyes that gave a shade of doubt in what I was doing, and that was love, a glimmer of vulnerable love in those dark depths. But as he seized my wrists to hold me still, I remember he looked at Kikiyo with the same adoration, and I got angry. He must have been confusing and substituting me with the dead priestess, yet again! I yelled and ripped my arms from his grasp. The confusion on his face melted into anger as he tried to grab me again as I twisted out from under his arms. I couldn't see anything from my tear streaked face and stumbled in the mud when I tried to take a step away. “Kagome!” Inu Yasha yelled as he tried to grab me again before I fell, but he was a little late.

 

Once again I was cover in mud and dirt, which only made the turmoil I felt worse. Before the half-demon could grab, I slipped through his claws and slid along the ground away from him, “Back off, Inu Yasha!”

 

He looked at me confused again, quickly becoming annoyed, “What did I do now!?”

 

“What did you do?! What didn't you do! You are the most insensitive, aggressive bastard to ever breathe!” I yelled at him, finding my footing to stand as I threw down my pack, “What has possessed you to try to kiss me?!”

 

The half-demon glared at me, moving closer, “Because I wanted to! Got a problem with that?!”

 

“Yes! God! You're more of a pervert than Miroku! You can't just kiss me!”

 

“And why not!? You deserve to be kissed!” Inu Yasha yelled, coming practically to my face as I went red, gasping in shock. That was a really good line . . . he'd been spending too much time with Miroku. I wasn't about to fall for it though, “What I don't deserve is being treated like meat by you!”

 

“Now what have I done?!”

 

“Stop looking at me like that!” I yelled at him as I backed away even more, abandoning my pack as Inu Yasha followed, “Don't you see that I want to be left alone!?”

 

“And why should I?! You got your look when I want to be left alone!”

 

“It was an accident! I already apologized, now go away!”

 

“No!” Inu Yasha yelled and lunged for me. I dove out of the way and tumbled in the mud, the half demon landing on his face in it. Scrambling back to my feet, I hurried back over to my pack, grabbing the bow and quiver I'd taken to lashing to it. “Sit!” I yelled as he started to get back to his feet, only to end up diving nose first back into the muck.

 

Finally able to breathe, I panted and loaded the bow with one shot, pointing it at him. I wasn't about to take chances with the way he was acting. As Inu Yasha looked up and saw the bow, he growled and glared at me before frowning, his ears drooping to lay flat against his hair. Obviously this wasn't the outcome he'd anticipated, but I had no idea what he was expecting from me. “What has gotten into you?” I asked softly, shaking my head, “What do you want from me so desperately?”

 

The half-demon's mouth dropped open then snapped shut again, apparently still searching for words to my questions. As it took him longer and longer to answer, the annoyed growl in the back of his throat only got louder and louder till he sound out right pissed, “I don't know, ok?! Is that an answer enough for you?! I didn't know what I was thinking, like I ever do! I just thought . . .” his anger seemed to wind down as he frowned more, unmoving even as he looked up at me from the mud, glaring, “I just thought you'd kiss me back . . .”

 

I blinked for a moment, confused by naivety and innocence of that answer. What made him thought I would kiss him back? The blush on my cheeks worsened, drying the tears into salty tracks on my skin. I sniffled and pulled the bow-string tighter, not about to give up on my anger and humiliation so easily, even if I managed to keep it from entering my voice as I calmed down a little, “And what gave you that idea, huh? I never said anything to you, have I acted like I did? Everything I've ever done has done has been to help you because it's the right thing to do! I never asked for you to kiss me . . .”

 

My throat stuck before I could say anymore, choking on the lies in my throat. I may not have said anything to him, but . . . I had wanted him to kiss me . . . my eyes squinted shut as fresh tears rolled down my cheeks. He had no idea what I wanted from him because I had no idea what I did want. The only thing I knew I didn't want was to be Kikiyo's replacement for him. “Please . . . don't . . .” Inu Yasha said looking up at my face again, trying to reach up towards me.

 

His eyes looked into mine as I opened them, barely able to see between the tears, but I could see well enough the pain in those golden and black depths. I probably had the same look in my eyes. Why was he doing this to me? I didn't understand anything as my head swirled again. I couldn't hold back any more on all the anger and bitterness I felt after so long of putting up with him, worrying about him, helping him, letting him use me, order me around, and nag me, and I was stilling longing for him, pining, and wasting my hopes and dreams. He was so dense it killed me, and all he had to do to bring it all up was kiss me. One stupid little kiss, my first kiss, my wasted first kiss. Inu Yasha started to get up again and I pulled the bowstring back fully, crying and yelled as my voice strained in pain, “Leave me alone!”

 

The half demon took the hint and sunk back down into the mud, hanging his head low. I panted, my anger building again, but there was one thing I wanted to know still. “Why?” I asked breathlessly. “I just want to know why? What have I done to make you think you could kiss me?”

 

Inu Yasha winced as the sound of my voice, his ears twitching, the only part of him that seemed to move.

 

“Why?!”

 

“Because I saw you say something about it to Sango! I saw your conversation with her when we came back to Kaede's! You joked about wanting to tie me down like how she tied down the monk lie with him! That's why!” Inu Yasha said defiantly as he started to pull himself to his feet as I froze in disbelief, “You can cut this horseshit about not wanting to kiss me because at least one part of you wanted it!”

 

He saw that?! But . . . that meant . . . Oh, he was right, I couldn't hide it anymore that I did want to kiss him, but that wouldn't stop me from murdering him first! “You bastard! I can't believe you would spy on me like that! I'll kill you!” I screamed as I let the arrow fly, sinking it into the ground at his feet in warning.

