InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Which Me Do You Know? ❯ Consequences ( Chapter 11 )

Ch. 11: Consequences

 

With anxiety dictating their every move, Mr. Inutaisho, Sesshomaru, and Rin paced the waiting room. The doctors were pumping air into Inuyasha's lungs, and because he drank so much alcohol, they had to pump his stomach; part of the reason he passed out was from alcohol poisoning.

 

“I can't believe this is happening. Now I'll defiantly have to admit him to an institution,” said Mr. Inutaisho. “That is if he lives.”

“Inuyasha will make it, he has to,” Sesshomaru said. “I need him.” Rin didn't say anything; she was filled with tears.

 

“Sweat heart don't cry. Every thing will be alright; Inuyasha's strong, he'll get through this,” said Mr. Inutaisho while he hugged his daughter.

“What if he doesn't?” Rin asked. “What will happen?”

“I don't know sweaty, I don't know…”

 

How could Inuyasha do this? Sesshomaru thought. I can't believe you would be so selfish as to leave us, Inuyasha…why!? Why do you want to die?

I can't believe that I didn't see this coming, thought Mr. Inutaisho. Hoe could I have been so blind!? I can't blame anyone but my self…and those bastards who kidnapped him…

 

As if it were a gift from God, Inuyasha slowly opened his eyes, revealing a pair of glossy, confused orbs. Relieved, the Inutaisho family hurried into the room. As Mr. Inutaisho stood over his son, a smile followed by a tear appeared on his saddened face.

 

“God…” Inuyasha said in a very weak tone.

“No, it's Dad,” said Mr. Inutaisho. “You're in the hospital; you're alive, you made it.” Inuyasha took a few seconds to digest what his father had said.

“Damn it…” he said when his head cleared enough to understand that he had failed at his suicide attempt.

 

“Do not say that, Inuyasha. We need you with us,” said Sesshomaru.

“Sessh is right, son.”

“We love you,” Rin added.

 

“Really?” Inuyasha questioned.

“How could you even think that we don't love you?” His father asked.

“Everyone left me. They all hate me now…”

“Inuyasha…Nobody hates you.”

 

“Even if they did you will always have us. Is that not enough?” Sesshomaru asked.

“Dad…”

“Yes Yasha?”

“Do you remember how Mom use to solve everything? How she use to make things simple?”

“Yeah, I remember. When you got hit by a car, everyone was crying. Grandma was sobbing and people were yelling. That entire riot scared you even more. We all thought you were going to die, but through all that, your mother stayed calm. She acted as if you had simply fallen down, like those deep gashes were just little cuts,” replied Mr. Inutaisho.

 

“Whenever something bad happen we would always call for Mom and wait for her to get there.” A tear fell from Inuyasha's eye. “Now, it feels like we're calling for Mom to come…and we're waiting, but this time, she won't come…” Inuyasha began to sob.

 

“Your mother was an amazing woman. But I've learned a lot form her, and I know I can do the same as she would do. Don't cry, Inuyasha…Your mom's looking down right now and she's smiling. Do you know why she's smiling?” Inuyasha shook his head.

 

“She's smiling because she knows that we're going to be just fine…”

 

Before being emitted to a mental institution, Inuyasha stayed one night in the hospital.

 

**************Inuyasha's Journal at the Mental Institution: ****************

Week One:

The first few days of being in this place were hell without fire. The first day, I satisfied myself with pounding my head against the floor and the wall and shouting insults at the doctors. My SP and my paranoia were running wild that day. I kept saying that the doctors were going to rape me and torture me and I screamed for them to let me go, just like I did the first day I was emitted to the institution for two weeks (the first time I tried to kill myself).

 

Until I calmed down, I was put into the “lockdown” room, the classic coo-coo house room with white padded walls. When I calmed down, I was told that if I behaved I would be moved up to level one (the whole treatment had different levels, the higher the level you're on, the more privileges you got). In level one, I would be allowed to go to the school within the institution and be allowed to move into a more civilized room.

 

I behaved and went to group as I was told, and I was moved to level one.

 

Week Two:

 

Every day we followed a schedule: at seven thirty we wake up, take the morning pills, eat breakfast, and start the day's classes. The boys sit on one side of the room and the girls sit on the other. At noon, we eat lunch, boys on one side, and girls on the other. After classes, my therapist questions me, one on one, and then I go to group.

