InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Whispers Behind Rice Paper Walls ❯ chapter 7 ( Chapter 7 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Chapter 7: A night of escaping the shadows in our own hearts.

"I don't understand!" the young woman seethed, letting her head fall onto the hard wood of the low desk with a loud 'thump'.

"You are human," the youkai female accross from her stated, as if it explained all her faults and inadequacies. She snorted haugtily when the young miko rubbed her sore forehead, groaning.

"Yea, I know that at least, since you keep on reminding me of my... condition. Thank you for your kindness, Sumire-sama." The girl massaged the brink of her nose in annoyance.

"Girl..." the noblewoman snarled.

"Yea, that too," she huffed. "It still doesn't solve the problem I'm facing here. How is it that there is a mistake in the records? It's as simple as a sum, and still it's not right," she mumbled between clenched teeth, unaware of the green glow now coating the haughty bitch's claws.

"What do you mean, human? That a youkai has failed in such a simple task? This is preposterous," the Lord's mother was still angry, but her curiosity was peeked. Her poison receded behind her skin... for now.

"Precisely." She flashed a winning grin at the female in front of her.

"Explain," Sumire demanded, one elegant silver brow quirked.

"Well, I know how well youkai of high standing are educated. So this mistake shoudn't have occured. It can only mean it was intentional," Kagome replied.

Casually, the little Miko stood and made her way towards the youkai female, sitting by her side. Sumire asked herself if the human was aware of the short distance left between her and the dangerous predator she was. She could slit her throat without a thought, but still the frail creature was seated inches from her, showing her something written on a scroll with short exasperated waves of her small hand.

Frowning at her train of thoughts, the inu female focused on what she was being told.

"See? It's written here. The food consumed by the court is not what should be. There's one person who's never eating anything, or you have weight-control programs in this era too. I know youkai are creatures of habit, and that eating is just providing for your bodies bla bla bla... but how is it that there's too much food for the number of inhabitants?" The Miko bumped her head on the table again.

"Do you mean to say there is one less member in this court than what is currently written in the records?" There was no animosity in her tone.

"Yup. But I don't know how that's possible. I've counted them again and again in my head, and I can't begin to see who's missing. That's why I came to you this morning, I thought you might help me understand." She looked sheepishly at her youkai counterpart, flinching slightly as she noticed how close they were.

And that's how the young Lord found them, his mother and his troublesome human courtesan, having an animated - well, the Miko seemed animated, the Lady kept her composure and poise of course - discussion about the population of the castle.

"It's not difficult!" the girl was saying, "There are six courtesans, including me, and we cosume food as if we were only five. I don't see any of us dying of starvation, so I don't understand."

What puzzled -internally- the Lord the most, was that the haughty regent of the castle was actually responding to the crazed creature sitting at arms' length from her, without any blood or internal organs being spilled on the expensive tatami mats.

Well, she had survived Naraku, and three weeks of sleeping next to him. So he surmised she had this kind of ability, after all.

He sighed inaudibly. She had the knack to penetrate his thoughts more often than anything had, too. How his brother could have managed to survive with such a diversion in his wake was a feat in itself. He almost could respect him for it.

Almost.

Because, all in all, he knew that she was the reason he was still alive and kicking. She had given him strength and courage.

And in turn, Inuyasha had given her... what?

Sesshomaru was quite aware of what kind of trials the Miko had to face for her beloved hanyo. She had faced pain, injuries, even death. She had faced loneliness, and the loss of her human family. She had traded the relative security of her own era against the dangers of this time. She still trusted him after the heart break and the insecurities.

And she had done it without even batting one of her luscious eyelashes. Without a thought, she had given him her love.

Kami, even Sesshomaru could admit to himself that he was a little jealous of the whelp. Only Rin had expressed this kind of devotion towards him, and this pobably because he had saved her from her otherwise gruesome fate.

What had done the half-breed to be worth such faith from her? He had tried to kill her during their first encounter. Well, so did he.

Would she show him this kind of loyalty? Would she smile at him with these sparks into her sapphire irises? Would she trust him with her life? Would she forgive him?

Would she love him, like she loved his brother?

He shook his head in dismissal. This was ridiculous, to think about her in such a way. Why would he care for the pointless feelings of one such as her? She was only human, a fleeting being with the distasteful habit of dying after only a few decades. She was frail, ephemeral. Just like Rin.

