InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Where I Belong ❯ Chapter 6 - Unsettled ( Chapter 6 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

"Kikyo?!"
"Inuyasha", the miko said.
"W-what? How?"
"I know you must be surprised."
"Damn right I am! I thought you wereÉ"
"Dead. Yes, I am dead. I'm only here in spirit. After I died, I wandered and now I came back to you. I wish to speak with you."
"ButÉ how can that be? Your soulÉ it's the same as Kagome's."
"You are right. But the souls that fed me before I died the second time remained with me. And you must have realized, long ago, that she and I are completely different."
"YesÉ" Inuyasha said.

Kagome watched the whole scene by his side, speechless. They seemed to have forgotten she was there. She didn't know what to think or how to feel. She felt confusion, anger, jealousyÉ why did she come back?

"Go, Inuyasha" Kagome said, standing up, not looking at him.
He stood up as well and grabbed her arm. "KagomeÉ"
"It's alright. I guess you two have a lot to talk about. I'll be at Sango's." With that, she turned and walked away.

When Kagome disappeared from their sight, Inuyasha looked at Kikyo. "Please explain what's happening."
"Alright. As I said, I died, but my soul remained in this plane. I walked around, trying to find solace, but I couldn't. My soul, whatever it is made of, still craves you, Inuyasha. I thought I was ready to leave, to let you be happy, with her." She tried hiding a grimace. "But I can't. I know that might be selfish of me, but now I know I might be wrong. You didn't take her as your mate, did you? So that means I was wrong. You two don't belong together", she said, smiling weakly.
"That's notÉ no. I-IÉ Kagome was gone, after the battle. She was taken away from me and she couldn't get back. She only did a few weeks ago. WeÉ I still care about you, Kikyo, but I don'tÉ"
"I see. But I don't understand. She's been back for a while, so what's stopping you? Do you really want her, Inuyasha? It doesn't seem like you do."
"W-What? No, I-"
Kikyo interrupted him. "It's okay. I think I know why you haven't taken her as your mate. But I also know you're not ready to leave her, either. I will go now, but I will come back. I won't give up on you, Inuyasha. She's not for you."

Before he could say anything, Kikyo turned into a ball of light and disappeared.

Inuyasha wanted to go to Kagome, but he wasn't ready to face her, to face her sadness. He knew she was upset, like she was whenever Kikyo appeared in the past. He just wanted to take a moment to gather his thoughts and think about what just happened. He ran to the woods as fast as he could, hoping to find some escape.

Kagome walked into Sango's hut to find her nursing her son. She tried not to look sad, but realized that she was failing miserably when Sango looked up at her and her smile turned into a concerned expression.

"Kagome? What's wrong?"
"Well, you won't believe me, butÉ Kikyo is back", she said, slumping to the floor in front of Sango.
Sango gasped. "WHAT? But howÉ"
"Yep, she died. But her soul is still around, apparently. SheÉ wanted to talk to Inuyasha, so I left them at the Well."
Sango put a sleeping Seiichi down on the futon and reached for Kagome's hand, patting it lightly. "Oh, KagomeÉ I'm so sorry."
Kagome tried to smile. "It's okay. I meanÉ I'm not happy about it, but what can I do? Besides, they need to talk, I had no choice."
"Did you manage to tell him you want to be with him?"
Kagome stared at her hands, folded on her lap. "No. She got there before I could."
"Hm. Well, there's really no reason to be upset, right? You know Inuyasha cares about you and that Kikyo is in his past. I don't think that will change how he feels about you", Sango said, trying to cheer her friend up.
"I don't knowÉ he always chose her over me. Whenever she showed up, he ran straight to her. I'm not sure what to expect. In the end, I just want him to be happy."
"I'm sure that he wants to be happyÉ with you."
Kagome smiled. "Thanks, Sango. I'll go take a walk, okay? I'll be back soon."
Sango nodded and watched her friend leave the hut.

Kagome walked around the village, making sure not to go too far, hoping to see Inuyasha return. After a couple of hours and not seeing him anywhere, she decided to check Sango's hut.

"Sango? Did Inuyasha show up here?"
"No, he didn'tÉ did you check your hut? Maybe he's there working."
"You're right, I'll go see."
"Hey, Kagome, will you please tell Miroku to come back soon? It's almost nap time and I could use a little help."
"Oh Sango, I'm so sorry. I'll help you."
Sango waved her hand. "No, you have business you need to deal with. Besides, it's about time he changed some diapers."
Kagome smiled. "Okay, I'll make sure he leaves right away."
Sango smiled and Kagome took off.

"Hey, Miroku. Do you know where Inuyasha is?" She asked the monk, who was carrying a log.
"Inuyasha? No, I haven't seen him since he left with you earlier."
Damn. "Okay, thanks. Oh, Sango needs you. She says you need to get there now."
Miroku grimaced. "I know exactly what she needs me for. Oh well, can't get away with it, unless I want a large bump on my head."
Kagome smiled faintly. She was still wondering where Inuyasha was. She didn't want to go to the Well, afraid that she would interrupt his conversation with Kikyo. But still, it had been too long, they couldn't still be talking, could they? She decided to try her luck.
She was relieved and worried when she saw that neither of them was by the Well. She suddenly felt a surge of panic. Could heÉ no, he wouldn't. Not without saying goodbye first. But what if she dragged him? MaybeÉ that was the only way she could be with him, since she doesn't have a body now. No, that can't be true. He would at least convince her to let him say goodbye.

