InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Vying for Dominance ❯ Acceptance ( Chapter 27 )

Acceptance

 

 

…I love you…

 

Heaven's blade speaks to souls. And as hers spoke the words, Tenseiga whispered them to his.

 

Sesshomaru looked up, even as gravity pulled him down from the mountain heights and the shelter that held her safe within. He knew what it meant for her to speak such words, this child of purity and light, the one from whom he had taken her innocence. He knew that there was no going back now, knew that her heart could never forget even if it would forgive him for breaking it. He knew.

 

But then, why was he not weighed down by the heavy burden of guilt that should have been his for having committed such a sin against one so pure? Why was it his sins he was seeing now, and they that made him think, for the first time in his life, that it was he that was not worthy? Why did her words, more binding than any spell of subjugation, seem not a curse, but a blessing?

 

His landing was jarring, his mind unfocused and preoccupied. But the heavy impact as his powerful muscles absorbed the force was enough to pull together his scattered thoughts and bring him back to where he was. Looking across the lake, he saw the vague outlines of his brethren gathered in their celebration.

 

It was there he belonged, with his people, his own kind.

 

He was their leader. He couldn't let his own desires take precedence over that. His quest for power, conquest over the petty races to give him rule of the land; all would serve them equally. Power to rule, lands to govern; they meant prosperity for his people. His gains became theirs; his strength serving them, his will what led their cause.

 

How could he turn his back on that, on them?

 

“Do you insist on going, father?”

 

“Do you intend to stop me, Sesshomaru?”

 

His own father had walked away from it all, all for the human woman who loved him. He had known how fragile the mortal princess was, knew that she could never have a place here amongst so many who would see her brought to harm, knew that the hanyou child she birthed could never be accepted, would never be able to defend himself from the young Inu pups itching to test their claws.

 

So he had simply walked away. Walked away and left everything that he had spent his life building. His army, his great community, his family; he walked away from it all. For them. For her.

 

“Have you someone to protect?”

 

Why would he protect a creature so weak they could not protect themselves? Because he loved her? Ridiculous. Love was human conception.

 

“The answer is no. This Sesshomaru has no need of such.”

 

And he didn't. Love had no place in his life of conquest and power. Love could not win battles, could not bring down a threatening foe, could do nothing but weaken the hand that defends with riddles of guilt and shackles of pain. Love had destroyed his father, taken his very life.

 

…I love you…

 

He couldn't walk the path of his father. He wouldn't. He was needed here. There was no other to take his place as there had been following his father's reign. He had no sons, no brothers, no one that could keep the great community from falling into ruin if he turned away.

 

Takked was growing old. He would have been replaced long ago if it wasn't for the understanding that it was for Sesshomaru he held the General's place. Tannis, though still able to fight, had not the heart for it any longer. He had seen his share of blood. He had earned his days of rest when another would take his place. And Kuro, though many in years, still had not lost his edge, or his willingness to see battle and shed blood. Were he not kept in check, he would lead them all to ruin as he sought out selfish pursuits and obtained victories in merciless, vindictive kills.

 

No, he could not walk away. The time had come for the children to take their parents place, to lead the pack into tomorrow. He couldn't walk away, not now, not when he was still needed here. He couldn't go, but how could he stay? How could he live his life in a lie?

 

How could he deny her, break her heart, have her pure soul darkened by his sin? How could he deny himself, fight by her side but never know her heavenly touch that would soothe and calm his restless spirit? How could he stand in front of them, take an Inu mate as for so long it had been deemed, as it was expected, bed her, make her heavy with his pups; and all the while know that it was nothing more than a façade, that she would never be the one he wanted for his mate, never be the one he could or would care for as only She had ever made him want to do?

 

…I love you…

 

Why? How? Why him? Why now? How could it have come to this? How could he have let this happen?

 

What was he going to do?

 

“I see she spared nothing in the restoration.”

 

Sesshomaru was startled by the intrusion to his privacy, though he did not allow any motion to give it away. He turned his attention to where Takked was approaching him, vaguely becoming aware of the scent of poison on the air that had begun to flow from his claws in his self-destructive thoughts. He curbed the flow immediately. Such lapses in control were unacceptable, even when he believed himself to be alone.

 

“How fares the little miko?” the elder asked, seeming genuinely concerned.

 

“She is…resting.”

 

Takked didn't miss Sesshomaru's hesitation. Actually, coming one who was always so sure of himself, it would have been difficult to miss it. “I must say,” he began conversationally, “I had my doubts of her ability to actually accomplish the feat. And to do so at such a high expense to herself: it truly was a remarkable display. There are many others who think so as well.”

 

Sesshomaru offered no response, but then, Takked hadn't really been expecting one. Under normal circumstances, the pup was reticent. But these circumstances were far from normal, and Sesshomaru's distance had nothing to do with his aloof demeanor. Something had happened, with Him, with Her, something pivotal. And Sesshomaru stood now, a being caught between worlds, more his father's son now than ever.

