InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Unfettered ❯ My Own Prison ( Chapter 1 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: inufan625 
Kagome's choices.
Warning there is a small scene containing domestic abuse as well as a LEMON.
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Romance / Hentai / Drama | Type: Divergence | Uploaded On: 12.14.2005 | Updated On: 11.06.2006 | Pages: 3 | Words: 4.1K | Visits: 4.4K | Status: Work In Progress
Kagome's choices.
Warning there is a small scene containing domestic abuse as well as a LEMON.
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Romance / Hentai / Drama | Type: Divergence | Uploaded On: 12.14.2005 | Updated On: 11.06.2006 | Pages: 3 | Words: 4.1K | Visits: 4.4K | Status: Work In Progress
Disclaimer: I don't own InuYasha and will make no money from this work of fiction. That right falls to Rumiko Takahashi.
A/N: Final edit....
“Move, you good for nothing whore,” he commanded.
“No,” his mother replied, raising her head. She refused to back down in order to spare herself what was no doubt coming, in favor of protecting him.
He winced as the sound of his stepfather’s open hand connected with the side of his mother’s face. He wanted to move from behind her and protect her, but his mother told him that he was special, and that he must never let anyone know how special he was. If he were to defend her, surely his stepfather would notice that he was much stronger than any four-year-old little boy should be.
“I told that little bastard brat of yours not to leave his fucking toys all over the damn place,” he yelled, holding a small toy car up in front of his mother’s face. “It’s about time someone taught him a lesson. Now move.”
“No,” his mother said once again.
How he wished his mother weren’t so stubbornly brave. The hand holding the car closed to a fist and was driven hard into his mother’s stomach. She groaned and hunched over. First gasping and then coughing and retching, but she refused to fall to her knees as her body demanded. She straightened her back and stood upright again. This only infuriated his stepfather further, and he threw the toy car across the room. It crashed into one of the table lamps and shattered, spreading glass across the floor. His stepfather spun and slapped his mother across her face again. Then he knocked the food off the stove, spilling it onto the tiled floor.
“No one could be expected to eat that shit. I’m going out,” his stepfather announced. “I’ll be back tomorrow and I don’t want to see you, or that fucking brat, when I get here.”
He watched the hateful man leave and his mother collapse to the floor in front of him. Finally he was able to smell the salt of her tears. “I’m sorry mama,” Taro said quietly.
His mother hugged him to her. “Oh no, baby,” she cried. “You have nothing to be sorry for. This is not your fault.”
“But if I wouldn’t have forgotten to pick up my toy...” he started, feeling tears forming in his eyes and hating himself for it. He was supposed to be strong for her.
“Don’t you dare cry baby, not for something he did,” she soothed. “Children leave their toys out. That is what they do. You did nothing wrong. This was not your fault, never your fault. There is something wrong with him, not you. Okay?”
Taro nodded. “Mama, what will we do now?”
“I’m going to clean up this mess, and then we’ll make ramen for dinner. How does that sound?” she asked
Taro nodded enthusiastically. He loved ramen more than any other food in the world. His mother didn’t let him have it nearly as often as he would have liked. He watched as she began picking the broken glass from the dish that had held their dinner. Taro went and pulled the trashcan out, and dragged it across the floor to help her.
She looked up at him and smiled. “Thank you, baby. You’re such a good boy. I’d be lost without you. Could you get me a rag?”
Taro pulled open the drawer by the sink and grabbed a rag for his mother. When he went to hand it to her, he heard her utter a small yelp. “Mama?” he questioned.
“It’s all right,” she assured him. “I just cut my finger, see?”
She held up the offending appendage. There was a small cut seeping a few drops of blood. Taro licked it and placed a soft kiss on the tip of her finger. He had learned that for some reason, he could relieve pain and heal small cuts by licking them. “Is that better mama?” he asked.
“Much better,” she replied.
While his mother cleaned, he pulled out another rag and a small plastic bag. He opened the freezer and reached into the ice tray, filling the bag. When his mother finished mopping the floor, he handed it to her. She took the rag and gave him a sad sort of smile. She scratched a spot on his head that made him feel like his ears were twitching, and then started the water for his ramen.
“Aren’t you going to eat, mama?” he asked.
