InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ War's Shadow ❯ Expression ( Chapter 15 )
[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]
By: Kardeya 
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Adventure / Action / Romance | Type: Continuation | Uploaded On: 07.08.2005 | Pages: 5 | Words: 8.8K | Visits: 203 | Status: Completed
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Adventure / Action / Romance | Type: Continuation | Uploaded On: 07.08.2005 | Pages: 5 | Words: 8.8K | Visits: 203 | Status: Completed
15 - Expression
Now that it was over, he, too, was surprised at his actions. It was certainly a first, as he had never done anything that had ever even been suggestive of aiding a human in all of his centuries of existence. But the rage that had seized him during their brief fight had left him, washed out of him in that one moment, and he had acted instinctively. It had been quite an interesting predicament, and an even more fascinating decision, finding a way to keep her from splattering at the bottom of the canyon. That had been the easiest part, actually; retaining his senses enough to pull them out had been the challenge. It had been a nasty collision, and trying to gain control in a heavy current while wearing an unfortunate amount of armor, as well as encumbered by the weight of an utterly senseless female had made the situation especially difficult. Still, his plan had worked ... even if it had been damned inconvenient.
A caressing night wind swept across his face, disturbing his now freely-hanging hair, bringing his head up to glance at his unconscious companion who was sprawled out on the rocky slope beside him, completely unaware that her life had been saved by someone who had seriously considered ending it just hours earlier. She owed him for this one. Taking the brunt of the impact had been hard on him; he felt like an old man, hunched over, drying off, and waiting for whatever made it painful to sit up straight to repair itself. And he prayed to whatever listened that Sesshoumaru wouldn't try to come find him. How in hell would he explain this? It made him look … ugh, the word … nice? God, no, not that one … less opposed to her existence, yes, that was more acceptable.
I saved her scrawny, worthless little life. What is wrong with me? I've been hanging around Inutaisho's brats too much, that's my problem. It was his first spontaneous rescue and he wasn't sure if he somewhat liked the idea or was utterly appalled at himself for having done it.
Exhaling a breath, he leaned awkwardly back against the sloping ground, drying hair plastered to his face, eyeing the velvety, star-pricked sky overhead. He had a few brief seconds of honesty with himself here and there, short instances when he was glad that they were both still here. He just wasn't certain why that was, just like he wasn't sure why he hadn't spared himself the fall entirely by simply releasing her to her death.
Why? It was like some thick, impenetrable wall was blocking him from understanding his own actions. Her words from the night she had brought him the letter resurfaced, the ones where she had declared that they were friends, and he had brushed that off. Friends with a human? Absolutely out of the question. He wasn't her friend; he had been about to slay the idiot woman at the top of that cliff. She, too, had seemed entirely ready to try for another attempt at killing him, but something …..
I'm thinking too much, he thought in irritation. He looked over at her again. Her hair had become completely dislodged from its ornament and was draped over her like a dark, feathery blanket. Her face was completely peaceful; clearly no activity was going on over there. He briefly considered poking her back to wakefulness, but, truly, did not feel like moving a whole lot himself.
Why am I waiting for her at all? She's alive; she can figure the rest out when she wakes up. I did the hard part.
But he was going to wait. Why? … he did not know nor did he care particularly much. It was just what he was going to do. Besides, she owed him a groveling thank you. Yes, that would make it partially worth it, to see that strange woman and her pride dismantle themselves in appreciation for his bizarre attempt at what had been dangerously close to a selfless act. There had to be some reason why his brother had always so loved doing such things just for the sake of being kind. There had to be something about it that he had always missed.
He lost track of time, of how long they lay there like that, side by side, two bodies, one unable to move and one equally unwilling. He might have even fallen asleep, though he would not fully admit to that, but suddenly his eyes popped back open and he listened to the river's steady progress just feet away from him as it washed out all other sound except for that of his name.
When he turned his head toward her again he found her exactly as before, except this time her eyes were open and dark, bleary, and staring at him as though, she too, was pondering the likelihood of imagined figments. He instantly hardened his expression into something more forbidding and pointed two long, broken-clawed fingers into her face.
"Two swords," he stated sternly.
"Hmm?" she murmured in complete disorientation.
"You owe me two swords. Nice ones. And if you break them again, I will make you consume their shattered remains, do I make myself clear?"
He eyed her as she shoved herself up to her elbows and regarded their surroundings with complete bewilderment.
"We're pretty far downstream. It took me a while to get us out," he explained as though making a pronouncement about the weather. He watched as she moved like an elderly woman and gingerly touched a hand to a quickly-bruising head wound.
"Most of your damage came from me, ironically enough," he said, pointing to a nearly identical and rapidly healing abrasion on his own forehead. "You have a hard head, but mine is harder. Beats drowning, though, I suppose, eh?" He frowned at her lack of response, tone taking on a note of complaint. "You're not even hearing me, are you?"
She lightly shook her head and forced her half-focused eyes back on him. "What?"
He heaved a heavy, exasperated sigh and pushed himself back to his feet. "Come on, let's go. I'm not going to sit here all night and try to make conversation with a mindless invalid. Or are you staying here?"
Zadi stared blankly at him, as though she was close to a response, but not quite gathering the words. She had the air of someone who was sleep-walking and, really, she was quite pathetic-looking; bloody, bedraggled, and clearly her muddled brain was not functioning even up to its most basic ineptitude. It was then that his mind compared her to a sort of stray pet, one that you fed in some moment of spare sympathy and then were never quite able to be rid of because it kept returning.
He knelt and stared at her, eyes slitting in consideration over precisely what to do with her. Yes, he decided, she was something like a pet; a filthy, sopping wet thing, and, obviously, one not best left to its own devices. "Are you coming with me or are you rotting here?" he repeated slowly, as though for someone simple-minded.
Inutaisho, why did you bother with them? he wondered, a question that had been recurring to him more and more often lately. They were nothing like youkai women ... they were weak-hearted, weak-willed, weak-bodied. Suppressing a growl of frustration, Kanaye got back to his feet, expression haughty as he eyed the woman. Wordlessly, he turned and began walking away, the only sounds the churning flow of the river and his own booted feet scratching along the thin, gravelly path.
Heh ... friendship, eh? Perhaps now she will see how much that truly counts to a youkai. The feelings of a human ... they are insignificant, unwelcome, and naive.
Eizan's people can come find her ... and it was then that he halted himself and cursed to the empty night. She smelled like him now, positively reeked of him. If that wasn't a dead giveaway to what precisely had aided her survival, then Eizan was even more of an idiot than had already been displayed. Without conscious thought, Kanaye's feet turned back around and walked him right to where he had started from. As expected, she was where he had left her, except without his forced interaction she had obviously given up any claim to awareness and was back to clutching the ground in an attempt at brainless slumber.
You are far more trouble than you are worth, he sighed to himself. Bending over her prone form, he rolled her over onto her back, grasped her by the arms, and pulled her up, ignoring her protestations. "Come on, woman. I have wasted enough time on you tonight," he grumbled as her feet refused to remain solidly adhered to the ground. Her arms slowly threaded around his neck and he gave in, "Is that how you want it? Fine, as long as we move."
"Kanaye," she said his name with sudden clarity, as though just realizing he was present.
He adjusted her weight in his arms and turned his head to stare forbiddingly into her face. "What?"
"Are you hurt?" she murmured.
He gaped at her in what he was sure was some slack-jawed expression. "Who's carrying who, idiot? Start piecing your damned brain back together." At least she smells good, he consoled himself. Yes, there was that, at least. "You have no concept of how much you owe me," he muttered, and truly, she did not, because she quickly succumbed once more to that dark void.
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"How far do you think he could have been carried?" Rin wondered aloud, making an effort to speak above the noise of the river. Sesshoumaru was standing very still and staring straight ahead, a stance she had come to associate with him tuning into his senses. Sheer, dusty walls of rock encapsulated them on two sides, boxing them into the narrow canyon. The worn ground beneath her had barely enough room for her feet, and so she wondered if Kanaye had been able to pull himself out at all.
"There's no way of knowing. It's a fast current, and water carries away scent."
"Can ... youkai drown?"
He glanced at her, "Depending on the type, yes, but it takes far longer. If he was conscious at all, I do not see how that could have happened."
"Hey, Sesshoumaru!" Inuyasha's voice echoed loudly from further downstream, and both Rin and Sesshoumaru looked up at the sound. Even with the aid of some moonlight, Inuyasha was invisible to her sight, but he seemed to have caught Sesshoumaru's attention.
"What is it?"
"It looks like he found some of Kanaye's armor." Without vocal warning, Sesshoumaru grabbed Rin around the waist and leapt back into the air. The collision of water against rocks sent a spray into the wind that coated them like a fine mist. Dark and light hair blew together in a tangled frenzy that halted suddenly when Sesshoumaru returned to the ground and released his hold on her. Rin turned to find Inuyasha inspecting a piece of shiny, cracked metal.
"Looks like part of his shoulder armor. Damn, how hard did he hit something to break it? We may just be finding pieces of the old man here," Inuyasha deduced, but Sesshoumaru was faintly shaking his head.
"He was here. He's been gone for a while, since it's fading." His eyebrows quirked into a curious expression. "And Zadi was with him."
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It was frustrating, this constant fading, but she supposed a lot of it was to blame on the crackling fire that was burning just across from her. It sent out warm currents of air, like massaging fingertips that made it so nice to just close her eyes again and doze off. She did this repeatedly, and each time she woke up she felt as though she was experiencing the same moment, even the same thoughts, continuously to the point of disorientation.