 

“Wait!” Inu Yasha yelled as he scampered back. I wasn't listening as I pulled out another arrow and set it in the bow, ready to skewer him into the nearest tree. At least it made me feel somewhat like Kikiyo had at the moment she put him to sleep, even if that illusionary betrayal was more acute. “Damnit, Kagome!” Inu Yasha yelped as he finally got the seriousness of this, but instead he yelled in my face, “We're even now anyway since you spied on me too! And you caught me an even more private moment than girls talking!”

 

I went red in the face all over again, unable to let it go completely even if he was right. God, he was right. I hated that he was right, and that hate clouded over everything else as I screamed, “Sit!”

 

Inu Yasha hit the ground again and this time stayed there, groaning, almost in relief, probably that I hadn't killed him . . . yet. Slowly, I lowered the bow, staring at him as he laid on the ground, unable to say anything as my head kept running in circles. It was surreal that any of this was happening, first the kiss, then this argument when all I wanted was to be left alone. Sniffling, I wiped the tears off my face with my forearm, still unable to let go how angry and miserable I was, and it wasn't just from the mud. The half-demon finally recovered enough to look up at me, the pain still in his golden eyes, wincing as he heard me. Inu Yasha didn't move to stand up finally, sitting instead, just as covered in mud as I was. He looked like hell, which probably reflected just as well on me. “You have a hell of a way of over-reacting,” He muttered gruffly.

 

It was probably suppose to be a joke, but as I glared at him, he winced more. I didn't really feel like joking. “We're both sorry then for what we did,” I said after composing myself enough to leave off the bitter edge, “So let's leave it at that.”

 

I turned and reached for my pack, having had enough of the dramatics for one day. Yet as I heard the rustle of his fire-rat robe, I knew I was in for more, “Kagome, wait.”

 

“What?!” I screamed at him, flying around to face him as I drew the bow back again, “What could be so possibly important that you need to tell me right now?!”

 

He was rapidly fraying at my last nerves, something he must have realized as he gulped with the point of the arrow touching his throat. Inu Yasha suck back down to sitting on the ground, frowning and groaning as he put his head in his hands, “I've really fucked this one up all the way to hell too, haven't I?”

 

No shit.

 

I sighed, letting the bow relax again even if I held it ready, not about to trust him not to try to pounce on me again, and still angry about everything, “I'm sorry, Inu Yasha . . .” I started to say slowly, “But your behavior hasn't given me much choice to be edgy, what has gotten into you? You've been withdrawn at times, then talking to me like a normal person for once instead of arguing, until a few days ago when you went silent again, and now today, I don't understand it at all . . .”

 

I didn't even understand myself as I looked away, wishing I was home at that moment. Why, why, why was I over-reacting to one kiss? He was the one haunted by Kikiyo, not me. But then again, even thinking of her name brought a chill to my skin. I thought it was him with the problem, but perhaps it was me? Something must have snapped in Inu Yasha's mind as he worked up the nerve to reach up and touch my hand, putting both of his over mine.

 

“Kagome . . .” he said slowly, making me turn my head as I looked down at him, “I need to confess to you, the reason I've been avoiding you and acting like this has been because . . . I've been jealous, of Sango and that fucking monk, I couldn't understand how they ever worked out their differences since they seem so much like night and day, that neither of them would ever change themselves, but . . . I caught them kissing . . . and lying together, and I knew it was true, I knew they were happy, and I was jealous of it, because I wanted to be that happy again, I wanted . . . to feel again, I spent 100 years alone on that tree, feeling nothing, dead, but not dead as every thing I knew turned to dust, including the woman I loved . . . and seeing them together made me remember everything I'd been trying to forget, of how it was possible to be . . . in love, I know I'm not perfect, I know I am insensitive, but I'll try learning better, I'll do anything you ask of me now, but . . . I want to tell you, no, damn, I . . . need to tell you . . .”

 

I wished to god I hadn't looked in his eyes at that moment, but I had. It was the same look shining in those dark golden depths that only shone when he looked at her, not me, never me. Inu Yasha didn't even have say it for me to understand how he felt, but he did anyway, “I . . . love you . . .”

 

I bit the inside of my lip to keep from crying again, but the tears build up again anyway at the corners of my eyes. No, he didn't mean it. He couldn't have. Inu Yasha didn't know what he was toying with. How could I be sure I still wasn't her replacement? Did he think it would be that simple or that I'd be that naïve? The anger in me swelled as the culmination of all my nightmares was coming true. I pulled my hand out of his abruptly and backed away, as his mouth dropped open in shock. “Liar,” I whispered, my mind snapping as it was too much to take.

 

“How can I be lying in saying I love you?! What more do I need to say?!” he yelled, panicking as he jumped to his feet.

 

“You've said more than enough! How do you expect me to fall for that?!-“

 

“I'm being honest here, I love-“

 

“Liar!”

 

“But I love-!”

 

“Sit!” I yelled, cutting Inu Yasha off as he fell back into the mud with a frustrated and heart-rending roar. He pounded the ground, shaking the earth as he cursed, “Fucking bitch! Why the hell won't you listen to me!?”

 

“Because, you incredible, fucking asshole of a bastard, it's time you shut up and listened to me for once!” I yelled at him as his eyes widened in shock since I cursed as much as he did. He didn't move, but I didn't care as the words kept spilling from my mouth, unable to stop. I'd wanted to tell him for so long that it finally all came out, the rational part of my mind sitting back, unable to stop it, “Do you realize how long I have wanted to hear you tell me you love me? Ever since I realized you cared about me enough to protect me, even if it involved pushing me back down the well for my supposed protection, and then you hugged me and I knew you meant it, from then on I knew I wouldn't be able to live without, why else would I keep coming back no matter what you did to me? You needed me just as much as I needed you, but I knew you'd never love me because . . .” I winded down and shook my head, shuddering as my thoughts turned darker, “Because of Kikiyo, when you embraced her corpse like that, I knew I would never be able to compete with her, even if she wants to damn you as much as love you, because I can't compete with the memory of the perfect woman, not even a dead perfect woman.”