“I’m not really hungry right now, baby,” she replied. The truth was her stomach hurt too badly for her to consider trying to eat.
While he ate, she cleaned up the glass in the living room, and then lay on the sofa, holding the ice pack to her face. He put his bowl in the sink and went to her. His mother made room for him beside her and turned on the television. She laughed softly as they watched together.
“All right, time for bed,” she announced. “We have to get up early tomorrow to pack, for a visit to grandma’s.”
“Okay, mama,” Taro said. “I’ll go brush my teeth.” He always did as his mother asked him. He didn’t want to make things harder for her than they already were. He was sure that she must be the best mother any boy ever had, and he wanted to make her happy.
When he was in his pajamas and under the covers, his mother came to tuck him in. Even when the only light in the room was coming from the nightlight in the corner, he could see the bruise forming across her cheekbone, marring her beautiful face.
“Mama, will you tell me a story?”
“What kind of story would you like?” she prompted.
“Would you tell me about my real papa?”
His mother got a far off look in her eyes. “I met him under the Goshinboku,” she told him. “He was sleeping. When he woke up and saw me, he first thought I was someone else, someone who had hurt him. Slowly over time though, we grew closer, becoming friends. He was rough and didn’t always say the right things, but he had a good heart. He was so strong and brave. Sometimes it scared me that he was so fearless. He was so many things and I loved him very much.”
“Mama, if papa knew about me would he love me, do you think?” Taro asked.
“I know he would,” she replied.
“If my papa was here I bet he wouldn’t let him hurt you anymore,” Taro offered.
“No, baby, I bet he wouldn’t,” his mother agreed. Taro could hear the sadness seeping into her voice. She leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on his forehead. “Sleep well, my sweet koinu.”
The girl who was once Kagome Higurashi, a girl who traveled across time, closed the door to her son’s room and walked down the hall. She collapsed onto her bed and cried into her pillow. She knew InuYasha would be ashamed of her if he could see her now. She knew it wasn’t good for her child to see her being abused, but she was too ashamed of herself to leave. She didn’t want to admit that she had made such a mistake with her life.
When she had found out that she was pregnant she was both happy and sad at the same time. She had been afraid to tell her mother, but when she finally gathered the courage, her mother embraced her and promised to support her, no matter what she chose to do. She became something of an outcast at school. Her supposed friends abandoned her; even the ever-persistent Hojou.
When a new guy at school had shown an interest in her, and told her that he didn’t care if she was having another man’s child, it had been a dream come true. He had money, not a lot, but enough, and as soon as they finished high school he asked her to marry him. Her mother told her that she didn’t have to marry, but Kagome had insisted. She didn’t love him, but she knew already that she would never love anyone like she loved InuYasha. He would always have her heart. This new man was kind and she could do far worse, or so she had thought.
Shortly after Taro was born things changed drastically, and not for the better. The first time he hit her was when she could not get Taro, who was cutting teeth, to stop crying at his command. He had apologized so profusely after, begging her to forgive him so fervently, that she had. As Taro got older, his temper was directed at the little boy. Kagome couldn’t bear to let him lay a hand on her little boy, InuYasha’s little boy, and so she took the beatings he would have suffered onto herself.
She thought back to the one night when she had been truly happy.
Naraku was finally dead and the jewel was once again whole. After agonizing over her decision and InuYasha’s refusal to take the jewel, it was decided that she would pass through the well and purify the jewel in her own time. She would simply wish it out of existence, so no one else would have to suffer because of it.
The day came when she would leave and she knew she couldn’t put it off. She said goodbye to Miroku who was unusually subdued. When she hugged him he didn’t even try to grope her. “Farewell, Lady Kagome. I shall pray that you will find the same joy in your life that you brought into mine."
“Thank you,” she said through her tears.
Sango embraced her next. “I don’t know what I will do without you, my sister.”
“You’ll probably marry that lecherous monk and have many beautiful children,” Kagome replied. “I’ll never forget you.”
Kaede approached her after Sango. “Ye will be greatly missed,” she said. “I offer ye only one piece of advice to take with you when you leave. Listen to your heart, child. Ye will not be misled.”
Kagome wiped away her tears. “Thank you, Kaede. I have learned so much from you. You have always been so kind to me.”