The only thing that made her understand that she was not caught in some eternal loop of half-awareness was the sporadic movement of the demon. Every time she opened her eyes, he was doing something different ... breaking up bits of wood in a fit of boredom, then tossing them in to be consumed by the flames ... hovering over her, face a surly mask of annoyance, saying words she could not remember ... appearing to doze while seated against the tree across from her, face lighted to a dusky orange by the fire ... stretching awkwardly, as though working a kink out of his muscles ... and this time, when she came back, it was because he was doing something that was hurting like hell and royally pissing her off.
She opened her eyes to find him hanging over her, bare-chested and with a very intent expression, one of frowning concentration. As soon as he saw that she was watching him, his face morphed into pure displeasure. The smell of burned flesh hung in the air, as did her desire to shriek at him for whatever agony he was producing. Whatever he had done, it had certainly brought her out of that half-sleep. She was certain that she, as well as her screaming nerve endings, had never been more fully aware in her entire life.
"I don't know how you're going to explain this one, but they're stupid; they'll probably believe you if you tell them you did it yourself." He drew back, allowing her to see the fading red glow of his heated knife blade. "Cauterized," he explained. "I got you good with that sword swing. You've been bleeding out like a decapitated chicken."
She felt her face wrinkle up at this nauseating description.
"But you're a tough little witch, I'll give you credit for that much," he finished, shoving the knife's blade back into the flames. "Is your brain still scrambled?" He smirked at her, appearing very sly in doing so. "The things you say while half-coherent are fascinating. I think I prefer you that way."
"What'd I say?" she asked slowly, not at all liking the look he was giving her.
"I'll spare you the embarrassment, but you do like me very much, don't you?" he questioned with something between feigned innocence and evil glee, appearing disgustingly pleased with himself.
She turned her head to look away from him, not sure what to say to that ... and noticed that a mortifying amount of her upper body was on open display. Gritting her teeth, she quickly shoved her arm back through her sleeve and turned an expression of pained appall in his direction.
"Don't look so offended. It's not like I've never seen anything of the sort before."
"Kanaye!"
He shrugged his bare shoulders. "Be offended if you like then. It was necessary. After all I did, I'd be damned if you dropped dead from a stupid sword wound."
All he did .... It was as though her brain suddenly lurched back to full capacity, and she remembered that dizzying fall, the awkward hanging from the cliff's edge with his hand wrapped around her arm in an unbreakable grip, and then that second sickening plummet that had somehow gotten her to wherever they were now. Her fingers clenched involuntarily, as though trying to grasp some sort of security again. Her head came back up and she looked at him fully. Beyond appreciating his innate perfection, despite the lingering signs that that perfection had been temporarily marred by a terrible collision, there was something she felt ... something she recalled feeling in those long seconds of that fall, when she hadn't been as opposed to the possibility of her own death because he had been willingly with her. Perfectly solid, unswerving, unimpressed, unforgiving, foul-mouthed, dark-hearted, mean-spirited ... Kanaye had been the benefactor of the kindest thing that had ever been done for her.
She just sat very still, propped up against a tree, contentedly warm enough to ignore the scratching of bark poking into her back and the odd thumping of her throbbing shoulder, allowing her thoughts to filter through. He clearly became bored of watching her watch him and began moving restlessly around again. She noticed that his haori was hanging out to dry, as though it had been washed out. His hair was hanging loose, just as Sesshoumaru tended to wear his, a silky white curtain that hung all the way down his back. She felt an odd, barely repressible urge to touch it ....
He finally stopped and settled down at the tree next to her, moving stiffly as though bothered. His face turned up toward the sky, likely judging how much night was left, or perhaps the amount of time until he would be free of her ....
"Your armor ..."
"It shattered," he revealed, glancing at her.
"I'm sorry."
"I'm not overly sentimental. It performed its function."
She continued to watch his profile, feeling some sort of odd clenching in her chest. "Are you all right?" she inquired politely, but he did not answer, apparently finished with conversing. She allowed the silence to fall and leaned her head back to watch the same night he seemed to be so fascinated with. It was pitch dark, only the fire allowing her to differentiate between the tree tops and the sky, a velvety coating of blackness, oddly comforting after the unbelievable chaos of earlier in the day. Her thoughts went briefly to Keito and his army, and wondered how they had fared; considered the possibility that they believed she was dead. Perhaps she wouldn't have to return .... She stopped that thought cold, turning to look at Kanaye who appeared to be relaxing, eyes half-closed, as if lured away by the soothing warmth of the fire. She would go back. She had something to finish for him. He was counting on her to help him with Sashe ....
There was some magnetic force that made her move, forced her stiff, aching muscles to uncoil enough to move toward him. He glanced briefly at her, and then away, not protesting or welcoming her as she situated herself beside him. Like the fire, he radiated his own heat, something she could feel just by allowing her fingers to hover over his arm, like some strange, comforting current. He made no comment about her odd actions, likely writing them off to her addled mind, but she understood what he did not, and that was that she was fully in control of herself again, more so than she could recall being in a long time.
"Thank you ... Kanaye."
Again he did not respond, but she heard him exhale a deep breath, watched his hand unclench. The claws on that hand had been broken during their hurtling descent and his attempt to stop it. She shivered again at the memory, terrifying, exhilarating ....
"Sashe's mother ....," Zadi found herself saying quietly, and these were words that brought his head up. "Does she know?"
"I can't find her. I don't know where she is," he revealed. "I sent my retainer to my younger daughter, Shinya ... she'll be able to find her and let her know."
Zadi frowned at the strangeness of his statement and felt an unmistakable undercurrent of ... dismay ... that the woman apparently still existed. "You can't find her? Isn't she your wife?"
He made a sound that was something between a growl and a sarcastic laugh. "I wouldn't call her that. You see," and he turned a liquid amber gaze on her, his face just inches from her own as he said with great irony, "the woman who gave birth to my children wholeheartedly dislikes me."
Zadi blinked at him, hearing the faint undertone of bitterness and self-deprecation. "Why?"
"Why?" he repeated incredulously, eyes widening. "You did suffer quite a trauma, didn't you?"
"You work very hard to make people hate you, don't you?" she queried with obvious sadness.
His eyes were locked onto hers with rampant fascination. "It's not hard work. It's natural. I do not alter my behavior to suit or benefit others. My mate … if I am still able to call her that … is a soft-hearted woman who sees few circumstances that warrant violence, and that is because she has been protected for her entire life, from her father's home to mine. She has never had to lift a finger to defend herself because she's been fortunate enough to have people around her who see to that necessity on her behalf. She despises me for the things I do and often, with her heart as judge, rightfully so, but she does not understand that in these times and with the growing tension between youkai and humans, it is often best to strike preemptively in order to prevent violence from finding you at a time that is less convenient. My brother felt differently; he did not react until danger came to him and, eventually, it caught up with him." He smiled faintly then in a manner that was humorless. "I do not care what others think of or feel for me because when their self-righteous little hearts are rotting in the ground, I will still be here."
Slowly digesting his words, Zadi remained very quiet for a while before saying, "You are known for doing terrible things."
"There are reasons for that. I do what others perceive as terrible things. I have reasons for everything I do."
She turned her head and locked a blue stare on him. "Why did you save me?"
He smirked at her. "I failed to mention that my reasons are my business." The smirk faded some when she turned toward him; his expression falling into careful neutrality as she reached her hand out, letting her fingertips lightly graze the side of his face.
"What … the hell are you doing?" he asked, though the sentence was more surprised and curious than scolding.
She smiled at him, something between innocent and mischievous, and let her fingers do what they had so wanted to earlier when she had been watching him. They threaded unapologetically into his hair, rubbing the soft strands between her scraped fingertips. "I have my reasons," she said, imitating his imperiousness.
"You really need to learn your place," he said stiffly, but his face did not leave hers, so fascinated was he by what he was seeing. There is definitely something wrong with this woman ….
"I'm finding it," she replied with whispery certainty, feeling strangely buoyed by her actions. Her fingers moved up to explore his ear and it was at that point that he caught her wrist.
"You'll find something you're not healthy enough for if you keep it up," he said, eyes darkening with warning and even he paused to consider precisely what he meant by those words. He settled for just glaring at her, particularly when she plastered a grin across her face.
"I'm not the only one with a crush," she boldly accused.
He snorted at that claim, releasing her wrist. "You're fucking in love with me, idiot," he announced with the pure satisfaction of unadulterated ego.
"And how would you know such a thing?"
"Because you told me. Repeatedly," he informed her with what appeared to be malicious glee, the wicked humor fading from his face as he looked up and away from her. "Shit," he cursed.
"What?" she asked, picking up on the sudden change in mood.
"They're coming," he announced grimly, as though expressing invitation to a funeral. Without further comment, he stood and moved away from her, reaching for the still-damp haori and slinging it on. His annoyance grew when the thing clung to him like a damp, cold second skin; he glanced back at Zadi, who was watching him intently. He briefly wondered what was going through that muddled head of hers …
True to taiyoukai form, Sesshoumaru did not arrive so much as just appear suddenly. His face was expressionless, as always, but Kanaye knew him well enough to recognize that shrewd look that was staring back at him, accusing, as though having caught Kanaye in the act of something he was never going to be allowed to live down.
"Sesshoumaru," Kanaye greeted with bland innocence, "I suppose the remainder of the battle went your way." Kanaye's head tilted, a long wave of white hair swinging with the motion as he peered around Sesshoumaru to watch Inuyasha's embarrassingly loud arrival, and that of the women behind him. "Nice shot, half-breed. I'll owe you for that one."
Inuyasha snorted derisively. "Nice catch, moron," he retorted, eyes flickering meaningfully to Zadi. "Or did she summon up the ability to fly?"
Kanaye shrugged, not allowing himself to be baited. "She's like a cockroach," he airily proclaimed, ignoring the stabbing glare she sent in his direction. "No matter what you do, you just can't quite kill her."
