InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Who wants to be a millionaire: Inu-style ❯ Kikyo get hers ( Chapter 4 )

Chapter four: Kikyo gets hers!

Me: HIYA folks welcome back. Only three players left. So let's make it quick.

Man in audience: what was the question again?

Me: GRRR! The question was "How many jewel shards did Kouga have?" Now answer board show us the answers from our constants.

Inuyasha answer: (the screen is blank.) `0 sec'

Me: how come you didn't answer Inuyasha?

Inuyasha: FEH! Get off my back. I sick of trying to write I don't know my letters anyway.

Sesshomaru: He doesn't know how to count either. Tsk, tsk.

Me: AY. Next, two answer please.

Kikyo answer: Who cares? `Two secs'

Sesshomaur: It doesn't matter as he was yet another worthless demon that fell in love with another equally worthless human. `Ten seconds.'

Me: well all those answers are also wrong. (Whisper to the judges.) Well Kikyo, I guess we'll go with yours. Who cares how many jewel shards Kouga had if he is gone now. Come on up.

Kikyo come over to the chair as the audience throw rocks and soda cans at her.

Me: Hey, that one almost hit me! Stop it now! First, question for 100 dollars, "What does Inuyasha do to trees?" A) He smokes trees. B) He live in trees. C) Hugs trees Or D) all of above.

Kikyo: hmm D and that my finally answer.

Inuyasha: WHAT! I don't do any of that stuff! Stop laughing Sesshomaur! (Growls.)

Sesshomaur flips him off and keep laughing along myself. The audiences is in an uproar with laughter and jokes.

Me: well that is the correct answer!

Inuyasha: WHAT THE F**K! That is not true.

Me: It doesn't have to be true it only has to be correct. Next, question for 200 bucks "When was the last time Inuyasha took a bath?" A) Fifty-years ago. B) Three weeks ago. C) Last night or D) he never took a bath in his life.

Kikyo: D and that's my final answer.

And yet, another outburst of laughter and jokes are heard in the crowds. Inuyasha is fluming and making death threats and is in near tears. Sesshomaur doges all his attacks and float above his head laughing.

Me: (calms down.) okay lets' see hmm that is also correct.

Inuyasha: GRRR. Sesshomaur used too bathe me and put soap in my eyes and fill my ears with water. And I took a bath a few….

Me: BLAH! BLAH! BLAH! Anyways next, question for 400 dollars "What time does Inuyasha's show starts?" A) Who cares? B) Start what? bathing. C) Who wants to know? Or D) when ever we what him to start.

Kikyo: A and that's my final answer.

Me: your right! Next, question for 1,000 "why is Inuyasha's kimono pinkish red in the manga?" A) Cause over fifty years pass without it being washed and it faded. B) He is colorblind and can't even tell his colors. C) He a cross-dresser or D) He looks pretty in pink.

Kikyo: hmm let's ask the audience.

Me: Okay. People vote now.

*A few mins. later*

Me: lets see what the audience picked. 50% with went B and the other 50% went with D.

Kikyo: I don't like those two answers let's go with 50/50.

Me: okay fine. Answer board take away two of the wrong answers leaving the right one and one wrong one. (Little computer noise.) Oh now you have what half the audience pick which is B and now C.

Kikyo: Well I pick C and that's my final answer.

Inuyasha: I'm not a cross dresser! The answer is clearly A. It faded over time.

Me: A was an incorrect answer. Besides what do you know you can't A from D anyway now can you? Learn to read then try arguing with me about it. Anyway, next question for 5,000 dollars "why doesn't Inuyasha look more like a cat than a dog?" A) His mother had a secret affair with a cat demon then lied to his step-father who took him in as his own son but really isn't. B) His father lied cause he really was a cat demon and both Inuyasha and Sesshomaur are cat-demons too. C) Inuyasha smoke trees too much when he was a child or D) He got some cheap plastic surgery but it failed and now he looks like a cat.

Kikyo: That's a hard one.

Inuyasha: WHAT! Ain't this a bunch of….

Me: Shut up Inuyasha you know half of these are true! Anyway, Kikyo the only lifeline you have left is phone a friend. What to use it.

Kikyo: Yes please.

Me: Okay AT&T please call Lisa now.

Inuyasha: What the hell is Lisa gonna know? I don't know Lisa and Kikyo doesn't know no Lisa! Who the hell are these people? There not our friends.

Me: SIT BOY!

Inuyasha's body crash to the ground once again leaving indent on the floor for everyone to laugh at him. I get a choke chain from my podium and attack it around his rosary. (Laughs evilly but jumps back when he jump up.)

Inuyasha: What the hell? You're the one making fun of me!

ME: Too bad. (Pulls the chain hard leaving him choking on the ground. With Sesshomaur laughing his brains out.)

Lisa: UMM Hello?

Lisa: doing another stupid ass story aren't you?

Me: YUP! How can you tell?

Lisa: Your voice. Hurry up with whatever you want cause I watching Sponge Bob.

Me: I'm doing who want to be a millionaire and I need an answer.

Lisa: whatever hurry up with it.

Me: okay darn okay. "Why doesn't Inuyasha look more like a cat than a dog?" A) His mother had a secret affair with a cat demon then lied to his step-father who took him in as his own son but really isn't. B) His father lied cause he really was a cat demon and both Inuyasha and Sesshomaur are cat-demons too. C) Inuyasha smoke trees too much when he was a child or D) He got some cheap plastic surgery but it failed and now he looks like a cat.