 

“Your presence has been missed, Sesshomaru. Come, spend some time in celebration. Surely my brother's fang will be sufficient to keep the young miko safe.”

 

In an absent gesture, Sesshomaru laid his hand to rest against the hilt of Tokijin, feeling the absence of Tenseiga by his side. Of course Takked had noticed. He might have been old, but his eyes were just as sharp as they had always been.

 

“Half-brother,” Sesshomaru corrected distantly.

 

“Hai,” the elder acknowledged with a short nod, “But brother all the same.”

 

“Hn.”

 

Releasing a long breath, knowing that he would not be able to make Sesshomaru speak, at least not now when he was so preoccupied with other thoughts and other priorities, Takked offered a suggestion before he would take his leave. “If you will not return to the gathering ground, then perhaps you might use your time to help Tannis out of his predicament: He seems to have lost his daughter.” He turned then, beginning to make his way back, but stopped, conveying one last message before he departed. “You know, Sesshomaru, she is beautiful, powerful, intelligent, and her strength of character unmatched. I can not help but wonder: What are you waiting for?”

 

What are you waiting for?

 

The words whispered upon the winds of a memory, and in memory came the answer.

 

Some things simply can not be changed.

 

She was human, and he a youkai. Nothing would ever change that. They were born of different moulds for different worlds.

 

I'm not one of your dogs that will simply take to your orders!

 

No, she wouldn't. Not her. She was too stubborn, too willful, too obstinate to ever be the submissive kind of bitch that all his life he had known.

 

You dare accuse me..?

 

She would. She always would. If she saw or heard or felt something against what she believed, she would always stand against it, and stand proudly.

 

It doesn't matter what I do or say or how many times I prove myself, does it?

 

How many times had she proven herself just on this day? How many times in the past? She had fought, and she had conquered. She was strong. She was worthy.

 

You are wrong.

 

Because it did matter. It mattered, it mattered to him. Because for all she had shown him, all she had done and said, every time she surprised him, made him think, or simply confused him as no other could, every moment he spent with her; and he would be given a new kind of understanding, a new kind of respect.

 

What does it matter? I will never be anything more than second best.

 

And even still, no matter what power she possessed, no matter her strength or her will, her emotions were fragile. She needed support, needed to be told of her worth even when she had made it so clear to any that would look upon her. She couldn't do it on her own.

 

I stand here with you now, Kagome, because you are second to none.

 

He had never met another like her, and he knew he never would.

 

Thank you, Sesshomaru, for reminding me why I'm doing all this.

 

But it was she that had moved him to speak, she that had made him want to be the one to comfort her, to ease away her fears and her pains.

 

Kagome…

 

His Kagome.

 

Hai, my Lord?

 

If only it could last forever.

 

Would you regret?

 

He had asked for one night, but she had given him so much more.

 

Never.

 

Not even in five hundred years?

 

You were perfect.

 

Beauty, power, poise, command, all wrapped up in a shell of mortal emotions that made her so irresistibly fragile and n need of care.

 

I love you.

 

And he felt no guilt.

 

Then ask me again.

 

The answer was in her eyes.

 

What are you waiting for?

 

Turning away from the water, Sesshomaru set his destination. He knew the answer now. He could not have things one way or the other. To do either would be for him to be untrue to himself, to his nature. He could be neither. He could not be a false leader, nor could he be a reluctant lover. No, he could not be either one. Would not be. He knew the answer to the question not yet asked.

 

What are you waiting for?

 

“Nothing.”

 

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

Were he a gracious demon, he might have given them the opportunity to sense his approach and collect themselves from their compromising position. But, that he wasn't, Sesshomaru approached the concealed grove of trees where Auria and the young Jomon currently occupied in stealth. A slow smirk lifted on his lips when he found them together, wrapped in each others arms, taking what pleasures they could from one that was forbidden.

 

What beautiful irony.

 

Of course, there was no reason for them to know of his plans. Not yet, at least. So, with a carefully placed footfall, he shifted his weight to snap a branch fallen to the forest floor.

 

It was Auria that looked to him first, her emerald eyes widening in sheer horror. “Sess…Sesshomaru…”

 

That had been the first time that she had spoken his name with any kind of emotion, and he couldn't say he wasn't pleased that it was fear. The smirk gracing his lips spread as he watched Jomon turn swiftly, putting the golden one to his back in a gesture of warding and protection as he faced him. The boy was foolish. He allowed his emotions to be too clearly displayed. It was in his eyes, in the way the clear blues had been taken over by a firestorm. Fierce, angry, challenging.