Sesshoumaru nodded silently, as though coming to some internal decision. "It was rather easy following that trail of hypocrisy you're exuding, Kanaye," he stated with barely veiled sarcasm. "I expect to be spared any further comments from you in the future."
"Ahhh, Sesshoumaru," Kanaye sighed, as though exasperated with himself, "I fear I am prone to disappointing expectations, but I will add the accusation of hypocrisy to my long list of faults."
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When Jaken arrived with a sleepy human Ashitera, Sesshoumaru was seated apart from the others, watching them, but feeling the familiar siege of restlessness that tended to come to him at night. After complaining about Rin and Kagome's attempts to patch up Zadi with the first aid kit ("She has to be convincing when she goes back, you idiots. What? She just managed to come across such things on her own?"), Kanaye disappeared into the forest. Sesshoumaru assumed he intended to heal in quiet misery, as he was clearly hurting in some manner. It was probably damaging enough to his pride that everyone assumed, and rightly so, that the injury had been sustained in the act of aiding a human. Sesshoumaru was surprised his ego hadn't exploded from sheer revulsion of such an action.
By the time the later morning hours began to set in, nearly everyone was settled into some semblance of sleep. Only the trailing ends of Zadi's hair were visible from where she was piled beneath a borrowed blanket. Inuyasha was nodding off at the base of a dying tree, Kagome wedged in beside him, covered by a thick sleeping bag. Jaken was positioned near the fire, his head dropping lower and lower, while Ashitera huddled under a blanket that was situated in a lump at his side. On her other side, the massive wolf was lying with his head on his paws, occasionally flicking his ears in response to sounds he did not fully recognize.
Most surprisingly, Rin was kneeling beside the wolf. Sesshoumaru watched her as she would, periodically and very tentatively, reach a hand out and lightly touch the beast's fur, causing it to ripple under her fingertips. She finally looked up when she felt his eyes on her and smiled at him. Something in him reached a decision and he got to his feet, approaching her with an extended hand. Wordlessly, he pulled her away from the fire's warmth, and she, too, didn't speak until they were safely out of earshot of the others.
"Is something wrong?" she whispered, watching as he quietly shook his head. She accepted that and adjusted his hand so that she could thread her fingers around his. He seemed very peaceful and at ease, despite the difficulties of earlier in the evening, so she decided to just enjoy being with him.
She allowed him to lead her as they wended their way around large flat-leafed bushes, jagged-edged fronds, and some scrubbier growth that made her ankles itch. He clearly knew where he was going because even as the night darkened around them to the point where the only evident, solid thing was his hand, he guided them on unswervingly until Rin was able to look out at a sprawling reflection of the night sky.
She looked at him questioningly, as though suspecting his motives. "I smell like that youkai from today, don't I?"
"Not for much longer," he calmly informed her. He was feeling strangely light-hearted, like something had been lifted off of him. In some tenuous way, it was linked to his own suspicions of Kanaye's actions concerning Zadi. Kanaye himself might not yet understand why it was that he had done such a thing, but Sesshoumaru had a good idea of his motivation, mostly because he understood the depth of feeling it took for a youkai to act benevolently on the behalf of another, especially for a human. It was abhorrent, repulsive, and unacceptable to form an attachment with a human … and then, suddenly, there was that one human, prying out deeds and words and responses one did not even think themselves capable of. Before long, that attachment to the human was no longer dreaded, but craved.
Craving, yes, that was certainly the correct word. It described everything, particularly his obsessive growing need to just ….
Rin looked up from the glassy expanse of water when she felt his hand rest affectionately on her head, lightly stroking the fine strands.
"Sesshoumaru?" she questioned quietly, surprised by the sudden display.
He smiled faintly at her, looking angelic for a brief moment before his true intentions became evident… and then he began unclothing himself right there on the shore, pulling his arms free of his armor, then the sleeves, neatly folding the various articles of clothing before arranging them on the ground at his feet.
Rin nervously averted her eyes, but her own participation was rendered necessary when he began working on her clothing. Trying to calm her rapidly beating heart, she let him have his way as he gently assisted her in removing the garments until she realized that she was suddenly much colder, bare skin exposed to the night air. She exhaled a steady breath, trying to expel her nerves, and folded her arms around herself as he entered the water, looking like an ethereal being and, as always, completely at home in his own skin.
"I thought swimming was for children," she teased him with the explanation he had given to Ashitera.
He looked back at her, eyes glittering with a feral light. "We won't be swimming."
Of its own mind, her face began to blush, less because of the words and more because of the tone in which he had spoken him. She took a hesitant step down the gravelly, sloping bank, stepping in up to her ankles. Despite the heat from the day, the water was just cold enough to be uncomfortable to her skin, but her head rose and she watched the youkai who was waiting patiently, apparently unfazed by the water's chill.
She took a few more steps, but once the water got to her knees there was a steep drop off, one that kept her toes from being able to touch the dark bottom. Sesshoumaru, his great height advantage allowing him to walk where she could not, waded back toward her and caught her bare arms, dragging her toward him until they were pressed together, forcing all thoughts of chilly water out of Rin's mind. His skin was heated, something it willingly shared with her own, and she exhaled a contented sigh as hands circled comfortably around her waist, keeping her loosely against him.
"I can't touch here," she whispered, as though afraid to break the mood that had fallen between them. "Maybe we should move in closer."
"It doesn't matter," he replied. "I can and that is enough for both of us."
It was the warm way in which he said those words that made her wonder if they had another meaning, rumbling from his throat in some hypnotic fashion that suggested something between an endearment and a faint growl. She wondered if this was something he had planned, a way to make her accustomed to having his hands on her.
She let her body relax, melting against his chest, arms moving around his shoulders in a manner that mirrored the way his were circled around her hips, keeping her above water with him. His lips found her exposed throat and began trailing a line of kisses down the skin, confidently, lazily, as though he had all the time in the world and all the assurance that she was about to enjoy herself.
"What about the others?" she murmured languidly, finding that only a very far-off part of her mind even cared at this point. She supposed they could have an audience seated on the bank and she would not even notice.
"Scent does not adhere to water," he reminded her, leaving that as all the explanation that was necessary. He inhaled the smell of her skin, feeling his blood begin to pound at her response to him. Ah, be thankful I have admirable restraint, my girl …
A restraint she was unknowingly encouraging him to lose, as her legs made themselves comfortable by wrapping around his waist, anchoring herself so that she could reach his face. She began very tentatively kissing his left ear, giggling lightly when she worked a contented growl out of him.
Some things are just instinctual … human, youkai ….
His heart pounding full on with a wordless need, Sesshoumaru felt as though he was being slowly tortured and was glad of it. The girl, inexperienced though she was, was very adept at figuring things out on her own, and even better at things she wasn't aware she was doing. He kept a careful grasp on her hips and an even tighter hold on his instincts, inhaling deep breaths, consistently reminding himself that, though dog he might be, he was capable of repressing those screaming basic urges.
It was she who locked her lips on his first, shyly at first, accustomed to him taking the lead in such things, but she found herself quickly overcome as his mouth met hers in something more heated and passionate than she was accustomed to. She was quickly rendered breathless, the solid hammering of his heart reverberating from his skin to hers. She felt his hands tighten on her, claws gripping her legs in what was quickly becoming an uncomfortable manner.
"Sesshoumaru," she breathed his name, pulling back enough so that they were nearly nose to nose and she could watch his eyes. They were dark and possessive, something animalistic lingering underneath, muscles faintly shivering as though they were being repressed from performing the functions they wanted to.
He blinked at her, as though something inside him snapped back on … or off? she wondered. He loosened his grip on her, back to something more relaxed and comfortable.
"What's wrong?" she asked lightly, basking in that look of pure adoration and lust that had replaced the darkness of a moment before.
"Nothing," he said, and she noticed even his voice sounded different. "I can assure you that nothing is wrong." On the contrary … he exhaled a deep breath, suppressing those primal instincts once more. And so this was where one of their major differences came into play; he had been with his share of youkai women, but never a human. Humans simply were not built with youkai in mind as eventual mating partners and so … it could not be the same. Youkai blood was a burning, violent thing, something that had to be carefully reined in.
"Do I smell enough like you yet?" she questioned with a wide, mischievous smile.
"I'll let you know," he said noncommittally, resting his nose in her hair, inhaling a breath … the lingering smells of dust and that battle and that youkai were fading, becoming replaced by him, and just as it should be.
As if in response to that thought, he hugged her to him, caressing her bare skin with very slow, lingering fingers, clearing away the remnants of that northern bastard, both from her scent and his head. He supposed leaving her to Kanaye had been a good move … and well-timed. The outcome of that fight could have been very different ….
He pushed all thoughts away, all except the ones that centered on her, and as he continued holding her, separated from the world by a distance that was both physical and mental, he understood that some things would have to change. As much as he feared … fear? Yes, I suppose … the prospect of repeating his father's mistakes, it was moments like these that made him unwilling to waste the time he would have with her. One day when she was gone and he was alone again, he would be far more likely to regret that careful separation he placed between them than any mistake that could come of altering things ….
Separation. Heh … there is not so much of that as you like to credit yourself with, is there, Sesshoumaru-sama? he thought idly to himself as his arms circled more tightly around the girl, eyes half-closing in pure contentment and total submission to the curious, gentle movements of her fingers. It was amusing how utterly and wonderfully naïve she was. Nothing like those youkai women …. nothing at all ….
There was an inexpressible gratitude for that … and something else he could not quite name, though it thumped continuously at the back of his mind as his hands became familiar with every perfect inch, all of her nervousness gone now, washed away. He kissed her again, one that quickly grew from soft and expressive of his feelings to something less innocent, more demanding, and reminiscent of his resurging youkai blood.
