InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Willing to Try ❯ Willing to Try: Once more ( Chapter 2 )

Willing to try

 

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A/N: I've got lots of inspiration for this story right now, it seems. I know you might find Kagome a bit whiny,
but high school girls tend to get like that when something bad happens to them, don't you agree? :)
Anyway, this story is not going to bee to dark, or too angsty, or too long, so I hope you'll enjoy the ride, and please review :)

 

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Words couldn't describe the feeling. So okay, yes, she did know better now, but she'd tried every other job in the book. It just didn't work. They either said she was too miserable or she wasn't `cut for it'. She didn't even know how she should be to be `cut' for those lame ass jobs.

 

It was cool, it was fine, she didn't need those people anyway. The only alternative was to keep doing what she and Sango had started, but this time she was really afraid. What if someone like Onigumo would kill her too? What if one of those men got drunk and tried to rape her, forgetting that it wasn't part of her job? She ordered another drink.

 

Really, it was one of those nights in that place. But when wasn't these days? She'd come to this bar religiously, she'd stay until very late in the morning, she'd go home and sleep a couple of hours then be late for school. Life wasn't too generous with her, but she supposed she should be grateful for being alive. That was not what Sango could say.

 

And, naturally, the pang of guilt that was always there slapped her in the face. She'd killed her friend. Not literally, but it was her fault that Sango had died. If she'd let Onigumo take what he'd wanted, if she'd let go of her innocence, Sango would still be here with her, she wouldn't have to keep coming to this pathetic bar, she wouldn't have to be afraid of her own damn job, her life would be all smiles again.

 

Instead, she was just `not cut' for all the other jobs, and she just `had to go on doing her job' while her father just `drank a little more'. Things were supposed to be ironic in life, but she figured this was too damn much even for a sinner like herself.

 

Vodka was her usual poison, she'd drink herself into oblivion every damn night. The only problem was that no matter how much she downed, she usually didn't seem to get as drunk as she wanted, so the pain of what she'd done never really left her. It was cruel, really, but she supposed she deserved it. Stay, Sango had begged, and yet she'd left her alone. Kagome, her best friend, had left her to bleed to death and had only returned to the hospital afterwards to learn that her friend was no more. The bleeding had been too much for the poor girl and she'd passed away. Time of death: twelve thirty-six.

 

Kagome glanced at her watch and wished she hadn't. Twelve thirty-six. Why were the Kami so mean? She wanted to make up for her transgression, but how could she when everything around her reminded her so much of Sango-chan? Lovely, friendly Sango-chan who'd always help her when she needed it?

 

She had another shot. Really, with the money she was making, she was stupid for coming here every night and spending so much on drinking, but Jakotsu was a sweetie and the drinks were sometimes on the house, in those days when she really looked like hell.

 

She paid and stumbled outside of the bar, trying to remember her way home. Her legs felt like jelly, was everything spinning around her or was it just her? She figured she was really fucked up I she already saw double, maybe even triple, and found she enjoyed the feeling just a bit. She tripped on her own feet and clung to someone, some firm arm undoubtedly belonging to a man, and she started laughing. Really, really hard with her head tilted backwards. Smiling at the man, she giggled when she couldn't really make out his face, but… oh, well….

 

“Thank yoooou,” she said with another laughter fit. It was so so funny to see two guys instead of one and not to be able to discern their face. Sooo funny.

 

“Go home, miss,” the old voice said and she laughed harder.

 

“Thank yoooooou,” she repeated, laughing still. Maybe some part of her brain understood the fact that the stranger had left, but the situation didn't seem less funny. No, she decided she needed a cab. Suddenly, she found herself missing that hanyou, what-was-his-name-again Inuyasha. Yes, she had to find him.

 

She found the nearest station, it was a miracle she was still standing, but she didn't worry about that. Instead, she checked every car, opening the passenger door and inspecting the driver, calling, “Here, puppy, puppy,” and, “Have you seen my puppy?” or, “Where's my puppy when I need him?” She didn't mind the fact that all taxi drivers were either glaring at her or giving her strange looks whenever she stumbled, but she needed Inuyasha. She liked making fun of him, she wanted him to give her a ride home.

 

“Inuyasha!” she yelled in the middle of all those cars that kept coming and going, “Inuyasha! Puppy! Where the heck are you?” Kagome threw her arms in the air for dramatic effect, she could be such a drama queen if she wanted to.

 

“Inu-”

 

“Damn, alright, I'm here,” an angry voice suddenly shouted from her left and she turned towards the sound, ecstatic to see her puppy standing before her. Without really thinking, not that it was something easy for her at the moment, she ran and jumped into his arms, almost making him fall on his back.

