InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Torn ❯ Embracing Solace ( Chapter 7 )

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Chapter Seven

 

Embracing Solace

 

 

 

(This chapter is for all you Inu/Kouga lovers out there, especially Koga's Hentai Luver. Don't worry, we will be back to Sesshoumaru in the next chappie. This sucker is long, so make yourself comfortable.)

 

 

 

 

It matched the rate of his heart, the pulsing of his father's fang, Tenseiga. Distracting. In this surreal, shadowed darkness, there was no mirroring breath. No rise and fall of the other's chest. Oddly disquieting, despite the silence. And that silence couldn't stave off the voices inside of his head.

 

`He made you weak. You almost died for him.'

 

Tenseiga pulsed against his hip. `I, Sesshoumaru, have never been weak.'

 

The fang began to hum.

 

It seemed strange that Inuyasha's chest was not rising and falling, unnatural, and it made Sesshoumaru very aware of the deafening sound of his own heartbeat. It was almost as though, by concentrating on his own breathing, he could force air into Inuyasha's lungs. Something was just so wrong with this painting...and as long as Inuyasha's chest remained still, his chest felt as though it would explode.

 

`You protected him and almost paid with your life. Would you die for him?'

 

Sesshoumaru growled under his breath as the internal war raged.

 

`You protect Rin. She is a weakness. Would you die for her?'

 

Tenseiga loosened itself from the grip of its sheath and rattled with purpose, fighting the battle for Inuyasha's life.

 

`I protect no one.'

 

`Liar! You would die to protect them both! Fortunately, the hanyou is no longer a threat to your power and longevity. But, what about Rin?'

 

Tenseiga's vibrations bore down onto Sesshoumaru's thoughts.

 

`You know that she must die. She is human. Spare her the humiliation of old age. Dispatch her.'

 

`Silence!'

 

Sesshoumaru attempted to still the call of Tenseiga by resting his hand on the hilt. Warmth flooded into his hand, traveling up his arm to pour throughout his body.

 

`No one can force weakness on me, neither Inuyasha, nor Rin! I betrayed him. For what!? Pride?'

 

The heat exuded by Tenseiga's hilt had reached nearly painful proportions. Blood dripped down the handle as Sesshoumaru's claws dug into the palm of his hand as it wrapped around the hilt. A foreign, purple-black sludge separated from the bright red liquid of his blood and congealed, only to be seared by Tenseiga and burned away as a fine black powder.

 

`You are weak! You love them. They aren't even near your equal and you love them! You're pathetic.'

 

“Enough!” roared Sesshoumaru.

 

Yanking Tenseiga from its sheath, Sesshoumaru strode to the side of the bed while his vision faded to a haze of crimson fog. The sword glowed with an intensity that Sesshoumaru had never before seen. Power flowed in a visible arc of blinding white light, fighting its way toward the pale human. Upon seeing the demon spawn binding Inuyasha's spirit in chains, bile rose in Sesshoumaru's throat. He flicked his wrist and Tenseiga followed his arm's command, swooping to the right in readiness for the saving swing.

 

`They will be your death,' hissed the voices in his head.

 

When he paused at the unwanted words, Tenseiga burned its displeasure and screamed its anxious insistence through Sesshoumaru's body.

 

“So be it,” he responded with calm determination.

 

`You will regret this.'

 

“Never.”

 

In one smooth motion, Tenseiga swept the length of Inuyasha's cold form then efficiently landed, snug in its sheath. A quick brush of the back of his fingers across Inuyasha's cheek, and Sesshoumaru was gone.

 

~*~

 

 

The scent of sex and death, laced with a hint of poison, curled up into Kouga's nostrils as he made his way to Inuyasha's room. He had wondered why Inuyasha had slept so late. Now he knew. The corridor felt like a never-ending passage as he raced toward the abhorrent scent. His heart pounded erratically against the wall of his chest. The fact that the door to Inuyasha's room was unlocked was inconsequential. He crashed through it and jumped onto Inuyasha's bed, straddling the hanyou.

 

“Inuyasha! Inuyasha!” Kouga called as he grabbed his friend's shoulders and shook him with unnecessary force.

 

“Ung,” Inuyasha groaned when greeted by blinding, morning light, streaming through his window, and by an anxious wolf demon rattling his brains. “What the fuck, Kouga? Get the hell off me.”

 

His mumbled words were ignored as Kouga continued to stare at him with wide eyes. “What happened to you? I was coming to see what was up because you slept later than usual and I find you reeking with the smell of sex and death,” Kouga practically panted while lowering the volume of his voice.

 

`Sex...and death?' Inuyasha wondered. The foul, bitter tang of poison still clung to the walls of his throat and nostrils. With a whimper, his world crumbled, folded in upon itself, shriveled up, and died then disappeared in a puff of green poison.

 

Kouga watched as startled golden eyes rose up to meet his intense steely blue gaze.

 

“He...he,” Inuyasha choked on the burning lump rising in his throat. “Go away. Leave me alone, Kouga.” Inuyasha shoved Kouga backward. `Oh gods, why? I thought...just like Kikyou, only she didn't take my virginity before she killed me.'

 

Memories of his first love and her betrayal called up and replayed the despair and pain of the past, burning his chest, throat, and mind.

 

“Did he fuck you before or after he killed you?” Kouga growled.

 

“Just leave, baka! Get away from me!” Inuyasha strangled out in a low growl meant to cover his distress.

 

Kouga could see the reflection of tears welling up in Inuyasha's eyes. “No, I won't leave.”

 

He knew Inuyasha's mind better than most. In some part of Inuyasha's mind, Inuyasha had always known that Kagome would go back to her own world and had been as prepared as he could have been. But this, this was unimaginable. Kouga knew that this might very well break his friend. Despite the brothers' warring relationship, Kouga knew how it must have haunted the hanyou that his own brother loathed him. It had been obvious that Inuyasha craved his brother's acceptance and maybe even his love. And for Sesshoumaru to go and do something like this was indefensible and unforgivable. Sesshoumaru had given Inuyasha the desires of his heart only to utterly shatter that same heart.

 

Kouga knew that he would never be able to fathom the depth of Inuyasha's pain, but could tell that this could very well be the last straw in Inuyasha's struggle to tread the water above others' hatred. To overcome the taunts and spite of humans and demons was one thing, to have someone that you hold dear betray you in the most intimate of ways could very well destroy a soul. Inuyasha could very well drown. A soul could only take so much.

 

“Go away,” Inuyasha yelled, shoving Kouga in the chest as his face and ears turned crimson with embarrassment, humiliation, and a host of other emotions that made for one distraught hanyou.

 

“No,” Kouga answered softly, gathering Inuyasha in his arms and holding him in an iron grip.

 

“Fuck you, Kouga,” Inuyasha whimpered as his body began trembling. The concern of his friend coaxed the first tear down Inuyasha's cheek, then another and another.

 

“What happened, Inuyasha?” Kouga whispered, clutching Inuyasha's face in the crook of his neck.

 

“Can't you just leave me the hell alone?” Inuyasha struggled in Kouga's grip, but not wanting to hurt his friend, he didn't put forth the effort that he could have. Even though he preferred being alone in his suffering, something inside of him desperately needed the healing comfort of a concerned friend. It didn't help that he had just been betrayed, but he knew that Kouga had no intention of harming him.

 

“No, you need me right now,” Kouga murmured over the top of Inuyasha's head as he squeezed his friend closer.

 

Disbelief had given way to horror, leaving in its wake a depth of grief that Inuyasha had never experienced in his life. Not even Kikyou's betrayal had hurt this bad. This stupid mistake was proof positive that he was ignorant and weak. Why hide it? Why should he care what people thought of him? They were right.

 

“He...made love to me, Kouga. He made love to me...,” Inuyasha finally volunteered after a few moments of silence.