 

“She is not-!”

 

“Yes, she is dead! You're in love with a memory, Inu Yasha, a ghost! Still! After all these years! And the only person who seems to think she's anything but dead is you! Even Kaede has said that-that thing walking around isn't her dead sister but a shade of her former self!”

 

“No!”

 

“Yes! She's a walking corpse! Undead! A perversion of nature given life, part of my life, to breathe! She's not even a body but grave soil, a mound of dirt given the semblance of a soul! She feeds on the souls of others to keep herself alive! If that is not evil in and of itself, then I don't know the definition of the word! And you not only have the gall to help keep her spirit trapped on this plane in rotting soil, but you do so to protect her! Protect her?! Why?! Are you that desperate for her that you can't let her go?”

 

“Because what other choice do I have?! I promised to protect her when she was alive, and I failed, but that doesn't mean I can't do better, I won't fail again! I am honoring the vow I made! . . . even if it is protecting what little is left of her . . .” Inu Yasha said as he looked down as it finally hit it, shame washing over her face, “You cannot ask me to not protect her, that cannot be the price of your love, my honor demands I fulfill my promise to her . . .”

 

All I saw was red as I finally knew he was lying when he said he loved me. I was right all along, that bitter pill numbing the pain in my heart. My fist clenched on the bow even if it was lowered, seething with hate that was ready to snap out at him rather than all the love I had felt. “Then how can you say you love me?” I asked, my voice dangerously low, the darkness held back by so little.

 

Inu Yasha winced, closing his eyes as his ears sagged limply, “If you know the answer to that already, then you know me better than I know myself, how am I to explain the how's and why's when all I know is that it's true? Do you think I haven't tried to not love you? How easier it would have been to just deny it?” He shook his head, kicking at the mud with an annoyed growl, “All I know is how I feel, I've done everything to be rid of it, including yielding to it, and it still won't leave me anything but miserable.”

 

My eyes narrowed, not buying it for a moment. He was right in that I knew him better than he knew himself. But . . . he really was so dense sometimes. “It's easy to say you love someone,” I said, not hiding the bitterness invading into my voice, even if my eyes softened, “It's much harder to put that love into practice . . . everything I've ever done to find these shards has been because I believed it was the right thing to do for all of us, for you, all for you, because I loved you, even if you were too blind to see it.”

 

He looked at me, blinking, some spark of hope lighting in his eyes. But as I looked away, the half-demon put his head down again, that hope dying, “Kagome, I . . .”

 

“Don't say anything, I'm not done yet, I know you will always love her, which is why it hasn't burdened me, until now, you say you love me, but I know if you had to choose, if you couldn't save us both, you'd still pick Kikiyo over me because she came first, because you feel you owe her still for screwing up the first time, I am nothing but a girl and a tool to that end, one I was gladly till now,” my mouth wouldn't stop now that I had given all my dark thoughts a voice, unable to think of anything else but my undying jealousy of a dead woman, “What am I anyway but a pale reflection of her? What am I but a substitution to her for you? You must have thought that before because I have, every day I can feel the comparisons from those that still remember her, including you, I even felt it when a part of my soul was ripped away to make that flesh doll, but I am not her! I never will be! . . . because I never will live up to her, she was great in her past life if I believe all the stories, but I will never be great, I can't pass school, I can only help you so much even if I'm learning what it means to be a priestess, it's all my fault the jewel was shattered in the first place . . . I cannot help that I'm not Kikiyo at all, I can only be me, Kagome . . . but just Kagome isn't good enough for you, is it?”

 

Inu Yasha's mouth dropped open to say something, but I shook my head. I'd stopped listening a long time ago. “You're right,” I said as I picked up my pack again, starting to leave again back towards the forest, “The price of loving me, all of me, is giving up your vow to protect that corpse, one that I know is too much for your `honor' to bear, you always were stubborn like that, but so am I, if that is how you feel . . .” I said looking back at him again, trying not to break into thousands of tears again, “I just want you to tell the truth, if you love me or not, for real, then maybe, maybe, I'll be ok, no matter what you say.”

 

The half-demon looked at me, his eyes lost as his mouth kept moving open then close without a sound coming out. He was speechless. The more Inu Yasha tried to talk, the more disturbed he became, every face he made angrier than the last till finally he screamed in frustration and pounded the ground. He hung his head, shaking even if I couldn't see why as I turned my back to walk away. “I can't . . .” he said slowly before I was gone completely, “I have nothing else but my honor and my vow to her, I can't give it up, not even for . . .”

 

I didn't want to hear the rest as he trailed because I'd honestly heard enough to know his answer, “But you have me . . . no, you had me.”

 

I could feel the pain in my heart stab and shatter on the ground as I ran. I wanted to go home, and nothing would stop me anymore, not even Inu Yasha.

 

**********

 

Sango

 

Nothing seemed to beat kissing the monk as I held him pinned to the tatami mats in the middle of Kaede's house. She would probably have killed us if she found out, but I wouldn't have cared. At that moment, Naraku himself could have walked though that door, and I would have been completely oblivious to my own death. But, we would have died happy. Miroku was tied up again, his hands behind his back. He seemed to like that position as he looked up at me, that impish grin on his face that made me melt every time he flashed it. But then his smile broke and he groaned as I straddled his hips. I still couldn't believe that he had gotten it up again after two rounds of this. “Sango . . .” the monk breathed into my neck after pulling away from my lips, “Untie me, I think I deserve at least a little feel.”

