InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Who wants to be a millionaire: Inu-style ❯ Inuyasha goes bananas ( Chapter 5 )

Chapter five: Inuyasha goes bananas!

Me: welcome back everyone!

Audience: YAY! (Coughs)

Me: Well now we have Inuyasha in the chair.

Inuyasha: More like bonded to a chair. (Tries to break the spirit wards that bind him.)

Me: whatever. Okay question one for 100 "Why can't you read or write?" A) You were too busy smoking trees. B) Too busy trying to love dead girls C) your parents didn't want to put you in special classes. Or D) all of above.

Inuyasha: Damn You! What kind of bullshit question is that! I told you before I don't smoke trees! What the hell does smoking trees mean anyway?

Sesshomaur: it's a slang term for a type of drug that you smoke.

Inuyasha: I DON'T DO DRUGS!

Me and Sesshomaur: Sure, ya do!

Inuyasha: I refuse to answer this question! This question doesn't make any sense! THIS WHOLE FUCKIN' SHOW DOESN'T MAKE SENSE!

Me: NO it doesn't but you gonna answer the question Inuyasha!

Inuyasha: No the hell I ain't!

Me: Maybe if your grammar was so messed up you could answer it!

Inuyasha: who gives a rat ass about gamma! I do need no gamma.

Sesshomaur: Gez moron its Grammar not gamma. Learn to pronounce things right.

Inuyasha: Well maybe if I someone had teach me as a child instead of trying to kill me I would know that!

Sesshomaur: I should kill you now and take you out your stupid misery. Oh and its if someone taught me not teach me! Past tense stupid!

Me: Enough of these Gamma OOO I mean grammar lesson. Answer the question Inuyasha!

Inuyasha: Hell NO!

Sesshomaur: You can't even read any of these questions! So how do you know what she says is true? It could be what your favorite color but then again do you even know those?

Me: OO that's harsh Sesshomaur.

Inuyasha: shut up bastard!

Sesshomaur: no my mother was our father's real wife unlike yours.

Inuyasha: Why you…..

Me: SHUT UP! ANSWER THE QUESTION OR I SIT YOU TO HELL!

Inuyasha: Sit me all you like hag! I'll never answering that question!

ME: Hag? HAG! Oh hell nah you gone too far now mutt face! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! (Keeps this up till there about a six-foot hole in the floor and Inuyasha whimpering out.) Had enough or do you like the lemon taste of Mr. Clean?

Inuyasha: D and this my final answer.

Me: do you even remember what the question was?

Inuyasha: No but it doesn't matter since I have smashed the chair now does it? (Laying on his back in pain.)

Me: No it doesn't. Oh, well it correct anyways. Next question for 200 dollars "when that last time you brushed your teeth" A) never. B) Can't remember C) a few nights ago or D) fifty years ago.

Inuyasha: gee let me guess D and that's my final answer.

Me: right! Next question for 400 dollars "Are you still a virgin?" A) Yes B) maybe C) No or D) dead girl don't have sex.

Sesshomaur: This should be good. Don't lie Inuyasha.

Inuyasha: Oh hell no I'm not answering that! That's my own business to know!

Me: Inuyasha no one is going to laugh at you! NOW ANSWER IT!

Inuyasha: (growls and mumbles something.) This sucks (whispers) A and that my final answer.

Me: HEY don't whisper! What was it?

Inuyasha: (growls) A AND THAT'S MY FINAL ANSWER!

Sesshomaur: (LHAO) OH, MY GODS YOU NEVER GOT SOME!? (Laughs his ass off more.)

Inuyasha: I never had the chance so shut up!

Sesshomaur: meaning you never had a mate!

Audience cracks up laughing and make jeers as Inuyasha flies up out the hole and lunges at Sesshomaur who only pulls his choke chain. Leaving Inuyasha wheezing on the ground again.

Sesshomaur: so that explains a lot inuyasha the whole time you just been sexually frustrated. No wonder you hacked my arm off. Your demon senses never had a chance to fulfill their needs. Poor little mutt. Can't find someone like his mother that will just willing do it with ANY demon. Now can you chibi inu-chan? (LHAO)

Inuyasha: Fucking You Fluffy. Fuck this show! Fuck everyone! I just respect women more that all of you fuckers!