 

Jomon was lucky that Sesshomaru had need of him. He looked away from the challenge, his focus on the golden demoness. “Always a pleasure, Auria.” His greeting was no more than that he would give to any female of high status, lacking any of the uncomfortable knowledge of what she was to him - because she wasn't anything to him, not anymore. He inclined his head, even made an attempt at a smile to break the smirk from his features. “If you would, give us leave a while.”

 

Hesitantly, Auria stepped out from behind the protective cover of Jomon's back. She was shaking. She knew what being caught betraying his lordships command meant for her, and for the one she loved. She needed to do something. She needed to explain herself. “My Lord, I…”

 

“This Sesshomaru does not recall giving you leave to speak,” he interrupted frigidly. “Now go, before I find my patience with you expired.”

 

It was an order, and it was not to be disputed. Auria knew this, knew that she had lost any possible chance for redemption. Her breath hitched as she looked one last time at Jomon, her heart clenching with the thought that this might very well be the last time she ever saw him.

 

“What are you waiting for, bitch?” Jomon wouldn't have her stay, wouldn't have her see this; wouldn't have her hurt, not because of him. “Go!”

 

And though still reluctant, she had no choice.

 

With the bitch gone, Sesshomaru turned his attention fully to the young Lord. Of course, what Jomon didn't know was that if it hadn't been for Sesshomaru, he never would have gained such a standing. Tannis respected the boy's grandfather, but even so, it was not enough for the old dogs to be swayed to allow a mongrel take a seat as a ruling Lord. But the boy had spirit, courage, and the strength to stand for himself when there was no other that would. It was respectable, and Sesshomaru had cleared the way for the battles won by the halfling to put him in a position that could not be disputed.

 

No one knew. Well, Takked probably knew, but that was irrelevant. The reasoning behind it, however, was for Sesshomaru alone to know. Could it be done? Could one not truly of their kind be given the respect of a Lord? Could it be done? And if for a wolf, the grandson of the once great Golden leader; then what of the son of another leader? Could it be done?

 

Of course, in allowing the boy to gain such a standing was also what had provided him with the means and opportunity to sway Auria's favor. That had been…irksome. But then, Sesshomaru never really wanted Auria in the first place, so anything that distracted her from him, and caused her to fight her father's edict all the more, was welcome enough.

 

But Jomon knew none of this. An accomplished fighter he may have been; but he was still young, still naive, and still just a little too slow to pick up on the obvious. And so, he stood now fighting with himself, trying to decide what to do, what to say, how to react. He would have known what being caught with Auria meant, and he knew now that there was only one honorable course of action. Albeit foolish, and doomed to failure; Sesshomaru was pleased when the young Lord found his courage and made his stand.

 

“I…I will fight you for her.”

 

“Is that so?” Amusement rang clearly in his condescending tone. “Certainly, you could try. However, you know as well as I that you would fail.”

 

Jomon shook his head sharply, his hands clenching into tight fists at his side. “It doesn't matter! She's worth it!”

 

“Hn. Perhaps.” Sesshomaru looked away, not impressed. Turning his eyes to the beauty of the moon as she bathed the land below in her silver light, he listened to the secrets of the night, those things held in shadow from the sun's light. “If she is worth fighting for,” he stated carefully, “Then surely she is worth waiting for as well. One year I shall give to you, and if it is still your desire, and hers, to be mated; then you may make your stand for her then and know that I will not stand against you.”

 

Completely at a loss, not understanding why Sesshomaru would give up so easily on the female that had stood to be his mate for centuries, and filled with suspicion as to his true intent, Jomon forced a tight reply with an even more reluctant bow. “You are too kind, Lord Sesshomaru.”

 

“I am not finished.” Turning his piercing gaze to level on the young Lord, he continued. “There is to be a condition for my terms.”

 

Jomon hesitated. Sesshomaru was not one to take lightly. Any condition he might offer could very well mean death, or worse. But for Auria… “Anything.”

 

“You are to send word to your cousin in the wolf pack. Tell him that it is with your consent and blessing that, her will choosing, your sister be mated with an Inu.”

 

Sister? “You mean Kagome? Who is she to…?” Jomon knew that look. He had personally seen someone die - slowly and painfully - after having received that look from Sesshomaru. He wisely shut his mouth. But as she was his sister, and as her care had been placed in his hands by Lord Sesshomaru himself; he was tied by duty to see her best interest taken into account. He had to ask.

 

“Lord Sesshomaru? What about her hanyou?”

 

Inuyasha… Her protector. Her champion. But even so the hanyou was never in the position to give the miko away; not, at least, to his elder brother, his Alpha, his Lord.

 

“The hanyou,” Sesshomaru replied slowly, “Shall once and for all learn his place.”

 

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

I'm sorry, it's too late to be writing a note XD But I do want to thank everyone for playing along with my little game from last chapter. Lol I really did need the pick-me-up ;P I'm such a hopeless sap, and this story can really be heavy at times.

 

Well, that's all for tonight. Later all.

 

Shadow