 

`Don't you mean that the bastard fucked you then threw you away?' thought Kouga, but was unwilling to say it. Kouga had seen this side of Inuyasha only once and it had disturbed him greatly. Yet, even then, there had been the same old stubbornness to the hanyou's demeanor. Now...now there was only emptiness and a fathomless well of pain reflected in those golden eyes. Where mocking Inuyasha that first time had worked, he knew that this time would be much different. The hurt was fresh and deep.

 

“He said....” Inuyasha took a shuddering breath and swallowed hard. “He said he loved me.”

 

“Well, he sure has a strange way of showing it,” Kouga replied as he began stroking Inuyasha's hair as he held in his rage and hatred for Inuyasha's half-brother.

 

“I can't believe he did that? Why...How could he?” Inuyasha sobbed, clutching Kouga's neck and burying his face deeper in the reassuring warmth of his friend. “I know that he's a cold-hearted son-of-a-bitch, but that was unforgivable.”

 

“What were you expecting, Inuyasha? I mean, why would he change all of the sudden?”

 

“I'm still just a filthy hanyou to him, aren't I?” Inuyasha's body began trembling again.

 

“I don't know what you are to him, Inuyasha, but it doesn't matter. He doesn't matter. Hanyou or not, you are my friend, my comrade. Come with me. I'll take you home,” Kouga offered, hoping that Inuyasha would take him up on it. Inuyasha needed to put as much space between him and Sesshoumaru as physically possible, as fast as possible, or he would crumble like a dry leaf. That much Kouga was sure of. He had seen this kind of grief before and it was never to be taken lightly.

 

“I don't know where I want to go. He said that he loved me, Kouga. But he didn't mean it, did he?”

 

Kouga could barely make out the muffled words. It seemed as though Inuyasha had started rambling and Kouga wasn't sure how to deal with aimless babbling.

 

“I can't speak for him. But I'd like to give him a piece of my mind. Come on. Let's get you out of here.” Kouga's chest was tight with his anxiousness to get Inuyasha away from a potential confrontation with Sesshoumaru. If it weren't for Shippou, he would simply jump out the window with the hanyou in his arms and not stop running until they were far, far away. And screw what Inuyasha had to say about it.

 

“I need to clean up first,” Inuyasha muttered. A bitter chuckle leaked past his lips. “I'll never be clean enough for him.”

 

Pain burrowed into Kouga's chest. He had never been subjected to the loathing of everyone around him and couldn't imagine what it could do to a person. A hanyou was a reject, not worthy of the dust beneath someone's feet. Or so it was in the current social structure. No one should be treated that way. Especially Inuyasha. He had a heart of gold to match his brilliant eyes, was stronger than any demon Kouga had ever met, and he was easy on the eyes. Not that the latter should make a difference in how someone was treated, but Kouga couldn't fathom how a creature this exotic could be shunned and hated. Sure, he'd teased Inuyasha, but the mutt knew better.

 

“Gods! Shippou! I've gotta find Shippou. What if…” Inuyasha sucked in a deep breath and wanted nothing more than to leap from the bed in order to protect his little ward, even though said kit was often a pain in the ass.

 

“I've seen Shippou. Sesshoumaru hasn't hurt him. I'd go get him for you, but I don't trust that pompous ass not to come back again,” Kouga said, cutting Inuyasha off and trying to ease his anxiety.

 

“Why would he? He obviously doesn't intend to kill me again,” Inuyasha chuckled miserably. “I'm not even worth killing.”

 

“Stop talking shit, Inuyasha. Let's get you cleaned up and get the hell outta here,” Kouga said with grim determination as he untangled himself from Inuyasha's hold. The quicker that he could get Inuyasha away from Sesshoumaru, and anything associated with the bastard, the better.

 

“Yeah,” Inuyasha sighed, throwing off the sheet only to find himself as naked as the day he was born.

 

The heat of embarrassment engulfed his face and ears, but he stoically ignored it and slid off the bed. To his surprise, his legs decided they weren't in the mood to cooperate. Fortunately, Kouga caught him before he could crash to the floor.

 

“What the hell!?”

 

“Maybe you've still got some of that poison in you,” Kouga murmured, very aware that he was holding in his arms a very attractive, bare-assed-naked hanyou.

 

`Fuck! Get a hold on yourself, Kouga!' he chastised himself.

 

Kouga sat Inuyasha back on the edge of the bed and grabbed the sheet in order to give Inuyasha some semblance of dignity. Knowing that Inuyasha might make a fuss, he quickly and completely wrapped his devastated friend, so that any struggling would be harmless, before scooping Inuyasha up from the bed and heading to the bathing chambers.

 

“You've got to be kidding me, you wimpy wolf!” Inuyasha fumed. “I'm not helpless, you know.”

 

“Sorry, but I don't wanna wait until you're feeling like walking. You are getting cleaned up now…even if I have to do it myself.” Kouga grinned, highly amused with himself. Perhaps he could distract Inuyasha from thinking about last night's events, at least for a little while.

 

“Like hell you will! Put me down!” Inuyasha scowled, very aware that his strength had been weakened by Sesshoumaru's poison.

 

“How about I throw you in and while you wash yourself, I'll just stick around to make sure you don't drown, stupid,” Kouga smirked, trying for a little levity.

 

“Fine! But if anybody sees this, I'm going to give you the beating of your life!”

 

“Like you could, dog-breath.” Kouga's grin got wider as he prided himself in accomplishing his goal.

 

“You just wait,” Inuyasha growled, turning his face into Kouga's chest so that he wouldn't have to endure the stares of anyone that might happen to observe them. For now, he would allow Kouga to be his shield. He wasn't ready to deal with the world, or Sesshoumaru.

 

Outside, Shippou sat beneath the window, hearing every word. His heart fell. Inuyasha's chance to be happy, his own chance to have a permanent playmate, had been squashed like an ant beneath his feet. Not that he liked squishing ants.

 

`How could Sesshoumaru do that to Inuyasha? I thought he really cared for him. I guess me and Rin were wrong. This sucks! Kouga is right though. We need to leave before something else bad happens.'

 

Shippou scurried off to give Rin the cleaned up version of the bad news. Her human years made her too young to reveal all the sordid details. He knew that she would be as upset as he was, but their feelings on the subject weren't as important as taking care of his adopted father. Sesshoumaru could take care of himself and he hoped that the baka would also continue to take care of Rin.

 

`If he ever hurts Rin, I'll avenge her!'

 

 

~*~

 

 

'He looked like he meant it. Every single word. It was in the gentle touch of his fingers, in the slow caresses of his lips and tongue, in the passionate way he touched me. Why did he do it? I should never have trusted him,' Inuyasha thought grimly as ghostly sensations of Sesshoumaru's touch haunted his flesh. 'He just wanted to teach me a lesson. I'm worthless and any need for me is just for a little amusement. I can't stand it anymore. Saying that he loved me was just his way of being cruel.'

 

“I don't hear any splashing in there,” Kouga called from the other side of the screen.

 

Inuyasha smacked the surface of the water. He wasn't about to give the arrogant wolf the pleasure of a verbal response.

 

'If it weren't for Kouga, I could slide under the water and just drown. Who would care? Really? Sango would eventually get worried and come for Shippou or Kouga would take him. Stupid wolf.'

 

Despair had only just begun working its evil poison on the shriveled spirit of the hanyou. He had set himself up for a fall one too many times. Inuyasha laid his hands in his lap, staring at them and wishing he could just curl up into a ball and die. His only family had just used him then tossed him away like he was nothing. Oh, he was angry, but what could he do except hold it in? The anger certainly couldn't be used to obtain the love he so desperately needed from his last surviving family member. So what was the point? Betrayal after betrayal.

 

It would never happen again. He would see to that.

