InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Wake Me Up Inside ❯ Chapter 5 ( Chapter 5 )

Wake Me Up Inside

Chapter 5

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Author's note: This chapter is a special chapter written for all of you sap lovers out there. Since Inuyasha is stuck in suspended animation for most of this story, I thought it only fair to give him a chapter all his own. Though Kagome will not hear of his thoughts till the day he wakes up, for you readers, I shall create a window into his soul and mind. This chapter is written entirely from his point of view as he is forced to lie in silent endurance of this latest chapter in his life. Enjoy.

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For a long time, I lay in darkness and silence without knowledge of who and where I was, nor why I was there. Then, the day the beads appeared around the neck of this body I reside within, the first lock on the door of my dungeon was thrown into release. Behind it's departure came the arrival of the first breath of new life to this soul of mine. Carried in that breath was my identity, the first key to life. I remembered the hanyou I had been and why I was now floating in all consuming stillness. I was waiting. I was waiting for the one woman who could breathe life back into this hollow shell I have become.

Slowly, as days went on, more and more bits and pieces of the outside world were allowed into my perception. Smells began to fill my nose. I could smell people and medicines. From that, I gathered I was in some kind of place for healing. Sounds then slowly filled my ears till I could hear the voices of the people around me. They were the men and women who watched over me day and night while my soul remained trapped in this cage deep within the recesses of my own mind.

Eventually, as I lay there day after day contemplating my existence, I began to recall another life I had led. A life separate from the one I had led as a hanyou. These new memories that slowly dripped back into me were of a life led completely in modern times as a regular human boy totally unawares of anything special he might possess. Like the way Kagome was connected to Kikyou through aspects of her family, so to was this boy named Yue connected to the hanyou's past by the thread of family. His family had come to the far west to settle and bask in its riches. I think perhaps the family that Yue has may very well be the same people that the hanyou had. Even the name Taisho survived to become attached to Yue as surname.

As I lay here thinking, I realize why this was done to me. I realize why Yue was made to suffer through such a terrible car wreak to come out physically fine yet mentally stuck in suspended animation. During the time I have spent lying in this bed, the hanyou I had been was gallivanting around in Kagome's time. Fate had set up this interesting twist of events merely so that my soul would have no chance of encountering itself. Fate learned from Kikyou and Kagome, that was never a good thing.

The day the rosary appeared around Yue's neck, was the day the hanyou known as Inuyasha ceased to exist in Japan's feudal era, and, thus, was transferred to the vessel that was my next incarnation. Kagome never did remember anything from Kikyou's life. However, my situation was different. I had asked for this to happen. In my final moments in the Sengoku Jedai, I had asked the Shikon to Tama to right the wrongs that had been done to the many souls that suffered in its abuse. I realized there was no other wish it could grant but that. So, in its end, I imagine that's what it did. Those who had innocently met ill-fortune through association with it, were taken and placed were they belong. That piece of Kikyou's soul that remained behind was allowed to finally rest at peace. Other lives were born to start anew.

I'm not sure why the Shikon no tama allowed me to retain my identity from the past. Then again, maybe Yue was made out of pieces of my human side, and thus, in order to become complete, needed the part of me that was Inuyasha. Maybe that's why I remember both lives. Because Yue and Inuyasha are essentially one in the same. Now, I am left to wonder if all that I had built within myself: my power, my strength, my passion, my endurance, would maybe someday return to me. Then again, I also had to wonder at the price to pay for all of this. I pray that it will be a price I can afford to pay and still achieve happiness.

To me, someone who's so fiercely independent, being helpless and prone as I am is extremely embarrassing. As days pass, I grow to secretly know those who surround me in my hour of need. The voices and scents become memorized. I learn who works here and who is only passing through. A few strangers pop in to gawk every once in a while. To each of those who only seek to stare, my mind spits out 'Go to hell!' Though, of course, none of them can ever hear me. No one here can.

There is one scent and voice that I come to know best. She is one who has been beside this stricken body of mine since I arrived here, selflessly giving her time to take care of me and see that I survive. The people around here call her Beth. She is one of the main nurses working here. I believe it was she who started calling me Romeo. I admit, I was irritated by it at first. But, the more I thought, the more I realized how well it fit. I was one who sacrificed myself for the love a woman whom the world in which I was born had in the end forbade me to remain beside.

Over time, I grew to enjoy Beth's company. She visited me often, whether it be to do her daily chores or to just sit and talk to me. She would tell me about her life and about the things going on elsewhere in the world. I could sense the sorrow and sympathy she felt for the position I am in. Though she knew next to nothing about who I am, she still cared enough to try and help me. No matter how long I am here for, I came to realize she will be beside me till the day I wake. Like a close friend whom I never met or a sister I never had, she is there beside me to let me know that though life is hard and still for me right now, I am not alone. Someday, when I have the ability, I intend to thank her for that.

The day when my soul is to be released from this prison draws ever nearer. I can feel it coming now. It is only a matter of time. Kagome. I know you are here now. I smelt you the first time you entered my room. There aren't words to express my joy at smelling your scent and hearing your voice. My soul grew warm and I yearned to be nearer to you.

I heard the song you played and my soul danced with glee to its beat. I heard and felt you take part in one of Beth's daily rituals with me and, inwardly, I smiled. To feel your touch after all this time of waiting is like a taste of heaven. The simple caresses you give me later as you spend time alone at my side make my soul blush and glow at the same time.

I know you are sad now as you see me like this. When you return to me later in the day, I feel your tears upon me. Part of me twists in pain to see you cry. Part of me glows with the knowledge that it is me you cry for. But Kagome, my Kagome, I'm happy. I'm happy because you're back at my side, and I know, this time, you won't be leaving without me.

As you part from me that night, you find a way to surprise me. I expected one of our simple hugs at best. As you kiss my cheek, I realize that you have grown. You aren't the bashful school girl who pulled the arrow from my chest. You're a young woman who never lost the feelings you had for me. When you remind yourself of that, I am reminded just how deep our love goes as you give me a second kiss, the kiss a lover says softly goodnight with. In that kiss, I sense the same as you. I smell you. I taste you. I hear you. I feel you. Somewhere in my mind's eye, I can even see you through the sakura pink aura your miko's soul emits. Inside the most private part of my soul, for once, I feel like crying. Not for sadness. No, quite the opposite. I am happier now than I have been in a long time. When you say 'good night' to me, even though I know you can't hear me, I say 'good night' in return.

The next day, I am ecstatic when you return. My spirit laughs when you berate me for not pulling my usual trick. You know damn well if I were able to, I would have fetched you long ago, wench. Time spent without you is almost unbearable to me.

Inside, I smile when I find you repeating the tasks you did yesterday. I smile even more as I listen to you and Beth hit off what I know will be an everlasting friendship. She's cool, isn't she? Part of me wonders if she isn't someone we've met before. Maybe you'll figure it out. You've always been a smart girl. That's one of the many things I like about you.

Again, you make me smile when you hug me from behind. I can feel the beat of your heart against me and the heat of your body engulf me. I know I am only just a soul locked away inside the dungeon of this body's mind, but can you feel me? As I hug you back through the barrier that holds me here, can you feel me? I know you can. I can feel your body tremble as you hold me in your arms. But do you realize that it is me talking the only way I can? Kagome.. my Kagome.. I am here. And I love you too.

Beth, as for you, the day will come when I will get to pay you back for all those pictures you've taken of me. Oh yes, revenge, when it comes, shall be sweet.

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Penguine: I know it's short but, hey, yall got some of your questions answered. And, you got to hear from our favorite hanyou. Double goodness. Regular point of view and storyline will resume in the next chapter.