 

The other taxi drivers were honking and cursing and whatnot, so the hanyou decided to take the clearly very, very drunk girl into his cab. It seemed there was no way he could get rid of her now.

 

“You're drunk,” he spat as soon as she was on the passenger seat. The girl pouted cutely, her nose kind of red but not very.

 

“No, I'm not,” she said seriously and his eyebrows shot upwards for a moment - she'd sounded really sober. But then she stammered on her slurred words when she told him she'd missed him. He sighed, he knew alcohol made people say really strange things.

 

“You know, I think you're kinda cute,” she said with that cute pout still on, “but you should work on that attitude o' yours.” Her hand slapped the back of his neck and he almost hit his forehead on the wheel, but he recovered from his surprise soon enough to prevent it.

 

“S-sor-eeeee,” she said while laughing freely, clutching her stomach while doing so. The situation may have seemed amusing, but Inuyasha was missing the funny part completely. “I meant to hit you shoulder,” she sort of apologized, and he figured he should give her a break. After all, she was pissed drunk.

 

“Why are you drunk?”

 

“Why do you care?” she asked, still unable to control her laughter, which was really pissing him off, since he knew she was laughing at him.

 

“I should take you home,” he changed the subject, looked outside the window, “where do you live?”

 

“Around,” she answered, finally getting a grip of herself. A smile was still there, but her stomach hurt so much from laughing that she couldn't continue. Still, it had been a good experience. A funny one, she'd enjoyed it.

 

“What does it mean, around? Tell me so I can drive you home.”

 

“You know what? Just leave me at school, I'll sleep there,” she said seriously, so seriously that he could have mistaken her for a sober person yet again.

 

“What?!” It sounded ridiculous, why would she want to sleep at school? “I can't let you do that.”

 

“There's a bench there, I'll be juuuust peachy,” she slurred, her eyebrows furrowed. Inuyasha tapped his fingers on the wheel and raised his eyebrows, this chick was so weird.

 

“Fine, whatever, if you say so…” So he drove her to Osaka High School, waited for her to realize they had reached the school, waited for her to figure out how to get out of the car without laughing herself to the ground and then assisted her in getting on that damned school bench safely. It wasn't an easy achievement, but he knew he'd feel awful if he left her here just like that.

 

He watched her lie on the bench with her eyes closed for a while then sighed deeply. No, she was crazy, but still too good for him. He shouldn't keep bumping into her and she shouldn't keep asking for him, that just didn't do.

 

Before he could get back to the car, he heard her yell, wait - maybe a little too loud.

 

“Yeah?” he turned around, what could she possibly want now?

 

He saw her reach into her purse, no, she didn't need to do that. He smiled this time, told her it was on him and was surprised to hear her thank him. This time, when she lowered herself to the bench she looked like she'd really fallen asleep. Deciding it was her problem anyway, he got back in the taxi, mad at himself for already worrying about her.

 

The next morning came quickly and Kagome found that sunlight wasn't entirely good for a hangover. The first thing that she noticed was off about her surroundings was that it didn't look like the interior of her bedroom at all. It looked more like… a bench on the school ground. And it was, she'd fallen asleep on the bench, but how had she got here? She could just remember bits and pieces, really tiny bits and really, really slim pieces, but that was more than fine. She was fine, safe, never better, and she hadn't thought of Sango at all the night before. The alcohol had worked for once, maybe it had been because of her fatigue.

 

School was easy, she fumbled through classes, vowing that things would change. She always did that, always promised to herself that she'd change her life, but she hadn't even got over the death of Sango, how could she?

 

Ayumi-chan came to her desk again, it was break, why couldn't they all leave her alone?

 

“Kagome-chan,” the gentle, maybe too sharp voice said, “why don't you eat something? You look ashen.”

 

“'M fine,” she mumbled into her sleeves, she didn't want to raise her head from the desk.

 

“Really, Kagome-chan, I understand you were close to Sango-chan, but she's gone, you've got to get over it,” she whined. It was all she ever got, whiny, prissy classmates that wouldn't leave her alone.

 

“Go away,” she mumbled, the sound distorted by the clothing she had her face into.

 

“Fine, but will you please come with us tonight? There's a party at Yuka's house tonight.”

 

A party? It sounded fun, lots of drinks, lots of music, lots of dancing, maybe she'd forget about her plight. Really, she was pathetic trying to forget about Sango-chan entirely, but she didn't know how to deal with it otherwise. Guilt was devouring her bit by bit and she couldn't stand it anymore. Things were going rapidly downhill, and what if she remained this way all her life? She didn't want that, never that.