 

Until dinner, I'm free to go to the rec-room or sit in my room journaling. Dinner time: genders are once again slit up and we eat some crappy food before going to our rooms and meeting with our therapists again for a private chat, and we're given the evening pills.

 

The place is like a prison; we have to get permission to use the restrooms, we have to wear a gray T-shirt and grey sweats, except for when we go to church or we visit family, the only girl time I get is in the rec-room, which is heavily guarded, and there is NO TV! The ones who can watch TV is the level twos and above. Not to mention we are only allowed to write with felt tip markers, I guess they're afraid that we'll stab ourselves in the eye or something, as if!

 

I've been opening up at group and in the private sessions, hopefully I'll get bumped up to level two. I hate this place!!

 

Week Three:

 

Well, I got moved to level two. I now can watch TV and, but I still can't work out in the gym until I reach level three. Damn it! I've been feeling a little better, so I guess this place isn't all that bad. I'm hoping that they'll lower my dosage of happy pills; I feel like a dope head. I've meet a few people here, but not many; almost all of these kids here are crazier than I am, compared to them, I look completely sane.

Week Four:

 

I'm still not on level three yet. My doc say I'm doing good but they won't let me move up easy; they say I need to open up a little more in group and in the private sessions. I thought I've been doing well enough! I mean, I haven't told them everything, but I didn't think it would matter. I didn't know they'd be able to tell that I was still hiding some things. I haven't told them that I was raped when I was kidnapped and that I turned gay, and I didn't tell them that I tried to rape my boyfriend and that I beat him up; I just said I called him a lot of names and hurt his feelings.

 

Lately, I've been doing volunteer work around the place; they say if you help out, then you'll see the next level quicker. I've also been using my lovely charm on the older doc ladies, trying to win them over. “Even in this grey mesh I look rather handsome, I must say myself…” (that's what I told em)…=) So far, Dad, Sessh, Rin, Miroku, Niruko, kagome, and Sango and Koga have visited me. Next week, two guys from my band and Dad are supposed to come. I'm only allowed to have two visitors at a time. (Oh, visiting days are on Saturdays).

 

Week Five:

 

I have finally been mover to level three! I told my therapist in the private session about the rape and my attacks on my boyfriend, and that I'm gay and kissed my best friend. She understood that I didn't want to tell it in group, since it is really personal; however, I did tell the group that I was gay, but I didn't say why. My doc says that I'm making good progress and that I might be out of this place in a few weeks! I don't think I've know happiness until now! I get to work out but I have to go to church every Sunday. If I don't go I get put into lock down and put down to level two.

 

The best thing is that I get to go to movies and the mall, supervised of course. Level four is when you go on a camping trip and practice survival skills. Once you hit level five, you're out of this hell hole! I can't wait.

 

Now, I learning to deal my pain and I'm starting to forgive myself for what I've done to everyone. I'm starting to feel like an actual person and not a zombie. My docs are putting me on meds that aren't as strong as my old ones. The meds that I was given to even out my SP has started to blend the two personalities together so that I'm not extremely violent and crazy. I haven't had a sanity lapse yet, and I'm hoping that I won't have one for a while.

 

Two guys from my band ended up showing up on Saturday. They said that they all agreed to make the band an Emo band instead of Metal if I wanted, but said that it could be a mix of both. We changed the band's name to Black Heart's Asylum. I'm really glad I have the band; they're really supportive. I'm also really glad that I didn't kill myself. I hate to think of how everyone would be if I did.

 

Week Six:

 

Level Four here I am! The camping trip was so awesome. We got to go white water rafting, I've always wanted to do it but I was kinda scared that I'd drown, if you want the truth. We also went hiking and rock climbing. We climbed cliffs that were hundreds of feet tall. After I had finished climbing, I felt so invincible, I felt like I could do anything, like there was nothing in my way. My depression hasn't been bothering me, I haven't been paranoid, my SP is under control, and I don't need sleeping pills to sleep at night! I feel like I'm myself again, the old Inuyasha!

 

On Saturday, the last member of the band came to see me. This time, my Dad, Sessh, and Rin were all allowed to come too. I'm so glad; one more level and this place is history!

 

Week Seven:

 

Today is my last day here! Tomorrow I'm going home! I've been hyper and happy all day today. I was so glad that when I heard the news I wanted to kiss my therapist, but I didn't of course. Well, she is pretty hot…

 

******************THE END OF INUYASHA'S JOURNAL******************

 

At home, Inuyasha was completely relaxed. Mr. Inutaisho has been bouncing odd the walls himself. The night of Inuyasha's return, he gave the chef the night off and cooked dinner, well…he tried; the chick was underdone, the veggies were burnt, and the chocolate cake rose to high and flooded the cake pan. They went out to eat instead.