Thankfully … or, perhaps, frustratingly? … his body's instincts were reined in once more, this time by something registering to his senses. He saw that her brown eyes were fixated on his face intently, wearing a lustful expression that he was entirely certain was mirrored back at her.
"You have been saved," he said humorously, his gaze regrettably leaving her face to look toward the shore. "She's moving around on her own, it seems."
"Ashitera?" Rin questioned, her face quickly flushing. "She's not nearby---"
"No," he said emphatically, "but she's heading in the wrong direction. Likely searching for you." His expression became faintly disapproving as he began moving them back toward shore, obviously irritated at the interruption.
Rin kissed his cheek, a feathery light touch that expressed her affection. "Thank you for keeping an ear open for her," she half-teased.
"It is difficult to ignore the amount of noise a human child of her age is capable of making." Though I would be sincerely willing to give it a try ….
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It was late the following day before Zadi finally summoned the will and enough energy to start the return trip to Eizan's castle. Kagome sent Inuyasha back to the scene of the battle in order to track down one of the now scattered and ownerless horses, Rin sent her off with food and a few friendly words, and Sesshoumaru ignored her thoroughly. Zadi wasn't certain why they were still lingering in that same place as the youkai lord struck her as someone of very little patience, but she assumed he was waiting for Kanaye to return. As, she could admit, was she.
As Zadi said her good-byes to Ashitera, her eyes kept surreptitiously falling around the forest, as though expecting him to be lurking nearby, watching, but she was disappointed. She shouldn't have been, really, since he was simply behaving true to form. His having saved her life did not also include rights to a farewell.
Even while she went about leading the plodding horse through the overgrown woods, Zadi would periodically, and very casually, look about. She wanted to see him; that much was undeniable, but when she reached the forest's edge and found nothing save a sprawling, flower-strewn valley and a majestic view of the looming mountains, she reoriented herself back to her purpose, her mission … and considered the best way to mount a horse one-handed.
She stared at the horse in open consternation, as though the animal was being purposefully unhelpful. It blinked liquid brown eyes back at her, appearing irreverent about her inconvenience.
"You still smell like me. Unless you can talk fast when you get there, you'd better wash it off," came a voice that startled her heart into a surprised lurch. She found Kanaye standing at a casual distance behind her, having reverted to his usual regal form; hair pulled back, clothes immaculate, and no sign that he had experienced anything more than mild irritation in the last day, save the obvious lack of armor. "Otherwise you're going to get a very rude reception."
"I'll bathe before I get there," she assured him. "I'm smarter than you think I am."
"I doubt it, but you're free to have your illusions."
She shook her head in humored exasperation, feeling that that intensely comfortable mood she'd shared with him the night before was suddenly very far off, a figment of her "scrambled brain" as he had dubbed it. "You seem back to your old, surly self today."
"I barely noticed. In fact, I'm considering doing it again just for its own sake," he coolly claimed.
"Liar."
"Quit calling me that."
She smiled at him, glad to see him despite himself. "Thanks for coming to see me off."
"That wasn't my purpose."
"Then what was?"
"Curiosity."
"About what?" she asked, her features marring with a frown.
"I intend to watch you attempt to mount that horse … and laugh loudly at the effort."
"You obnoxious bastard," she muttered, grasping the reins in her left hand. She carefully placed her foot and then swung herself up, feeling that it was less graceful than normal, but certainly not a humiliation. She glanced back at him triumphantly, but his arms were crossed and he was smirking at her again.
"You would have been standing here all day if I hadn't goaded you," he challenged airily. "Good luck finding your way back. I have little faith in your sense of direction," he stated, turning and leaving before she could summon up words fit for a reply.
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It took persistence to make her way back, and thankfully the trip was uneventful save for the unmitigated desire to find Eizan's castle and collapse for a week. She felt terrible, a feeling that worsened when she got within sight of the castle and found Kawahira approaching her out of nowhere, dressed in his usual foreboding way, all black and metal armor, like the antithesis of Kanaye.
That name jolted her every time she thought of it now. She felt like a stupid little girl, pining over some man who was too highly placed, too out-of-reach, but she was beyond help at this point. There must be something wrong with me, she thought forlornly as she eyed Kawahira's steady approach across the wind-swept grass. To be so besotted with such a fiendish creature. It was unreal, but also undeniable, and worst of all, he knew her feelings and ... what? Did he feel similarly for her? Did he feel? She didn't know. She had assumptions, but they were based on things that could be interpreted in other ways.
Shoving aside all thoughts about Kanaye, Zadi focused on Kawahira, repressing the image of the arrogant youkai, as though fearful he would somehow read her mind.
"Ah, Zadi, if anyone could return from the dead, it would be you," Kawahira called casually in greeting. "After hearing Keito recount the battle, we assumed you'd died. You look positively dreadful."
"Nice to see you, Kawahira," she said breezily as her horse trudged past him, her eyes focused intently on that despised place, the one she hated returning to, but it held a bed that belonged to her, temporarily at least, and she was absolutely going to get there as soon as was possible. She allowed herself a moment to miss the quiet, tranquil solitude of her home village. Clearly they were doing well enough without her, since she had heard nothing to suggest otherwise during her absence.
Kawahira seemed to take her hint for silence, but shadowed her all the way through the gates, past the stares of people she ignored, up the steps, each foot becoming heavier than the last. She felt like an old woman, aching down to the bones, and it was all made worse when she pushed through the doors only to find Eizan lurking in the front foyer, lording about as he was so capable of doing, putting out that aura of authority. Authority she didn't give a damn about.
"Zadi!" he called, and she steadfastly ignored him, tuned out the sounds of his steps trekking loudly across the floor in her wake, clearly following her. "Are you purposefully ignoring me?"
"I am trying my very best, Eizan," she exhaled wearily, turning to find him glowering unappreciatively at her words. "Is there something you need? If not, consider me indisposed for the remainder of the day."
She tried to move up another step, but was halted when his hand reached out and grabbed her arm, stilling her into place. She turned back to find his face, calm and calculated, watching her with interest.
"Do you intend on revealing precisely what miracle saved you from your fall? According to Keito, it was not survivable by human standards. I had not expected to see you again."
"Keito was wrong. And if he had bothered to check instead of fleeing in the face of his army's defeat, he would have noticed that I was fortunate enough not to fall the entire way," she shamelessly lied.
"And Kanaye?"
Her heart jolted again at the name, but she carefully kept her face level. "What about him?"
"Did he survive as well?"
Zadi allowed her exasperation to come through. "For the sake of future conflict, we can all hope he met his end. At the time, I was focused more on my own survival and less on what became of him. I cannot tell you one way or the other, but I was in the process of attempting to kill him when the incident occurred. Hopefully next time there will not be so much interference," she said, placing careful emphasis on that last word and eyeing Eizan with obvious maliciousness. "Now are we finished?"
Eizan backed down, clearly not liking the look in her eye. He nodded graciously, smiling to cover his annoyance at being brushed off. "I'll send up the physician."
"Don't bother," she muttered, again moving up the expansive staircase. "I will not apologize for the fate of the individual who comes to wake me."
Eizan watched her retreat until she was out of earshot, then turned upraised eyebrows to Kawahira who was looming a few steps away. "She's a scary bitch, isn't she?" he muttered with obvious ill will. "That creature can kill you with a look and doesn't even have the decency to die when a suitable circumstance presents itself." He shook his head exasperatedly. "At least she's still useful. And speaking of useful, I thought we decided that you were going to find Ryuujin?" Eizan questioned Kawahira, who chose simply to leave rather than comment.
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"Wow, Inuyasha!" Rin exclaimed, watching as the hanyou released a string of freshly-caught fish at her feet. He appeared very pleased with himself upon hearing her words, then paused to sling his arms back through the sleeves of his red fire rat's fur coat.
"They were begging for it," he insisted triumphantly. "And I get the big one!"
Rin quickly went about cleaning and skewering the fish, noticing out of the corner of her eye that she was gaining an audience in the form of Ashitera, the wolf, and, though attempting to appear above it all, Jaken as well. She set the skewers upright to roast in the flames across from the wild mushrooms she had found earlier, looking up from the task when she caught movement out of the corner of her eye.
Kanaye emerged from the forest, clearly having decided to finally return to them. She had not seen him at all since the night before, but had heard enough of Sesshoumaru's speculations about events with Zadi to watch him differently, wondering if there really was more to him than he tended to display. She wasn't convinced of that yet, but there was something she had been meaning to say to him.
Extracting the first smoked fish, she clutched the heated skewer in her hand and strode purposefully toward where he had seated himself, apart from the others as always, but looking like himself again, at least. His head came up at her approach, expression unwelcoming, but she did not allow that to stop her.
Wordlessly, she extended the fish to him and he eyed her as though she had just brandished a weapon. "What are you doing?" he questioned in a manner that suggested both her sanity and motives were suspect.
"I'm trying to feed you," she claimed, still extending the skewer. "I don't think you've eaten recently."
He looked away from her as though dismissing her presence entirely, but she was undeterred. "This isn't charity, Kanaye. This is gratitude."
"Gratitude?" he repeated as though she had just flung a dirty word at him, turning back to eye her.
"For training me the other day. You're right. You are a good teacher," she said, smiling faintly. As unlikable as he was, he deserved to be thanked when the rare moment arose and she had completed her mission.
He finally pulled the skewered fish from her hand. "What's that supposed to mean?"
She ignored his question, instead returning to the fire and the smoking food. The wolf was seated, yellow eyes gazing over it all with obvious hunger. He welcomed her back with a thumping tail and a panting grin. Slyly checking over her shoulder for any sign of Inuyasha, Rin pulled the biggest fish off of the fire, removed it from the stick, and extended it to the wolf like a peace offering. As he moved to take it, though, she quickly lost her nerve and placed it on the ground for him.
