InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ We Will Become Silhouettes ❯ No Lies, Just Love ( Chapter 21 )

 

 

 

 

We Will Become Silhouettes

 

 

Chapter 21: No Lies, Just Love

 

 

 

“Someone should go in there…this has been going on for too long.” Kagome quietly muttered, at the same time staring morosely at the door leading into Inuyasha's room. “They've been in there for over a week…somebody needs to treat Inuyasha's wounds.”

 

Miroku sighed, already having this exact conversation numerous times before, and always leading to the same results. “Kagome I know how worried you are, but you know what happens when we go in there…he won't let anyone near him.” By `he' he was of course referring to Sesshomaru, who had had Inuyasha in there with him ever since the healer had bandaged up the injured hanyou and told him their was really nothing else they could do.

 

At the time Sesshomaru had just dumbly nodded, picking up Inuyasha and carrying him to his room…and they hadn't moved since. Not only that, but as they both practically lie comatose in that bed, everything was turning to shit around them.

 

While Inuyasha lay dying in his bed, they also had the inconvience of the ruler of the Western Lands being missing, and the one person that usually ruled in his place having a mental breakdown as he held his lover in his arms as he breathed what could be his last breaths. Not only that, but the day that Sesshomaru had brought Inuyasha home, Amarante had disappeared from the lands without a trace…causing even more uproar as the servants around the manner were the only ones Miroku had power over to tell to look for her. Not that she deserved it mind you…he just didn't want Lord Inutaishou ripping his head off for not going after his wife when he finally did return.

 

The uproar of all of the reigning house being either incapacitated or missing had quickly spread through the lands, and Miroku had a sneaky suspicion it might have something to do with the big mouthed servants he had forced to go look for Sesshomaru's mother. Though he honestly didn't know how they thought they were getting back at him by bringing chaos upon their own homes. That was beside the point though. No, now he needed to figure out what to do about the two bodies in Inuyasha's room…he had already had to go about the painful process of dealing with the one Sesshomaru had uncermonesly left to fend for itself.

 

Not knowing what else he could possibly do, Miroku send word to the lord of the east, informing him of his daughter's fate. As he was writing the letter he felt nothing but guilt, knowing her parents were going to learn of her death by something as crude as a letter. Her parents didn't deserve it, but Miroku didn't know anything else to do. He was just a monk…a bad one at that. He had no idea how to run the whole of the western lands that had been placed on his shoulders due to the tragic series of events that had befallen the inu-youkai.

 

“I'm going in.” Kagome stated, sounding much more confident than she actually looked. …Miroku didn't blame her in the least, he remembered exactly what had happened last time she had tried the same thing, and it wasn't exactly pretty. It had resulted in her coming out crying her eyes out with a bloody scratch all the way down her arm from where she had tried to touch Inuyasha and mumbling about the travesty that had gripped them both.

 

Miroku reached out, placing a hand atop hers as it touched the rice paper door leading into the prince's quarters. She turned accusing eyes up to him, and the monk knew that he was going to get yelled at very soon if he tried to stop her…so he didn't, all he said was, “I'll go with you.”

 

As the door slid open the musty smell of the unwashed and bloody bodies assaulted his nostrils, which he thought was bad, since he didn't even have the heightened senses the two dog demons had. His eyes glassed over a little at the heartbreaking site of Sesshomaru staring lifelessly forward, still in the same blood stained kimono he was when he had brought Inuyasha in. He was holding the incapicated hanyou tightly, and had been since the healer had told him there was nothing he could do to help him…Sesshomaru hadn't spoken a word since. No, it was almost as if he had died then as well as he sat there holding Inuyasha, waiting for him to draw his last breath.

 

His hand was grabbed then, obviously by Kagome as she tried not to start crying like she had every other time she had come into this room. He couldn't handle this…Inuyasha was his best friend, and seeing him in such a state was tearing him up inside. He needed help…he couldn't keep holding it together when all he really wanted to do was hold Inuyasha just like his mate was. As selfish as it was to say, he needed Sesshomaru to snap out of it!

 

“Sesshomaru?” He heard Kagome try, and by the lack of disappointment on her face when nothing but silence responded to her he knew she wasn't even expecting an answer. “Can we take him out of here…we could let the healer look at him again…maybe his body is starting to regenerate properly.”

