InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ War's Shadow ❯ Weighted ( Chapter 19 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

19 - Weighted

He was lingering somewhere between quiet thoughtfulness and half-sleep, an existence in which his muscles and body were essentially shut down, but he was aware enough to listen and to think, and as much as he tried to turn his thoughts, they consistently crept back and forth between those two females, the women who had each managed to immerse his head into private warfare.

He could see her, almost as if he was with her…and he wished he was…but Kanaye’s mind liked to torment him with ideas of what could possibly be going on within the walls of Eizan’s accursed fortress. He knew she was being kept separated from everyone else; that she was well enough, but being held in a dark, oppressive place. Sashe trusted people far more easily than she should, a flaw he had never been able to correct. He could understand where she had inherited that trait, had learned that weakness. He attributed it entirely to her mother.

Then there was that other woman, the one who continuously crept into his brain to push away those distressing images that kept coming to mind. He both resented and appreciated her for it. Everything had been black and white to Kanaye before Zadi had arrived within his sphere of existence, and suddenly there was a very large segment of gray in his life. Was it possible to both detest and want something that desperately? Probably not, which led him to question his failing sanity.

But…want her in what way? Physically? Most certainly. There were not words to describe it. His insides were thumping with the desire to repeatedly wear that woman out, as disgusting and horrifying as that was to him, but he could still smell her….and hear her; the way she said his name…and what made it even more sick was that she likely wanted him even more than he wanted her. She certainly had not been shy about getting that point across, but she truly had no idea what she was dealing with…

Lien…she was long gone, and as angry as he had been at her for pushing him aside, there had never been this… What is it? he wondered. Had he loved her? He did not know. He was not sure he was even capable of such a thing as that, that soul-consuming, mind-numbing focus on one person. It was like an infection that crept into those around him, but passed him by. He saw it in Sesshoumaru and his single-minded devotion to that worthless scrap of a girl, and in Inuyasha, who hung on every word that left the miko’s mouth, like a puppy infatuated with its new owner. Revolting, truly…

Perhaps he was incapable of true depth of feeling for another living creature. There were the girls, Shinya and Sashe. He would murder for them and had done so more times than he could be bothered to count. He did have that instinct in him, the one that made him see red and destroy anything that caused them so much as a flicker of distress. When he saw them, it made him feel like a whole person, as though creating them had stolen something from him that could only be returned when they were in his presence. But was that…?

His head lifted then, snapping out of his half-dozing thoughts, effectively slapped back to wakefulness. Outside, a crow cawed loudly, as though warning him of what he had already sensed. It was a blanket of evil cloaking the house, a thick, choking coat of pure enmity and he recognized it for what it was.

Kanaye was moving before he even understood what he was doing, that desire to destroy as conscious as the rest of him, his fingers burning with the need to wipe out all traces of that existence, the one that should already have been gone and had been for centuries.

He stalked past the room that housed the ailing half-demon, following a trail to its source, and entered another neatly kept room, one that was clearly inhabited by a female, judging from the things inside it. This room smelled of that girl, Rin, but above it all was that scent; the one he hated enough to dig the cur up just for the pleasure of putting him back into the grave again, and yet…

As Kanaye crept closer to that bow, the one his sister had forged from the previous Northern Lord’s remains, he allowed the dark aura to wash over him. It was as though Eido had seeped out of his own grave and was clinging to this thing, this last remnant of himself in the physical world. And he recalled how Rin had been forced to abandon it during the battle or, rather, how it had abandoned her….

“What is that?” came a breathed question as the miko walked in beside him, looking faintly disgusted, as though she would have to claim a bath the moment she escaped the bow’s influence. And, of course, that would be so. Someone with spiritual abilities would not react well to something so obviously malevolent.

They watched it in concert for a moment as the normally grayish-white weapon became darker and darker, a forbidding mist rising off of it like something that would not quite burn, like wet wood that could not summon much more than smoke.

His peripheral vision caught her moving closer to inspect it, as though drawn to it. Priestess to evil, cure it, cleanse it…but this gave him a bad feeling and so he raised his voice in idle warning, “I wouldn’t get too close to it if I were you.”

She frowned in thought, the bow’s dark aura crackling off of her skin like an electric current, and she chose to follow her own instincts instead of his. Tentatively, she reached for it and they both blinked in surprise as the dark energy reacted to her approaching fingers by retreating, evaporating quickly as though having been frightened off.

Kanaye made an amused sound as the air cleared and the bow became normal-looking once more. “Now try that on the half-breed and see what it gets you.”

Kagome’s liquid brown eyes moved to his face and he could almost admire the intensity of this woman…if she wasn’t a human and so thoroughly adept at being a bitch.

“I’ll trust you,” she finally said through stiff lips, as though it was an effort to expel the words.

“I wouldn’t go that far,” he remarked with dry sarcasm, and that was when he heard it, the approaching sound of a familiar gait accompanied by the caterwauling voice of one who somehow managed to make his own name sound like a screamed curse.

“Seven hells,” Kanaye muttered angrily, stalking toward the screen and throwing it open to find Zeshu ambling toward him, huffing for breath the entire way. “What did I tell you last time?” Kanaye barked at him in a thunderous voice, face forbidding enough to cause Zeshu to stop in his steps, appearing faintly nervous.

“To request of Shinya-sama to go find the Lady…and then to return to your home and wait for you,” he recited pleasantly.

Kanaye nodded as though in approval. “Then why am I staring at your face?”

Appearing as though he was close to having some sort of mental breakdown, Zeshu wrung his furred hands, telling of his torn loyalties. “Sesshoumaru-sama arrived with the human girl and ordered me to come find you here,” he explained meekly.