"You're going to keep working on me until I like you, aren't you?" she lightly accused him, watching as he wasted no time in consuming his dinner.
Now that it was over, he, too, was surprised at his actions. It was certainly a first, as he had never done anything that had ever even been suggestive of aiding a human in all of his centuries of existence. But the rage that had seized him during their brief fight had left him, washed out of him in that one moment, and he had acted instinctively. It had been quite an interesting predicament, and an even more fascinating decision, finding a way to keep her from splattering at the bottom of the canyon. That had been the easiest part, actually; retaining his senses enough to pull them out had been the challenge. It had been a nasty collision, and trying to gain control in a heavy current while wearing an unfortunate amount of armor, as well as encumbered by the weight of an utterly senseless female had made the situation especially difficult. Still, his plan had worked ... even if it had been damned inconvenient.
A caressing night wind swept across his face, disturbing his now freely-hanging hair, bringing his head up to glance at his unconscious companion who was sprawled out on the rocky slope beside him, completely unaware that her life had been saved by someone who had seriously considered ending it just hours earlier. She owed him for this one. Taking the brunt of the impact had been hard on him; he felt like an old man, hunched over, drying off, and waiting for whatever made it painful to sit up straight to repair itself. And he prayed to whatever listened that Sesshoumaru wouldn't try to come find him. How in hell would he explain this? It made him look … ugh, the word … nice? God, no, not that one … less opposed to her existence, yes, that was more acceptable.
I saved her scrawny, worthless little life. What is wrong with me? I've been hanging around Inutaisho's brats too much, that's my problem. It was his first spontaneous rescue and he wasn't sure if he somewhat liked the idea or was utterly appalled at himself for having done it.
Exhaling a breath, he leaned awkwardly back against the sloping ground, drying hair plastered to his face, eyeing the velvety, star-pricked sky overhead. He had a few brief seconds of honesty with himself here and there, short instances when he was glad that they were both still here. He just wasn't certain why that was, just like he wasn't sure why he hadn't spared himself the fall entirely by simply releasing her to her death.
Why? It was like some thick, impenetrable wall was blocking him from understanding his own actions. Her words from the night she had brought him the letter resurfaced, the ones where she had declared that they were friends, and he had brushed that off. Friends with a human? Absolutely out of the question. He wasn't her friend; he had been about to slay the idiot woman at the top of that cliff. She, too, had seemed entirely ready to try for another attempt at killing him, but something …..
I'm thinking too much, he thought in irritation. He looked over at her again. Her hair had become completely dislodged from its ornament and was draped over her like a dark, feathery blanket. Her face was completely peaceful; clearly no activity was going on over there. He briefly considered poking her back to wakefulness, but, truly, did not feel like moving a whole lot himself.
Why am I waiting for her at all? She's alive; she can figure the rest out when she wakes up. I did the hard part.
But he was going to wait. Why? … he did not know nor did he care particularly much. It was just what he was going to do. Besides, she owed him a groveling thank you. Yes, that would make it partially worth it, to see that strange woman and her pride dismantle themselves in appreciation for his bizarre attempt at what had been dangerously close to a selfless act. There had to be some reason why his brother had always so loved doing such things just for the sake of being kind. There had to be something about it that he had always missed.
He lost track of time, of how long they lay there like that, side by side, two bodies, one unable to move and one equally unwilling. He might have even fallen asleep, though he would not fully admit to that, but suddenly his eyes popped back open and he listened to the river's steady progress just feet away from him as it washed out all other sound except for that of his name.
When he turned his head toward her again he found her exactly as before, except this time her eyes were open and dark, bleary, and staring at him as though, she too, was pondering the likelihood of imagined figments. He instantly hardened his expression into something more forbidding and pointed two long, broken-clawed fingers into her face.
"Two swords," he stated sternly.
"Hmm?" she murmured in complete disorientation.
"You owe me two swords. Nice ones. And if you break them again, I will make you consume their shattered remains, do I make myself clear?"
He eyed her as she shoved herself up to her elbows and regarded their surroundings with complete bewilderment.
"We're pretty far downstream. It took me a while to get us out," he explained as though making a pronouncement about the weather. He watched as she moved like an elderly woman and gingerly touched a hand to a quickly-bruising head wound.
"Most of your damage came from me, ironically enough," he said, pointing to a nearly identical and rapidly healing abrasion on his own forehead. "You have a hard head, but mine is harder. Beats drowning, though, I suppose, eh?" He frowned at her lack of response, tone taking on a note of complaint. "You're not even hearing me, are you?"
She lightly shook her head and forced her half-focused eyes back on him. "What?"
He heaved a heavy, exasperated sigh and pushed himself back to his feet. "Come on, let's go. I'm not going to sit here all night and try to make conversation with a mindless invalid. Or are you staying here?"
Zadi stared blankly at him, as though she was close to a response, but not quite gathering the words. She had the air of someone who was sleep-walking and, really, she was quite pathetic-looking; bloody, bedraggled, and clearly her muddled brain was not functioning even up to its most basic ineptitude. It was then that his mind compared her to a sort of stray pet, one that you fed in some moment of spare sympathy and then were never quite able to be rid of because it kept returning.
He knelt and stared at her, eyes slitting in consideration over precisely what to do with her. Yes, he decided, she was something like a pet; a filthy, sopping wet thing, and, obviously, one not best left to its own devices. "Are you coming with me or are you rotting here?" he repeated slowly, as though for someone simple-minded.
Inutaisho, why did you bother with them? he wondered, a question that had been recurring to him more and more often lately. They were nothing like youkai women ... they were weak-hearted, weak-willed, weak-bodied. Suppressing a growl of frustration, Kanaye got back to his feet, expression haughty as he eyed the woman. Wordlessly, he turned and began walking away, the only sounds the churning flow of the river and his own booted feet scratching along the thin, gravelly path.
Heh ... friendship, eh? Perhaps now she will see how much that truly counts to a youkai. The feelings of a human ... they are insignificant, unwelcome, and naive.
Eizan's people can come find her ... and it was then that he halted himself and cursed to the empty night. She smelled like him now, positively reeked of him. If that wasn't a dead giveaway to what precisely had aided her survival, then Eizan was even more of an idiot than had already been displayed. Without conscious thought, Kanaye's feet turned back around and walked him right to where he had started from. As expected, she was where he had left her, except without his forced interaction she had obviously given up any claim to awareness and was back to clutching the ground in an attempt at brainless slumber.
You are far more trouble than you are worth, he sighed to himself. Bending over her prone form, he rolled her over onto her back, grasped her by the arms, and pulled her up, ignoring her protestations. "Come on, woman. I have wasted enough time on you tonight," he grumbled as her feet refused to remain solidly adhered to the ground. Her arms slowly threaded around his neck and he gave in, "Is that how you want it? Fine, as long as we move."
"Kanaye," she said his name with sudden clarity, as though just realizing he was present.
He adjusted her weight in his arms and turned his head to stare forbiddingly into her face. "What?"
"Are you hurt?" she murmured.
He gaped at her in what he was sure was some slack-jawed expression. "Who's carrying who, idiot? Start piecing your damned brain back together." At least she smells good, he consoled himself. Yes, there was that, at least. "You have no concept of how much you owe me," he muttered, and truly, she did not, because she quickly succumbed once more to that dark void.
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"How far do you think he could have been carried?" Rin wondered aloud, making an effort to speak above the noise of the river. Sesshoumaru was standing very still and staring straight ahead, a stance she had come to associate with him tuning into his senses. Sheer, dusty walls of rock encapsulated them on two sides, boxing them into the narrow canyon. The worn ground beneath her had barely enough room for her feet, and so she wondered if Kanaye had been able to pull himself out at all.
"There's no way of knowing. It's a fast current, and water carries away scent."
"Can ... youkai drown?"
He glanced at her, "Depending on the type, yes, but it takes far longer. If he was conscious at all, I do not see how that could have happened."
"Hey, Sesshoumaru!" Inuyasha's voice echoed loudly from further downstream, and both Rin and Sesshoumaru looked up at the sound. Even with the aid of some moonlight, Inuyasha was invisible to her sight, but he seemed to have caught Sesshoumaru's attention.
"What is it?"
"It looks like he found some of Kanaye's armor." Without vocal warning, Sesshoumaru grabbed Rin around the waist and leapt back into the air. The collision of water against rocks sent a spray into the wind that coated them like a fine mist. Dark and light hair blew together in a tangled frenzy that halted suddenly when Sesshoumaru returned to the ground and released his hold on her. Rin turned to find Inuyasha inspecting a piece of shiny, cracked metal.
"Looks like part of his shoulder armor. Damn, how hard did he hit something to break it? We may just be finding pieces of the old man here," Inuyasha deduced, but Sesshoumaru was faintly shaking his head.
"He was here. He's been gone for a while, since it's fading." His eyebrows quirked into a curious expression. "And Zadi was with him."
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It was frustrating, this constant fading, but she supposed a lot of it was to blame on the crackling fire that was burning just across from her. It sent out warm currents of air, like massaging fingertips that made it so nice to just close her eyes again and doze off. She did this repeatedly, and each time she woke up she felt as though she was experiencing the same moment, even the same thoughts, continuously to the point of disorientation.
The only thing that made her understand that she was not caught in some eternal loop of half-awareness was the sporadic movement of the demon. Every time she opened her eyes, he was doing something different ... breaking up bits of wood in a fit of boredom, then tossing them in to be consumed by the flames ... hovering over her, face a surly mask of annoyance, saying words she could not remember ... appearing to doze while seated against the tree across from her, face lighted to a dusky orange by the fire ... stretching awkwardly, as though working a kink out of his muscles ... and this time, when she came back, it was because he was doing something that was hurting like hell and royally pissing her off.