 

Silence once again reigned, and seeming to not give up Kagome stepped forward, pulling him right along with her. “Sesshomaru it isn't over…he could still wake up. The healer just said there was nothing he could do…he didn't say he was already dead.”

 

No, the healer hadn't said such a thing, but he might as well have by the way Sesshomaru had responded. It seemed he had lost his will to live then, and his soul had officially left his body, leaving only an empty shell in its wake. Hell, even as Kagome was saying that he made no sign to show he had even heard…that he could even hear anything outside of whatever was going on in his head right now.

 

Though Miroku knew that wasn't entirely true, Sesshomaru was still very much aware of his surroundings, even if he did manage to be trapped in his own hell. That was proved every time someone tried to get close to the pair…or rather Inuyasha…then they ended up like Kagome who now had four scars running up and down her arms.

 

“Sesshomaru we're worried about you too…you have to clean yourself up…it's not healthy to wear those clothes.” Kagome tried, all the while getting closer and closer, despite Miroku's protests.

 

The closer she got, the darker the aura around them became, until suddenly he could almost sense the overwhelming sadness echoing out of both their hearts. “Kagome.” He said calmly, although on the inside his chest was hammering at a million miles an hour. “Don't get any closer to them.”

 

The inu-youkai's broken face turned to them then, seeing them, and yet at the same time not seeing much of anything. No matter what had happened in the past, seeing the hollow dead face made Miroku want to forgive Inuyasha's one true love.

 

"Abandon hope...” Miroku's eyes widened in surprise at the barely whispered word out of Sesshomaru's mouth. He wouldn't have been so surprised, but those words were the first to have been spoken by the youkai since he had entered this room. “…prisoner to Hell... never escape unscathed...” The monk didn't know what to think about the seemingly random phrases, all he knew was that just hearing them coming from Sesshomaru made the strings on his heart pull a bit. “…forever tainted..." It hurt to hear him say them so much, for as he was the normally so stoic and put together demon sounded almost…scared. No, not only scared…petrified by something that only seemed to be happening within his broken mind.

 

“Kagome I think we should go.” He said quietly, not being able to take his eyes off the slowly falling tears pouring unnoticed from the youkai's eyes. Kagome shot him a disgruntled look, obviously not liking his decision at all, but he ignored it, still much to focused on how his heart hurt to even look at the pair. “…I…I don't think there's anything we can do to help them.” The words hurt him so much to admit, and yet he knew deep down they were true. “Maybe Lord Inutaishou can…but if we separate them we'll just end up causing more suffering between them.”

 

“…tainted…broken…alone…” Were the words once more whispered from Sesshomaru as he clutched Inuyasha tighter, and the monk honestly thought that he had no idea where he was at that moment. No, wherever he was it had certainly caused him a lot of pain.

 

“I'm so sorry Sesshomaru…” He heard himself mutter, grabbing onto his friend's wrist and pulling her towards the door. He stopped at the threshold, glancing back to once more take in the heart wrenching site. “…I misjudged you…you really do love him.” …He said those words, knowing that receiver hadn't heard a single one.

 

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

 

 

“He's back!” Miroku's head snapped up from it's resting spot on the desk at that. He had finally fallen into a sort of sleep, eagerly awaiting some change from the nightmare that had swept the land…and it seem, finally it had come. “The lord has returned!” A servant called, the excitement at the prospect of finally getting order back into the household clearly written all over her face.

 

After the hell he had been through this week, news that Inutaishou had returned made his heart soar. As excited as it seemed everyone was at the news, Miroku ran down the corridor and towards the front gate, bound and determined to get to him before anybody else breathed a word about the horror that had transpired in his absence.

 

When he caught site of the Lord he was followed by what looked to be 50 soldiers, far fewer than what he had set out with. Miroku wondered, had securing the village really gone so bad? As he took in everyone's weathered appearance, and how there seemed to be an aura of despair cast upon them, Miroku couldn't help but cringe. It seemed they had already been through so much, and now he was going to be responsible for bringing even more bad news upon them. Though he knew he had to say it, for as soon as they reached the castle gates they would no doubt smell the death permeating throughout the castle walls that was even strong enough for his nose to pick up, and given the circumstances, he really didn't want a soon to be grieving father to assume the worst.

