InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ True Companion ❯ Understanding ( Chapter 7 )
Disclaimer: ::runs from police:: "I really DO own them!"
"No you don’t! Get back here!"
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As water surged into her lungs Rin’s body jerked and flailed in the lake, struggling to reach the surface, but her hands remained firmly trapped beneath her bindings. Her body refused the liquid and purged her of it only to bring in more in its next attempt to find air. She screamed and cried beneath the waves her convulsions made. It was painful, a mix of the most severe pressure her body had ever felt and the pure need to relieve it, but she didn’t care. It was her punishment. Punishment for her weakness. Punishment for disgracing Sesshoumaru.
As the cold elixir of death tore at the soft tissues inside her body Rin felt her muscles weaken. Her limbs slowed their movements and the water’s force began pulling her to the lake floor. Rin’s legs shifted the lifeless earth beneath her, creating a small grave for her body to rest in. Rin smiled that weak, melancholy smile again, letting her eyes close. Beat by beat her heart slowed, each pulse pounding against her ribs in a futile attempt to stay alive. One moment, two beats. One moment, one beat. One moment…
Rin’s eyes flew open as her body was ripped from the watery sanctuary, wrists tearing the false binding from the ground. An arm slid up between her breasts and its palm stretched wide just below her collarbones. Her frail dying form was thrust against the imposing figure holding her, back to chest, as the hand pressed into her torso. Water flew from her mouth with the force place on her and instinctively Rin’s lungs attempted to draw breath again.
Knives tore across her chest as the air pushed the water through the corroded tubes within her forcing more of it out. She was released from the being’s grip and fell to her hands and knees. The death in her lungs was violently shoved out as she seized more precious oxygen. When her flesh finally released itself of the pressure that had plagued her, Rin collapsed to the ground coughing and shivering.
A cloth was placed over her body and when she managed to focus her eyes she saw that it was her kimono. Sesshoumaru knelt over her, a look in his eyes that she had never seen and couldn’t place. "Why, Rin?"
She pulled away from him, struggling to stand on her frail legs, tears following the familiar trail down her face. He moved toward her but she shied away, nearly falling to the ground again. "I cannot…cannot disgrace you anymore."
"Disgrace me?" He approached her again and received the same reaction as before.
"Yes, I disgrace Sesshoumaru-sama with my very presence. I am weak, and useless, and have been tainted. My body is a disgrace! My mind is a disgrace! I have burdened you for so long. I should not have been brought back! I can be nothing but a vile, poisoned creature! You gave me a chance, you got me help and here, now, when I should have used it, when I could have fought back…I did nothing! I let that bastard come near me! I couldn’t stop him! I am a disgrace! I don’t want to defile you anymore!"
Rin turned away from him, but her legs were too weak and she started to fall. Sesshoumaru’s arm wrapped around her shoulders and held her steady, her back to his chest. "You are no disgrace, Rin."
She heard his words but did not contemplate them. "I must be a disgrace. I am weak. I am worthless. I am…marked." She stared at the ground as the last of her words left her lips.
"He is dead. You are free of him."
"No!" Rin no longer thought before she spoke, the words just flowed from her. "His damn mark haunts me! He won! He knows he won! He laughs at me! He laughs every time my body freezes up, every time I’m scared, he laughs!"
Rin was shocked into silence as she felt Sesshoumaru lightly lean his forehead over her wet hair. Her breath froze in her lungs as she tried to understand what he was doing. He had held her before but she had always gone to him, scared or confused. He had never come to her.
"Rin," Sesshoumaru’s voice sounded, tired, "do you hate me?"
"Never! Sesshoumaru-sama is perfect, I could no sooner hate the sun or moon."
He gently shook his head, not moving from her. "I am not perfect. I did not protect you."
"It is not Sesshoumaru-sama’s fault for what happened. You were gone before they took me and the wind was not in my favor. There was no way you could know."
"Tell me, Rin," Sesshoumaru paused as Rin’s body tensed beneath him, "tell me what happened to you."
Terrified, Rin reached up and grasped Sesshoumaru’s arm. She had hoped and prayed that he would never ask her to tell him. "Please, please don’t make me. I don’t want to remember."
His grip on her shoulders tightened slightly. "Rin, answer me. What happened?"
