InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Why Not Both? ❯ Chapter 1

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

Why Not Both?

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Inuyasha.

-cCc-

This was it.

The final battle was done and over with, and Naraku gone. The jewel was whole once again, purified, and in Inuyasha's hands. And the fire-rat clad hanyou was standing in the middle of the battlefield, in between Kikyou, and Kagome – just as he'd been since the day Kikyou was brought back.

Everyone was staring at him, expecting him to move, to make a choice – but they didn't understand that he was literally paralyzed by the struggle within him. He couldn't move, because the two disparate sides of his personality were fighting for control of his body, and his future.

The human side wanted Kikyou, it always had. She made him whole. But the youkai side hated the undead miko – she wanted to kill him. No, the youkai side of his heart, loved Kagome, completely, in the way that only youkai could love. He considered the younger miko the other side of his soul, and he wasn't willing to give her up, as well as his own life, just so his human side could live with that clay woman.

And that was why Inuyasha was unable to move, or even to speak. The titanic clash of both sides of his soul was keeping him locked in place, and unless both of those sides of him could come to some sort of agreement, standing in the middle of that battlefield was where he'd be for eternity.

'I have the jewel, and can use it to become human for Kikyou like we planned to do so long ago – why are you fighting me?' human Inuyasha asked youkai Inuyasha.

“Why should I have to die to please that bitch,” youkai Inuyasha snarled back. “Kagome doesn't ask for any part of us to die – we should be with her. Only with her can we be ourselves!”

'We owe Kikyou! She died because of us, we cannot turn our back on her!'

“No, you owe her, I don't owe her anything. I'd rather see her dead, since that's what she wants for me. Why should I care what she wants?”
The argument inside his mind continued back and forth for some time, and all those watching began to wonder if this would ever be satisfactorily finished, with their companion still unable to make the choice between the two women. Sango, Miroku, Shippo, and Kirara couldn't understand the problem – in their eyes, the choice should be clear, and easy – Kagome.

But Kagome, on the other hand, understood, and hated seeing him so frozen and torn. With a sad sigh, she moved, heading for him, and Kikyou, not to be outdone, did the same. Once she reached him, she touched his arm, feeling the tension in his muscles – his body was literally locked in place.

“Inuyasha?” she voiced in a questioning tone.

Throat tight, he managed to swallow, and then answer. “Y-yeah?”

With a shake of her head, she sighed again. “You still can't decide, can you? Talk to me – what's so hard about this? Maybe I can help break the deadlock in your mind.”

Kikyou shifted, staring at her reincarnation with burning eyes. “I'm not about to let you sway him to your side – I will listen as well.”

Kagome rolled her eyes, beginning to get a bit annoyed. “That's the difference between you and I, Kikyou – you want to own Inuyasha, and I just want him to be happy. If he chooses you, and he's happy with that choice, then I'm not going to fight that. You would – because you're selfish.”

As the undead miko gritted her teeth with anger, Kagome turned her gaze back to the hanyou. “So go ahead, Inu – what's making the decision so hard?”

Eyes pained, he met her gaze, and she was fascinated by the sight; they were flashing between the red of his youkai, and the violet of his human side. “M-my human side loves Kikyou, and wants to choose h-her, but my youkai side loves you, and wants to be with you. I... I can't even move, because both sides have such opposite desires.”

Before Kagome could respond, Kikyou spoke up. “It does not matter what your youkai side wants – you will use the wish to become human, so there is no conflict. Ignore the filthy demon blood.”

Inuyasha snarled at her as his eyes flashed red again, the hatred in them taking her aback. He was soothed, however, by Kagome running her tiny hand along his arm. “I understand. Both sides of your heritage are equally aware, and your youkai side knows that Kikyou wants to kill him. He's fighting not only for his heart, but his life, right?”

The hanyou nodded, barely able to even do that, but it was enough. Kagome looked down at the ground thoughtfully. This was, indeed, a most severe conundrum, with no easy way out. It would take a lot of thought.

If it were just a matter of giving Inuyasha up to calm this storm in his heart, she would do so. She loved him, and as she'd said, her goal was to see him happy. But in this situation, that wasn't enough. Because in order for him to go with Kikyou, only part of him would be happy – the other part would be dead. And that was why she hadn't withdrawn and let Kikyou take him – because his youkai half shouldn't have to die.

Kagome's attention was drawn upward by Kikyou's scathing tones. “Your youkai blood is delusional. Why would a priestess want anything to do with it – even one as stupid and inept as her? And why would any being want her to begin with?” she snapped.

Kagome jerked her eyes back to the other miko, a frown on her face. “Why do you hate him so much?!” she demanded.

“I don't hate the human side of Inuyasha – I love that part of him. It's the youkai blood I want no part of,” Kikyou replied.

The younger miko just shook her head wearily, knowing that she'd never manage to change the other woman's mind. She would always be prejudiced against anything with youkai blood – her training and background would never allow for anything else.