 

“Lord Inutaishou!” His shallow voice called out, and he saw morose eyes turn to him, and somehow, Miroku suspected that on some level the Lord already knew that there was something amiss.

 

“What of my son?” The inu-youkai asked, and Miroku noticed how all the weary chatter of the band seemed to stop to hear the news.

 

Taking a deep steadying breath, Miroku prepared himself to say the hardest thing he could think of. “My Lord, Inuyasha may be dying.”

 

He watched in sad realization as shock, horror, and then finally despair settled over Inutaishou's features as cries of protests broke out through the entire field. It was obviously quite a shock to everyone that the heir to the West was in fatal condition, however, after the initial shock registered with Inutaishou, a calm grieving seemed to take its place as he got his bearings.

 

“What happened?” Simple, to the point, honestly Miroku was sure the youkai was struggling with everything in him not to lose it right there. Though the monk didn't know how much longer he would last as he jumped into the painful story, telling of Inuyasha's and Sesshomaru's return, the doctor's evaluation, Amarante's disappearance, and finally the state of the lands he had left were in now.

 

Inutaishou let out a shaky breath, and Miroku could see tears prickling at the corner of his eyes. Honestly, he didn't blame him. Miroku had just told him of the potential death of his son, loss of his wife, and downfall of his kingdom all in one sitting. For most that would be enough for an emotional breakdown of the highest magnitude, but Inutaishou held it in…proving why he had gotten the title as the Lord of the West in the first place.

 

“Why has Sesshomaru not been detained?” The Lord asked, overwhelming anger and sadness filling his voice. It was obvious that he was blaming this all on the traumatized youkai, and Miroku knew why. The monk had done the exact same thing…until he had seen him.

 

“Sesshomaru is with Inuyasha right now.” Miroku said this cautiously, but he never would have imagined the reaction it invoked.

 

“You let him near my son!?” Inutaushou bellowed! His eyes blazed red as his roar shook the entire kingdom. Miroku couldn't hold back his tears once he saw the anger and murderous rage etched across Inutaishou's normally calm face. He had hated Sesshomaru too! But now he couldn't…not after witnessing what he had become!

 

“You don't understand!” The monk screamed, wanting nothing more than to erase the images of Inuyasha's room from his mind. “He's broken…it's like his mind collapsed from grief once he returned with Inuyasha!” Miroku cried! “He's like an empty shell just waiting for someone to put him out of his misery!” He shut his eyes, just letting the tears fall freely down his cheek as he got a semblance of control over himself. “Sesshomaru has paid more dearly than any punishment you could think of could do to him.”

 

Inutaishou gave a sigh at that, as if already expecting the answer. Though by the way Sesshomaru acted he really failed to see how such a prediction could have been made.

 

“Is he at least responsive?” The inu-youkai asked, weariness once more taking the place of anger in his voice.

 

“No.” Miroku stated. “The only time he even moves is when someone gets near Inuyasha. He hasn't even sp…” Miroku stopped himself, remembering the heart breaking scene he had witnessed earlier. “Well he hadn't, but now…well he's saying something that doesn't make sense.”

 

“Abandon hope…prisoner to hell….never escape…forever tainted.” Miroku was so stunned to have those frightening eerie words spit back to him that it took him a moment to realize that he wasn't the one saying them.

 

Glancing into the crowd, Miroku noticed that the voice was coming from what looked to be a teenage Kitsune-youkai perched upon a stallion sporting a nasty broken arm. The monk had never seen the youkai before, but from the position he had at Inutaishou's side he would hazard a guess that whoever he was he was fairly important.

 

“How do you know what he said?” Miroku asked, wondering if the red headed fox demon was some sort of seer. As he said that the kitsune winced, forming a pained expression as he looked down at the monk.

 

“I don't think Sesshomaru would want you to know about that.” He then turned towards the Lord of the West. “May I go see him…I might be able to snap him out of it. After all I was there when he came out of it before.”

 

“Before?” Miroku asked outloud, absolutely baffled at this turn of events. However, he seemed to be the only one that was.

 

“Of course Shippou.” Inutaishou said sadly, and Morku detected a hint of guilt in his voice. “After he had come out of it we can question him about what happened with Naraku…Let's pray it isn't as long as last time.”