Kanaye’s face fell into a genuine frown at the strangeness of that. “Why would he---?” And then his expression darkened until he could have been mistaken for the evil that had just fled the room. “That selfish boy…I’m going to have to burn my fucking house down,” he hissed furiously before walking back inside, slamming the door hard enough to rattle the wall, and leaving a confused Zeshu outside in the starlit darkness.

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She knelt on the floor beside him, fingers reaching out to brush back sweat-dampened silvery hair. As always, her presence seemed to rouse him from that heavy sleep, and Kagome smiled for him, though her heart was clenched and nervous. But what else is there? Kanaye and Sesshoumaru were right; he was not healing on his own.

Recently, Inuyasha always seemed to go out of his way to prove himself around Sesshoumaru, even at times when he really wasn’t suited for it, and what had happened the night before was additional proof of that. When Sesshoumaru had arrived, Inuyasha should have stepped back and left the remainder of that army to him. He had done enough at that point. He had held off more of those soldiers than she had been able to count while in human form and wielding a fragile, detransformed sword.

Inuyasha had fought harder than she had seen him fight in a very long time, to the point of death. Though she hadn’t witnessed it, Rin had told her of that desperate transformation, the one into his blood-thirsty youkai form. What more could Inuyasha have given? What more could he prove? That he could fight alongside his youkai brother no matter what form he was in? He had proved that. And yet, she knew, the next time such a situation arose, he would be right there, determined to prove himself again. It was that evolving relationship, the one that was founded less on mutual hatred now and more on a fierce rivalry; one determined to hold himself up as better, and the other determined to pull that one down from his pedestal. Or, at the very least, force him to share it with him…

The saddest part of it all was that both of them seemed to be half-heartedly prodding at a reconciliation. Sesshoumaru saw Inuyasha as rash and foolish and determined to undermine him; Inuyasha saw Sesshoumaru as domineering and unforgiving and persistent in shoving him aside due to lack of worth. But Kagome could see it, even if neither of them could; that frustrated attempt to connect in some way. Their personality clash was too severe for them ever to be friends, but they both seemed weary of the years upon years of violence, so maybe….

“Kagome,” came that raspy voice and she watched his head turn, eyes opening to regard her warmly for a moment before irritation set in. “I think she’s screaming for you.”

Who? she wondered silently, certain that this was another of his jyaki-induced delusions. She eyed the skin on his chest; the wound was darkening, spreading, as though it was eating at the very flesh, like an infection. It was becoming more and more difficult to look at it, but Kanaye was right; she could sense the jyaki. It was coming off of Inuyasha in waves.

“It’s killing my ears,” he murmured and she kissed his forehead, lips brushing against hot skin. His eyes brightened at that and it was like a light snapped on.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, looking suddenly wary.

Kagome shook her head, smiling sweetly at him. “Nothing. I’m going to help you,” she said quietly, wrapping her fingers around his longer clawed ones.

“As long as you’re not going to sing at me. That girl was torturing me earlier.”

“I’m not going to sing,” she promised, adjusting her hold on his hand. The room was a meld of sepia and shadows, thanks to darkness and the accompanying light of a candle, but she didn’t need to see to feel that connection through their fingertips, as though her powers were desperate to seek out and cleanse the evil influence that was harming him.

Her mind swept back to the activity earlier in the day, as people had randomly come to seek out Sesshoumaru for various reasons, and it had given her some insight into him that she had not had before. There had been those who had come to offer help, whether in Inutaisho’s name or because of some other varied reason. But there had been just as many coming to plead for assistance, mostly from the northern border where they were prone to encountering Eizan’s creeping armies and that festering, growing expulsion of evil that was coming from the mountains and, according to Kanaye, Eido’s disturbed grave. When someone sought him out, Sesshoumaru tended to keep that business private, separate, and so Kagome had had no clear idea of what to tell them, other than that she would relay their messages.

But it wasn’t just the youkai population that was being affected; human villages were being razed or snuffed out by the suffocating effects of Ryuujin’s jyaki. That in and of itself bothered Kagome, but what truly attacked her conscience was that they had no idea why it was happening. These terrifying events were happening around them, destroying their lives, and all the humans could understand was that the youkai population was riled up for reasons they could not name.

She had repelled that evil aura that had clung to Rin’s bow, the one Kanaye had attributed to Eido’s malevolent soul. He believed she could heal Inuyasha…and likely Sesshoumaru if he would allow it. But it was all tied together…all of it from a single source…Eido. And though Kagome was not always confident in her spiritual abilities, she felt that, strange as it seemed, if she could heal Inuyasha from this affliction, she would be able to do the same for the source of the evil influence.

“I think I tried to kill him earlier. I’m not sure if that was real, but I can’t decide if I want to be sorry for it or not,” Inuyasha exhaled incoherently, and that drained, vacant look returned. “Hell, what is that screaming?”

Her hand tightened around his.

“I’m sick of sleeping, Kagome. I need to go outside,” he said with a sudden feverish intensity.

Her eyes fell to that open injury again, which was pulsing as though in sheer delight at his misery. Some other sense made her feel as though she was looking into the maw of that vengeful soul, almost as though she could see him, clinging to Inuyasha as though to say that his unquenchable desire to destroy the last of his enemies ruled over her own wishes.

Yes, I can see it, she thought dreamily. It’s a battle over possession, is it? Inuyasha, Sesshoumaru…they are yours to destroy? Kagome was amazed she had not seen it before; that enraged spirit. Vengeance and unfinished business, those were things that often created a soul’s determination to linger. Eido’s soul was being motivated by both.