Every part of her wanted to just run from him, run from everything, but she couldn’t disobey him and before she realized it, she was speaking. "They came as I was getting fire wood. I wasn’t even there when…when Ahun was killed. I ran, but, he came after me."
"I was not gone long from there. Are you not angered I did not come?"
"Sesshoumaru-sama is swift. The fault is not yours."
"What happened after they took you?"
Rin took a deep breath and closed her eyes. "He broke my arm when he caught me. He…he would have done more but Haku, the black eyed demon, stopped him and took me to a camp filled with humans. Once we were there Haku told him that he could play with me as long as I didn’t die. He wanted to wait till you arrived."
"What did he do?" Sesshoumaru’s voice was emotionless as always, yet somehow it comforted her slightly.
"He did nothing to me, not that night. I was tied up and he took another woman to kill her." She spoke as if a narrator to a play, slowly gaining a cold tone to story. "He came out afterwards, wiping her blood on me, laughing. Later that night a woman came to me, when the rest of the camp was asleep, and gave me some water. She could have been killed, but she came anyway. Somehow I fell asleep, or maybe I just passed out, I’m not sure."
She stopped, not wanting to remember the events of the following day, but a part of her forced the words from her mouth. "He woke me up by throwing water on me, then he tried to drown me. Ironic now, I suppose."
He lifted his head from hers. "What next?"
"He dragged me into the tent he had killed the woman in. Bones were everywhere and the smell was unbearable. That’s when…that’s when…" Rin couldn’t say it.
"When what?"
"That’s when…he bit me. I didn’t know then what it meant, but now…"
Sesshoumaru’s arm pulled her closer. "Are you angry, now that you know?"
"Only at the one who did it and at myself, no one else is at fault." She waited a moment then continued. "He tortured me then. Beating. Biting. Clawing. If it caused pain he did it, but the woman had told me not to scream. She said he would loss interest quicker if I didn’t scream, so I didn’t. No matter what he did I stayed silent. Sometimes it was so very hard." Rin’s cold tone was fast disappearing as fear crept in.
"It didn’t work quite as well as with the other women though. He got mad when I didn’t scream so he increased the abuse. It hurt so much. I didn’t know what to do, so I…I…I slapped him. It happened so quickly I didn’t even realize what I had done, not till he got up." Tears streamed down her face, falling on Sesshoumaru’s white haori. "He…got up and…he undressed. I moved back, but my arm, and my wounds…"
Rin’s body shook and her fingers clenched his arm. "Were you frightened?"
"I was confused! I hadn’t expected it. I don’t know why I didn’t. I should have, but I wasn’t prepared. I…I didn’t understand! He came at me and pushed me down." Her breathing became erratic as she remembered the scene.
"He raped you then?"
"It hurt…it hurt so very much." Rin saw the demon above her, felt him force through her body. "I couldn’t stop from screaming. I had to scream."
"You screamed for help?"
"Yes! It hurt so much!"
"No one came to save you though."
"I couldn’t stand the pain!"
"I wasn’t there to save you."
Rin felt something in her snap. The memory too clear in her mind, the sound of her pleas for help, for Sesshoumaru. "Why didn’t you come! Why didn’t you stop him! I screamed and screamed and you didn’t come! Why didn’t you save me! He was taking me from you and you didn’t stop him! You let him defile me! Why! Why!" Her screams came from her strong and forceful. She was saying what she never could, what she never let herself even feel.
"Did you hate me?"
"Yes! I hated you! You didn’t stop him and I hated you for it! I hated you for leaving me! I hated you for not coming! I hated you for letting him take me away from you!" She wept and screamed terrified at her own words. "And I hated myself for hating you."
Sesshoumaru waited for Rin’s sobbing to calm a bit. "What happened next?"
She took a deep breath trying to steady her voice. "He raped and tortured me more. I am not sure what happened after that, I don’t fully remember, only him laughing. I hated his laugh. When I was coherent again I was still naked, tied to the stake outside, with my hair butchered. Then she came back, that woman. She came and told me they would get me out. She told me I had to survive. I didn’t want to though. I was tainted, why should I survive?
‘Fire woke me the next day. He had thrown a torch on my legs and when I kicked it away he just threw it back. So I stood, I forced myself to stand so it couldn’t lie on me. He just laughed again, he was always laughing. He held the fire to my side. It burned so much, I…I just couldn’t take the pain. I kicked him! I had to get the fire away!" Rin was shocked to feel Sesshoumaru’s body tense slightly, but he said nothing.