 

“Hurry up, Inuyasha! Or don't you want to get your scrawny ass out of here?” Kouga was more concerned about Inuyasha's state of mind than he was about Sesshoumaru, and wouldn't have put it past the hanyou to end the miserable existence that he had successfully battled for all of his life. It was one thing to have never experienced the softer emotions, touches, and care of a lover, it was quite another to be given that delicacy then have it ripped away, which had happened to Inuyasha three times now. Kouga wasn't sure that even he could have lived through so much in such a short period of a youkai's long life.

 

Inuyasha didn't really care about anything at this point, but giving up in front of Kouga would hurt what little pride he had left. If he were alone, he could make it look like an accident. No one would be the wiser. He would get his chance…eventually. But first, he would need to get things in order. Shippou needed a home first. That was the least he could do before he went. With that goal in mind, he drew himself from the water, dried hastily, and dressed then opened the door.

 

“Let's get Shippou then we can go,” he told Kouga, staring at the wolf with determination.

 

Kouga was delighted to see that Inuyasha had livened up, but wondered what had made the difference. However, the growl in his stomach put a halt to all other thoughts.

 

“I think we should grab a sack of food before we head out.”

 

“Fine. But don't worry about me though. I'm not hungry.”

 

Kouga studied Inuyasha for a moment then nodded his head. Why should he expect Inuyasha to be able to stomach food? That didn't mean he couldn't pack some for later.

 

~*~

 

 

Finding supplies and rounding up Shippou went rather smoothly. It was getting through the gates that presented a major problem. A very angry Sesshoumaru just happened to be blocking their exit.

 

Inuyasha simply stood, shoulders slumped, head bowed, his bangs covering his face as amber eyes glared at him. Shippou clung to his leg, hiding behind the billowing red fabric of his fire-rat hakama.

 

'What did I ever do to deserve this? Oh. How could I forget? I'm just a filthy hanyou.'

 

Kouga glanced at Inuyasha then turned to narrow his eyes at Sesshoumaru. Inuyasha shouldn't have to deal with this so soon.

 

“Get out of the way, you bastard,” Kouga growled.

 

“This is my home. I shall do as I please, wolf,” Sesshoumaru hissed.

 

Though Sesshoumaru's eyes had a slight pink tint to them, Kouga observed that his face was a shade paler than usual. That oddity was none of his business now. Sesshoumaru's health was the dog's concern.

 

“You can't keep us prisoner and if you don't move your ass, I'll move it for you,” Kouga threatened with as much promise of pain as Sesshoumaru had delivered.

 

“You may try,” Sesshoumaru snarled, leaping forward, claws extended.

 

Kouga dodged the deadly claws, and surprisingly, landed a punch in Sesshoumaru's jaw. 'He's slower than normal. All the better for me.'

 

“I thought you said that I wasn't good enough or powerful enough, to have Inuyasha,” Kouga sneered as Sesshoumaru turned to face him. “Looks like you were wrong. I won.”

 

Inuyasha grimaced. 'They had a bet? So, I'm a piece of property now?'

 

A deep, dark purple fluid drained from Sesshoumaru's right nostril and from his swollen bottom lip.

 

'Demon or not, his blood should be red.' Kouga sniffed the air. ` Naraku! The poison isn't gone. Glad Inuyasha's sense of smell isn't as good as mine. Let the poison kill the bastard. He should suffer for what he's done.' Then it dawned on him. 'That could be what caused him to kill Inuyasha. Fine, Inuyasha never has to know.'

 

A low rumbling growl vibrated the air between the two opponents as Sesshoumaru drew his sword and rushed, not Kouga, but Inuyasha.

 

“Fuck! Inuyasha, move your ass!” Kouga exclaimed, sprinting toward Sesshoumaru.

 

Inuyasha gazed up at the figure rushing toward him. Their eyes met and Sesshoumaru stopped dead in his tracks.

 

“Go ahead, Sesshoumaru. I won't stop you,” Inuyasha muttered as pain gripped his heart.

 

“Inuyasha...,” Sesshoumaru whispered in a sudden moment of clarity. “…forgive me.”

 

“Never,” Inuyasha whispered as he turned, and with heavy steps, walked through the gate, away from his brother, away from the only place that had ever felt like home, leaving Sesshoumaru staring at his back, forlorn.

 

~*~

 

 

Things were looking up. Inuyasha seemed to have purpose. Though Kouga wanted nothing more than to head toward home with Inuyasha in tow, the mutt just had to insist on taking Shippou to Sango and Miroku. Not that he didn't want to get rid of the whining brat, but he needed to get home and he just didn't trust leaving Inuyasha alone. Something about his friend's demeanor sent off warning bells in Kouga's head and settled a heavy weight in his stomach.

 

“How long `til we get there, Inuyasha,” Shippou asked, yawning as he gazed at the waning flames of their campfire.

 

“I already told you ten times, Shippou, tomorrow night,” Inuyasha sighed, rolling his eyes in exasperation. Glancing over at Shippou, he noticed that the fox child had already fallen fast asleep.

 

“So, Inuyasha. What are you going to do once you drop off the kid?” Kouga asked, hoping that his question wouldn't anger the currently reclusive Inuyasha.

 

“Wander around I guess. Got nothing better to do,” Inuyasha replied as he stood, having picked out a nice high branch in which to spend the night.

 

“Why don't you at least come and visit my pack. I've already told them that we're friends now.”

 

“You sure can be a pest. You know that, don't you? It's not like you haven't asked me that several times already.”

 

“I would say persistent.”

 

“That, too.”

 

“What do you say?”

 

“Fine, if it means you'll leave me alone,” Inuyasha sighed, conceding defeat as he leapt into a tree. He'd humor the wolf for a short while.

 

Kouga smiled to himself, certain that he could convince Inuyasha to stay with his pack once they arrived at his den.

 

 

~*~

 

 

Shippou hadn't taken kindly to being left behind by Inuyasha. It took some reasoning from Sango and Miroku to calm the kit. Inuyasha hadn't promised to come back, but allowed Shippou to believe it. He wouldn't lie to boy, but neither could he speak the truth.

 

Of course, Kouga was pleased and anxious to get home, but Inuyasha had been persuaded to at least spend the night with the monk and slayer. It was only one night. Kouga could give his friend that much without argument. After all, Inuyasha had finally agreed to come with him. That was an improvement. Maybe there was hope for the hanyou yet.

 

That hope was put on hold the very next morning. As soon as they had left, Inuyasha had become melancholy and distant. Try as he might, Kouga couldn't snap him out of it.

 

There wasn't anything in particular going through the hanyou's head; random thoughts. He simply observed the forest animals, trees, and the deep blue that the sky was showing off. It would be the last time he would ever travel this path, so he might as well enjoy it.

 

'Too bad I never took the time to really study my world before. I can finally enjoy it. And it's too little too late.'

 

While enjoying the beauty surrounding him, Inuyasha's thoughts took a morbid turn for the worse. His body remembered the touch of Sesshoumaru's hands and the soft caress of his lips. Inuyasha's face fell as he reached up to run the tips of his fingers across his lips; the same lips that had just a couple of nights ago felt the fiery passion that he had believed Sesshoumaru held for him. Finally, after all these long years, his brother had said that he loved him, and Inuyasha had taken it at face value, had believed the lie. How could he have been so naive? How could he have given in so easily?

 

'Now I know why there aren't very many hanyou's. They die from their own stupidity. Maybe Sesshoumaru's attitude was right all along—tainted, ignorant, a stain on his name.'

 

“Are you going to tell me what's wrong, dog turd?” Kouga asked, using one of his favorite insults in the hope of getting some kind of decent response from Inuyasha.

 

“Leave it alone, Kouga. I'll be fine,” Inuyasha muttered.

 

“Well, we'll keep you busy and you won't have time to use that pea brain of yours to think about anything.”

 

“Humph,” Inuyasha's snorted.

 

“Here we are!” Kouga exclaimed as they rounded the last turn on the mountainside. It was good to be home with his own kind, his kin, and all of his friends.