She released Inuyasha’s hand long enough to keep him from attempting to launch himself into an upright position, which did not take much effort on her part. He was like a limp rag doll, formed into whatever position stronger hands enforced. Her hand hovered over him, hesitantly eyeing the blackening flesh. With calm fingers, she touched the skin and could feel it snapping back at her fingertips, as though demanding that she leave it to its conquest.

“Shit,” Inuyasha hissed. “What are you doing, woman?”

Leave him alone…

“I love you,” Kagome told him with all of the sincerity in her heart. It was enough. That depth of feeling could overwhelm anything, most especially a distant craving for his destruction. Feeling suddenly calm and focused, Kagome allowed her abilities to repel the evil.

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She was just like her mother. A traitorous woman who had bit the hand that had fed her. Eizan prodded absently at the dinner that had been brought to him, eyes locked on the fading orange embers of the fire, but seeing only the face of Elif staring defiantly back at him from within his own skull.

He had seen it coming from her, especially in these most recent years when her obsession for that ill-bred western cur had gained momentum. He had even encouraged Elif at first. As much as he detested Sesshoumaru, nothing but good could have come from joining their families. Sesshoumaru could have met some unfortunate, unexpected death, and Eizan’s own grandchildren would have inherited it all. A very fitting, quiet, dignified revenge.

Looking back over the last several months, he could find regret in his heart. If he had done things differently, the outcome might have been changed for the two boys he had buried. He might not have underestimated the depth of Elif’s allegiance to his enemy. That could not be repaired now.

There was still Kawahira. Solid, reliable, obedient. Dealing with Elif’s treachery could not be left to him, however. Kawahira had always had a soft spot for the girl and would be far too easy on her. Eizan himself had yet to decide exactly what punishment he would deem as acceptable. He had killed the girl’s mother for a similar crime, whoring herself out to a western dog, just as Elif was doing now, although in a different manner. He wasn’t entirely certain he could inflict the same retaliation on her. Unlike his former mate, Elif was his own flesh and blood, and as angry and vengeful as he was feeling toward the adult Elif, his mind kept recalling the image of Elif the child, who had once revered him as the central male figure in her life. No longer, clearly.

Eizan pushed his dinner away from him and sat back, eyes dark and brooding. His attention was unexpectedly diverted when Kawahira appeared, relaying to him exactly how distracted he had been, because he had not sensed an approaching presence at all.

“Did you know she was going to do it?” he questioned slowly, forgoing any sort of greeting. He watched as Kawahira stood very stoically; he somehow looked older now, different than before all of this had started. The boy was accustomed to bearing the weight of commanding others, but….

Perhaps if I had turned this matter over to him entirely, it would have been different….

Strategy, strength, prowess…these had been gifted to Kawahira. He was very much like Eido, and perhaps that was why Eizan had not been able to bring himself to allow his son full control over this war with the west. But it was too late now. What was done was done. If they could strike effectively just once, it would be finished.

“I didn’t know, Father,” Kawahira lied in response to Eizan’s inquiry.

Eizan regarded him with hard eyes, like flinted amethyst. “It was not Sashe that betrayed me, was it? You were covering for your sister’s bad judgment.”

This time Kawahira decided to be truthful. “Yes, sir.”

“You thought I would harm her.”

“I was confident of it.”

Eizan’s face became darker then, but the reply was chillingly calm as he said, “You were right. She should pray that she never sees me again.” His head turned then, and this time his senses did not fail him.

Eizan rose to his feet and swept wordlessly past Kawahira, stalking that newly-arrived scent like prey. He found Zadi skulking toward the stairs, dark hair matted and tangled, clothes grass-stained, and the faintest hint of a foreign smell clinging to her…a foreign smell that made his guts twist.

“Zadi,” he called sharply and she instantly whirled toward him, eyebrows raised as though questioning what he wanted. “Where have you been?”

Appearing put off by his questioning, she explained smoothly, “I went to track down Kanaye to confront him about Keito.”

Eizan registered some surprise at that. For all of her previous animosity, Zadi had certainly gone out of her way to prove her usefulness and loyalty. A good thing, too, since he was quite uncertain what it would take to actually kill the woman, especially considering that, of all people, Kanaye seemed thoroughly incapable of completing the task and he was one who rampantly handed out death just for his own amusement.

“Then I would guess it went better for you?”

“I would say it was about even,” she answered blandly. “But don’t worry, Eizan. I can safely bet that one of us will manage to kill the other eventually. Either way you’ll win.”

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She could not remember a time when he had needed more sleep than she did; it was a strange feeling, waking up wedged against him, her cheek to his skin, which was dry and hot, and hearing a heartbeat that was slow, as though determined to keep him under for as long as he would allow.

And she certainly did not want to disturb him, so Rin laid there, strands of his long silvery-white hair tickling her skin. He had caught her in a loose embrace during the remnants of the night, one hand resting against her spine, the other sprawled over one thigh as though staking a claim.

Truly, her heart was the antithesis of his sleeping one, pounding excitedly, gleeful with unspoken words. Was there a contentment that exceeded this? She could not imagine it. Her mind fell back to the night before, replaying the feelings and the caresses and….

That second time, when he had gently nudged her from sleep, pulling her back to him as though to make up for months of repression, he had whispered things to her in a voice that was so low she knew that he was meaning it for her ears alone, words that sounded lyrical coming from him. They had been unnecessary because she did not question what his feelings for her were, but she treasured them just the same and they echoed inside of her head as though he had screamed them.

And, for him to have said them at all, it was nearly the same act.

She lay there, determined to remain still for as long as was necessary. Faint white daylight was pouring through the screens, as though promising that the storms had moved on. Her ears were filled with the distant chirping of birds and the sounds of his slow breathing. Her eyes flickered across his skin, perfect and unmarred save for that scary-looking injury, which was, unquestionably and despite his declarations to the contrary, spreading slowly, creeping across his skin like a disease.