 

“Last time?” Miroku asked, getting more and more confused with every bit of information he received.

 

It was the kitsune Inutaishou had called Shippou that answered him, turning towards the monk with a troubled expression. “Yes, the last time this happened Sesshomaru was that way for almost five years.” Not sparing him another glance he turned back to the Lord if the West. “Now Lord Inutaishou, I must go see your sons at once.”

 

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

 

 

 

 

Shippou watched silently as the almighty Sesshomaru that he had once known lay there broken… in every meaning of the word. He felt his heart clench, when the moment that Sesshomaru sensed him, he tightened his hold on Inuyasha. Really, the young prince of the western lands would be his Lord's breaking.

 

He didn't know how to go about it… After all the years that had gone by, he knew when he was crossing limits with Sesshomaru. The demon was not one to mess with… he especially knew that first hand. But just knowing that his Lord could go back to the darkness he had been in while just a young pup… It made him want to cross those limits. It was the only way.

 

Sighing, he got closer to the futon, which he knew could be deadly if he made any wrong moves. The growling emanating from the strong inu-youkai wasn't helping with his nerves either. It was a warning to him, and he knew that he was about to take the biggest risk of his life by doing this… but it had to be done.

 

Shippou raised his right furry hand, claws summoned, and he gave one of the greatest youkai he knew the hardest slap he could muster under such pressure. Really, to have the guts to do that to an assassin was a talent all on its own. If he wasn't a bit frightened for his life at the moment, he'd be completely gleaming with pride.

 

He shut his eyes in terror as he assumed his throat would be ripped out from such insolence, but all he received was a cold hard stare. …A stare that forced him to crack one eye open, seeing a look of far away annoyance covering the dog demon's face.

 

“What's the matter Sesshomaru? Are you just going to sit there and let me hit you!?” He lashed out again, once more connecting with that finely crafted face, still receiving no response. Growling this time he slapped Sesshomaru again, angry that he was just lying there and taking it. This wasn't like the youkai he had grown up to admire! Swinging his hand out to slap again, he gave a hiss of pain when his hand was grabbed and twisted rather painfully so that he could hear the bones begin to crack.

 

Sesshomaru was snarling when he looked towards him this time, and the kitsune had a feeling it was because he had just been slapped three times. “Just what is it that you think you're doing?” The youkai hissed, and Shippou couldn't help but smile.

 

“Good! A response…congratulations Sesshomaru you're not bloodless!” Shippou hissed, feigning disgust even though he was silently thrilled. He managed to break the demon's concentration off of the hell he was in, and focus on something Sesshomaru knew a lot about…anger.

 

A healthy growl filled the room as Sesshomaru took him in. It had to be quite a shock after all, Shippou hadn't seen the youkai in almost fifty years. “Shippou?” He asked, obviously not quite understanding why he was there in the first place.

 

“Exactly!” The kitsune called. “Yeh know Sess, do you mind if I call you Sess?...I thought not…anyways, we have got to stop meeting like this.” He shook his head, forcing the smile down on his face. “Other wise I'm going to think you're a big pouter, and you're going to think I'm a half insane youkai with a flare for the dramatics and a tendency to slap things…and that really doesn't help anyone.” He nodded to himself, happy he had made the assumption. “Not me, not you, and certainly not your friend there who seems to be having a most difficult time waking up.”

 

At the snarl he received from that and the hand he barely was able to dodge that swung at him he would have to say that bringing up the Lord of the West's son wasn't that smart of a decision. Though he would keep at it, because at least Sesshomaru had a response and wasn't back in that torture chamber under going all the nasty things Naraku had in store for him.

 

“What's the matter?...Feeling guilty?” It took quite a bit of courage to keep antagonizing the half crazed youkai, but he knew that if he didn't no one else would, and so he kept on. “Tell me Sesshomaru, whose fault is it really that he ended up in this condition?”

 

“…I went to save him…I couldn't…I went to save him.” Shippou could tell that he was once more retreating into that shell, and so he broke that train of thought before it could succeed.

 

“Yeah and you failed miserably!” He hated this…he hated being this cruel, but he had to…because it was the only thing that was going to snap Sesshomaru out of his misery! “With a mate like you, it's a wonder you didn't hand him into the arms of Naraku even sooner!”