Lisa: Hmm. Yeah I watch that episode with his mom hmm. (Thinks more.) I go with A cause she looked like a tramp and probably was if she fell for some demon and she was a human. Do one demon you do `em all! Bye.

Me: Bye enjoy Sponge bob! (Hangs up the phone.) Well Kikyo, you heard what Lisa said are you going to go with Lisa answer or chose other?

Kikyo: I go with Lisa's answer. A and that's my final answer.

Inuyasha: What! (Wheezes) My mother wasn't (wheezes.) no tramp! (Wheezes) wait till I can breath again (wheezes) bitches! (Wheezes) I show you a tramp! (Wheezes and passes out.)

Sesshomaur: Hmm I heard of Lady in the Tramp but never Lord and the Tramp. Tsk. Tsk father your taste in women.

The audiences laugh their asses off with that one and yet out uproar of laughter is heard in the studio. Kikyo stays their sitting with a big smirk on her face.

Me: Ahem okay. Next, question for 6,000 dollars "Why did you try to kill Kagome?" A) She was getting in your way. B) Her BO was messing with your senses C) you want your jewel shards. D) All of above

Kikyo: D all of above and that my final answer.

Me: That's is a correct respond. Next, question for 36,000 "why doesn't Inuyasha wear shoes?" A) he can't afford them. B) He sold them so he can get some trees to smoke C) there no payless where he is. D) He too stupid to wear them.

Kikyo: B and that's my final answer.

Me: That is correct. Next, question for umm 64,000 dollars. " How many people can play on the PS Inuyasha game?" A) Four B) six C) two or D) who would want to play that crap?

Kikyo: c and that my final answer.

Me: (have lost count of the questions and money values and shrugs all wells) Good next question for 84,000 dollars "Why wasn't Miroku wearing underwear?" A) Cause perverts don't wear underwear B) He needs help. C) Sango took them the night before and wouldn't give them back. Or D) He lost them while he was with Sango the night before.

Kikyo: I heard them that night and it's D and that me final answer.

Me: correct and now for the million dollar question (drum rolls. And loud gunshots are heard. Inuyasha wakes up.) "Who is the boss?" A) Missy-Bee. B) Frank C) Inuyasha or D) Lisa.

Kikyo: What kind of question is that?

Me: Hey, I read as I see them alright. Now answer it or leave cause you don't have any lifelines yet.

Kikyo: I need thinking time.

Me: okay!

*A few minutes later*

Me: well have ye figured it out yet.

Kikyo: No. More time.

*A few more mins*

Me: Listen no more time. Now answer it now!

Kikyo: fine. Lisa is the boss. My final answer is D.

Me: That's answer is…. (Drum rolls) WRONG! I'm the BOSS! See you in hell but hey, you get to keep your 64,000 dollars and watch it burn with you. Bye now (pulls a lever as the money comes out but the chair drops down taking Kikyo with it. the audience cheer and throw beer bottle and soda can and lit up gym sock down the hole.

Inuyasha: KIKYO! (Tries to run away her but Sesshomaur pulls on his choke chain.) Why you (wheezes) Bastard! (Wheezes) Sesshomaur (wheezes)

Me: LMAO! Ok next fastest finger question. "How did Kikyo get most of those answer right?"

A few minutes later

Me: okay answer board show our two finalist answers.

Inuyasha answer: evbl botch ` two minutes and twenty-nine secs.'

Sesshomaur: WOW Inuyasha finally learnt how to write! Too bad, he still can't spell! (Laughs.) And he took all that time to write two misspelled words.

Inuyasha: Let's see your crappy answer then. Fluffy boy!

Sesshomaur answer: It's really quite simple this show makes no senses therefore the answers should match the show. Besides what she said about Inuyasha was true therefore she deserved to win 64,000 dollars. `Two minutes and fifty-five secs.'

Me: Hmm wow both answers are correct even though one is misspelled. Let's go Inuyasha.

Inuyasha: Hell no! I ain't going on that chair.

Me: INUYASHA COME HERE!

Inuyasha: FEH nothing' doing. You a sadist little girl and I refused to be on this show. I get the hell out of here. (Walks over to the door and pulls out his sword.)

Sesshomaur: STOP YOU LITTLE FOOL!

Inuyasha: Shut- up Fluffy! (Starts running towards the door.)

Sesshomaur: Gods no! I can't watch. (Thinks a bit) Yes, I can.

Inuyasha swing his Tessiaga at the door only to be basted back into the chair and be fried like a my dad's BQQ.

Sesshomaur: Dumb ass! The doors and windows are locked and have a force field around them. Don't you think we all would have left if it was okay to get out?

Inuyasha: SHUT UP! MY HEAD, HURTS!

Me: Mainly cause you fried what little brain you had left.

Then the loud sound is heard. The end of today shows.

Me: Aw, that's the end of today's show. Any last words boys?

Inuyasha: OH, MY I SEE STARS! Look every there floating around my head. (Passes out.)

Sesshomaur: Dumbass mutt!

Me: TSK. TSK. Brothers' theses days.

Sesshomaur: That's my line and I'm not a brother to that losers.

Me: And you point is? (Rolls eyes) See ya next week folks.