He needed Kagome’s help and she intended to see that they returned home for just that purpose. Sesshoumaru had his pride, but he was not stupid, and it would take a severe lack of intelligence to muddle through a painful, stubborn injury when there was someone nearby who could and would willingly repair the cause.

He must have been as surprised by his excessive sleep as she was because he jerked awake without warning, eyes snapping open to find the brightness of day glaring directly into his face. She took the opportunity to lift her head and look at him, again remembering him from the night before. He normally had a very cool, aloof expression, but it had been different…

“We need to go home,” she said quietly, one hand reaching up to playfully touch his ear. She allowed the hand to brush across the side of his face and it was as though a fire was being stoked underneath the skin, like something inside him was molten, feverishly trying to overtake him, just as it had Inuyasha.

His hand stroked lightly down her leg, as though still amazed that he was allowing himself to do such a thing, and his head turned to the doors. “He is waiting for you,” Sesshoumaru said softly, before turning to look back at her with an amused expression. “Your wolf.”

Rin blinked at him then looked toward the screen doors. Her hands folded around the edges of one of the blankets and she quickly wrapped it around her form, then moved to slide them open. As predicted, the massive, looming form of her wolf guardian was very calmly seated in the grass outside, tongue lolling out as he panted in what was going to prove to be an overly warm day.

“You follow me everywhere, don’t you? I suppose you slept all of that off?” Rin said in greeting, holding out a tentative hand which he loped over to roughly nudge. He then turned a displeased look toward Sesshoumaru who eyed the beast with bland challenge.

“She was mine before she was yours. Learn your place,” he warned mildly.

Rin turned back to him then, smiling at that canine rivalry. It seemed even Sesshoumaru and all of his dignity could not escape that basest of instincts. “We’re going home?” she questioned persistently.

He watched her, barely hearing the question. Something dark seemed to pass over his vision, he blinked, and what was before him changed…swift, anxious images; unreality set upon him, ringing through his skull like a shriek…

She asked him the question once more and Sesshoumaru’s head came up to focus on what was real again. It seems I will not be spared Inuyasha’s delusional experience after all, he thought grimly. And if that was the case, then it was indeed time to return to the others.

“We’ll go home,” he agreed solemnly.

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As she walked silently across the flower-strewn field, Elif recognized that she was taking the long way in approaching him. It had been difficult, being alone and anxious, wondering about the outcome of that battle. It had taken supreme restraint, forcing herself to remain separated from it even as she had felt that spike of jyaki, coating the air like lacquer. Her mind had imagined all sorts of terrible things, but she had not gone to them. Trying to stop this feud was akin to trying to halt an avalanche bare-handed.

If Sesshoumaru had won, Kawahira was dead. If Kawahira had won, Sesshoumaru was dead. It was a nauseating feeling, as much for the prospective outcome as for her mind’s utter confusion. Her heart was so torn that she had been rendered nearly completely ineffectual, but it belonged to her supposed “enemy”, just as her mind belonged to her brother.

I am a coward….

The winds shifted. The trees were suddenly blown flat by a gust that forced her to look up from her silent contemplation. The sun forced a glare into her eyes, but she was able to make out a figure, one that she at first hoped to be either Kawahira or Sesshoumaru, but the scent smashed both of those hopes and she shielded her eyes with quiet dread as she watched Kanaye descend the slightly sloping hill, stalking toward her as though she were prey.

And I very likely am…

He was smiling at her as he approached, but it was a cold, dead smile, one that matched what was in his amber eyes. Elif had never been this close to him before, but she could feel it, whatever it was…that intangible thing that had made her father so desperate to remove him from the conflict before it had even started. There was something very predatory about Kanaye, and it made her suddenly wish that she had armed herself before leaving home.

“It seems you’ve wandered a bit too far from home, sweetheart. Your father should keep a better eye on you,” Kanaye announced with false charm, an undercurrent of threatening intent lacing his voice. “Or are you here to retaliate for your brother?”

Cold dread clamped down on her throat. “Which brother?” she questioned calmly.

Kanaye’s eyebrows rose. “It seems news travels very slowly in the north these days. You’re late for a funeral. But that’s fine,” he added, hand smoothly falling to the hilt of his sword in an act to unsheathe it, “because you’ll be right on time for yours. But I do hope you’ll be more of an opponent than Keito was.”

Keito…

Elif took a defensive step backward, eyeing the gleaming metal, a twisted, strangely beautiful weapon, but one she was determined not to get too close to. “I’m not here to fight you, Kanaye-sama. I’m here to help Sesshoumaru.”

“I am willing to pass on a message,” he invited.

Feeling a surge of instinctive adrenaline, Elif kept her eyes on his wrist, waiting for the first hint of movement as she tried once more, “I have been on Sesshoumaru’s side in this. I warned him from the very beginning---“

“Ah, yes. About Inuyasha’s village and then Sashe took the blame while you wallowed in your cowardice. Your reckless act put my daughter at your father’s mercy and now you are at mine. Very nearly poetic, wouldn’t you say? But, sadly for you, I am not a merciful man.”

“You’re right,” Elif spoke quickly. “It is my fault that Sashe is in her current situation. I do regret that, but you’re wrong if you think that my father’s intentions toward her were ever anything but malevolent in the first place.”

“And yet you did not warn her? All the more reason to display your insides to open air,” he said in a deadly voice, and Elif’s mind compared him to a snake poised to strike, that same venomous, murderous look fixated on her with an ill will that was nearly physical.