She opened her eyes to find him hanging over her, bare-chested and with a very intent expression, one of frowning concentration. As soon as he saw that she was watching him, his face morphed into pure displeasure. The smell of burned flesh hung in the air, as did her desire to shriek at him for whatever agony he was producing. Whatever he had done, it had certainly brought her out of that half-sleep. She was certain that she, as well as her screaming nerve endings, had never been more fully aware in her entire life.
"I don't know how you're going to explain this one, but they're stupid; they'll probably believe you if you tell them you did it yourself." He drew back, allowing her to see the fading red glow of his heated knife blade. "Cauterized," he explained. "I got you good with that sword swing. You've been bleeding out like a decapitated chicken."
She felt her face wrinkle up at this nauseating description.
"But you're a tough little witch, I'll give you credit for that much," he finished, shoving the knife's blade back into the flames. "Is your brain still scrambled?" He smirked at her, appearing very sly in doing so. "The things you say while half-coherent are fascinating. I think I prefer you that way."
"What'd I say?" she asked slowly, not at all liking the look he was giving her.
"I'll spare you the embarrassment, but you do like me very much, don't you?" he questioned with something between feigned innocence and evil glee, appearing disgustingly pleased with himself.
She turned her head to look away from him, not sure what to say to that ... and noticed that a mortifying amount of her upper body was on open display. Gritting her teeth, she quickly shoved her arm back through her sleeve and turned an expression of pained appall in his direction.
"Don't look so offended. It's not like I've never seen anything of the sort before."
"Kanaye!"
He shrugged his bare shoulders. "Be offended if you like then. It was necessary. After all I did, I'd be damned if you dropped dead from a stupid sword wound."
All he did .... It was as though her brain suddenly lurched back to full capacity, and she remembered that dizzying fall, the awkward hanging from the cliff's edge with his hand wrapped around her arm in an unbreakable grip, and then that second sickening plummet that had somehow gotten her to wherever they were now. Her fingers clenched involuntarily, as though trying to grasp some sort of security again. Her head came back up and she looked at him fully. Beyond appreciating his innate perfection, despite the lingering signs that that perfection had been temporarily marred by a terrible collision, there was something she felt ... something she recalled feeling in those long seconds of that fall, when she hadn't been as opposed to the possibility of her own death because he had been willingly with her. Perfectly solid, unswerving, unimpressed, unforgiving, foul-mouthed, dark-hearted, mean-spirited ... Kanaye had been the benefactor of the kindest thing that had ever been done for her.
She just sat very still, propped up against a tree, contentedly warm enough to ignore the scratching of bark poking into her back and the odd thumping of her throbbing shoulder, allowing her thoughts to filter through. He clearly became bored of watching her watch him and began moving restlessly around again. She noticed that his haori was hanging out to dry, as though it had been washed out. His hair was hanging loose, just as Sesshoumaru tended to wear his, a silky white curtain that hung all the way down his back. She felt an odd, barely repressible urge to touch it ....
He finally stopped and settled down at the tree next to her, moving stiffly as though bothered. His face turned up toward the sky, likely judging how much night was left, or perhaps the amount of time until he would be free of her ....
"Your armor ..."
"It shattered," he revealed, glancing at her.
"I'm sorry."
"I'm not overly sentimental. It performed its function."
She continued to watch his profile, feeling some sort of odd clenching in her chest. "Are you all right?" she inquired politely, but he did not answer, apparently finished with conversing. She allowed the silence to fall and leaned her head back to watch the same night he seemed to be so fascinated with. It was pitch dark, only the fire allowing her to differentiate between the tree tops and the sky, a velvety coating of blackness, oddly comforting after the unbelievable chaos of earlier in the day. Her thoughts went briefly to Keito and his army, and wondered how they had fared; considered the possibility that they believed she was dead. Perhaps she wouldn't have to return .... She stopped that thought cold, turning to look at Kanaye who appeared to be relaxing, eyes half-closed, as if lured away by the soothing warmth of the fire. She would go back. She had something to finish for him. He was counting on her to help him with Sashe ....
There was some magnetic force that made her move, forced her stiff, aching muscles to uncoil enough to move toward him. He glanced briefly at her, and then away, not protesting or welcoming her as she situated herself beside him. Like the fire, he radiated his own heat, something she could feel just by allowing her fingers to hover over his arm, like some strange, comforting current. He made no comment about her odd actions, likely writing them off to her addled mind, but she understood what he did not, and that was that she was fully in control of herself again, more so than she could recall being in a long time.
"Thank you ... Kanaye."
Again he did not respond, but she heard him exhale a deep breath, watched his hand unclench. The claws on that hand had been broken during their hurtling descent and his attempt to stop it. She shivered again at the memory, terrifying, exhilarating ....
"Sashe's mother ....," Zadi found herself saying quietly, and these were words that brought his head up. "Does she know?"
"I can't find her. I don't know where she is," he revealed. "I sent my retainer to my younger daughter, Shinya ... she'll be able to find her and let her know."
Zadi frowned at the strangeness of his statement and felt an unmistakable undercurrent of ... dismay ... that the woman apparently still existed. "You can't find her? Isn't she your wife?"
He made a sound that was something between a growl and a sarcastic laugh. "I wouldn't call her that. You see," and he turned a liquid amber gaze on her, his face just inches from her own as he said with great irony, "the woman who gave birth to my children wholeheartedly dislikes me."
Zadi blinked at him, hearing the faint undertone of bitterness and self-deprecation. "Why?"
"Why?" he repeated incredulously, eyes widening. "You did suffer quite a trauma, didn't you?"
"You work very hard to make people hate you, don't you?" she queried with obvious sadness.
His eyes were locked onto hers with rampant fascination. "It's not hard work. It's natural. I do not alter my behavior to suit or benefit others. My mate … if I am still able to call her that … is a soft-hearted woman who sees few circumstances that warrant violence, and that is because she has been protected for her entire life, from her father's home to mine. She has never had to lift a finger to defend herself because she's been fortunate enough to have people around her who see to that necessity on her behalf. She despises me for the things I do and often, with her heart as judge, rightfully so, but she does not understand that in these times and with the growing tension between youkai and humans, it is often best to strike preemptively in order to prevent violence from finding you at a time that is less convenient. My brother felt differently; he did not react until danger came to him and, eventually, it caught up with him." He smiled faintly then in a manner that was humorless. "I do not care what others think of or feel for me because when their self-righteous little hearts are rotting in the ground, I will still be here."
Slowly digesting his words, Zadi remained very quiet for a while before saying, "You are known for doing terrible things."
"There are reasons for that. I do what others perceive as terrible things. I have reasons for everything I do."
She turned her head and locked a blue stare on him. "Why did you save me?"
He smirked at her. "I failed to mention that my reasons are my business." The smirk faded some when she turned toward him; his expression falling into careful neutrality as she reached her hand out, letting her fingertips lightly graze the side of his face.
"What … the hell are you doing?" he asked, though the sentence was more surprised and curious than scolding.
She smiled at him, something between innocent and mischievous, and let her fingers do what they had so wanted to earlier when she had been watching him. They threaded unapologetically into his hair, rubbing the soft strands between her scraped fingertips. "I have my reasons," she said, imitating his imperiousness.
"You really need to learn your place," he said stiffly, but his face did not leave hers, so fascinated was he by what he was seeing. There is definitely something wrong with this woman ….
"I'm finding it," she replied with whispery certainty, feeling strangely buoyed by her actions. Her fingers moved up to explore his ear and it was at that point that he caught her wrist.
"You'll find something you're not healthy enough for if you keep it up," he said, eyes darkening with warning and even he paused to consider precisely what he meant by those words. He settled for just glaring at her, particularly when she plastered a grin across her face.
"I'm not the only one with a crush," she boldly accused.
He snorted at that claim, releasing her wrist. "You're fucking in love with me, idiot," he announced with the pure satisfaction of unadulterated ego.
"And how would you know such a thing?"
"Because you told me. Repeatedly," he informed her with what appeared to be malicious glee, the wicked humor fading from his face as he looked up and away from her. "Shit," he cursed.
"What?" she asked, picking up on the sudden change in mood.
"They're coming," he announced grimly, as though expressing invitation to a funeral. Without further comment, he stood and moved away from her, reaching for the still-damp haori and slinging it on. His annoyance grew when the thing clung to him like a damp, cold second skin; he glanced back at Zadi, who was watching him intently. He briefly wondered what was going through that muddled head of hers …
True to taiyoukai form, Sesshoumaru did not arrive so much as just appear suddenly. His face was expressionless, as always, but Kanaye knew him well enough to recognize that shrewd look that was staring back at him, accusing, as though having caught Kanaye in the act of something he was never going to be allowed to live down.
"Sesshoumaru," Kanaye greeted with bland innocence, "I suppose the remainder of the battle went your way." Kanaye's head tilted, a long wave of white hair swinging with the motion as he peered around Sesshoumaru to watch Inuyasha's embarrassingly loud arrival, and that of the women behind him. "Nice shot, half-breed. I'll owe you for that one."
Inuyasha snorted derisively. "Nice catch, moron," he retorted, eyes flickering meaningfully to Zadi. "Or did she summon up the ability to fly?"
Kanaye shrugged, not allowing himself to be baited. "She's like a cockroach," he airily proclaimed, ignoring the stabbing glare she sent in his direction. "No matter what you do, you just can't quite kill her."
Sesshoumaru nodded silently, as though coming to some internal decision. "It was rather easy following that trail of hypocrisy you're exuding, Kanaye," he stated with barely veiled sarcasm. "I expect to be spared any further comments from you in the future."