 

Inuyasha looked none too excited.

 

“I like the way the waterfall hides the mouth of my den. Cool, huh?” Kouga commented, anticipating Inuyasha's usual biting response, but was thoroughly disappointed.

 

“It's okay, I guess.”

 

“You're one hard-to-please puppy. Come on!”

 

Inuyasha glared at Kouga. Why did everyone insist on referring to him as a puppy when he was just a hanyou? Not a dog. Not a human. Nothing, nothing at all.

 

Kouga grabbed Inuyasha's hand and dragged him past the guards and through the waterfall.

 

“See? All nice and cozy. The hunting is great, too. There's always something good to eat. At least there is when I'm around,” Kouga declared proudly.

 

Inuyasha just stared at him, his eyes hollow. Kouga wanted to slap him, to do something. With each passing moment, his friend drifted further away and his impatience was taking a turn toward anger.

 

“Damn it, Inuyasha. Just stay here for awhile. I've got some things to take care of and won't be gone long. Take a nap or something,” Kouga bit out, frustrated to no end.

 

He had known that Inuyasha cared for Sesshoumaru, just not to what extent. Now he knew that it ran deeper than he could have ever suspected. The job of fixing Inuyasha was going to take a lot more work than he had imagined. Too bad Kagome wasn't here to `sit' the mutt into oblivion.

 

It was true, the den was cozy, but that wasn't what had interested Inuyasha. There was a very nice, very tempting cliff above those waterfalls. All he had to do was slip past everyone unseen. Inuyasha turned and walked out of the cave with only one thing on his mind.

 

`I haven't been gone that long. Where the fuck did he go?' Kouga fumed as he marched out of the cave.

 

“Hey, Ginta, have you seen Inuyasha?” Kouga called out.

 

“Yeah, he said he was going for a walk.”

 

“Did he say where?”

 

“Um, no.”

 

“How long has he been gone?” Kouga asked, unaware that he was beginning to sound worried.

 

“Just a few minutes,” Ginta replied, starting to get a bit nervous because of his leader's obvious frustration.

 

“That's more than enough time,” Kouga mumbled.

 

“For what?”

 

“Nevermind. Get Hakkaku. I want him found, now!” Kouga demanded.

 

“Sure thing, Kouga,” Ginta stammered before speeding away to follow Kouga's orders.

 

“Where the fuck would he go?” Kouga muttered.

 

There wasn't anything in the area that was particularly interesting, nothing that Kouga could pin down, that is, until his eyes traveled up the rocky crags of the cliffs.

 

“Fuck!”

 

The trail up the mountainside definitely had Inuyasha's scent on it. No question about it now.

 

“Hakkaku!” Kouga called to one of his trusted warriors.

 

“What is it, Kouga?”

 

“Go get that hide from the big youkai we killed last week. If you see that idiot hanyou on top of the cliff, I want a bunch of you guys to catch him with it if he falls.”

 

“Eh? Why would Inuyasha fall?”

 

“Don't ask questions! Just do it!” Kouga yelled, not wanting to humiliate Inuyasha with his assumptions.

 

“Whatever you say, Kouga,” Hakkaku huffed at the rough tone Kouga had used.

 

“You'd better do it or I'll have your hide,” Kouga called back as he sped up the trail, scowling at the trouble Inuyasha was causing.

 

Inuyasha stood on the edge of the cliff, his golden gaze studying the ground far below. His long, white mane billowed in the winds that were forever present at this high altitude. The calm peace that accompanies staring into the face of death and accepting it warmed his heart, body, and mind. Soon…soon, he would be put out of his misery; and out of everyone else's as well. The very thought of Sesshoumaru's wrath interrupted his serenity.

 

`Well, the bastard will get his wish. He'll never find anyone that'll give him the fight I did. Let him suck on that!' Inuyasha thought, not realizing the depth of anger that raged beneath the surface. Anger meant that he cared about something, and he didn't. He refused.

 

He should never have been born. And though he had, he should have never lived past infancy. The fact that he had was an unwanted miracle, or more like a cruel twist of fate. A faint smile crossed his lips as he took in a deep, satisfying breath. Now he could enjoy the scent of the woods, the mountain air, and the expansive view of his surroundings. Kouga had chosen this place well. It was beautiful.

 

A good place to die.

 

“What the hell do you think you're doing, mutt!?” Kouga yelled as he came over the rise to the plateau.

 

“Nothin',” Inuyasha replied with a smile. “Just enjoying the view.”

 

“Yeah, right! I know what you're doing up here and don't even think about it.”

 

Inuyasha's peaceful smile was unnerving and prompted Kouga to stride toward him. Fear spiked through Kouga's chest when Inuyasha turned his gaze back out over the cliff. Running forward, Kouga grabbed Inuyasha's left arm and yanked him away from the cliff's edge with such force that they both tumbled to the ground.

 

“Stupid baka,” Kouga panted from underneath Inuyasha.

 

“Keh,” Inuyasha retorted as he rolled to the side and started to stand.

 

“Oh no you don't.”

 

Kouga sat up and trapped Inuyasha in his arms.

 

“What am I going to do with you, Inuyasha,” Kouga whispered as he rested his cheek on Inuyasha's back.

 

Silence filled the air as Kouga clutched his friend. Inuyasha simply waited, not thinking anything in particular, not feeling anything either. It was quite pleasant.

 

`Why don't the living choose to see the world this way?' he wondered. Sesshoumaru spent an inordinate amount of time just roaming around, sometimes just staring at the sky in utter silence. `Is this what he feels? As if any moment could be his last and he just isn't scared?'

 

“You have to stop this, Inuyasha. I'm here for you. Don't you think I care about what happens to you? Please. Let me help you,” Kouga murmured softly.

 

Inuyasha felt as though he should respond, but didn't feel up to the task. What could he say? There were no words left. Kouga had no right to make his decisions for him anyway. And it wasn't like his death would have any lasting effect on anything or anyone, even Kouga. In the end, all he could do was sigh. All of his will to fight had vanished in a puff of green smoke. Now that the search for the jewel shards and his job of protecting Kagome was over, no one really needed him. He had no debts to repay. There was absolutely nothing whatsoever binding him to this world.

 

“Inuyasha…Sesshoumaru is not worth your life,” Kouga murmured, knowing the cause of Inuyasha's condition. It had to be faced and dealt with.

 

“Neither am I,” Inuyasha ground out without even thinking. No one would have control over him or tell him what to do, think, or feel. He was free now. Kouga just needed to shut the fuck up. Still, he shouldn't have said that even that much. Kouga whipped Inuyasha around, grabbing him by his hair.

 

“You listen to me, mutt. I'm tired of your attitude. There are people who believe you are worth a whole hell of a lot. Sango and Miroku would give their lives protecting you and they expect the same in return. All of our lives are entwined with the thread of our experiences. You are a part of our lives and it's selfish of you to just take that away from us for no damn good reason,” Kouga swore.

 

Inuyasha dropped his gaze. Kouga just didn't understand. He just couldn't live with the rejection anymore. Who would reject him next? It just couldn't happen again. He wouldn't be able to handle it and he had to at least try to set Kouga straight.

 

“It doesn't matter, Kouga! You might want to see me alive right now, but what about tomorrow? Or the next day? Sango and Miroku have their own lives. Me being around them will just bring them trouble. No one. Wants. A Hanyou! Get over it! Nobody needs me around!”

 

“That's a lie. I need you,” Kouga murmured before crashing his lips against Inuyasha's.

 

It was so good to feel wanted and for a moment he gave in to the warmth, parting his lips in an unconscious entreaty for comfort. Kouga did not hesitate, yet he softened his advance as he carefully slipped his tongue into Inuyasha's mouth. Gently caressing Inuyasha's tongue, he tried to coax his friend to respond and was pleasantly rewarded with a barest hint of a moan. It was short-lived though.