“I don’t want to fight you,” she repeated, and truly, she did not because she had heard enough things to know to stay clear of this man. She noticed that the air around them had stilled, as though nature itself was waiting to see if she could talk herself out of the situation.

“A battle or an execution?” Kanaye frostily voiced her options.

Elif hesitated upon hearing that. “I don’t have a weapon…”

“Then I would advise you to pray,” came the unforgiving suggestion.

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It was affecting him and it was killing his pride. He felt overheated and heavy, as though iron weights were being stacked between his shoulder blades, and the source came from that throbbing injury that was refusing to give him a moment’s peace. It seemed sleep had done nothing save aggravate it further, and Sesshoumaru recalled Inuyasha’s delusions each time he saw blurred movement out of the corner of his eye and would turn to find nothing there.

It was irritating beyond words.

Rin’s lightly treading footfalls reverberated like clanging bells to his over-sensitive hearing, and even the normal whisper of winged insects assaulted him like the roar of a tsunami. He had new and unexpected sympathy for the hanyou, because this was truly exhausting. It was like something foreign was infiltrating him, tugging at his brain with threatening madness because he was beginning to sense things that were not there and feared that that would interfere with his ability to sense what was there.

Rin’s intuition had struck again. Insisting on coming home had been a good decision. Her being alone with him and his growing state of unease was not in the best interests of her own safety, though he would not say that. It would make her fear the wrong things.

And just as he had feared, he did not sense it before it was practically on top of him, and Rouyakan was fortunate that he still maintained his careful control because he reined in the sudden desire to destroy, which reared up well before his own recognition for the useless beast.

Without warning, a massive creature and a pair of very large, watery eyes were peering at him and Sesshoumaru heard his own cool dissipate with his barked greeting.

“What?”

“Sesshoumaru-dono!” Rouyakan exclaimed cheerfully, rushing forth to bow in obeisance and the odd, woodsy smell of the creature effectively smacked Sesshoumaru across the face and made him even more irritable.

“I have come to offer my assistance in your coming battle with the north, my lord! I and many others wish to aid you, as you have so often aided us in the past!”

Often? Not really, and certainly not intentionally…”Do what you want, but go away,” Sesshoumaru snapped, not wasting the energy on arguing his desire for as little interference as possible. Rouyakan and his youkai allies would be fortunate to even be able to find where the battle was taking place, much less be a help in it.

He watched as the forest guardian’s head came up to look him in the face, and for a moment he could have sworn there were two sets of massive, unblinking eyes leering at him. Another winged insect roared past his abused hearing and he reached out with a vicious lunge and plucked it from the air, melting it with a quick burst of poison from his fingertips.

“I am in a terrible mood, Rouyakan. If you want to live long enough to see that battle, my advice to you is to flee as you have proved to be so adept at doing,” Sesshoumaru hissed.

Rouyakan took that warning to heart and evaporated back into the forest, and Sesshoumaru turned to look at Rin, who was watching him with a hesitant expression. “I’m going to make this faster,” he told her, and before she could think of a reply, he had swept her up and she was encircling his shoulders with her arms, wind roaring past her ears.

She gazed down at the carpeting of trees below them, the heat of the summer sun washed away by the sweeping winds, cooling her face. She did not say anything, as he seemed very bothered, but she did experience one of those moments when she fervently wished that he was a normal man, without the ties of these responsibilities, so that they could ignore everything, just let the world turn around them.

She lost track of how long they remained in the air. His muscles were tensed and hard and she could feel the frenetic thump of his heart through his back, as though it was surging to escape him. She wondered if it was wise for him to be expending the amount of energy it took for this mode of travel, and no sooner had that thought left her mind when his body loosened, as though giving in to a pressing weight, and they dropped so quickly that Rin’s heart began to pound somewhere in the vicinity of her throat.

His hands tightened their grip on her, claws gently poking into skin, and then suddenly they impacted the ground more than landed, an unsteady, jarring halt that lacked his usual grace, and she heard him murmur an apology as he slid her off of his back, head turning, as though searching for something.

“What’s wrong?” she asked worriedly at his strange behavior.

Sesshoumaru did not hear her question. His ears were filled with the thunderous cacophony of battle noise and the overwhelming scent of blood and of Kanaye and of Elif. He was angry; furious, really, that they would pull him out of his way to break up an altercation. Half of him wanted to just ignore them, let them fight it out, but he was certain who the winner would be, and Elif would die without telling him whatever she had come to say. Assuming it was worthwhile…

Feeling thick-headed and slow, Sesshoumaru trudged forward, the clashing sounds becoming more and more unbearable until he was certain he would rip them both to pieces the moment he found them.

When he did locate them, it was to see Kanaye easily leap out of the way of one of Elif’s defensive claw attacks. Kanaye’s head briefly turned in Sesshoumaru’s direction before rearing his sword back to sweep toward Elif, but the attack was diverted when a snapping green energy whip latched onto the blade and sent the current-like attack crashing into a grove of trees.

“Tell me you’re not in one of your charitable moods,” Kanaye barked angrily, detaching his sword with sharp movements as Sesshoumaru rescinded the whip. His angry gaze darted toward the interfering youkai. “Honestly, you do this just to spite me, don’t you?”

Rin arrived behind Sesshoumaru, sight falling to Elif who was not looking nearly as smug as usual as she pulled herself back up from the ground, breathing rapidly.

“Fighting someone who is effectively unarmed is lazy, Kanaye,” Sesshoumaru coldly reproached.

“And I’m supposed to be lenient for stupidity? She may not look like much, but she’s better than her dead brothers. Don’t feel too sorry for her,” Kanaye muttered, sheathing his sword. “You’ve been saved for the moment, girl. Make sure you give him an extra special ego-stroking this time.”