"Ahhh, Sesshoumaru," Kanaye sighed, as though exasperated with himself, "I fear I am prone to disappointing expectations, but I will add the accusation of hypocrisy to my long list of faults."
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When Jaken arrived with a sleepy human Ashitera, Sesshoumaru was seated apart from the others, watching them, but feeling the familiar siege of restlessness that tended to come to him at night. After complaining about Rin and Kagome's attempts to patch up Zadi with the first aid kit ("She has to be convincing when she goes back, you idiots. What? She just managed to come across such things on her own?"), Kanaye disappeared into the forest. Sesshoumaru assumed he intended to heal in quiet misery, as he was clearly hurting in some manner. It was probably damaging enough to his pride that everyone assumed, and rightly so, that the injury had been sustained in the act of aiding a human. Sesshoumaru was surprised his ego hadn't exploded from sheer revulsion of such an action.
By the time the later morning hours began to set in, nearly everyone was settled into some semblance of sleep. Only the trailing ends of Zadi's hair were visible from where she was piled beneath a borrowed blanket. Inuyasha was nodding off at the base of a dying tree, Kagome wedged in beside him, covered by a thick sleeping bag. Jaken was positioned near the fire, his head dropping lower and lower, while Ashitera huddled under a blanket that was situated in a lump at his side. On her other side, the massive wolf was lying with his head on his paws, occasionally flicking his ears in response to sounds he did not fully recognize.
Most surprisingly, Rin was kneeling beside the wolf. Sesshoumaru watched her as she would, periodically and very tentatively, reach a hand out and lightly touch the beast's fur, causing it to ripple under her fingertips. She finally looked up when she felt his eyes on her and smiled at him. Something in him reached a decision and he got to his feet, approaching her with an extended hand. Wordlessly, he pulled her away from the fire's warmth, and she, too, didn't speak until they were safely out of earshot of the others.
"Is something wrong?" she whispered, watching as he quietly shook his head. She accepted that and adjusted his hand so that she could thread her fingers around his. He seemed very peaceful and at ease, despite the difficulties of earlier in the evening, so she decided to just enjoy being with him.
She allowed him to lead her as they wended their way around large flat-leafed bushes, jagged-edged fronds, and some scrubbier growth that made her ankles itch. He clearly knew where he was going because even as the night darkened around them to the point where the only evident, solid thing was his hand, he guided them on unswervingly until Rin was able to look out at a sprawling reflection of the night sky.
She looked at him questioningly, as though suspecting his motives. "I smell like that youkai from today, don't I?"
"Not for much longer," he calmly informed her. He was feeling strangely light-hearted, like something had been lifted off of him. In some tenuous way, it was linked to his own suspicions of Kanaye's actions concerning Zadi. Kanaye himself might not yet understand why it was that he had done such a thing, but Sesshoumaru had a good idea of his motivation, mostly because he understood the depth of feeling it took for a youkai to act benevolently on the behalf of another, especially for a human. It was abhorrent, repulsive, and unacceptable to form an attachment with a human … and then, suddenly, there was that one human, prying out deeds and words and responses one did not even think themselves capable of. Before long, that attachment to the human was no longer dreaded, but craved.
Craving, yes, that was certainly the correct word. It described everything, particularly his obsessive growing need to just ….
Rin looked up from the glassy expanse of water when she felt his hand rest affectionately on her head, lightly stroking the fine strands.
"Sesshoumaru?" she questioned quietly, surprised by the sudden display.
He smiled faintly at her, looking angelic for a brief moment before his true intentions became evident… and then he began unclothing himself right there on the shore, pulling his arms free of his armor, then the sleeves, neatly folding the various articles of clothing before arranging them on the ground at his feet.
Rin nervously averted her eyes, but her own participation was rendered necessary when he began working on her clothing. Trying to calm her rapidly beating heart, she let him have his way as he gently assisted her in removing the garments until she realized that she was suddenly much colder, bare skin exposed to the night air. She exhaled a steady breath, trying to expel her nerves, and folded her arms around herself as he entered the water, looking like an ethereal being and, as always, completely at home in his own skin.
"I thought swimming was for children," she teased him with the explanation he had given to Ashitera.
He looked back at her, eyes glittering with a feral light. "We won't be swimming."
Of its own mind, her face began to blush, less because of the words and more because of the tone in which he had spoken him. She took a hesitant step down the gravelly, sloping bank, stepping in up to her ankles. Despite the heat from the day, the water was just cold enough to be uncomfortable to her skin, but her head rose and she watched the youkai who was waiting patiently, apparently unfazed by the water's chill.
She took a few more steps, but once the water got to her knees there was a steep drop off, one that kept her toes from being able to touch the dark bottom. Sesshoumaru, his great height advantage allowing him to walk where she could not, waded back toward her and caught her bare arms, dragging her toward him until they were pressed together, forcing all thoughts of chilly water out of Rin's mind. His skin was heated, something it willingly shared with her own, and she exhaled a contented sigh as hands circled comfortably around her waist, keeping her loosely against him.
"I can't touch here," she whispered, as though afraid to break the mood that had fallen between them. "Maybe we should move in closer."
"It doesn't matter," he replied. "I can and that is enough for both of us."
It was the warm way in which he said those words that made her wonder if they had another meaning, rumbling from his throat in some hypnotic fashion that suggested something between an endearment and a faint growl. She wondered if this was something he had planned, a way to make her accustomed to having his hands on her.
She let her body relax, melting against his chest, arms moving around his shoulders in a manner that mirrored the way his were circled around her hips, keeping her above water with him. His lips found her exposed throat and began trailing a line of kisses down the skin, confidently, lazily, as though he had all the time in the world and all the assurance that she was about to enjoy herself.
"What about the others?" she murmured languidly, finding that only a very far-off part of her mind even cared at this point. She supposed they could have an audience seated on the bank and she would not even notice.
"Scent does not adhere to water," he reminded her, leaving that as all the explanation that was necessary. He inhaled the smell of her skin, feeling his blood begin to pound at her response to him. Ah, be thankful I have admirable restraint, my girl …
A restraint she was unknowingly encouraging him to lose, as her legs made themselves comfortable by wrapping around his waist, anchoring herself so that she could reach his face. She began very tentatively kissing his left ear, giggling lightly when she worked a contented growl out of him.
Some things are just instinctual … human, youkai ….
His heart pounding full on with a wordless need, Sesshoumaru felt as though he was being slowly tortured and was glad of it. The girl, inexperienced though she was, was very adept at figuring things out on her own, and even better at things she wasn't aware she was doing. He kept a careful grasp on her hips and an even tighter hold on his instincts, inhaling deep breaths, consistently reminding himself that, though dog he might be, he was capable of repressing those screaming basic urges.
It was she who locked her lips on his first, shyly at first, accustomed to him taking the lead in such things, but she found herself quickly overcome as his mouth met hers in something more heated and passionate than she was accustomed to. She was quickly rendered breathless, the solid hammering of his heart reverberating from his skin to hers. She felt his hands tighten on her, claws gripping her legs in what was quickly becoming an uncomfortable manner.
"Sesshoumaru," she breathed his name, pulling back enough so that they were nearly nose to nose and she could watch his eyes. They were dark and possessive, something animalistic lingering underneath, muscles faintly shivering as though they were being repressed from performing the functions they wanted to.
He blinked at her, as though something inside him snapped back on … or off? she wondered. He loosened his grip on her, back to something more relaxed and comfortable.
"What's wrong?" she asked lightly, basking in that look of pure adoration and lust that had replaced the darkness of a moment before.
"Nothing," he said, and she noticed even his voice sounded different. "I can assure you that nothing is wrong." On the contrary … he exhaled a deep breath, suppressing those primal instincts once more. And so this was where one of their major differences came into play; he had been with his share of youkai women, but never a human. Humans simply were not built with youkai in mind as eventual mating partners and so … it could not be the same. Youkai blood was a burning, violent thing, something that had to be carefully reined in.
"Do I smell enough like you yet?" she questioned with a wide, mischievous smile.
"I'll let you know," he said noncommittally, resting his nose in her hair, inhaling a breath … the lingering smells of dust and that battle and that youkai were fading, becoming replaced by him, and just as it should be.
As if in response to that thought, he hugged her to him, caressing her bare skin with very slow, lingering fingers, clearing away the remnants of that northern bastard, both from her scent and his head. He supposed leaving her to Kanaye had been a good move … and well-timed. The outcome of that fight could have been very different ….
He pushed all thoughts away, all except the ones that centered on her, and as he continued holding her, separated from the world by a distance that was both physical and mental, he understood that some things would have to change. As much as he feared … fear? Yes, I suppose … the prospect of repeating his father's mistakes, it was moments like these that made him unwilling to waste the time he would have with her. One day when she was gone and he was alone again, he would be far more likely to regret that careful separation he placed between them than any mistake that could come of altering things ….
Separation. Heh … there is not so much of that as you like to credit yourself with, is there, Sesshoumaru-sama? he thought idly to himself as his arms circled more tightly around the girl, eyes half-closing in pure contentment and total submission to the curious, gentle movements of her fingers. It was amusing how utterly and wonderfully naïve she was. Nothing like those youkai women …. nothing at all ….
There was an inexpressible gratitude for that … and something else he could not quite name, though it thumped continuously at the back of his mind as his hands became familiar with every perfect inch, all of her nervousness gone now, washed away. He kissed her again, one that quickly grew from soft and expressive of his feelings to something less innocent, more demanding, and reminiscent of his resurging youkai blood.
Thankfully … or, perhaps, frustratingly? … his body's instincts were reined in once more, this time by something registering to his senses. He saw that her brown eyes were fixated on his face intently, wearing a lustful expression that he was entirely certain was mirrored back at her.