 

“Shut up!” Sesshomaru cried, fangs bared now.

 

“Tell me did he do the same things to Inuyasha as he did to you?” The inu-youkai's eyes widened at that, obviously not even wanting to hear the assumption.

 

“Shut up!” He tried to silence him once again.

 

“Did he tie him down in that room...Did he make him beg for it?” Shippou got even closer, signing his own life away by this point. “Did he make him like it…and hate himself even more for it?”

 

“I said shut up!” Sesshomaru howled, grabbing onto the kitsune's throat as he forced them both out of bed and across the room so that Shippou was pressed up against wall, struggling for breath as the other crushed his windpipe.

 

Forcing himself to remain conscious, Shippou motioned behind him, to where Sesshomaru had let Inuyasha fall the bed, a curtain of bloody hair covering his pale and mostly lifeless face.

 

Dropping Shippou as if burned, Sesshomaru immediately rushed back to Inuyasha's side, hefting him into his lap as if he didn't weigh a thing, turning furious eyes back towards the one who had forced him to leave his love.

 

“Why did you come here?” He hissed, gripping the sheets almost painfully as Inuyasha made no response against his chest. “Was it to mock my pain?...My failure?” He turned cold golden eyes towards him, and Shippou could see all the pain reflected in their depths. “I know I failed him…I fail everyone, but is it so much to ask that he at least die beside me?”

 

Knowing he had already broken through the haze, Shippou lowered his voice, coming over to sit beside the lord. “He's not dead yet.”

 

“Not dead yet…” Sesshomaru mimicked, letting disgust feel his voice. “The very words that have kept me going, and yet what of when his organs finally give way due to stress and he leaves me…can I live with `not dead yet' then?” His eyes were going far away again as he finished. “Can I even live without him?”

 

Shippou leaned forward, daring what few would and yet somehow knowing he wasn't going to be impaled as he touched the inu-youkai's cheek. “Could you live with yourself knowing you did nothing other than let him die in your arms?”

 

The hand that had been tentavily touching Sesshomaru's face was slapped away at that, and he looked down towards Inuyasha, once more threatening to go into his pit of hell that he called a soul. “What would you have me do? …He's not healing…He won't wake up.”

 

“Have you tried talking to him about it?” Shippou tried, completely serious, but from the deadpanned look he received from Sesshomaru he wasn't sure he was all that clear in his meaning.

 

“And how would you have me do that…He's not exactly awake you know.” Sesshomaru stated, talking to Shippou as if he were the dumbest thing on the planet for even suggesting it. …Stupid pretentious bastard, if he weren't in the position he was the fox would make sure to give him a good talking to.

 

“That doesn't mean he can't hear you…honestly Sesshomaru you can be so thick headed sometimes.” He received a glare from that, and Shippou sighed, knowing the inu-youkai was going to need proof to back his statement up.

 

Reaching with his one good hand into the sleeve of his kimono, Shippou pulled out a bag of what appeared to be dust, and after motioning towards Sesshomaru, laid it in the youkai's outstretched hand.

 

Sesshomaru held it up by the tip of his claws, sniffing the velvet sack before opening it to reveal the shimmering powder inside. “What is it?” The youkai asked with distaste, wrinkling his nose as he obviously sniffed some in.

 

“Well…it's a special concoction of mine…You know how crafty us kitsune's can be…just sprinkle a little of that on both your thick skulls and you'll be able to talk to him in his dreams.”

 

Sesshomaru looked up with crazed eyes full of disbelief, and threatening growl ripping through his chest. Well…that certainly seemed to put him on alert. “You lie!” He hissed, and Shippou put his hand up in defense, not all that sure he was going to walk away unscathed this time.

 

“I would never!” His voice dropped a few notes as he looked upon the sad pair, once more remembering how they had ended up that way to begin with. “…Just…just tell him the truth Sess…Tell him everything, and maybe…maybe you'll get through and he'll realize that there's still some fight in him.”

 

Staring down at the hanyou in his arms, Sesshomaru reached out, wiping a stray hair that had fallen in his face away, obviously contemplating what to do. “…And if there isn't?”