Kanaye moved to walk away, but stopped briefly beside Sesshoumaru to whisper, “I would have fought you on this, but you know why I’m not. You’re lucky I nearly like you.”

Sesshoumaru let him pass without comment before sliding a molten gaze in Elif’s direction. At least that godawful noise had ceased, even if the trade-off meant that now he would have to discern the motivation behind Elif’s blatant stupidity. “What?” he found himself snapping out.

She took a hesitant step forward, eyeing him, as though not certain how best to answer. Her gaze flickered to Rin, then to a torn sleeve which her fingers moved to inspect. “I didn’t get to say everything I intended to the other day.”

“Some matters are pointless to discuss,” he replied with idle warning, highly aware of Rin hovering behind him.

“I told you that you need to reseal Eido’s grave, and that is fact. That aura will continue to spread. Demons can sense it and flee from it. Humans are not so fortunate. I am not certain how much that matters to you.”

“I concern myself with an exceptionally small number of humans.”

Elif nodded, working up a vague smile, though her eyes turned to Rin again and she felt her body tighten with a choking jealousy. Why her? “There is also the matter of Ryuujin. I think its increase in power stems more from Eido than Kawahira’s strength. If you reseal the grave, that might help limit its ability to inflict such damage.” As well as making Kawahira less of a servant to that wretched thing…

Sesshoumaru’s thoughts filtered back to Rin’s description of her part in the battle, the bow that had suddenly rejected her, something that had not been an issue until the grave had been disturbed. It was possible that Elif’s theory had merit. If what she believed was in fact true, then it seemed he…and Kagome, if she was willing…would have a task to complete before moving on to Eizan’s castle.

“I came because I can lead you directly to the burial site. You won’t have to waste time searching for it.”

Rin, listening to the odd exchange, finally spoke up, sounding faintly suspicious. “Elif…why are you doing this?” she questioned, not comprehending. The woman was actively helping Sesshoumaru destroy her family and something rang false about that, but Rin could not decide if it was her own gut instinct or inherent dislike for the youkai. She expected a rude reply, but Elif was all sincerity as she answered.

“I want this to be over. I am certain that Sesshoumaru will win in the end and that is deserved, since it was my father’s ego that renewed this conflict. I am helping him because I want to…and because…”

She paused and fixed a violet stare on Sesshoumaru’s face, and he had a weary, uneasy instant when his mind tricked him again and made him believe he was staring at Ashitera, pleading and hopeful and forlorn, all mixed into one expression. He blinked and Elif came back into focus.

“…I hope that he will spare Kawahira.”

“You are delusional,” Sesshoumaru returned icily, fully aware of the irony of that statement. “His death is non-negotiable, as is your father’s.”

A heated wind picked up, blowing into her face, and Elif was suddenly aware of every ache in her body from her fight with Kanaye. They were all hurting from this in one way or another. Except for Ashihei…and Keito…

“Keito was killed?” she questioned calmly, certain that she would not have to hear Kanaye’s prideful sarcasm coming from Sesshoumaru’s mouth.

“Yes,” Sesshoumaru said simply.

Elif went still, as though processing this information, a tightening pain in her chest manifesting itself with words. “I’ve lost enough, Sesshoumaru.”

“It’s going to get worse,” he warned unapologetically. “Place the blame where you like.”

Sesshoumaru turned his back on her to walk away, but his ears rang with her sudden intake of breath and the expulsion of the words, “I’m still going to help you!”

“Then be silent as you do so,” he grumbled in response as his steps moved him toward his home.

You will be yet another nuisance for me to have to contend with. His patience was waning more and more with every passing instant. It was astonishing to him how inexplicably muddled…and terrible…he felt. The summer sun’s heated rays were pounding down on him, and as he walked in the direction of his home, he experienced that strange flickering at the sides of his vision, consistently enough that he ceased looking for the cause of the movement in order to avoid appearing foolish.

And now he had two sets of footfalls pounding into his ears from behind. Elif was wisely staying quiet and had surprised him with her having restrained uttering something rude to Rin. Smart, considering that he was in a fouler mood than he could describe.

Unfortunately, he didn’t even have time to enter his own front door before another unwelcome face began badgering him. As he approached the house he eyed the roofline and the dog-eared creature that was hunched overhead like a gargoyle, eyeing him curiously, but still looking very much like an animated corpse that had been propped up in the sunlight.

“Oi,” Inuyasha muttered in greeting.

“What are you doing?” Sesshoumaru found himself asking before he could stop himself. Truly, the boy’s habits were nothing short of bizarre…

“Getting some fresh air, baka, what does it look like? I’m worn out on lying around in that crypt you call home.”

For that moment, Sesshoumaru desperately tried to recall why it was that he had wanted Tenseiga back to begin with. It certainly couldn’t have been inspired by a desire to keep this ill-mannered wretch in the world of the living.

“You look better, Inuyasha,” Rin called cheerfully.

“That reminds me…Kagome’s got something for you, Sesshoumaru,” Inuyasha called with wicked glee, and Sesshoumaru ignored that as he moved inside, ready for darkness and quiet, two things he was unlikely to encounter within his own walls anymore. You all are an infestation…

It was the miko who met him at the door, and he could not remember ever resenting anyone as he did her for blocking steps that were already energy-consuming. He swept past her without a word.

“Sesshoumaru---” Kagome began to call, but she was quickly cut off.

“Shut up!” came the thunderous demand and, thankfully, no one followed him.