"You have been saved," he said humorously, his gaze regrettably leaving her face to look toward the shore. "She's moving around on her own, it seems."
"Ashitera?" Rin questioned, her face quickly flushing. "She's not nearby---"
"No," he said emphatically, "but she's heading in the wrong direction. Likely searching for you." His expression became faintly disapproving as he began moving them back toward shore, obviously irritated at the interruption.
Rin kissed his cheek, a feathery light touch that expressed her affection. "Thank you for keeping an ear open for her," she half-teased.
"It is difficult to ignore the amount of noise a human child of her age is capable of making." Though I would be sincerely willing to give it a try ….
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It was late the following day before Zadi finally summoned the will and enough energy to start the return trip to Eizan's castle. Kagome sent Inuyasha back to the scene of the battle in order to track down one of the now scattered and ownerless horses, Rin sent her off with food and a few friendly words, and Sesshoumaru ignored her thoroughly. Zadi wasn't certain why they were still lingering in that same place as the youkai lord struck her as someone of very little patience, but she assumed he was waiting for Kanaye to return. As, she could admit, was she.
As Zadi said her good-byes to Ashitera, her eyes kept surreptitiously falling around the forest, as though expecting him to be lurking nearby, watching, but she was disappointed. She shouldn't have been, really, since he was simply behaving true to form. His having saved her life did not also include rights to a farewell.
Even while she went about leading the plodding horse through the overgrown woods, Zadi would periodically, and very casually, look about. She wanted to see him; that much was undeniable, but when she reached the forest's edge and found nothing save a sprawling, flower-strewn valley and a majestic view of the looming mountains, she reoriented herself back to her purpose, her mission … and considered the best way to mount a horse one-handed.
She stared at the horse in open consternation, as though the animal was being purposefully unhelpful. It blinked liquid brown eyes back at her, appearing irreverent about her inconvenience.
"You still smell like me. Unless you can talk fast when you get there, you'd better wash it off," came a voice that startled her heart into a surprised lurch. She found Kanaye standing at a casual distance behind her, having reverted to his usual regal form; hair pulled back, clothes immaculate, and no sign that he had experienced anything more than mild irritation in the last day, save the obvious lack of armor. "Otherwise you're going to get a very rude reception."
"I'll bathe before I get there," she assured him. "I'm smarter than you think I am."
"I doubt it, but you're free to have your illusions."
She shook her head in humored exasperation, feeling that that intensely comfortable mood she'd shared with him the night before was suddenly very far off, a figment of her "scrambled brain" as he had dubbed it. "You seem back to your old, surly self today."
"I barely noticed. In fact, I'm considering doing it again just for its own sake," he coolly claimed.
"Liar."
"Quit calling me that."
She smiled at him, glad to see him despite himself. "Thanks for coming to see me off."
"That wasn't my purpose."
"Then what was?"
"Curiosity."
"About what?" she asked, her features marring with a frown.
"I intend to watch you attempt to mount that horse … and laugh loudly at the effort."
"You obnoxious bastard," she muttered, grasping the reins in her left hand. She carefully placed her foot and then swung herself up, feeling that it was less graceful than normal, but certainly not a humiliation. She glanced back at him triumphantly, but his arms were crossed and he was smirking at her again.
"You would have been standing here all day if I hadn't goaded you," he challenged airily. "Good luck finding your way back. I have little faith in your sense of direction," he stated, turning and leaving before she could summon up words fit for a reply.
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It took persistence to make her way back, and thankfully the trip was uneventful save for the unmitigated desire to find Eizan's castle and collapse for a week. She felt terrible, a feeling that worsened when she got within sight of the castle and found Kawahira approaching her out of nowhere, dressed in his usual foreboding way, all black and metal armor, like the antithesis of Kanaye.
That name jolted her every time she thought of it now. She felt like a stupid little girl, pining over some man who was too highly placed, too out-of-reach, but she was beyond help at this point. There must be something wrong with me, she thought forlornly as she eyed Kawahira's steady approach across the wind-swept grass. To be so besotted with such a fiendish creature. It was unreal, but also undeniable, and worst of all, he knew her feelings and ... what? Did he feel similarly for her? Did he feel? She didn't know. She had assumptions, but they were based on things that could be interpreted in other ways.
Shoving aside all thoughts about Kanaye, Zadi focused on Kawahira, repressing the image of the arrogant youkai, as though fearful he would somehow read her mind.
"Ah, Zadi, if anyone could return from the dead, it would be you," Kawahira called casually in greeting. "After hearing Keito recount the battle, we assumed you'd died. You look positively dreadful."
"Nice to see you, Kawahira," she said breezily as her horse trudged past him, her eyes focused intently on that despised place, the one she hated returning to, but it held a bed that belonged to her, temporarily at least, and she was absolutely going to get there as soon as was possible. She allowed herself a moment to miss the quiet, tranquil solitude of her home village. Clearly they were doing well enough without her, since she had heard nothing to suggest otherwise during her absence.
Kawahira seemed to take her hint for silence, but shadowed her all the way through the gates, past the stares of people she ignored, up the steps, each foot becoming heavier than the last. She felt like an old woman, aching down to the bones, and it was all made worse when she pushed through the doors only to find Eizan lurking in the front foyer, lording about as he was so capable of doing, putting out that aura of authority. Authority she didn't give a damn about.
"Zadi!" he called, and she steadfastly ignored him, tuned out the sounds of his steps trekking loudly across the floor in her wake, clearly following her. "Are you purposefully ignoring me?"
"I am trying my very best, Eizan," she exhaled wearily, turning to find him glowering unappreciatively at her words. "Is there something you need? If not, consider me indisposed for the remainder of the day."
She tried to move up another step, but was halted when his hand reached out and grabbed her arm, stilling her into place. She turned back to find his face, calm and calculated, watching her with interest.
"Do you intend on revealing precisely what miracle saved you from your fall? According to Keito, it was not survivable by human standards. I had not expected to see you again."
"Keito was wrong. And if he had bothered to check instead of fleeing in the face of his army's defeat, he would have noticed that I was fortunate enough not to fall the entire way," she shamelessly lied.
"And Kanaye?"
Her heart jolted again at the name, but she carefully kept her face level. "What about him?"
"Did he survive as well?"
Zadi allowed her exasperation to come through. "For the sake of future conflict, we can all hope he met his end. At the time, I was focused more on my own survival and less on what became of him. I cannot tell you one way or the other, but I was in the process of attempting to kill him when the incident occurred. Hopefully next time there will not be so much interference," she said, placing careful emphasis on that last word and eyeing Eizan with obvious maliciousness. "Now are we finished?"
Eizan backed down, clearly not liking the look in her eye. He nodded graciously, smiling to cover his annoyance at being brushed off. "I'll send up the physician."
"Don't bother," she muttered, again moving up the expansive staircase. "I will not apologize for the fate of the individual who comes to wake me."
Eizan watched her retreat until she was out of earshot, then turned upraised eyebrows to Kawahira who was looming a few steps away. "She's a scary bitch, isn't she?" he muttered with obvious ill will. "That creature can kill you with a look and doesn't even have the decency to die when a suitable circumstance presents itself." He shook his head exasperatedly. "At least she's still useful. And speaking of useful, I thought we decided that you were going to find Ryuujin?" Eizan questioned Kawahira, who chose simply to leave rather than comment.
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"Wow, Inuyasha!" Rin exclaimed, watching as the hanyou released a string of freshly-caught fish at her feet. He appeared very pleased with himself upon hearing her words, then paused to sling his arms back through the sleeves of his red fire rat's fur coat.
"They were begging for it," he insisted triumphantly. "And I get the big one!"
Rin quickly went about cleaning and skewering the fish, noticing out of the corner of her eye that she was gaining an audience in the form of Ashitera, the wolf, and, though attempting to appear above it all, Jaken as well. She set the skewers upright to roast in the flames across from the wild mushrooms she had found earlier, looking up from the task when she caught movement out of the corner of her eye.
Kanaye emerged from the forest, clearly having decided to finally return to them. She had not seen him at all since the night before, but had heard enough of Sesshoumaru's speculations about events with Zadi to watch him differently, wondering if there really was more to him than he tended to display. She wasn't convinced of that yet, but there was something she had been meaning to say to him.
Extracting the first smoked fish, she clutched the heated skewer in her hand and strode purposefully toward where he had seated himself, apart from the others as always, but looking like himself again, at least. His head came up at her approach, expression unwelcoming, but she did not allow that to stop her.
Wordlessly, she extended the fish to him and he eyed her as though she had just brandished a weapon. "What are you doing?" he questioned in a manner that suggested both her sanity and motives were suspect.
"I'm trying to feed you," she claimed, still extending the skewer. "I don't think you've eaten recently."
He looked away from her as though dismissing her presence entirely, but she was undeterred. "This isn't charity, Kanaye. This is gratitude."
"Gratitude?" he repeated as though she had just flung a dirty word at him, turning back to eye her.
"For training me the other day. You're right. You are a good teacher," she said, smiling faintly. As unlikable as he was, he deserved to be thanked when the rare moment arose and she had completed her mission.
He finally pulled the skewered fish from her hand. "What's that supposed to mean?"
She ignored his question, instead returning to the fire and the smoking food. The wolf was seated, yellow eyes gazing over it all with obvious hunger. He welcomed her back with a thumping tail and a panting grin. Slyly checking over her shoulder for any sign of Inuyasha, Rin pulled the biggest fish off of the fire, removed it from the stick, and extended it to the wolf like a peace offering. As he moved to take it, though, she quickly lost her nerve and placed it on the ground for him.
"You're going to keep working on me until I like you, aren't you?" she lightly accused him, watching as he wasted no time in consuming his dinner.