 

“I'm glad you're home, Inuyasha,” said Rin as she jumped on him.

“You're not scared of me anymore?” Inuyasha asked.

“Nope. I'm sorry I was scared of you though, you just weren't yourself.”

“Don't be sorry Rin. I know I haven't been myself this past year, and I'm sorry. But guess what.”

 

“What?”

“I'm myself now.”

“I know. I love you.”

“I love you too.” There was a knock at the door.

 

“Inuyasha, Niruko is here to see you,” Sesshomaru informed.

“Um, come in.” Niruko walked in the house and took Inuyasha in his arms.

“I'm really glad you're back, I've missed you a lot,” said Niruko. Inuyasha smiled.

“I've missed you too. Come sit down.” They sat down in the living room.

“Um Inuyasha…I haven't dated anyone since you left.”

 

Inuyasha laughed.

“Neither have I.”

“I told you that I still loved you and I still am in love with you.”

“Niruko, I've been home for about two weeks now. Home come you didn't visit me sooner?”

“I didn't see you sooner because I really didn't no what to say. I mean, I know it sounds really trite and all, but it's the truth. I didn't know how or when to ask you what I'm going to ask you until now.”

 

“Before you ask me, answer this: are you sure that you didn't come because you were still afraid of me? Were you uncertain if I was better?”

“Inuyasha, you can't be serious.”

“Oh Niruko, I am very serious. I'm not saying that you're lying to me. But can you honestly say that you weren't afraid of me until now?”

 

“Baby…I'm trying to ask you something really important,” Niruko said.

“So am I, baby.”

“It's like you're saying that you don't think that I really love you.”

“I'm not saying that. Now just answer the question, please.” Niruko started to cry. Well gee, like that doesn't give it away, Inuyasha thought.

 

“Baby, I'm not going to be mad. I'm just asking for the truth. What, do you think I'm going to go and hang myself if you say you were scared?”

“Inuyasha don't say that,” Niruko snapped.

“Then why are you crying?”

 

“YES, I was scared at first! I knew you'd gotten treatment but I was still scared. But then I snapped out of it. Please, don't take it to heart, Inuyasha. I love you. Don't ever hurt yourself again, please don't,” Niruko sobbed.

Inuyasha brought Niruko into his comforting embrace.

 

“I promise, I won't even hurt myself again,” said Inuyasha. He kissed Niruko and stroked his hair. For some odd reason, holding Niruko and kissing him felt very odd to Inuyasha, as if he were a straight guy kissing a guy. I know I'm gay, at least I thought I was Inuyasha thought.

 

Lately, Inuyasha hadn't been attracted to guys, not even when he thought about Niruko's body, or looked at the pictures they had taken, and he has been wallowing in the deep feeling he has for Kagome. (Um, eh… nude pictures).

 

“Inuyasha, will you be my boyfriend again?”

“Niruko…there's something I have to tell you. My doc said that a reason I might have turned gay so fast was because I was raped, and when my SP developed, it turned my dark said gay in order to deal with the rape better. I'm so sorry Niruko…” Inuyasha began to cry.

 

“I don't think I'm gay. I thought I really loved you, but I guess it was all lust,” said Inuyasha. “Please don't be mad at me. I'll always be with you. You're still such a great friend.”

 

“I'm not mad Inuyasha; I'm glad that you were honest,” said Niruko. “I might be gay but Kagome pretty amazing.”

“Yeah, she really is.”

 

When Niruko left, Kagome came over.

“Kagome, I'm sorry I pushed you away.”

“Inuyasha, you already said sorry a billion times when I visited you at the place and when I came over after that. Stop saying sorry, I'm not mad at you. Inuyasha you're amazing. You're such a great person”

 

Inuyasha, Mr. Inutaisho, Sessh, Rin, and Kagome were all sitting in the family room.

“I love you, son,” said Mr. Inutaisho.

“I love you too, Yash,” Sesshomaru said.

“Yeah, me too,” Rin agreed.

“I love you guys too.”

 

“And I love you too,” Inuyasha whispered to Kagome.

“I love you as well.” With that said, they engaged in a passionate kiss…