 

“Why am I not surprised by that request? You always did like groping me,” I said with a giggle as my hand traveled under his body, feeling his back through the clinging robes with my fingers. Avoiding the tie momentarily, I dug under the fabric to touch skin, relishing the control as Miroku groaned into my ear and tried to squirm away when my fingers squeezed. Like he had done to me so many times, I finally got to grope the monk's ass as he jumped, his hips grinding against mine. I always wanted to do that to him so he knew how it felt. “Ahhhh, yes, just . . .” He whined, kissing my neck between words, “Please? I just want to feel you from . . . inside, I'll even let you slap me.”

 

“But won't that break your concentration?”

 

“I didn't say where . . .” Miroku pointed out as I could feel his grin, his teeth grading my shoulder before soothing it with a long lick of the salt off my skin. As if his point wasn't made dramatically enough, I felt his rear that I had groped push down into my hand. I pulled the monk's face away from my shoulder by his hair and kissed him, melting on top of him as I got the idea. He really was a lecher sometimes. My fingers dug through the fabric again to find the tie binding his wrists, deftly pulling the knot loose. As soon as he was free, Miroku grabbed my hand and flipped us both over, staring down into my eyes as the demon-ish grin was back. He twisted my arm away and pinned it to the mats before I could get free. Out of instinct, my legs wrapped over his hips, moaning as I felt him pressed against the petals of my center. This was torture. I should have told him that I was taking the small white pills Kagome gave me, and ended out suffering, but I wasn't sure they would work. Everything else the girl from the future gave us seemed to work in her time, but . . . this was almost one thing I didn't want to fool around with. Not that fooling around with a man like Miroku wasn't hazardous enough.

 

The beads wrapped around his gloved hand clinked and brushed against my skin as he touched lower on my body. With a moan, I arched my back, welcoming the cold stone beads along with the warmth of his hand. I almost forgot what I was supposed to do in our little agreement when the monk's lips lowered from neck to kiss the skin of my breasts. But, I didn't forget for long. Just as his fingers had parted my folds, my hand came down on his rear with a loud smack that reverberated through the small house. Miroku jumped with a loud grunt, rubbing his length across the inside of my thigh. I blinked, not thinking he would like it that much. “Sango . . .” he breathed as he finally remembered what he was doing to me, rubbing his finger along the wet lips, “Maybe you were right about it breaking my concentration.”

 

“Still want me to do it again?” I asked before his thumb found sensitive bud nestled at my opening. I lost my own concentration and squirmed under him with a strangled moan, riding the waves of pleasure from that touch. The monk didn't let up though as he slipped two fingers within me and hooked them, gently rubbing along the slick walls as if teasing me before pushing in and out. My legs tightened around his hips and I slapped Miroku across the ass again, the jolt breaking his grip on my wrist as he gave a startled by passionate cry. I felt the head of his sex brush against my petals, and I shivered, so close to wanting him inside me as his fingers sped up their ministrations. Now that my hand was free, I reached down between us to take his length in my hand, feeling it pulse with each touch. Miroku shuddered and looked up at me, his dark blue eyes swimming as his mouth left the skin of my breasts. He kissed me as his fingers probed deeper, and I finally shuddered, screaming my release into his mouth. The honey from my folds flooded his hands and the mat under us, joined by the monk's seed as my hand brought him along soon after.

 

He collapsed on top of me in another kiss, slow and lingering as my arms wrapped over his neck to trap him there. I giggled as he finally pulled away, panting more than me but grinning nonetheless. “I thought I was supposed to be the lecher?” he whispered into my ear, pulling me onto my side with him as we were tangled together.

 

“You are, and always will me a lecher, no one can like getting slapped and felt up in return that much except a lecher, but . . .” I said, grinning myself as my fingers played with his hair, “It does have its advantages too.”

 

Miroku chuckled and pulled me in close till he was pressed tightly against me. “I knew it, I've created a monster! I've polluted my love's purity into licentiousness! I must cure us both by making us so exhausted we'll be loath to touch one another in any foul fashion!” he yelled as I laughed softly, nestled against his chest as I kicked him to get him to stop, which didn't work at all, “But it's true, Sango, my beloved, you have become as much a slave to the pleasures of flesh as I have! Perhaps we can be cured with an, what did Kagome call it when her people stuck needles of stuff into people? Ah! An injection! I will sure us both with an injection!”

 

I slapped the monk across the back for that, giggling. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Kilala looking at me, frowning with her drooped ears and narrowed eyes. She always looked at me like that after I fooled around with Miroku, but she seemed to have gotten used to it as she yawned and curled up again. “Perhaps if you could keep it, well, down for once, I wouldn't be compelled to help solve your daily problem.”

 

“But you usually start it!”

 

“And you-!” I was cut off as we both heard the front screen open. Miroku let go of me faster than dropping a hot roasted potato, fumbling to cover himself with his robes. I yanked the tie of my yukata from his wrist as he glared at me, hurriedly fixing myself as well as I turned to see who it was. Somehow in the time it we'd spent doing, um, what were doing, it had started to rain again and was dark as Inu Yasha stood in the doorway of Kaede's house, drenched and covering in mud. My cheeks flushed with embarrassment as I pulled the thin cotton a little tighter around me. It was suddenly getting chilly too as the wind picked up through the windows. I was grateful as Miroku pulled the half-demon inside and closed the door. From the dazed look in his eyes, I didn't think he was gonna come in on from the storm on his own anyway. He looked like he was in shock, and it unnerved me the more he seemed to be more interested in the mats than either of us . . . it was troubling. I glanced at the monk and, from the troubled expression he had as well, I knew something wasn't right. “Inu Yasha?” Miroku asked tentatively, shaking him slightly.