She looked back one last time as she exited the hut. Miroku had one arm around Sango, who was sobbing into his robes. She managed a small smile. As she headed out of the village she called out to Shippou. She hadn't yet to say good-bye, but it was getting late and she had to get to the well.
“Shippou, please come out,” she called. “I have to leave. I’m sorry.”
Shippou came bounding out of the brush beside her. “Do you really have to go?”
“I’m sorry. I’ll miss you,” she told him sincerely. “Demons live a long time. I’m sure I’ll see you again, when you’re all grown up.”
“Do you really think so?” he asked.
Kagome nodded. “Please try not to bother InuYasha too much. I know he can be rude at times, but things have been hard for him. Also try to be good for Sango and Miroku.” The kit nodded. Kagome looked toward the well and saw him waiting for her. “Now go on back to the village before it gets dark.”
Shippou wiped away his tears and ran off.
Kagome headed to the well and to InuYasha. She stopped when she was standing before him. She looked into his eyes and started to cry. He seemed so sad, so lost. ‘Kaede said to follow my heart, and my heart is with InuYasha.’ She came to her decision.
She took a deep breath and gathered her courage. She put her arms around his neck and leaned up, pressing her lips against his. He didn’t respond at first but she refused to get embarrassed and move away.
InuYasha watched Kagome approach. He wished he was the kind of man that could tell her his true feelings, to beg her not to go, but he couldn’t bring himself to be that man. He told himself it was to give her a chance at the kind of life she deserved, but the truth was that he was afraid. He was totally unprepared for the feeling of her lips against his, and it took a moment for him to react.
Kagome sighed as she felt InuYasha’s arms come around her and he began to kiss her back. She ran her tongue across his lips and he responded in kind. Her innocent kiss turned into one of pent up desires finally unleashed. He broke the kiss and looked at her.
“Kagome,” he started.
“Don’t,” she interrupted. “Don’t say anything.” Her tears began to fall as she pleaded, “Please, I don’t expect anything to change. I know you want to be with her, but I want this. I want tonight with you. Please… I need this. Give me something wonderful to remember.”
He looked at her. He wanted her now, as he had for a long time. She was pure and beautiful -everything that he wasn’t, and she was begging him to be with her, not knowing what it would mean, what he would be sacrificing. She had sacrificed so much for him. He would do this for her. He nodded and kissed her softly.
He gathered her into his arms and carried her away from the well. When her feet returned again to the ground, they were in a small clearing. She could hear the water from the small waterfall as it cascaded across the rocks. The sun had finished sinking below the horizon and the full moon now shown down upon them.
She was glad that he didn’t speak. She didn’t want anything to ruin this moment, and she didn’t want to lose her courage. Her hands were trembling as she pulled at his haori. He raised her head with both hands and kissed her again. As he kissed her, his hands left her face and he removed his haori and undershirt.
She stepped back. The moonlight reflected off his silvery hair and gave him an ethereal glow. He was beautiful and she knew seeing him there, like that, was one thing she would never forget. She reached out and ran a finger along the lines of his chest. His muscles rippled beneath her touch. She stepped away again and turned her back to him.
She pulled off her shirt and unclasped her bra, letting it fall from her shoulders. She was gathering the courage to turn around when she felt the bare skin of his chest pressing against her back. His lips scorched her skin as he kissed her neck and shoulder. A soft moan escaped her as he nipped her skin gently with his fangs. She turned to face him.
His lips were on hers once again, and she felt him sliding one hand up from its place on her hip to cup her breast. She pressed herself harder into his hand and he responded with a gentle tug on her erect nipple. His hand returned to her hips and she felt him hook his thumbs under the waistband of her skirt and her panties. He looked into her eyes.
She saw the question he was asking her and she nodded. He slipped off the rest of her clothes and she stepped out of them. He urged her onto the ground. She laid back and looked at him. He was on his knees beside her. She couldn’t take her eyes off of his hands as they pulled at the tie of his hakama. It came free and soon he was bare before her.
He leaned over her, his body resting gently against hers. Her hands found their way to his ears and she rubbed them. He pressed his head harder against her hand as a low rumbling spilled forth. Kagome moaned loudly as his wet kisses and soft nips trailed down her body and he took one breast in his mouth. Her body ached for him. She wanted, no, needed, to be utterly consumed by him.