 

Inuyasha stiffened then shoved him away, the rush of his memories of Sesshoumaru's kisses bringing him back to reality.

 

“Lies, Kouga. It's all lies,” Inuyasha said flatly as he jumped out of Kouga's grasp. “Even my own feelings lie to me. Never again.”

 

With that said, Inuyasha turned and sprinted toward the edge of the cliff. Kouga barely made it to his feet before Inuyasha sailed into the air and disappeared in a swan dive.

 

“Stupid, fucking mutt,” he muttered under his breath as he headed back down the path. “They had better catch him or I'll skin them alive.”

 

The air ripping through Inuyasha's hair was a rush not unlike what he experienced when he leapt above the tree tops. But this time he wasn't searching, wasn't on his way to a battle, had nothing to fight for or against. There was no one's life at stake. Nothing to worry about. For the first time in his life, he felt clean, purged of the ugliness of his heritage. The opinions of others were of no consequence now. He was finally free of all constraints. And everyone else that was disgusted by his very existence was free of him.

 

“Here he comes, guys. A little to the left.” The sound of fifteen pairs of shuffling feet echoed around the den. “Too far! Back to the right!” Hakkaku ordered as the red clad figure plummeted head first toward the ground. “Do I have to do everything myself! There you go. That's got it.”

 

Just in time, too. At least fifteen of Kouga's men stretched the leather hide to its limits. When Inuyasha crashed down, it took all of their strength to prevent the edges from slipping through their grasp. A resounding thud let them know that his velocity had stretched the leather so far that he had actually hit dirt.

 

“Shit! Kouga will have our heads if he's dead,” Hakkaku complained as they lowered the newly warped hide to the ground.

 

There was no movement from Inuyasha, nothing to signal that he was alive. Ginta crept over to him on hands and knees. Brushing Inuyasha's hair from his neck, Ginta inspected it for a pulse. Finding none, he stuck his finger under Inuyasha's nose.

 

“He's breathing!” Ginta exclaimed.

 

“He damn well better be,” Kouga growled as he sped up from behind.

 

“What happened? Did you two have a fight or something?” Ginta asked.

 

“None of your damn business. Now, scram! I'll take it from here,” Kouga ordered.

 

“Whatever you say, Kouga,” Hakkaku replied, shrugging his shoulders. If Kouga said it was none of his business, he wasn't going to argue. Something was weird anyway and he didn't want to get involved.

 

Kouga waited until his men had made themselves scarce before kneeling down beside Inuyasha. “You are an idiot as well as a pain in the ass.”

 

Gently lifting Inuyasha into his arms, he made his way to his own chambers and laid Inuyasha on the mound of furs that was his bed. A close inspection revealed a few bumps and bruises. Anymore information would have to wait until Inuyasha stirred and started groaning and complaining.

 

Kouga sighed as he slid down next to Inuyasha, but not so close that he would touch his injured friend. Throughout the day, Kouga watched as Inuyasha's bruises changed their colors from black to purple to green and yellow. For being only half demon, Kouga had to admit that Inuyasha healed quickly. A low rumbling in Kouga's belly told him that it was time for a meal. He made sure that Inuyasha was still out before leaving his chambers.

 

`Maybe he'll wake up if he smells food,' Kouga thought, deciding that he would bring something back for Inuyasha.

 

As it turned out, the food wasn't necessary. He found Inuyasha sitting back against the wall with his head down and his untamed bangs covering his eyes.

 

“Why? Why couldn't you just let me die?” Inuyasha whispered as Kouga entered the room.

 

Kouga sighed and shook his head as he set the bowl on the floor and lowered himself to sit in front of Inuyasha.

 

“If you don't know, how am I supposed to explain it to you? It's like trying to explain the scent of sakura blossoms to a man with no nose.” Kouga knew that Inuyasha's keenest sense was smell, and consequently, that the analogy might have more of an impact than any other.

 

When Inuyasha didn't respond, Kouga brushed the bangs away from Inuyasha's face. Tears were streaking down Inuyasha's cheeks. Silent weeping, something only for the deepest sorrow. There was simply no reasoning with someone experiencing such heart-wrenching pain. Kouga did the only thing he had at his disposal. He pulled Inuyasha into his lap and was surprised that Inuyasha didn't struggle against him. There weren't even any sounds to signify the pain of moving with such injuries, though Kouga knew it had to be there. Inuyasha seemed like a living corpse. Kouga swallowed past the lump in his throat. He felt helpless in his efforts to console Inuyasha.

 

Inuyasha allowed himself to be held. Let Kouga do whatever he wanted. He didn't belong to himself anymore. If someone else could deny him death, he didn't even deserve that solace. He allowed his body to sink into Kouga's warm embrace. That's all it was, an empty body. He imagined being free of it, watching everything from a distance, being able to travel without the shackles of the flesh. Kouga had effectively closed off that avenue of escape. At least, for the moment.

 

“I'll put a twenty-four hour guard on you if that's what it takes to keep you alive until you can cope with all of this. I know you love Sesshoumaru and I also know that I can't change it. What's important is that I'm here and he is not. I'm not going to reject you or hurt you,” Kouga murmured softly as he buried his nose in Inuyasha's hair.

 

`Lies, all lies,' Inuyasha's mind mocked. `Shut up, Kouga.'

 

“And I'm not going to leave you alone until you work through this. So deal with it, mutt face.”

 

“Damn you, Kouga,” Inuyasha rasped through the salty fluid collecting in the back of his throat.

 

“You don't make that decision. Let's not change the subject. You've buried all the shit you feel because you don't want to think about it anymore. You made a decision on how you are going to handle it and now your only purpose is to die. I've seen it with women who have been raped, men who have lost their mates, children who have lost their parents. They hold in their anger and pain until it rots them from the inside out. You have to hear the thoughts, say the words, and express the anger. And in order to do all that, you're going to have to feel the pain.”

 

He must have struck a chord.

 

“I don't want to. I just want it all to go away,” Inuyasha muttered.

 

“That's not happenin', my friend. What would you say to Sesshoumaru if you could?”

 

“Just leave me alone.”

 

“No. What would you say if Sesshoumaru was sitting right here,” Kouga plowed on.

 

“There's too much to say…nothing to say.”

 

“Why nothing and too much at the same time, Inuyasha?”

 

“After what he did, he doesn't deserve to hear anything from me. He wouldn't care anyway.”

 

“Now we're getting somewhere. Anger,” Kouga said with some relief. At least he had Inuyasha talking. With one tiny step at a time he would root out the hatred and anger that Inuyasha had turned inward. Where Inuyasha wanted to dig his claws into Sesshoumaru, he had dug them into himself.

 

“Let me hear what you would say. Pretend I'm Sesshoumaru if you want.”

 

“I….” Inuyasha shook his head. This was too hard. He just wanted to scream. Kouga was delving too deep, opening what he had locked away.

 

“Okay then. I'll help get you started. “'You betrayed me, Sesshoumaru, and I'll never forgive you.' How's that for starters?”

 

The feel of Inuyasha's thumb rubbing circles over the back of Kouga's hand gave him hope. Perhaps Inuyasha was thinking of playing along with him. It wasn't lost on him that Inuyasha had no idea what he was doing. It was pleasant, nonetheless.

 

“I hate you,” Inuyasha whispered.

 

“Me or Sesshoumaru?”

 

“Sesshoumaru.”

 

“Good. Let's play. `I, Sesshoumaru, care not for your feelings, hanyou.' How's that?”

 

Inuyasha twisted slowly to gaze into Kouga's eyes. If he hadn't known any better, he would have believed that Sesshoumaru was right behind him. But he had to look. He had to be sure. Kouga's impersonation was almost perfect. Too perfect. Inuyasha narrowed his eyes and fought against the vision of a faint overlay of Sesshoumaru's features on Kouga's face.