 

He finally looked up but looked lost, “Where's Kagome?”

 

I blinked, my jaw dropping open, “Wasn't she with you?”

 

“So she didn't stop here at all?” Inu Yasha asked, ignoring my question as he started to smell the air and move towards the back of the house, searching for something then stopping with a deeper, disappointed frown, “No, of course not . . .”

 

Miroku and I exchanged looks again, and he went after the half-demon, “No, she said she was going to see you, then to the well, but she hasn't been back since, and since she's not with you I assume she when to the well.”

 

Inu Yasha growled and dropped down the sit on the mats, burying his face in his hands, “I hope you're right, monk, because I couldn't follow her scent in all this rain, I . . . I lost her . . .”

 

My eyes widened. What did he mean he lost her? How could he have lost her? I was getting more upset and perplexed, shooting another look at Miroku. He shrugged, puzzled even more than I was. Before either of us could ask the inevitable question of Inu Yasha, he sprung to his feet, going towards the front door again, “I have to find her, I have to explain to her, I'll make her understand this time.”

 

This time Miroku finally sprung into action, blocking him from the door as the half-demon growled at him, “You're not going anywhere explain to us what happened.”

 

“I can't explain it all right now because I don't even know what the hell happened, one moment I'm pouring my heart out to her and the next I'm even doubt myself that I meant it, so get the fuck out of my way since this is between just me and her,” Inu Yasha muttered, grabbing the monk on the shoulder to move him away from the door. Miroku held his ground as I also moved to stop him, “Inu Yasha, wait, she probably went to the well and if she'd, she's safe and not going anywhere, please, calm down, it'll be useless talking to her like this anyway.”

 

He whirled around the face me, glaring but I stayed rooted to my spot glaring back. “She's right,” Miroku said, “If you two had another fight, it would do any good continuing to chase after her.”

 

Inu Yasha growled, bitterness in his voice while he bristled with anger, “I don't need advice from either of you right now, you've both done more than enough to `help' anyway, now back off . . . there's nothing more you can `help' with.”

 

Before either of us could say anything, the silver-haired young man jumped right over Miroku, narrowly avoiding colliding with the roof, and sprinted for the door. Inu Yasha managed to throw it open and run out into the storm, both of us quick enough behind him to watch as he ran off into the forest towards the well. As soon as he was gone, the monk started cursing as I slowly closed the door. Had we failed? From Inu Yasha's behavior, it looked like we'd not only failed, but ruined everything. “This is horrible! How could we have misjudged like this? What went wrong in the first place? I knew we should have followed them and not left it up to fate, it always has a way of fucking with those two,” Miroku said as he paced back and forth.

 

I sat in front of the door myself, brewing over it myself. Kagome was my friend, the only friend I had that was going through some of the same things as I was. If Inu Yasha was right, she was in dire need of a shoulder to cry on right now, but she'd left. She'd left us. I could think of hundreds of horrible outcomes to this. What if she never came back? What if she was changed by this? What if she was no longer the Kagome we knew, the light in this dark time? What if . . . it was all too much for her to take? I tried not to dwell on that one but I couldn't think of anything else. A tear rolled down my cheek as I sat down on the mat, curling up in a ball while listening to the thunder pour out in the night as it grew darker. Miroku stopped his pacing as I sobbed, his eyes burning on my back. I felt the mat under me shift and then his hands on my face, pulling me to turn towards him. His lips touched the tear on my cheek and I sniffled, “We're horrible, we never should have thought that we could change anything between them.”

 

The monk lowered his arms to hold me against his chest, trying to soothe my worries, “No, we're not, but . . . you were right, we never should have thought that their situation was simply one of blindness, it's my fault more than anything . . .”

 

He sighed and held me tighter as the tears dried up. It felt calmer in his arms as the winds picked up again outside, howling in the dark. If this did end in tragedy for our friends, against all hope, there was at least one silver lining. The irony that silver lining too. When we first set out to change their relationship, we didn't except to be changed ourselves. For that I was grateful that I took a chance and believed. “At least . . .” I started to say as I wiped the tears away, “Little good did could out of this after all, I just hope . . .”

 

Miroku snorted in a soft chuckle, kissing the top of my head, “I know, Sango, the best we can do for them now is pray to the gods and spirits that we're right, Kagome is safe, and Inu Yasha has the courage to put things back to right between them . . .”

 

“It sounded like he tried to tell her how he felt . . .”

 

“I'm sure he did . . .”

 

“Poor Kagome, maybe she was the blind one after all . . .”

 

“Who knows . . .” Miroku said with a sigh. Kilala trotted over to us, nuzzling my knee and mewing pathetically as her tails lazily curled in the air. She always looked like that when she was hungry. I could feel my own stomach rumble, little wonder given the time. “Come on,” I said as I stood up again, scooping up the fire-cat in my arms to pet her, “Both of us need food, I suppose it'll keep our mind off of worrying for them.”

 

“I'm sure they worry themselves sick well enough alone.”

 

 

**********

 

Kagome

 

I never should have picked such a rainy day to fight with Inu Yasha, then he might have carried me to the well instead of having to run there on my own. The rain had started when I was half way there and only got worse, becoming a full storm when I arrived. After slipping in the mud, twice, and stopping to pull on a poncho, I was grateful to see the familiar wood and overgrowth around it. I climbed up onto the ledge surrounding it and stared down into the darkness of the well, wondering if this was truly the right course, to go home. It felt like running away, especially with that teasing voice in my head that said I should have gone home long ago and stayed there. Then maybe I wouldn't have been so wrapped up as I was now. I shook my head. No, I'd be back. I couldn't abandon the others over the half-demon as that would have been too petty to do when they needed me most. I hated feeling like I was running away from my problem with him, but I couldn't help it.