 

Patting him on the shoulder once more, Shippou got up from the bed, relieved that if nothing else he had at least gotten the youkai to speak. “Well if he doesn't at least you can say that you did something other than sit there and watch him die…and perhaps even if he can't hear it the confession will help you both.” Watching Sesshomaru's reaction the entire time, Shippou knew that he need a moment to think, and so without another word he backed himself out of the room, going to tell the Lord of West all about his sons' current fate.

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

 

 

 

This wasn't fair…it wasn't how it was supposed to be. He wasn't supposed to have fallen in love, and he most assuredly wasn't supposed to have had that love ripped from his grasp just as he had realized his value. Inuyasha lay weightless in his arms, not having moved an inch since he had passed out at Naraku's castle, giving testament to how very far away he was.

 

He had been lying there for hours since Shippou had left, the little skive being much more trouble than he was worth. Because he had previously accepted his fate…that Inuyasha would soon die and he would follow right along with him…but now he couldn't. That bastard had placed a seed of doubt in his head that had grown and festered in his mind until like a weed it had spread and left him feeling that he still might yet be able to make a difference. If he spoke to Inuyasha, could he truly get him to come back to him?

 

Cursing to himself silently, he almost wished he could continue to hide in his abyss, at least there he didn't have hope…at least there his dreams were no longer alive to be crushed. What if Inuyasha didn't respond to this? What if because of it he lost him even sooner? How could he be expected to make a decision such as this when he was barely hanging on by a thread?

 

What happened then when that thread was cut? Would he fall into nothingness once more? Inuyasha had succeeded in being the only one he could ever save him from his twisted fate, and so if he were gone, was there any way he could once more crawl out of the darkness and into the light?...would he even want to?

 

Sesshomaru shook his head, it wouldn't do well to dwell on these thoughts, because if he did he would slip back into that place Naraku kept him, and then that slim change would be nonexistent.

 

Taking a deep breath, Sesshomaru opened the bag of dust Shippou had left him with. Why was it that the kitsune always seemed to pop up in the inopportune moments when he was at his weakest? It had been like that last time he had saved Sesshomaru, probably without even realizing it. Shippou had been young then, barely a toddler, and yet he had made his way into Sesshomaru's room where none were allowed. His mother had been hiding him away for the past few years since the disgrace she had found him in had left him mute, and as his parents were visiting the estate Shippou snuck off and followed Sesshomaru's scent, jumping on top of the unresponsive youkai…and slapping him in the cheek.

 

A somewhat sad smile came to his face at the memory. He couldn't believe the brat had had the gall to do that again. He reminded him way too much of his spunky hanyou for his own good, and seeing the spiral Inuyasha's life had taken he would have to say that that was never a good thing.

 

Though…he supposed thinking about it he really shouldn't give the kitsune complete credit for saving him, because someone else had been even more responsible…even if he didn't know it at the time.

 

Feeling a bit stupid for doing it, Sesshomaru emptied the contents of the sack over both him and Inuyasha, resisting the urge to let out a very undignified sneeze. Gripping Inuyasha even harder, he pulled him up so that his lips were resting against the furry appendage he loved to play with so much. …Would he ever be allowed such a thing again?

 

“I can't believe I'm actually talking to your corpse…but then I suppose this way I don't have to worry about your smart ass remarks.” He clutched the body tighter, knowing he would give anything to actually hear one of those remarks. “…It was never my intention to hurt you, though I always manage to…” He trailed off. “In truth I hate you.”

 

Feeling his claws tightening he gripped the body even tighter. “You are a weakness in me that I cannot stand. I hate worrying if you're mad, or if you'll be alright. I hate the fact that you can make me lose it at the drop of a hat…that you can make me want you without even trying.” His ire was rising as he fought that treacherous sting in his eyes. “I despise the fact that you know all this, and yet you forgive me for it anyways.”

 

His voice rose as he pushed Inuyasha away from himself. “Why did you have to go to him!?” He growled. “Why'd you have to be so stupid!?” His claws contracted as he attempted to get control of his anger, not believing that he was actually screaming at his dying love. “If you leave me alone mutt I swear I'll gut you like I've always wanted!”

 

Not believing his insanity, Sesshomaru jumped from the bed, pacing the floors as he placed a hand over his face in disgust. “I never needed anybody! NEVER!” He glared hatred at the still unresponsive body. “Why then is it that you can make my world crumble? What is it about you that turns my prior intentions to dust!?”

