InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Where I Belong ❯ Chapter 1 - Back from the future ( Chapter 1 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

A/N: Hello everyone! Here's my second fic, I hope you like it. I'll try to make the chapters a little longer and I'm not sure how this canon will turn out like, but, again, I hope I stay truthful to the characters we all love. Please let me know what you think, constructive criticism is always welcome!

Kagome woke up and rolled on her back. She stared at the ceiling, with a numb expression on her face, without thinking about anything. She was just staring at the ceiling.
Her alarm clock hadn't ring yet and she didn’t bother looking at it, to know what time it was. She didn’t care and she knew her mother would come to wake her up when it was time. That happened an hour after she woke up.

ÒKagome, dear, you’re already awake? It’s time to go to schoolÓ, her mom said, opening the door.
ÒYes, mama. I’ll be down in a minute.Ó

Mrs. Higurashi gave her a sad smile and closed the door.
Kagome sighed and, reluctantly, got up. She went to the bathroom, put her uniform on and went downstairs.
She went straight to the front door, saying bye to her mother, who was in the kitchen.

ÒKagome, aren’t you going to eat anything?Ó
ÒI’m not hungry, mama. Bye.Ó

She left without giving her mother a chance to reply.
Making her way to school, she didn’t notice her surroundings, just looking down and walking slowly. Arriving at the school gates, she met her three best friends, who all looked at her worryingly.

ÒHey Kagome! Are you excited? It’s our last exam!Ó, Yuka said, trying to cheer her up.
ÒYes, we are graduating, Kagome! Come on, you could at least smile!Ó, Eri said.
ÒSorry guysÉ I’m just not in the mood. But yes, we are graduating, that’s greatÓ, she said, unenthusiastically, giving them a fake smile.
The three friends sighed. ÒKagomeÉ what’s wrong? Are you still upset over your breakup? It’s been three years, it’s time to move on. Your ex is probably with someone else alreadyÓ, Ayumi said. Eri and Yuka stared at her with wide eyes. ÒWhat? Maybe that’s a good thing. If he is and you knew that, maybe that would help you get over him.Ó
Kagome had tears in her eyes, although she was trying hard to not let them fall. The thought had crossed her mind, but she preferred not to think about it. ÒI know that, Ayumi. I know that he’s probably moved on and that I should have too. But I can’t, ok? I try to, everyday, I try to forget about him and the othÉ and everything related to him. But I have my bad days and this is one of them. So just back off, ok?Ó, she said, trying not to sound too harsh.
ÒOk Kagome, I’m sorry. I just want to see you happy again. It’s been too long and you deserve to be happyÓ, Ayumi said.
ÒYeah, we really think that you should go out with HojoÉ just to take your mind off your exÓ, Eri said.
ÒLook, now is not the time to think about this, okay? I appreciate your concern, but we have to go to class, the exam starts in five minutesÓ, Kagome said, ending the conversation.

The three girls nodded and headed towards the school.

Kagome was sitting at her desk, her exam in front of her, staring at nothing in particular and her mind in another era. The Feudal Era.
Since the well decided to separate her and Inuyasha, she hadn’t been able to forget him or her friends. She had a whole life in the Feudal Era. A boy she loved, friends who she considered family, a purpose. She felt as if it was her home. Of course she missed her real family when she was there, but she never missed it as much as she missed the others now.
Kagome was depressed and she knew it. She had no desire to get out of bed, no intentions regarding her professional and her personal life, she cried herself to sleep almost every night and she had zero patience with everyone around her. She was sick of it, but she couldn’t help it. It hurt too much. She didn’t know how she would go through life without them. Without Inuyasha.

ÒHigurashi, are you alright?Ó, her teacher asked.
Coming back to reality with a start, Kagome blushed and looked at her teacher. ÒYes, sorry.Ó She got back to her test and finished it.