 

I needed to feel normal again, with school, and tests, and friends who didn't carry weapons with them at all times, even if it was for a little. I also needed to not think about him, and to heal. My heart would recover from today, but I needed time to mourn. I took a glance back at the forest, knowing he'd follow me in no time at all once he figured out where I went. That might undo me altogether if I couldn't even find rest in my once so-called home. There had to me something I could do to warn him off for a little. I stepped down from the well and pulled the pack off my back, digging through it till I found a note pad, a pen, and an empty clear water bottle I meant to dispose of when I returned home. After writing a short note, I stuffed it inside the bottle with a rock to weight it down, shielding it and my pack from the rain with my poncho. Finished, I dropped the bottle on the ground at the base of the well, and climbed back up before jumping through the opening.

 

Going through the well always did feel strange, like falling, but . . . you never touched bottom till you have arrived. After so long going back and forth, I never did get used to it really. I stepped down onto the bottom of the well finally, and almost thought I was still in the feudal era as I heard the rain still. But I looked up to see the roof overhead of me, and I knew I was finally home. I guessed the rain must have come back with me as well. Climbing up the ladder, I peeked over the edge towards my house to see that the lights were out. Odd . . . maybe grandpa and mom were out . . .

 

I walked across the temple courtyard and into the house after fishing my keys out of the pack. “Mom?” I called out, but I knew there was no one there in the darkness.

 

After turning on a few lights, and locking the front door, I found a note by the door as I peeled off my shoes. “Chaperoned Souta's class trip, Grandpa is at his friend's home for the weekend, took the cat, food and supplies in the kitchen, and money for shopping, love, mom, PS. No Inu Yasha in the house, I'm not cleaning up after him again,” I read out loud before disposing of the letter, “At least she doesn't have to worry about him too much anymore . . .”

 

I didn't want too dwell on that too much as I went to work, starting with a nice long bath and fresh clothes followed by dinner and then reorganizing my pack for the trip back. Thank god mom left money for me as she was out of a few things, and I needed to get the pills for Sango as well. Once I was finished, I went upstairs to start studying. I could spend three days back here probably, before they needed me, really, or got word from Kaede. Enough time to put in two appearances at school, make up my tests, take the chemistry one, and maybe hang out with my friends. I'd be almost normal again, almost. Maybe by then I'd be able to sort out everything in my head. I cracked open my chem books and got to work, making sure I'd be ready for the test tomorrow. I was about halfway done, throwing myself into the studies to block out everything else, when the phone rang. Out of habit, I picked it up on the third ring, “Hello?”

 

“Kagome!” yelled three other voices on the line, Eri, Ayumi, and Yuka, all in unison till one of them started, “We didn't think we'd get you!”

 

“We heard you had the mumps!”

 

“We thought you'd been permanently confined to your bed!”

 

“Are you well?”

 

“Are you in pain?”

 

“You're not just ditching school are you?”

 

I giggled at the last question. If only the three of them knew the truth. “I'm fine, guys, I'm not skipping school, I really was sick for a little, it comes and it goes, but I should be there tomorrow.”

 

“Good!” yelled Yuka, followed by Eri, “Cause you're coming shopping with us tomorrow whether you go to school or not!”

 

“There's this great sale at the book shop!”

 

“And you need more clothes!”

 

“Something special to wear for your mystery man!”

 

“For the last time I don't have a mystery man!” I huffed into the phone, admitting to at least part of the truth, “At least not anymore.”

 

I heard the three of them scream and babble on the other end of the phone, jarring enough that I had to pull it away from my ear. After their yelling died down, I listened in again as Eri finally asked, “Kagome? You ok?”

 

“Yeah, I'm fine.”

 

“You don't sound fine . . .” I heard Yuka whimper in the background.

 

“Well, maybe not, but I'm still alive, so, yeah, I'm fine, I'll survive, just need time,” I said, exhaling slowly.

 

“Take all the time you need, we'll even stop throwing poor Hojo at you,” I giggled, grateful for that small favor from my other friends, “Just meet us at the mall tomorrow after school, bye Kagome!”

 

“Bye!” they all shouted in unison as I winced.

 

“Bye guys,” I said, still giggling as I hung up. Finished, I flopped down onto the bed, staring up at the ceiling. I can't believe I told them at least that much about Inu Yasha, but . . . I guess it finally made sense to tell them now that I'd never have to show him off to them just to prove his existence. I curled up on top of the covers, feeling more depressed as I finally let it get to me that we'd never be together like I'd always hoped, at least not until both of us got over the memory of Kikiyo. I didn't hate her, and I really meant what I said to him about never being as great as she was. How could you hate someone that perfect but still dead to the people that knew her? I glanced at the book still on my desk and got up to close it. That was enough studying for one night. I then moved to look out the window near by, touching the glass as the rain drops trickled down it.

 

I actually started to smile as I closed my eyes and listened to the rain, letting the gentle noise wash away the day full of pain and sorrow. You know . . . I didn't care anymore if they kept on comparing me to her. Let them. Kikiyo had never stopped me from being me till I knew she existed so . . .

 

I wouldn't be as elegant or serenely peaceful as she was, but as long as I had to fight for my friends, for the Jewel, and for Inu Yasha, I would do it, because I always believed in them. That was where Kikiyo had failed. Her trust and compassion for the people she cared about faltered. She had stopped believing the best of him. I wouldn't make that mistake again . . . even if I was still just his friend. I turned around and leaned my back against the glass as my heart thumped painfully in my chest. It was so hard getting over him . . . at least I had three whole days to forget . . .