 

Getting rather close to clawing out his own eyes he sprang back onto the bed, straddling the hanyou's form as he resisted the urge to strangle the half dead mutt. “Did you think that none of this was your fault? Did you think that I did everything to make us part…Did you really think there'd be no consequence for you fucking her?”

 

Reaching out, Sesshomaru fisted a hand in Inuyasha's dirty white main, pulling the unconscious body up so that he could scream at it properly. “What did you think was going to happen when you went there!?” The grip tightened. “He wanted me…He's always wanted me, and you just go and hand yourself on a silver platter!”

 

His fingers dug so hard into that scalp that he could actually see fresh pearls of blood sliding down his fingertips. “Maybe the reason I hurt you so much is because I like you scream…maybe he did dement me, but that is still my choice to make…and you went and gave yourself freely to him, knowing what he wanted from you!”

 

The anger had ebbed out of his voice, and still keeping a good grip on the scalp, Sesshomaru lowered them both onto the bed, letting his forehead rest upon his mate's. “How could you give the one I cherish most to the only person I truly and utterly despise?”

 

Rolling off the hanyou, Sesshomaru laid next to him, not being able to look at the dying face that he had just been yelling at. “I think it gives a example of your character that I can't even talk to your unconscious body without yelling.” He gave a small laugh, anger gone from his voice now to be replaced by that desolate sadness.

 

“I'd say we were never meant to be, but even I can't convince my brain that that's not a lie…you see that night you came to me and told me of your dream…I had the same one.” He rolled over, burying his face in his mate's shoulder, ignoring the pungent aroma of death as he took in his scent. “You told me you'd finally found the one person who could make you happy, but I didn't, did I?”

 

He couldn't do this anymore…he couldn't speak without those treacherous tears falling down his face. He needed to say this though. He needed to tell Inuyasha the hardest thing he ever had to say before the hanyou died and left him.

 

“I need you to know that even though I may never be able to hear you insult me again, see you smile, hear you laugh…kiss you…” He stopped at that, feeling his heart break as he struggled to finish this, his face already half soaked with tears. “I love you Dagger…” He whispered into that ear, wanting nothing more at that moment than to crawl up somewhere and die. He had never been very good at expressions sentiments of the heart, and he especially wasn't good at it when it came to Inuyasha.

 

What sentimental bullshit…whispering sweet nothings into the ear of his dying mate, the clichés were endless, and yet he supposed it would give his hanyou some peace in the after life to hear `I love you' rather than normal hatred that spewed from Sesshomaru's tongue.

 

Leaning down, Sesshomaru placed a chaste kiss on cold lifeless lips, not being able to stare down at the corpse his mate had become without breaking. Then, remembering the hate filled expression Inuyasha had muttered to him the day their mating bond had been broken, the youkai whispered. “You're the worst thing that ever happened to me.” Spitting the hateful words back at him before leaving the room for the first time in what felt like years.

 

As soon as he stepped over the threshold that led out of Inuyasha's room the chaos of the world around him seemed to come back at full force. His head was barraged with a slew of voices, chatting away like chickens from what seemed to be around the corner.

 

He could instantly recognize the voices of the ningen Inuyasha hung around, that wolf prince, Shippou, and Inuyasha's father. Were they all waiting patiently to see if their gallant prince had returned? If so…they should get used to disappointment, because Sesshomaru knew exactly what he had just done. …He said good-bye, because in his heart he knew that Inuyasha was never coming back, and certainly wasn't going to come back due to anything he said.

 

He rounded the corner, already knowing the uproar it was going to cause. What he didn't expect was the fist that came flying through the air, knowing him off his feet and sending him sprawling through air so that he landed on his ass.

 

Ignoring the dizzy sensation that came with having his brain crushed, Sesshomaru turned his head up to see Inutaishou glaring down at him while Shippou and Kouga attempted to hold him back from the strike.

 

“I shouldn't have trusted you with him!” Inutaishou's eyes were red and puffy, and Shippou's evaluation of Inuyasha's state obviously hadn't helped. “You're nothing like Touga was. He would be so disappointed to see how weak you've become, after all you tried to kill him in the very same way you slew your own father!”