Inuyasha could hear everything being said, but he couldn't even decide how to respond. His youkai blood was enraged at what the undead miko was saying to Kagome, and even his human blood was a bit upset – while that part of him loved Kikyou, it also still cared for Kagome, and didn't want to see her hurt. His human side had, however, calmed enough while listening to the two women, to begin thinking.

'There has to be a way to make everyone happy. So what is it?' he wondered.

His youkai blood answered, almost intrigued at that thought. “Everyone? We could all be happy if you and I were not one person – if we were two people, you could have the dirt pile, and I could have Kagome, and we both would live and be happy. But we are one person...” he trialed off slowly, and combined, both sides of the hanyou looked down at what he held in his hands.

The Shikon no Tama.

“Maybe... that's the way for us all to get what we want,” the youkai blood said the human side. “If we wish it...”

'It is worth thinking about – especially as I can't see any other way this would work,' human Inuyasha said slowly. 'But could Kagome be happy with you in all your bloodthirsty glory? She hates killing, and you like it. You're violent – and have hurt her before.'

The youkai snarled. “Only because you weaken me – your blood dulls my mind when the youkai comes out – without that human blood in me to corrupt the pure youkai blood, I would be akin to any other full-blooded youkai. And I want Kagome as my mate – I would never harm her! As for the killing... well, I will do what is necessary to protect her and I, but I am not so bloodthirsty as all that. I would make her happy.”

'Then ask her... if she agrees, we can do this.'

His muscles once again loosening as the two came to an agreement, Inuyasha looked over at Kagome, his eyes red, crests evident, and claws and fangs sharper, more prominent. “We have come to a decision, the human and I,” he rumbled deeply. “But I must know, for this to work – would you still love me if I were full youkai?”

Both women looked taken aback, Kikyou's face rapidly turning to anger. Kagome, though, simply looked at Inuyasha and smiled gently. “I really ought to osuwari you for even asking me that, because you should know better, but the answer is yes – I will always love you, no matter what form you have. It's what you are inside that I love, and you have always had two sides to you – human and youkai.”

“You would not fear me?” he asked, needing to be sure.

“Have I ever?”

And that decided it. She would accept him, no matter what, and both sides felt happiness flow through them at the realization that they could both have what they wanted – and no one would be left out. Once again, he looked at Kagome with his red eyes, then turned to look at Kikyou with eyes that flickered to violet, and said, “Neither of you will ever be alone again.” As both women stared at him, uncertain of his meaning, he held up the Shikon no Tama and made his wish.

“I wish that both sides of myself be split into separate beings, as though we were never one, and that Kikyou be given her life back to live with the human as they both wanted so many years ago. For my youkai being, I wish that Kagome be granted life equal to his, so that we are never apart.”

As soon as those words were out, light erupted from the gem, engulfing all three people in its brilliance. Kikyou could feel her flesh warm, and hear her newly beating heart as she raised her eyes, and caught sight of a human Inuyasha staring at her with a happy, welcoming smile on his face. She returned his smile, neither of them paying any attention to the other two beings in the light with them.

Kagome could literally feel death's hold on her dropping away as new strength and energy flooded her system, power radiating from her, and enveloping the other person in its gentle touch. Her gaze met the suddenly golden eyes of a fully youkai Inuyasha – she was astounded at how handsome he was – and how much he now resembled his brother. The markings were different, of course, but it was as if he'd been born a full-blooded youkai, with all the powers and strengths – and controls – that any other with his powerful blood would have.

He was a beautiful sight... and he was alive.

The moment the light faded, youkai and human looked at each other, finally being freed of each others influence for the first time in their lives – and both smiled. They were actually both happier being separate, even above and beyond the Kikyou and Kagome problem. Perhaps it was meant to be this way all along.

And as the shocked gasps and excited voices of their friends babbled from the sidelines, the two women also smiled tentatively at each other, very aware of just how strange their combined fates had been. Two women, one soul, now divided, and one male, two souls, now separate...

The gods definitely had a fine sense of irony, for who else could have matched them, but someone who held an equally strange fate?

“So... perhaps we should think about the name problem,” youkai Inuyasha said. “Since you are neither Inu, nor youkai, any longer, I think we should choose you another name, don't you?”

Kagome, Kikyou, and human Inu chuckled, though Kikyou looked a little uneasy still. Alive, it seemed her heart wasn't as cold as it had been dead, but she would never be comfortable around youkai. Though, at least the virulent hate seemed to be gone.

Kikyou glanced up at her fully human love, and said, “How about we just shorten it down to Sha? It's similar enough that it will be like calling a nickname, but won't be mistaken by them,” she tilted her head in the youkai's direction – and Kagome's.

Both the human and youkai thought about it for a moment, as Kagome nodded. “I think it sounds like Kikyou has a good idea.” She smiled over at the older miko; it was a gesture of peace, and the living Kikyou smiled back.