His mouth left her breast and moved further down her body. As he sat up to urge her legs apart she whined at the loss of his mouth against her skin. Her eyes were closed so she couldn’t see his smirk at her impatience. He lowered himself between her legs and was overwhelmed by her scent. He loved the way she smelled, especially now that she was aroused. It was intoxicating.
Kagome cried out as his tongue brushed against her. “…so good,” he mumbled as he continued to taste her. Kagome was only vaguely aware that he had said anything, too caught up in the sensations he was bringing forth. He was relentless and soon she cried out his name.
Kagome found herself trembling as a result of InuYasha’s attentions. She hadn’t fully recovered when she felt him hovering over her. She opened her eyes. The way he was looking at her, almost like he loved her, made it easy to pretend that he really did. She felt him pressing against her, waiting for her to give him some sign that this was truly what she wanted.
“Please, Inu…” She whispered. “I want my first time to be with you.”
He leaned down and as he captured her lips in a searing kiss. He didn’t pause as he pressed through her purity and soon he was fully inside her. A low groan escaped him. She felt so good. They fit together perfectly, almost like she was made just for him.
Kagome couldn’t open her eyes. She could feel him inside her. It hadn’t hurt as she had been expecting. Instead she felt full, complete, like this was exactly where she was supposed to be, here with him, like this. She loved him and knew that she would never regret having him as her first. If only she could have him forever, it would have been perfect.
Kagome was shocked by the slow tenderness of his movements, the gentle nature of his touch. As he moved within her, he kissed her, and looked into her eyes. She was making love to him and even if he didn’t love her, he was making it so she could believe that he was making love to her as well. That alone insured that she would love him forever, for his kindness, his gift to her in this. She had asked him to be with her, and he was doing so much more than simply taking her virginity. He was giving her the memory of a lifetime, something beautiful to keep with her always.
As the night wore on his pace increased and she felt herself building up to her release once again. InuYasha looked down at the girl beneath him. Her eyes were mostly closed and the thin sheen of sweat covering her body glistened. She raised her body to meet him with every thrust. She was absolutely beautiful like this, sweating, hair mussed, in the throws of passion. He longed to have her with him forever, but resigned himself to this one night.
He sensed her impending release as his name tumbled from her lips time and time again. He drove himself harder and faster and when she cried out, his release came as well and he pierced her neck with his fangs. He lapped at the wound until the bleeding stopped. He hadn’t meant to mark her, but he figured it wouldn’t matter in her time. Without binding her to him with his youki the mark would fade, and no one there would recognize the mark for what it was, anyway.
He kissed her one last time before moving to lay beside her. She started to reach for her clothes but he grabbed her and pulled her to him. He covered them with his haori and he felt her tears against his chest.
“Kagome?” he questioned softly. “Are you… Did I hurt you?”
She shook her head. “No. Everything was perfect. I…I’m just going to miss everyone so much. I’m sorry, for being such a baby. I know you hate it when I cry about nothing.”
“Don’t apologize,” he told her. “You have nothing to be sorry for.”
“InuYasha,” she whispered. “Thank you.”
He didn’t say anything. He simply held her a little tighter as she drifted off to sleep.
When she woke in the morning he was already dressed except for his haori, which was covering her. He was standing several feet away with his back to her. “Bout time you woke up,” he said without turning around.
Kagome started pulling on her clothes. She wondered if he was disgusted with her for the way she had acted. She finished dressing and went to stand beside him. “I guess it’s time for me to go.”
He offered her a small nod and then his back. He carried her back to the well and set her on her feet.
"InuYasha, I just want you to know that you’ve been so much more than just my friend, and that I’ll never forget you,” she told him. She leaned up and gave him a soft kiss on the lips. “I’ll never forget last night, and I know I’ll miss you most of all. Please try and be happy. You deserve to be happy.”
“Kagome I…” he started. He wanted to say I love you, I want you to stay, I need you with me, but none of them came out. “I won’t forget you, either.”
She managed to smile at him through her tears. She brushed her hand across his cheek and jumped into the well before she could change her mind. She climbed out of the well and broke down sobbing.