Kagome tried in vain to remain calm. She paced around, a million thoughts going through her head. Before she knew it, the sun was starting to come down.
"Oi, Kagome, what are you doing?"

She turned around and let out a loud sigh of relief. She ran to him and threw herself in his arms, not caring about what he might think.

"Inuyasha, thank God! I thoughtÉ I thought she took you with her. I thought I was never going to see you again." She took a step back to look him in the eye. "Where were you? I was so worried."
Inuyasha was blushing because of their contact and was trying to form sentences in his head. "IÉ I went for a run. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you worried."
"It's okay, IÉ I should have known that you would least come back to say goodbye if you went with her", she said, sadly.
Inuyasha gasped. "W-What? You think I would do that? Silly girlÉ" He hugged her again, burying his face in her hair, smoothing it. "I'm not leaving."
Kagome smiled. "Thank God. I thoughtÉ I thought she wanted you back." She felt him stiffen. "What? Did sheÉ" she said, pulling back from his embrace.
"UhÉ well, she said sheÉ sheÉ" Inuyasha didn't want to hurt her with Kikyo's thoughts about them. "Yes, she wants me to be with her."
Kagome felt the back of her eyes burn. "She does? W-What did you say to her? I mean, I know it's none of my business, butÉ I don't want you to go to hell with herÉ" She tried her best not to look anxious and was using all her might to hold back the tears.
"Who said anything about hell?! No, I'm not going to hell. She didn't ask me that, she just said sheÉ wants to be with me."
"ButÉ how? SheÉ doesn't have a body, does she? How would youÉ" Kagome blushed and stared at the ground.
Inuyasha was also blushing and he suddenly realized she was right. The only way they could be together was if he died, too. "No, I'm not going! That's the end of it, no more talking about her!"
Kagome let out another sigh of relief and looked at him, smiling. "Okay."
They made their way back to the village in silence and met Sango and Miroku for dinner.

The next morning, still without talking much, Kagome stayed with Sango, to help her with the children, as Inuyasha and Miroku went to the hut to work. Sango was hanging clothes to dry while Kagome held Seiichi. The twin girls were happily playing with Shippo a few feet away from them. She explained what had happened with Inuyasha and Kikyo to her friend and Sango gasped when she told her Kikyo wanted him back.

"How could that womanÉ she knows he loves you and she knows you love him too! How dare she!"
"I'm not so sureÉ maybe she knows Inuyasha still loves her and she thought she might give it a shot. StillÉ Inuyasha didn't tell me what he said to her. He just said he wasn't going to go anywhere."
"Well, that settles it then, doesn't it?"
"I would like to think so, butÉ she'll probably come back, try to take him again. What if he changes his mind?"
"I don't think he will, KagomeÉ but don't you think it would be better for you to tell him how you feel? That way he will know, for sure, that he belongs with you, here. He won't feel insecure about your feelings for him."
"I don't know. What if I tell him and he decides to stay with me just not to hurt me? He might even think he owes it to me, since I came back and left my family to be with him."
"I think it's still worth it. You should tell him." Sango said while picking up her son, shooing Kagome.
Kagome smiled and left.
She decided to wait for a better opportunity to talk to Inuyasha. Kikyo's appearance was still fresh and she also wanted more time to think about the implications of her declaring her love to the hanyou. She wasn't ready for a rejection and, with Kikyo back, she was even more afraid of it. And now, if something like that happened, she couldn't go running to her time. This was now her only home and she wouldn't feel that it was if Inuyasha rejected her.  
She went to Kaede, to help her with her herb garden, and the old miko quickly sensed the sadness in her aura.

"What ails you, child?"
Kagome looked up at her, while sitting on her knees, and brushed the back of her hand on her forehead. "Oh, it's nothing", she said with a fake smile.
"Don't lie to me, Kagome. It might help to tell me what is wrong."
Kagome sighed. Since she was Kikyo's sister, Kagome thought it would be better to let her know her sister was back. She told everything that had happened yesterday and Kaede listened quietly, with an open mouth.
"Well, that certainly wasn't expected. And I take it that her return has bothered you."
Kagome blushed. "YesÉ I just don't know what Inuyasha will do now."
"I know you worry, child. But do not forget, Inuyasha cares about you. I do not think he would give you up to be with my sister. She is long gone and he would be stupid to go with her. And I don't think he has the same feelings for her than he does for you."
"Thank you, Kaede. I know I should talk to him, I'm just waiting for a good opportunity."
Kaede nodded and resumed her work.

The next few days were awkward between Kagome and Inuyasha. They didn't talk much and Kagome could sense there was something bothering Inuyasha. She was afraid to ask what was wrong with him, afraid to know the answer. She decided he would tell her when he was ready. All she could do was hope it wasn't what she thought it was.
Oh God, what if he's really considering going with Kikyo? I don't know what I would do if that happened. What could I do? I wouldn't have anyone here with meÉ I know I have my friends, butÉ they all have their own lives, their familiesÉ I would be alone.

One day, Kagome decided that, even though it didn't seem to be the right time to tell Inuyasha how she felt, she wanted to make things better between them. She asked him to come outside with her, after having dinner with Kaede, and he took her to the Well and hopped on a branch of Goshinkboku, settling her beside him.

"InuyashaÉ I don't want things to be weird between us. Whatever it is you're going through, whatever you decide to doÉ it will be okay. Just know that I will always support you, as long as you are happy."
He looked at her with a serious expression and then smiled. "Thank you." She smiled back and lightly squeezed his hand. He squeezed it back and wrapped an arm around her. "I want you to be happy, too."

They stared at the fading sun, enjoying each other's company.