The newly-named Sha grinned and wrapped an arm around Kikyou, his red-fire rat a little loose now that he was fully human, and a little smaller in size than his youkai self. “Guess I gotta get the clothes adjusted now,” he joked, looking up a bit warily as the rest of the group began to approach – along with his brother.

Inuyasha could feel his brother's youki nearing, and turned to look at him, scooping Kagome up and pushing her behind him protectively. While they hadn't fought in some time, and indeed, had been allies against Naraku, he wasn't sure what Sesshoumaru's reaction to his new state would be – and he wasn't about to have his female in danger of any sort.

Sesshoumaru, however, beyond the initial surprise at how much his now youkai brother looked like their father, wasn't bothered, merely looking him over, then looking at the human form of his brother. “Interesting. I would say that the stain of human blood on our house has been removed,” he glanced at Kagome, “except for the fact that you intend to taint it again by taking a human mate.” Though his words seemed harsh, there was no spite in them, it was merely a statement of fact.

His youkai brother nodded. “I do, and I won't put up with anybody interfering.” It was a warning, and everyone knew it.

Sesshoumaru's brow rose. “If I had wanted the miko dead, she would have been so, long ago. I hold no desire to kill her.” He glanced at the formerly undead miko, then. “However, I would watch out for that one – there is no saying that she will not try again.” With that, he turned on his heel and, leading his entourage, disappeared into the trees at the edge of the battlefield, leaving the four alone with the remains of the Inu-tachi.

Sango sidled up to Kagome, eyeing the full youkai Inuyasha uncertainly. “So... this was really the best solution, Kagome? You will be okay, right?”

Surprisingly, it was Miroku who answered, after watching the youkai male, and the way he almost automatically seemed to protect Kagome from anything that could be perceived as a threat. “Why wouldn't she be, Sango? You must remember – this youkai Inuyasha is not the same as what he would become before. If anything, Kagome is safer now than she has ever been.”

Inuyasha nodded gratefully at his friend. “I will never hurt her.”

Miroku smiled, then looked at Sha and Kikyou. “And what are everyone's plans, then? Now that Naraku is no more...”

Sha looked down and met Kikyou's eyes. “We'll be returning to the village and settling there – that way Kikyou can spend the rest of the time Kaede has left with her sister.”

Kagome frowned at that question, unsure of what her now youkai Inuyasha would want to do. He looked down at her as he tugged her around to stand next to him, concerned. “I don't know what we will do, since I believe the well has probably closed.” Kagome gasped; she had forgotten that fear that she'd had. Inuyasha tilted her chin up and smiled at her, ignoring the sympathetic murmurs from the others. “Even if it has, woman, it's no big deal. Did you forget the part of the wish I made for you? We'll live to see your family again.”

Her eyes widened as she stared at him, and then she smiled back. “I forgot that,” she mumbled. “Thanks for reminding me.”

Sango reached out and took her best friends hand, gaining her attention. “Why don't you two come back and live with us in the slayer's village? Miroku and I are going to rebuild as soon as Kaede weds us – you both are welcome to come, too!”

Miroku nodded as Inuyasha met his eyes questioningly. “Indeed, Inuyasha, we would welcome both of your presences,” he said, an almost hopeful expression on his face – the same look Sango was giving Kagome.

Kagome took a deep breath, and looked up at her love, then smiled as they both came to the same decision. Turning her gaze back to their two friends, she nodded happily. “We'll do it.”

“Even if the well is still open?” the slayer asked apprehensively.

“Yeah,” Kagome sighed. “It works best - this way, I don't have to lose anyone I love. We can stay, and spend our lives near you guys, and raise Shippo, and then I'll still see my family later.”

Shippo cheered at that, knowing that he wasn't going to lose Kagome now, and jumped into her arms, happily chattering about all the fun they would have together.

Wearily, but with joy in their hearts, the tachi, and the formerly undead miko, along with Sha, gathered their things, and began the journey back to the village by the well to begin their futures. And if it didn't always go as they had planned, they were all still happy with what the fates had allowed them to have...

For once, the Shikon no Tama had actually been used for something good... and the wish had worked.

-cCc-

A/N: This was my answer to the eternal question – Kikyou or Kagome? I've read a lot of fics about Inu making a choice, and I've even seen a few where he just takes them both. So I decided to switch things up – now instead of one man, and two women, there's two men, and two women. Much neater solution. My inner neat freak female is quite happy with it, too, lol. Also, a few people have mentioned that this wouldn't be classified as a pure wish, and it has to be a pure wish. I'm going to have to call people on that one - the manga never said it had to be a 'pure' wish - only that it had to be the RIGHT wish. The pure wish idea is simply from a lot of fanfics deciding that the wish had to be pure. A good point to think about on this - there is no such thing as a completely pure wish. Any wish, no matter what, would have something self-serving about it.

Hope I threw everybody for a loop, and put a new twist on an old conundrum.

Amber