InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ What Are You? ❯ Chapter Twenty: Choices ( Chapter 20 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Chapter Twenty

Choices

When I came to, I was in a place I did not recognize immediately. I sniffed the air carefully. Rin and Jaken were nearby, and Aun was a little farther away. There were a few scents I didn't recognize—an old ningen and a hanyou. They must have followed through with their plan to drag me to Jinenji. Damn it. Jaken was going to learn just how displeased I was with him. Once I could stand up, anyway.

I made a vague attempt at getting up, but, as suspected, I couldn't manage with my head pounding the way it was. I still had not gained the courage to open my eyes. Somehow, I knew if I did, the world wouldn't make sense anyway.

Nevertheless, I forced my eyes open, pushing my own pain and fear of more aside. It was painful, and caused my headache to deepen from a throbbing to something akin to someone taking a mallet and pounding it against my skull. I did my best to ignore it (with little success).

I was in a small hut, laying on a blanket. The old woman was inside, grinding herbs with a mortal pestle. She looked at me. “Don't get up,” she admonished. This ningen was not going to order me around! I flinched as I forced myself to sit up, holding my hand to my forehead, pushing two fingers to my temples and rubbing gently. “I told you.” She shook her head. “You've got it bad.”

“What do I have, ningen?” I hissed, expertly keeping the pain from touching my voice.

She knew better, though. “I think you already know.” She raised one eyebrow at me. “You took a bad fall, you know. I had to look at the cut.”

It was painful, but I looked down. Someone had removed my armor. I glanced around the room for it, careful not to move my head. It was sitting in the corner, with my swords. Good. But not having them wasn't the frightening part. I looked down at myself.

“Your arm.”

I raised my arm, letting the sleeve fall back. Apparently, when I fell, I had landed primarily on my arm, and had injured my arm in the fall. By the cut to my clothes, I judged that it was my own armor that had pierced me. There was blood on the silk. Well, that was annoying. It was ruined, and now I had to get another one… But that wasn't the most annoying part of it either.

Why did my life go steadily from bad to worse within the past two months?

She would have had to remove the upper part of my kimono to help me. “I'm the only one who was there. I wouldn't let Rin or Jaken inside.”

“Jinenji?”

She shook her head slightly. “Oh, no. Just me, and I won't say anything. But you'll have to do something about that child growing in your womb if you want to pretend you're male.”

Was she suggesting… What I thought she was? I didn't have time to think about it. The stress of sitting up, moving, and trying to speak was too much and I fell back asleep again.

*****

When I finally woke again, I felt a lot better. I wondered if it had not been that herb she had been grinding. I got up slowly. My headache was gone. That was a relief. I wandered outside and looked around. Rin was nearby, somewhere. Jaken had gone with her. Aun was asleep just beyond the garden the hanyou was tending to. The old woman was beside the door, drying herbs.

“Have you considered what to do with the child?” she asked me.

I looked at her. Kill it? Should I? It would definitely make like easier, if I just killed it. At the same time, though… It was mine. Of course, it was Naraku's too, but it wasn't like that mattered much to me. Who the other parent was is of no significance. He was nothing—the important thing was that it was mine. Could I really kill something that was a part of me, though? The thought that I was doubting I could kill something disgusted me. Of course I could. It was all the damned female emotions surfacing. That was all. That was the reason I was being sentimental about nothing but a lump of flesh.

That may be so, but it was… flesh of my flesh. Growing in me.

Making me sick, exposing me, making me utterly miserable. I should end it now and kill it.

“Give me the poison,” I said in a low voice, so no one could possibly overhear, but she heard it. She nodded and rose. She went back inside and handed me a small bottle.

“Drink this, and your problems will be over.”

I nodded. “How may I repay you?”

The old woman scrutinized me for a moment. I wondered why. She gave me a price. I only frowned. Surely, that was too low. She had to know that, though. I wondered why she was giving me such a discount when I obviously did not require it.

“Rin helped with the gardening while you were out.” As if that would really cover such a debt. But, perhaps it was more that Jinenji was content and not so depressed with Rin around that she was giving me such a discount. That could be.

“How long was I unconscious?”

“Only two hours.”

“I meant before that.”

“The imp and the girl brought you here at late noon.”

I nodded. “Very well.” Good. That hadn't been too long, then. It was growing dark. I should be leaving. I went back inside to put my armor back on (more difficult than it should be), and shoved my swords back into my obi.

Now, I must go locate Rin and Jaken, then we were leaving. The old woman stopped me again. She gave me a package that smelled like dried herbs. “Take this. It's for the morning sickness. In case you decide to keep it.” Keep morning sickness?

“Unlikely.” But I took it anyway. Now, I had to go back to the weaver… again. It would really be easiest to leave Jaken and Rin. I should tell them I was leaving them, though, or Rin would worry, and Jaken would panic. Besides, I really had to hurt Jaken. It would make me feel better about my own problems, and he really deserved it this time.

As I walked away, I removed the bottle of poison I had hidden in my kimono and looked at it. Life was full of choices, wasn't it?

******

Note: My bad! Sorries! I uploaded the wrong chapter for Chapter Nineteen, but it's fixed now!