"He threw me and the stake I was tied to across the camp. It was painful, but I was able to free myself of the stake, though my arms were still tied behind me. He was coming at me, ready to kill me right there, but she stopped him. She attacked him to save me. They all did, all the women, they revolted and two of them dragged me away."
"The women saved you?"
"Yes, they were all willing to give up their lives to save me." She paused a moment. "I really am a horrible creature. They all died to save me and I just tried to kill myself. None of them cared for their own lives, only for mine, and I couldn’t…I couldn’t even live. I didn’t deserve to be saved. They did! They deserved to live! Not me!"
"Rin," Sesshoumaru’s voice was firm, "what happened after you escaped?"
"They tossed me into the river, hoping to hide my scent from the demons’ senses. I don’t know how long I was in the water, I almost drowned several times. I finally washed up onto shore and I tried to run, but I was so tired. I was in so much pain. All I could do was stand there and wait. I didn’t wait long, he found me. He stabbed me in the stomach and dragged me back to the camp. I saw them burning before I died. All those people died because of me."
They were both silent for a moment. Tears still fell from Rin’s eyes and she could feel Sesshoumaru’s breath near her ear. Finally, he broke the uneasy stillness. "Rin, do you still hate me?"
She shook her tired head. "I could never hold hate in my heart for you. You have given me everything I needed. You restored me when I had no right to live. You kept me when I was nothing more than a burden to you. I cannot hate you."
"You have a right to hate me."
"I do not hate you. I hate only myself for being a curse upon you. I only wished to end the disgrace."
"You are no disgrace."
"Sesshoumaru-sama is kind to me, but he lies."
"You challenge me?"
"No, Sesshoumaru-sama, but I am a disgrace to you. I am polluted and powerless, in mind and body. I have no right to corrupt you with my presence." She tried to pull away but it was futile.
"Have you no trust in me?"
"I trust no one above Sesshoumaru-sama."
"Do you not believe I can protect you?"
"When you are with me I know I am safe, but you must go at times, and," Rin couldn’t believe what she was saying, "when you are gone you cannot protect me nor can you stop the terrors of my mind."
"Then you fear being alone."
"I fear what could happen if I am alone. If not from another, then from he who haunts my being."
She felt his face close the gap between them, his lips next to her left ear. "Then you will not be alone and I will free you from the monster that holds you." Rin’s heart quickened its beat as Sesshoumaru’s breath cascaded over her neck, stopping at the very place Akki had marked her. His smooth fangs brushed Rin’s wet skin and rested lightly over her.
In one sharp move Sesshoumaru pierced her neck, blood pooling at the border between fang and skin. Rin didn’t breathe. The pain was unlike anything she had felt before. When Akki had marked her it had been forced and harsh, he wanted to cause her pain, but this was fast and gentle. He was not trying to cause her pain, but even that which she did feel was not only pain, mixed in it was the strongest and purest of sensations, as if a part of him was entering her very soul.
Her fingers dug into his arm as her body pulsed with the most exquisite combination of pain and pleasure. Slowly, Sesshoumaru pulled out of her neck causing Rin to shudder. "Harm will never come to you again."
It took a moment for her to comprehend what he had just done. He has marked me? Does that mean he wants me as his mate? Sesshoumaru gently turned her around and for the first time she was able to look him in the eyes. He has accepted me.
He brought his hand to her face, tenderly brushing the wild strands of hair clinging to her skin. "Never will I leave you to suffer."
His voice showed no hint of emotion, even now, but something in her, something told her what he felt. It was like all her doubts had left her and she simply knew what he felt even though he didn’t show it. She could feel his care, his worry, as if they were her own emotions. They were overwhelming her, such strong, raw emotions. She buried her head into his haori and felt his arm reach around to hold her.
How…how does he hide this? How does he keep such an expressionless face, when I can barely breathe? Rin’s body relaxed against him, leaning in for support. With her suicide attempt, revealing her ordeal to Sesshoumaru, and his marking her, Rin’s body and mind were exhausted. She closed her eyes and listened to his heart beating. The steady rhythm released the last of Rin’s anxiety granting her a peaceful slumber in her mate’s embrace.