 

As I curled up in bed later that night after more studying, I thought about Miroku and Sango, and how happy they where now that they had each other. To think the half dog-demon was right about that. You could be jealous of your closest friend's happiness. I closed my eyes on that thought, silently wishing them the best even if I wanted the same thing for myself. I guess that was still going to be a long wait in coming.

 

**********

 

Inu Yasha

 

I ran through the forest as fast as I could after leaving Kaede's little house, wondering if I'd making it in time. She wasn't as fast as me, especially through this type of weather. It would probably take her forever to get to the well. How could I have been so stupid to let her go like that, so weak? But she was making be doubt everything I felt and knew to be true, it seemed . . . even worse to force her to stay. I just needed to see that she was safe on the other side of the well, which is why I ran after her in the first place. That would be enough, and then I could sort out how I felt about her, really. As I finally reached the clearing in which the well sat, I didn't see Kagome anywhere, panicking as I looked over the edge into the bottom. Did she really go home? I doubted it till my foot stepped on something in the grass that made a loud cracking sound. What was that material she called it? Ah, right, it was `plastic' that I had stepped on.

 

I bend over and picked it up, noticing that it was one of those bottles she brought filled with water. My eyes widened as I saw the piece of paper in it and the rock. Clever girl. Moving out of the rain as it turned into a drizzle, I took shelter under one of the trees on the edge of the clearing before opening the note to read it. At least Kagome didn't use complicated Kanji or that stupid `English' her school forced her to learn. It was simple and short for a letter too.

 

I went home, three days. I need to think, alone. If you do love me, don't follow. Kagome.

 

Crumpling the bottle in my hand, I tried not to growl and jabbed the letter into my robe before dropping the piece of plastic. Great . . . at least she was safe, that was what mattered. I sat down in the wet grass, not minding the rain or the mud since a little more wouldn't ruin anything that wasn't already ruined. What was I going to do now? Three days and she'd be back, I could sort it out by then, right? I couldn't understand what drove her to say those things about Kikiyo and herself she when knew I had to protect the dead priestess. Did she think that I didn't understand that the woman I loved was dead and gone? I did understand, but . . . what was left of her still walked, and that was the part I still needed to protect. I couldn't let go of that vow, I couldn't! But . . . could I? And what did she expect me to do about it anyway? Just tell Kikiyo that I couldn't protect her anymore? Kill what remained of her, again? I snorted in derision. Like that would ever happen.

 

In honesty, I didn't know what to do about this or how I could prove I was truly sincere to Kagome. I groaned, curling up as I tried not to remember hearing her cry. It was just like in my nightmare, I just never thought it would come true. The only satisfaction I got was to know that she loved me, or had loved me. Gods, how could I have kissed her?! Maybe if I hadn't have kissed her, she wouldn't have over-reacted, but . . . I did feel good to hold her, and to feel her lips on mine. Even after all the grief she gave me I still wanted Kagome, still needed her with me, and still loved her . . . even she didn't believe me when I said it. My mind went back in circles again, back to Kikiyo and Kagome, Kikiyo and Kagome, Kikiyo . . . or Kagome?

 

Was she right? Was it truly one or the other, and not both? Both of them were still living and breathing, sort of? But what if Kagome was right, and if they were both in trouble and I couldn't save them both, would I save the undead priestess over her? I didn't know the answer to that question. My heart screamed at me that it should be Kagome I saved, but my honor screamed that it should be Kikiyo . . . did I owe Kikiyo that much?

 

I didn't have time to think of an answer as I saw a faint glow if pale greenish-yellow light. Looking up, I saw that the drizzle had dissolved into a misty night. Standing up, I followed the source of the light past the well and into the forest on the opposite side of the clearing. Through the trees and the fog I could see a floating serpentine shape attached to the light, and I knew I was not alone any longer that night. Kikiyo. Why she was around her was beyond me. The best excuse I could think of as to why she was here was that she was collecting more souls. On that thought alone I shuddered. Sure enough as I followed the soul collector, it led me to another smaller clearing, an outcrop of stones breaking the line of trees that then ran uphill, and on one of rocks sat Kikiyo. She looked as placid and quiet as ever as her minion brushed up to her, depositing the soul which was absorbed into her as soon as it touched the cloth of her robes. It was only after she had finished watching the last of them float away that she looked up to see me as I peeked out from one of the trees.

 

Caught, again.

 

But it wasn't like I was trying to hide too much this time either. “You always did like just watching me, Inu Yasha,” Kikiyo said with a soft smile as she stood up, starting to shuffle forward.

 

I moved out from behind the tree and approached her as well, looking down. How could I tell her that I couldn't be there for her anymore? That I'd lost her a long time ago, mourned our love while stuck to that accursed tree, and now had found another? She looked at me with those perceptive blue eyes of hers, and, for a moment, I thought it was Kagome I was looking at and not Kikiyo. I blinked and the illusion was gone, they may have had the same eyes, but the priestess before me lacked the warmth in them that her supposed `pale imitation' held. “Something's wrong isn't it?” She asked.

 

She always did seem to know when something was up. “There is . . . I came here to follow someone else, but . . . now I see that I really came here to talk to you,” I said looking down.

 

Her eyes narrowed as she frowned, moving back to sit again on the rocks, “This isn't like you, so introspective when you usually go with your instincts.”