Her wish was made and the jewel disappeared before her eyes. It would be nine months exactly before she would know that jewel had not been purified, but merely passed on, existing not as a jewel, but as a living being, the very life she had carried inside her. With Taro’s birth the well had reopened, but she had not gone through. She refused to intrude on InuYasha now that he was with Kikyou, and finally allowed to be happy. Surely he would have noticed the well open and would have come for her if she had been the one he wanted.
Kagome cried harder as she thought of him. Oh, InuYasha, where are you? I need you so much. Our son needs you. Her tears did not cease even as she slept.
A/N: Final edit....
~ * ~
Taro stood behind his mother, whining softly, as she stood blocking him from the view of his stepfather.“Move, you good for nothing whore,” he commanded.
“No,” his mother replied, raising her head. She refused to back down in order to spare herself what was no doubt coming, in favor of protecting him.
He winced as the sound of his stepfather’s open hand connected with the side of his mother’s face. He wanted to move from behind her and protect her, but his mother told him that he was special, and that he must never let anyone know how special he was. If he were to defend her, surely his stepfather would notice that he was much stronger than any four-year-old little boy should be.
“I told that little bastard brat of yours not to leave his fucking toys all over the damn place,” he yelled, holding a small toy car up in front of his mother’s face. “It’s about time someone taught him a lesson. Now move.”
“No,” his mother said once again.
How he wished his mother weren’t so stubbornly brave. The hand holding the car closed to a fist and was driven hard into his mother’s stomach. She groaned and hunched over. First gasping and then coughing and retching, but she refused to fall to her knees as her body demanded. She straightened her back and stood upright again. This only infuriated his stepfather further, and he threw the toy car across the room. It crashed into one of the table lamps and shattered, spreading glass across the floor. His stepfather spun and slapped his mother across her face again. Then he knocked the food off the stove, spilling it onto the tiled floor.
“No one could be expected to eat that shit. I’m going out,” his stepfather announced. “I’ll be back tomorrow and I don’t want to see you, or that fucking brat, when I get here.”
He watched the hateful man leave and his mother collapse to the floor in front of him. Finally he was able to smell the salt of her tears. “I’m sorry mama,” Taro said quietly.
His mother hugged him to her. “Oh no, baby,” she cried. “You have nothing to be sorry for. This is not your fault.”
“But if I wouldn’t have forgotten to pick up my toy...” he started, feeling tears forming in his eyes and hating himself for it. He was supposed to be strong for her.
“Don’t you dare cry baby, not for something he did,” she soothed. “Children leave their toys out. That is what they do. You did nothing wrong. This was not your fault, never your fault. There is something wrong with him, not you. Okay?”
Taro nodded. “Mama, what will we do now?”
“I’m going to clean up this mess, and then we’ll make ramen for dinner. How does that sound?” she asked
Taro nodded enthusiastically. He loved ramen more than any other food in the world. His mother didn’t let him have it nearly as often as he would have liked. He watched as she began picking the broken glass from the dish that had held their dinner. Taro went and pulled the trashcan out, and dragged it across the floor to help her.
She looked up at him and smiled. “Thank you, baby. You’re such a good boy. I’d be lost without you. Could you get me a rag?”
Taro pulled open the drawer by the sink and grabbed a rag for his mother. When he went to hand it to her, he heard her utter a small yelp. “Mama?” he questioned.
“It’s all right,” she assured him. “I just cut my finger, see?”
She held up the offending appendage. There was a small cut seeping a few drops of blood. Taro licked it and placed a soft kiss on the tip of her finger. He had learned that for some reason, he could relieve pain and heal small cuts by licking them. “Is that better mama?” he asked.
“Much better,” she replied.
While his mother cleaned, he pulled out another rag and a small plastic bag. He opened the freezer and reached into the ice tray, filling the bag. When his mother finished mopping the floor, he handed it to her. She took the rag and gave him a sad sort of smile. She scratched a spot on his head that made him feel like his ears were twitching, and then started the water for his ramen.
“Aren’t you going to eat, mama?” he asked.
“I’m not really hungry right now, baby,” she replied. The truth was her stomach hurt too badly for her to consider trying to eat.
While he ate, she cleaned up the glass in the living room, and then lay on the sofa, holding the ice pack to her face. He put his bowl in the sink and went to her. His mother made room for him beside her and turned on the television. She laughed softly as they watched together.
“All right, time for bed,” she announced. “We have to get up early tomorrow to pack, for a visit to grandma’s.”