Rin awoke the next morning with Ahun curled protectively around her and Jaken tending to a fire a few feet away. She sat up and rubbed the sleep from her eyes. Jaken hurried over to her and smiled an odd smile.
Rin stopped him from speaking. "I’m sorry." He looked at her slightly confused. "For throwing you last night, I’m sorry."
That odd smile returned to his face and he laughed. "That was nothing compared to what Sesshoumaru-sama has done before."
"Still, I shouldn’t have done it."
"It doesn’t matter."
Now Rin gave him a confused look. "Why are you being so nice? No, ‘Of course you shouldn’t, you stupid girl!’ or, ‘How dare you throw me!’? Nothing?"
"Why would I say that, Rin-sama?"
She started to respond but stopped. Rin-sama? She slowly leaned down to Jaken placed a hand over his forehead. "Jaken-sama, are you sick? I could have sworn you just called me Rin-sama."
"Stupid human." Rin smiled, that was what she expected. "Of course I called you Rin-sama."
"Huh?" Now Rin was getting confused. "Why?"
"You are Sesshoumaru-sama’s mate now. It would be improper to say your name without a title."
Rin smirked at Jaken, struggling to hide her laugher. "So now, you have call me Rin-sama. It doesn’t sound right coming from you."
"What would you prefer, ‘stupid girl?’"
"Well no, but Rin-sama just sounds weird."
"You will need to get used to it."
She leaned back against Ahun and petted his black mane. "I suppose so. Where is Sesshoumaru-sama?"
"Hunting for your breakfast."
Confusion returned to Rin’s face. "Hunting for me? But I always get my own food."
"He is your mate now. The male is supposed to provide for the female."
"Again, weird." She looked into the fire for a moment thinking. "Jaken-sama, what is the female supposed to do? I rather figured a mate was like human’s husband and wife, though I have to admit I like the term mate better."
"I suppose if you compare demons to humans then mates would be like a husband and wife. The male is supposed to provide for and protect his family. The female also protects her family should the male be away. She is the primary caretaker for their offspring and of course," Jaken looked away from Rin, "the mates have their duties to one another."
"Duties to one another," Rin said more to herself than Jaken.
"Yes, well, you will have to provide Sesshoumaru-sama with pups."
Rin ran her fingers through Ahun’s mane and received an appreciative growl in response. Jaken seemed relieved that she did not inquire any further as he was slightly uncomfortable with the last part of their conversation. Rin herself was somewhat nervous and drifted off into her own thoughts.
Sesshoumaru-sama has chosen me as his mate. He has accepted me as I am, even though another marked me.
Sesshoumaru-sama is stronger than Akki. He killed Akki. His mark is the true one. I am his and his alone. Nothing Akki ever did to me can change that now. Sesshoumaru-sama will always take care of me. Demons will be careful not to harm me and incur his wrath.
Haku took me to incur his wrath, as his mate I am in even more danger. Who knows what kind of creatures will come after me now!
It doesn’t matter, Sesshoumaru-sama is my mate now, he will protect me. It is his duty to protect his mate.
Duty…I have a duty to him. I have the duty to provide him with an heir.
It will be a hanyou. Will he accept a hanyou? He couldn’t accept his brother…can he accept a child I give him? A child that might have my weakness?
He accepted me, why would he not accept my…our child? It will not have my weakness, for it will have his strength. It will be his child…no, that’s not what Jaken-sama said, it will be his pup.
Pup…yes, that sounds better. A child would be human, would be weak. A pup is better.
But I must first conceive it. I must…
How can I do that? I can’t do that. What if I have a flashback while…No! I can’t do that! Rin felt a sharp pain forming between her legs. I don’t want to know that torment again.
Sesshoumaru-sama would never cause me pain. He would…be gentle. It is not supposed to be painful.
But what if I remember. It hurts now just thinking of it. How will I ever be able to be with him like that? What kind of useless mate am I?
Rin shift her legs in an attempt to relieve the pain that continued to grow. Her body was tense, and by the quick glances she got from Jaken, her anxiety had already filtered into her scent. Sometimes she hated living with demons; they could always smell emotions.
Jaken opened his mouth to say something when a small boar carcass landed in from of him causing him to jump back. "Prepare this, Jaken," Sesshoumaru said from his place at the edge of the clearing. "Rin, come with me."