Sesshomaur: For a little virgin you sure you the F-word a lot.

Man in audience: Cause he can't get any fuck. So now, he wants to fuck everything.

Inuyasha: Why you! Wanna die little man!? (Jumps up in the audience and pulls out his sword.)

ME: Sit boy!

Inuyasha crashes down into the ground the audience starts to poke him with sticks and throw stuff at him. I grab the crushing and fluming hanyou back to where a new chair awaits him and I strap him back in.

Me: Okay settle down people settle down. Not his fault he was pinned to a tree for fifty years. Next, question for 1000 "who do you love more?" A) Kikyo B) Kagome C) Sango or D) none of the above.

Inuyasha: gee let's ask the audiences at least they can read. (Rolls his eyes.)

Me: You heard him folks vote now.

*A few minutes later*

Me: okay lets see what the audience picked. Okay 50% went with D and the other half went with A!

Inuyasha: gee that what I was thinking.

Sesshomaur: WOW! He's can think!

Inuyasha: (growls) Anyway, lets do umm another vote crap.

Me: You mean another lifeline right?

Inuyasha: Whatever.

Me: okay! AT&A dial Sonia's.

Inuyasha: who the hell is she?

Me: A friend of mine. You see the phone a friend lifeline phones my friends not yours.

Inuyasha: that's not what you said backstage!

Me: too bad I lied.

Sonia: Hello and I already know what's going on so just ask me the question.

Me: m'kay "who do you love more?" A) Kikyo B) Kagome C) Sango or D) none of the above. And you meaning Inuyasha!

Sonia: ACK! Inuyasha! Well he complex I know it no Sango but then a again he might. But it's between Kikyo and Kagome though he doesn't give a crap about Kagome when Kikyo around but then he hates to see Kagome cry or go home. He acts like he can't live without her but then when Kikyo shows up he doesn't even know Kagome exist! So I have to go with A) Kikyo the wandering bitch! Bye. (Click)

Me: (hangs up the phone) well that's was very….

Inuyasha: stupid! I don't know who I love more. I don't love any of them more! I hate this stupid question! I leaving now!

Me: No you can't!

Inuyasha: Yes hell I can BITCH!

Me: WHAT DID YOU CALL ME! (Starts the sit-a-thon till yet the chair breaks under Inuyasha weight and he makes another hole.)

Inuyasha: (crawls out after several minutes.) Why you sadist little brat!

Sesshomaur: (sarcastic voice) Hey look I'm Inuyasha and I have more respect for women then all you Fuckers. (Laughs out loud.)

Inuyasha: I tried of this SHIT! (Pushes the red button) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Me: Well now he eliminated himself.

Sesshomaur: should have done it a long time ago.

Woman in the audience: So what now?

Me: Hmm I don't know guess this is the end and Sesshomaur the winner.

Sesshomaur: How did I win?

Me: You kept you sanity longer than anyone else.

Sesshomaur: Yeah I guess so but its gone now.

Me: hey can I call you fluffy do you mind?

Sesshomaur: No, not at all.

Me: lets go cruising in my car.

Sesshomaur: then can I go home?

Me: Sure, I'll even drop ya off.

Man in audience: what about us?

Me: I dunno go smoke trees or something. (Laughs evilly and pushes the yellow button.)

Audience: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! (As the fall down in a big black pit.)

*Outside in the nice sunlight and in the car*

Fluffy: hmm you not bad for a hanyou. Your also as bad as me.

Me: WHOA, you can tell?

Fluffy: Of course, I can smell the fox demon in you.

Me: now you know why I got rid of Shippo so fast.

Fluffy: (nods.) This story didn't make much sense however I enjoyed being in it.

Me: (shrugs) well I don't have anything better to do.

Fluffy: what about your Super Mario story or whatever.

Me: Oh yeah! Almost forgot about that one but its almost finished.

Fluffy: nice car you got.

Me: thanks it was cousin little Jetta but its mine now.

Fluffy: what happen to your cousin?

Me: went to college and just had to get a SUV.

Fluffy: we should hang out more. We could cause a lot of trouble.

Me: Like a date or what.

Fluffy: Yeah like a date. I'm hungry lets get something eat.

Me: Okay.

The end