------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------

The koi were active tonight. She could see their shiny, scaled bodies slipping through the water of the pond, coming back to find food near the surface after having hidden from the rainfall of the day before. Orange and white and black darted periodically past her sight, a pretty, soothing sight, even if the ground underneath her was still damp and somewhat muddy.

A familiar panting sound approached from her back and Rin could recall a time not so long ago when the very sound made her nervous, apprehensive, but somehow that fear had been extinguished. Certainly, she was still not particularly fond of wolves, and likely never would be, but this one...

She looked up as the massive beast trotted forward to peer into the water with her and Rin watched him, seeing the slight tensing of the muscles, as though he intended to hunt what he was seeing, but she stopped him with a gentle poke in his side.

"You don't get to eat those. They're for looking only."

He gave her a look that was so nearly human and long-suffering that she laughed at him. "You won't starve. I'll go make you something soon."

He leaned in to sniff at her and she froze, feeling slightly unnerved at allowing the wolf such close proximity. She wasn't afraid of him any longer, so she did not know why she still tensed when he would do such things, but she supposed that it was some instinct in her that was taking a while to become buried and forgotten. As though sensing her unease, the wolf nudged her ear and licked her right upside the face, making her pull back and laugh.

"That's disgusting," she grinned, wiping at her cheek with one sleeve, and he responded by sniffing at her ear until she began scratching his ears, and then he settled down with a contented growl.

"Who would have thought you could actually get me to like you?" she mused, fingers patting at the silky fur. "And you probably didn't even understand why I didn't like you at first."

His head came up at that and she remembered that he was no ordinary canine. He could understand her speech even if he could not reply in similar fashion.

She leaned forward conspiratorially as she whispered, "I am terrified of wolves. Did you know? It is not that I hated you...it was an old, childish fear. I am still afraid, but not of you." She drew back and eyed him speculatively, a look he returned. "I don't know how long you intend to stay with me, but you need a name. I suppose you do have a true name, don't you? Kouga would know it, but he is a wolf and I am not. I doubt I would be able to say it properly," she said with a grin.

"I think 'Aite' would be a good name for you...you have been both my opponent and my protector. It fits, I think," she said quietly. "Is it good enough?"

There was a low, responsive growl and she took that as an affirmative answer. She reached out and stroked his head again. "Thank you, Aite," she said, then cocked her head at the look he gave her. "And don't look at me like that. You know why."

His head came up then, ears flicking, and he looked back toward the house. Rin followed his intent gaze, watching as Sesshoumaru came outside, clearly disturbed by something. She rose to her feet, drawn to him as always. Honestly, it was as though whenever she saw him, he reminded her that she would rather be with him, in any way possible.

And he's willing to let me. Her heart was floating, consumed by joy and love and things she did not have names for. She had been certain that he loved her in his own way, and she understood how he was. It would take a great depth of feeling for Sesshoumaru to cast aside rules he had always so closely adhered to. His actions were all the words she needed to hear.

His head turned toward her and she was caught, as always, by that beautiful, perfect face, even if it looked wearier than normal.

"Is something wrong?" she asked quietly, catching hold of his hand.

"I thought so, however…," he informed her with vague confusion, watching as she turned his hand, fingers lightly stroking the magenta markings. "Should I ask the question in return?" he asked her, focusing past his false senses to her.

She shook her head, hair moving like liquid night with the motion. "I am very happy."

"Then why that expression?"

"It's difficult to accept and dwell on your happiness when there is someone out there actively plotting to take it away," she confided, wondering for the hundredth time why it was that no one else seemed able to get along well with this man. He was heart-breakingly sweet to her...and yes, Inuyasha and Kanaye and Kagome consistently complained about how obnoxious and self-absorbed and frustrating he was. Rin couldn't see any of that in him.

"That plotter is about to die," Sesshoumaru said in his usual blunt manner.

“And Elif?”

“I have no reason to kill her,” he replied.

Rin nodded in agreement at that. She had spent part of the waning afternoon in Elif’s company. If anyone could sympathize with someone over Kanaye’s harsh treatment, it was Rin, and Elif had been very subdued and polite, not at all like the Elif Rin knew. They had actually spoken, a conversation in which the once-hated youkai woman explained what she had done, her actions and the ramifications from them, and Rin had listened, wondering as she had listened to the words spill over themselves if Elif had been able to speak to anybody about these matters, especially if she was so easily pouring them out to someone she so disliked.

It had been an eye-opening discussion, certainly, and Rin found that the anger she had been keeping toward Elif was quickly changing into pity. She had once felt threatened by the woman, this gorgeous, perfect-looking youkai, because she had pursued the one Rin loved, but now Rin understood better, and could see why Sesshoumaru had restrained himself with her in the past, why he had been lenient. It was because he felt sorry for Elif, and for some strange reason that made Rin love him more.

She came out of these musings to wrap her hands around his arms, not sure what she wanted to say, and he wrapped his own arms around her in response. He lowered his head and she listened as he whispered something in her ear, throat constricting as she smiled and replied teasingly, "You're very charming, aren't you?"

"Ashihei was 'charming'," he mildly rebuked. "I am honest."

“You’re making me nauseous,” groaned a voice overhead. “But you’re right about that, Sesshoumaru. You’re about as charming as dirt.”

Rin felt Sesshoumaru’s hands tense for a moment before he released his hold on her, whirled, and flung a claw attack at the roofline, one that apparently connected with something because there was a surprised, squawking curse and the sound of a body thumping heavily to the ground.

“You appear to be fond of dirt, Inuyasha,” Sesshoumaru snapped, glaring at the facedown form of the hanyou, who pried himself back up from the ground, mumbling some words that made Rin wish she could close her ears.