Why did he want to protect those who were going to go away from him after so short a time anyway?

%%%%%%%%

Kosui prodded her lithe body for injuries. If Taki had told her how rough the General was going to be, she would have never aggreed to this.

Of course, knowing this, Taki would have never warned her.

The young water youkai shuddered, remembering how the long night under that particular male's claws had been. Had she been weaker, she would never have survived the torture and seemingly rape she had been subjected to.

After all would be finished, her sister was going to pay in pounds of flesh.

Anyway, that male was deeply sick. Sometime during the night, he had begun to scream insanities only his addled mind had understood while pounding restlessly into her, scraping her hips with his claws...

She had loved every and each minute of it.

But now, she was quite sore, and she hurt all over. A long and warm bath was in order. And perhaps another little hunt tonight? She felt somewhat frustrated; she was eager to play the role of the predator this time.

The general had run out of uses, and now was the time to pass onto another phase of their plan.

The West would never know what hit them.

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The young human reeked of fear.

Since that fateful night, three days ago, when the ghost had made her live that gruesome part of her life, each and every evening was filled with shudders, whimpers, and the scent of her terror. They had even stopped playing their respective roles.

And Sesshomaru was beginning to realise he much preferred simulating a coit with a human female than bearing with her fright.

She was crumpled on the other side of the huge futon, body curled up in a small ball, shoulders trembling imperceptibly. Salt hit his sensitive nose for the umptienth time that day, and he snapped.

"Kagome," he nearly snarled.

"Sesshomaru?" she answered back, her voice hoarse, body still facing the far off wall.

"Stop this," he demanded firmly.

"I can't," she replied. The scent of her tears became stronger.

"What makes you so weak that even a warrior such as yourself would cower under the sheets? You who had defeated the evil Naraku with a single arrow, you would be afraid of the dark now?" his toneless drone was harsh, commanding.

"Your way of comforting me is awkward, My Lord. Or is it that you are unused as to the ways in wich human females can be reassured?" He could almost hear some humor in her statement.

"You may relinquish this particular wisdom to this Sesshomaru. It may be of use with my ward when she is experiencing nightmares." He smirked.

She turned towards him, still huddled in the fetal position and as far away from him as possible, but facing him at last.

"Humans convey their feelings by touching each other. When a small child, or a woman, is frightened, they need to be embraced. They need to find protection into the circle of strong arms. They need to find faith and hope for a better tomorrow within the warmth of their loved ones. And it's the same for men. Even the fiercest warrior needs somewhere to call home after the war is finished." There was longing in her eyes as she spoke.

"Wich one are you?" he asked, mesmerised by the pools of sadness shining amongst the fair silk of her skin.

"Huh?" was the intelligent response.

"Are you a woman or a warrior?" he probed.

"I am both," she said pensively. "I am in need of strong arms when I am frightened, but I long for peace and a place to call home after the battles too."

"Do you not already have a place to call home?" he asked, unsure if he wanted her to answer or not.

She stared at him for a while, hesitating to place so much trust in one so cold.

"May I speak my mind freely, My Lord?" she murmured.

He placed a barrier around them and nodded, feeling suddenly very curious.

"I don't think I can call your brother 'home'," she said honestly. "He's sweet, and I love him very much, but... I don't know if I could love him as deeply as he used to love Kikyo. He's in love with the memory of her, and I am the embodiment of that image. He's in love with the ideal Kikyo represents, but he doesn't realise I will never be her."

"Why do you stay then? Why come back to him?" he wanted to know.

"I... I don't think I would be wanted elsewhere," she replied in a small voice.

"So, you stay with Inuyasha because you are afraid of being alone? You left your family for this?" He was incredulous. The utter stupidity of humans would never fail to attain new heights.

"I made a promise," she sobbed pitifully.

"Hn," he snorted. He knew what it was like to live in duty and honour. It was not the happiest of lives. "Loving somebody means letting one go when we know one would be happier without us. Living in lies was never the right choice, Miko."