“Okay, mama,” Taro said. “I’ll go brush my teeth.” He always did as his mother asked him. He didn’t want to make things harder for her than they already were. He was sure that she must be the best mother any boy ever had, and he wanted to make her happy.
When he was in his pajamas and under the covers, his mother came to tuck him in. Even when the only light in the room was coming from the nightlight in the corner, he could see the bruise forming across her cheekbone, marring her beautiful face.
“Mama, will you tell me a story?”
“What kind of story would you like?” she prompted.
“Would you tell me about my real papa?”
His mother got a far off look in her eyes. “I met him under the Goshinboku,” she told him. “He was sleeping. When he woke up and saw me, he first thought I was someone else, someone who had hurt him. Slowly over time though, we grew closer, becoming friends. He was rough and didn’t always say the right things, but he had a good heart. He was so strong and brave. Sometimes it scared me that he was so fearless. He was so many things and I loved him very much.”
“Mama, if papa knew about me would he love me, do you think?” Taro asked.
“I know he would,” she replied.
“If my papa was here I bet he wouldn’t let him hurt you anymore,” Taro offered.
“No, baby, I bet he wouldn’t,” his mother agreed. Taro could hear the sadness seeping into her voice. She leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on his forehead. “Sleep well, my sweet koinu.”
The girl who was once Kagome Higurashi, a girl who traveled across time, closed the door to her son’s room and walked down the hall. She collapsed onto her bed and cried into her pillow. She knew InuYasha would be ashamed of her if he could see her now. She knew it wasn’t good for her child to see her being abused, but she was too ashamed of herself to leave. She didn’t want to admit that she had made such a mistake with her life.
When she had found out that she was pregnant she was both happy and sad at the same time. She had been afraid to tell her mother, but when she finally gathered the courage, her mother embraced her and promised to support her, no matter what she chose to do. She became something of an outcast at school. Her supposed friends abandoned her; even the ever-persistent Hojou.
When a new guy at school had shown an interest in her, and told her that he didn’t care if she was having another man’s child, it had been a dream come true. He had money, not a lot, but enough, and as soon as they finished high school he asked her to marry him. Her mother told her that she didn’t have to marry, but Kagome had insisted. She didn’t love him, but she knew already that she would never love anyone like she loved InuYasha. He would always have her heart. This new man was kind and she could do far worse, or so she had thought.
Shortly after Taro was born things changed drastically, and not for the better. The first time he hit her was when she could not get Taro, who was cutting teeth, to stop crying at his command. He had apologized so profusely after, begging her to forgive him so fervently, that she had. As Taro got older, his temper was directed at the little boy. Kagome couldn’t bear to let him lay a hand on her little boy, InuYasha’s little boy, and so she took the beatings he would have suffered onto herself.
She thought back to the one night when she had been truly happy.
Naraku was finally dead and the jewel was once again whole. After agonizing over her decision and InuYasha’s refusal to take the jewel, it was decided that she would pass through the well and purify the jewel in her own time. She would simply wish it out of existence, so no one else would have to suffer because of it.
The day came when she would leave and she knew she couldn’t put it off. She said goodbye to Miroku who was unusually subdued. When she hugged him he didn’t even try to grope her. “Farewell, Lady Kagome. I shall pray that you will find the same joy in your life that you brought into mine."
“Thank you,” she said through her tears.
Sango embraced her next. “I don’t know what I will do without you, my sister.”
“You’ll probably marry that lecherous monk and have many beautiful children,” Kagome replied. “I’ll never forget you.”
Kaede approached her after Sango. “Ye will be greatly missed,” she said. “I offer ye only one piece of advice to take with you when you leave. Listen to your heart, child. Ye will not be misled.”
Kagome wiped away her tears. “Thank you, Kaede. I have learned so much from you. You have always been so kind to me.”
She looked back one last time as she exited the hut. Miroku had one arm around Sango, who was sobbing into his robes. She managed a small smile. As she headed out of the village she called out to Shippou. She hadn't yet to say good-bye, but it was getting late and she had to get to the well.
“Shippou, please come out,” she called. “I have to leave. I’m sorry.”
Shippou came bounding out of the brush beside her. “Do you really have to go?”