 

“You betrayed me, Sesshoumaru. You let me hope, let me…love you. Why? That's all I want to know,” Inuyasha muttered.

 

“Why should I tell you, a filthy hanyou, tainted by human blood?” Kouga spat, but carefully observed Inuyasha as the words fell from his lips. Despite his attention to Inuyasha, he didn't see the blow coming.

 

“You bastard!” Inuyasha snarled as the palm of his hand made contact with Kouga's cheek before he hopped out of Kouga's lap.

 

`Okay. That hurt.'

 

Under any other circumstances, Kouga would have kicked Inuyasha's ass, but right now there was fire in his friend's eyes. The spark was fragile and he wasn't about to dowse that flicker of life. Inuyasha was cooperating and Kouga fought to come up with another line in order to keep Inuyasha outside of his shell, to keep him alive. He rubbed his cheek, trying to buy time.

 

Inuyasha sat on his knees, breathing hard and glaring at Kouga. The person sitting across from him wasn't Sesshoumaru, but he didn't care. The anger inside of him wanted an outlet and Kouga was a willing target.

 

“You fucking betrayed me. I want answers, damn it!”

 

Okay, this was going to be a hard one. How do you get into the head of the stone cold Lord of the West? Maybe it would be easier to get inside Inuyasha's head, say what it was that Inuyasha expected.

 

“Watching you suffer is much more gratifying than watching you die. Your mother is no longer alive to pay for father's death. You, on the other hand, owe me a life. He died protecting her and you. You have a debt to pay and I will see to it that you do,” Kouga stated using that flat monotone, `I couldn't give a shit', voice that was the epitome of a scathing dismissal.

 

Silence filled the room as Inuyasha glowered at Kouga.

 

“You have no right,” Inuyasha ground out through his teeth. “He was my father too, you asshole!” Inuyasha yelled, lunging at Kouga.

 

`So he wants a fight. I can do that,' Kouga thought as he dodged Inuyasha. Claws raked across his thigh, piercing his skin.

 

`Now that just wasn't a very nice thing to do.' He scowled at the blood flowing down his leg, but it was lost in surprise as he looked back up to see Inuyasha's eyes filling with blood. “Oh, no you don't. You're not going on a killing spree in my pack. Calm the fuck down.”

 

The answer he got was no more than a quiet, growling snarl. So as not to prompt any violence from Inuyasha, Kouga very slowly and very carefully rose to his feet. The volume of Inuyasha's growling increased, prompting Kouga to freeze on the spot.

 

“It's me, Inuyasha, Kouga, your friend. You don't want to hurt me, okay?” He didn't want to say that he wasn't Sesshoumaru. The name itself might set off the half-crazed demon inside of Inuyasha. There had to be some way to get through to the hanyou's mind. Six feet away, jagged lavender stripes appeared on Inuyasha's cheeks.

 

`Fuck. How am I going to get him under control? The food! Inuyasha could never turn down a meal before. That might work, if I can get to it.'

 

The bowl sat on the floor at least four feet to the side and two feet behind Kouga. One small step backward and Inuyasha twitched. A step to the side and Inuyasha drew up his shoulders, accenting the threat with a snarl. Another step back and Inuyasha cracked his knuckles.

 

“Oh, fuck this, you mangy mutt,” Kouga huffed in frustration.

 

Kouga took one long step to the bowl and scooped it up. When he stood, Inuyasha was nose to nose with him. Not wasting the opportunity, he shoved the bowl up under Inuyasha's nose without breaking their stare. The scowl melted from Inuyasha's face as he sniffed at the new odor.

 

“Gross.” It sounded as though Inuyasha was gargling stones.

 

Before Kouga knew what had happened, the contents of the bowl were splattered against the far wall and he was flat on his back, staring up at very sharp claws on a downswing, heading straight for his neck.

 

`The food couldn't have been that bad,' he thought while rolling to pin Inuyasha to the fur-covered floor.

 

“Hey, dog turd! It's me, Kouga. See? Smell!” He took the risk of getting his throat torn out by lowering his face to Inuyasha's. “Take a good whiff, my friend,” he murmured, rubbing his cheek against Inuyasha's nose, all the while feeling the vibrations of Inuyasha's growls.

 

Deep down, the mutt had to know who he was; otherwise there would be a lot of blood covering the walls. He was surprised when a long wet tongue glided up the side of his face.

 

“Well, now, that's more like it!” Kouga grinned as he began to rise up.

 

He didn't get very far. Inuyasha grabbed his head and pulled him back down, turning Kouga's head to the side again. Elongated fangs pressed against Kouga's neck as Inuyasha began suckling.

 

`Shit. He could take out a chunk before I could do anything about it.'

 

The erotic play of demon Inuyasha's now rough tongue skating up his neck quickly shut down all of Kouga's thought processes. Heat pooled in his belly and flowed straight into his groin.

 

“Inuyasha,” Kouga moaned. “What are you doing?”

 

The only response was a deep rumble in Inuyasha's chest. Not wanting at all to lose the delightful sensation, Kouga didn't move to get away. Instead, he shoved his hips and thighs down along the length of Inuyasha's body when Inuyasha let go of his head. The hard bulge resting on Inuyasha's abdomen let Kouga know that this was no game. Inuyasha wanted him. At least, demon Inuyasha did.

 

`That's nice to know. I can turn violence to sex. I'll have to remember that. But it's too soon. He's not ready for it.'

 

Inuyasha rolled to switch their position and ground himself into Kouga's groin. Having his neck chewed, and some very long-assed fangs scraping his skin, was more scary than arousing. Thinking that Inuyasha might be in there somewhere, Kouga decided to try and put a halt to this particular activity.

 

“Stop that, Inuyasha. You're gonna hurt me. I'm Kouga, friend, okay?” Kouga breathed a sigh of relief as Inuyasha's tongue traveled up his neck and jaw then swirled around his ear. “You better stop this, mutt, because I won't be held responsible for my actions if you keep teasing me.”

 

A low rumble vibrated Kouga's chest when Inuyasha growled into his ear. Inuyasha ground his hips into Kouga, pressing the wolf into the floor again. When that hot, wet mouth suckled the tip of his pointy ear, all the oxygen in Kouga's body was replaced with fire. Inuyasha's hand seared a hot, sizzling trail up Kouga's thigh then slid under his fur wrap and began the slow process of turning Kouga's brain into a puddle of mush. Strong, callused fingers wrapped around his hardening cock and stroked it to complete stiffness. The situation had reached a point where it no longer mattered that this was too soon for Inuyasha.

 

“Gods, Inuyasha!” Kouga choked out, his throat constricting with desire.

 

It wasn't pain that sparked little flames all over Kouga's skin when Inuyasha's claws scraped his outer thigh. Inuyasha lifted his head and stared at Kouga before taking Kouga in a soul-rending passionate kiss. Everything burned; his skin, his muscles, the tips of his ears, and his very hard and painfully aching cock. As Kouga lifted his hips and rocked in time with Inuyasha, trying to assuage that burning desire, it was difficult to remember that this was not the best thing for Inuyasha right now. Kouga's body was screaming for the pleasure that led to mind blowing release.

 

Clothes flew across the room and before Kouga had had time to protest, he was completely nude and Inuyasha was ripping off his own clothing.

 

“You're not ready for this,” Kouga panted half-heartedly.

 

Seeing Inuyasha in all his naked glory did nothing to help Kouga's resolve. The flicking of Inuyasha's ears was just as fascinating and Kouga forgot himself for a moment while his eyes roamed down the expanse of the corded muscles of Inuyasha's chest to the well defined lines of his abdomen. There, standing at attention, Kouga's eyes met one very thick, long, and dripping, angry cock.

 

He groaned at his luck. Inuyasha wanted him, but he didn't want it this way. The hanyou had no idea what the demon inside of him was doing and it wouldn't be right for Kouga to take advantage. At the same time, it might be dangerous to refuse the demon. He couldn't very well let his throat get ripped out just because he didn't want to hurt a friend. Sex would be a better alternative. That excuse might work. Yeah.