"What should I do then, Oh Mighty One? Should I abandon my dearest friend to his loneliness? Should I live in the shame of knowing I am one of no word or honour? And then, where should I go? The Powerfull Shikon Miko, the one who killed Naraku and made the Shikon jewel dissapear, the one who likes humans, youkai and hanyo alike? I'll tell you what is going to happen; I'm going to end just like Kikyo, like a wandering Miko without any friends and with many foes. The ones who would not covet my power would try to taint it, or worse, destroy me." She was angry now. Angry at him for telling her the naked truth, but more so angry at herself, for not realising sooner that she was acting out of fear alone.

He cut her fury down with a single, sharp sentence.

"You could stay here," he stated.

And her world went upside down. She blushed.

"What... what do you mean? As your conc... as your courtesan? Hum... Sesshomaru... I am a mere human; I am of no use to you, and the simple idea of touching me must be disgusting for one such as yourself... not to mention... I don't love you..." The last bit was murmured. Had his hearing not been so acute, he would have missed it.

He grunted, the discussion begining to be too uncomfortable for him.

"I would ensure your virtue would still be intact until the day you find your 'home', as you put it. And you are far more efficient than my other courtesans for the matters pertaining to the household. Furthermore, you have proven to this Sesshomaru that your company could be... enjoyable... at times."

"Oh... Okay... well, I guess I'll have to think about it. At least, peace is easy to obtain when around you." She giggled.

He raised an inquisitive eyebrow.

"Well, you are a youkai of few words, and... well... I've never heard you shouting obscenities... apart from the occasional 'worthless hanyo, die!' of course." He smirked at her, mirth shining in his outwardly impassive eyes.

"Kagome... There is one more thing this Sesshomaru would like to tell you." He paused, not in hesitation, but to be sure she would realise he wasn't lying to her. "One does not need to be romantically involved to enjoy another's touch, and you do not disgust me in the slightest."

"Hum... Okay... but, wait, I thought you hated to be touched?" She was puzzled, and curious. Who would have known The Great Killing Perfection would be.... all cuddly? She shook her head. The mental image was disturbing to say the least.

"On the contrary, like all dogs, I am quite affectionate by nature. Just not with anyone, and not at anytime. Warriors cannot show their weaknesses." He huffed, feeling angry for reasons he could not start to fathom.

"And with whom, pray tell, can you allow yourself to be affectionate?" She sounded suspicious.

"Pack," was the curt response.

She glared at him. He explained.

"Parents, close relatives." He nearly looked down, but managed to keep his eyes directed straight at hers.

"Let me get this straight, you mean... your mother... Jaken... Rin... Inuyasha? That's all? For all I know, I've never seen you even touch young Rin, not to mention Jaken or your mother... and, well, Inuyasha... you've been acquainted to his innards, but I can't call that 'affection'." She shuddered at that, remembering the look of utter boredom pasted on his features while his clawed hand had protruded from his brother's back.

"I have touched Rin... thrice." This time, he looked down, just a slight shift of his golden orbs, but Kagome had seen it.

"Yeah, one time while she was unconscious... the two other times, she was actually dead. I understand better why she was so fond of hugging me when you left her at the village," she scolded him.

He glared back at her, and she realised he had no way of knowing what a loving embrace could be. Knowing his parents, he was probably haunting the dojo as soon as he knew how to walk. She sighed.

"Sesshomaru-sama?" she asked softly. "Can I embrace you?" She blushed, but still looked him in the eye.

"Why?" He stiffened. Had he been standing, he would have assumed a battle stance.

"How can you comfort Rin when she has nightmares if you don't know what a simple hug is?" she said, creeping near him and reaching towards him with her outstretched arms.

"Hn."

He didn't flinch when her hand touched his arm; he never recoiled when she snaked her appendages around his waist; he didn't protest either when her head went to rest in the crook of his neck, her warm breath tickling his cold skin.

He had been much more intimate with women, even with this little human female, but never before had he indulged in this simple act of tenderness. She felt pliant and soft in his embrace, she smelt of honey, flowers and of something sweet and undeniably feminine.

She sighed and had begun to retreat from him when he decided he hadn't quite had enough of it. Applying pressure to the small of her back with one hand, the other went to scrape her scalp lightly, rubbing soothing circles under the silk of her ebony tresses.

He nuzzled her neck and inhaled deeply. Yes, he knew now what she had meant by “home.” Whether he had found it he did not know, but she had given him a little taste of it, and for this he was deeply and secretly grateful.