Declining her friends’ invitation to go to WacDonalds, to celebrate their last day, she went home and immediately went to her room, plopping on her bed and closing her eyes. The best moments of her day were when she had time to herself, on her bed, when she could think about what she was missing. She thought about their times together, how much fun she had riding his back, seeing him smile, even fighting with him. And then she would think about all they could have had. Would he want her like she wanted him? Would he consider being with her, as boyfriend and girlfriend? Husband and wife? No, she didn’t think he would go that far. Sure, he liked her, he protected her, he even kissed her. But taking things to another level was a different thing and she didn’t think Inuyasha liked her that much. No, she wasn’t Kikyo, after all. She wasn’t anything like her, before she died, of course. Kikyo was much stronger, more beautiful, smarter, calm and collected. Kagome was pretty, sure, but she didn’t think she was anything out of the ordinary. She wasn’t dumb, but there were a lot of things about the Feudal Era she didn’t know about. Besides, she was clumsy, short fused and irritating, to Inuyasha at least.
But still, even though she knew she would never be with Inuyasha the way she wanted to, she would still take whatever she could, just to be with him. They could go back to just being friends, she wouldn’t mind it, if she could at least be with him, see him every day, talk to him every day, argue with him every day.
And then there were her friends. She missed Shippo badly. She felt maternal towards the kit and he amused her with his playfulness and his fights with Inuyasha. She missed cuddling him and seeing him do his fox tricks.
She missed her conversations with Sango and Miroku’s charming ways, always trying to win Sango over. She hoped they were together now. They belonged together and they deserved to be happy. She knew they would be happy together, they cared too much about the other.
Kagome opened her eyes, staring at the ceiling again. This isn’t fair. Why did this happen? I thought I could be happy after the jewel was completed. I belong with them. That’s where I want to be. What did I do to deserve this?
Kagome closed her eyes and shed a tear. At that moment, she decided she was done pitying herself. She wasn’t a victim, she wouldn’t go down this path. She was going to be happy, for the sake of her friends. For the sake of Inuyasha. She knew he would want her to be happy, no matter what. She owed it to herself, to make the most of her life. She didn’t regret having met him and she never would. She was going to be grateful to have known him and to have spent time with him and would think of him with happiness. She wished she could know if he was happy or not. She hoped he was. She hoped he would find someone to be happy with. If there was someone who deserved it, it was him. She was going to let go of the negative feelings and move on.

I will always love him. But I can’t kill myself over something I have no control of. I’m going to graduate, I’m going to go out with Hojo and I’m going to make an everyday effort to be happy.

She got up, called Hojo and agreed to go to the movies with him after their graduation. Then she went downstairs and told her mom she would like to go out to buy a new dress for her graduation. Mrs. Higurashi smiled and thanked God to finally have her daughter back.
Graduation day came and Kagome was doing a lot better. She was decided to make the most of her life and was enjoying the company of her family and friends again. She got ready for the graduation and took the time to put on a little makeup and style her hair. She met her friends at school and had a genuinely good time. Hojo came up to her and asked her if she was ready. She told her family good bye and made her way to the movies with Hojo.
They chatted on the way and Kagome thought things were going good. She thought that maybe she would be able to move on, eventually, and maybe she could develop feelings for Hojo. She hoped she would. He was a good guy that cared for her, what more could she ask for?
He bought their tickets and went inside. The movie began and she felt Hojo’s hand grab hers. She blushed and looked at him, who was staring at her with a smile. She gave him a small smile and turned to the screen again.
The movie ended and it was still clear outside when they got to the shrine. He walked her to the door and took both of her hands.

ÒHigurashi, uh, Kagome. I had a really good time today. Thank you.Ó
Kagome smiled. She was glad he was finally calling her by her first name. ÒMe too, Hojo.Ó
Hojo smiled and took a step closer to her, making her open her mouth in surprise. ÒI hope we can go out again.Ó
ÒUh, sure, I’d like thatÓ, she answered, feeling a little flustered. It felt wrong having him so close to her.
When she was about to turn to her door, he pulled her towards him and kissed her. She was uncomfortable at first and didn’t return the kiss. He pulled out and looked at her.

ÒKagome?Ó
ÒUh, sorryÉÓ, she said, looking down. Why can’t I do this? This feels so wrongÉ what should I do? No, things will get better, I just have to get over the initial awkwardness. Even though it didn't feel that way with InuyashaÉ
Without thinking too much, she just stepped closer and kissed him. She tried to only think about the kiss, blocking her mind of anything else. Hojo was surprised, pleasantly surprised, and kissed her back with passion, embracing her.
After a couple of minutes, they parted and Kagome smiled at him, saying good bye. Hojo smiled back and waved.
Kagome climbed the steps to her room slowly, trying to process her feelings. It didn’t feel rightÉ I hope it gets better with time. StillÉ I feel like I’m missing something. MaybeÉ maybe I should try one more time. Maybe I need closure. Just one more time and that’s it.

With that thought, Kagome made her way to the well house.