"Of course." Rin stood up and straightened her slightly dirty kimono before going to Sesshoumaru. He led her through the forest, neither of them speaking a word to the other. Rin kept her eyes to the ground ashamed of her body’s reactions.
I am with Sesshoumaru-sama, my mate. Why am I tense? Why am I worried? Why am I…scared? He will not harm me.
It is not harm I am afraid of. I am alone with my mate. I have duties to my mate. Will he be expecting me to…fulfill my duties to him?
"Rin," Sesshoumaru’s cold voice pulled her from her thoughts, "why are you scared? Do you doubt my ability to protect you?"
"No, never Sesshoumaru-sama, I feel safe with you."
He stopped and turned to her, his face bearing the same detached expression it always did. "You should not call me that anymore. Sesshoumaru will be sufficient." When she nodded her understanding he returned to the path he was walking with Rin in step behind him, her eyes staring at the ground again. "And do not lower your head."
She quickly looked up locking her focus on Sesshoumaru’s back to keep from gazing at the ground. They walked on for several more minutes before finally emerging from the trees and into a picturesque meadow overlooking the vast countryside. Rin followed Sesshoumaru out, stopping beside him to stare at the land before her. As she strained her head to see the very far mountain peaks she felt Sesshoumaru’s hand beneath her chin, gently pushing it up.
"Always keep your head up, Rin. You have nothing to be ashamed of." She looked up at him, his eyes cold yet radiant. He glanced to the scene before them not bothering to move his hand. "Does it please you?"
She tried to answer but his hand would not move to allow her mouth open. Rin straighten her back as much as she could and raised her chin up slightly more. "It does, Sesshoumaru-sa…Sesshoumaru."
"This land belongs to me, as my mate it belongs to you." Rin started to turn her head to the scene only to meet Sesshoumaru’s hand again, stopping her halfway. "The Lady of the Western Lands should never lower her head to anyone."
Rin could feel her muscles tighten beneath her skin and mentally cursed herself for reacting to his touch in such a way. Never before had she so desired the ability to drop her gaze to the ground. Sesshoumaru brought his fingers to her chin and forced her to look at him. "Why are you afraid?"
"I fear only that I cannot be what you need."
"Explain."
Rin felt the pain in her abdomen return as Sesshoumaru gently forced her to continue staring at him. "A women has duties to her mate. I cannot accomplish those. I fear if I do…I will become afraid of you." She grabbed her kimono and pushed against her stomach hoping to ease the pressure.
"Rin." Sesshoumaru released her chin only to take hold of the wrist against her body. "You will not feel pain because of any desire I have."
She turned her now free head from him. "But I can never bear a pup for you if I do not."
"Do not believe that Jaken knows what I think." Rin was so shocked by his response she brought her head back up giving Sesshoumaru a chance to take her chin again. One clawed finger kept her face to him while the rest still held her wrist. "You said pup, so you must have talked to Jaken. I have no intention of bringing harm to you for any reason. You are young still, there is plenty of time for your fears to be laid to rest. Nothing will happen until you are ready."
By his voice the last statement was a command, almost harsh and demanding, and had he said anything to her like that before last night she would have been sure he was upset. At that moment, however, Rin’s doubts left her again, her fears subsided and she could feel the compassion coming from him, the concern for her welfare.
Her face was graced with the first truly happy smile she had worn in months and tears of relief fell from her eyes. "Thank you, Sesshoumaru."
He released both her wrist and face and turned to stare at the landscape. Rin understood, she wasn’t sure how, but she did. He had said what he needed to, and with nothing more necessary, the conversation was over. Rin looked to the scene as well, taking in all that had been discussed.
"This is all mine now," Rin said. Sesshoumaru nodded. "The fates are mischievous."
"Why do you say that?"
"Yesterday they had me believing I was so worthless I had no right to even live, and today I am the Lady of the Western Lands. I have come to think they enjoy toying with my life, though this time I am pleased they did."
Sesshoumaru moved back to the forest. "Come Rin, your food should be ready."
She hurried to follow him. "Will you be hunting for me everyday from now on, Sesshoumaru. Jaken-sama said that it was the male’s duty to provide for the female."
"Are you unable to retrieve your own food?"
"No, Sesshoumaru."
"Then there is no need for me to hunt for you. I merely wished to speak with you this morning. If you were off gathering your own food I would not have been able to."
"Of course."