“I’m sorry. I’ll miss you,” she told him sincerely. “Demons live a long time. I’m sure I’ll see you again, when you’re all grown up.”
“Do you really think so?” he asked.
Kagome nodded. “Please try not to bother InuYasha too much. I know he can be rude at times, but things have been hard for him. Also try to be good for Sango and Miroku.” The kit nodded. Kagome looked toward the well and saw him waiting for her. “Now go on back to the village before it gets dark.”
Shippou wiped away his tears and ran off.
Kagome headed to the well and to InuYasha. She stopped when she was standing before him. She looked into his eyes and started to cry. He seemed so sad, so lost. ‘Kaede said to follow my heart, and my heart is with InuYasha.’ She came to her decision.
She took a deep breath and gathered her courage. She put her arms around his neck and leaned up, pressing her lips against his. He didn’t respond at first but she refused to get embarrassed and move away.
InuYasha watched Kagome approach. He wished he was the kind of man that could tell her his true feelings, to beg her not to go, but he couldn’t bring himself to be that man. He told himself it was to give her a chance at the kind of life she deserved, but the truth was that he was afraid. He was totally unprepared for the feeling of her lips against his, and it took a moment for him to react.
Kagome sighed as she felt InuYasha’s arms come around her and he began to kiss her back. She ran her tongue across his lips and he responded in kind. Her innocent kiss turned into one of pent up desires finally unleashed. He broke the kiss and looked at her.
“Kagome,” he started.
“Don’t,” she interrupted. “Don’t say anything.” Her tears began to fall as she pleaded, “Please, I don’t expect anything to change. I know you want to be with her, but I want this. I want tonight with you. Please… I need this. Give me something wonderful to remember.”
He looked at her. He wanted her now, as he had for a long time. She was pure and beautiful -everything that he wasn’t, and she was begging him to be with her, not knowing what it would mean, what he would be sacrificing. She had sacrificed so much for him. He would do this for her. He nodded and kissed her softly.
He gathered her into his arms and carried her away from the well. When her feet returned again to the ground, they were in a small clearing. She could hear the water from the small waterfall as it cascaded across the rocks. The sun had finished sinking below the horizon and the full moon now shown down upon them.
She was glad that he didn’t speak. She didn’t want anything to ruin this moment, and she didn’t want to lose her courage. Her hands were trembling as she pulled at his haori. He raised her head with both hands and kissed her again. As he kissed her, his hands left her face and he removed his haori and undershirt.
She stepped back. The moonlight reflected off his silvery hair and gave him an ethereal glow. He was beautiful and she knew seeing him there, like that, was one thing she would never forget. She reached out and ran a finger along the lines of his chest. His muscles rippled beneath her touch. She stepped away again and turned her back to him.
She pulled off her shirt and unclasped her bra, letting it fall from her shoulders. She was gathering the courage to turn around when she felt the bare skin of his chest pressing against her back. His lips scorched her skin as he kissed her neck and shoulder. A soft moan escaped her as he nipped her skin gently with his fangs. She turned to face him.
His lips were on hers once again, and she felt him sliding one hand up from its place on her hip to cup her breast. She pressed herself harder into his hand and he responded with a gentle tug on her erect nipple. His hand returned to her hips and she felt him hook his thumbs under the waistband of her skirt and her panties. He looked into her eyes.
She saw the question he was asking her and she nodded. He slipped off the rest of her clothes and she stepped out of them. He urged her onto the ground. She laid back and looked at him. He was on his knees beside her. She couldn’t take her eyes off of his hands as they pulled at the tie of his hakama. It came free and soon he was bare before her.
He leaned over her, his body resting gently against hers. Her hands found their way to his ears and she rubbed them. He pressed his head harder against her hand as a low rumbling spilled forth. Kagome moaned loudly as his wet kisses and soft nips trailed down her body and he took one breast in his mouth. Her body ached for him. She wanted, no, needed, to be utterly consumed by him.
His mouth left her breast and moved further down her body. As he sat up to urge her legs apart she whined at the loss of his mouth against her skin. Her eyes were closed so she couldn’t see his smirk at her impatience. He lowered himself between her legs and was overwhelmed by her scent. He loved the way she smelled, especially now that she was aroused. It was intoxicating.
