|
| "Whispers Behind Rice Paper Walls" Reviews/Comments [ 9 ] | Reviewed By: No body On: October 24, 2009 23:27 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 7 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
Its good
| Reviewed By: Drake Clawfang [MediaMiner Member] On: June 15, 2009 23:42 CDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 1 of 10 Comment/Review:
I made it as far as Chapter 3, then I read about Inuyasha going off to have sex with other women during the three years Kagome was gone and not thinking anything about it, and I checked my gag reflex and stopped reading. Ah well, I guess I never learn. If it is of any consolation to you, you lasted longer than most Sess/Kag authors do with me.
| Reviewed By: DemonandGoddess4ever [MediaMiner Member] On: May 02, 2009 23:55 CDT
Comment/Review:
Hi! I love your story, but I would like to point out an error in chapter six in Sesshomaru's last line. Onee-san in japanese means older sister and Kagome is younger then Sesshomaru so the correct term would be imooto or imouto. I like your writing style and there is very little grammatical or spelling errors [thank the muses!] in your story which makes it even better!. I hope you update soon! P.S. Inuyasha is a narrow minded, idiotic jerk =]
| Title: omg!!!!!!!
Reviewed By: loopy911 [MediaMiner Member] On: March 14, 2009 11:23 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
OH MY GOSH!!!!!! would you PLEASE update as soon as possible?!?!?!?!?! if you do i would love you for ever!!!! lol
| Reviewed By: wudelfin [MediaMiner Member] On: March 02, 2009 06:51 CST
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
very well written, love the plot and the interaction of the characters
| Reviewed By: ChaoticReverie [MediaMiner Member] On: February 28, 2009 17:35 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 5 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
Hello there. So, wonderful story. Good plot - very original - and smooth style of writing. It is highly enjoyable. One thing I have to ask you, though, is when did Inuyasha get separated from Kagome for three years? Are you saying that it has been three years since Sesshomaru took Kagome to his fortress, and that Inuyasha only just now came to her? Or did I miss something? Was there another period of separation somewhere along the line? If so, what happened there... or is it in future chapters? Lastly, the only real flaws I came to find in the story are the grammatical errors. Small things like, 'Not every mortals are as loving, selfless, and forgiving as you are.' 'Every' should be 'All', since mortals is plural, and 'every' would be used to describe a single mortal. OR you could have said 'Not every mortal is (singular) as loving, selfless, etc.. etc...' And there are a few times you used 'was', instead of 'were' and vice versa. A bit more singular and plural confusion there, or at times past and present tense mix ups. Either way, I would simply suggest editing your chapters carefully before posting. If grammar isn't your forte, then ask a friend to proofread for you. Don't take that as a slight against your writing skills either. You are a very good author, and I'm not flaming you... just a bit of constructive criticism. It is a good story, but little things like that tend to take away from it. As a fellow author, I know you strive for excellence, and all I'm trying to do is help you achieve that. I myself don't have any fics posted here yet. All of my stories are on fanfiction.net, but I plan on changing that soon. So, again, wonderful story. I can't wait to read more. Another thing that will get you more readers is if you fixed the title. It's a good title, don't get me wrong, but you should put in the proper capitalization for a story. 'Whispers Behind Rice Paper Walls'. I'm not telling you what to do, but I know for a fact that more people will read this if it looks professional. If the title looks amateurish, the readers will think the story is probably amateurish. But it's not, that's just the thing. It's a damn good story, and I want you to get the recognition you deserve. I know this will help because I am one of those people who will completely overlook a story if the title doesn't grab me. I gave this a chance because something just told me it would be better than it appeared. And I was right. However, not everyone might get that same vibe. Just try it out, you might be surprised. ChaoticReverie
| Reviewed By: Inusbabe [MediaMiner Member] On: February 27, 2009 15:20 CST
Comment/Review:
I see that you cleaned up that first chapter I think I saw a few other things but was too busy reading... I was LOVING it!! I hope there is more to come. Like why was Sess surprized when he "knotted"? I know Kagome would be, be he shouldn't unless he only 'knots' when trying to make a mate and create a child and had control over such things..
| Reviewed By: liz567 On: February 27, 2009 15:15 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
i really love your story! i love kagome and sesshoumaru together. keep up the good work and try to update soon :)
| Reviewed By: Inusbabe [MediaMiner Member] On: February 27, 2009 11:19 CST
Comment/Review:
Hi there I am in the middle of reading the first chapter... The story sounds good, but it looks like you left your Beta's notes in the story were she was trying to clean up some grammar and that is making the story a little hard to read.
|
|
|