 

That's why she took the chance, that's why she decided to cheer herself up, “Okay, I'll come. Count me in.”

 

“Really?” Ayumi said excitedly, “That's great, see you there.”

 

Today her job was fairly easy. The man, Akitoki Hojo, was content only by listening to her reading him a poem. He sat right through it, never said anything, it was soothing. He didn't look at her strangely, didn't make lewd comments, he was just fine. A change from all the others that usually had wives at home and didn't want to literally cheat on them, but settled for letting young girls entertain them. This wasn't the best job for the moment, but it gave her the money she so needed, and besides, she couldn't find another one, she'd already tried so hard.

 

But no matter, no problem, she'd endure it, she'd bear the knowledge that Sango-chan wasn't there to help her with this anymore, she was alone in this. Maybe the Kami would some day take pity on her and send her someone to love and cherish and all that mushy stuff. Yeah, like that would ever happen.

 

The party evening came quickly and she was surprised at how easily the alcohol was getting to her once again. Ayumi kept asking her not to drink any more because she was already swaying on her feet and talking to people she didn't know, it was dangerous. She danced a lot, made a lot of guys leave the party blue-balled. She didn't care, she couldn't care as Sango was the only thing on her mind, why did it hurt her so much, why had it affected her so much? Maybe if she tried more she'd find a reason to be happy, she'd… be happy. That was what she wanted most, it was what she promised herself she'd do whenever she downed another shot.

 

Ayumi called her a cab to drive her home, it wasn't Inuyasha and she found she missed him, she had only seen him once, but still, something told her he was alright.

 

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Inuyasha sighed, things weren't going so well for him at the moment, but when had they ever been okay? And to top it all off, he couldn't get his mind off that stupid little girl that seemed to ask for trouble and wait patiently until it found her. Why was he so worried about her anyway? It probably had something to do with how miserable she'd seemed last night, she'd drank so much, why had she felt the need? He didn't know anything about her, but really, what could be so bad as to make a high school girl drink herself into near unconsciousness?

 

Yes, he admitted, she was sort of cute, sort of funny in a weird way, he liked her a little. Well, maybe he liked her more than that, but he couldn't let himself try anything with her. After all, she was a little girl, he was… a hanyou. And he was in loads of trouble, too, he couldn't get her involved. He wouldn't be able to live with it if he got another woman involved in his shit.

 

“What do you want today?” he asked the black figure that was waiting for him on the alleyway. He couldn't help being bitter, it was not like he was here on his free will. If it were for him, he'd fucking rip the bastard to pieces, but he couldn't. They'd made a deal. This asshole would not hurt anybody if Inuyasha worked for him. So he did, every night he did whatever the bastard asked of him, not matter how appalling it was. Stealing he could deal with, after all, what was another sin scratched on his list? Selling stuff was okay, too, he could smell dying junkies from afar and would never give them stuff, so it was okay - as long as Naraku lay off the killing, everything was fine.

 

It didn't matter that Inuyasha was starting to hate himself even more for working with the one man that had destroyed his entire life, but he figured it was the least he could do to pay for his actions and the cruel way they had destroyed the only two persons he had cared about.

 

He could still remember Kikyou's warm smile as she lay in his arms, he'd promised to himself every time that he'd protect her, that he wouldn't let anything bad happen to her. Yet he'd let her down. And Kaede, too, his love's little sister, he could recall how they'd pulled out one of her eyes, torturing her so agonizingly, and he hadn't been able to do anything more than watch as they killed her slowly, excruciatingly. He swore he'd some day kill Naraku, but for now he wasn't prepared enough - the bastard had an entire army to protect him.

 

So he'd keep working for him to prevent killings like those from happening. People shouldn't die that easily, their loved ones needed them. He knew it, he felt it, why was it so hard?

 

“Just deliver something for me,” Naraku said with a taunting smile, a smile that haunted him and shook his whole body with disgust. He wanted to know what it was he was delivering, but he didn't ask.

 

“Fine,” Inuyasha said, “alright, I'll do it. And the usual, okay? Don't kill anyone.”

 

“I'm clean,” Naraku said innocently, raising his palms up in a sign of peace, yes, Inuyasha believed him for now, it was what kept him going.

 

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A/N: Just wanted to clarify something. Kagome doesn't really remember Inuyasha taking her to the school when she was drunk, so she thinks she's only seen him once :)