 

Crimson eyes narrowed, warning Kouga not to try to get away. At the moment, Kouga was too absorbed in the vision before him to be scared. The power exuded in Inuyasha's every move was seductive and tempting in every way. The tips of his fingers itched to touch that glistening skin. So much power lay beneath it. And, oh, Inuyasha's nipples were raised and hard. Kouga longed to take them into his mouth and suckle them until he had Inuyasha writhing and begging for release.

 

Kouga's lusty day dreaming came to an end when Inuyasha fell forward onto his hands, his long white mane sliding down to create a curtain around them. Kouga thought he was about to be kissed and was a bit disappointed when Inuyasha slithered away. Nevertheless, what he got was much better than a kiss. His eyes nearly crossed when he felt a slick, wet tongue glide up his shaft from base to tip, where it paused to swirl and flick through the slit before sliding back down to taste between the wolf's thighs. The sensation of Inuyasha's tongue lathing his balls nearly sent him over the edge. His entire body trembled with the desire to be sated. When the tip of his shaft was suddenly engulfed in wet heat, the sparks of need forced him to cry out and his hips involuntarily snapped up from the furs.

 

“Fangs…Watch the fangs,” he gasped as pinpricks scraped his sensitive skin.

 

Inuyasha growled as he dropped his mouth down and around Kouga's shaft. Being swallowed in one smooth move was an exquisite torture that Kouga hoped wouldn't end anytime soon. Then again, he wanted to come, badly.

 

“Fuck!”

 

Another growl vibrated through his cock and he thought he was going to come right then and there. In his efforts to distract himself, he reached down and dug his fingers into Inuyasha's hair just behind the ears. This time, there was no growl, instead Inuyasha moaned when Kouga dug his claws deep into the thick mass of hair and began to massage.

 

Then, Inuyasha's tongue did the most wonderful thing. It applied pressure, traveling to and fro, and up and down against Kouga's engorged shaft while Inuyasha lifted his head then dove back down. Kouga's abdomen jerked when Inuyasha did it again. Each time that hot mouth engulfed his overly sensitive shaft, Kouga's muscles tensed further, his hips frozen at an upward slant, his claws forced to finally relinquish their hold on Inuyasha's hair in order to dig into the furs. His entire body was burning with the strain of his locked muscles.

 

“Inuyasha, enough. You have to stop,” Kouga whined and panted. Inuyasha dove down again, wringing a gasp from Kouga's throat. “I'm gonna come if you don't quit!”

 

Kouga looked down and nearly lost it from the erotic sight of Inuyasha's mouth surrounding his cock while questioning crimson eyes gazed back at him. This wasn't an improvement. Perhaps hand motions would be better understood? Kouga reached his hand out toward Inuyasha and waved him to come forward.

 

Inuyasha just stared at the hand for a moment before releasing him. If it weren't for the feral grin that spread across Inuyasha's face and the slow stalk on all fours, Kouga would have been relieved. Now he was downright nervous. Maybe he had only succeeded in pissing off the demon.

 

Inuyasha's bangs clung to his face, dampened by a sheen of sweat. His sleek form glistening as his chest heaved while gazed down at flushed, bronzed cheeks and steely blue eyes. Kouga's long raven hair had loosened in their struggles and fanned out around his broad, tanned shoulders. This being was familiar to Inuyasha, but unknown in his demon induced amnesia. The only thing that Inuyasha knew was that he had to fuck Kouga, or vice versa. It wasn't just physical either. He needed a cleansing, and bonding with this creature might accomplish that task. Or so he felt. Feeling was all he had, his mind being overwhelmed with the unthinking beast within. While examining the wolf, a moment of the barest lucidity briefly assaulted him.

 

“Ko…ga,” he growled low and guttural.

 

“That's right, Kouga,” the creature panted.

 

The sound of Kouga's voice set the demon back in motion and he slid his body along the line of Kouga's. Feeling their hardened arousals slide along one another, Inuyasha groaned and sped up the motion of his hips. He was pleased when the blue-eyed creature below him responded and he showed it by taking Kouga in another searing kiss. The hunger for the taste of Kouga's lips and mouth drove Inuyasha to grunts and growls and his grinding became more insistent. He explored the depths of Kouga's eager mouth and thoroughly plundered the richness held therein. It wasn't enough to sate the hunger that continued to grow within his body. Tearing his mouth away with a frustrated roar, Inuyasha ground his hips into Kouga harder and faster. Still, it wasn't enough. Folding his legs on either side of Kouga's body, Inuyasha rose, wringing a gasp from the wolf's throat with the tantalizing grinding of his thighs that brought their velvety sacs to brush against one another.

 

Kouga was certain he was about to get it, and hard. Anything for Inuyasha though. He didn't want to lose his friend and that was more important than anything—short of dying. He wouldn't go quite that far, but, if this was what Inuyasha needed, it was no big deal, provided he could still walk come morning. What Kouga didn't know was that he had no reason to worry, no reason to steel himself for what was about to happen.

 

Inuyasha lightly ran his fingers up and down Kouga's shaft, seemingly fascinated by the fact that he could cause it to jump. That was just fine by Kouga. He closed his eyes, enjoying the tender caresses, but was soon startled when Inuyasha wrapped dangerously clawed fingers around his shaft and squeezed hard enough that it was nearly painful. Kouga's eyes flew open and he looked down to find the demon positioning himself to take Kouga inside the depths of his body. The concentration in the crimson eyes belied the fact that Inuyasha's ability to reason logically had been suppressed by his demon blood, and Kouga couldn't quite fathom what was going through Inuyasha's mind, or whatever it was the demon had for brains at the moment.

 

There had been no preparation whatsoever and Inuyasha didn't seem to care as he placed the tip of Kouga's cock against the tight ring guarding the heated core of his body. All Inuyasha wanted was to be filled, to reach that precipice that lead to a spiral of mind altering ecstasy, and especially to experience it with the creature beneath him. It wasn't something he understood, simply an instinct. There was a safety in the cerulean blue eyes, a sense of calm. Perhaps it would purge this filthy darkness plaguing his soul.

 

`Will it be painful for him? How will he react to the pain?' Kouga wondered.

 

But his thoughts were blown away when Inuyasha lowered himself, completely sheathing Kouga's cock inside the tight, warm confines of his body. Both groaned; Inuyasha with the discomfort of the intrusion and Kouga with the sensation of being squeezed in such heat to the almost unbearable limit of his sanity. He dug his claws into the furs to prevent himself from moving. This was Inuyasha's show and he wanted to be careful not to somehow ruin it for his friend. Oh, but the pleasure made that almost impossible.

 

Inuyasha grabbed Kouga's hands and brought them to his throbbing erection where he wound Kouga's fingers around his length. Kouga watched as Inuyasha threw his head back and growled. Inuyasha thrust into the tunnel made of Kouga's fingers while pulling himself up Kouga's shaft.

 

“Gods, Inuyasha!” Kouga blurted out; exhaling the breath he hadn't been aware he'd been holding.

 

In a swirl of white hair, Inuyasha threw his head forward, growled again, and began thrusting while pinning Kouga's hips to the furry floor with his long clawed fingers. Muscles bunched in Inuyasha's chest and abdomen as he worked to bring himself to the pinnacle of passion. His body needed the burn of working his muscles. The combination of riding Kouga, feeling himself filled over and over, and the sensation of friction from Kouga's rough hands were slowly winding him up.

 

Desiring more room to move, more of that filling sensation, Inuyasha let go of Kouga's hips and braced himself with his hands on Kouga's chest, for which Kouga was absolutely thrilled. Now he could enjoy the freedom of motion required to match Inuyasha, thrust for thrust.