Kagome cried out as his tongue brushed against her. “…so good,” he mumbled as he continued to taste her. Kagome was only vaguely aware that he had said anything, too caught up in the sensations he was bringing forth. He was relentless and soon she cried out his name.
Kagome found herself trembling as a result of InuYasha’s attentions. She hadn’t fully recovered when she felt him hovering over her. She opened her eyes. The way he was looking at her, almost like he loved her, made it easy to pretend that he really did. She felt him pressing against her, waiting for her to give him some sign that this was truly what she wanted.
“Please, Inu…” She whispered. “I want my first time to be with you.”
He leaned down and as he captured her lips in a searing kiss. He didn’t pause as he pressed through her purity and soon he was fully inside her. A low groan escaped him. She felt so good. They fit together perfectly, almost like she was made just for him.
Kagome couldn’t open her eyes. She could feel him inside her. It hadn’t hurt as she had been expecting. Instead she felt full, complete, like this was exactly where she was supposed to be, here with him, like this. She loved him and knew that she would never regret having him as her first. If only she could have him forever, it would have been perfect.
Kagome was shocked by the slow tenderness of his movements, the gentle nature of his touch. As he moved within her, he kissed her, and looked into her eyes. She was making love to him and even if he didn’t love her, he was making it so she could believe that he was making love to her as well. That alone insured that she would love him forever, for his kindness, his gift to her in this. She had asked him to be with her, and he was doing so much more than simply taking her virginity. He was giving her the memory of a lifetime, something beautiful to keep with her always.
As the night wore on his pace increased and she felt herself building up to her release once again. InuYasha looked down at the girl beneath him. Her eyes were mostly closed and the thin sheen of sweat covering her body glistened. She raised her body to meet him with every thrust. She was absolutely beautiful like this, sweating, hair mussed, in the throws of passion. He longed to have her with him forever, but resigned himself to this one night.
He sensed her impending release as his name tumbled from her lips time and time again. He drove himself harder and faster and when she cried out, his release came as well and he pierced her neck with his fangs. He lapped at the wound until the bleeding stopped. He hadn’t meant to mark her, but he figured it wouldn’t matter in her time. Without binding her to him with his youki the mark would fade, and no one there would recognize the mark for what it was, anyway.
He kissed her one last time before moving to lay beside her. She started to reach for her clothes but he grabbed her and pulled her to him. He covered them with his haori and he felt her tears against his chest.
“Kagome?” he questioned softly. “Are you… Did I hurt you?”
She shook her head. “No. Everything was perfect. I…I’m just going to miss everyone so much. I’m sorry, for being such a baby. I know you hate it when I cry about nothing.”
“Don’t apologize,” he told her. “You have nothing to be sorry for.”
“InuYasha,” she whispered. “Thank you.”
He didn’t say anything. He simply held her a little tighter as she drifted off to sleep.
When she woke in the morning he was already dressed except for his haori, which was covering her. He was standing several feet away with his back to her. “Bout time you woke up,” he said without turning around.
Kagome started pulling on her clothes. She wondered if he was disgusted with her for the way she had acted. She finished dressing and went to stand beside him. “I guess it’s time for me to go.”
He offered her a small nod and then his back. He carried her back to the well and set her on her feet.
"InuYasha, I just want you to know that you’ve been so much more than just my friend, and that I’ll never forget you,” she told him. She leaned up and gave him a soft kiss on the lips. “I’ll never forget last night, and I know I’ll miss you most of all. Please try and be happy. You deserve to be happy.”
“Kagome I…” he started. He wanted to say I love you, I want you to stay, I need you with me, but none of them came out. “I won’t forget you, either.”
She managed to smile at him through her tears. She brushed her hand across his cheek and jumped into the well before she could change her mind. She climbed out of the well and broke down sobbing.
Her wish was made and the jewel disappeared before her eyes. It would be nine months exactly before she would know that jewel had not been purified, but merely passed on, existing not as a jewel, but as a living being, the very life she had carried inside her. With Taro’s birth the well had reopened, but she had not gone through. She refused to intrude on InuYasha now that he was with Kikyou, and finally allowed to be happy. Surely he would have noticed the well open and would have come for her if she had been the one he wanted.
Kagome cried harder as she thought of him. Oh, InuYasha, where are you? I need you so much. Our son needs you. Her tears did not cease even as she slept.