They walked the rest of the way in silence but it was not uncomfortable as the last time. Rin did not lower her head once the entire way, she was content watching Sesshoumaru as he walked before her.
After that day life returned to a certain level of normalcy. Rin no longer was victim to daytime flashes and her nightmares became fewer and less severe. When she did have one Rin always woke to see Sesshoumaru next to her and in her heart she could feel the worry that he did not show.
The emotions were the most difficult thing to get used to. For the first few weeks after being marked Rin would suddenly feel something and realize it wasn’t hers, yet Sesshoumaru showed no change in his indifferent demeanor. At times she became completely confused when she felt one thing and another emotion would come over her. As unnerving as it could be it also helped when she was scared or nervous and Sesshoumaru was sure and calm, his strength would relax her.
As the weeks changed to months and Rin suffered from none of her mind’s torment she began to think of her duty to Sesshoumaru. That alone still made her body freeze in terror, though it too was diminishing. Rin wondered how she would know when she would be ready. She didn’t have to wonder for very long.
One evening as Rin bathed in a small, secluded hot spring, her hands pulling the water up her body, she remembered the night Sesshoumaru marked her. She ran her fingers over the mark on her neck and closed her eyes, reveling in the memory of his warm breath striking her skin. Just the memory sent a shiver down her spine.
She brought her finger to her chin and raised it slightly as Sesshoumaru had done before. She found herself searching for times when he had held her or touched her. She wanted to feel his hand against her skin again. Suddenly, Rin felt the strongest desire she had ever known, and had it not been for one thing she would never have been able to deny it. The desire, however, was for her. It was Sesshoumaru’s desire for her.
The realization shocked her so much Rin fell into the water. She pulled herself out from under the surface and smoothed down her now chin length hair. That was the first time Rin had felt his desire for her and the feeling terrified her, but not in the same way it had before. A few moments after the feeling came it quickly subsided. Rin’s ire rose without warning.
Can he just so quickly set me aside! If that had been my desire I wouldn’t have been able to resist let alone send it away! How dare he just dismiss it like that!
What am I thinking? Would I have rather him come here and act on his desire? No, something isn’t right. This isn’t me. I am not the one that is angry. He is angry.
Why is he angry? Is he angry with me? Is he angry he can’t act on his desire? Is he angry he can’t be with his mate the way he should be? Rin began trembling slightly.
I am…scared. He isn’t angry with me. He is angry with himself. I became scared when I felt his desire. He is angry that he made me frightened. He said he wouldn’t hurt me because of his desire, but that is what terrified me. That’s why I got mad at him.
But I wasn't scared of it...I was scared by it. I hadn't expected it.
Rin got out of the hot spring and dried herself off before putting on her kimono. She quickly made her way back to the camp. Jaken and Ahun were asleep and Sesshoumaru sat staring at the fire before him. He looked up when she first entered the area but then returned his gaze to the fire. His eyes may have been on the fire, but Rin knew his attention was on her, her actions, her scent. She knew he was checking to see if she was still scared or uncomfortable being near him.
She silently took her place next to Ahun. It was amazing how she had grown accustomed to having the beast next to her as she slept. His tail curled over her waist protectively and a part of Rin wondered what it would feel like to have Sesshoumaru next to her, arm lying over her body. She sneaked a glance at Sesshoumaru.
Perhaps I am ready to be his mate. Tomorrow. I will speak with him tomorrow.
Rin leaned closely against Ahun and let herself drift off ready for the next day to come. The next day was not what she expected. Before she opened her eyes Rin smelled death near her. When she allowed herself sight she gazed down at a pool of blood beneath her, staining her blue kimono. She hurriedly turned around and gazed at Ahun, body split in two, heads severed.
Rin scrambled to her feet, screaming at the scene before her. She searched the small camp for Sesshoumaru and Jaken but saw neither. Her eyes were drawn back to the rotting carcass she had laid next to just moments before.
"Sesshoumaru! Sesshoumaru!" Rin cried out with all her might, slowly moving away from Ahun’s body. Suddenly pain encompassed her foot but when she looked down nothing was there. Her head was swimming in confusion and the pressure pounded in her skull. She grabbed her head but found one arm wouldn’t move. "Sesshoumaru!"
Terror filled her, but her own fear had taken hold the moment she awoke. Sesshoumaru was scared? "Rin!" She looked up struggling to find the source of his voice. The pulsing in her mind centered directly above her eyes and she thrust her free hand to them, pressing deeply in an attempt to relieve the strangling force. "Rin!"
