InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Windows on the West ❯ All the Wisdom of the Ancients ( Chapter 23 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Disclaimer:  I do not own the characters of Inuyasha.

~oOo~

Five days.

Five days it had been since the miko had died in his arms – and still, he could not get her final words out of his mind.  And even though he'd brought her back, ordering Tenseiga to bow to his will, the things she'd said to him would not leave him alone.

“If power is so important, tell me... once you take over the world, what will you do then?  When you have nothing left to prove to anyone, and no one there to care for... what will you do?”

That particular statement had followed him into one of his rare dreams, setting the stage for him to imagine just that – he had succeeded in his drive to Supreme Conquest, and now ruled the whole of the lands... but instead of the expected pleasure in such a dream, he had only felt empty, and cold – and alone.  

It had not been as he'd imagined it would be.  Instead of the satisfaction he'd expected, he'd felt stifled, stuck inside a palace as he was faced with squabbling nobles, political intrigue, assasination attempts, and endless days of paperwork and tedious formality.  

After waking, he could only feel relief inside himself to find that it had, indeed, only been a dream, and that he was still free.  It had finally occurred to him – in order to fulfill that long-held desire, he would have to forfeit his freedom entirely, and spend his life in a cage.  A silk-lined one, to be sure, but still... it would be nothing more than a fancy prison.

That dream had made him take a good long look at his life as it was now, and his life as it would be if he continued to follow the path he had been so adamantly striding along, and what he found was that he was much more content with what he had now, than anything that dream had given him.

So... was it worth the loss of freedom and life to prove to anyone whatever it was he felt he needed to prove?

The answer was no.

Really, he thought to himself, who do I, Sesshoumaru, need to prove anything to?  I am already at the pinnacle – there are none that can stand against me.  And I have the power of death in my hands, as well as the power of life.  Who else in all the world can say the same?  

That was issue number one taken care of... but there was another thing the miko had said to him that day... and that particular item was much more difficult for him to face.  

“I hate to tell you this, Sesshoumaru, but that's called caring.  If you didn't care, you wouldn't bother to keep those promises.   I think you just don't understand what it is to care about someone, because you haven't had someone care for you in so long.”  

Brow furrrowed, he thought about that for a good long while, despite the fact that it made him uncomfortable.  Did I ever have something to care about?  He asked himself.  The answer wasn't long in coming.  No.  But then there was Rin... and even though I did not revive her for any other reason than to test Tenseiga, still... it was not necessary for her to follow me afterwards.  

He shifted a bit against the back of the well, watchful eyes brushing over the children playing in the field as they waited for the little miko's return.  The rest of the group, his useless half-brother, and the monk and slayer, were in the village proper, but he would not enter a human village unless there was no other choice.

Once satisfied that there was no threat near, and that the kit, and Rin, were still safe and within eyesight, he lost himself in his uncomfortable thoughts again.

He knew that at first, allowing the small human child to follow him was simple curiosity on his part – he'd wondered at the girl, much the same way as he wondered over the miko.  But I cannot deny that it became more as time went on.  After all, it would have been much easier to leave her in hell the second time that she died... but I could not.  I could not fathom allowing the dark Master of that place to throw Rin into a pile of corpses as though she were nothing more than refuse.

So... I, despite my previous desire to deny it to myself, care... for Rin.

But do I also care for the miko?

At this question, something inside him shifted uneasily, wishing to deny that he did.  But if he truly didn't care, then he wouldn't be so uncomfortable with the thought of it.  Much as he might want to deny her words,  he couldn't – because he refused to lie to himself.  Lying to oneself was a weakness, and one to be avoided at all cost.

He had never done so before, and he refused to start now.

But was it really so odd, so bad, to care for the little miko?  She would be a companion for a very long time to come, after all, and she was pack.  It wasn't wrong, or a weakness, to care for pack.  

So why am I so uneasy?  Thinking of Rin as pack, and caring for her, does not engender any discomfort in this one.  So why is it so different for the miko?

Just then, the well behind him filled with power, and the effervescent presence of the young woman burst over the entire clearing.  He stood, reaching a hand into the darkness within the wooden structure to assist her out of it.  When she reached solid ground, she beamed cheerfully up at him.

“Ohayo, Sesshoumaru-sama!  Anything important happen while I was gone?”  she asked

He started to say no, and then hesitated, before slowly saying,  “Not as you mean, miko.  However...”  he turned his head to watch the children tumble and skip their way over to Kagome, then shook his head and looked up at the sky,  “... something important happened to this one.”

Kagome blinked at him, then tilted her head questioningly.  He had such an odd look on his face... “Well... was it something good?”

Still staring at the cloudless sky, eyes locked on some far horizon, he said,  “Part of it was... the rest-”  he flicked a lock of hair behind his ear, silver rippling behind him as the sun caught the strands,  “-only time will tell.”

At that, her expression became knowing.  “Oh.  I see... you had a couple of realizations.”  She nodded solemnly, her own eyes turning to stare into the sky, before looking back down at the kids.  “They're usually uncomfortable at first... but once you get used to the idea, you forget all about it being awkward.”

Brow furrowed, he looked down at her, then.  “Is that so?”

She smiled, then looked over at him, before leaning down to greet Shippou and Rin.  After standing back up, she chuckled, and flicked the obviously bewildered daiyoukai a quick glance once more.  

“Yeah.  I was kinda doing the same thing while I was home for those days.  And even though I wasn't comfortable with those realizations at first, in fact I tried like heck to deny them, I finally had to cave, and admit to myself what I was trying so hard to hide from.”  

She smiled wider at his silence as she watched him, white and glimmering in the sun.  “I'll give you a tip – stop thinking about whatever it is for now.  Just let it settle, and in a few days or so, you'll find that it isn't bothering you so much.”

With that bit of sage advice, the young woman tugged her bag higher onto her shoulder, and turned towards the village, the children following along behind her happily, leaving him to stand alone before the well, thinking, once again, on something the miko had said.

It occurred to him then that he had spent a lot of time since she'd joined him doing just that same thing.

All the wisdom of the ancients hidden inside a little human miko.

And then he frowned as he took in the rest of what she'd said.

She, herself, came to an... uncomfortable realization while at home?

Curiosity, his begetting sin, kicked in, then, and he absently began to follow her as his mind started turning over her words, trying to figure out what she could have been pondering for so many days.

Just like that, he was following the little onna's advice without even realizing it, as his mind dropped everything else, and began worrying over her words like a dog with a bone.

Sure enough... within a few days, the matter that had had him so bothered before, had integrated into his psyche to the point that it was no longer uncomfortable.

It was just a simple fact now...

He, indeed, cared for the miko.

As for the how of it, he decided not to think about that at all... time would answer that question all on its own.

~oOo~

A/N:  Anyone need any explanations?  I hope not... anyway, thanks to all the reviewers!  I honestly hadn't expected this little tale to be so well-received, but I'm glad that people are being entertained!  And r0o – the next chapter will have Sessmom... just for you, because I remember you mentioning that back a few chapters ago.

Amber



Converting /tmp/phpinGRvw to /dev/stdout