 

Every bit he had managed to put himself together was ripped apart at those words, and he never even attempted to get up from his place on the floor…the shame was too much to bare.

 

“How did you…” He hadn't told anyone about the shame that had occurred in Naraku's castle, never wanting to think of that sound of pain Inuyasha made as his sword pierced his flesh again. “How did you know?”

 

“You don't deny it then?” Inutaishou hissed, shrugging the demons' hands from around his shoulder as he went off to the side, pulling along with him something that made Sesshomaru's eyes bleed red.

 

“Kagura!” He snarled, getting to his face as he took in the bitch's bound and dirtied appearance…it had obviously taken quite a lot to bring her in. “You bitch!”

 

“Keep him away from me!” She cried, backing up to try to shield herself from Sesshomaru's wrath. “I gave you your information! Don't let that psycho get near me!”

 

He controlled himself long enough to turn towards Inutaishou, hissing out his question. “Why is she here?” It was only really a formality, he'd rather just gut her and get it over with.

 

“She was captured at the village that Naraku's ambushed.” The Lord's voice was barely restrained. “She slaughtered all the people left in the village, and we managed to apprehend her and allow her to keep her life for information…”

 

That was all Sesshomaru really needed to hear. In the blink of an eye he was in front of her. He had always been hailed for his speed, and it seemed Inutaishou couldn't even keep up this time because in the next minute his hand was buried inside of her, surrounded by the blood and guts that kept her going.

 

“A sibling for a sibling Kagura.” He snarled, loving the unmatched fear in her eyes as she let out a silent scream. “But don't worry…I'll give you something you always wanted.” He snarled, twisting his hand painfully inside her as he heard screams echoing all around him, but he couldn't be concerned with that now. No, he leaned his murderous head in, sinking his fangs into her neck, close to the very spot he had bitten Inuyasha and ripping her throat out.

 

Blood shot everywhere as he removed his hand from her disgusting corpse, feeling a wave of satisfaction as he watched it fall to the floor. She deserved worse! Naraku had killed his stepbrother and she had just watched! …He'd do it again if he could!

 

The screams of protest died upon his ears, and he wondered if he had finally managed to tune them out, but then again he would never be so lucky and so he knew that that must not be it. Turning to see a no doubt furious Inutaishou for killing his prisoner he noticed how his eyes weren't even upon him…none of theirs were.

 

Feeling a nervous apprehension in his gut, Sesshomaru slowly turned around, wiping what he could of Kagura's blood on his already soiled clothes. Everyone's eyes seemed to be fixated on a spot behind him, and as he finally faced whatever they were looking at he couldn't help but stare as well.

 

“…Inuyasha?” He heard his own voice barely whisper, not being able to take shocked eyes off his mate who seemed to be barely able to hold himself up against the wall. But he was up! He was walking! He was awake! Hell, he was alive!

 

The still severely injured hanyou looked into his eyes, and for the first time Sesshomaru couldn't read anything within their depths. Why was he looking at him like that? Why couldn't he feel what his mutt was thinking?

 

Barely being able to move Inuyasha started to walk towards him, and fearing he would collapse Sesshomaru moved as well, barely being able to reach him before his lost his footing and fell forwards, right into the inu-youkai's chest.

 

Sesshomaru heart was beating at a million miles an hour at having a conscious Inuyasha in his arms. He couldn't think…he could do nothing but grip the shoulders of the thing he cared for the most. He was so far out of it that he almost missed when the hanyou looked up, making sure to stare him directly in the eye.

 

“Feh, why is it a bastard like you can always manage to make me go so weak in the knees?” Inuyasha bit out testily, but Sesshomaru ignored all that. He ignored all the pain he had been feeling…everything that had made him rather claw his own eyes out than live another day, because Inuyasha was…he was smiling.

,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.

 

 

A.N- AWWWwWW Omg I finished! Do you know how long I've been working on this hellish chapter? It took every bit of self motivation I had to get through it! But now…now I actually am gonna update all the time, because the story is out of it's hell period! It ended happy! HAPPY! And the bitch died! (cheers)

 

I know that you guys are prolly like not even reading it anymore after such a long update, but it'll be wayyyyy happier now…well as happy as I can write…Lol TELL me what you think! Luvs Yas! Review! And thanks so much for all of you that have stuck with me!