She uncovered her eyes to find Sesshoumaru in front of her, his hand grasping one of her arms. She looked around the camp confused. Ahun stood behind Sesshoumaru straining to see her while Jaken stood atop one of his heads. Below her the fire was scattered on the ground and her foot was red and blistered. Terrified and confused Rin collapsed against Sesshoumaru’s body and wept. She felt his arm wrap across her shoulders and pull her to his safe embrace.
Rin wasn’t sure how long she cried to him but it was a longer reaction than to a normal nightmare. She had not suffered a dream that real in almost a year and nothing she thought up could explain why she suddenly did. As she slowly began to calm herself Rin began to feel the pounding return to eyes. Again she pressed into them but the pain wouldn’t leave her.
Sesshoumaru pushed her away slightly. "Rin, what is wrong?"
"My eyes, it hurts right above my eyes."
"Look at me." She lifted her head and moved her hands but each time she tried to open her eyes they clamped shut, burned by the light of the morning sun. Sesshoumaru gently pulled one eyelid open causing Rin to cry out in pain. When he had examined both eyes Sesshoumaru allowed her to cover them again.
"Is there something wrong with them?" Rin asked when she had relieved enough pressure to speak without whimpering.
"They are black. Your eyes have changed color, they are now completely black."
"Why!" The pain was too much and it stole Rin’s control over her voice.
"I do not know."
Rin broke from his grasp and stumbled aimlessly about shaking her head. She had to stop the pain somehow. Sesshoumaru quickly took her back to him and held her as she writhed in agony. She could feel his fear, anger, and most of all concern but the pain overwhelmed them all.
"Sesshoumaru-sama," Jaken’s voice came from in front of her but Rin couldn’t tell exactly where, "we are not far from the demon Jinenji, he is well known for his medicines, maybe he will have something that can help Rin-sama."
There was no answer other than movement. Sesshoumaru mounted Ahun placing her in front of him and they were off. Rin couldn’t tell time, seconds felt like hours to her, but finally she felt Ahun descending. Sesshoumaru gently helped her off after they had landed and she thought she heard Jaken run off somewhere.
A new voice was heard somewhere nearby and Sesshoumaru directed her towards it. She felt another person place a large hand on her shoulder and Sesshoumaru turn her. "Can you open your eyes?"
Rin shook her head violently and refused to move her hands when the man tried to push them aside. She fought the man’s attempts until she felt Sesshoumaru’s hand take her wrists and pull them down. The man forced her eyes open but instead of feeling the painful light Rin was able to see, and what she gazed up at made her shriek. She ripped from everyone that held her and moved away struggling to open her eyes again and confirm what she saw.
Finally, she managed to keep her eyes open long enough to look around. Haku and Akki stood near her, both with smiles on their faces. Haku approached her and she moved back more only to crash to the ground in pain. Her right leg was twisted at an unnatural angle beneath her and her arms were bound at the wrists in front of her. Haku reached down and pulled her up by her haphazardly formed hair. He looked at her but spoke to his brother. "What did you do to her? It is like she didn’t even realize she was here."
Akki laughed and joined his brother. "She didn’t, niisan, you just woke her up." He looked directly at Rin. "Did you have a nice dream? What was it this time? Were you rescued? Or maybe you had never been taken? Which was it, Rin?"
She struggled to push her voice from her throat but only managed a hoarse, airy whisper. "You are dead. This isn’t real."
The brothers laughed together. "Niisan, do you know the best way to remind her that this is quite real?"
The brother stood up and stepped back. "Do tell, otouto."
Akki pushed Rin onto her back and removed a dagger from his belt. He slid the cold metal down her neck and to her right shoulder. "Pain. Pain is always real. Right, Rin?"
He thrust the dagger into her right bicep and dragged it down the length of her arm. Rin screamed in agony. Her eyes clouded with tears and her breath tried to hide in her lungs.
"Sesshoumaru! Sesshoumaru!" She couldn’t stop her pleas from leaving her.
Akki took her face in his hand and bent down to lick a few drops of blood from her cheek. "You still call for him after all these weeks. Do you really think he is going to come for you? Niisan has even told me I can kill you if I please. Your Sesshoumaru is never coming back."