 

The crimson eyes of the demon above Kouga were barely open. Lust had tinged Inuyasha's face and ears a lovely shade of crimson and had swollen his parted lips with the blood of passion. It was the most beautiful and arousing sight that Kouga had ever witnessed. He wanted to watch Inuyasha take that leap into the oblivion of nothing but intense sensation. However, it was difficult to keep open his own lust-glazed eyes while he thrust upward into Inuyasha's tight heat. The sensation of gliding through that tight ring and feeling Inuyasha's walls sliding along his sensitive flesh was building the all-consuming fire within him. With each thrust, his body tensed more in anticipation.

 

Kouga increased the power and speed of his fist's strokes along Inuyasha's cock. The copious quantity of precum provided more than ample lubricant. Each time his fingers brushed over the source of the slick juices, he spread it along Inuyasha's length. Inuyasha's cock was now wet and easily pumped through his fists. The feel of that heavy meat reacting to his touch was amazing. With each throb, satisfaction swelled within Kouga's chest and was experienced by his own erection.

 

Blood rushed through Inuyasha's veins and Kouga could feel it through the tightening of the skin. Inuyasha was close. Each time they pounded into one another, Inuyasha's hair bounced with the force. And each time, the hair flailed farther, tickling Kouga's nipples and neck. Goosebumps broke out across his skin and his movements became more erratic. He needed more friction against his cock, more heat to push him closer to the edge.

 

“Fuck, Inuyasha! Faster!”

 

Inuyasha couldn't understand the meaning of the words themselves, but got the drift and began to slam himself down onto Kouga, impaling himself deep and hard. As the edges of Kouga's vision began to blur, he pulled one hand from Inuyasha's cock and dug his claws into Inuyasha's shoulder. He was rewarded with a howl from the demon beast. He felt Inuyasha's body tense and jerk. When Inuyasha brought his face back down, he stared into Kouga's eyes as a nearly pained expression gripped him. Then his jaws unclenched and fell open. He let out a gasp, and his eyes rolled back into his head as his facial muscles went lax. Kouga thrust upward and held the position in order to give Inuyasha whatever support was necessary.

 

With the first jolt of Inuyasha's body, Kouga felt the creamy substance of Inuyasha's release shoot across his fingers to splash onto his abdomen. Inuyasha's walls clamped down around his aching shaft. Involuntarily, he pulled back and thrust again. Inuyasha's body jerked again, his ears flattening against his head as he grunted and another spurt of his cum streaked Kouga's belly. With Inuyasha's walls undulating around him, Kouga could no longer keep his eyes focused on the vision of passionate release above him.

 

Another thrust sent him over the edge, his body shuddering then convulsing, his neck arching while his seed rushed out to coat Inuyasha's inner walls. He heard a howl and didn't care that it was his, wasn't sure he had even heard it as the blaring sound of blood racing through his veins deafened him. Sight, smell, and sound took a backseat to the fiery blood rushing through his veins and swollen skin. He thrust into that heat again, the grip of Inuyasha's tight ring sending another rushing wave of release through him. And he continued shoving himself into Inuyasha until the sensation became nearly painful when his last seed was spent.

 

Somewhere through it all, Inuyasha had collapsed on top of him. Both were a heaving mass of weak limbs and aching muscles. Kouga licked his parched lips and swallowed to wet his dry throat. His hands made their way around Inuyasha's waist, holding him then tenderly and stroking his skin in lazy circles. The scent of sex and blood permeated the room, but Kouga found it pleasant. Closing his eyes, he wondered what Inuyasha's reaction would be when the demonic possession gave up its hold over him. He ran his claws through Inuyasha's hair then scratched behind the left ear.

 

“Mmmm,” Inuyasha moaned then sighed.

 

Kouga smiled. `So far, so good.'

 

A groan, then a gasp.

 

`Definitely, not good.'

 

“Kouga?” Inuyasha asked, struggling to raise himself. Then he felt it, inside of him. “What…what happened?”

 

“It's alright. You're alright and so am I,” Kouga quickly tried to assure him. “Your demon just decided it needed release. Don't worry. Everything is okay.”

 

“I'm a fucking whore,” Inuyasha groaned as he rolled off of Kouga and grunted with the discomfort of Kouga's softening member slipping from his body.

 

“No, you're not, Inuyasha. You just needed someone to love you, if just for a little while.”

 

Inuyasha snorted. “There's no such thing as love.”

 

“If that's what you believe, fine. You needed something from someone and it just happened to be me that you were stuck with,” Kouga said, rolling away from Inuyasha to rest on his side, staring at the wall as his heart clenched. He knew that what they had just done was purely lust, but he still had feelings for Inuyasha, regardless of the fact that they were nowhere near as strong as Inuyasha's feelings for Sesshoumaru. Just how much would he have to give for the stupid dog to accept him?

 

Inuyasha could hear the sound of Kouga's pain at his rejection. He hadn't meant to hurt Kouga. For the first time in days, he felt as though he actually cared about something.

 

“I…I'm sorry.”

 

“It's alright. You're confused,” Kouga stated simply then closed his eyes. He understood, but that didn't make it any less painful. It could have been worse.

 

“Thank you…for being here for me, Kouga,” Inuyasha said softly, hoping to soften the blow of his careless words.

 

“No prob, mutt face,” Kouga said with a slight quirk of his lips.

 

The endearing term, once meant to piss him off, brought a smile to Inuyasha's lips. What could it hurt to take a little comfort in Kouga's willingness to be there for him? Inuyasha rolled over and snuggled up to Kouga's back, snaking his arm around Kouga's waist.

 

And that's how they spent the night, occasionally changing positions, but always wrapped in each other's embrace.

 

 

 

~*~*~*~*~*~

 

 

Thank you for reading and reviewing.

I Lurv You All

(I like to get to know my readers and reviewers, so, if you have the time and inclination, it would be nice if you had something written in your profile, even if you aren't an author. Thanks bunches. ^_^ )

 

 

 

Reviewer Responses

 

MM.ORG

 

Nikkie23534

Thank you so much for continuing to be a regular reviewer, even in this second posting. I appreciate it a lot. Knowing how the edit is turning out helps a lot. I'm so glad that the emotional side came through. It was something I strove for. Thanks so much for commenting on it. Also, being without a beta makes your scoring all the more significant. Thank you so much. ^_^

 

Loretta537

Nope, it's not over yet, not by half! Thanks for the review! ^_^

 

wbk

Squee! The descriptive words you used in your review were powerful and gave me a sense of accomplishment. I worked really hard on the edit and didn't have a beta, so the scores hold a lot of importance. It is wonderful to be able to move readers. I guess, that's the true joy of writing. Thank you so much for confirming that the chapter touched you. ^_^

 

InuGrrrl

Thanks so much for popping in. Your support is mucho appreciated. It would be wonderful to get your input again. I've put a lot of work into making the flow better and adding description. I'm also going over the chapters several times to catch errors because I don't have a beta. You would probably catch the difference more than anyone else. So...please?

 

Rethira

The story is a long way from over. You're right. Sess really can't kill Inu like that. There's a lot more to what is happening than meets the eye. ^_^ Thanks for reviewing!

 

 

~Previous reviews; sorry for losing them~

 

MM.ORG

 

CrimsonInHumanBlood

XOMagickMoonOX

evilvixen

 

 

AFF

 

loke

Lady Gray

Huong

Kyou

Butterfly

rin136

Princess Sin

Mcdgoddess

YoukaiObsessed

Kogas Hentai Luver

TheGaffler

Bitterchoco20

Akitso

Sa-chan

Rawben

 

 

 

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*Disclaimer*

 

Inuyasha and all associated characters are owned by Rumiko Takahashi, Shogakukan, Yomiuri TV, Sunrise, and Viz. I make no profit from this story, nor do I intend to. My only goal is to occupy my demented mind with delusions of actually owning a life-sized, anatomically correct Sesshoumaru.

 

 

 

 

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