InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Whispers in the Dark ❯ Just Keep Ripping My Heart Out ( Chapter 2 )

Just Keep Ripping My Heart Out

 

It wasn't the fact that she still dreams of the heartbreak that occurred three years ago that brought her out of a nostalgic, stress-filled slumber. No, it was the pool of moisture gathering on the once warm pillow, now chilling her into an uncomfortable awareness. With a sigh, the girl slowly raked her fingers through her long brown tresses and with a flick of her wrist the covers that cocooned her in a tight wrap were now a silvery pool of silk around her ankles.

 

Walking slow with the thick aftermath of sleep still in her body, she made her way to the bathroom on the far side of her room lit with the pale light of a bedside lamp. Once her feet met the cold linoleum floor, she turned the faucets of the small sink on full blast, splashing the cold water into her face. Slow pants escaping her full lips, she twisted the faucets in the opposite direction, shutting the pressure off.

 

With the water still dripping off her face and the tips of her locks, she slowly lifts her head to face her own reflection in the mirror. In the dark of the bathroom, she could barely see herself, but that was ok. She'd seen herself cry too many times and had made a vow to herself. `Never again…'

 

Another heavy sigh escaped her parted lips, and she ran her hand up the wall, in no rush to see the wreck her face was sure to look like with her own eyes, her fingers just lazily traced the bumps and curves of the less than smooth wall until they ran over the switch. Never daring to look away from her trembling hand, she popped the light switch up and paused as her eyes adjusted to the change.

 

Reluctantly enough, the girl slid her eyes to the mirror positioned above the sink straight ahead. On another circumstance she would have recoiled away from the image she saw right then, but this new look had become her everyday appearance when she awoke.

 

Her bloodshot eyes swiftly swept over her face, taking in the pain that was clearly reflected in the bright overhead light. The chocolate eyes that used to smolder and shine now seemed faded and lifeless, the almond shape of them now swollen with the many days and months of crying. The once creamy and tanned complexion in her face that once blushed so easily now was a sickly, albino and clammy texture and appearance. The luscious lips that, in earlier times, looked soft and inviting, now were swollen from the teeth that tried so many times to bite back oncoming tears.

 

`I'm a wreck…' she thought with a strained, smile-turned-scowl expression on the face that didn't even seem like hers anymore. And she was right. Once she got proof that her lover had been steeling off in the dead of night, sleeping with the women that she thought only found him as eye candy, Rin was left torn up and not herself in the least. The once bubbly girl, so affectionate, so loving and lovable, now was just a broken shell of what she used to be.

 

Unaware of the defocus of her eyes as they glazed over with remembrance, she closed them tightly, pushing those thoughts deep into the back of her mind where she hid the most painful of memories and locked them away. She chewed at her bottom lip once more, feeling the usual lump forming in her throat trying to push up and shape a whimper from her lips. Risking breaking down and balling with a fit of tears, the opened her mouth, managing a few deep breaths and a large gulp as she counted up numbers until the dangerous lump disappeared. Releasing her lip from the nervous biting, she slowly opened her eyes, and gasped roughly.

 

Paralyzed. She couldn't move, couldn't speak, couldn't breathe. The weak heart that's been through so much these last few years, now beating in a quick frenzy, as if trying to burst through her chest. And for all she knew, it was. The girl blinked about a thousand quick times, but the body standing behind her in the mirror wouldn't leave her sight. Her mind was blank, her knees shook until they finally buckled and she crumpled to the floor. Then, the tears that had threatened to spill out of her eyes had come with such force that her whole body trembled and spasmed as she just lie there, clutching the empty space where her heart should've been.

 

She didn't know how long she'd been splayed on the ground like that, what felt like hours could've merely been minutes. But once her eyes had dried and her body was too weak to tremble any longer, she weakly pulled herself from the fetal position she was in, and walked like a zombie back to her bed.

 

On the night table, below the shelf with her lamp and a few other miscellaneous items, was a medium-sized wooden box. He had given her the box for one of her birthdays(which one she truly couldn't bear to remember)and it was full of all the pictures, love notes, e-mails and many other good memories of their relationship. It was a smooth, mahogany box painted white with black and baby-blue trimmings. That box was the only remaining object that kept her tied to him-other than her mind's memories.

 

Pushing away the pictures and papers piled up within the package, she reached what she was looking for at the very bottom of the wood.

 

Gripping the remnants of the glass heart sculpture he had bought for her on Valentine's Day, she pressed the sharpest edge to the inside of her forearm, and sliced through the tender flesh like she had done so many times before.

 

Long rivers of crimson twist and cascade down her wrist and curl into her hand as it clenches into a tight fist. The familiar stinging from the cut comforts her, and soon her ragged breathing slowed into low pants. Her heartbeat slowed in her chest and she pulled the sharp glass from the wound and set it aside.

 

Leaning down to reach under her bed, her hand searched until it found a crumpled bit of fabric. She sat up and held the towel that's been bloodied with previous occasions like this, and pressed it to the new cut added to the pictures on her arm, and began to wonder just why she saw Kohaku in the mirror behind her…