Sesshoumaru did not wait for the hanyou to regain himself enough to escalate the matter into a fight, instead returning to his own room, head pounding from the constant over-stimulation of his senses, but at least it was quieter in here.

He seated himself in stiff-backed fashion on the bed, his thoughts tumbling over themselves in uncharacteristic disorder, a chaos that was frustrating. He was hyper aware of every movement in the house, every step banging against his ear drums, every scent heightened to the point of immersion. And that foreign discomfort, like something vengeful was chewing at his insides. But he refused to submit to it. If it was a battle of wills, he was entirely confident of the outcome. He could outlast anything…

And so he made a supreme effort to clear his mind, to focus on other things, matters that were clamoring for his attention.

His mind was so successful in its wandering that he was caught by surprise when a small body propelled itself at him from behind, one bony knee jabbing awkwardly into his back. She flung skinny arms around his throat in what he could only assume was meant affectionately, since she had become much too fond of him to purposefully attempt strangulation.

“What is it?” he asked calmly, watching out of his peripheral vision as Ashitera’s head popped over his shoulder.

“You’re back!” she proclaimed with childish glee. “And you brought Elif oba-san!”

“I’ve been back for a while,” he informed her, not correcting her on the fact that Elif had followed him and he had not spared the energy to send her away. He certainly hadn’t brought her.

“They wouldn’t let me come see you. Kagome-san said you wanted it to be quiet.”

He was certainly learning to be grateful for small favors….

“I snuck past her,” Ashitera confided in his ear with a guilty whisper.

He was also learning to curse the human tendency to fall lax in their attention….

“Do you want to see what Kagome-san gave me?” she questioned, crawling off his back like the monkey that she was and fleeing momentarily before the sound of rapid steps came hurtling back toward him. She flopped down beside him and extended a small box filled with what looked to be multi-colored writing implements, a thin book of paper seated in her lap.

“Sashe-san was going to teach me to write my name, but we had to leave,” she said mournfully, shaking her head with dramatic sadness, violet eyes pools of deprivation.

“Sashe?” he murmured, feeling odd at the mention of her name. “Strange, considering that when she was younger they had to force an education into her head.”

“Do you know her?” Ashitera asked, wide-eyed and seemingly amazed at such a thing. She then frowned, as though thinking of something and reached up to point at his forehead. “She has a mark just like that one.”

Sesshoumaru grasped gently onto the girl’s wrist before her sticky fingers could touch his face (What have they been feeding this child?). “Her mother and my mother were sisters. That is why we resemble each other.”

“Does that make her your sister?”

That gnawing headache worsened with every word from her mouth and began to add to his overall, general discomfort as he calmly explained, “No, that makes her my cousin. Our fathers were brothers as well.”

“I have brothers, too!” she chirped, then frowned. “But I’ve only seen some of them and they are older and they have other mothers.” She sighed and shook her head. “I don’t know.”

Ah, yes, Ashihei’s other illegitimate hanyou children. That bastard had nearly rivaled his own father in encounters with human women, but unlike Inutaisho, Ashihei had been exceptionally careless. Still…that might give him other options as to where to place the girl when this was finished….

He glanced over at her as she handed him one of the short writing utensils and extended the paper toward him.

“What?” he questioned.

“Can you write my name?”

You are unbelievably adept at pestering me, he thought, grasping the ridiculously short instrument and quickly scrawling her name across the page before handing it back to her.

She plucked the paper from his hands and looked it over, nodding fervently as though satisfied. “It looks nice, right? What does yours look like?”

“You refuse to say my name. Why would you need it in written form?” he questioned with an upraised eyebrow.

“Ses…shou…ma…ru,” she promptly replied in sing-song fashion, enunciating each syllable with methodical care, and he responded by taking the paper and forming the characters for his own name.

“That looks good,” she proclaimed.

“I’ve practiced enough. You should as well.”

When she seemed reticent to leave him, Sesshoumaru finally ordered her to go practice and not to return until she could form her name on her own. He had intended it to buy him some silence…and it worked. She evaporated from the room as quickly as she had appeared, but he could still hear the movement around him.

There were feet shuffling back and forth…light steps, so either Rin or Kagome…or Elif?...somewhere in the house. Snoring…Inuyasha. And that scribbling not far away. Scratching across paper, doing as she was told. She was oddly obedient. He could not remembering being so accommodating when he was a child…

Before his brain registered the movement, he was flat on his back, trying to relax, hot and aching, and furious at his body’s betrayal. It was as though someone was sitting on him, holding him in place, and when he closed his eyes and reopened them, he could almost have sworn he saw something there, and it made him angrier, because he knew nothing was.

Intense weariness caught up with him and he was sucked unwillingly into a black, restless sleep, one that constantly barraged the backs of his eyelids with unbidden sounds and images. He was briefly pulled out of it by the presence of Rin who would come and go, as though not sure if she should disturb him…then the sounds of hurried pattering steps once more as Ashitera hopped up beside him and shook him, crowing about her accomplishment as she shoved the scribbled piece of paper in front of his nose. He glared and closed his eyes again…was dragged under once more, back to that state that was like an inescapable current, pulling at him….

Then…distantly, he heard a gruff voice threaten Jaken with bodily harm…fought the urge to toss that child off of him when she worked again to get his attention, pulling at his sleeve, poking at him, patting his head like some pet…what did I say about her being obedient?...darkness again, this time even more hectic than the last…and then he was roused once more as another threat was issued to Jaken…kill him already….the toad’s rude reply….Kanaye’s low voice droning some sort of displeasure…and the brat…she finally mumbled something, laid down beside him, and went still. He vaguely wondered if she was that determined to speak to him….to lie and wait until…and the thought did not finish, because he was sucked under by that oppressive force once more…