 

“Yes, well, my instincts can be wrong,” I said as I took a deep breath. The air not only smelled like fresh rain but old death and wisteria with a dose of plum blossoms. This wasn't the scent of the Kikiyo I remembered, Kagome was right, this wasn't the Kikiyo I swore to protect. “I needed to talk to you because . . . I . . . think it would be best if we finally let the past be the past,” Kikiyo's eyes widened a moment but she didn't open her mouth to stop me as I continue, “I know I promised you I'd always be there, but . . . I'm sorry I cannot put this more gently, but . . . it is time we let each other go, I loved you, once, but then tragedy struck us both, and I mourn what was and what could have been, I am so sorry I could never give you the protection you needed or the peace you greatly deserve, and I wanted to tell you for so long that you always deserved someone better than me, I am a fool twice over to think that my vow to you also belonged to you beyond the grave, you'll always be with me, but . . . I cannot pretend anymore that you're the woman I will always love.”

 

She looked shocked at me a moment, and then smiled. Kikiyo actually smiled. I blinked, not quite believing what I was seeing this time either. “That is the most grown-up thing I've ever heard you say,” the undead priestess said, her smile unflinching.

 

I could feel a grin creep up onto my face as well at her words. She was right, I'd been saying a lot of grown up things today, but I guess I had to grow up sometime, right? “So . . . you're not angry or disappointed in me . . . are you?” I asked, tentatively, knowing I wasn't off the hook completely.

 

Kikiyo stood up from the rock, smoothing out her robes before she spoke, “No, I'm not, I just wonder what finally brought about this change, even like this I was always curious why you kept trying to hold on to me even when I despised you and hurt your new found friends, for which I am sorry as well . . . what has changed you, Inu Yasha? And why did you try to hold onto that vow of yours till now?”

 

I closed my eyes as I knew she would ask that, “Because I thought my honor required it of me because you were still walking, I didn't realize how much of you . . . wasn't there anymore till today.”

 

“You're right, there isn't much of what I once was in this form, but it is an existence, one I was robbed for before, one I shouldn't squander,” she said as she exhaled, closing her eyes, “But that isn't the only reason you changed is it?”

 

Despite myself, I blushed under her scrutiny, scratching my hair to shake off my embarrassment. I wanted to lie to her, but under those blue eyes, it was futile. “There's someone . . .” I started to confess.

 

I had just about had Kagome's name on my mouth when she interrupted me, her smile turning into a grin. “It's that girl isn't it, with the blue eyes and the funny clothes?” she asked with a high amused giggle in her voice, “The one who keeps coming to my rescue more than you.”

 

Gawking, I could do nothing but blush and stammer before finally stumbling in admitting to it, “Um, yeah . . . Kagome.”

 

Kikiyo smiled more, and I started to wonder if she was truly not her old self again, but then the smile faded and she nodded sadly, “I knew it, I always knew it, but then again, I always knew myself well . . .”

 

“She isn't you, Kikiyo,” I said, shocking myself that I admitting it that easily. She looked at me, one eyebrow arching elegantly, and then shook her head dismissively. Ok, so apparently she didn't believe me. “As much as you and her both believe that, that girl, Kagome, is and is not me as I once was, I must have learned much in each reincarnation to make her because she instills all the best that I was with the strength to bear such gifts, she will not make all the mistakes I made in not trusting you, and being so bitter even in my death, you do not know how lucky you are that it was she that went through the well, and not some other soul who has not learned so much, tell me, do you know why she has kept looking out for the both of us?”

 

“Because she loves me?” I said tentatively, the blush starting to creep to my ears.

 

Smiling again, the priestess said with a soft laugh, “Then she must love you much then, but I suppose she's done so because she cares for you so much as to torment her own heart by keeping me alive as well . . .”

 

I was finally understanding Kagome's tirade earlier as I looked down, shaking my head. Kikiyo was right. That was why I loved her . . . and I didn't even see it. How could I have been so blind? Now I just wished I could tell that to Kagome, “Thank you . . . now I think I understand.”

 

A frown tugged on my lips as the priestess tilted her head, “Something the matter, still?”

 

I nodded, glancing away, disbelieving that I was confessing this to my past love, and not the woman who should have been hearing it, “She . . . didn't believe me when I told that I loved her, she thought I couldn't separating the two of you, and that was the reason I said what I . . . said, which is why I thought breaking with you might convince her, except that she didn't want me to follow her home . . .”

 

Kikiyo was still smiling, even if there was a sad expression in her eyes, “I am not surprised by this since you never did understand women.”

 

Blinking, I wondered at what she meant by that, my ears quirking forward. She grinned a moment then moved in close, kissing me before I had the sense to protest. Before I even knew what I felt, Kikiyo backed away and smiled, still sadness in the air around her, “Go to her, ignore what she said, and tell her, the gods know she deserves to hear it more than I do.”

 

The soul collectors returned, gliding around their mistress as she turned and moved to walk but the stone and through the trees. And I stood there, still stunned into silence. Before she left completely, the priestess turned back towards me as I realized it was pity in her eyes, “And Inu Yasha . . . get her some flowers, lots and lots of flowers.”

 

And with that, Kikiyo was gone. Wandering back to the well, I tried to resist the urge to scratch my head. Yup, I was never, ever, going to understand women, living or dead. I found myself looking down the well again in little time, wondering over Kikiyo's advice. Somehow I doubted flowers would make it all better. I should have just back go back to Kaede's house and wait out the three days as patiently, heh, as I could. But . . . oh, to hell with it all, Kagome could kill me later, after I made her understand. Maybe the priestess was right about the flowers. I just needed something to make her listen again. I could do this. Breathing deeply, I jumped into the well. Whether Kagome wanted it or not, I wasn't going to back down, not this time.

 

**********

 

To Be Continued in Part 4 of To Tell the Truth, Vindicated . . .